3… 2.. 1.
OPENER below.

The ouija board sat in the center of the coffee table, the letters and numbers written in black ink on a wooden surface. The flickering light from the candles cast an eerie glow on the room, making the shadows dance along the poster littered walls.
Tessa sat with Bridget and Amelia, her fingers lightly resting on the wooden planchette. They had all heard the stories about the dangers of playing with an ouija board, but they had laughed them off, thinking it was just superstition.
As they began to ask questions, the planchette moved slowly, almost imperceptibly. At first, they thought it was just their imaginations, but the movements became more pronounced. The entity they were speaking to did not identify itself, and with each passing answer, the girls became increasingly frightened.
Bridget was the first to notice that the temperature in the room had dropped. She looked around, seeing tiny droplets of condensation forming on the windows. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew through the room, extinguishing the candles and leaving them in complete darkness.
Suddenly, Tessa felt a hand grab her wrist, squeezing it tightly. She let out a scream, realizing that it wasn't Amelia's or Bridget's hand. She tugged, trying to break free. For a brief moment, the entity and her locked eyes, reflecting the same type of consuming darkness. The moment was fleeting, but it left Tessa expelling the air from her lungs.
At that moment, something happened, and he released her only to use each hand to grab Bridget and Amelia. He tightened his grip, sending shooting pain up their arms.
Frantically, the girls tried to break the connection, but he was too strong. They were trapped, helpless to escape his grasp. Then the lights cut off. Silence filled the room.
Breaking through the silence, Bridget starts to cry, "Run..." That was all Tessa needed to hear to pull herself from the ground and head to the only direction she thought to escape.
Tessa stumbled through the night, finding her way out of the dorm building, tears streaming down her face as she tried to understand what had just happened.
Every breath felt like fire in her lungs as she ran outside into the darkness. She could hear the wind howling through the trees and the sound of her own ragged breathing.
Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder and spun around in terror. But it was only a security guard, one of the ones who worked at the dorms. He looked concerned as he saw her tears and asked her what was wrong.
Tessa tried to but couldn't explain.
" I... I just got spooked when all the lights cut off... I.." she fumbled with her words, but eventually, she formulated enough of a sentence to justify her demeanor.
The security guard looked at her skeptically, but something in Tessa's eyes must have convinced him. He asked her if she needed to be walked to her car, the direction she was heading before she was stopped.
Tessa waited anxiously, her heart pounding in her chest. It took all but a split second before she shook her head.
"No, I think..erm-- I'll be fine," she concluded, solidifying her fib with a confident smirk.
As Tessa pushed forward off her heels, her thoughts drifted to that dorm room. What had happened to Bridget and Amelia? Had they run too?
Tessa returned to her hotel room after just a 1-mile walk from the campus. That long mile left her head spinning in every direction until she was ultimately hollow.
It was midnight by the time she reached her single room's threshold. There was no time wasted. Tessa kicked off her shoes and flung herself on the bed. Her eyes close tightly shut, neglecting to even use a once of strength to cover herself. She welcomes the darkness as she drifts to sleep.

ABOUT TESSA ( My Character)
Tessa, formally known as Theresa Louise Logan, was a nineteen-year-old, bright, and promising talent at Julliard, dazzling her professors. However, the pressure of being a student proved too much for her. That and also, Georgina Logan, Mother, and the self-proclaimed manager, was pulling Tessa too thin.
Juilliard was a full-time commitment. Tessa knew this. However, Georgina had other plans. She had commercials and modeling on the weekend. The occasional private dance performances are usually requested by New York's top 3%--not quite making it to the top 1. Instead, they pretend. The performances always made her feel cheap, but if Georgina asked...Tessa delivered.
This road eventually led to her dropping out. Though still determined to pursue her passion, she landed a spot at the Northern Pacific Dance Company in Dover, New Hampshire. For a moment, Tessa found a renewed sense of purpose, but her stage mother followed closely behind, dimming any hope that once flickered in her eyes.
Tessa resembled her mother. She was a thin, petite girl with a delicate face framed by soft strands of honey-blonde hair and brown eyes that probably used to sparkle. Now they were filled with a mix of unyielding sorrow and vulnerability. }

STORY Info
Hey there! I'm Sunflower, a nickname I was given, and it has become an alias.
I am a 31F // EST US // Married with a Family NOT looking for boyfriends.
I have had a decade's worth of experience role-playing. I have been on hiatus, I got pretty sick there for a minute, but I have returned. As you (hopefully) read in my opener, I would consider myself an "Literatate"... I try putting thought and detail into every scene.
All of my characters are usually broken girls that have the potential to be some dark goddess. What does that even mean? In romance novel terms, I would teeter on the edge of Sub/Brat with a heavy amount of sass and sarcasm. They are typically far from sane and have flexible morals. They are flawed and beautifully addicting.
As for what I am looking for, I would prefer my partner to be able to mostly match me in literacy. I will always prefer quality over quantity.
I was thinking of a cat/mouse, romantic, slow-burn, modern fantasy with a "Dark Alpha Male" type for this particular plot idea! My character would be human and your character we can discuss! If you hate my idea, I am always open to other ideas.
I favor plot over adult scenes, but you can expect some NSFW scenes, especially for this particular idea. The mix would be about 80/20 in favor of the plot.
My requirements are:
-Must be 25+ (Sorry) -Must write in 3rd/Past Tense -Must not be a creep -Open to communicate -Discord preferred but not a hard limit. -Please bring ideas or at least contribute -Can write a solid 3-4 paragraphs considering. -Lastly, Be Kind. :)
I can typically type a well-thought-out post like this 3x per week-- I do have a demanding job. We can also play in discord if you would like, but I prefer to chat on Reddit before hand and discuss your thoughts and see if we are a good mix.
Anywho, you can send me a chat message if you fit the criteria and are interested in potentially being partners!
Sorry for the lengthy prompt, but I do hope you enjoy it! Also, give me some time to answer because I am typically in and out throughout the day. Also, anxiety.
-S

My boyfriend (32m) and I (26f) had an argument about his alcohol intake and I'm not sure which of us is right.
So BF will have a bunch of friends over every month-ish and they basically drink non-stop from Friday night till Sunday morning. This includes drinking at dinner, drinking at brunch, drinking throughout the afternoon and then conducting heavy-drinking games like Pong before going out to bars and drinking more. Altogether, most of them are averaging about two drinks an hour with small breaks throughout the day. (Although it's important to note that Saturday nights are higher consumption.)
Now, BF has told me it bothers him that I do not hang out with all of his friends when they come to visit. I told him that it is uncomfortable to be there when everyone is drinking so much. (I have had a few drinks here and there when I attend, but have recently stopped because some of them will drive while drinking and I prefer to be a sober DD so everyone stays safe. BF never drives while drinking.)
His inability to understand that this is unhealthy and that several of his friends are functioning alcoholics makes me question his own ability to maintain a healthy relationship with alcohol. I'm at a loss, because this is really the only thing "wrong" in our relationship. Otherwise, he's a great guy and we've been together for a year.
Advice?
TLDR: Boyfriend drinks excessively and doesn't see the problem. I am uncomfortable and don't know how to proceed.

I've posted this before in an ASOIAF-themed discord but never got around to it here. I apologize for the length, but there are a lot of instances throughout the series I want to highlight to help support my case.
If you've seen any of my previous posts or comments (hard to say because I comment/post irregularly nowadays), I believe the motivation behind both the White Walkers and Rhllor is to make respective agreements with powerful humans (Kings or equivalent) in exchange for sacrifices to help them breed.
One big question is: what is "Rhllor" or The Great Other, or The Others in general? I believe Martin has been telling us in plain sight this whole time. They are factions of shadow-like beings. There are numerous examples in the text that point to and foreshadow this.
“ICE” SHADOWS
White Walkers are described as white shadows.

Will saw movement from the corner of his eye. Pale shapes gliding through the wood. He turned his head, glimpsed a white shadow in the darkness. - AGOT, PrologueA shadow emerged from the dark of the wood. It stood in front of Royce. Tall, it was, and gaunt and hard as old bones, with flesh pale as milk. Its armor seemed to change color as it moved; - AGOT, Prologue
"We have white shadows in the woods and unquiet dead stalking our halls, and a boy sits the Iron Throne," he said in disgust. - Jeor Mormont, AGOT JON VIII
"What gods?" Jon was remembering that they'd seen no boys in Craster's Keep, nor men either, save Craster himself. "The cold gods," she said. "The ones in the night. The white shadows." - Gilly to Jon, ACOK Jon III
The horn blew thrice long, three long blasts means Others. The white walkers of the wood, the cold shadows, the monsters of the tales that made him squeak and tremble as a boy. - Samwell I, ASOS
"Come with me," said Sam. "Maester Aemon's woken up and wants to hear about these dragons. He's talking about bleeding stars and white shadows and dreams and . . . if we could find out more about these dragons, it might help give him ease. Help me." Sam to Daeron, AFFC Samwell III

“FIRE” SHADOWS
Asshai is literally called Asshai-By-The-Shadow, and Illyrio says dragon eggs originate there.

"Dragon's eggs, from the Shadow Lands beyond Asshai," said Magister Illyrio. - AGOT, Daenerys.

Mirri Max Durr says her teacher was a bloodmage from the shadow. She uses shadows to “heal Drogo” aka pretty much steal his soul and birth dragons.

