Hi! This is the first post in what I hope to be (about) a 7 part series following the adventures of a human destroyer with a crew who was not trained for diplomacy becoming the last chance for peace between two alien species who aren’t very happy that their first contact with humanity is a purpose-built warship blundering into their space. Kida sorta. This is my first time writing anything like this, or really anything at all for public viewership, so feedback is welcome!
This is the prologue, the framing sequence is kinda vague here, this is mostly just to set up the main cast of this show and the titular gunboat, the UNS Crazy Train, so apologies if it drags a bit in a couple places, but I figured it’d be best to exposit now and focus on a more character driven story later (unless y'all really like exposition). Future chapters will probably use the memory transcription framing sequence, the next one will for sure, but I'm not great at writing in first person, so it depends after that. I’m aiming for one post a week, but IRL may have other plans for me.
Credit to u/SpacePaladin15 for his original series, The Nature of Predators, It is very good! Read it if you haven’t because, 1:why are you on the NoP subreddit without reading NoP? Silly. And 2:None of this will probably make sense unless you already know a good chunk of NoP’s plot.
I started working on this before part 98 came out, but this story is not set in the primary canon, so effectively that's about where it diverges from the normal timeline. I'll do my best to avoid contradicting lore from before 99 wherever possible!
That's enough introduction, on with the prologue!

