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So I just want to start by letting everyone know that as soon as we move into a house, our lovely little Beans will become a full inside cat. Beans came to us unexpectedly as a sick stray. We were asked by the other apartments if we could keep in inside so he didn't infect the other neighborhood cats.
I'm someone super allergic to cats, but for some reason I don't react negatively to him. And when I do, it is nowhere NEAR the day-ending debilitation I've had in the past. So... watching the little guy struggle with sneezes just made me bond and fall in love with him and I'm the one who chose to keep him. He has all his shots, fixed, and medicated against fleas and ticks, but our current apartment (Which we intend to leave within the year or two) is too small to satisfy his curiosity. So he spends some time exploring outdoors
I am acutely aware of the damage cats do outdoors, which is why I acted on advice to get him a break-away collar and bell to scare off potential prey. Problem: he lost the breakaway collar (along with the little metal tag the vet gives to prove he got his shots) the first day. Is this super common? What's your budget for these collars? Should we just keep a supply of tags and collars until we move somewhere with more inside space? Do we just need to bear his cries and keep him inside at all times? Thank you

How do I stop this madness? It is filling up my mailbox and causing the mailman to have to stop delivery of legit mail. Depending on the time of year, I could easily get 30 or more letters from Questrade in one week and I don't check my mail every week (UPS store).
I have asked Questrade 3 times to stop all mail to me or just send an email instead. I told them I will sign anything they want, just stop the damn mail. It's all completely useless stuff on behalf of the ETFs I own telling me they paid a distribution, or informing me that there is a new financial report available online or some other completely unnecessary stuff I don't need to get in the mail. Why can't they just send me an email instead?
What is the solution??? There are probably a lot of people who own more ETFs than me so how do they deal with this? I have had accounts with other brokers and it seems much worse with Questrade for some reason. The problem seems to mostly be with US listed ETFs in my RRSP. Questrade just can't seem to stop the mails for some reason. I didn't seem to get nearly as much when I had my RRSP with one of the big banks.

I have two receiver flats that I can’t do anything with now that I can’t “manufacture” an “assault weapon”.
However, I also have a nearly complete Childers receiver. It’s complete enough that I had to FFL and 4473 it though it’s gutted and not populated.
This bare receiver is legally a pre ban firearm, so completing it isn’t manufacturing. Is there anything stopping me? I can’t get 30rd AK mags yes, but is there anything stopping me from getting a threaded AK barrel? A trunnion? A flash hider? The “firearm” itself predates the ban. What can and can’t I order to complete it?
Not a legal question, more so asking if anyone has interpreted the new law as “No, you can’t order a slant muzzle brake now”.

Good morning, folks! I have gotten approval from the mod team to host a March Madness-style bracket tournament to determine the "best" cantrip in 5e! It's Mage Madness!!
Each day I'll post a poll for you all to vote, matching two cantrips head-to-head. You simply decide which should win. You can base your vote on which is mechanically stronger, which has the best flavor, the best memes, or just your personal favorite.
I'll be updating this Challonge bracket with the results as we go. You can also check out the hub post.
Seeding was done by me, with input from nearly a dozen 5e veterans. It is certainly subjective, but the votes will bring the best forward.
--------VOTE HERE---------
MATCHUP 42 - Guidance [4] vs Minor Illusion [3]

I have been in a transition with down sizing my homelab from full 19inch gear to power efficient tiny/micro/mini PCs that I now will gather in a 10inch rack cabinet.
Here is my challenging part, one of the tinies I have gotten hold of requires 29,5cm (11,5inches) in depth, and finding a half size rack or as we europeans know as 10inch rack cabinet which supports the following meassures seems near impossible:
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Width: apropriate for 10inch gear, this is not a limiting issue with the gear I currently have if I need to alter the side rails in some form to support the position of my gear I have no trouble doing so.
Height: preferably 15U, but 12U will do in a pinch.
Depth: support 11,5inches in depth, doesn't matter if it's the depth from the door to the back wall when the door is closed, I will not be limited by the usable depth which dictates the depth from the side rails to the back wall, it is the depth from the closed front door to the back wall which is my main concern.
​
Do anyone of you know of a rack cabinet that supports these meassures?
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Most of the cabinets I have found will state they are 30cm in depth, but this is outside meassures not counting the thickness of the front panel or mouting hardware for securing the rack to a wall, which leaves me unsure if this specific tiny case that needs to fit will actually leave space for the door to close.
I have even thought of removing the door and having the rack more like a four post open rack, but the spot I want to place it in would diminish the astetics if this were to be the solution, which is why I ask you minilabbers for help in pointing out suitable gear to fulfill my requirements.