Mirri Maz Duur's voice rose to a high, ululating wail that sent a shiver down Dany's back. Some of the Dothraki began to mutter and back away. The tent was aglow with the light of braziers within. Through the blood-spattered sandsilk, she glimpsed shadows moving. - AGOT, Daenerys VIII
…The breath went out of her; it was all she could do to gasp. The sound of Mirri Maz Duur's voice was like a funeral dirge. Inside the tent, the shadows whirled. - AGOT, Daenerys VIII
…She glimpsed the shadow of a great wolf, and another like a man wreathed in flames. - AGOT, Daenerys VIII
"Only shadows," Ser Jorah husked, but Dany could hear the doubt in his voice. "I saw, maegi. I saw you, alone, dancing with the shadows." - AGOT, Daenerys IX

Rhllor in the ACOK Prologue is referred to twice as “The God of Flame and Shadow”

"I will speak her name," Cressen told his stone hellhound. "Melisandre. Her." Melisandre of Asshai, sorceress, shadowbinder, and priestess to R'hllor, the Lord of Light, the Heart of Fire, the God of Flame and Shadow. - ACOK, Prologue
"He has an ally," Lady Selyse said. "R'hllor, the Lord of Light, the Heart of Fire, the God of Flame and Shadow." - ACOK, Prologue

Mel Kills Renly using a shadow. Catelyn witnesses it.

She thought she glimpsed movement, but when she turned her head, it was only the king's shadow shifting against the silken walls. She heard Renly begin a jest, his shadow moving, lifting its sword, black on green, candles guttering, shivering, something was queer, wrong, and then she saw Renly's sword still in its scabbard, sheathed still, but the shadowsword . . . "Cold," said Renly in a small puzzled voice, a heartbeat before the steel of his gorget parted like cheesecloth beneath the shadow of a blade that was not there.” - ACOK, Catelyn IV
The shadow. Something dark and evil had happened here, she knew, something that she could not begin to understand. Renly never cast that shadow. Death came in that door and blew the life out of him as swift as the wind snuffed out his candles. - ACOK, Catelyn IV
"I do not know. Sorcery, some dark magic, there was a shadow, a shadow." Her own voice sounded wild and crazed to her, but the words poured out in a rush as the blades continued to clash behind her. "A shadow with a sword, I swear it, I saw….” ACOK, Catelyn IV

Quaithe is considered a “shadowbinder” (as is Mel) and called a spawn of shadows by the Dothraki. What is a “shadowbinder” if not someone who binds themselves to shadows and has relations with them?

The woman stepped closer and lay two fingers on Dany's wrist. "You are the Mother of Dragons, are you not?"
"She is, and no spawn of shadows may touch her." Jhogo brushed Quaithe's fingers away with the handle of his whip. - ACOK, Daenerys III

Mel talks about the spells on Storm’s End keeping shadows out… sounds a lot like a huge, massive Wall up north that has spells to keep white shadows out.

"There was no need," she said. "He was unprotected. But here . . . this Storm's End is an old place. There are spells woven into the stones. Dark walls that no shadow can pass—ancient, forgotten, yet still in place."
"Shadow?" Davos felt his flesh prickling. "A shadow is a thing of darkness."
"You are more ignorant than a child, ser knight. There are no shadows in the dark. Shadows are the servants of light, the children of fire. The brightest flame casts the darkest shadows." ACOK, Davos II
"Is the brave Ser Onions so frightened of a passing shadow? Take heart, then. Shadows only live when given birth by light, and the king's fires burn so low I dare not draw off any more to make another son. It might well kill him." Melisandre moved closer. ASOS, Davos III

GENERAL SHADOW STATEMENTS
Patchface has prophetic visions. This one, if this theory is correct, is extremely prophetic and could hang over the whole series.

"Clever bird, clever man, clever clever fool," said Patchface, jangling. "Oh, clever clever clever fool." He began to sing. "The shadows come to dance, my lord, dance my lord, dance my lord," he sang, hopping from one foot to the other and back again. "The shadows come to stay, my lord, stay my lord, stay my lord." He jerked his head with each word, the bells in his antlers sending up a clangor. - ACOK, Prologue

An ominous line by Varys

"So power is a mummer's trick?" "A shadow on the wall," Varys murmured, "yet shadows can kill. And ofttimes a very small man can cast a very large shadow." - ACOK, Tyrion II

People discount Mel’s purpose, but what if she’s right? Her means might be misguided, but this may be the real war of the whole series.

"The war," she affirmed. "There are two, Onion Knight. Not seven, not one, not a hundred or a thousand. Two! Do you think I crossed half the world to put yet another vain king on yet another empty throne? The war has been waged since time began, and before it is done, all men must choose where they will stand. On one side is R'hllor, the Lord of Light, the Heart of Fire, the God of Flame and Shadow. Against him stands the Great Other whose name may not be spoken, the Lord of Darkness, the Soul of Ice, the God of Night and Terror. Ours is not a choice between Baratheon and Lannister, between Greyjoy and Stark. It is death we choose, or life. Darkness, or light."

AFFC Prologue

"Dragons and darker things," said Leo. "The grey sheep have closed their eyes, but the mastiff sees the truth. Old powers waken. Shadows stir. An age of wonder and terror will soon be upon us, an age for gods and heroes." He stretched, smiling his lazy smile. "That's worth a round, I'd say." - Lazy Leo, AFFC Prologue

Mel’s ADWD POV

"The Lord of Light in his wisdom made us male and female, two parts of a greater whole. In our joining there is power. Power to make life. Power to make light. Power to cast shadows." - Mel to Jon, ADWD Jon VI
My spells should suffice. She was stronger at the Wall, stronger even than in Asshai. Her every word and gesture was more potent, and she could do things that she had never done before. Such shadows as I bring forth here will be terrible, and no creature of the dark will stand before them. With such sorceries at her command… - Mel I, ADWD

TL:DR: The overarching conflict of the entire series is between two literal shadow factions, one residing in the deep north (White Walkers) and in the deep south (Rhllor). These two races of beings are pulling the strings like puppet masters and try to bend our trusty characters to their will using dreams, sorceries, and power.

So, me (25M) and my ex J (25F) have a daughter (6F) together. I have custody and she has visitations every other weekends. We both have moved on from our relationship years ago. I have a fiancee (23F), we have been together for 3 1/2 years and J has had many boyfriends in the last 5 years since we separated. I say all of that so that it doesn't seem like my dilemma comes from a place of jealousy or anything like that.
For the last 2 months, J has been dating a guy who's job make him travel a lot (he goes all around Canada from Wednesday to Sunday and is home Monday and Tuesday). He has a daughter who is 3years old and J has been living in his house and caring for his kid while he works. The little one goes to her mom 2/3 weekends but is with J every day of the week.
Well, last weekend J had both of the girls with her, when I went to pick up my daughter, she told me they had a visitor during the weekend. I was intrigued so I asked who it was. Turns out, she had her ex bf come over for the night. They apparently slept together on the couch because he needed to see/ talk to someone.
I was shocked. She invited her ex to spend the night in her new bf's house, introduced him to the bf's daughter and had him stay the night while her partner was 8 hours away working for the both of us( she has stopped working since moving with him).
I kinda want to at least give some hints to her bf as to what happened but my fiancee feels like it none of our business and it's their thing to figure out. She says I would be an AH to go and try to ruin her relationship for something we have no proof of. I feel like it was absolutely inappropriate of her to invite him the weekend she had our daughter in her care. Especially since she was with him for about 2 years and my daughter really liked him so seeing him after 2 years without even hearing about him in this period was very confusing for her.
WIBTA for telling him?

Hello friends, my group is starting a new D&D 3.5 campaign is a couple of weeks. Most likely, we will be playing on Sunday nights. Most likely starting at 1st level. Message me if you are interested in playing.

This is a case, where everyone basically knows who the prime suspect is, but due to the lack of available evidence, there seems to be little anyone can do.
She has been missing since the early hours of Monday 9th February, 1998.
Fiona was from Bridgetown, in County Wexford. She had been in a relationship with an older man, and they moved in together.
Going by what I've read, there were hints of domestic violence, and a general unhappiness in the relationship.
When Fiona had a baby girl, called Emma, the situation didn't change, and she ended the relationship, but her ex boyfriend and his family had access to the child, and babysitted on occasion.
On the night of her disappearance (Sunday 8th February, 1998), she met with friends in Butlers pub in Broadway, County Wexford.
That evening, she noticed her ex boyfriend in the same bar.
She phoned her parents house, asking one of her brothers to come down, without explaining why.
Going by what I've read in a book, one of her friends asked Fionas ex boyfriend to walk her home, her house she was renting at the time, being roughly 20 - 25 minutes walk from the bar.
When she left it, that was the last time she was seen alive by anyone else.
Her ex boyfriend claimed that he slept on her sofa that night, and got up in the morning, gave her some money for a taxi to go to the doctors, as she was complaining of pain in her arm.
Because this was the late 1990s and the lack of access to mobile phones and the like, no one raised any alarm initially, her family not realising for nearly a week that she was missing.
When the Gardai examined her house, it seemed that the house had been cleaned of any trace of her, as none of her possessions were there.
A local farmer had found bin bags dumped in his field, and burned them.
Some of the correspondence in those bags had Fionas details on them, but because they related to an address ( her old address) in Wexford Town, he didn't link anything.
There have been numerous searches over the years in the local area, but no remains have been found.
There was one story that someone who had been involved took their own life.
There was gossip, seen something in the tabloids that the suspect may have lived in Spain and the Middle East, nothing more was elaborated on that.
https://m.sundayworld.com/news/irish-news/gardai-say-people-know-what-happened-to-fiona-sinnott-last-seen-25-years-ago-today/1754438002.html
https://m.independent.ie/regionals/enniscorthyguardian/news/missing-fionas-former-boyfriend-wins-appeal-27224662.html
https://wexfordhub.com/disappearance-fiona-sinnott/
The books Missing, Presumed, by Alan Bailey and Missing Without Trace by Barry Cummins

So I had sex on Saturday night with spermicide gel. the kind you get from the store. I had just entered my fertile window with predicted ovulation being today. I only use LH tests, symptoms, and cervical mucus to track ovulation. Things happened and he ended up not withdrawing (it was mutual). Afterwards I felt pretty worried because I know spermicide alone isn't very effective. So on Sunday afternoon I took plan B. I felt okay Sunday. Monday and Tuesday I was just fatigued and some headache. yesterday and today I've been nauseous. im guessing it's all still from the hormones in the pill. the thing is, my LH test strips keep getting darker and with today having been my predicted day of ovulation, my LH test strip is now positive and I am having ovulation pains in my typical ovary. I'm not having EWCM though. Does the plan b only work if you haven't entered your fertile window yet? I thought it delayed the DAY of ovulation, not the peak. also, are these side effects normal days after taking the pill?