Historical Record: July 12th, 2137
“Captain Krenshaw?”
The captain didn’t look up from his datapad, beckoning the visitor into his office. Probably just another new batch of paperwork for me to sign. While he was enthusiastic about captaining the UNS Crazy Train, the first in the UN’s new class of siege-breaker destroyers, he hadn’t anticipated the amount of documents he would have to sign and submit before. Liability waivers for every new piece of equipment on board, confirmations of deliveries of a dozen different ammo types, and signing the admittance documents for every one of the six hundred and thirty souls on board. Maybe the engineers have a new type of wrench they need approval to distribute to the workstations, he thought with a rueful smile.
The ship had been scheduled to launch five days prior, but the fueling shuttle had somehow brought fuel rods half again too long to fit in the reactor, and so the geniuses in engineering had figured out a way to cut them down to size. It was faster than waiting for replacements, but by no means a fast process, and some logistician had decided to take advantage of the ship sitting in dry dock above Mars and managed to add thirty tons of cargo to the manifest.
“The last of the ammunition has been loaded, we have one last matter to attend to before we are cleared for cast off.” The visitor said while handing him a clipboard.
The captain stood, recognizing the voice of Commander Wilson, his second in command and long time friend. If the commander was hand-delivering a hard copy, this must be an important piece of cargo. A cursory reading of the document proved him right, much to his consternation.
“We’re transporting war criminals now, Hanah? I thought four hundred incendiary bombs for the Fissan’s new “terraforming” project was a bit much, Lieutenant Kiref was already complaining about how he wouldn’t get any time to train with his marines with all this guard duty, and now he’s going to have to have to incorporate at least ten people into prisoner watch.”
Wilson shrugged. “I tried to argue with them, but apparently these criminals need to be delivered to the Venlil High Courts pronto. UN command wants any Arxur sympathetic to our cause to know that we don’t use exterminator tactics on defectors.”
Krenshaw sighed, “Great, just what I need to be worried about, racist pyromaniacs on a ship packed to the brim with napalm charges. I suppose I should go and talk to them before we set off, acceptable conduct and all that.” He rolled his eyes. “We’re ready to go other than that?”
Wilson nodded, and Krenshaw followed her out of his office, leaving her in the battle bridge to make final preparations, while the captain got in a lift down to the dock connecting them to the Martian Shipyards.
As he passed the levels, he again marveled at the warship he was now in command of. The Crazy Train was not a particularly large ship, coming in at just under half a klick long and a quarter of that in width and an eighth in height, but the armor made her literally second to none. While the lower half of her twin hulls were armored comparably to any other human warship, the top halves were covered and connected by a series of armor plates collectively thicker than the wingspan of Earth’s largest fighter, not even including spacing. In order to account for her massive weight, the four primary propulsion thrusters (one at the front and rear of each hull) could rotate to face straight down for atmospheric flight.
Her design had been the result of information gleaned during the UN Shadow Fleet’s marauding attack through Chief Hunter Shaza’s sector, notably the complete lack of any anti-capital ship weapons on the surface of any of the Arxur cattle worlds. A conversation with some of the Arxur sympathetic to humanity, and interrogation of one of the cattle farm overseers revealed the reason: apparently, about sixty years ago a cattle world had been drained of guards for another all-out attack, leaving just under one hundred Arxur in charge of roughly three thousand Mazics. One stampede later, and the Arxur had lost control of the farm and all of its anti-starship heavy plasma railguns. The facility was removed with antimatter bombs, but over a hundred bombers were lost in an operation that, had the guns not been operational, could have been handled by three or four. Rather than rework their entire military strategy to rely on smaller, more flexible forces that didn’t require reducing entire galactic sectors to skeleton crews, the Arxur just moved all the heavy guns to orbital installations.
As a result, the UN commissioned three new classes of warship under “Project Rustler,” with the objective of creating purpose-built warships for eliminating orbital defense platforms and liberating cattle farms. The designers of the Crazy Train had come up with the quintessentially human tactic of building a ship so heavily armored and with such powerful engines that she could hard burn past the platforms, dumping dozens of boarding torpedoes and enough countermeasures to cloak a small fleet in her wake, hover above the farm, drop the onboard detachment of marines to the surface, rescue as many cattle as possible, and escape virtually unharmed due to the upper armor plate being thick enough to take dozens of shots that would split a larger ship in two in stride.
Captain Krenshaw’s musings were interrupted by the bell indicating someone else was getting on the lift. The doors slid open, and the massive form of an Arxur blocked the doorway before quickly ducking inside the elevator.
“Mornin’ Captain” growled Lieutenant Kiref, crouching slightly to avoid whacking his head on the seven foot tall ceiling. “I’m heading down to the docks to take delivery of that batch of prisoners. Where are you headed?”
“Same place actually, I figured you might need some help.”
The Lieutenant waved his tail to indicate his skepticism. “Captain, I am more than capable of taking delivery of three Venlil, who are already cuffed. If they are that heavy, I can requisition some marines to help drag their bodies to their cells after they faint. Why are we hauling prisoners anyway? The version of the orders I got were blocked out.”
“Kiref, these are war criminals, exterminators deployed with the UN army on an Arxur scientific research base.”
Kiref cut in, “Well at least they should be accustomed to seeing sentient predator species then, shouldn’t that make them easier to handle?”---”Sir?” quickly correcting his mistake. Captain Krenshaw is tolerant of a lack of decorum, but I really need to get the hang of these human honorifics for the next time I have to justify my service to some admiral Kiref internally chastised himself.
“They were found by their commanding officer after having burned several defectors to death, so I think fainting is nowhere near the worst situation we could have.” Kiref’s yellow slitted eyes went wide, then narrowed with anger. “What’s more, there was another defector who was still on fire, and survived, so this will definitely go public. The UN wanted to try the exterminators at the Hague, make sure everybody else knows that’s not how humanity treats defectors and POWs, but Tarva insisted that they be tried on Venlil Prime. The UN wants to announce the trial before the story breaks, so the prisoners are taking the next ship to Venlil Prime, which is us.”
“Thanks for the heads up, and glad to know the ship’s leaving soon.” The captain nodded in agreement to the last sentiment, as the doors to the lift opened, revealing the ready deck, which was supposed to be kept clear for troops and equipment for planetary landings, but which was currently packed to the brim with shipping containers full of napalm and canned fruit. The pair made their way through the labyrinth to the airlock connecting the Crazy Train to the dock, Kiref taking note of the lack of any dropships within the hangar.
“Captain, has there been any word on when we will be taking on any landing vessels, and of what type they may be? I was hoping to run disembarkation drills with the landing party.”
“Some new Nevok design they don’t want to be sending the schematics over long range broadcast, probably a good idea given how poor the cybersecurity on those old Fed transmitters is.” The captain replied, with a chuckle at the last part. “You should have at least some time to train on the way to the rest of the fleet. I understand you had planned on using the ready deck to train for surface combat, but since that isn’t an option, I’ll set aside the living quarters and sickbay for the freed prisoners as a simulation for boarding actions.”
Kiref swung his tail in a gesture of appreciation. “I thank you for your consideration sir. I will make sure my men will be capable of securing any ship in the Dominion or Federation within less than a half an hour after boarding.”
Stepping through the airlock, the pair walked onto the dock, which was as large as a highway, and populated sparsely by crewmen loading the last few containers and a squad of marines who snapped to attention as the two officers walked passed. Sticking out like a sore thumb among all the sailors were three of the baldest looking Venlil either man had ever seen seated in benches a little way down the dock, flanked by four uncomfortable looking guards in UNMP uniforms. Upon seeing the alien’s strange haircuts, Kiref glanced quizzically at his commanding officer, who just muttered “exterminators” in response, causing Kiref to roll his eyes. The exterminators were wearing hand (or paw) cuffs clearly designed for someone much larger than them, and The lead exterminator, judging by the insignia pinned to his fire-resistant uniform, glared at Kiref with a look that betrayed not so much fear as anger and disgust.
As Captain Krenshaw began signing over custody of the prisoners, the lead exterminator let out a yell. “Hey human! You know you got a monster in your crew?” The captain put down his pen and turned to face the Venlil, a terrifying look in his eye that made the other two Venlil back down. The leader carried on, oblivious “We could take care of it for you! That thing’s a danger to anybody on board, at least get your chief of security to confine it to a cell!”
Lieutenant Kiref snapped his eyes over to the Venlil, and unsheathed his claws, causing the exterminator to take an involuntary step back. “I’m sorry prisoner,” said the Arxur, his every syllable dripping with venom “I didn’t quite hear you, would you care to repeat that?”
The captain jumped between the two aliens. “THAT’S ENOUGH!”
“Look, human, that thing-”
“I SAID ENOUGH. For future reference, his name is Lieutenant Kiref, not ‘it,’ mine is Captain Krenshaw, not ‘human,’ and as commander of my ship’s marine detachment, he is the security chief. You are under his charge for the duration of our voyage, so I suggest you treat him with the respect he is due.” The captain turned to the Lieutenant. “Take these war criminals to the brig. You know the handbook on prisoner transport inside and out, I trust you will have no problem keeping them confined?”
“None whatsoever” said Kiref, grinning at the now cowering Venlil. He motioned for two marines who were coming back from the interior of the shipyard, and the three of them escorted the cuffed Venlil into the bowels of the ship.
The captain sighed and turned back to the four military police officers, and finished filling out the clipboard before handing it back to the officer who had given it to him.
“Safe travels, captain, and good luck” The man said.
“Thanks, we’ll definitely need it.” Captain Krenshaw turned and began calling over his radio to the crew, “Alright, seal all airlocks, disconnect all umbilicals and prepare to release docking clamps, we will be underway within the hour.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The ship wasn’t under way for very long.
The UNS Crazy Train exited hyperdrive about four lightyears from the edge of the Sol system, just over a day and a half after departure in a patch of seemingly uninteresting space. Captain Krenshaw ran onto the bridge, disheveled but attempting to put on a professional face, buttoning the last button on his jacket. “What’s the status?” This was a charted area of space, if there had been an asteroid or large space rock,it should have been marked on the map, and the only other plausible option was an enemy fleet, which seemed absent.
Commander Wilson turned at his entrance, vacating the command chair “We’re not sure what it is, the automated navigator detected an absurdly large object in our path, but only picked it up at the last second, and was able to break us out of FTL within just forty klicks of the object. Scanner Officer Casey is investigating now, but we haven’t seen anything since going sunlight.”
The captain took a seat and looked over at the sensor station. “Any ideas yet Caysey?” Officer Casey was by far both the youngest and least experienced member of the Crazy Train’s bridge crew, but Krenshaw was somewhat concerned with the Dossur’s ability to perform his duties under stress. He had been diagnosed with “predator disease” which manifested as an extreme lack of fear response, which meant that he was capable of exchanging small talk over lunch with Kiref for three whole minutes before fainting. Krenshaw had been assured multiple times that the diminutive officer would be just fine in performing his duties as long as the enemies stayed on the other side of a screen, and the Dossur’s natural extremely fast reflexes proved Caysey was adept at identifying and distinguishing targets, so the captain was hopeful, if a bit cautious.
Caysey looked up from his screen, his field of view severely limited by his blinders. “Captain, the only thing that could have blipped into and immediately out of sensor range that fast was another ship passing dangerously close without announcing it’s heading, headed inbound for Earth.”
“An invasion fleet perhaps? Should we turn around?”
“I don’t think so, It would have skipped in front of us for a fraction of a second. The object was detected for over a second, at the speeds we’re talking about, in order to do that the ship would have to be literally light-seconds long, and wide too given the distance this thing seems to stretch on to the sides” The scanner officer looked back to his panel and took several deep breaths before continuing. “I think sensor error is the more likely option. Possibly also some sort of energy field orbiting a local sun at superluminal speeds, but that’s not supported by any scientific theories I know of,” Caysey hastily added.
“I think we’ll avoid examination of theoretical physics for now, drop a beacon and we’ll see if anyone wants to send out a science ship later, helm, continue at sunlight speeds until we clear this field.” The captain said, relaxing a bit. We were needed at the front weeks ago, every day we aren’t there, more people die in Arxur farms.
The ship slowly trundled forwards at sunlight speeds for a few minutes, all eyes were looking at their instruments. The bow punched into the zone, the bridge crew collectively taking deep breaths.
“We should be clear in twenty seconds” Wilson called out.
The whole ship was in the space where the disturbance had been now.
“Fifteen seconds…”
No objects on scanners within the collision warning perimeter
“Ten seconds…”
The bow had reached the far side.
“Five…”
With one and a half seconds to go, Caysey yelled out “WAIT-” but it was too late. Within half a second the entirety of the UNS Crazy Train was engulfed in a bizarre energy field. The standard lighting on the bridge cut out and the emergency bulbs burst from the power surge, plunging the ship into total darkness. The ship rocked violently as the engines gimbaled in random directions. Faster than even the Dossur could react, every electrical system on the ship was flooded with power levels dozens of times higher than what they had been designed to handle. The helmsman screamed as his hands were electrified by the absurd amperage traveling through the ship’s wheel. The ship's reactors tripped, dropping the control rods within another half second, triggering warnings on every panel on the engineering decks.
Within another second the energy had passed, leaving the Crazy Train drifting lifeless in deep space. The turbines slowly winding down triggered the emergency batteries to connect to the ships power, keeping the remaining systems functional, for now. The backup computer activated, rerouting power through backup conduits wherever possible, and developing a list of what needed to be replaced.
Captain Krenshaw was the first to get to his feet. “Is anyone injured?”
“Helmsman Jones' hands are burned pretty badly, should I escort him to sickbay?” said Commander Wilson, helping the injured man to his feet.
“Please do, then help Dr. Mulvan get a triage going.” The captain replied. “Is there anything on scanners, Caysey?
“No s-sir” panted Caysey slowly getting to his fleet. “I should be able to check the beacon we dropped just before we entered the field.” The Dossur was quiet for several seconds. “Sir our comms and scanners may be more damaged than the computer says, I can’t even establish that the beacon is there. Should I launch another?”
“If we have that functionality, then do so. It seems your superluminal energy field hypothesis may have some merit after all” replied the captain, still a bit shaken.
Caysey punched a few buttons before frowning. “The next beacon is launched, and it’s meeting all expected readings. It’s like the other probe just disappeared.”
Krenshaw didn’t give it much thought, contacting engineering to see when the situation on damage control was. The damage turned out to have been mostly superficial or to redundant components, mainly to lighting systems and some CIWS targeting systems. All things that could be replaced in-flight or swapped out quickly at the next port. The only crucial component the ship was missing was the long range communications array, leading to the captain's decision to continue on towards Venlil Prime. At least they have an approach vector lined up for us, we would be cruising into extremely heavy traffic with no comms and dodgy sensors if we head back to Earth. So much for a peaceful maiden voyage, although at least it’s not the worst thing that could have happened...