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Just my thoughts on playing 0.G for several dozen hours.
I love this update btw, it’s added a ton of features i’m loving. The water on fire to clean it thing is amazing, very convenient. Static bases are a great idea, even though i didn’t really use it. The changes with CBMs being Exodii tech is a cool change to the lore, i’ll enjoy when it’s fully implemented so human zombies don’t have it anymore.
Firstly, world gen. I un-blacklisted the no Fungaloids mod because they’re ruined previous worlds just through lag alone. I don’t mind them as enemies, but the cleanup is too much. If they started dying after the main tower was killed, the same as other similar kinds of enemy, that would make them better to deal with.
The slimes pits and ants have the same problem. The spawn rate is way too high, making the cleanup take forever, lag the game, and feel generally bad. If they’re not dealt with early game, having several hundred running around is just irritating.
I like the idea of skill rust, but turned it off after a test world. Losing levels isn’t fun. Idk why my character would forget or entirely lose the ability to craft stuff. Losing progress is fine, levels is personally no fun for me.
All the skills are good. Mechanics was annoying to train up until i realised that Military Composite Armour installing was the best way to train it up.
Anyway start was good, having more makeshift tools means it encourages heading out earlier.
Early game combat is hard, which is good. Wasps spawn in a lot of places, and they’re impossible to deal with early game with no armour and bad melee. Love it, a new character should be avoiding hard enemies early on. It took finding some grenades to clean them up from areas i wanted to explore.
Not much else to say about early game, except forging is still not complete. The crucible step is still pointless. Plus there should be more steps. Creating a billet is kinda implemented for the higher level stuff where you make lumps of steel, that’s good. Maybe splitting the process up into forging a blank, then grinding and finishing would be too many recipes, then again we do strive for realism here.
We need more varied food in fridges, every household seems to be obsessed with soy sauce and cheese. Also more frozen stuff like nuggets.
MRE boxes need more calories. The average MRE meal has 1250 calories in it, not under 300. The whole box is meant to supply soldiers with 3000 calories a day. They have nearly everything that they would normally have, but they do need Tabasco/ hot sauce. IRL it’s an absolute blessing on some of the shittier rations. Tea and coffee is in there, but i also really liked the energy drink juice powders, they’re really tasty IRL. I also don’t think they come with a desert in game which is very sad.
Small criticisms btw, compared to the entire food system which is huge and one of the best and most complex things in the game.
The welding blanket thing i know has been fixed with a makeshift one in the latest experimental, but the spawn rates should be higher. No self respecting mechanic who welds should be without one.
The car mechanics are still good. I assume it’s going to be expanded at some point, with all the extra bits like drive shafts, brakes, radiators, all the things that make cars actually work. Complex, but then again that’s CDDA. Building my base APC after clearing the military base is a long but rewarding process.
Once again, i like the Exodii base. The lore is great, i like Rubik, can’t wait for quest expansion. Same for hub 01. Some stuff in his shop needs to spawn together, i couldn’t use the Exodii rifle for the longest time as the 68 magazines were’t available, only the 71. The trust system is also strange, i know how it works but it being clearer or going up with quests would be better. Once again, something i i know is in the works.
Never managed to find a nanofab to make the RM13 armour i found, tho afaik hub 01 is planned to get one. The collapsed towers are insane, but enjoyable. Having a million enemies releasing gas, with no breaks is what a late game raid should be like, a big challenge. My grappling hook broke once and i couldn’t get out for some reason, that was a debug moment.
I’ve enjoyed the lab changes too. Finding that an above ground vent lead to a lab was a cool moment. The physics lab was an amazingly cool find, having reality torn apart was a weird and fun experience. The artefacts aren’t super worth it to me, the negative potential consequences far outweigh the benefits for me, though i did take a string of beads that gave +2 strength and int when in inventory, with seemingly no negatives. Maybe having properties like idk “buzzing” or “ sticky” to get an inkling of the potential abilities they have would help, instead of testing every one and getting exploded.
Lab spawning i know isn’t finished, but it does make them a frustrating experience. I’m aware that the subway ones aren’t meant to have big loot which is fair enough. There need to be labs types which consistently have finales though to make them worth looking for. TCLs are a great step in this direction, they’re really fun challenges as well where the rewards are super worth it. I kept raiding them for the Rm shotgun, but apparently they don’t spawn there according to Hitchhiker :( . Easy fix to spawn rate tho.
CDDA is an amazing game, all of you working on the project are doing amazingly well, and hopefully when my life clears up a little i can contribute as well.

I've been trying to get to the bottom of multiple health issues I've been having for nearly a decade and I have a strong suspicion they're all related. One of the biggest issues I have is severe joint pain. Both knees are the worst affected areas, specifically in the quadriceps tendon (front top of knee) rather than in the actual joint itself. Although I have some degree of pain and stiffness daily, it is completely manageable until about 3 days to a week prior to my period starting. I get HORRIBLE PMS symptoms and the pain rockets up to a 10. Sitting is painful, standing is painful, walking is painful, squatting will make me pass out. Once my period actually starts, the pain backs off and I'm able to move on with regular life with minimal but manageable pain and stiffness. And of course, with having PCOS, the timing, duration and severity of my cycles and therefore symptoms is a constant mystery bucket of hell.
Does anyone else have any experience similar to this???? Has anything helped? I was diagnosed by one rheumatologist a few years ago with psoriatic arthritis, despite never having psoriasis and put on a biologic drug which kinda sorta helped but not much and gave me scary side effects. Stopped taking that. New doctor strongly believes I do NOT have psoriatic arthritis, but hasn't really presented an alternative yet. The rest of my health issues all seem to be related to my PCOS (I also have hypothyroidism) so I feel like, especially with the fluctuation of pain in line with hormonal changes, it has to be related in some way. I'd love ANY experiences, feedback, advice, etc.

