How late is boscov's open today
Buy It For Life Deals
2016.12.05 01:48 CoolRunner Buy It For Life Deals
Subreddit dedicated to high quality goods with longevity on sale or at a great price.
2013.10.03 13:11 patr1234 The Downsides of Modern Development
A photography subreddit of all the hideous places human beings built or inhabit. Come here for aesthetic appreciation of the darker side of the cities, towns, and villages in our shared world. We welcome any photos which show either ugliness, or a problem in urban development. Rural and suburban hell are also allowed.
2013.06.06 21:26 tara1 Humans just being bros
A place for sharing videos, gifs, and images of people being total bros.
2023.03.31 17:22 Orgeo I (M28) don't know what to do to fix the situation I've caused with my now very recent ex (f22) and really need some advice
For a bit of context we were together for nearly 2 years and we have a 6 month old together and I have a 7 year old from a previous and relationship.
So this has really all started at the beginning of the year in January as on some weekends I have to go to my mum's to have my 7 year old just due to travel restrictions on certain weekends and to cut a long story short I didn't call to speak to either of them and didn't come back the day I said I would. This caused us to have a failing out but we're able to get past it and it did bring up some things that she wasn't happy with which were me smoking the amount of weed I was smoking and also just to make an effort to keep the house clean compared to the effort I was doing in the past. I had cut down smoking alot compared to what I was and tried to be cleaner but honestly I could of done more.
Then the weekend before mother's day (UK) again I had to go to my mum's for my other child and was supposed to travel back Sunday/Monday depending when she got picked up and I got very ill being bed bound from Saturday night to about Wednesday and obviously could not travel back I started to feel a bit better Wednesday but I was told it was too late as our sons bedtime is 8pm the next day all trains were cancelled completely due to strikes and then Friday I was working late so it was no possible to get the right train on time (I don't drive and don't really have anyone around me who would take me as it's a 2 hour round trip by car. After this I was told she didn't want me to come back at the weekend and that she probably wouldn't speak to me on Mothers Day as we were clearly not in a good place.
Come Monday she had messaged me basically telling me it was over and that she was left heartbroken she had nothing to wake up to on her first mother's day (had everything with me for her but this makes me hate myself for making her feel this way) and that I hadn't even sent her a nice message. I did send her a message but was really anxious what to put to her understandably because she was really heartbroken.
The next week and I have made a very big effort and will always continue to do to call my son everyday, ask how he is and what he's doing and also tried to talk to her about all of this but she just feel so hurt and angry and just has nothing to say to me.
Since all this it has really made me think about what it is I want in life which is us a family and I can't believe it's taken this for it to actually get through to me, this has also made me quit weed completely and have been sober since.
The following week she invited me to come and stay at her (in the guestroom ofcourse) so I can be with outlr son which I jumped at as I've missed him so much and also missed her and wanted to see her.
The 2 days I was an emotional wreck but kept it together with our son it was just when he went to bed and it's just us to so I told her in a short form that I'm so sorry ive disappointed both her, her family and our son and that all I care about is them and I know I haven't shown that and I will do anything to show her than I am changing to be the person firstly I want to be but also the dad/partner I should of been. That I've quiet smoking weed completely and I've never been so straight thinking in my life as to what I want and that is to be with them.
The following day which was the Tuesday at night after our some went to bed she put her head on my leg and I ended up giving her a back tickl3 as I normally would. When we were going to bed she asked if I wanted to cuddle for 5 mins which turned into 30min so I asked if she wanted me to leave which she said "I don't know" I ended up spending the night there and we also ended up making love that night which happened out of no where and was no my intentions at all.
The next day she asked me to sleep in the guestroom again as she was tired from the previous night and I didn't want to go against her so agreed of course.
This brings me onto last night where I could tell she had gone back to being cold with me so I tried to speak to her about all of this and she had said "she loves me but she doesn't know what she wants, she is used to doing it on her own now and that she just doesn't believe or trust anything I have said and that she just doesn't know what to say. She regretts the other night and since can't even hug me" which is something she has done before that night.
I just don't know what to do or say I mean there isn't much more I can say without repeating myself and I do truly mean everything I have said and its really fucking me up. I'm here for I would imagine another 2 or 3 days. I'm never going to stop proving to her that I want to make this right and that I am making changes to myself that should of been done a long time ago. we do work well together and get on so well I just hope someone can help me by giving me some advice as I have no one to confide in about this.
submitted by
Orgeo to
relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2023.03.31 17:21 primo_pastafarian Topic 5: Secure Communication: Signal for Messaging, and ProtonMail for Email
There are a lot of messenger apps out there for smartphones, all touting end-to-end encryption and privacy and blah blah blah...
Predictably, their claims are all bullshit. Facebook Messenger, and the popular WhatsApp that they acquired, might claim to have end-to-end encryption, but I'll eat my shoes if they don't have a copy of your encryption keys and decrypt and analyze all of your messages first. Especially being a US-based company, they definitely have secret orders to do this and not tell anyone.
ANY US-based messenger is off the table because of that, actually. If the company is based in the US (or any other of the major western surveillance states, or China or Russia), then it's a very good bet that they've been backdoored.
Telegram is a contender for secure messaging, but on principal I avoid it because they have they are closed-source and built their own encryption that we cannot audit. So it is inherently untrustworthy.
Signal doesn't have all the features of other messenger apps, if that's what you care about. But if you care about not being snooped on, it is the ONLY option.
It is free and open-source, allowing anyone to audit it or compile their own build. It is end-to-end encrypted for text, voice, and video chats. It supports self-destructing messages. It supports files up to 100 MB. It has both mobile and also desktop apps. It automatically strips metadata from photos sent through it. It keeps its messages in an encrypted data store, which cannot be read by other apps. It supports application locking via pin/password/biometrics.