Thanks for reading, it means a lot! Again, thanks to SpacePaladin15 as well! Hope to see y'all next time on Gunboat Diplomacy!
(also did anybody else know disembarkation was the proper word? I just kinda assumed it was disembarkment until google and spellcheck corrected me)

I'm going to start by saying I am not American. I'd like to debate race with you and give my perspective on it but to do that I need to tell you about my background.
I am from a little known country in the UK called Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 for those of you that don't know much about Wales it was the first country in the British isles to join with England. Unlike England however we are not Anglo Saxon. We are Celtic and considered native to Britain. Wales has a rich and diverse ancient culture and our very ancient and unique language called cymraeg. It's a relatively pretty country, you may recognise from films like lord of the rings and the hobbit.
I have travelled to the US in the past and I've got to give it to you, you have a beautiful country with lovely and welcoming people. There are quite a few things that baffled me but I'm not going into those today. The strangest thing to me is how much race is such an identifying factor to you guys. Almost tribal in a way where you stick to groups based on race, "nationality" or wealth. Wherever you go it's such a polarising factor in American life and to be honest I don't get it since you're a really diverse society. Wales is also pretty diverse but we don't have the same issue here and I'm just trying to figure out why it's become such an issue in the US.
Here in Wales we're taught in detail from a young age at school and at home about cultures, religion and geography to understand the world and our peers. Our history lessons were in depth and uncensored. We were taught about everything from Celtic tribes to the barbaric British slave trade then the British ban on slavery and how the royal navy policed it. We were taught about both the achievements and the atrocities of the British empire. We were taught about all the cultures and religions that are in the commonwealth and went on school trips to all kinds of places of worship from mosques to synagogues, tried their food and many more other things in a dedicated lesson called R.E. religious education. We were taught how to respectfully and fairly treat people from these cultures and religions.
Now let me be clear I'm not saying racism doesn't exist here because it definitely does and there's always room for improvement in our society but I'm proud I can say the Welsh government is always looking for ways to be more inclusive and the capital city Cardiff is considered one of the most inclusive cities in the world. We have people living in Wales from all over the world just like the US yet race is only ever really brought up by the oldest generation who don't fully understand and are what u could call "accidentally" racist or "quietly" racist which fundamentally arises from a lack of understanding or fear of the unknown. Don't get me wrong there are hardcore racists out there but hate speech is illegal here and it's usually swiftly dealt with by the Heddlu (police).
But a unique difference between Wales and the US is how we identify ourselves. In my experience in the US an American usually identifies themselves as white, black, Asian, Latina or from their ancestor's nation of origin (e.g. an Israeli family that have lived in the US for generations would still identity themselves as Israeli). Now there's a fundamentally different mindset here. If you live in Wales regardless of your race, background or nation of origin you are considered Welsh. Race is never really brought up to the point where it feels taboo to mention if someone is black or white etc. To be completely honest I don't really even take any notice whatsoever of someone's race when a speak to them because in my mind he's my fellow Welshman because of the way I was taught. I'm intrigued to know why the American mindset on race has grown to the way it is. You argue and censor the atrocities of the past. The whites blame the blacks for crime, the blacks preach about the white privilege. You both rant about the Mexicans etc.
To someone with an outside perspective you ALL seem as bad as eachother by over complicating identity thereby fueling self segregation and breeding hate. Arguably race isn't even a thing as we've all got the genes from every "race" in all of us. At the end of the day we are ALL humans and you are ALL Americans.
I just thought I'd share the Welsh perspective with you. Here regardless of colour, race or where you're from. As long as you live within our border you are Welsh. And I hope you can stop looking at eachother as black or white or Latina and start looking at eachother as fellow Americans and love eachother as such.
Now I'd love to openly and respectfully debate this further with any of you in the comments and get your perspective on this from wherever in the US or world you're from. Peace and love to all of you 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿🇺🇲

While many consider Gecko Moria to be the weakest Warlord, that still doesn't make him "weak" by any margin. Anything and everything you need to know (to the best of my ability) about Moria will be listed here.

Background Knowledge/Bounty

First, let's take a full look at his Vivre Card.

• 50-year-old Gecko Moria had a frozen bounty of $320 Million Berries before joining the Warlords, meaning he had a bounty higher than Post-Enies Lobby Luffy when he was younger.
• Although it's unclear exactly when Moria first obtained this bounty, we know that he had it after the death of Roger and before he fought Kaido in Wano Country (Vivre Card Timeline at bottom for reference). This would mean by the time he was 27 years old, Moria had gotten his bounty of $320 Million, as the fight with Kaido takes a year after Roger's death, 23 years before the current year.
• Although Moria's Vivre Card doesn't list him as being a haki user, it doesn't immediately disqualify him from having it currently.

Devil Fruit General Knowledge

Moria has the Shadow Shadow Fruit, allowing him to produce and manipulate shadows. However, shadows in One Piece are a bit more unique.

• Shadows in One Piece are considered as another soul each person has. With this, we can assume that each One Piece character has at least two types of souls, as even Luffy, who did not have his shadow, was still considered to have a soul. This suggests that adding more shadows into one's body would then add more souls to a person.
• Anyone without a shadow does not have a reflection, as they do not "exist in the world of light." Anyone without a shadow who is hit by sunlight will experience pain and disintegrate into dust and their very existence is at risk of disappearing.
  • (One might even say OP characters have an immunity to existence erasure as long as they have their shadow.)
• The effect is not immediate, however, and this indicates a link between an original body and its shadow, regardless of how far apart they are. This is further reinforced by the fact that killing the shadow's original owner will kill the shadow as well.
• Moria is able to capture and force shadows to submit to him, allowing him to create "zombies." All "zombies" will have the personality and battle abilities of the original shadow's owner, though the physical strength is dependent on the body itself.
• Those who have their shadows taken away by Moria typically lose consciousness for 2 days straight.
• All shadows are eventually obedient to Moria, no matter how strong their wills are. However, the size of a shadow and body can affect how long the lingering effect takes place. Moria can also erase the memories and past of a shadow by creating a pact.
• Beating or killing Moria does not reverse the effects of his Devil Fruit. Moria must command the shadows to go back to their bodies. The sole exception was when Moria was losing consciousness in his Shadows Asgard form, which lead to him losing control over the shadows in his body.
• Shadows are tangible and can be inserted into both living and non-living creatures, as long they can maintain consciousness. This multiplies one's strength for as long as one can withstand, up to 10 minutes. An average person can only withstand 2-3 shadows.
• The shadow and body must look the same, as that is both common sense and the law of nature. Moria can manipulate others' shadows with his own shadow, forcing their bodies to follow the shape of their shadows. Essentially, he is reversing the law of nature and can disfigure a person's body as long as he disfigures their shadow.
• Shadows can be forced to disconnect from one's body with salt due to the fact that shadows are connected to others' bodies via Devil Fruit powers, which can be affected by water.
• Moria's range for shadow manipulation spans all of Thriller Bark, which is the size of an island.