I provide tutoring services online. I have this one "regular" student who speaks English fairly well, but with difficulty. (which is what I'm tutoring her for) so I understand that sometimes there can be some confusion. The thing is, she's terrible when it comes to booking appointments.
For context:

• This website I use (which I will not name for privacy reasons) only allows students to book appointments, not the tutors.
• When students schedule a lesson with me, they can see my available days and hours both before and after they purchase a lesson.
• To book an appointment, you have to purchase the lesson first, and then you can select the date and time as early as 60 days in advance.
• My hours are Thursdays from 5-9 PM, Fridays from 3-9 PM, and weekends from 12-9 PM. I have my hours set so that students have to book at least 1 hour in advance, or the timeslot becomes unavailable. (I’m thinking about setting this to 2 hours, but I want to give students all the time they need before booking)
• It’s a first-come, first-served system.
• This particular student is located in the same timezone as I am (EST), so time conversion was never an issue.
• She has booked several lessons with me before, so she already knows the process of how to book appointments on this website.

Whenever this student wants to book a lesson, she will message me on the website a few days in advance to check what time works for me (even though my schedule is available online, but it’s not an issue), and then she’ll tell me what date and time works for her. She’ll then purchase a lesson, but she never books the appointment until the day of, often close to one hour before the time she wants. Sometimes, however, she either forgets to book the appointment, or she books it on a completely different date or time than she said she was going to. Then she’ll get upset when she has an assignment due soon and I’m not available to help her.
Over the weekend, this student told me she wanted to schedule an appointment on Sunday. I told her to pick a date and time she wanted, and that I would see her then. The date and time came and passed, but she never booked the appointment. As I’m getting ready for bed, I get a notification from this student asking me to help her with her homework. The messages read as follows:
(10:53 PM) "I will be free after 8 at night"
(10:53 PM) "because you're not free (during the) day"
(10:54 PM) "can you do (it) at night since you're at class in the day"
(10:54 PM) "please I have to submit my homework"
I remind the student that the next time I am available is on Thursday. from 5-9 PM. I then specified to her when my available hours were, and then I reminded her that she needed to book the appointment at least 1 hour before. If she wants to book an appointment, she has to look at my schedule and book it as soon as possible.
Today, she messaged me asking if I was available today at 4:30—even though my schedule says 5-9 PM on Thursdays—because she has class at 6 tonight. I would have said no since I get out of my last class at 4, and I like to have a good solid hour afterward to eat dinner and catch up on whatever work needs to be done, but it’s only an extra half-hour of my time, so just this once, I allowed it. However, I feel like she’s going to do this again even though I already laid the ground rules for scheduling appointments. Am I just not making myself clear enough to her? Do I need to make more of an effort to communicate with her? What steps should I take to keep this from continuing?