The EFF has given Signal a perfect score in its secure messaging scorecard. It has been endorsed by Edward Snowden.
Most people here are probably using Gmail. Or iCloud, Yahoo, and I even some people that are still using Hotmail of all things.
I will admit, I still use Gmail. I want very badly to stop, but well, the cost of privacy is always convenience, and Google Calendar is simply too useful.
BUT, I do pay for a ProtonMail account (they do have a free option, btw). Yes, shocker, actually paying for email probably seems extremely strange. There are times I use Gmail (my 'public' email address), and there are times I use ProtonMail (for communication with friends and family).
This is the ONLY email service that is end-to-end encrypted and ISN'T saving copies of your encryption keys or analyzing the contents of your messages.
Say what you want about the Swiss - I'm not a fan of their culture of "neutrality", and doing business with "the bad guys" (aka, Germany back in the day, and Russia today). I think it's greedy and supports evil shit just so they can make a buck, and if you can't stand up to evil then you need to look in the mirror.
BUT. They do make a pretty great country for being the home of Signal, with good privacy laws and being great about information freedom and not bending over to let the Five Eyes+ enter them.
I don't want to make this post too long - I think you already get the point, and there are plenty of reading material out there if you want to do more research.
TLDR: If you need a secure messaging app, use Signal. And if you need secure email, use ProtonMail.
submitted by
primo_pastafarian to
ShadowWar [link] [comments]
2023.03.31 17:21 Leather-Assistant902 *originally posted 26/03/2023* I found this today. There is 10000 possible combinations which I’m going to work through methodically. I’m hoping to have it open sometime next week..
2023.03.31 17:21 Sharp_lemon56 Toby Fox is a splatoon fan
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submitted by
gabbyItgirl to
makeupexchange [link] [comments]
2023.03.31 17:21 BigBox88 Basement Crack (Need help identifying cause)
Hey everyone my friend has an unfinished basement and today after the rain he noticed a wet area (see pictures). On opening the insulation he saw a crack which grows from top to bottom. The bottom part is wet and the top is dry. This wall is shared with the neighbor and there is nothing on the neighbors side. there are no pipes/water sources nearby. We are trying to figure out if this crack due to shrinkage or is it something serious. Any help with this will be highly appreciated.
Pictures:
https://imgur.com/a/OGjAJbL submitted by
BigBox88 to
homerenovations [link] [comments]
2023.03.31 17:20 throwrayellowhandle How would you handle this situation?
Long story short:
My wife of nearly 20 years (we're in our late 30s) recently admitted to me that she cheated on me at the very start of our relationship, about 20 years ago. She had convinced herself over the years that the incidents happened before we were official and were just dating so they weren't technically cheating (and also convinced herself that she never needed to tell me), but I pointed out that at least one of the things was about a month after we were official. She's apologized a lot and admitted that she realizes now it was cheating, and she never considered herself someone who would do that before and now has to come to terms with that.
For me, this has resulted in a lot of just processing and rethinking the start of our relationship, because it was very different from what I thought it was, and the good memories of that early period have definitely been tainted. It also invalidates our "relationship anniversary" which was a date we celebrated that happened before the incidents I now know about. I've also had to grapple with the fact that my wife not only did this when she was an immature 18 year old, but that she also lied to my face about it for nearly 20 years (and yes, when I had asked about this time period before, she lied to me multiple times and said she was never with anyone else when we were dating or first together).
Otherwise, we've had a great relationship and marriage, we rarely fight, work together well as a team. I never really suspected that she's ever cheated again, and she has recently reassured me she never has.
Unfortunately, due to my newfound lack of trust in my wife and feeling like I don't truly know her, I also broke my wife's trust by looking through one of her journals, which I've since admitted to her and apologized for as I know it was wrong.
I read that a few years ago during a time when my work was very stressful and I was depressed for a few months, she wrote that she was intrigued by a man she met at the gym, and he seemed to be dropping hints to her. She wrote that her mind was betraying me with fantasies of things that could happen, but likely wouldn't, and that I was depressed and didn't have the energy to lust after her. I haven't talked to her about this part at all, but I could find no evidence of anything strange happening around that time. But it concerns me that it seemed to actually be a struggle in her mind at that time and she almost seemed to be justifying feeling that way by blaming me for my depression at the time, which really hurts.
She also wrote a lot about having dreams of her ex boyfriend from high school from 20 years ago, and not being able to get over her attraction to him (although he lives very far away and they haven't spoken at all in 20 years).
More recently about a year ago, she wrote that she was "infatuated by someone and didn't know how to work through it." I did talk with her about this part because I was terrified that she'd cheated on me recently. She lied about it at first, but eventually admitted that it's a colleague of hers she has authority over at work, and she "had a strong physical attraction to him." She claimed that she worked through it and it isn't a problem anymore even though they still work together, have one on one meetings in the office every week, etc.
Again, I found no evidence of anything happening between them and don't think there's any way anything happened. But they will continue to work together for the foreseeable future, which definitely is... uncomfortable. What concerns me is knowing my wife lied to my face even recently about our past, was able to convince herself that she was justified in lying about the start of our relationship, and seemingly has crushes or interests in other people on multiple occasions where it sounds actually somewhat tempting to her.... Maybe she was overdramatic in her journal, but by needing to write something out to process it, it strikes me as something she actually felt was a struggle worth processing, if that makes sense.
I know that I really shouldn't know about some of these things she's thought, and I know I shouldn't be the thought police and need to let things go. But should I be concerned, especially about the current colleague? Should there be any general things I keep an eye on, or ground rules to set? Or do we just work on our relationship and move on?
submitted by
throwrayellowhandle to
survivinginfidelity [link] [comments]
2023.03.31 17:20 AutoModerator [Get] Dan Koe – Digital Economics Masters Degree Full Course Download
| Get the course here: https://www.genkicourses.com/product/dan-koe-digital-economics-masters-degree/ Dan Koe – Digital Economics Masters Degree https://preview.redd.it/e5bm5i19z5pa1.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b38f3d722558909f9bfa22127af1347efd52b4ef What You Get Phase 0) Digital Economics 101 The Digital Economics 101 module will open 1 week prior to the cohort start date.This is an onboarding module that will get you up to speed so we can get straight into the material.This will be required to finish before the start date. - Gain a deep understanding of all of the pieces in the digital economy.