Devil Fruit Techniques

• Shadow Cutting - With his weapon, Moria can cut off shadows from people's bodies, knocking them out instantly.
• Doppelman - Moria is able to create a shadow double of himself capable of blocking Luffy's attacks, destroying the ground, and pressuring Luffy. Doppelman is capable of keeping up with Luffy's speed and because it's a shadow, it takes no damage from regular attacks.
• Brick Bat - Moria can create multiple balls of shadows that can turn into bats, capable of hurting Luffy. They can be formed from any shadow, including Doppelman, and they take no damage since they're just tangible shadows.
• Teleportation - Moria is able to swap places with his shadow Doppelman at any point, even appearing in Oars' stomach right after talking with Kuma.
• Shadow Revolution - Moria is able to control other people's shadows and deform their body by manipulating the shadow, as shadows and bodies must maintain the same shape.
• Oars Ball - With Shadow Revolution, Moria can make deformities such as turning Oars into a giant ball.
• Shadows Asgard - This technique spans over the entire island of Thriller Bark, allowing him to gather 1000 shadows and imbue himself with them, including the shadows of Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji.
  • Just as a reminder, each shadow's battle abilities are given to Moria and multiply his strength, essentially making him 10x stronger than Nightmare Luffy.
  • Also, even though Moria's Devil Fruit is made for using shadows, Moria's mind is still capable of withstanding the weight of 1000 shadows, even if he starts to lose control, whereas a normal human can only withstand 2-3 shadows.
• Spiky Shadow Lizard - Moria produces enough shadows to pierce Oars Jr.'s giant body.
• Shadow Insertion - Moria is casually able to withstand the pressure of having at least 7 shadows inside him.

Portrayal

• Brook praises Moria's strength by stating that the Strawhats may die to Moria if they were to fight.
• Robin is aware and fearful of Moria, as his bounty is higher than Luffy's and is a Warlord.
• Moria is constantly portrayed to be on Kuma's level.
• Moria is his prime was rumored to go toe-to-toe with younger Kaido.
• (Not sure where to put this) 27-year-old Moria was able to rob Ryuma's grave at some point while he was in Wano when he fought Kaido.

AP/Durability

• Despite being caught off guard, Moria is able to handle a Gum Gum Stamp to his butt.
• Given that Moria was inside Oars' body, and Nightmare Luffy has been fighting for 7-8 minutes, Moria has been taking damage as a result of Oars getting pummeled.
• Moria continues to take multiple attacks from Nightmare Luffy, all of which are capable of doing serious damage to Oars. Moria also gets up before Oars does despite these hits.
• In his Shadows Asgard form, Moria is able to split the entire island of Thriller Bark with a single punch.
  • This is further reinforced by the Vivre Card entry in the middle left caption.
• Shadows Asgard Moria is stronger than Oars ever was.
• Shadows Asgard Moria withstands a direct hit to his stomach from G2 Luffy without fully losing consciousness.
• Shadows Asgard Moria is described to have a punch that "cracked the island."
• Shadows Asgard continues to withstand getting hit by G2 + G3 Luffy and still maintain control over his shadows.
• Even after getting hit by G2 + G3 Luffy again and having his giant mansion fall on top of him, Moria is still conscious.
• Moria is able to withstand a Fishman Karate punch from Jinbe (these punches bypass durability) and fight Curiel at a later point in Marineford.
• At the end of the war, Moria is largely unharmed.
• Even after getting ambushed by Doflamingo and multiple Pacifistas, Moria is able to stay alive long enough to get saved by Absalom later on.
• Post-TS Moria easily tanks a pirate who attempts to cut his skin.
• Despite getting cut by Shiryu, Moria is relatively unharmed.

Speed

• Moria is easily able to block base Luffy's Gum Gum Pistol by summoning his shadow clone.
• Moria can physically outrun base Luffy.
• Moria's Brick Bats are fast enough to overwhelm Robin.
• Moria is fast enough to teleport before Robin can snap his neck.
• Moria easily reacts to Sanji's Extra Hachis Hash, teleporting out of its way.
• Moria stops Usopp from putting salt in Oars' mouth by using his Doppelman to grab the bag of salt.
• Shadows Asgard Moria is able to produce his Brick Bat fast enough to capture G2 Luffy before he can react.

That sums up just about everything I have on Moria.
By no means is he on the same tiers as most current One Piece characters, but he definitely deserves far more credit than he gets.

Been using Humaniti on and off now for probably half a year, and have been able to earn close to $500 (see here for proof). Definitely my highest paying survey website that I use, it's close to $18/hr, often more if I go a little faster. Some surveys have been 'project' style ones where you go and do a task e.g. listen to a podcast and you'll get paid $15+ for a few minutes of work, whilst most of them are easy 10-15minutes questionnaires.
Would appreciate it if you could use my referral link here, you'll get a free $5 as a signup bonus :)

Runescape Chronicles new video introduction to the new skills was very well delivered. Shamanism looks fantastic it's definitely a breathe of fresh air and Sailing belongs to the old school category, it's difficult to believe that's it's allready not a skill given its connection to the game itself.
I play OSRS almost everyday and it feels like it's in its golden years. We've received amazing content such as a new raid, bosses, wildy update, forestry and DT2, new prayer book and bosses coming out very soon. OSRS has grown in popularity, the community is strong and the base player numbers are high. Comparing 5 years ago to today it's alot more talked about and Ive managed to get two friends to start playing who weren't as interested back then. The game is booming, the possibilities are endless and we are all excited!
I envision that a world event message would display in the game chat, alarming all players of a new event that has taken place at said location. All players would be rushing to the ge to gear up and head to the new quest location and begin the quest. The quest tells a legend of a far away land only accessible by boat and through completion of the quest you unlock Sailing and a port to start building the boat. When the boat is ready the quest continues into the sea and we learn how to navigate the waters and begin to explore the many islands and land on the new map.
On the journey we become ship wrecked on a major island and a new quest begins. New scenery, new monsters, new NPCs, new everything we begin to explore and try to find a way off the island. We learn early on that the island was once inhabited by a human race lost to time, the land was once protected by the spirit of nature but something happened and the inhabitants became obsessed with the power of nature and it consumed them. Another major event happening leads the player on a journey to uncover the truth and finds themselves in a battle leading to the introduction of the Shaman skill. Buffs, de-duffs, upgrades and a new style of play.
Exploring the new map while sailing to the new islands, the game would be such a fresh feel and adventure. Introduce a new location for a new ge and get us bank standing there. The perfect balance of adding a skill that feels old school and a new skill that introduces us to a new way of play.
I'm very excited for whatever they planned for us and you should be too!
Thanks for reading