So I was recently laid off (with many other people) at my comfy remote job and took a position in retail. In this particular position a lot of emphasis is place on getting people to take an online survey. The link prints out at the bottom of every receipt and we are supposed to direct people's attention to it and write our names near the link so they can comment on our customer service.
I have a variation spelling of a common name, and it's long-ish. Recently I had a self-inking stamp made with "Please take my survey! -- (my name)" so I could just stamp the bottom of the receipts.
This has not gone over well with my co-workers, who think I should not be allowed to use it as it is not "xx company approved". I did show it to my direct manager who thought it was a cute idea and said nothing about my not being able to use it, BUT I assume at some point the issue will make its way up to my DM and I'm not sure what the reaction will be.
For the life of me, I can't figure out what the difference between writing my name and stamping my name is. I know the whole issue is juvenile, but I was hoping you all could help me come up with some arguments in my favor. (and not just "get another job that doesn't require you to do this")
Thanks in advance! :)

So my LGS's monthly tournament is currently 1250 points (but using rules for 2k so 3 battleline required). The list ive come up with isn't as strong as it could be but I wanted to run a gimmick but wanted to double check if it worked how I picture it
The list is Heartwood Glade
Warsong Rev (General, running Vesperal Gem, Spellsinger and Fueled by Ghurish Rage. Chosen spell is Dwellers from Below) Lady of Vines (Chosen spell is Treesong) 2 x Dryads Kurnoths with Scythes Gossamid Archers
I can't see anything in the FAQ regarding using LoV as the casting point for Spellsinger. So I wanted to throw LoV in and cast everything from her, both with her own spells, and being used as a conduit for Warsong Rev (as I will have access to Unleash Swarm of Spites, Dwellers from Below and the spell in this season's pitched battles as combative options)
Please tell me this works how I think it does because it's so hilarious and I want to run it but need to check if its actually something that can be done (I'm sure it's far from ideal but it's too funny to not try)
TLDR: Can I yeet LoV near the enemy and use her as a conduit for Warsong Rev?

Just my thoughts on playing 0.G for several dozen hours.
I love this update btw, it’s added a ton of features i’m loving. The water on fire to clean it thing is amazing, very convenient. Static bases are a great idea, even though i didn’t really use it. The changes with CBMs being Exodii tech is a cool change to the lore, i’ll enjoy when it’s fully implemented so human zombies don’t have it anymore.
Firstly, world gen. I un-blacklisted the no Fungaloids mod because they’re ruined previous worlds just through lag alone. I don’t mind them as enemies, but the cleanup is too much. If they started dying after the main tower was killed, the same as other similar kinds of enemy, that would make them better to deal with.
The slimes pits and ants have the same problem. The spawn rate is way too high, making the cleanup take forever, lag the game, and feel generally bad. If they’re not dealt with early game, having several hundred running around is just irritating.
I like the idea of skill rust, but turned it off after a test world. Losing levels isn’t fun. Idk why my character would forget or entirely lose the ability to craft stuff. Losing progress is fine, levels is personally no fun for me.
All the skills are good. Mechanics was annoying to train up until i realised that Military Composite Armour installing was the best way to train it up.
Anyway start was good, having more makeshift tools means it encourages heading out earlier.
Early game combat is hard, which is good. Wasps spawn in a lot of places, and they’re impossible to deal with early game with no armour and bad melee. Love it, a new character should be avoiding hard enemies early on. It took finding some grenades to clean them up from areas i wanted to explore.
Not much else to say about early game, except forging is still not complete. The crucible step is still pointless. Plus there should be more steps. Creating a billet is kinda implemented for the higher level stuff where you make lumps of steel, that’s good. Maybe splitting the process up into forging a blank, then grinding and finishing would be too many recipes, then again we do strive for realism here.
We need more varied food in fridges, every household seems to be obsessed with soy sauce and cheese. Also more frozen stuff like nuggets.
MRE boxes need more calories. The average MRE meal has 1250 calories in it, not under 300. The whole box is meant to supply soldiers with 3000 calories a day. They have nearly everything that they would normally have, but they do need Tabasco/ hot sauce. IRL it’s an absolute blessing on some of the shittier rations. Tea and coffee is in there, but i also really liked the energy drink juice powders, they’re really tasty IRL. I also don’t think they come with a desert in game which is very sad.
Small criticisms btw, compared to the entire food system which is huge and one of the best and most complex things in the game.
The welding blanket thing i know has been fixed with a makeshift one in the latest experimental, but the spawn rates should be higher. No self respecting mechanic who welds should be without one.
The car mechanics are still good. I assume it’s going to be expanded at some point, with all the extra bits like drive shafts, brakes, radiators, all the things that make cars actually work. Complex, but then again that’s CDDA. Building my base APC after clearing the military base is a long but rewarding process.
Once again, i like the Exodii base. The lore is great, i like Rubik, can’t wait for quest expansion. Same for hub 01. Some stuff in his shop needs to spawn together, i couldn’t use the Exodii rifle for the longest time as the 68 magazines were’t available, only the 71. The trust system is also strange, i know how it works but it being clearer or going up with quests would be better. Once again, something i i know is in the works.
Never managed to find a nanofab to make the RM13 armour i found, tho afaik hub 01 is planned to get one. The collapsed towers are insane, but enjoyable. Having a million enemies releasing gas, with no breaks is what a late game raid should be like, a big challenge. My grappling hook broke once and i couldn’t get out for some reason, that was a debug moment.
I’ve enjoyed the lab changes too. Finding that an above ground vent lead to a lab was a cool moment. The physics lab was an amazingly cool find, having reality torn apart was a weird and fun experience. The artefacts aren’t super worth it to me, the negative potential consequences far outweigh the benefits for me, though i did take a string of beads that gave +2 strength and int when in inventory, with seemingly no negatives. Maybe having properties like idk “buzzing” or “ sticky” to get an inkling of the potential abilities they have would help, instead of testing every one and getting exploded.
Lab spawning i know isn’t finished, but it does make them a frustrating experience. I’m aware that the subway ones aren’t meant to have big loot which is fair enough. There need to be labs types which consistently have finales though to make them worth looking for. TCLs are a great step in this direction, they’re really fun challenges as well where the rewards are super worth it. I kept raiding them for the Rm shotgun, but apparently they don’t spawn there according to Hitchhiker :( . Easy fix to spawn rate tho.
CDDA is an amazing game, all of you working on the project are doing amazingly well, and hopefully when my life clears up a little i can contribute as well.