- Learn about the future of media and code — the front-end and backend of the internet — so you can focus your efforts.
- Understand digital leverage, distribution, no-code tools, and digital assets so you can take part in the mental & financial wealth transfer.
Phase 1) Creating A Meaningful Niche Every day I hear people going on and on about trying to find their niche.I also hear people talking about how they don’t know how to combine what they love talking about with *what will sell.*You already have the answer. You just don’t have the clarity. - Develop a long-term strategy to create your own niche — meaning you don’t have to worry about your “competition” playing status games.
- Discover your life’s work, curiosities, and obsessions. I see too many people that are uncertain about this for years.
- Cultivate and turn your vision, goals, and values into a brand that attracts an audience you love interacting with (and that will buy from you, and only you).
Phase 2) Content Strategy There is one thing that separates those who make it in the digital economy and those who don’t.It’s the quality, articulation, and perceived originality of their content.The content you post has to make sense to the people you attract.Everyone has a different voice and tone that they resonate with. **That they are congruent with and trust.**It has to change their thought patterns or behavior — that’s what makes you memorable.That’s what separates you from the sea of people posting surface-level copy-cat style posts.Example and putting my money where my mouth is: - Become an expert-level speaker or writer on the topics you care about.
- Never run out of content ideas for your posts or promotions (without using content templates — that’s how you stay a commodity).
- Create posts, blogs, tweets, images, and videos that resonate with other’s on a deep level. People will actually ask you how you got so good at what you do.
- Separate yourself from the ocean of B-tier creators that struggle to sell their products, services, andhave their ideas stick in the head of their audience.
- Implement our Epistemic Research Method — which is just a fancy way of saying scientific research method… but it’s for researching your mind to craft brilliant content and product ideas.
Phase 3) Crafting Your Offer Most people are sitting on a goldmine of skills, experience, and knowledge ( that they can use to help people 1-2 steps behind them).That is what people pay for.Considering 95% of the market are beginners… if you are good at something, you can help them get to your level ( no matter how “basic” you think the information is).Do you not watch basic content all day anyway? People don’t want new information, they want to be reminded of what works. - Use our Minimum Viable Offer strategy to start monetizing immediately (and have something to improve over time, rather than procrastinating until it’s perfect).
- Have a strategy for reducing the time you spend working over time (as you build leverage and improve your offer).
- Know how to create your own customers from the audience you are building, instead of “finding” the right customer for your offer.
- Take the guesswork out of building coaching, consulting, or digital product offers.
Phase 4) Marketing Strategy You aren’t making money because you aren’t promoting yourself or your offer.That is literally the only way to make money. Have something desirable and consistently put it in front of peoples’ faces.In Phase 4, I will show you how to systemize, automate, and be consistent with simple will be able to make money without having the chance of forgetting to do it (or letting fear of failure get in the way). - Learn to sell on social media, in your writing, and across different platforms.
- Have consistent sales coming in while focusing on your meaningful message (no need to sound salesy all the time).
- Learn advanced automation strategies that you can implement at your own pace, especially once you validate your offer.
Bonus) The Creator Command Center The Creator Command Center is a Notion template that houses all of the systems.This is how you will manage your brand, content, offer creation, marketing strategy, and systemized promotions for consistent sales. Bonus) Live Product Build & Launch In the first Digital Economics Cohort, I built out my course The 2 Hour Writer.I have videos showing how I build it with the strategies in phase 3 and 4.There is a bonus module that shows how I had an $85,000 launch that resulted in my first $100K month.I did this to prove the strategies inside Digital Economics work if you stick to the plan.***And, this past Black Friday, I blew my that monthly high out of the water in 4 days.***That’s the power of these strategies if you stay consistent with your life’s work. submitted by AutoModerator to Affordable_Courses [link] [comments] |
2023.03.31 17:20 BigBox88 Crack in basement (need help identifying the cause)
Hey everyone my friend has an unfinished basement and today after the rain he noticed a wet area (see pictures). On opening the insulation he saw a crack which grows from top to bottom. The bottom part is wet and the top is dry. This wall is shared with the neighbor and there is nothing on the neighbors side. there are no pipes/water sources nearby. We are trying to figure out if this crack due to shrinkage or is it something serious. Any help with this will be highly appreciated.
Pictures:
https://imgur.com/a/OGjAJbL submitted by
BigBox88 to
HomeImprovement [link] [comments]
2023.03.31 17:19 bananaramaworld Did I dodge a bullet or did I miss an opportunity?
So this company asked to interview me after seeing my resume. I was excited because I’m relatively new to the salaried positions world and this job paid $40k. The recruiter said she was very impressed with me and asked when I would be available for an interview. At my current job I can take my lunch whenever I feel like so if I wanted to take a breakfast I could. I told the recruiter I’m free anytime.
Well today I get a notification that my interview is tomorrow at 10am. Okay a bit last minute and on a Saturday but whatever… but then I get another email saying my NEW interview was in THIRTY MINUTES. I was in the middle of a work thing I could have cancelled if I knew what time the interview was going to be but at that point it was too late for me to just up and leave. I missed the interview.
I feel sad I won’t get the job :( but then again they didn’t give me much notice. What if I was sleeping or something and didn’t see the email (the email came in at around 8am). Im not sure how to feel. Should I call them?
submitted by
bananaramaworld to
recruitinghell [link] [comments]
2023.03.31 17:19 haloumiplease How can you show support to someone who isn't used to relying on others?