Frost collected on the windows as we drove further into the woods. Next to me, my wife of eight years and bringer of many headaches. Now I'll be fair, I contributed to some of those headaches for her as well. But let's face it, we were having marital problems. I know, a cliche sort of story, but a common one in today's modern society.
We were heading to my grandparents' old cabin up north. My aging ancestors said that it would be the best place for us to "reinvigorate the romance" as they put it. Lovely.
But that's not why I'm recording these papers. No, it was something far graver than a failing marriage.
It was 2012 and we had our typical routines. I was an entrepreneur, investing in the stock market with the hopes of making it big. To make the money in this risky scheme of mine, I had to work a regular job just like everyone else. I worked in a factory for cars while my wife, Cassie, was trying to become a hairdresser.
The topic of money was always a strenuous issue for us. Constantly we fought about where the money should be going. Cassie believed that we should save as much as we can, while I was more willing to take the plunge into the market and try to milk this capitalist engine for all its worth.
As you can see, putting those two together created a nasty scenario where two people who wanted to have the best of youthful intimacy, slowly got destroyed by the years of conflicting interests. I still thought she was the most beautiful woman in my life, but the way that she stood in the way of my goals for a better life was starting to make me question this relationship to go on. Hence the cabin.
Now it is December and it's getting close to that date everyone seems to be obsessed over. The end of the world. What a load of baloney.
So that's a little background as to why we're going out to the woods.
But the drive itself was unbearably quiet. Not once did Cassie say anything. She didn't put up much of a fight either when I suggested that we go out to the cabin. Deep down, I think a part of me wondered if maybe she thought this was all in vain and wanted to get it over with. I believe a part of me believes that as well. Perhaps this is all a wasted effort and the ending result will be our inevitable divorce.
But who knows, there's always that slim chance. And when I looked up at the sky, I saw that there was a meteor shower already happening above.
"Hey Cassie, look," I said with childish delight.
She looked up from her window with a stoic expression. But I noticed a slight twinkle in her eye. From what I could tell, she was surprised to see such a glorious display from the beauty of the stars above. Although astronomy was always more of her thing, I still found joy in the little things.
"I'll admit, I wasn't expecting that."
"Right, and once we're at the cabin, we could—"
It just hit me when I realized it. I had no plan going forward. My goal was to get her out of the house. What are we supposed to do the moment we get to that cabin? It's not like I'm going to ask to be intimate right then and there. You got to work things up to stuff like that; especially with how strained our relationship is.
This was going to be more debilitating than I thought. No matter what scenario I thought of, nothing seemed appropriately timed. Make her dinner, watching TV sounded kind of stupid considering that we did that a whole lot back at the house, and frankly I'm not the most creative when it comes to trying to mend a relationship.
"You want to go for a walk later?" she cooed.
My eyes drifted over to her. Looking at her as she fidgeted with her long, light blonde hair.
A small smile grew on my face. At least she was trying to make an effort too. Perhaps there is hope after all. "Sure thing Cassie. I don't mind."
Once we arrived at the cabin, it was within no time that we settled in. Although fully furnished, there was dust everywhere. Surprisingly few cobwebs, so spiders weren't going to be an issue. The old, cabin-like aesthetic with furniture that looked like it dated back to the 1800s and was handcrafted made the entire home feel like it was holding some dark secrets of a mysterious past.
Thankfully my grandparents had been smart enough to remove any food from the house before we arrived. The last thing I'd want is to see year-old spoiled food everywhere, forcing the two of us to clean up any more than we had to.
The only thing I was concerned about was that I spotted something in the closet of the bedroom. My grandfather's guns.
"Couldn't you buy a gun safe old man?"
Cassie peeked over my shoulder and said, "Ugh, why is that even here?"
"Hey, my grandpa was a gun lover. What did you expect to find here?"
"Those things should be melted down."
My wife, though I still love her, was heavily against guns. She believed that they could all be taken away from the civilian population.
Frankly, I thought the exact opposite. I believe that it should be every person's right to get one. Maybe not a semi-automatic or shotgun, a good pistol or revolver would be satisfactory enough for me.
I quickly moved her away from the stash and we returned to our usual business, not thinking about anything else.
The walk would have to happen tomorrow morning. And after driving for the last ten hours, I can safely assume that we wanted to sleep in.
As we were getting ourselves ready for bed, I looked at my wife with hopefulness bubbling in my heart. She always tried to do everything So graceful, considering she came from a family that was quiet, elegant, and frankly made more money than I could ever hope to. Why she wants to become a hairdresser, I had no idea. Perhaps a change of pace or out of spite for her parents.
I thought about saying something to remind her that I still loved her. But before the words could even escape my mouth, there was a flash of a bright light coming from the window.
She looked up and our eyes widened with a fearful stare.
I turned around, wondering what was causing that. It was too bright for me to even see out the glass. Then a loud bang followed afterward, making me believe for a moment that something disastrous was going on. Was it a nuclear war? A random volcano? A freak storm? My mind was racing with every possible scenario. But as quickly as it came, both the sound and the light vanished into the woods.
"Are you okay?" Cassie said, hunkering down behind the bed.
"Yeah— I was afraid I was going to go blind there for a moment."
"I tried to look away as quickly as I saw it. But I was afraid I might go deaf from that sound."
Despite it being freezing outside, I opened the window and looked around. There was no smoke anywhere. Nor was there even a remnant of the light flickering somewhere off in the distance.
I caught the smell though. It smelled like burning rubber. Or perhaps it was more like plastic burning. Either way, it was awful and I quickly shut the door, not wanting any of that to get in.
"That was weird,"
My wife agreed and surprisingly, she wanted me to come to bed. This was a bizarre turn of events for me considering that she never once cared. But perhaps it was because she was scared. Reasonable response.
The next morning, we went about our habits and freshened up. After eating a light breakfast, we finally managed to put on some snow clothes, and go for that walk.
The brisk air and gentle breeze was more than I expected to handle. But I feel like the nervous tension was definitely keeping us warm. I never realized how hard it was to talk to her.
"Cassie... what do you think was that strange light last night?"
Another brief moment passed before she replied, "I don't know. I couldn't get a good look."
Oh well, at least we got to go on this nice walk. Thankfully both of us wore boots because the snow was unusually high.
Not too far down the road though, we spotted a house. There was already a family outside. A man, a woman, and three kids. Two boys, one girl. They were playing in the snow, building snowmen and forts. They waved to us, and it was a bit of a bitter reminder about how we had squandered our marriage with our short-term goals in mind.
Cassie had this longing in her eyes. I could tell she wished that we would have done the same. And if I'm honest with myself, maybe parenthood would've been something nice.
We waved as we passed by, but neither of us wanted to talk about the matter.
Moving further down the road, I could spot some smoke rising from deep within the forest. I looked at Cassie, but she hadn't noticed it yet. I pointed it out to her and we were both curious about what could be causing a fire in the woods?
"Want to check it out?" she asked.
"Only if you want to?"
"Do you or do you not?" she said more forcefully.
"Yes! God all right," I replied back in my own angered way.
I led the way, she followed behind as we trudged through the snow away from the road.
As we got closer, I could smell that horrible stench again. Now I was certain we were getting close to whatever it was that caused that late last night. Perhaps it was a meteorite or a satellite.
Finally, we cleared past the last batch of pine trees and saw what it was. But a huge crater with something metallic in the center.
"Is that a ball?" Cassie remarked from behind.
I moved closer to the edge of the crater, looking down at it. Every time a snowflake touched the metallic surface of the orb, it instantly turned into steam.
I decided to circle the edge of the crater, willing to see if there was a way to get a full view of what it was. Just out of curiosity. I wasn't sure what it was actually; it was a gray orb, no unique details other than that it was 6 ft tall I believe, and that was it.
Well, that's what I thought until I moved over to the other end of the orb and saw that there is an opening to the inside. It looked like a seat. Which made me come to the conclusion that it was a space pod.