Life, for most, was a series of ups and downs. You fail your test but then your mom makes your favorite dish for dinner. You lose the big game for your team, but then you make a major breakthrough in the spell you've been practicing for weeks. You drop your ice cream, but find some cash in your pocket you didn't remember leaving there.
The girl you've been fawning over for weeks tickles your tonsils with her tongue, but then you're cut in half and enslaved by your nation's mortal enemy.
Yeah, my life was different, there was no doubt about that at all. But the lowest lows made even the slightest highs feel so much higher. Something as simple as eating a hot meal was the height of life when you had been living on crackers, stale bread, and nearly century-old dried meat.
We failed to notice that everyone in the restaurant was staring at us as we wolfed down plate after plate. The juices; the flavors; the tenderness of the meat; the softness of the hot bread smothered in butter. I couldn't stop smiling as I ate.
"You gotta try this," Tovin said breathlessly between bites as he passed me a bowl containing what looked like some kind of wet, shredded, colorful salad. I swallowed the big bite of steak I had been chewing and quickly put a spoonful of the mystery dish in my mouth. It was heaven on earth.
"Holy smokes, what is this?" I asked.
"I think it's the coleslaw, give it back," he said, pulling the bowl right out of my hand. I turned and looked at the dumbfounded waiter standing next to our table, and smiled. "More coleslaw, please! And ribs, I'm outta ribs! And a refill on... what was this called?"
He stared wide-eyed at my plate and then shook his head as though clearing his mind. "Uhh, I believe you were having the peach lemonade, sir."
"That!" I pointed my fork at him before turning back to the assortment of delicacies splayed out before me. I wasn't sure if it was because I hadn't had a proper meal in weeks, or if it was just that the empire knew how to eat, but it was the best food I had ever tasted in my life.
"So good," Tovin said in such a way that I had to check and make sure he wasn't crying.
After eating all that we wanted and all that we could, the two of us just sat slouched in our chairs with bulging stomachs. I lifted my hand shakily toward the last rib on my plate, but let it fall to my side as I closed my eyes and accepted defeat. The will was there but the room in my stomach wasn't.
"My goodness, sirs," said the waiter. "You hunters sure can eat."
I looked up at him with a satisfied grin, "Hard work always makes a meal so much better. Know what I'm saying?"
"Can't argue with that," said the waiter as he folded his hands. "But... if I may, could I politely ask you to pay your bill? I mean no offense, but you and your friend have a..." he cleared his throat. "Musk about you."
I looked at Tovin and then at myself, and then at all the empty tables around us. We were still covered in the calraven's dried wing gunk. I had to have gone completely nose-blind to it. Now the faces everyone had been making at us made a lot more sense. I looked down to see that it had been flaking off of us and onto the restaurant floor.
"Oh man, I'm so sorry," I apologized.
"No!" said the man, holding his hands out. "It was an honor to serve the hunters keeping our cities safe, don't take me the wrong way. It would be our pleasure to serve you again, but it's about to be 5'o clock and our dinner rush will be starting soon."
I suddenly remembered something I had completely forgotten. I looked up at the man, "Excuse me, do you have a pencil?"
"Certainly," he answered, pulling one from his apron and setting it down on the checkered tablecloth. "Your bill will be 22 octims."
"That's so much," Tovin groaned, not bothering to lift his head or open his eyes. He wasn't wrong, but we had ordered almost everything on the menu. I wasn't completely certain I could walk correctly when it was time to leave. I pulled out the envelope and handed him 25 octims.
"Keep the change," I said, Tovin groaning quietly in tacit disapproval.
"Th-thank you!" said the waiter with a wide grin.
"In return, I'm keeping the pencil," I added, smiling back.
x - - x - - x - - ★ - - x - - x - - x
It didn't take long for us to find an inn. Bronzegirder was full of them, as it was apparently a booming industrial hub rife with people traveling on business. We decided to book one room with two separate bedrooms to save a bit of money. It came out to 9 octims a night, which when you factored in food, meant we only had a little over a week's worth of cash if we spent conservatively. I didn't know how long it was going to take me to find Atlas and Axle, but I couldn't see it happening that soon. We would likely have to hunt again; that or find a steady job that paid the bills.
It was a humble inn compared to some of the others we had seen. I really wanted to stay in one of the nicer ones, but Tovin wasn't having it. He said the less we had to go out and make money, the better, and I couldn't come up with a good enough argument to push back. While Tovin took a shower, I took an eraser to everything Fena had written to me in the notebook. I left a little bit of her message so as to avoid suspicion, and decided I'd write back later tonight before bed.
After his shower, he realized that he only had dirty clothes to change into and we were reminded that we needed to go shopping. I rinsed off and the two of us made our way back down to the lobby and out into town. It had gotten considerably darker since we had checked in, and the chill winds blew against my cold hair, sending shivers down my spine. We pulled our hoods up and hit the market.
The first shop we landed at was a big success. We bought a warm hat for Tovin's head, which was only just now growing back a thin layer of hair. We found some sheepskin flight jackets with wool collars that rode high against the back of our necks. Tovin begrudgingly accepted them as the best option both for warmth and for hiding our slave tattoos, but for me, I also thought they looked really, really cool.
We bought some leather gloves that matched the jackets, along with new undergarments and sleep attire. We bagged some Diesillian snacks and drinks, as well as a refill of cigarettes for Tovin before heading back to the room. We were both exhausted, and I was more excited about a bed than I ever had been. Back in the room, we sat on the floor and tried the different candies and snacks as we discussed our next plan of action.
"Let's stay here for a little while," Tovin advised, sitting under the open window with his cigarette in hand. "This place is huge. The odds of them finding us here quickly are slim."
"I agree," I said as I popped one of the candies in my mouth. "I'm not going to say I like it here, but it sure beats being on the run."
"We're still on the run," he warned. "Don't misunderstand that. We should also probably pick new aliases. DuPonte has the wrong ones, but Gilliam is pretty similar to William."
"Yeah, but we're not on the run, run. Y'know, being chased through the night, sleeping in abandoned shacks, and stowing away in train cars. I know they're still looking for us, but how are they ever gonna catch us now?"
He folded his arms and dropped his eyes. Smoke billowed from his mouth as he sat in quiet contemplation. "It would be a mistake to underestimate our enemy," he said finally. "We need to start going by new names. I'm Wallace, and you're Geoffrey, got that?"
"I don't want to be Geoffrey, you be Geoffrey," I said playfully as I passed him a bag of candies. "Here, try these. They're called jelly beans, they're pretty good."
He dug his hand into the bag, fished one out, and popped it into his mouth. "Fine," he said. "You can be Wallace then, and I'll be Geoffrey. You need to help me remember that, you understand?"
"Yeah, I got it," I assured him.
"Gill."
"I said I heard you, Jeez," I said dismissively as I picked up the dark beverage I had been eyeing. It was labeled Root Beer and it generated a golden fizz at the top when disturbed. I couldn't wait to taste it. Tovin reached over and gently lowered my hand. I looked up to find him staring at me intensely.
"Gill," he repeated. "Stop. Just stop it, alright? I know what you're doing. I might be slipping, but I'm not dumb, deaf, and blind just yet. While I appreciate the act, or at least where it's coming from, I know you're just as scared as I am. I'm not a child; and while I may not be able to preserve what remains of my dignity for very much longer, I would ask for your respect until that time comes."
I had somehow underestimated the smartest man I had ever known– again. I didn't know the extent of his condition. Based on our interactions, I figured that he had no memory of the times when he regressed. I assumed that he didn't fully understand how bad his lapses had gotten, but it seemed he did. Worse yet, I knew how he felt about sympathy. The way I was acting had to have felt like the biggest insult to him, and even so, he wasn't reacting with anger.
He just wanted to be heard.
"Earlier today in the woods," he said, lifting his arm and tapping his cigarette against the window sill. "I can't remember the details. I don't know how you did that monster in, how I ended up unconscious, or anything about how we got back to the city. But I do remember how I felt."
He traced the floorboards with his eyes and placed his arms on his knees as he looked for the words. "... I felt useless; helpless like a terrified child. At one point, I felt like I didn't deserve to be alive." He looked up at me. "It was like I was swimming in a dream; like I was watching my own actions from over my shoulder. I came back to consciousness for a brief moment and contemplated shoving that rifle in my mouth."
"Tovin–"
"Shut up," he waved at me dismissively, drawing tendrils of smoke in the air with the end of his cigarette. "I don't need your pep talk," he huffed. "I'm past it." He rested his head against the wall behind him. "I just want you to know that this whole thing is getting harder for me. It's like there are two people fighting for control of the wheel, and when I'm not steering, I'm in a sleeplike state. My thoughts play out in front of me like I'm having some kind of fever dream. They smear and melt like watercolor giving me brief glimpses of reality through a window I can't reach or jump through."
I stared at him with concern. We shared a brief moment of eye contact before he closed his eyes and exhaled smoke. "It's not looking good for me, Gill. I just wanted you to know before I went to bed," he said, getting to his feet. "That if I go to sleep tonight for the last time..."
"Hang on," I interrupted. "There's something you should know. I reached out to that friend of mine back home. He's already working on a way to fix you."
His face brightened. "Y-yeah?" he smiled. "Gill, why didn't you say anything?"
I picked up the bottle and used the opener we had purchased with it to pry the lid off. "There was never a good time," I shrugged. "It's been a long, long day."
"Well, what else did he say?" he asked, taking a step forward.
"... Just, y'know," I trailed off. "Hang in there."
He sucked his lips in and looked down at the floor. He knew I was holding back. I was more worried about putting him through information overload than anything else. There was a lot he didn't know; too much, in fact.
"Tovin, just trust me. You'll know everything soon," I assured him. "All of it. As soon as you get your memories back."
"You really think your friend is that incredible?" he asked without looking up.
I smiled knowingly. "I do."
I took a swig of the beverage and spat it back out all of my legs. It almost splashed his legs and he quickly scrambled away. He looked at me with apparent disgust.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" he yelled.
"It's like medicine," I grimaced. "I don't think this is even a drink!"
x - - x - - x - - ☾ - - x - - x - - x
That night, as Tovin slept, I wrote down the events of the day. As I jotted it all down, I began having new revelations. Tovin seemed to be at his best after resting. In the morning when we got off the train, he seemed alright. However, as the day drew on, he became less and less like himself. I should have known something was up the moment he wandered off without me. Then he was acting like a literal child up to our confrontation with the calraven. He had even mistakenly called me dad, perhaps reliving a buried memory of a hunt with his father.
But when his rifle exploded and he lost consciousness, he was back to himself when he woke up. He seemed to hold strong through dinner up until he went to bed. I wondered what it was about sleeping that restored at least a portion of his working mind.
Then there was the stranger, referred to only once as "Deac." There was no mistaking the magic that glowed in his body, but what was that other energy? I couldn't see it, but for the fact that it danced with and often overtook his magic essence. There were two energies tangled up together inside of him, and they seemed to be at odds with one another. And then there was the Diesel Devil sitting at the back of the cave.
The two of them definitely knew one another on a familiar level. They had been sent together to investigate Eluviel, but why, and from where? She definitely didn't seem happy to see them, but could that have been because she felt I was threatened by them? A splinter-sprite, he called her. A piece of her consciousness that she had shed just before she was subdued.
I wondered why she'd chosen me. Was it because I could see her while others couldn't? Or maybe I was just secretly really, really awesome, like a main character in a novel. I sat under the electric light and smiled at the idea of being someone worthy of tales. Someone like Tovin or Atlas with a bright destiny. But was revenge really such a noble pursuit? The yearning to return home and lift some heads off of shoulders didn't seem like any sort of heroic journey. After I penned the events of the day as best as I could, I got to work answering everyone individually.
Tovin. Be nice to Gill. He's doing his best with what he's got. Instead of being pissed at him, be pissed at the headmasters in question for what they've done to him. I hope everything I wrote above helps in some way, but I'm still running around out here with a lot of questions. Any luck with the spell for your counterpart? As you;ve read, he's getting worse. I need that miracle cure sooner than later. Thanks for your help.
I could already hear him in my head. "I'm working as fast I can you ingrate," or something like that. I laughed under my breath as I thought about what a dick he was. It was pressure, pride, and maintaining appearances that warped his personality so much. Out here in the Diesel as a nobody with nothing to prove, he was so much more agreeable. His inner-Tovin showed through now and again, but I wondered what would happen if he suddenly got all his memories back. Would he be a more chilled-out version of his ENU counterpart, or would he be even more high-strung?
Gill. I hope you read the annotation I scribbled in the margins about not reading the whole journal entry. I forgot you had asked me not to talk about the Galgalim before I had already written it all down. If you skipped right to this response as I hoped, then don't go back and read any of that. There were major revelations about what she is and why she's here.
I knew he wouldn't be able to resist after reading that. I needed his curiosity to overpower his fear. It was possible, I figured, that I could undo some of the damage Vega had done. I just needed to remind Gill of who he was.
I know it's weird putting your trust in me, but if there's anyone you can trust, it's yourself. I'm 99% sure Tovin would back me up on that, haha. And yeah, I remember Fena boasting about the importance of keeping a diary. We love that girl, but we hate to write, am I write?
I hoped he would find my pun funny. He was me, so he would at least smile at it, I was sure.
Even now my hand is aching something fierce, I want to go to bed more than anything. You know how long its been since I've slept in a bed? This mattress feels like heaven under me right now, you got no idea. And is Tovin still threatening to kill you? I thought we had gotten a little closer than that. I can't believe Axle was expelled. You're right, that means you're probably next. Keep your head down, man. Thanks for cooperating with me. If you had changed the summoning signature for the tome, I would have died today... and yesterday too, actually. I'm getting actual combat experience out here. It's wild knowing you can die at any moment. My hand is kinda cramping and I still have to write Fena back so I'll end it here. Thanks again for hearing me out and staying open-minded about this whole thing.
I set the pencil down and massaged the muscle between my thumb and forefinger. I had a lot to tell. But I wasn't about to roll over and drift off without writing to Fena. I picked the pencil up and readjusted myself before putting my words down.
I'm sorry I asked Gill not to tell you, but something deep down inside of me told me he would do it anyway. I just wanted to touch base with him first before I reached out to the rest of you. And technically, I was the one who showed you the message in the tome, so I didn't actually ever keep a secret from you.
I doodled a little smiley face with his tongue sticking out and then quickly erased it only to find that I couldn't fully get it off the page. There was a big smudge there that made it evident that I'd written and then erased something. I let out a frustrated sigh and drew it again, but somehow worse.
That's a solid theory on Tovin there. Same for Atlas. That could end up coming back to bite Vega in the ass. I promise I'll be safe, but do me a favor and help Tovin with whatever it is he needs. He's working on that spell to untether blocked memories from the mind, and the Tovin with me is getting worse by the day it seems. I don't want to see him get caught and sent back to the camp. He won't cooperate with them and they'll definitely kill him.
Thanks for everything, hun. I miss you more than you could ever know. Promise me you'll stay safe too. I know Vega is trying to find a way to get to you. If he got to Tovin... look just take every precaution you can. I love you. Goodnight.
I closed the book and set it down on my bedside table. I pulled the chain on the light, snuffing it out, then turned over and sank my head into the pillow. It wasn't that late yet– I could hear the hum of Diesel vehicles and even the chatter of the populace outside. I pulled the blankets over myself and closed my eyes. I let the warmth of the bed cradle me as I counted my many blessings, and thanked Hahnahkordia that I had somewhere warm and dry to lay my head.
The room was dimly lit when I opened my eyes again. It was just bright enough that I could read the clock on the wall. It was about 7am. It felt like I had blinked. I thought about getting up, but the blankets were so warm, and the room was cold– I had left the window open all night by accident. What reason did I have to get out of bed anyways? I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep again and repeated this several times until the clock read noon and I started to get hungry.
I rolled out of bed and quickly closed the window. I hurried into the hot embrace of my morning shower and got dressed before knocking on Tovin's door. "Hey, you up? I was thinking of breakfast."
There was no answer. I carefully opened his door to find his bed empty and neatly made. I entered the room fully to find that his backpack was also missing. I figured he had to have gotten hungry first and left without me. That theory fell on its face when I ventured back to my room and found a note placed on the side table.
You can sleep all day if you want. I'm going down to the gun range at the hunters' office. I won't be shown up by you again.
I set the note down and began to worry. I didn't like the idea of him going out by himself. What if he were to suddenly backslide mentally while out in Diesel territory alone? I could see a scenario where he'd forget his alias or that he has an incriminating mark on the back of his neck. I got dressed in a hurry and grabbed my backpack before heading out the door. I hurried down the steps and out into the cold wet streets of Bronzegirder.
I made my way north of the crowded city streets and found Alloy street. The bitter winds blew against me as I made my way up the empty road toward the hunters' office. I was starting to regret not buying a warm hat for myself when I bought one for Tovin. I skipped every second step on my way up to the front door and made my way past the reception desk and into the firing range. I heaved a sigh of relief when I found Tovin shooting at targets downrange.
I walked up next to him as he turned his rifle over and grabbed a handful of ammunition from the box sitting on the counter. "Busy morning, Geoffrey?"
"Did you just wake up?" he asked as he began feeding bullets into the tube.
"I figured I didn't have anywhere to be," I shrugged. "I assumed you didn't either. I thought the plan was to get our bonus and ditch this place."
"Yeah, well, I kind of like shooting," he admitted. "Also, we're out of money."
I felt my knees turn to jelly underneath me. "What?" I yelled. "How?"
"Turns out these guns are expensive," he said as he pulled the hammer back and lifted the rifle to his shoulder. "You left ours out in the woods. They charged us for them."
I stammered for entirely too long before wiping both hands over my face and collecting myself. "... How much we got left?"
"We owe," he answered, firing his gun. "They charged us for the uniforms, and then a fee to clean the gunk off of them. Also, I bought us a pair of rain ponchos, they're cheaper here." He motioned to a couple of folded-up ponchos hanging over the wooden divider.
I stammered for a little longer. This was becoming more expensive than it was worth. We would have to hunt another monster today. I was hoping to never have to hoof it out there again, and it was even colder today than it was yesterday.
"Calm down," he said, not taking his eyes off the target. "Get your poncho on. I've got a plan."
"A plan?" I asked.
x - - x - - x - - ★ - - x - - x - - x
"The circus?" I said with a hint of anger in my voice as we stood in front of the many tents and attractions. They had set up east of town on the perimeter of the city. Families wandered the fairgrounds. Vendors had set up games and stands with delicious food we couldn't pay for, and I had just remembered I hadn't eaten breakfast.
"I came this way first when I smelled the food," Tovin said, taking a few steps in front of me and turning around. "Then I explored a little bit. And wouldn't you know it– I found an attraction that was offering a cash prize. It just wasn't open yet."
I sighed and hung my head. "You just wanted to come to the carnival," I grumbled.
"100 octims," he said flatly.
I looked up at him and he smiled faintly. "Thought that would get your attention." He reached into his pocket and produced a single red ticket. "This will get us one round."
"One round?" I asked, taking the ticket and inspecting it. It read, "Single Admission ~ 1 Minute."
"There's a stage toward the back with a guy in a cape that you can challenge in hand-to-hand combat," he said, beckoning me to follow as he turned and started into the fair. I hurried after him as he explained. "Here's the kicker though. You don't have to beat him. All you've got to do is hit him."
"Just hit him?" I asked.
"That's what they said. He's supposed to be some kind of master. You strike him just once and we're set for the next several days, and that's after settling our debt."
This plan was a little better than I had given him credit for. Here I had thought he'd gone bananas again, but this could really work.
"You think I can do it?" I asked. "It can't be easy if they're throwing around a hundred octims."
"Here's what I'm thinking," he said, lowering his voice and slowing down to walk next to me. "You use a little bit of that magic– the kind you isolate in your feet to move quickly."
"Are you nuts?" I cast him an incredulous glance. "Did you forget we'd be on stage in Diesel territory?"
"Just use it once quickly to make your swing a little faster," he reasoned. "It's been drizzling all morning. The stage is wet already. If you're quick about it, it won't stand out."
"I don't know," I shook my head. "It's not the worst plan, but it's so risky."
"Riskier than hunting monsters?" he asked.
That was a fair point. Still, the idea of casting in front of everyone made me uneasy. It wasn't like Jetstream was a super common spell, though. Furthermore, the odds were slim that anyone in the crowd had ever even witnessed magic before. The more I thought about it, the more I started to think we could actually pull this off.
"This is the place," said Tovin as we approached a crowd. There was a wooden sign in front that read, The Slippery Salamander! One hit gets you 100 octims! The two of us pushed through the crowd until we came to the stage where a mustached man was swinging like crazy at the aptly named Salamander. He bobbed and weaved effortlessly around every attempted strike until a man in a red and white striped outfit hurried out onto the stage and blew a whistle.
"Time's up!" he called out.
The crowd cheered and applauded as the Salamander turned and took a bow. The world fell out from underneath me. I couldn't believe my eyes.
Writing Prompt Submitted by u/My-Last-Hope