My partner is currently going through a tough time and hasn't been open about his thoughts/feelings (possibly not ready to talk about them yet). He's a pretty independent person and doesn't rely much on other people. I've asked if there's anything I can do to help/give support, he said no. I know tomorrow is going to be a very emotional and big day for him. Since he's given me "no", I'm inclined to take it at face value. I feel like he would appreciate emotional support but I don't know how to approach it because I've always been met with a "no" whenever I've asked
submitted by
haloumiplease to
NoStupidQuestions [link] [comments]
2023.03.31 17:18 7nationarmy A shockingly intact 1960s era Acme supermarket in Clayton (Gloucester County). These were taken in 2016. The store is amazingly still open today! Featured on the Facebook page Remembering Retail.
2023.03.31 17:18 TopPomegranate4432 Shares.io – get an easy free £5 share for a £1 deposit (no need to invest)
Shares.io is an investment platform and has a super easy way to get a free £5 share for a £1 top-up.
Sign up via a referral link, make a £1 deposit (no need to invest it and you can withdraw it when the free share lands), then you’ll be awarded a free £5 of your choice almost instantly. You do need to leave it for 30 days before you sell and cash out!
How to get your free £5 bonus on Shares: - Sign up using my referral link – DM me here as publicly posted links might disqualify you from cashing out the free share, and you probably don't want to wait the required 30 days only to find that out :). Open the link directly on your mobile phone. Have your ID ready as you’ll need to photograph it for verification.
- Choose your stock
- Make a £1 deposit via bank transfer (no need to invest, just leave it in your account, you can withdraw after you receive your share)
- Your free £5 worth of chosen stock will appear in your account almost immediately
- Feel free to withdraw your initial £1 deposit if you wish. BUT leave the free £5 share alone for 30 days (make a note in your calendar), then you can sell and cash out to your bank account! If you attempt to sell it ahead of time, you’ll lose the £5, so just exercise a bit of patience with this one 😊. I actually ended up with £7 worth of shares after the 30 days as my stock rose in value, so the lock-in period worked in my favour!
LINKS - My referral link (for £5 free share): DM me here for the link as publicly posted links might disqualify you from cashing out the free share
- Non-referral: https://shares.io/
submitted by
TopPomegranate4432 to
beermoneyuk [link] [comments]
2023.03.31 17:18 fairaerolite i’m in love with someone who loves someone else.
so there’s this girl, let’s call her v.
v is the girl i want to spend my life with. she’s so beautiful in every way, i love her more than anything and i would gladly choose her over myself again and again and again, as many times as i had to. she’s my best friend. i spent so long denying my attraction and love for her because of internalized misogyny that i lost my chance with her. we dated for a little while when i identified as a bisexual boy but it was never quite right. she loved me so much but i didn't give her all the love i should have.
now i’ve come out again as a demigirl lesbian but i’m too late. i didn’t tell her how i felt early/obviously enough. she went back to her ex-girlfriend.
so i told her, and she said that she had feelings for me too but she has a girlfriend and oh my god, i don’t think i’ve ever experienced anything this emotionally painful before.
the worst thing about it all is that her girlfriend is so perfect, she's everything i'm not. she’s so funny and she makes her laugh and smile and they love each other so much. i can't find a single flaw with her, she's smart and beautiful and they’re amazing together.
and i’m just the best friend, her queerplatonic partner. that isn’t enough for me. i want to be her girlfriend and her wife.
submitted by
fairaerolite to
TrueOffMyChest [link] [comments]
2023.03.31 17:18 Gamblor29 Weird goo on my equipment
| After several years of not playing, I finally dragged my equipment out of the basement. I kept it for about 5 years in an open hockey bag. When I went to put it on, I discovered this brown sticky substance inside my pants. It is dry to the touch but leaves a oily, sticky residue. It also crumbles when I try to rub it between two fingers and pulls apart easily. I only noticed it after the game when I found it all over my gitch and jock strap. It came off my fingers with just a bit of water and soap. Does anyone know what this is and how to wash it out of my hockey pants? submitted by Gamblor29 to hockeyplayers [link] [comments] |
2023.03.31 17:18 Sufficient-Engine514 I'm 34, make 210k a year, and just started paying down 170k of student loan debt while paying for fertility treatments.
Background
Me: 34F
Jobs: Consultant
Location: East Coast
Goal: Finding the balance between paying off my six-figure student debt while still enjoying life post failed fertility treatments.
Current Debt and Assets
DEBT
Credit card debt: $2,200 approximately. I usually never go more than 2 months without paying it off completely to keep me honest.
Personal loans: $0
Medical debt: $0
Student loan debt: $125,303.17 with 3.301% interest. I had a scholarship to undergrad. For my graduate degree, I took out 150k of loans. In the 4 years after graduate school where I was paying the minimum payment, the loan amount grew to $171,000. I paid off approximately 57k in the past 18 months (although because interest is so high, only 46k of that went to principal.)
Auto loans: $0 – My husband and I have had a ton of bad luck the past few years but one thing we were fortunate about is buying two used cars around 22k each right before the new and used car market went crazy. We paid them both off within 3-4 months of purchasing them. I used to think I would just lease a car because I had this idea that all used cars break down constantly but I’m glad my husband disabused me of notion because with some TLC, my car should last me a long time and with all the spending on gas and tolls, I am so thankful to not have a car payment.
Savings balance: $1,000. My husband and I used to have a very large savings/rainy day fund (30k-ish) but we’ve spent the past 3 years going through fertility treatments that have really eaten away at our savings. This amount of savings is pretty antithetical to how judicious we both are about money but we both have good job security and could cash out our investment accounts with penalty if we really needed it so we haven’t prioritizied replenishing it. That, and we are very emotionally spent after the past few years.
