Med men near me

I was diagnosed about a year ago and have been on Diamox 500mg twice a day. Recently I went into remission and have been weening off of the diamox. I’ve read a few articles/studies about CBD helping with IIH. I am planning to start taking CBD oil in another month or so, once I’m completely off the meds. I’m taking it to help with other things too, but I wanted to see if anyone has any experience taking CBD to help reduce or maintain pressure.
OBVIOUSLY I’m still going to talk to my ophthalmologist and neurologist about all of this before I do anything, but just looking to see if anyone had tried this!
(also, I have extreme health anxiety so try to keep it light for me please😂)

Hi y'all! I've got some issues with the bras that I've been wearing for the past 5 or 6 months.
At that time I did the ABraThatFits test and with my measurements given 34H/G US
Loose Underbust: 90cm Snug Underbust: 86cm Tight Underbust: 83cm Standing Bust: 105cm Leaning Bust: 108cm Laying Bust: 104cm
I recently remeasured myself and these are my current numbers.
Loose Underbust: 89cm Snug Underbust: 84cm Tight Underbust: 81cm Standing Bust: 106cm Leaning Bust: 109cm Laying Bust: 106cm
Which gave me 34H/I US
I think when I first measured myself I did the band too loose, but I have been sticking to 34 and they seem to be the most comfortable. 32 is slightly too tight while 36 is too loose.
Ok, onto the actual bras and their problems.
The first bra- the 34DDD Soma Smooth Balconette.
https://imgur.com/a/hRm9uip
This bra fits the best in terms of gathering my side tissue and pulling it front and cups not going too high causing wrinkled fabric due to lack of tissue. However, this bra, even with the right band size, falls around 1.5cm below my IMF, particularly in the inner thirds of my breasts. I have sketched in red where my IMF is and how the underwire can sit below it.
https://imgur.com/a/MLMw8Om
Because it continues to fall I don't experience much support and my gore doesn't tack. As I demonstrated in the photos, the gore, when tacked, quad boobs on the inner portion of my breast.
I think this bra is too small in the cups and not the right shape/gore height. What do you think?
Ok, next bra, 34G Soma Scoop Balconette
https://imgur.com/a/mm8GJA5
This one is....weird. It feels almost like a t-shirt bra with how wide the cups are and how high the top of the cups go. But I'll let others be the judge of that. It's my first unlined bra so I don't know how much of this is normal.
This bra wrinkles in the top outer areas, especially when I move. At first I wrote it off as my pendulous shape lacking upper tissue, but I also have this weird wrinkling on the inner gore area right at the underwire like it's being pulled taut. On top of these issues, the underwire and fabric goes too far into my armpit (another reason I feel like the cups are too wide/high like a t-shirt) and overall don't really feel like I'm getting any lift. My straps are nearly fully tightened and I still feel like I lack support.
The only good thing about this bra is the band is great and the gore tacks properly.
My take on this bra is that it's too big in the cups and/or the style doesn't fit my breast shape. But if the DDD is too small and the G is too big, im not sure what to go for.
I'm looking for lift and side support. I believe my root height is mostly middle of the road, or average. I'm ever so slightly more full on bottom when I lean over 90° but overall looks mostly even. I have slight inner fullness as well which makes my breasts splay out a little bit. Contrary to a previous post, (I have learned a lot since then- yay, growth), my roots aren't wide, rather more of an average to narrow end of the spectrum. I did the "press your boob to the right and find the line" test and it ends right where my armpit begins but not into it.
Any advice, thoughts on the fit, bra recommendations for me? Many thanks!