Just my thoughts on playing 0.G for several dozen hours.
I love this update btw, it’s added a ton of features i’m loving. The water on fire to clean it thing is amazing, very convenient. Static bases are a great idea, even though i didn’t really use it. The changes with CBMs being Exodii tech is a cool change to the lore, i’ll enjoy when it’s fully implemented so human zombies don’t have it anymore.
Firstly, world gen. I un-blacklisted the no Fungaloids mod because they’re ruined previous worlds just through lag alone. I don’t mind them as enemies, but the cleanup is too much. If they started dying after the main tower was killed, the same as other similar kinds of enemy, that would make them better to deal with.
The slimes pits and ants have the same problem. The spawn rate is way too high, making the cleanup take forever, lag the game, and feel generally bad. If they’re not dealt with early game, having several hundred running around is just irritating.
I like the idea of skill rust, but turned it off after a test world. Losing levels isn’t fun. Idk why my character would forget or entirely lose the ability to craft stuff. Losing progress is fine, levels is personally no fun for me.
All the skills are good. Mechanics was annoying to train up until i realised that Military Composite Armour installing was the best way to train it up.
Anyway start was good, having more makeshift tools means it encourages heading out earlier.
Early game combat is hard, which is good. Wasps spawn in a lot of places, and they’re impossible to deal with early game with no armour and bad melee. Love it, a new character should be avoiding hard enemies early on. It took finding some grenades to clean them up from areas i wanted to explore.
Not much else to say about early game, except forging is still not complete. The crucible step is still pointless. Plus there should be more steps. Creating a billet is kinda implemented for the higher level stuff where you make lumps of steel, that’s good. Maybe splitting the process up into forging a blank, then grinding and finishing would be too many recipes, then again we do strive for realism here.
We need more varied food in fridges, every household seems to be obsessed with soy sauce and cheese. Also more frozen stuff like nuggets.
MRE boxes need more calories. The average MRE meal has 1250 calories in it, not under 300. The whole box is meant to supply soldiers with 3000 calories a day. They have nearly everything that they would normally have, but they do need Tabasco/ hot sauce. IRL it’s an absolute blessing on some of the shittier rations. Tea and coffee is in there, but i also really liked the energy drink juice powders, they’re really tasty IRL. I also don’t think they come with a desert in game which is very sad.
Small criticisms btw, compared to the entire food system which is huge and one of the best and most complex things in the game.
The welding blanket thing i know has been fixed with a makeshift one in the latest experimental, but the spawn rates should be higher. No self respecting mechanic who welds should be without one.
The car mechanics are still good. I assume it’s going to be expanded at some point, with all the extra bits like drive shafts, brakes, radiators, all the things that make cars actually work. Complex, but then again that’s CDDA. Building my base APC after clearing the military base is a long but rewarding process.
Once again, i like the Exodii base. The lore is great, i like Rubik, can’t wait for quest expansion. Same for hub 01. Some stuff in his shop needs to spawn together, i couldn’t use the Exodii rifle for the longest time as the 68 magazines were’t available, only the 71. The trust system is also strange, i know how it works but it being clearer or going up with quests would be better. Once again, something i i know is in the works.
Never managed to find a nanofab to make the RM13 armour i found, tho afaik hub 01 is planned to get one. The collapsed towers are insane, but enjoyable. Having a million enemies releasing gas, with no breaks is what a late game raid should be like, a big challenge. My grappling hook broke once and i couldn’t get out for some reason, that was a debug moment.
I’ve enjoyed the lab changes too. Finding that an above ground vent lead to a lab was a cool moment. The physics lab was an amazingly cool find, having reality torn apart was a weird and fun experience. The artefacts aren’t super worth it to me, the negative potential consequences far outweigh the benefits for me, though i did take a string of beads that gave +2 strength and int when in inventory, with seemingly no negatives. Maybe having properties like idk “buzzing” or “ sticky” to get an inkling of the potential abilities they have would help, instead of testing every one and getting exploded.
Lab spawning i know isn’t finished, but it does make them a frustrating experience. I’m aware that the subway ones aren’t meant to have big loot which is fair enough. There need to be labs types which consistently have finales though to make them worth looking for. TCLs are a great step in this direction, they’re really fun challenges as well where the rewards are super worth it. I kept raiding them for the Rm shotgun, but apparently they don’t spawn there according to Hitchhiker :( . Easy fix to spawn rate tho.
CDDA is an amazing game, all of you working on the project are doing amazingly well, and hopefully when my life clears up a little i can contribute as well.