Checking account balance: $460.55
Crypto portfolio: $0. I don’t have the risk tolerance for this.
House: Bought for $580,000, now worth ~$700,000. Still owe around 545k.
Assets:
401K: ~$140,000. I max out my contribution to my 401k. I did not start contributing to this until I was 27 but all my past employers have had generous matches which has helped.
ROTH IRA: ~$11,000. My husband and I have a joint ROTH IRA that we’ve maxed out every year for past 4-5 years. All our accounts have taken a beating this year, not unlike everyone else, so these numbers used to be much higher. Keep reminding myself to play the long game!
Brokerage Account $6,000. I’d like to be more aggressive with this but we’re doing our best at the moment.
Income
I am currently working full-time as a tech consultant. I’ve only been here a year, but I love the work and the benefits are generous. The job is very stressful and a bit hectic sometimes but it’s hard to imagine I’ll get everything I have at this job elsewhere, so I plan to stay awhile a while.
Main Job Monthly Take Home: ~$4,825 2x/month
Side Gig Monthly Take Home: $0. I joked with my husband I should start bartending to keep up with my student loan payments and IVF costs, but he wouldn’t stand for it.
Other Income: I sometimes do other work with modest honorariums that probably only bring in around $2k a year. This year is an outlier thought and I will get almost $9k.
Total Income: ~$4,825. I don’t account for other income into my budget and whatever I get just gets chucked towards student loans.
Monthly Expenses
Rent: $1550 (Half of my mortgage. My husband has VA Loan so we didn’t need a down payment for the house, just closing costs, which is why our mortgage may seem a little high. We also live in a HCOL area so this probably seems high but this is not far off from what we paid for rent living in the city, so this wasn’t a hard jump for us financially.
Debt payments: Anywhere from $1700 (the minimum) to $4000, depending on the month.
Utility Bills: ~$200 (I pay)
Cellphone + Internet: $150 (Husband pays)
Subscriptions: $150 (Husband pays)
Car Insurance: $100 (Covers both of us, husband pays)
Dining Out: $150-250. We very rarely go out to eat especially in the past few years because of pandemic and IVF but we’re trying to get in the habit of doing so once a month to enjoy ourselves. We're more likely to order in with UberEats or something. My husband usually pays even though it goes on our joint CC, he usually pays it off.
Shopping: Wildly fluctuates but anywhere from 500 to nothing. The older I’ve gotten the easier it is for me to avoid impulse buys.
Groceries: $1200-1500 – I pay for all groceries and house toiletries like soap, toothpaste, medicine, etc. One of the things we splurge on is high quality meats, organic fruits and vegetables, blah blah blah etc. This lifestyle change hasn’t made any difference in our IVF success unfortunately but we both couldn’t deny how great we felt eating that way, so we continue to do so despite me sometimes wincing at the cumulative cost. I make almost double what my husband does, so I take over a slightly higher percentage of our monthly bills but not by much because we both agreed I should prioritize paying down my student loans. He also covers dog food, treats, and medicine for both our dogs which really adds up and those more random, quarterly house expenses like Home Depot visits, pest control, buying a new mower, lawn care, and other things that come up more than you think (Home owners know the struggle). Once my debt is paid down, we will probably revisit the split of monthly expenses to see what makes sense.
Cleaning: $165/month (I pay) Having a house cleaner is one of those luxuries I would never give up. I’d rather cut back on dining out, shopping, etc if someone could come once a month to clean. We also have two big dogs, so it feels less of a luxury and more of a necessity.
Pet Insurance $80/month, covers both dogs (I pay)
Gas: $300 (I have a long commute and I go into the office almost every day)
Tolls: $225
Parking: $0 Work covers this, thank goodness!
Health Insurance: $0. My work covers health insurance for me and my husband. Huge bonus I don’t take for granted.
Total Expenses: I’ve estimated it is roughly around $6,500 a month at least for my portion of bills, assuming I’ve only paid the minimum of my student loans.
Debt Diary
2006 – Started college at a public university where I got free tuition from a combination of my mom’s job and my good grades. We still owed room and board which my parents covered for the most part and then took out loans to cover the rest when they divorced. My stepdad paid off the remaining balance of around 8k for me in my mid-twenties.
2010 – Graduated and moved to abroad for four years. Got great experience but pay was very low so no savings and no financial planning at all.
2014: Started my graduate degree back in the U.S.. Took out *all* the loans for this to include living expenses (150k). During this time I wanted to be a public servant so I felt confident my loans would be paid off after 10 years through Public Student Loan Forgiveness (PSLF) program. That’s not exactly how it worked out.
2016: Graduated and started my first “big girl” job at 27 making around $75,000 . This is the first time I started contributing to a 401k. I was working for a 401c3 so I qualified to start paying into the PSLF program. My loan payments, based on my income at the time was around $350-400 monthly. I got modest raises over the next few years that brought me to 85k before I switched jobs. During these four years, my student loans ballooned to 170k because I was only paying the minimum.
2020: My husband and I cancel our wedding and honeymoon (covid) but still get married. Got a new job that finally got me a low six figure salary (120k) but was in the private sector so still paying minimum on student loans but no longer was making qualified payments for student loan forgiveness. Thought I might still go back into government/nonprofit world.
2021: Changed jobs – same ish salary @ 125k, still in the private sector. Start what will be many rounds of unsuccessful rounds of IVF. I think the total cost has been somewhere around 80k. My husband’s grandmother has helped us a lot which I quite literally don’t know what we would do without, but it’s still been very financially, emotionally, and mentally taxing. Wasted a lot of money on supplements and acupuncture that didn’t help.