Yo yo yo, what's up everyone? After a long 3 and a half years with my ex, I'm back to the dating scene to finally find my gaming partner.
Me

• Physically: I'm 5'4". Saktong looks lang. 90% masc (haha, weird. Definitely not effem). Body wise, tumaba nung pandemic, but cutting weight real quick (thru diet, I suck at getting myself motivated to go to the gym). Was literally 82kgs last December, now nasa 75-ish na ata. My prepandemic clothes are now fitting me (successfully!)
• Tito manamit, plain lang, puro polo shirts and chino shorts / pants. Hahaha.
• I've been in the closet for a loooooooong ass time, but due to some 'marites' sa family, na-out na ko hahaha. But everyone around me is very supportive and I'm happy about it.
• Huge introvert.
• I'd like to think I'm financially stable. I work as a programmer for an AU based company. Fully remote.
• I live in Batangas, but literally near SLEX. I can get to Alabang in 30mins and Makati/Manda by 1 hour. I'm used to this travel because pre-pandemic, I work in Manda during weekdays and do the daily commute. (Plus my ex is from the Metro, so sanay talaga.)
• I'm a huge gamer. I have a gaming PC, a PS5, Switch, and a good gaming phone. If you're into any online games and want to have a Player 2, a Ka'duo', ka'Party'. I'm probably a good match
• By the point above, I'm not just a casual gamer, I'm a hardcore gamer. I play almost all genres (except Sports and Arcade). From rhythm, to RPGs, to Roguelikes to Souls. You name it.
• I also collect board games and table top games :) and my cousins and I did play Dungeons and Dragons once, but I DM'ed and realize it was a lot of work lol
• I'm a homebody. Not really a fan of travelling, pero I've travelled recently (for the first time lol), and it wasn't as bad as I thought so I wouldn't mind doing it some more.
• Road trips are fine for me, pero since I don't have a car, nakakapagod commute, but if you do have a car, then trip mo road trips, that's fine with me HAHAHA.
• Technically and legally, I have my own house, so we can crash to my room and just play PS5 or something else (?) the whole day, considering you're up to go to Batangas lol.
• Sa tingin ko matalino naman ako, consistent Dean's Lister ako nung college :P
• Ano pa ba, open book ako. So feel free to ask me a question through DMs.
• For sexual compatibility, historically bottom. Don't mind side. But I feel like I'm curious to try the other side din ;)

Looking for (You):

• Agewise, same age or older than me. No offense to younger guys, my past relationships have been younger guys and the amount of babying I had to do is tiring.
• Physically: Don't really care much about heights, you can be shorter or taller (as a lot of people are), than me. Body build, I don't mind if dadbod ka or may pagkachubby, just not super overweight (let's keep it at a healthy range naman). Looks? Sakto lang oks lang. Di naman ako sobrang gwapo, average lang ako, so who am I to judge haha. Just make sure that you look as presentable as you can and as clean as possible (not a fan of long messy hairs for example). I do prefer masc guys as well. As I said 90% masc ako, you don't have to be 100% full masc, just as long as you present yourself as one and see yourself as one, I guess lol.
• Plus points: Chinito (haha, lahat ata ito hanap), wears glasses (I like nerdy/geeky looks). And round ung face haha.
• Huge gamer (++++9999 points). Come on, I want to have a gaming room with my partner in the future.
• Financially, emotionally stable. Please, this is a must. Not only that, no problems sa family. Huge ++ if you are out to your family and friends.
• You have your own place where we can hang out. I understand not everyone has the capacity to go to Batangas, so as usual, ako na magaadjust haha.
• As I said, if you like to go on roadtrips, hopefully you have a car. (Nakakapagod lang commute, impyerno pa sa Pilipinas haha)
• Witty and can hold intellectual discussions.
• For sexual compatibility, as much as possible top.
• Not afraid to get tested (HIV tests -- I always get tested so I'm hoping you do too.)

If you like what you read, feel free to send a DM. I'll send a pic once you send yours. Vibe check here first on Reddit DMs and if you're good we can move out to TG/Viber then maybe move out to actual dates (gaming dates? ;))

I totally understand the attraction to men now. I was questioning wether not I’m attracted to a dude as thenwhole package or just what they had in their pants.
Oh My God.
Sexting as a man always made me comfortable and I basically never did it.
This felt so right and thrilling that I just went with the first thing that popped into my head..
Uhhhh I think I’m ready to try the real thing now???? This is scary???I hope there’s someone out there that wants to take me out. Soon.