"Does NASA build space pods, Cassie?"
"Not to my knowledge. I don't keep up with space stuff."
As I kept inspecting the pod, I noticed that there was some green liquid that was trailing off into the snow up to the crater until it vanished into the woods.
"What in the world?"
Suddenly the piercing sound of children screaming as well as a man and a woman broke through the forest, causing my heart to beat erratically like a pounding drum. Those are sounds I never want to hear.
Cassie's face ran white like the snow around her. She looked almost like she was about to faint just from how sickening those screams were. They had such an oppressive fear behind them, something that may my blood run like freezing water through my veins.
I went back to Cassie and wrapped my arms around her as we kept looking around frantically. Both of our minds raced about what could have caused that sound. But then I remembered that the other cabin was not too far from us. The one with the family.
I managed to convince Cassie that we needed to run back to the house. But in actuality, I just want to get over to the other cabin to make sure that family was safe.
We kept running as fast as we could until finally when we reached near that cabin, I saw with all my despair-inducing horror why they made such a tormented display of shrieks.
Bile came fast up my throat, and I had to hold myself back from throwing up by the horrific display.
My wife also gave way to shrieking, so loud it was that it was actually more irritating for me but I couldn't blame her.
The poor family. That poor, poor family...
We moved on but I couldn't stop thinking about how every single one of them had been torn apart like mincemeat. Scattered about and indistinguishable. There was a hand here, a few toes there, something had shredded them until they were nothing more than a gruesome display of carnage.
We quickly left the scene.
When we got back to the house, I quickly decided to call 911. I told them everything about what we had seen and they said they would send over a squad car to the house.
But that wasn't the whole truth that I gave them. All I told them was about the massacre that happened over at that family home. I didn't tell him about the spherical thing that we found in the woods.
My wife was still anxiously walking around in circles, checking every window as she went.
I ran out to the car, thinking that it would be better if we just left right now. I tried starting the car, but it just kept sputtering but no life. Something was wrong, the car should work, I gave it a full tank of gas.
I got out and noticed that there were some bolts and scraps of metal half-buried in the snow. When I bent down to look underneath, I saw that the entire fuselage had been torn open. Something had deliberately destroyed the car.
Running back inside, I slammed the door shut, and locked it. I went even further to place a chair and wedge the doorknob. Now I was desperate. We had no car, and there was no way I was planning on walking out there again. All we could do was wait for help. At least I was able to make that call on a cell phone because when I went to turn on one of the lights, there was no electricity flowing through. The wires had been cut as well. Whatever did this, it was smart and it was targeting us.
Cassie had at this point started breaking down into tears. She was scared. I was scared. But I knew that I needed to be there for her. Even though our marriage isn't so good right now, there's no way I could leave her in such a vulnerable state.
I felt that maybe I should do something to comfort her, what else could I do? What could either of us do? The only thing that we were able to do was to wait for assistance.
I stretched my hands out to her and pulled her in towards my chest. She didn't even try to fight back, but rather she buried herself. This was probably the most affection I've gotten from her in a long time.
Hopefully, the police can handle this. I wasn't too sure if we could make it all night. Every little cracking sound from the cabin was enough to get my hair standing up. Nothing seemed to have been damaged, so I had to come to the conclusion that whatever "it" was didn't come inside.
It would seem that we were in for a night of no sleep.
The next day, there was a knock on our door. I was disturbed from my rest on the couch with my wife next to me.
I tried my best to get up without disturbing her and made my way towards the door. But I stopped before I went to open it.
"Who's there?"
"Police," a voice said weakly.
I took a deep breath and exhaled. How reassuring.
I opened the door and I saw that a bloody police officer was standing in front of me. He had his hand covering over his abdomen which was dripping with it.
"Geez, what happened to you?"
He was practically about the stumble over until I caught him. Wasting no time, I brought them over to the armchair and I knew my wife would not like to wake up to this.
"Cassie wake up," I ordered, panicking.
When she opened her eyes and saw who was sitting near her, she just about screamed but I quickly covered her mouth, much to her shock until she saw it was me.
"Ben, what is going—"
"No time to explain yet, I need you to go and get me some water!" I cut her off.
As much as I hated bossing her around, time was of the essence. I didn't want to say anything to her but I didn't think this poor fella was going to last.
She quickly got up and ran to the kitchen, faster than I would've expected her. Perhaps it was just the adrenaline rush.
I turned to the poor guy who was wheezing and coughing blood.
"Hey, pal listen, I'm going to need you to tell me what happened?"
"Don't worry, I know this looks bad but I didn't walk all the way over here for no reason. I need you to warn the station,"
"About what?"
Cassie came in with some rags that were soaked and gently pressed them onto his abdomen.
He winced quite loudly, but we both knew this was the best.
"Tell them it's a code Protectorate situation— I... me and my partner, we went to the house as instructed. When we got there, we both nearly lost our sanity. It was so gruesome what we saw.
I could relate to what he's describing. It was a messed up sight and I wished I could unsee that.
"When we went into the house to investigate, something lunged out from the darkness. It cut clean through my partner before he could even have time to react. I fired eight shots into that thing. It was so mortifyingly alien."
"So we're dealing with an alien?"
"I don't know if you can count that thing as one. It was so savage, so brutal. Naked and abominable. I quickly got out of there but that thing managed to get me in the stomach. I fired one more shot near its head and that seemed to scare it away. Then I came here."
Both my wife and I were awestruck. So there really was an alien in our area. And it's killing people, how original. But my biggest concern at this moment was the fact that we were now caught in the middle of it.
The cop coughed a few more times— drips of blood coming down his chin.
My wife quickly rushed over with the cloth to try to clean it out so that he could breathe properly, but he just grabbed hold of her wrist, and through more agitated coughing, he choked, "Leave if you can,"
His eyes quickly went lifeless and he fell limp in the armchair.
His hand released my wife and she quickly backed up into me. Held her in my arms as we both stared at the lifeless man who gave us the only advice I think he could say to us.
But I had to honor what the fallen cop had asked me and I got back in touch with the police to tell them that the cop died after investigating the murder scene. I gave them his name and they were ready to send more help until I cut the lady off and told her that he requested Protectorate. They cut the line after that and I had to deal with questions I had no answers to.
But then a new voice answered, " Please evacuate the area. Your area has been labeled by the Protectorate Extermination Committee as a targeted zone. You have less than one hour to comply with this direct order."
Well, that wasn’t what I was expecting to hear.
No sooner after hearing those words, Cassie ran back to the kitchen and started washing the blood off of her hands. I took a blanket and covered the officer. But I was going to heed his words.
I went upstairs and quickly started grabbing what I could and throwing them back into our bags. We were leaving and that was not up for any discussion. Thankfully Cassie was on the same page as me.
After about ten or twelve minutes had passed, I finished packing, only to hear the pounding beat of a rotor. That was a helicopter flying overhead.
Quickly I went outside and tried to get a good look at it. It was a Blackhawk helicopter flying rapidly.
Out of desperation, I started waving my hands, hoping that maybe they'd land and get us out of here much sooner than what my car could manage for us, but they flew off. I know they saw me, but they simply ignored me.
Cassie came out of the house and asked, "Did they just leave? I heard them flying by and thought that maybe they'd land?"
"I don't think they're looking for survivors. They don’t look like any military group that I recognize."
"What did they look like?" her voice trembled.
"I don't know who they are, but their helicopter was painted black and there was a symbol on the side. It looked like a shield with six wings coming out from the side and an eye in the center of the shield."
We heard the sound of distinct gunfire off in the distance. Whatever it was, I doubt it was military engagement. There was only one firing and it was followed by deafening screams of a man. Only to be drowned out by something unnaturally low and clicky. But this roar boomed across the land.