2022: Started at the job I have now. Base started at 175,000 plus 25% bonus. In the first year I got a promotion and a 20% raise, so I now make 210,000. This is when I realize that this is the career I enjoy and will likely not go back government service in the future or at least not long enough to participate in student loan forgiveness program. I also do the math and realize if I continue to pay the minimum of income-based repayment (based on my now much higher pay) I will end up paying 3-4x the loan amount over the course of my life. I decide to privatize my loans and choose a 10 year pay off plan because I want to be somewhat aggressive about it, hence the relatively high minimum payment of $1700. Despite the good interest rate (3% ish) the principal is so high that $400 of that goes to interest. It’s why I’d like to aggressive pay it down now, if for no other reason than to get the interest payments down.
2023: I’m told after many failed rounds of IVF, I’m unable to have genetic children. We start figuring out how we will afford other ways to build our family, all of which cost in the tens of thousands. Fortunately, (?) I’ve gotten my student loans down to 125k.
Now: Between canceling our wedding, our honeymoon, living through a pandemic and years of fertility struggles and awful treatments, I am now re-thinking how aggressively I’ve been paying down debt this past year. Approaching getting pregnant and debt payment both as a sprint and not a marathon has done me no favors. I also just want my husband and I to enjoy life a little bit given all our struggles. We both work so hard, and I want to make sure we’re making time (and money) on the things that make us happy. I also realize we need to figure out how we’ll pay to expand our family which overwhelms me but I’m trying to treat this just as a second marathon, not a sprint.
Reflection
Do I regret my student loans?
Despite my six figure loans living rent free in my mind constantly, it’s hard to regret taking them because I can’t imagine how else I would have built the career I have now, which I love and am very grateful for. My career is everything I always hoped for and more although sometimes I lose sight of that in the daily grind. Grad school was so time consuming it’s also hard to imagine how I would have worked at the same time and made enough money to make a meaningful difference in my bills. And I focused a lot of time on substantive internships that would help demonstrate my ability to shifting gears into a different career which I do think paid off in more ways than one. This new career path that I’m on also opens a lot of doors for me to continue to be a higher earner so in the long run, this amount of debt, while daunting and a bit menacing, is somewhat of a first world problem. It will get paid off. My only concern is if something catastrophic happened, since my loans are private, I would still have a very high mandatory minimum payment. Again, both my husband and I have a lot of job security and could always cash out our investment accounts, heaven forbid something awful happened. I think because the past few years have been so mentally taxing, I have very little bandwidth for regret.
Impact of Infertility
It is probably also worth noting that dealing with years of infertility and infertility treatments only to be told ultimately that I’m unable to have [genetic] children has changed who I am as a person and how I see life. We spent 3 years of our life in a pandemic lockdown and then in back-to-back all-consuming aggressive fertility treatments. I feel like we lost so much time and had very little levity during those times. I still plan on being diligent about paying off my debt and investing, but I want to cut myself some slack and allow my husband and myself to live a little, travel and just spend time enjoying our lives instead of just focusing on destinations (of having children and debt pay off).
Generational Wealth
The city I live in is filled with lots of wealthy people and many a times I’ve been in conversations where people ask where you sailed in the summer and skied in the winter, like it’s a given that everyone does this (lol). Most of the people I went to grad school with had their school paid off from family (plus help with a down payment for a house and wedding costs), and it occurs to me over and over how critical a role generational wealth can play in setting someone up for an incredibly easier life. My husband and I grew up middle class (which still conferred a lot of privilege that is never lost on us) but would like to make sure we have saved money for our [eventual] kids college so they’re not saddled with debt – and thinking about other investment accounts we could open for them to start generational wealth. Without my student loan debt, I could have an additional 200k to invest which would have meaningful impact on my kid’s and kid’s kid’s life when invested correctly. I don’t dwell too much on this though, at least anymore, but rather something I consider when planning for the future. Both my husband and I are still grateful for the advantages and privilege we still did and continue to have. Oddly, getting more interested in personal finance has made me feel more neutral about money which I appreciate.
Husband’s Influence
I also have to credit a lot of good money habits to my husband who was a really great influence on me on the importance of making consciousness steps to get a better credit score, invest aggressively, etc. I was definitely living for a good time not a long time up until I met him lol. We still prioritize spending money on fun without guilt but now I enjoy the process about making sure we’re set up well for the future.
Thank you for reading. I'm feeling a bit vulnerable talking about this stuff so please be gentle with me :').
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2023.03.31 17:17 Orange-_-Monkey Worried about telling my psychiatrist I’m not doing well
The past week I can feel myself slipping back into a depression after being a bit hypomanic for a few weeks. I’d just been cleared to go back to work after Easter (I’ve had 4 months off) and so I was already a bit anxious about that and then my employer announced a tonne of redundancies would be made to cut costs which set me off into a pattern of worry that I just can’t pull myself out of. Then I met with the colleague in charge of my return to work and she was saying some not so great things about my hypomania being a superpower and that I should use it when I need a boost on a project (not sure she gets that’s not how it works). I’m worried that she will try to make it happen when they need someone to work extra hard.
The paranoia has started and I have had some (not bad) auditory hallucinations today and I thought I saw a celebrity earlier who I know is dead which I know could just be a lookalike but I’m worried about it.
I’m worried that if I tell my psychiatrist he will say not to go back to work and also in the back of my mind I’m worried he will leave me because that’s what my previous therapist did when things got really bad a few months ago. I don’t know what to do or who to turn to. Do psychiatrists give up on people as much as therapists do?
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2023.03.31 17:17 ryaninjaa Earbuds for positional audio
Looking into getting some earbuds for regular use and Valorant. Does anyone know how much positional audio is impacted from using earbuds (compared to open-back headphones)?
I'm sure earbuds would not be as good, but does the game feel significantly worse to play (i.e. can't tell where people are coming from, etc.)?
(also not using an audio interface in case that makes a difference)
Thanks!
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2023.03.31 17:17 Apple___Eater Activity suggestions for 5 night stay on the big island
Hello!