Here's the deal. Moved here from MO a while ago. I was in MN for a couple of years as well. I am done with school now and have been looking for a job. There is a job offer in Davenport area. I was there over the weekend just to know what it's like. Thb I was driving around and it was dead on Saturday night and Sunday night. Those who lived there or from there and know about it, what do you think about moving there? Would you consider it? Differences from DSM and Iowa City area?

Check out our full Durham events calendar. If you'd like to add an event to our calendar, submit an event here. Please check with the event owners to see if events change due to weather. Have a great weekend!
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March Featured Event

The Hunt for the Golden Bulls with Bull City Burger and Brewery

• The 13th annual “Hunt for the Golden Bulls”: a scavenger hunt inspired by the golden tickets from the film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Throughout the month, clues and puzzles will be revealed on social media and at bullcityburgerandbrewery.com. The clues, once deciphered, lead participants to public spaces around Durham where a golden bull has been carefully hidden.
• Golden Bulls #1, #2, #3, and #4 have been found.

Multi-Day Events

The Durham Savoyards presents Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Yeomen of The Guard at The Carolina Theatre

• Do you need a comic operetta fix? In their 60th year, the Durham Savoyards are performing Gilbert and Sullivan’s The Yeomen of the Guard. The show promises a live orchestra, a travelling jester and his lovely lady, an assistant jailer interested in torture and comedy, a deviously flirtatious woman, a vanishing prisoner, sweetheart stealing, a blindfolded bride, a shot in the dark, a cock-and-bull story, and enough lies and connivances to make your head spin, if the headsman doesn’t get it first.
• Fri, Mar 31 at 8:00 p.m.
• Sat, Apr 1 at 7:00 p.m.
• Sun, Apr 2 at 3:00 p.m.
• $40

Events at The Pinhook

• Thu, Mar 30 at 8:00 p.m. - Yolo Karaoke!
• Fri, Mar 31 at 8:00 p.m. - ¡Tumbao! / Akita / Mami’s and the Papis!
• Sat, Apr 1 at 7:00 p.m. - Horizontal Hold / Neill Wyeman / Osowa Tome
• Sat, Apr 1 at 10:00 p.m. - The House Of Coxx Presents: Drag Divinity
• Sat, Apr 1 at 11:55 p.m. - Rent Due Dance Party!!!
• Sun, Apr 2 at 7:00 p.m. - Matty Frank / Debbie The Artist / Jr – LGBTQ Center Benefit!

Improv Comedy at Mettlesome

• Thu-Sat at 8:00 p.m. Romance is Dead: A Sketch Comedy Show About the Darker Side of Romance
• Fri, Mar 31 at 7:00 p.m. The Racket - See indie improv teams from around the Triangle show off their stuff.
• Fri, Mar 31 at 9:00 p.m. Hush Hush - Improv inspired by anonymous secrets from the audience.
• Sat, Apr 1 at 9:00 p.m. House Party - A mix of short-form (similar to Who's Line is it Anyway?) and long-form inspired by an audience interview.
• All shows $8

Events at Motorco Music Hall

• Thu, Mar 30 at 8:00 p.m. - Ryan Montbleau with Bryan Elijah Smith
• Fri, Mar 31 at 8:00 p.m. - The Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band with The Hooten Hallers

Live Music at Blue Note Grill

• Thur, Mar 30 at 7:30 p.m. - Blood Brothers: Mike Zito & Albert Castiglia
• Fri, Mar 31 at 6:00 p.m. - The Duke Street Dogs
• Fri, Mar 31 at 9:15 p.m. - Wiley Fosters Play Foster Wiley
• Sat, Apr 1 at 7:30 p.m. - Armand & Bluesology featuring Carter Minor

Events at Moon Dog Meadery

• Thu, Mar 30 at 6:30 p.m. - 90's Trivia Night with The Durham Library
• Sun, Apr 2 at 7:00 p.m. - Moon Dog Open Mic

Live Music at Sharp 9 Gallery

• Fri, Mar 31 at 8:00 p.m. - Peter Bernstein/Joey Calderazzo Quartet
• Sat, Apr 1 at 2:00 p.m. - Peter Bernstein Masterclass
• Sat, Apr 1 at 8:00 p.m. - Peter Bernstein/Joey Calderazzo Quartet

Events at Arcana

• Thu, Mar 30 - Matt Southern & Kit McKay and Tarot with Virginia
• Fri, Mar 31 (bar opens at 8 p.m.) - Andrew Kasab and Tarot with Virginia
• Sat, Apr 1 - Bardo Bloom Tarot with Rene
• Sun, Apr 2 - Slow Teeth w/Robert Chamberlain and Tarot with Emily