So I put a post on here yesterday about refusing to go away for my MIL's 70th birthday when my 30th is 2 days before hers. Here is the update and wow even I can't believe these men. B1 is the eldest brother-in-law who is 42. B2 is the middle brother-in-law who is 39. H is my husband who is 36. S1 is the wife of B1 and is also 42. S2 is the wife of B2 and is 33. I am 30 in March 2024.
So a group chat was made - fun times. B1 is always acting in charge. He is the one who told me that my son had to call my MIL what his son calls her because his son is the eldest. His son is also a spoilt brat who picks on his younger cousins if he does not get his way.
So we start with suggestions. H suggests a day out - we both want to avoid a holiday - and a day out goes down well. Phew! Until picking the date proves to be an issue.
My 30th is two days before her 70th. H works shifts. I am a teacher. We have a 4 yr old. Can't do the weekend before due to H's work and mine. Can't do it the weekend after due to my work and prepping for summer term. Can't do it during the week due to my parents not being retired (they are in their early 50s). Can't do a Sunday due to H's work and he can't take annual leave due to it being Easter his job doesn't allow you to take time off near Bank Hols, Easter, Xmas, New Year, Halloween, or other celebrations due to staffing. As you can see I have thought hard about the date I wanted to do a birthday party and it came to the Saturday after my birthday which is the day of MIL's birthday. Also, it being BH weekend, I don't want to go to a theme place where every bugger will go too.
H explained that Saturday was the day of my party. Now in the past (we've been together almost 10 years) I have given up birthdays, cakes, shared cakes, or moved events for my birthday for my MIL. H doesn't want me to do it for my 30th. He wants me to have a party.
We told B1, B2, and the rest of the family about this and our reasoning for having the party on Saturday, and here is what we got called:
Manipulative C U N T Obstenant
I have been told that it is not my birthday so it doesn't matter. That I am being unreasonable. That we are not making considerations for anyone etc and just dealing with B1 and B2 having honest-to-God temper tantrums because they are not getting their way.
I sent them 9 reasons why it had to be that Saturday and their only argument for not moving the day out to Sunday was "But it is mummy's birthday on Saturday!!!" I even offered for her to have a cake at my party but I still got called a C U N T. Like it is BH weekend, everyone is going to be out that day, especially where B1 & B2 suggested. Sunday would be less hectic. I don't get why I have to move my birthday AGAIN when she has never had to move her birthday for me.
They even tried arguing that it was 70 years since she was squeezed out of Granny and I was like and it is 30 years since I was pulled out, what kind of argument is that?
I have to think about H's job, my job, and my still-working friends and family. I wasn't asking them to move it a week like they were. I was asking for a day! MIL would be more upset that 3 people were not there than moving it 1 day. Now she is going to have to deal with half the family not being invited to my party because why tf would I want people there who called me manipulative, obstinant, and a C U N T. IDGAF if you are "family" you are being rude.
S1 was tantruming with B1 and complaining about me. B2 was calling H and me names. S2 was quiet through it all but I know she was unhappy because when she first asked H and me if we wanted to go away for MIL 70th and I said no because of the last time and my 30th. So F them all. I hate in-laws.

A lot of what children like to do is cross boundaries, eat the caregiver's food etc. Because they have low self esteem, they need someone to make a sacrifice for them, to make them feel special and combat low self esteem.
This is exactly what breeders in relationships do. Not just men. It's either "wow she gave up 36 hours in painful labor, threw up for me for weeks, nearly died for me and now gives up her life and self care to care for my babies" orrr it's "he gave up his life and all finances, booked me a vaction so I can have a break, gave up his hobbies, self care and time to raise my babies and therefore meet my needs."
It's a sacrifice. "Someone loved me enough to make this huge sacrifice (which we will dress up nicely as "commitment to me"). It's a low self esteem fuelled power trip.