Hello everyone,
I have no great outlets for help, and I've been swirling around with emotions the last four days after my wife asked if we could have a polyamory relationship. She was asking if could date other people while keeping each other as the Primary family/relationship. My wife is 27 and I'm 32 years old. We have two boys 3 and 1 that we love with all our hearts. We have always loved being around each other and we fun every chance we get. We seldom get to go out on dates without the kids (Once every 3 months). I spend a lot of time at work during the week and she's in nursing school. We have about 3-4 hours during the week together with the kids and the weekends. We live in Florida with no other family in the state and we rely heavily on each other to make sure we and the kids have everything we need.
Day 1, 3/28/23 My wife would have liked a better setting to present this information, but I pushed her to tell me what was on her mind. I could tell she needed to share something with me. I had no clue what she was about to say. She let me know that for two years she has been desiring to have the feeling of going on a first date and having a new emotional connection with someone new (New butterfly feeling when you first date someone). Something I cannot provide her. She has battled with this for a while and prayed for the feeling to leave her. The day before she told me our very close friend (For clarity he is gay, and we are all close friends since before my wife and I met. He introduced us) was in town and she shared with him her feels. He's very emotionally entuned with himself and his feels and was concerned why she didn't feel safe sharing this information with me first. Later she told me that she didn't what kind of affect this would cause our relationship. She loves her life but is also young and desires the feeling of a new emotional connection and that excitement. She has stated that she's 100% in love with me and doesn't want to lose what we have. (It's hard to explain to most but my wife and I have had several moments in our lives where we should have died but God has saved us) We fully trust one another and when she tells me she wants to keep the life we have but add in another layer of short term excitement. I must trust that is what she's asking for. We've never needed to lie, and I can tell she is being honest (It's still unclear the extent of excitement she's needing, and I feel that can be a slippery slope from dating to sex). She's informed me this is something she wants to experience while she is still young and very desirable. We get pregnant quickly and she was only 23, and now she wants to have that fresh feeling of dating (That's my understanding).
Initially, I took several breaths to fully understand what I was hearing my head started to pound as my blood pressure increase. I looked at the women that I married, the love of my life, mother of my beautiful boys, and the person I trusted above all others. I deeply felt the pain in my bones. What had I done to trigger this request. Was I inadequate to meet my wife's desire, what did I do to cause my wife to need someone else in her life. - The emotions alone could fill the pages. Primarily it was a feeling of sadness that I was not the man my wife thought I would be and that I could never be what she needed to be filled all the way up with happiness/desire.
After taking some time and learning more about what she was asking it was time for bed.
Day 2 - I didn't sleep well and woke up using all my might to get the boys ready for school and to head to work at 6:20AM. I felt as though I was an empty shell of a man walking around work. I spend the next three hours reading articles on understanding open/poly relationships to help me better understand how we could compromise and what I could do to save my marriage. I was having troubling finding if this was something I could allow myself to handle. I was imagining my wife out on a date with someone else while I was at home with the kids. We rarely get to spend time together without the kids and now some lucky man is out with my wife hearing her beautiful laugh and seeing her smile. Taking in the beauty she shares. I ended up leaving work early sick to my stomach and having trouble functioning. I went straight to the gym to help combating the heavy weight of anxiety for the future and depression tempting my memories of our relationships. The gym helped but I found myself spending time looking at perfect pictures of our family and the doom that was to come in the next few weeks or months.
That night we talked about ground rules and specifically what she was looking for. One major obstacle was that she thought she could get what she needs without having sex with someone else. This gave me immediate relief and made me feel better about my insecurities and fears. She told me maybe two dates ever six months would satisfy what she was needing. This would be equal to the number of dates we get to have with one another.
Day 3, 3/29/23- Another night with little sleep, but after a few hours I was down after taking some helpful sleeping medication to aid my racing thoughts. Again, waking up thinking I was in someone's life and this couldn't be happening to me and my family. I went to work and spilled the beans to the only person I could trust at work. A highly educated 30-year-old male that has a mother and sister doctors OBGYN and physiatrist. I couldn't hold in the pain any longer and had to talk. He looked me strait in the face and said, "I'm so sorry man". He knew for most people wife asking for an open relationship that the end was right around the corner. I took his statements in stride he didn't know what my wife and I had been through. We'd both lived lives that were filled with risks and near death experiences. We were previous IV drug users and should have died many times before (Many of our friend had). Our cornerstone of 5+ years in recovery was honest. We knew without that we were surely not going to stay sober. He later came back into my office mentioning he spoke with his mother and sister and let me know in most cases like these the partner has already cheated. This challenged all the work I put into understanding my wife request the last two days. This was a minor setback and I let him know right away I 100% trust my wife and when she told me she has not acted on the urges it's the truth no further explanation was needed. I did greatly appreciate him checking in on my and letting me know several people were praying for us. (I do not recommend talking with strangers this early. It clouded my thinking and understanding of my wife's communication. It also added doubt into the mix that did not need to be there)
I got ahold of our mutual friend who my wife originally opened up to. He was very understanding in my feeling and let me know the shock will wear off and to give myself time to process these emotions (He too told us he was in a working poly relationship and he would try to keep his insight as unbiased as possible). I let him know by trying to set up parameters/ground rules and making this possible was severally impacting my soul. I believe now this was a little catastrophizing of a statement as I'm working towards finding a way to keep our family together. God sent me two much needed signs this day.
The first one a gentleman who had been terminated from work this day was walking by saying farewell he didn't mention to me at that time it was his last day but he looked at me and asked what was wrong. Apparently, I was noticeably hurting. I didn't tell him the specifics but that I was having trouble at home. "He said trust in God always." That had a lot of meaning for me. It helped me to keep pushing on and to trust in God always.
The second sigh when I went to get my medication the pharmacist provided me a Narcan inhaler. This of course helps bring you back once you're overdosing from opiates. I have recently had a shoulder surgery and knew the most peaceful way to go would be to overdose. This was only a fleeting thought among millions I was wrestling with over the last three days, but it was a profound sign for me to keep fighting. Believe me I have so much to live for. This was just a short-lived fleeting thought but God still extinguished it right away. "Trust in God always."
My wife and I didn't have much time to talk today her father was in town and I wanted to mix things up. We got the small mini pool and slide out for the kids and set it up in the back yard spraying water on the kids and watching them play. It was fun and my wife and I made fajitas. Later that night just before bed I had a few questions I wanted to ask her and I let me emotions and fear get the best of me. I let her know that in this moment If she feels as though she should be dating someone else then she should, but that we will no longer be in a relationship. I shouldn't be so direct in a situation that's extremely volatile. My wife is wanting to communicate with me and assured me we have nothing we need to do right now and multiple times now she's mentioned "everything will be okay. We will be okay." I felt bad for telling her this, but it was how I truly felt in that moment.
That night I felt like I had done something wrong by telling my wife how I felt. I don't know how to navigate these emotions nor do I have experience with taking through delicate situations like this. This is the first big ticket item my wife and I have not been able to tackle together in a day or two.
Day 4, 3/30/23 - I'm looking for advice to help me understand the benefits of poly and how I can train myself to accept my wife's request and to find happiness in her happiness with someone else. I feel as though neither of us have the best delivery on information and I don't want to make her feel bad for coming out and sharing with me.
I know for myself I will have trouble dating other people. I get all I need from my wife. I do have fantasies about others, but I could never actually see myself doing anything sexually. Emotionally I would not be interested in an emotional connection I do not long for those feeling.
Thank you for reading I want the best for my family we truly love one another.
This is the first time I've shared online, and I think there is therapy in writing down my feeling and concerns. I hope this helps other to see that they're not alone and these things happen. I will fight for my wife and our children and do my best to find a way to make it work. If it doesn't work out, I will do my best to copartner with my wife and take care of our little ones. Life is short and my wife deserves to have the things she desires as do I.