Events at Rubies on Five Points

• Thu, Mar 30 at 8:00 p.m. - Piedmont with Scivic Rivers
• Fri, Mar 31 at 10:00 p.m. - DJ Bagaceiro Presents: Still Rising – A Tribute To De La Soul
• Sat, Apr 1 at 10:00 p.m. - Renaissance Disko V with DJ Vsprtn Brings You The Fifth Edition Of Disko

Events at The Fruit

• Thu, Mar 30 at 8:00 p.m. - Below Decks: Isabel Essence / Acfx 969 / K Ward / Miss Ashley
• Thu, Mar 30 at 8:00 p.m. - Rabbit Foot Puppetry Presents: The Clown Car Rolls On
• Sat, Apr 1 at 9:30 p.m. - Ignition Featuring: Popov (Form Music)
• Sun, Apr 2 at 12 p.m. - The Fruit Flea: Monthly Flea Market

Ira Knight Presents From Myth To Man: Martin Luther King, An Interpretation at Walltown Children's Theatre

• An audience talkback with actor and playwright will follow each performance. This original one-man play is currently touring colleges and universities in the United States.
• Fri, Mar 31 at 7:00 p.m. and Sat, Apr 1 at 2 p.m.
• $22

NCCU Dance Repertory Spring Concert at NCCU University Theatre

• The Department of Theatre will present its annual Spring Dance Concert.
• Sat, Apr 1 at 8:00 p.m.
• Sun, Apr 2 at 3:00 p.m.
• $10

Thursday, Mar 30

Relay Relay at Boxyard RTP

• Relay Relay is the feel good, free-spirited indie pop group led by the husband and wife songwriting team of Hannah and Jamie Rowen. Their music blends retro soundscapes into a uniquely modern sound with powerful vocal melodies, vibey guitar riffs, dreamy synth tones and rich harmonies woven together with a strong pop sensibility.
• 5:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Vinyl Night with DJ Deckades at Gizmo Brew Works

• Enjoy fresh vibes on the patio with DJ Deckades. Bring your own vinyl to share or just listen to what the DJ is spinning.
• 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Boulders & Brews Meetup at Triangle Rock Club - Durham

• Show up and climb at TRC Durham, then head over to Hi-Wire for some brews. Don't worry if it's your first time or haven't bouldered before; everyone's welcome.
• Your first visit to the gym with the Meetup includes free admission and gear rental, and subsequent visits with the meetup are $15 and include harness rental (outside of meetups, day pass rates of $19 apply and do not include rentals).
• 6:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m.

Al Strong Presents Jazz on the Roof at The Durham Hotel

• The Durham is excited to bring back “Al Strong Presents.” A favorite rooftop event, it’s back by popular demand! Join us for live jazz music on the Roof overlooking downtown Durham.
• 7:00 p.m. - 9:30 p.m.
• Free admission, but space is limited

Live Music in the Taproom at The Glass Jug Beer Lab - Downtown Durham

• Glass Jug offers local live music EVERY Thursday in their Downtown Durham taproom.
• 7:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Trivia Night w/Big Slow Tom at Clouds Brewing Brightleaf Square

• Join Clouds Durham for Big Slow Tom's Trivia Night, every Thursday. Win some prizes, drink some beer, and show your smarts.
• Enjoy $4 select draft and $5 rotating bartender's choice all night.
• 7:30 p.m.
• Free admission

Friday, Mar 31

Tasting at Ten at Counter Culture Coffee

• Every Friday morning at 10 am, Counter Culture Coffee opens their Training Centers to coffee lovers who want to learn more about Counter Culture Coffee’s high-quality, sustainably sourced menu.
• 10:00 a.m.
• Free, but donations accepted

Carolina BBQ Fest (Dreamville Pop-Up/ Flea Market) at Studio Motif Durham

• The Carolina BBQ Music Festival is an indoooutdoor event curated to highlight North and South Carolina's emerging talent, such as performing and visual artists, brands, small businesses and content creators. Prepare for an action packed performance and networking with over 100's of creatives and like-minded music lovers from all over the Carolina's and the USA.
• 2:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.
• $20

Durham Bulls Kickoff Party at CCB Plaza

• Join us at CCB Plaza on game day starting at 3:30 p.m. for music from DJ Piddipat, free popcorn provided by Self Help and cornhole. You also won’t want to miss the special guest appearance from Wool E. Bull himself!
• 3:30 p.m. - 6:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Swing into Spring at the Durham Art Council Truist Gallery

• Join the Durham Art Guild for a night celebrating the arts. It’s their first in-person event since 2019! Enjoy local entertainment, Art experiences, food and drink, and place your bids on fabulous art pieces and items celebrating the best of the Bull City!
• 6:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Open Mic Stand-Up Comedy at Durty Bull Brewing Company

• This weekly event takes place indoors in the Barrel Room, with seating available for nearly 100 people. There's no better way to unwind after a long week than a night of laughter with Ashley & Ebony. Interested in performing? Please contact Ashley and Ebony.
• 8:00 p.m. - 11:00 p.m.
• 21+
• Free admission

Pub Karaoke at West 94th St Pub

• Hosted by All King Entertainment.
• 10:00 p.m. - 1:00 a.m.
• Free admission

Saturday, Apr 1

parkrun Durham at Southern Boundaries Park

• A free, fun, and friendly weekly 5k community event. Walk, jog, run, volunteer, or spectate. It's up to you!
• 8:00 a.m.
• Free admission

Durham Farmers’ Market at Durham Central Park

• The Durham Farmers’ Market offers locally grown fruits and vegetables, meats, eggs, cut flowers, artisanal cheeses and breads, home-baked pies, honey, handmade chocolates, preserves, local wines, handmade soaps, fresh pasta, and artwork of all sorts!
• 8:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m.
• Free admission

South Durham Farmers' Market at Greenwood Commons Shopping Center

• The market strives to support new and growing farms and vendors in the greater Durham area, and they are also home to some of the most iconic Durham brands around.
• 8:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Durham Master Gardener Volunteers Plant Festival at Durham County Cooperative Extension

• Join Durham County Cooperative Extension and other community partners for a fun and educational day. Learn about native plants, composting, beekeeping, bird-friendly habitats, the Durham Library seed library, local community gardens, patio gardening, and MORE. There will be kid-friendly, hands-on exhibits and a story time. While you’re there, learn about the Plant Sale the following week and the first 200 get a free plant.
• 10:00 a.m. - 12:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Art-n-Soul Market at Mystic Farm & Distillery

• Come shop handmade in this special setting. Mystic Farm & Distillery in Durham offers a unique place to gather and enjoy local spirits. The Art-n-Soul Market brings the best local artisans, food trucks and live music out to the farm for bourbon tastings, craft cocktails, food trucks and distinctive gifts you won't find anywhere else. Bring your friends and meet us at the bourbon farm! Dogs welcome.
• 12:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Crafternoons at Gizmo Brew Works

• Free pint with purchase of craft box. Choose from a variety of craft packages available for all ages.
• 12:00 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.

Sunday, Apr 2

Public Tour at Duke University Chapel

• Learn about the history, architecture, and life of Duke Chapel in this tour. The tour begins at 12:15 p.m., or immediately following the conclusion of the Sunday morning service, and lasts approximately 45 minutes. No reservation is required but if you plan to bring a large group please contact [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]). Meet the docent on the front steps of the Chapel.
• 12:15 p.m.
• Free admission

Trivia at Navigator Beverage Co.

• Hosted by the Triangle’s Trivia team, Hammered Trivia, gather your team and post up to compete for prizes and enjoy an afternoon of great drinks, great friends, and great games.
• 2:00 p.m. - 4:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Running Art Exhibits

Art Exhibition: 'Marc Chagall and the Bible' at Duke Chapel

• In partnership with Duke Initiatives in Theology and the Arts (DITA), the Chapel is presenting an exhibition of prints of works by the distinguished, modernist artist Marc Chagall. Curated by the art collector Sandra Bowden, the exhibition, Marc Chagall and the Bible, features etchings and lithographs with biblical themes.
• The Chapel is open daily from 10:00 a.m. - 8:00 p.m. but is sometimes closed to the public for private ceremonies
• Runs through March 30
• No tickets or reservations required.

The Textile Art of Debbie Secan in the Great Hall of the Golden Belt Campus

• Debbie Secan fell in love with weaving as a teenager and has worked with woven structures ever since, in the textile industry and as a fine artist. The materials in her work are repurposed for environmental reasons and to exploit the breadth of resources we discard.
• Runs through Mar 31
• Mon-Sat from 10:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m. Sun from 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.
• Free admission

The Art of Nicholas Edward at the Building 2 Gallery at Golden Belt Campus

• Derrick Nicholas is the artist behind Nicholas Edward. Originally from Charlotte, North Carolina, he moved to Raleigh in 1995 and has been a Triangle resident ever since. A North Carolina A&T University class of 2008 graduate with a Bachelor’s Degree in Graphic Design, art has been Nicholas’ passion since the age of 6. He loves to express and create through various mediums including pencil, digital, and paint, and finds that each provides a unique and therapeutic satisfaction.
• Runs through Mar 31
• Mon-Sat from 10:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m. Sun from 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.
• Free admission

Mi Casa, Your Casa Experience at The Streets at Southpoint

• Designed to look and feel like an inviting home, Mi Casa, Your Casa 2.0 encourages visitors to come together and feel a sense of warmth and community as they step in, swing, and relax in one of the glowing red houses.
• Runs through Apr 2

The Mind’s Eye: Gallery Members Exhibition at 5 Points Gallery

• 5 Points Gallery celebrates cleverness in the Year of the Rabbit with their new exhibit called “The Mind’s Eye”.
• Runs through Apr 15
• Free admission