My SO and I tested positive a week ago. (Took a test because symptoms warranted.) He came down with horrible cough 5 days before me and had a fever for 4. He stayed in bed the whole week until his son was flying in from the airport. By then I had a fever, horrible cough, etc. He’s denied having COVID the whole time and said he had a “little cold”. Meanwhile, I cooked, cleaned, did all the laundry, etc. now he’s keeping me up all night hacking g, still laying on couch until he goes to get his son from a his oldest brother apartment where he stayed last night. He’s making plans with borh his sons to go to dinner (on my credit card) and bring them back here! Funny how men have “convenient” illnesses. Now I’m looking like the party pooper and I don’t think it’s safe for his son to be here yet, let alone us be going out to dinner. He doesn’t care if he tests positive ~ he’ll risk everyone else’s health just to be stubborn. He still maintains COVID is a conspiracy and so are the tests! 🙄 So he’s off in a bit to get his sons, go to dinner and come back here with the youngest! AITAH for not joining him and not hiding our illness from his 20 year old?

Hello! I’m a huge fan of taylor swift as innnnnnn looking for a guy bestie sana na swiftie rin like me para if ever na magkconcert si madam, TAYO NA....... ang pupunta together sa concert. Let’s follow each other rin sa spotify hihi need spotify friends din!💗
About me: - infp - dark and may good sense of humor - night owl, madalas mag all-nighter - busy sa med school pero may time sa’yo at kay taylor swift - pangarap ko maging extra sa greys anatomy - hobbies: reading, going to the gym, boxing, surfing, paragliding, skydiving - interests: films, kdrama, kpop, wendy stan - love language: words of affirmation - if looks and height matter: 5”, fair-skinned, mid-length hair, normal BMI, kung feeling generous ka 6 shoe size ko - 🌸
About you - 26-28 - dark humor - great conversationalist - geeky and nerdy - medyo clingy online and mabilis din magreply - mas matangkad sana sa akin - cute and brainy din sana like me - goal and family oriented - may respeto and knows boundaries - dog or cat person - 🌸
Friend reviews “Patulan niyo na best friend namin, sawa na kami sa kanya” “Siya yung tipong lilingunin pag dumaan”
PURELY SFW AND ONLINE ONLY FOR NOW.

I’m at my wit’s end and got very depressed due to my ongoing vaginal issue. Two years ago I got a really bad UTI (at least I thought) but I was travelling without an access to a doctor so I got my GP to send an online precription for some antibiotics and got some OTC stuff. Nothing helped but it just kinda went away in a month. However, even though peeing did not hurt anymore (would just sometimes be slightly uncomfy), for two years I have an irritated vagina and a lot of white discharge every single day. Sex really hurts so me and my partner stopped having it. I’ve been tested for STDs, UTIs, HPV, yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis and stuff many many times and they’ve been ruled out. They once found gardnerella vaginalis in my urine, I took some meds, after that the test came back negative but the symptoms remained. I then took antibiotics for two weeks (metronidazole) which also didn’t help. They also found some white blood cells in my swab but no infection associated with it. I’ve been taking and inserting probiotics, boric acid, put most possible ovules that are against infections and nothing has helped at all. Even though I can still live my life, this chronic issue has really brought me down and I start to think that maybe I’ll never resolve it. Any advice would be appreciated ❤️

I'm an exchange student who's been in Amsterdam for just about 2 months now but in the excitement and overwhelming nature of moving to Amsterdam, as well as the stress of coursework, I've forgotten to register with Gemeente Amsterdam as a resident. My appointment isn't until May 16 and by that time that will be me being in Amsterdam for nearly 4 months...I suspect I'm going to be in big trouble, and I've been getting a few anxiety moments because of it - does anyone have any similar experience? Feeling like such a useless dimwit right now for forgetting something so important 🙃🙃