That was coming from another cabin not too far from us. Whatever it was, surely we were going to be next in the line of fire for this thing. It must have been going around destroying people's vehicles if there were still people around after what happened to that first. I can't imagine all of our neighbors still being here willingly.
I ordered Cassie back in the house, knowing full well that something bad was about to go down when I saw three more of those Blackhawks flying into one single location.
I shut the door again and told Cassie to get down as low as she could. I didn't want a stray bullet hitting either of us, but I couldn't help but remain curious to see if they could get it.
I was expecting them to rain down machine-gun fire, but instead, I saw three huge plumes of fire shoot out from each of the choppers. They were trying to burn this thing. They were hitting it hard too. The amount of flames coming down at such a rapid speed made me think that it could catch the entire woods on fire. Thankfully it's winter, so I don't think a forest fire is likely to happen.
But they never stopped firing and it also seems like they were chasing after whatever it was. My eyesight's not so good, so I wasn't able to get a visual of what it was. But I saw something running on all four, darting through the woods as the Blackhawks chased after it.
"What's happening!" Cassie cried.
I had forgotten about her. I was expecting bullets but I guess it wasn't so dangerous after all.
"They're trying to burn that sick monster."
"Is it working?"
I didn't have the heart to tell her that I think the thing is getting away. Whatever it was, it was weaving fast enough to where the helicopters couldn't keep up. But at least it seems like it couldn't hurt them either.
"They're driving it away. It's moving far away from us. Maybe we could leave right now."
Cassie started panicking and stuttered, "We— we are not going out there,"
"Cassie don't be stupid, we have to get out of here. That creature might come back for all we know—"
"And I don't want to be outside all vulnerable when it gets here!"
That was always something I hated about her. Once she made up her mind on something, there was no way you were going to get her to change her mind.
"It's always about your issues, it's always going to be your way! Don't you realize that there is something that we cannot handle, running around willy-nilly, we've got helicopters outside blasting it with fire that doesn't seem to be doing too much, and you want us to stay here like a bunch of sitting ducks because you're too scared to try and Escape like the officer who died for us, said so!"
"YOU THINK I WANT TO STAY HERE AND GET TORN APART BY THAT SAVAGE!" she got up from her hiding place and pushed me as hard as she could.
Don't get me wrong, I didn't fall down to the ground, but when she gets angry, she's a little extra forceful than you would expect.
She tried doing it a second time, but I caught her arms and threw her back, but not hard enough to make her fall.
"How about you calm down, and THINK!" I shouted back at her with increased ferocity. I was at my limit and I was having thoughts of leaving her here. We were on the verge of divorce anyway and the last thing I should care about is someone who will become a stranger to me and no time.
"I did, I want to hide and not be an open target!"
"And I don't want to sit here like an all-you-can-eat buffet for that thing!"
Before the argument could continue down this heated path, one of those flamers happened to be coming by, burning everything nearby. Thankfully it didn't hit the house or even the yard for that matter, but it was enough to leave me with a shaking stomach.
We both dropped to the ground but I was still curious about what was happening outside.
I crawled up to the front window again and my eyes went wide as I saw one of the helicopters blasting its flamethrower down. Inside the inferno, that creature was walking about untouched by the heat.
I whispered to myself, "It's immune to the fire? How?"
The flames eventually stopped raining down. I think they got the idea too.
I looked up at them as one of the soldiers was changing their weapon of choice from a flamethrower, to something a little more ballistic...
"Run!" I ordered. "To the bathroom!"
Both of us got up and as we got into the first-floor bathroom, the sound of explosions rained down from above. Small-scale explosives were now being used against this alien. It let out another one of those guttural bellows, apparently, this actually hurt it more. I also could hear the constant firing of bullets raining down.
But this was all that I could interpret. Cassie and I were both huddled in the bathtub, praying to whatever God exists that we don't end up being shredded by bullets in the process.
Already I could hear parts of the house getting hit by stray bullets as it seemed like the helicopters were moving more erratically as they chased after this creature again. At least it seems like they were moving away from us, but those were the most intense 30 seconds of my life.
Finally, everything fell silent other than the distant explosions that slowly toned down.
Both Cassie and I were breathing heavily, I even found myself wrapping my arms around her instinctively.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
She wouldn't quit crying. She never responded to my question. Granted it was a stupid question. Nothing about this was okay.
I decided to concede. Perhaps we should just hunker down and hope for the best. Although I was still completely on board with up and going, Cassie was partially right. We would be caught out there in the open and there was no guarantee that these people who were fighting the monster were even going to care about civilian casualties. They certainly didn't mind incinerating entire sections of the woods away, regardless of whatever houses happened to be nearby.
"Cassie, we'll stay here tonight. But I'm using my grandpa's guns."
"I don't care, I want that thing dead. I'll take one myself."
Well, this was a sudden change of heart. Someone who is always against this stuff suddenly wants one. Though I should have known better when I saw her only pick up the pistol.
"If you fail, I would much rather be able to take the easy way out of this mess."
Honestly, I'd rather have that option as well. But I have to try. Plus, if I was to die today, at least I can go down with this beautiful shotgun in hand.
So that would be the update so far. A black ops group is currently leveling the area as best they can to try and kill this thing, my wife is ready to do what she can to avoid a painful way of dying, and I've got a shotgun, scared out of my mind as I wait for this thing to eventually try and get us as well.
And thus began another long night of no sleep.
The clock had now turned to 12:43 p.m. I was dead tired and the exhaustion of staying up for two days without getting any consistent sleep was starting to take its toll.
Thankfully the sun had come up and this creature did not attack during the night. I'm telling you, that is probably the most luck we're ever going to get out of this.
Cassie was getting more sleep than I was, but she refused to leave the bathroom. She stayed in that tub the entire night, while I made myself a little pillow fort in the living room. And before you start getting judgemental of childish behavior, if I'm going to die, I'm going to die in comfort.
All throughout the night, I heard the occasional bursts of gunfire far off in the distance. I tighten my grip around the shotgun, preparing myself for whenever I would need it.
This particular shotgun was a special type that my grandfather was obsessed over. And it packed quite a wallop. A Browning BPS. With sleek, black metal, this high-powered shotgun is all that stands between a ravenous, deadly alien that came from outer space, and me getting torn in half.
And so began the wait.
Hours were going by. Every moment that I heard them chasing that thing out there, was another moment that told me that it wasn't over yet.
I was drenched in sweat, despite the temperature getting increasingly cold with every passing hour. How we managed to survive this whole time is beyond me. I guess the tension alone was enough to make sure that we stayed warm throughout the whole thing.
Then I heard a rumbling sound outside. Then I heard multiple rumblings. And then suddenly a blast of sound exploded so loud that it shattered all of the glass in the house. I was so scared that I almost fired off a shot.
I quickly got up from the pillow fort, Cassie was looking out the bathroom door. She was as confused as I was.
"What are they doing now?"
When I took a look outside, I had a surge of hope. Outside were 8 tanks, as black as the Blackhawks. They were firing off at a distance, firing off their machine-gun fire at the same time as they tried to destroy whatever this thing was with cannon fire from their turrets.
When I peered further out at the patch of woods that were being shredded to pieces by the barrage, I saw that the alien was moving as quickly as they could to avoid. But it kept stumbling around, and explosives kept burning away layers of its skin. There were more helicopters outside that were trying to flame it as well as firing explosive rockets at it.
I was cheering them on. The creature was definitely taking a beating from the constant attacks and it was only a matter of time before that thing would get too worn down. Already I could see parts of its flesh burning off.
"Come guys, get 'em!" I shouted instinctively by the hype of us actually winning. Maybe I would get out of this alive.
From my distance, I had to wear my glasses to get a better view. But my god the battle was intense.