Damian Stamer Collaborations: New Paintings at Craven Allen Gallery

• Collaborations features both new paintings from Stamer’s continued exploration of home, memory, and place as well as a new body of work created in collaboration with Artificial Intelligence. Instead of his traditional process of using photographs as source material, Stamer used an AI text-to-image generator to compile reference imagery. The resulting oil paintings are visually striking and raise timely questions about our relationship with the digital world.
• Runs through May 6
• Free admission

Beyond the Surface: Collage, Mixed Media and Textile Works from the Collection at the Nasher

• This exhibition includes approximately 40 works, primarily from the Nasher Museum’s collection. With a focus on collage, mixed media and textile works, Beyond the Surface explores how artists bring together disparate materials and ideas to create artworks that engage with all audiences.
• Tue-Fri from 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. Sun from 12:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.
• Runs through May 14
• Free admission

Patrimonio Heritage at John Hope Franklin Center Gallery

• A series of drawing interventions on “Llanchama” (Amazonian tree bark) by Peruvian/American artist Renzo Ortega.
• Mon-Fri from 8:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m.
• Runs through May 18
• Free admission

Exhibits at 21c Museum Hotel

• Whitney Stanley: We Just Be in the Vault Gallery
• This We Believe in the Main Gallery
• Runs through May 31
• Open 24 hours
• Free admission

Spirit in the Land at the Nasher

• Spirit in the Land is a contemporary art exhibition that examines today’s urgent ecological concerns from a cultural perspective, demonstrating how intricately our identities and natural environments are intertwined. Through their artwork, 30 artists show us how rooted in the earth our most cherished cultural traditions are, how our relationship to land and water shapes us as individuals and communities
• Tue-Fri from 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. Sun from 12:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.
• Runs through Jul 9
• Free admission

Art of Peru at the Nasher

• This gallery features ceramics, textiles, metalwork and carvings produced by ancient cultures across what is known as present-day Peru.
• Tue-Fri from 10:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. Sun from 12:00 p.m. - 5:00 p.m.
• Runs through Dec 2
• Free admission

Did a quick Reddit search to see if this has been posted before and apologies if it has but last night I was making some seared chicken with pesto pasta and was planning on adding some diced zucchini. I was feeling kinda lazy to properly dice the zucchini and figured shredding would be just fine.
I remembered that when shredded, a lot of that good zucchini moisture can be released quickly so I seared my chicken, removed, and then tossed in the shredded zucchini and it deglazed the cast iron pan pretty well! I then tossed my cooked pasta with the zucchini, added a little pasta water, and added the pesto in. Came out really nice and was an easy way to incorporate the veggie!

According to a post by Solo118 shows the map at night casting a shadow over the mountain and across the lake just under chiliad.
Can we check this? I think if we turn the map upside down as if the moon was coming from the top of the map?

My boyfriend (32m) and I (26f) had an argument about his alcohol intake and I'm not sure which of us is right.
So BF will have a bunch of friends over every month-ish and they basically drink non-stop from Friday night till Sunday morning. This includes drinking at dinner, drinking at brunch, drinking throughout the afternoon and then conducting heavy-drinking games like Pong before going out to bars and drinking more. Altogether, most of them are averaging about two drinks an hour with small breaks throughout the day. (Although it's important to note that Saturday nights are higher consumption.)
Now, BF has told me it bothers him that I do not hang out with all of his friends when they come to visit. I told him that it is uncomfortable to be there when everyone is drinking so much. (I have had a few drinks here and there when I attend, but have recently stopped because some of them will drive while drinking and I prefer to be a sober DD so everyone stays safe. BF never drives while drinking. The last time everyone came, I didn't see them all weekend because I didn't want to be around this behavior at all.)
His inability to understand that this is unhealthy and that several of his friends are functioning alcoholics makes me question his own ability to maintain a healthy relationship with alcohol. I'm at a loss, because this is really the only thing "wrong" in our relationship. Otherwise, he's a great guy.
Advice?
TLDR: Boyfriend drinks excessively and doesn't see the problem. I am uncomfortable and don't know how to proceed.

Another post asked about what Disney gave you if you complained. That got me thinking about the strangest thing that happened to me at Disney.
I think this was on the 40th anniversary but it could have been the leap day event. They were giving away something for the first so many people to enter the park. I think it was Mickey ears. They said the line would open at 5am. We spent the night so we could get to the park right when it opened. I ended up driving over at like 4:30 so I could get in line. There were no cast members in the parking lot, no monorails, no buses, no boats. People just ended up walking from the parking to to the main entrance. There were tons of us. The roads are not set up for walking so it was dark, going through the tunnel was terrifying.
Finally we get over there and the cast members were not expecting people. They were going to line up people in front of the monorail but they didn’t have anyone there when people started arriving. They started putting us in line. It ended up just being absolute chaos.
At least I can say I walked from the parking lot to the main entrance at the magic kingdom!

I’m a 25 yr old guy from South of England. Picture here or ask for some if you want to see for mutual attraction x Friendly, funny and single guy. Confession I’m a virgin and looking for first time relationship hopefully a special long term one. Sorry if that’s a dealbreaker, but I’m hoping it’s not and hopefully this shows just a little how honest and trustworthy I can be. Romantic, caring and emotionally available partner is my cup of tea. More of a homebody and prefer nights in than out, sorry I can be a little introverted. Hoping someone can just accept me for who I am and not what I’m not. Wanting someone who’s looking to be themselves and I’ll love them for that. I want to a an emotional available and always present to talk about silly to important things. Both attentive and needy at times. I’m friendly, caring, honest, affectionate, I want to earn your trust and make sure you feel affect and I’ll work hard at trying to make you happy everyday. I can’t promise much, but I’ll promise that x
Key Things that I’m looking for (the short version) - Prefer UK - Prefer Long-term dynamic/relationship and monogamous - Any age or body type is no dealbreaker. - Happy with Long Distance (if we’re far apart) - A bestie type and romantic - Connection, personality and fun - Intro of yourself would be amazing :) - I want to provide someone the space to be able to express themselves freely
Romantic, caring and don’t take themselves too seriously people are my cup of tea and I’d give you the same x Want to chat and be friends, chill and give each other lots of attention everyday. If your funny, good sense of humour and meme lovers to the front please haha
Things about me: - Well educated and have a Degree and Masters in Youth Sport. - Fantasy Films and books, Lord of the Rings my favourite films. - Weird sense of humour as I can cry laugh from Always Sunny raunchy jokes to silliest nonsensical humour. I apologise in advance. - Play Sport sometimes usually Football. Can come out my shell more when being competitive from Football to Board Games - Homebody, just want a cozy night in and watch films/TV snuggle and make each other laugh with cookies and tea of course.
Potential Dealbreakers : - I’m a virgin - Live at home with parents - Can’t Drive yet - Submissive (if you know, you know)
If interested please message even if you think your not a match or suitable, give it a shot ;) https://imgur.com/a/Z4U393R
All the best, some random guy tea-lover from Britannia called Ben x