Started 10 mg 3/2. Was nervous to start, but optimistic. I have ocd, anxiety and mild depression.
I felt hardly any side effects, a little sweaty and a little bit more amped up during the day. Slight sleep disturbance throughout the nights, but usually managed to fall back asleep.
3/22 I noticed I felt a bit panicky while relaxing. I ignored it. Went to bed, and woke up 3/23 in a full blown panic and impending doom. I was shaking, extremely nervous and had a very hard time going about my morning. I called my dr but no answer.
3/23 woke up the same. Barely slept. Called my dr numerous times. At this point I haven’t eaten in 24 hrs, I barely slept. My thoughts were racing and I couldn’t stop shaking. She finally called me back and told me to stop cold turkey. She prescribed me Xanax until Monday to get me through the weekend.
3/24 the same. Tossing and turning. Got 3 hrs of sleep. Racing thoughts. No appetite and no motivation. I’m just a ball on my couch all day feeling sick. Wait until evening to take the Xanax. Sleep from 10 pm to 1 am then 2:30 am to 5 am. Had to take another dose of Xanax at 1 am due to the panic.
3/25 woke up extremely anxious still. Slight racing thoughts but no where nearly as bad as that first day. Forcing myself to work today. I just want this to end. This will be day 3 no Prozac and honestly can’t wait to have it out of my system. This has been awful. This is day 4 of my bad side effects. There has to be a light soon, right?
My doctor has pulled me off and suggested cold turkey. Since I was on it only 3 weeks and at only 10 mg, she doesn’t believe withdrawal will happen. Obviously if I was on it longer or at a higher dose, she would have me taper.
The weird thing is, I was on it years ago and never had these side effects. It’s been awful. I do believe it’s activation syndrome, but for me it’s just not worth sticking out. This is a very scary experience. Also makes me question if I’m bipolar? Makes me feel almost manic.

My psych told me I can start reducing how much I’m taking & he will review in 2 months. What can I expect from the reduction? Any side effects? Mostly, can I be hopeful I’ll shed some of the weight from the med already or is that asking too much? Haha

I was diagnosed this year with iih and thankfully my first neurological doctor is amazing and ordered everything i needed. My MRI showed a partially empty sella and my MRV showed bilateral transverse stenoses. My eyes doctors have been of little use although i have had drastic changes in prescription. What brought me to her office was a very worrying incident. I had an increasing headache that felt like pressure and inflammation build up in my head and around the back of my head. I was taking every pain medication i could OTC to help but it kept me in what felt like a vice. It was waking me from my sleep and i started to feel jelly legs and shaky hands. I thought i had done something and would find out I hadn’t. Prior to this incident i had a build up of back tenderness and pain all along my spine especially in my neck and shoulders. My endurance began to decrease dramatically and i think because of these pains and weakness, i ended up pulling a back muscle 2-3 weeks prior just simply covering my feet with a blanket. I had been using increasing amounts of OTC pain meds for more then 10 years when i first heard the whooshing and spending more time in bed. As my headaches increased, my constant head pressure and brain fog increased and then my spinal irritation spread down my spine and stayed constant at my mid back between my shoulder blades. Along with this i felt like my speech changed in subtle ways. I felt like i was trying to do my job and connect with the world from under 5 feet of water. Within a short three years i was on anti heart arrhythmia, anti depressants and topiramate medication. Topiramate i think has been amazing for my headaches but you really need Diamox to help release the pressure causing all the other symptoms which DRAMATICALLY improved once starting diamox. I had a drop in my topiramate prescription due to changing MDs and my headaches were excruciating. I’m on a lower dose of both medication and one without the other i think just wouldn’t work for me. As for symptoms well, i would say I pushed through some nausea and constant sleeping when staring diamox. I was just way to desperate for my brain symptoms to stop to care about how i felt. I dont have symptoms now except a huge pee right after taking diamox and dry mouth if i dont drink enough water. Honestly, water can get nauseating so i flavor it a lot and tea is great. Make a gallon jug of tea and chug all day lol I also drink lemonade i make from concentrate because i think it helps prevent crystallization is the kidneys to prevent stones. My neurologist told me “well the biggest concern with iih is losing vision and since you dont have that its not serious”. It makes me so so sad that more doctors dont take seriously the affects these cascades of the inflammatory process can have on a persons body, well being, future and personality. The fact that many suffers can’t get treatment unless they are so late in the process of inflammation to have vision loss and MRI changes is scary. I really feel that current diagnosing criteria are all late stage process and needs to be changed.