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I live in a row of townhouses, ours is at the end of them. My GF and I have this feral(ish) cat that we've been leaving food out on our porch for around a year now, shes sweet with us, but real skittish around anything or anyone else. When its nice out she's waiting for us (Sleeping in our now defunct raised planter), or just hiding in the bush.
She's fixed, runs from other people on sight, and isn't aggressive or hissy at all, doesn't cause any problems.
​
Anyway; Our food bowls have gone missing 2 times, 3 bowls total, first was water & food bowls, last night was food bowl (water wasn't back out yet. This is over the course of like 10 days? a week?. My GF is too innocent and thinks it was the neighbors dog because he's run off with a food bowl before, we found it like 20 ft away. That dog hasn't been running around outside nearly as often, and the fact 2 got taken at once, one without any food in it even, has me suspecting our neighbors.
I wanna know opinions, I'm a cynic so I am immediately under the assumption my neighbors hate cats and saw her in the parking lot one night and got passive aggressive instead of reaching out to me.
Thoughts on the bowls going MIA, thoughts on process going forward? Tips? Sorry for ramble/vent.

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I wrapped up KOTOR 2 two weeks ago or so, and, the more I think on it, the more I come to believe the guy was kind of an asshole with a tendency to just manipulate everyone into doing whatever it is he wanted and sometimes maybe feeling bad about it.
(I didn't read the books, forewarning.)
Convincing Bastila to break her vows and 'betray' her beliefs just to abandon her making him lowkey evil aside, I feel most bad for Canderous. Like, maybe I'm looking at it the wrong way, but for me personally, his cutscene with Visas after defeating Nihilus makes him look... kind of pathetic.
"Revan told us the war we fought and lost our entire society in was a lie and we did it for somebody else's again, anyways then he told me to go build an army to fight his war and then left without explaining anything, that's why I've been in a jungle for years fighting everyday just to survive in my forties. Always follow orders, y'know?"
He sounds so miserable when he says that line, 'I always follow orders.' Revan even does the same shit to Carth, though that one isn't as bad.
He lies to the Rakata factions, probably lies to Malak, probably lies to the Exile and because of his actions horribly traumatizes her and creates a new host of Sith that nearly destroy the Republic while he's off gallivanting around doing who-knows-what. I'm sure he lied to all kinds of people when Malak and him were looking for the Star Maps too.
I like to imagine that, out of everything he took from Kreia's teachings, it's that they share the ability to manipulate people to get what they want without feeling bad about it.

23 (F), for some time I’ve struggled with people being nice to me. The way I would describe it, is it feels overwhelming (Heart beats faster, breathing faster) and I want to shoot myself when someone is kind to me. And it’s no joke I genuinely feel so dull afterwards… To clarify, I did suffer with depression from the age of 8 and it started to get better around age 20. I still have ‘Off days’ but it’s nowhere near the same of what it was. I was wondering if this is a normal feeling or if it’s a cause of trauma.

THIS IS ALOT, I'M SORRY.
So as a child and an adult. I saw, heard and sensed things that weren't there. I even would get images in my head of faces and scenarios. I always knew who was calling or if someone was at the door, before the knocked and could guess if it was someone close to the family or strangers, spam. If it was important, I was just labelled "a good guesser" (premonitions, apparently). I would tell my mom as a kid and as an adult, but she made me seem like I was crazy. Even going as far to put me in a psych ward because "it wasn't real". Here are a few real life examples
1) I saw shadow people as a child and spoke to them. I would tell my mom things, specific things about them and she told me they were imaginary
2) I would be yanked out of bed by my legs while sleeping. I would see and hear a girl who seemed to be from the late 1800s. She was one of the more vivid apparitions I saw. I remember the ribbons, and plaid puffy dress she wore with the lace trim at the bottom? I guess that's what I would say to describe it. Her hair was dirty blonde and her eyes I believe we're green. They definitely weren't brown., she had on white socks with the trim as well and buckle shoes and would laugh at me when she saw me, she looked no older than me. Maybe 8-10. Mind you I never saw anyone like this, the clothing or person. I had only seen about three white people in my life at that point. We didn't have tv for another few years, radios, yes. My town was small and filled with POC. My mom never believed me.
3) I saw a shadow child while walking my dog, it was around 10pm He was not there before and he laughed behind me. I jumped when I heard him. I turned around and said I didn't notice him. He said hello, I said hello and went back to walking, until I realized I didn't see his face. I thought I did, as I could've sworn I saw his face. I saw the short blonde hair, blue eyes and overalls he was wearing. I looked back quickly to see he was never there. It wasn't that dark that I couldn't see him clearly. It's like I saw his appearance through my head and saw nothing but shadows through my eyes. I told my mom again, she made it seem like nothing was real and I needed help.