I am going to Hawaii for my honeymoon the end of May. Our first stop is 8 nights on Maui where we have a condo and plan to relax. We then have ~4.5 usable days on the Big Island and looking for recommendations of hikes & what else to do. I know we won't be able to do everything in that amount of time. We will take the early flight from Maui to the Big Island & renting a Jeep (if we do the summit).
Also looking for suggestions of where to stay. For this 2nd half of our trip we want to do a lot of hiking and outdoor activities (in our late 20s). My initial plan was to stay at the Royal Kona as I've never stayed at a resort & it's easier than splitting between 2 places. I've seen people suggest staying a few nights in HVNP though. We definitely want to do lots of hiking there.
Would it make sense to go straight to HVNP & stay 2 nights at a VRBO/Airbnb & then the last 3 nights at Royal Kona? Maybe stop at green sands/South point & black beach on the way the first day, hiking HVNP the next 2 days, & snorkel/relax at a beach the final 2?
I also wanted to go to Mauna Kea summit, but not sure how to fit that and HVNP both in. Is Mauna Kea best to visit at night for stargazing or is it also good for hiking during the day?
I've also heard the night manta ray snorkeling is incredible. My fiancee isn't a strong swimmer so I would have to do that by myself. Would people still recommend doing that?
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2023.03.31 17:17 Lostinprogress89 Christians are going to be the reason why some people won’t meet the lord
I’ve posted on here a couple of days ago , about myself and got some good answers but I’m still confused on the topic about salvation. There are so many contradictions between Christians and the denominations it’s hard not to be confused. For example, I’m gay I’ve abstain from the lifestyle and trying to get more of a connection with God. I have people tell me gays go to hell, others say it isn’t, that scripture is referring to men trying to rape angels. You have people tell you all sin is the same in gods eyes, other tell you there are sins there are different levels ( I’m not including the unforgivable sins of blasphemy of the Holy Spirit). So how is someone, like me, with little knowledge suppose to know? Reading the Bible can only get you so far when you are just starting out. I’m suppose to turn to my brothers and sisters in Christ for help but my one question has 5 different answers. For the longest time i didn’t talk to God because I was told I’m predestined for hell. Only when a pastor talked to me did he welcome me with open arms did I start talking to God again ( getting baptized April 30th). How as a “new” Christian do I look at for the real and fake ones? This is why people have fears of gaining.maintaining, losing their salvation and hesitant on becoming a Christian.
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2023.03.31 17:17 ramses_the_7th Black Screens and GPU fans full blast
Black screens and gpu fans at full blast
Posting specs up here so you know
CPU: Intel i9 10900k Motherboard: GIGABYTE Z490 VISION G GPU: Gigabyte RTX 3090 GAMING OC 24 GB Ram: 32GB (2x16GB) 3600mhz Corsair Vengeance RGB Pro PSU: 850W Gigabyte GP 80+ Gold Storage: 2TB NVME Samsung 980 Pro
Hello, around january I started having an issue while playing games such as Beat Saber and Fortnite. With my beefy PC, I got the PSU to be able to support any high power draw as all calculators recommended up to 700W. I knew I was gonna be gaming heavily on this thing when I bought it in April of 2022. Its been great until january when the problem started.
Sooooo the problem. While playing games with the graphics turned up, after a while both my screens would go black and my gpu fans would ramp up to over 100% speed. This wouldn't disable the computer, as I can hear audio and talk on discord. The only way to recover is to cycle power to the PC.
That's how it started out. As of a month ago, it started doing this more often. When it occurred right as I booted the PC, that's when I knew something was wrong. I spent the past 4 weeks troubleshooting my system, and I was unsuccessful. Two days ago I turned on my PC to do my taxes and it took 18 attempts to finally get into the PC, it would do the black screen fans full blast thing instantly and sometimes id be able to get to the login screen.
Okay so now the part you will probably ask about, what exactly did I do to troubleshoot this issue? Well, just about everything I COULD do without voiding the warranty on the system or firing the parts cannon. My efforts are as follows:
GPU: Reinstalled graphics driver Rolled back graphics driver Installed studio driver instead of game ready driver Unvervolt and lower the clock Overclocking (bc why not) Setting the fan speed to 100 preemptively Monitored the temperature Monitored the power draw Checked the power connections from the psu to the gpu Checked the pcie slot and also changed slots Held the gpu up to be more level Ran one daisey chain cable to the gpu instead of two separate cables Switched to silent bios mode instead of oc mode Uninstalled the drivers Uninstalled the entire device and let windows reinstall upon restart
MOTHERBOARD: Updated bios version to current Checked for any updates Tweaked bios with just about every setting Ran default bios settings Removed battery on MB to reset bios Unplugged everything and plugged everything back in Monitored temps and power
RAM: Ran memtest86 Ran windows memory diagnostic Switched ram sticks Switched dimm slots
CPU: Ran Intel diagnostics Ran intel's update tool Checked temps and power Overclocked and underclocked
PSU: Ran OCCT to monitor power Used OCCT and hwinfo to check power Swapped cables in the ports to rule out faulty ports
...and I found...nothing! Nothing I did fixed or even improved my issue. All my tests came back perfectly normal and the only thing I learned is that my components are all in good condition. Everything is updated, everything is nice and cool, the system power draw never got above 730W.
So as you can see, I have been busy. Whenever I wasn't at work I was troubleshooting this poor PC trying to fix or at the very least diagnose the problem properly.
I purchased the PC through LyteTech through their pc building website and I have been in contact with them for a few weeks, and after sharing my efforts and trying some of their suggestions, the only thing left to do is to send the PC back for repair. All I have to pay is shipping since its still under warranty. They said they will investigate my issue and repaireplace whatever needs it at no extra cost.