California
I worked for this family for nearly a year as an aupair. They have a nanny who was morally harassing me during my free time. Whenever I wasn't working and she was, she found a way to shout or accuse me of something I didn't do. As I was a live-in, I had nowhere else to go. The family never helped me deal with this unhappy person, and still made me share a house with her on their uncountable trips. She used to left all her mess and filth for me to clean up. She used drugs and during her psychotic episodes, she took it out on me repeatedly.
I requested a rematch on a Friday, and they kicked me out of the house and never paid me for the week I worked. They also never reimbursed me for the car they made me rent in my name, for a trip that I had to cancel because they wanted me to work for them before the agreed period, and for food, which I had to pay for myself because the person in charge (the nanny) never bought food for me. I have proof of everything.
What can I legally do?
Edit:
The aupair agency that was supposed to be responsible for me has a local coordinator who did not help me find housing, threatened to call the police on me, and when I was leaving the house, she blocked the street with her car and filmed me without my consent, accusing me of theft, and wanted to see what I was taking from their house, which was just my belongings.

Pricing and Info
Hi there, I’m Sophie I’m an german femboy who would love to show off for you but without face♥️
As you saw on reddit I got a really fat 🍑 and If you it to be yours for a limited time this might be the perfect chance
Every single session I take part in and every person I spend time with is special to me. It thrills me when I can turn someone on in a split second or fulfill a sexy fantasy or provide some much deserved relaxation and release. I love creating a genuine connection with someone, even if just for one moment, it’s a huge reason why I wanna start this.
My times for are basicly like from 8pm to midnight sometimes a bit longer depends on my mood
If you read this whole thing you are fucking incredible and also can we please play.
Important info:
Limits ( face, striping, any toilet related, extreme pain, blood, voice).
I take PayPal in € or Amazon Gift Cards in €
Premium Snapchat: 30€ include my private Story nearly everyday content. 2 Joi a week and a free 🍆rating
Detailed 🍆Rating: 10€
Joi until you cum (max. 10min) without live Pics and Videos: 10€
Joi until you cum (max. 10min) with live Pics and Videos: 15€
Anal Session 15min(fingering): 25€
Anal Session 15min(dildo): 25€
If you wanna dominate me:
Controll my Clitty 15min Session: 20€
Controll my bussy 15min Session: 30€
Both Sessions combined 15min its: 35€
1 used thong: 30€
1 used pair of socks: 15€
1 used anal plug: 15€
1 used dildo: 25€
(Specific role play/ fetishes/outfits may be an additional fee, please tell me what you’d like before payment.)
Please DM me on Snap with the following info

1. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Session type (From the menu)
2. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Length of time
3. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Special requests if desired

♥️ Everyone deserves to relieve stress and treat themselves to a little something fun! Thanks for making me a part of your sexy self care. ♥️
If you're being rude or break any conduct I will immediately drop the conversation and not give you a refund

Can anyone help me with buying external lens
Reasons 1. I feel zoom in pixel 6a is not good 2. Can’t go near to subject during sight seeing