A screw top corona. Not my first choice, but handed to me cold, so I wasn’t going to decline. An apartment party is not somewhere that I ventured too often, but I had just gotten back in town after a 4-month bender abroad, an annoying sentence, I know. Being apart from my friends, I was willing to oblige to their desired evening of fun. Drinking was not atop my priority list, but I was happy to be back with the crew.
It was summer in a sleepy college town. Not a lot to do and not a lot of places to find trouble, so to the apartment party we went, my half empty corona in hand.
Peter and I had met on Halloween 6 months prior to this evening. There was an instant connection. I have never cry laughed more or felt more myself than when I’m with him. Everyone loved Peter. What’s not to love? He made everyone feel like a friend, funny and witty, welcoming, and kind. Once I got to know him on a deeper level, I quickly realized that there was a sad part of him, and I think that is why we connected so well. We were the life of the party, but sad inside to no one’s wiser. We never talked about it, but I know one another’s company made us both feel at home. I quickly knew that I wanted this friendship to last forever. A week after we met, I knew I would have to let him know that I was not romantically interested in him so we could get on with being friends. At 22, a boy doesn’t want to hear that. Now, some 10 years later, he is thankful for the decision I made for us all those years ago. My older brother, my safe space.
Peter liked to party. It was not odd to go to a party with one another and end the night, separated (and by separated, I mean, Peter getting too drunk and leaving a party with out telling anyone or getting kicked out of a bar). We always found our way back to each other the next morning. Breakfast and a gossip session over the events of the night before.
You can hear the music and the beer pong from the ground floor. Peter and I enter the buzzing apartment. I immediately see an old friend that I have not seen since I’ve returned. I am elated. I run over to Thomas and smoother him in the biggest hug imaginable. His face lights up, shocked to see me. We hold up in a corner, laughing and swapping stories from the semester. Thomas and I have had every single class together since freshman year. Our classroom friendship, turned study buddies, turned into a real-life friendship outside of the hallways and the late-night papers. One of the most genuine people I had during college. I was so happy to be reunited. We had so much to catch up on.
Thomas was shy. He never had a ton to say, which is why we got along so well, I can’t shut up, and he’s a great listener. I think he liked how I just forced my friendship onto him, he didn’t really have a say in the matter. We were spending so much of our academic hours together, which made me want to be friends all of the time. He didn’t seem opposed, and we’ve been friends ever since. The extrovert adopts the introvert, a true match made.
I feel a tap on my shoulder. It’s a familiar face from freshman year. Matt. He was friends with some of my older friends. Nice guy, weird he was at this party. Hasn’t he graduated? I thought to myself.
“Sadie, how to hell are you girl”? he screamed into my ear as he embraced me. Matt was an enthusiastic guy. Happy about everything, until he got too drunk, and enthusiasm turned into extremely annoying, very quickly. We exchanged small talk, until we were approached by another figure.
“Chad, what the fuck is up man, come here. Do you know Sadie? Greatest girl on earth, you have to meet her”?! Matt yelled as he embraced Chad. I knew Chad. He had messaged me while I was away for the semester. A random message, considering I had been at my university for 3.5 years and never heard of him until his Instagram DM. I chalked it up to him hearing about my recent break up. It’s a small town, the dating pool is subpar, and we ran in different circles. I put two and two together, Thomas and Matt are in the same frat, and I’m now learning that that is how Chad fits into this circle. We spoke a couple times while I was away, nothing serious, and left it at “see ya around”. I guess “around” was happening right now.
“I am hopping to get to know her a lot more” Chad smirked. Matt turned to me and continued to tell me about awesome Chas is and how crazy it was that our paths have never crossed.
Everyone knew the answer to that. I had dated the same guy all of college, and up until a few months ago, I didn’t know who the cute, single guys were on campus. I quickly learned that Chad, was one of them. Maybe this was my chance to have a little fun as I entered my senior year. I was going to have an easy year and after a very bad break up, no strings attached fun was exactly what I needed.
“Let me get you a drink” Chad suggested. That’s right, my corona. I had finished it on the ride over here and was too busy talking with Thomas to get another. Chad appeared with a red solo cup of what he called “the house drink”. I took the half-filled cup and took a sip. It tasted like every other party juice that college kids make. Likely an entire bottle of cheap brunettes’ vodka and whatever juice they had in the fridge. I now find myself in another corner, completely enchanted with Chad.
I don’t know how much time has passed; I tell him I need to use the restroom. I push past the crowd of strangers and dodge flying ping pong balls. I find myself in a bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror. Am I having a good time? I ask myself with a smile. It’s been almost 4 years of college and the bad times have unfortunately clouded my memories of the fun times. At 21 years old, I find myself struggling with dark, overwhelming emotions that I have absolutely no idea how to navigate. It’s refreshing to be sober and having fun, especially with a cute boy. I kind of want to go home with Chad? If that’s what this leads to, I think as I wash my hands and reapply my lip gloss. He’s a 22 year old guy, of course he wants me to come home with him. I’ve never done that before. Gone home with someone I barley know? It’s college, I’m single, this is exactly what I can and want to do I think to myself as I place the lip gloss back into my bag.
Anyway, I need to get back out there. I toss the gross rag back onto the counter. Give my hair a fluff and open the door. Thomas is standing right outside the door as I open it. “Stop talking to him” he whispers to me. “What”? I screamed over the blaring music. Thomas mumbles when he’s been drinking so I have no idea what he’s getting on about. “That guy is bad news, just warning you” he says looking at me with the coldest stare he’s ever given. Thomas has never had an opinion on my dating or social life, ever. That’s the best thing about our friendship. It’s just a fun, healthy, no bad energy kind of flow. We don’t talk boys or girls and we can just be ourselves with each other. Hearing him say something about Chad is odd. “He’s nice, we’re just talking” I assure him and prance back to my corner.
I always wonder how different my life would be if Thomas was a girl. If a girlfriend told me to be worried about a guy and not talk to them, I would listen. I would have never gone back over to that guy. I trust my girlfriends with my life. In that moment, I thought Thomas was drunk and crushing on me and didn’t like seeing me with a guy that he deemed to be a “douche bag”. I always wonder if Matt didn’t see me that night, would Chad have even approached us talking. I always wonder if Peter didn’t want to go out that night, I would have never ended up in the apartment. I always wonder if I didn’t take a drink of that juice and vodka, the events of that night would have played out differently. I can’t ask myself those questions these days. I don’t handle “what ifs” very well.
I get back to my corner. I’m feeling flushed. It’s probably the juice in the drink, I’ve never liked a sweet drink. Makes my head hurt. Chad is almost as charming as I think I am. My charm comes in the form of sarcasm and dancing around the line of just being mean. Boys love that.
“I’m having a great time, I don’t even care that we’re at this party, do you want to maybe come back to my place and keep talking? I just live down the street” Chad leans into me closer as he asks with the most soft but confident tone. I don’t even think before I answer, an excited “Yes” slips from my glossed lips.
“My roommate is here actually; he doesn’t drink so he can drive us”. His roommate appears out of thin air, like he was a fly on the wall, waiting for his cue. It's like he had it planned.
I don’t tell Peter and Thomas I’m leaving. The last thing I want to hear from them is all the reasons I shouldn’t. I scan the room; Peter isn’t even in the apartment. Classic. Thomas must be in the room I left him in, I don’t say bye. I take Chad’s hand and we’re getting in his roommates’ car. He sits in the back with me, even though there isn’t a 4th person coming with us. I think it’s odd, making your roommate be your driver? I don’t think about it again. I’m dizzy. It’s probably the car, I do get car sick.
The roommate jumps out of the car before the head lights even turn off and heads inside, it’s like he was trying to run away from us. Again, odd. Maybe he’s just an awkward guy. We get up to his second-floor apartment. It’s a typical boy apartment. The TV to couch ratio is off and there are empty whiskey bottles lining the top of the kitchen counters. I roll my eyes.
Why am I here? My heart is racing out of my chest. I feel like I could run a marathon but, I can barely keep my eyes open. I’ve never felt like this before. I don’t even remember the car ride over here? Which is strange, considering I had 1 corona 2 hours ago and half a class of juicy vodka over the last hour. I keep doing “drink math” in head as it spins in circles. Trying to understand why this blanket of fog and discomfit comes over so quickly. I don’t want to get sick, how embarrassing would that be? Especially in front of this cute guy that I’ve just met.
He walks me into his room. We’re kissing. That’s fine. I sit down on the bed, his palms grabbing either side of my face. I’m good with that. I pull back, “I don’t want to have sex” I said nervously. I’m up front, I wanted him to know that that’s not why I came back here. I just wanted to see how things were, just the two of us. “Then we don’t have to” he smiled as he went back to kissing me.
Darkness. I can’t see anything. I know things are happening, I couldn’t tell you exactly what. Are my eyes even open? I’m trying to open them. I’m trying to talk. I can’t hear myself. It’s like all motor functions just slipped away without me knowing. Like I’m a baby that wants to communicate but can only make a few sounds. I can’t get my point across. It’s extremely frustrating. I can’t even tell if I can move my arms. Panic sets in. I hear an exhausted “NO” escape my lips. I think? I hope.
Darkness. I don’t know how much time has passed. Am I coming in and out of consciousness? I don’t even know what that feeling is like, I’ve never experienced what’s happening to me before. I’m in a bathroom? Why? I look up and see myself in the mirror. I’m naked. I tilt my head up a little further and I see him, behind me, naked as well.
He’s Inside of me. I realize what is happening.
Why are we in the bathroom? Did you need to watch me in the mirror? Did I run in here and you followed me to continue what you had started in the darkness.
“NO, get off me” finally. I heard that. It was loud. Good. I run back into the room. Why are my clothes off? Where is my purse? God why do I always wear so much jewelry, it’s everywhere. I can buy new stuff. No, this is new stuff, get it off the floor. I toss myself together, shoes and bag in hand. I run.
Darkness.
I’m on the phone.
Darkness.
Now, I’m in a car.
Darkness.
Now, I’m swallowing a pill, eating a taco, drinking water out of a glass, and laying in Monica’s bed. She seems very stressed out. How did I get here? I asked myself as I examine my familiar surroundings.
The next morning, we treated it like a normal morning.
Monica was my best friend. Looking back at our friendship, she was more like a mother. A mother with attachment issues. She was in and out of relationships or flings, always obsessing over the ex she dumped. She was an only child, selfishness came natural to her. She was only a couple years older than me. I thought she hung the moon. I had never had a friendship like this before. We were rarely apart. After my break up, I basically lived with Monica. I would have done anything for her, and to be honest, at that moment in time, she would have done anything for me. it’s the only time I had ever felt like she truly cared about me.
Peter and Jake met Monica and I at breakfast. Over the past 6 months, the 4 of us did everything together. We were the life of every party. They were the ying to our yang. This breakfast however, was not like our normal Sunday hungover gossip sessions.
“Are you going to tell them or should I”? Monica blurted out once we all got our drinks. I felt the redness flush over my cheeks. I couldn’t say that word. I couldn’t tell Peter what happened. I couldn’t look him in the eyes. I didn’t even want to tell Monica what happened. She told me she found me in a parking lot of an apartment building that we had never even been to before. She knew. I didn’t have to say anything. I wanted it to vanish out of my memory. I could barley remember anything so if I continued to push it out of my brain, it would be gone like a dream sooner rather than later.
I don’t remember the rest of that breakfast. I don’t remember the rest of that summer. If we’re being honest, looking back, I don’t remember most of college. It’s like that one night triggered something so dark inside of me that it erased everything from my memory. They call it trauma in therapy, but I call it protection.
Of course, I remember things here and there. Funny stories, my walks to class. But conversations, nights out with friends, the day-to-day life of what was supposed to be the greatest 4 years of your life was magically gone.
Not only did it trigger something dark inside of me, but it altered every cell in my body. The extrovert became an introvert. I couldn’t speak with a man with out a chip on my shoulder. I was moody and tired and completely unamused with everything. It’s like a was making poor decisions in my life on purpose because I was addicted to the pain and suffering. Sadness and shame were my new normal. I didn’t want to be happy, that felt like way too much work. I was good at being miserable.
I stayed like this for almost 3 years. I graduated, moved to a new city, made new friends, continued to make awful choices, got into another toxic relationship that wasn’t even a relationship and pushed away a lot of people. Monica and I had our inevitable break up. Thomas was still back in our college town, I didn’t see him often. Peter moved to the west coast the month before I moved to the east coast. An entire country apart. He still came to visit me. He checked on me. We missed each other so much, I know it hurt us both, but we would never tell each other. A simple “miss you” even though I knew it was more than that. I needed him. I needed someone there that loved me like I used to love myself.