Obviously I can't open the gpu up to reapply thermal paste or check for bad capacitors because that would void the warranty and id be screwed. Same goes for the power supply. I'm not going to try swapping parts with different ones to rule out components, because I don't have any spare pc components lying around. This is my first desktop PC lmao. I figured sending it in for repair is my only option if I don't wanna buy all new components that may not even be bad. I know for a fact it isn't the ram or ssd.
So I think I need to mention this. This issue seems to be very common with gigabyte hardware. I did my research on the issue and with the windows crash dump files was able to determine there is a hardware issue present. However, it doesn't give that crash dump for every time it crashes, only about 10% of the time. Lots of people have this issue, and they end up finding completely different root causes such as bad thermal paste on the gpu, faulty psu, faulty cables, overheating cpu, bad pcie slot, or incorrect drivers. None of these seem to be the case for me, except for the thermal paste bc warranty.
So that's my story, now you know everything. Let me know what you think about my issue.
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2023.03.31 17:17 NotAHappySunshine Idk what to name it yet pt. 4
Sorry I haven’t posted in a while y’all! I have been really busy!!! If you have not read the other parts read them and come back! Thanks! Anyways on to the story!
03/19/23 W a T s i S h i T h FEELING?
03/20/23 I
03/21/23 Should
03/22/23 Have
03/23/23 Died.
03/30/23 I feel like I got thrown into existence. I felt my body heave as I gasped for air. My eyes immediately opened. I was surrounded by one person. He was right in front of me, and on the sides of me, and getting something from the drawer in the back of the room. He was everywhere. On every computer there were files plastered with my name, they were all medical information about me. My blood type (B+), the procedures preformed on me without my knowledge, every time and reason I was in any medical facility. Too many sounds, people, words. Too. Much.
03/31/23 My eyelids feel like closed shutters. They need to open. I feel myself breathing in and out, there is some sort of tube down my throat, it feels like a hard plastic. It kind of hurts. I feel someone looking at me, I feel their eyes boring into me. The is a machine beeping, it makes a sound every time I breathe. I pause for a second, the machine forces air into my lungs, no beep. I hear a sigh. I recognize it as Eric’s. I breathe on my own again, another beep sounds again. I can almost hear his smile. I want to look at him, I want to talk to him, but it feels impossible. My eyes won’t open, my throat has a tube shoved down it, and I can’t move. Eric lets his hand fall and meet my side. I tense at the sudden feeling. I miss human contact. I am feeling a rush of emotions I haven’t felt in a while. So many feelings. So much. Too much.
04/01/23 Today I opened my eyes and saw Eric. Instead of seeing one Eric, I see many. I and thought I hit my head last time this happened, but I guess it is real. Eric is hovering over me, typing away at a computer, opening drawer after drawer, pacing back and forth, drawing out liquid into a syringe, and laying on the floor. My eyes widen and Eric notices that I can see, well one of them? He says an unpleasant word that would have gotten me smacked in the face when I was younger. Instantly the rest of the Eric’s disappear in to nothingness. What the fuck? Eric lunges across the room in an almost feral way and grabs a needle sitting on the counter. He runs back and before I can do anything he shoves it in my neck. I feel the push back as my skin tries to resist the needle. I feel the break when the tension falls and the liquid is able to diffuse. When my eyes close and I feel a deep tug into the world of slumber I am hoping to avoid. I feel a single kiss placed gently on my forehead. Then the little resistance I was fighting to keep falters and I give way to the tug.
04/02/23 Something keeps trying to keep me down in the darkness. In the ocean of unknown, the sea of mysteries, the pond of… uhh pondering? Whatever term you prefer, I am stuck in it. I am being drowned, I can’t move, I can barely think. I need out. I need out. I need it now. I am stuck. I am stuck. I am stuck in the river of questioning, wanting to swim to the shore of answers. I am unable. I am stuck in the darkness where I don’t belong.
04/03/23 I am restless. I feel my weight sinking into the mattress. I need to get up. I feel my foot leave the fabric surface and then fall back down. I feel my hand start shaking. It feels painful yet amazing to be able to move this body of marble and stone. I want to look. I want to see the world around me. I don’t want slow progress, I want to move more. I want to run, skip, flee. In reality I want to be free.
04/04/23 I have been moving more and more. So far I have been able to sit up. I have the feeling Eric wants me to stay asleep. I still can’t open my eyes. Every time I hear a gush of air I fall flat back. I realized that meant the door was opening. I hear Eric do this deep sigh often. He talks to me, I don’t think he knows I hear him. He places a kiss somewhere on my face every time he comes in. On my forehead, cheek, chin. He put one on the skin below my lip earlier. It is hard not to flinch. I want to see. I want to know why. I want.
04/05/23 I fell today. I sat up, swung my legs around, and stood up. I went face first into the floor. I heard footsteps outside the door and quickly got up. As I was hearing the hiss of air I lied down. Eric came in and shut the door. He walked toward me, his footsteps were heavier than usual. He bent down over me and whispered, “I know you are awake. Just let me know and I will let you be able to see, I know you can’t dear.” He let out a small laugh as he walked to the other side of the room. I can’t contain the feeling of my heart beating fast. It is painful. Eric walks back and I am trying to keep myself from shaking. “Just let me know I am not talking to myself. If you really are asleep I doubt you would mind another little shot.” He holds the needle to my throat and I feel the metal tip brushing my skin. He pushes the needle in and wiggles it around. I need to contain the want to scream. “I know this hurts dear. Don’t worry if you are awake I will take this needle out right now. I know this feels like torture.” He wiggles the needle around more, it hurts so bad. Why is he doing this? He stops. Removes the needle and walks away. I hear something open and close. He walks back and leans over me. “I think I must be going crazy dear, you are so… ugh I can’t describe it.” He places a kiss on the spot below my lips and sighs. He pushes me over to my side and lies next to me. I can feel the moment he falls asleep. I am somehow relaxed in this moment.
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