Bonjour à tous!
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La semaine prochaine, je serai à Liège pour rendre visite à ma copine qui y étudie. Elle aura des cours, donc pendant la journée je me promènerai toute seule. J'ai déjà été à Liège 2 fois et j'ai bien aimé, mais cette fois-ci je cherche des choses spécifiques :
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1 - C'est bientôt l'anniversaire de ma mère et elle adore le thé. Pouvez-vous me conseiller des salons de thé à Liège pour que je lui apporte quelque chose ?
​
2 - J'ai une collection de CD et j'aime visiter des magasins de CD d'occasion lorsque je suis dans d'autres villes. Pouvez-vous m'en recommander à Liège ?
​
3 - Enfin, j'adore prendre le train et je pensais me rendre dans un bel endroit en train pour y passer une matinée ou un après-midi, photographier et revenir à Liège. Surtout s'il s'agit d'endroits plus petits et moins connus. Vous en recommandez ?
​
Merci beaucoup d'avance et je m'excuse s'il y a des fautes de français!

There was a massively promoted marketing campaign for WA about a month ago here in the UK, usually phrased as wanting to "steal" British workers. Brilliant. I'm a nurse, looking to move to WA.
I attended one of the WA government's jobs faires (two men with a small table of laminated postcards) who had no direct advice for nursing other than to contact job postings on jobs.health.wa.gov.au to ask if they offer sponsorship.
All postings I've seen state that "Australian citizenship or permanent residency is an essential requirement for applicants to be considered for permanent positions in the public sector."
Which is confusing.
Now, I have no contacts in Australia, and know nobody with any experiences of moving there. But this must be a solvable problem. I know that plenty of UK nurses have made the move, it just doesn't seem clear to me how.
If anyone knows how, or knows someone who knows how, or just if someone is looking to steal a British nurse themselves for their own nefarious purposes, I'd love to hear about it.

We lost our beautiful boy Jónsi just over two weeks ago. He was a young dog (only 2.5 years old) and it was very unexpected. I am really struggling with a lot of things - feeling robbed of our life together, all the reminders in our house, the loss of our routines, the weight of having to decide that euthanasia was our least worst choice and make those arrangements...
But one of the things I'm having such a hard time with is that I'm 28 weeks pregnant with our first baby and now suddenly my family isn't the shape I'd thought it was going to be. He's never going to meet our little girl, she's never going to know the dog she was meant to grow up with. We're never going to stress about him barking while she naps, or her throwing food off her high chair too a dog on a restricted diet. I'm not going to spend the first few weeks of my maternity leave (my work requires me to be on leave a few weeks before birth) tucked up on the couch with him snuggled in beside me while I finish crocheting the baby blanket I'm making for her while we wait for her to arrive.
I am so sad all the time. I cry a lot. I can't focus on the things we need to do to get ready for baby. I was so excited for this next phase of life and now everything feels so grey. I was already worried about post-partum mental health and now I feel like I'll be starting from such a place of deficit.
We have another dog, she's nearly 6. She's a great comfort and still having a dog here is helping me immensely. She's missing him though, and we can't imagine being a single dog household for long. But everything I'm reading says not to consider bringing home a new dog (particularly not a puppy) before baby is born, or when you have a newborn, or a toddler. To wait until your child is 3-5. Our dog will be at least 9 by then! There's a breeder with a really lovely sounding slightly older pup looking for a home at the moment, and part of me wants to bring her home right now, and part of me knows that's a crazy idea. And I get upset because people on the parenting subreddits also say that all your feelings about your dogs change when you bring your baby home and that the dogs won't get the attention they need and I don't want that to be how it is.
I don't want to rush into things and we'd only bring home a dog that's the right fit for us, but I'm so sad about feeling like we won't be able to get another dog in the foreseeable future. And then I'm so angry with the world because we tried so hard to time things so that we would have young, but settled adult dogs by the time our first baby came along. And that's just gone now, and it's so unfair. And I don't want to be looking for a new dog that's the right fit for what will probably be a chaotic home with a small child, I want our sweet snuggly boy to be here.
He was meant to be here. Our next big challenge was meant to be working out how we all lived new baby life together. Now instead we're trying to work out how we do life without him.