4) I've woken up speaking different languages in my sleep. While she was there and I only know English. She made it seem like I was crazy. I've done it with my younger brother too. He never slept with after that experience. I woke screaming silently with my eyes rolled back and spoke to him in what he thought was Spanish.i stared at him, not through him or just forward, but my body shot up grabbed his arm very hard, looked directly at him, and spoke. I fell down afterwards in the bed and he ran out screaming. That entire experience at that house was strange and lasted a while. Things went missing. I had marks on my body I couldn't reach, doors, cabinets opened and closed in my house without touching. I heard my mom calling me for her not to be there. I actually heard people in the home. The dreams I had were terrifying. I wasn't eating and was terrified to sleep. She got me put on psych meds AND She called a pastor to come into the home? So did she believe me it not? I didn't like him at all in that instance. I'm not going to bore you with that, but I felt better after being with him for awhile. I still saw and heard things, but that experience was behind me. I told her the mess weren't working, all they did was make me gain weight.
5) I've had flashes in my mind of when and where I would find money, talk to someone or where something bad would happen. I've went near places and just had strong emotions come over me that told me to stay away. Once instance is an abandoned school where kids were killed in a shooting I think. We were riding by I was lost in my own thoughts and headphones until panic, anxiety and fear filled me out of nowhere. My heart was racing and I felt I was going to cry,, just pure hopelessness. I wanted run and hide in a closest or something. I don't know, I was scared. She asks me what is wrong. I said I don't feel good, next thing you know she looks over and says this is the school where those kids were murdered its so sad, then on my right I saw the unkept area and the abandoned school. My mom made me feel so insane for so long.
6) going into detail is a lot of work.im just trying to sum a few of these up. I've dealt with an incubus, I saw it as a small like goblin in the corner of my room before things actually happened. I started to believe my mom after awhile and I ignored these things. I saw a small goblin-shaped thing in the corner of my room and just tried to focus on my tv. Then I felt tingles all over my body feeling aroused and almost high. My body felt weak. I laid down on my bed and felt small footsteps on my bed like a cat. I felt like I was high, everything was blurry and just felt good. I then saw a man with beautiful pale soft features and long white hair. He looked like an "angel" he looked like he was glowing. He asked me could he have me. I felt bewitched this guy was amazing. I said yes and he pleasured me with his mouth and it was so good(fucking embarrassing) I passed out afterwards and woke up like I couldn't move. This kept on for like half a year, or abit more than a year. It was exhausting.
7) I've went to her job where she works with the elderly and told her I've seen people she would say maybe I need my meds increased. I've had OBE, and even dreamed of past lives although I can't really say they were past lives until I get proof, but thats what they felt like. They were vivid and made too much sense plus I felt the sensations. If you want to hear them I don't mind telling you, but i'm trying to get to my point.
It was after one dream that I stopped taking the meds and my mom was actually honest with me.i dreamt I was playing bingo and I went into the bathroom and as I was washing my hands I looked up to see a blue woman. She was like blue flames, her eyes were a hollow white, no pupils and she didn't wear clothes. She just looked to be a blue flame of a woman. I was terrified. I ran(spedwalked) out of the bathroom. Trying to calm myself, before I looked to my left and jumped because she was there. I was looking around in my dream, someone had to see her, but she told me. You are the only one who sees.me. She didn't open her mouth. She spoke into my head, her words echoed in my head. Her voice was something unique, different but beautiful. I couldn't describe it. She told me to stop running and embrace who I was as well as something else I cant remember. I looked at her eye to eye for the first time. She was so beautiful and different looking. Like if she had normal skin, eyes and hair. She'd be a gorgeous. I asked her who was she and she touched the center of my head between my eyes., I flinched, because I felt the pressure of her hands, but it wasn't hot or cold. Just the pressure. She said "I am apart of you, as you are of me." I told her I didn't understand. She ran one of her hands around my skull while the other stayed in between my eyes. She said " I live in your subconscious, we are one" then I woke up. I still heard her voice and saw her vividly. I even felt the pressure too. It was like her hand was still there.
When I called my mom to tell her the dream. She was honest, after 26 years of life. she told me the truth, that she saw those things as well. That her mom and my grandma died because of those visions and she said they were of the devil. My grandma killed herself and my great-grandma raised my mom. She said that she has been seeing things as a child and thought if she told me to ignore them or that they weren't real and I wouldn't see them as often, she said it's like things flocked to me. She was scared I would die like my grandma, so she lied. Every time I told her something new it would frighten her. We even saw or felt the same things.
She knew something was in each of the houses, she knew the old people I saw were real and some were people who had recently passed and didn't acknowledge it hoping it would go away. She wanted to convince me nothing was there and that I was crazy. She said she even sees them now, but only sometimes because she ignores them. At work she sees them and they are even in her car sometimes catching a ride, she can see them in the mirror. She even saw shadow people.She scarred me in the most major ways, instead of telling me why to ignore them. She had me drugged up and made to seem insane. You can believe me or not, but I just wanted to share this. When I moved out she would constantly ask me if im seeing things or having weird dreams, this was before this final conversation and me getting off of my meds. I told her no, but the truth is it never stopped, after having this conversation I do feel better, but at the same time betrayed. She is more honest with me regarding what she sees now. I think it lifted a weight off of her chest. I feel we are abit closer, but still the things I went through in the past can never be reversed. Thank you for reading, if you did

I want to preface this to say that I mean no disrespect to anyone in the LGBTQ+ community. I’m hoping to hear others thoughts here and to spark a discussion.
I have a 10 month old son who I have recently started taking to a baby gym class. During each class, there is a period of time for the babies to have free time to play on all of the equipment and for the parents to be able to talk to each other. Last week my son was playing near another baby so I started talking to the dad. His baby has a very gender neutral name (who, for the sake of the story, we will call Cilantro) and was wearing gender neutral clothing. Cilantros dad and I were making small talk and I asked “how old is Cilantro?” To which he responded “they’re 5 months but they were premature.” My initial thought was that Cilantro had a twin so I looked around, thinking perhaps I had overlooked the other one. When all I saw was little Cilantro sitting there, I realized hmm, maybe Cilantro is non-binary. 🤔
I questioned whether or not I heard Cilantro’s dad correctly but honestly didn’t think much more of it. We had another session of the class yesterday, and Cilantro was there with their mother this time. We went around in a circle and introduced our babies and said a new milestone that they’ve reached. When introducing them, she said “this is Cilantro and they have just started to try to crawl.” So it confirmed to me that this 5 month old baby is, in fact, non-binary.
Has anyone else seen something like this with a child this young? I live in California, where there is a large LGBTQ+ community and it is very accepted. Generally though, I haven’t met anyone who has made the choice for their child to be non-binary. I understand not wanting to put gender stereotypes on children, but it struck me as unusual to not use a babies gender. I wonder how this will affect Cilantro once they’re old enough to start to understand.
Thoughts?

Okay, so I love art museums, but I get scared of trying to talk with big crowds unless I know someone in the group. Since I go to the art museum near me a lot, what tips, strategies, advice, or examples could y'all give to help me understand how to approach someone and start a conversation? I would love to make some new friends at the museum but I don't really know how to do that when not in a forced situation ( like back in school where you have to interact with your classmates ). Thanks a bunch everyone!