"I think they've nearly killed it!" I shouted in early triumph.
Cassie came out of the bathroom and crawled next to me, wanting to join me and watching as they finally killed that alien. We both watched with anticipation as they finally seemed to be destroying its tough outer exterior.
The animal looked disgusting. That barbaric creature had two long arms with five fingers that looked about as long as a human forearm, it had a triangular-shaped head, rounded around the edges. I distinctly remember seeing it have bluish-gray skin earlier, but I guess after all of the flaming, bullets, and bombings, now it was reduced to a muscular frame.
It staggered after getting hit for over a day's worth and I was surprised that they were willing to keep pounding this thing so hard for that extended time.
Suddenly the sky overhead had a long, loud engine noise burst through the sound barrier.
We both looked up and my heart sank into what felt like ice-cold water because those were F-22s coming down fast from the sky.
I looked over to Cassie who looked like she had frozen over. Without much rational thought, I grabbed hold of her and we both ducked low to the ground.
The glass exploded above us as I heard missiles coming down, explosion after explosion detonating and leveling everything nearby. They were going to keep hitting this thing till it was either ash, or the entire area had been left in ashes.
Cassie kept crying but I also felt a huge overwhelming feeling of dread laying on top of me. I hugged her tightly, wanting to give myself some warmth from the otherwise cold, apathetic attack that we had found ourselves stuck in.
She kept whispering through choked up words, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,"
"Cassie, listen, we're going to be alright. You hear that! We are going to live!"
The last explosion was so close to our house that I think part of it was coming apart at that point. The whole house shook violently and Cassie and I were even momentarily lifted off of the ground by how much power was behind that last explosion.
I slowly got back to my feet, my ears ringing exceedingly loud. I can barely hear whatever Cassie was saying to me. I still had the shotgun in hand. I was clutching that thing as my life depended on it.
Everything was a blurry mess, I was so dizzy I couldn't even focus entirely on anything.
Cassie was trying to tell me something. She kept pointing around me, her face full of fear.
Finally, things were going back to normal quickly and I was able to understand what she was trying to say.
"IT'S COMING THIS WAY!"
My eyes widened and as I turned around, the entire wall exploded inwards. I found myself being tossed over the couch and Cassie was quick to try and crawl back to the bathroom. I think she left her pistol there.
When I got a good look at it, I realized it was at death's door. It was all bloody, muscular, one of its eyes had fallen out. And it had this blood-filled shrill escaping from his mouth that made your skin curl in itself. Frankly, it sounded like no animal on Earth.
Bullets started raining in, a little too close for comfort for me.
I had to make a decision, the thing was eyeing down my wife. She turned around towards me, her eyes filled with tears.
Without much hesitation, I pumped the shotgun and unloaded an entire blast into its chest while it was distracted.
It screamed out in a horrific shrill, probably more stunned that a simple firearm is enough to finally get this thing injured at this point.
I kept blasting, pumping, blasting, pumping, repeatedly doing this while screaming as I kept shooting that sick animal. It swung its broken fingers at me, cutting a bit of my leg in the process. I fell down for a moment, but I knew I had to get back up for Cassie. It didn't do so well when I finally was able to get close enough to it, point the double-barrel right at its head, and blast straight into its mouth.
Strangely enough, that wasn't even enough to kill it. It fell back, squirming around in writhing pain, and I was shocked when I saw Cassie come out with her pistol and unload all eight bullets into the creature as well. I joined her in the attack, and we kept shooting at it until it finally stopped moving.
We both were out of breath, completely in shock, and frankly just wanting to go home. Maybe even see a therapist.
I rested on the floor next to Cassie who had lost her strength as well. We were just too tired to even run and I had no intention of getting out on my own.
Through the smoke, four soldiers in full body armored gear painted black entered through the gaping hole in the wall.
I was so tired I was sure I'd lose consciousness. Sure enough, everything faded to black. I could briefly hear the chatter of radios, but what they said I could not remember.
When I woke up, I was sitting in a hospital bed. I looked around in frantic movements, wondering where Cassie was— where my wife was?
I saw her completely passed out in the bed next to me. I was so relieved to see her safe and sound.
When I looked around, I saw that we were in a military infirmary tent. It was still snowing outside, but thankfully these tents know how to keep you warm.
But as I was about to get comfortable in my bed, two guys in suits- not black suits, thankfully they weren't going to be so cliche— walked in with two guards in uniform behind them.
The man who appeared oldest, complete with a bald head and big, bushy, gray mustache said, "Good morning soldier."
I chuckled a little bit. "Soldier? I wouldn't say I'm a soldier."
He had a charming laugh that I could tell you enough that he was more of a ladies' man in his spare time when he wasn't working to be some high-up government official.
"Ah, but weren't you the one who managed to kill that extraterrestrial?"
Clearly, he knew what I had done, so there was no point in lying. "Yes sir,"
"That makes you a soldier I guess. You may be just a civilian, but anyone who has the guts to take on something that took tanks and Blackhawks an entire day's worth of fighting to kill is deserving of such a title."
"I'm honored," I responded with unease.
"Well, I feel like it's the least we can do considering that even though we did most of the work, the fact that you managed to kill that thing with a shotgun and revolver is my definition of bravery. So we will be needing you to do a few favors for us in return for some added benefits for your heroism today."
I was well-versed in this kind of stuff. You watch enough movies, read enough books, you learn a little bit about what they're going to tell you next. Of course, I had to sign the documentation that neither of us would ever talk about what we had seen today. We were to never acknowledge any information that was related to what had happened today. And we were to tell anyone we came across that we had a lovely second honeymoon trying to rekindle our marriage.
But in return, I did get some financial help from these guys. They gave me a reward of $100,000 each. Although I'd like for more, I'm not going to pester them with that feeling. Beggars can't be choosers, right?
Although after all of that happened, I and Cassie did manage to recover somewhat of our marriage for the time being. What happened that day wasn't going to save it though. In 2018, we decided to go our separate ways. But we still get together occasionally to talk about what happened on that fateful winter day in 2012. She says that she still has nightmares of that thing chasing after her. I don't suffer from the nightmares of that thing, but I can understand where she's coming from.
The recent events have changed that. After everything that happened and now that I've been a single man for quite some time now, I recently became more interested in what's going on above us.
I started collecting information about aliens, thinking that they were nothing more than little gray men and the occasional giant monster creature. Oh, how I was wrong. I was extraordinarily wrong about what was really going on in the stars.
But I suppose that isn't relative to this story. Despite all of the horror that I experienced, the horrors I experienced now are far worse, but I think it's time I sign off on this message. And so I will go back to a night of no sleep.

On the barren desert world of Tatooine, we see two sapphire sabers clashing with 4 soldiers surrounding them. After the younger of the two jedi was knocked to the ground, he began to notice a firefight in the orbit above.
Luke: Master, look up in orbit!
Obi-Wan: An Imperial Star destroyer? Here? There hasn’t been one around here in years.
In the battle above, Vader had commanded that the ship be neutralized for capture. Many rebels aboard the now captured ship took defensive positions the Empire prepared to breach the door. As the door was being sliced open, the explosion had sent fragments and smoke throughout the hall, giving the stormtroopers ample time to fire upon their targets. With the rebels on the backpedal, two inconspicuous droids made their way to Princess Leia so she could move the plans away from the ship.
When the captain of the security forces was surrounded, Raymus Antilles became the first target of interrogation by Lord Vader.
Vader: Search the servers for the plans.
Stormtrooper: Yes, my lord.
As a squad of stormtroopers cleared the server room. They began searching through the many files before sending one trooper back to report their lack of files.
Stormtrooper: The plans are not in the primary computer.
Vader: Where are those plans you've transmitted?
Raymus: We have received no such transmissions. This is a consular ship, we're on a diplomatic mission.
Vader: If this is a consular ship where is the ambassador?
Before Captain Antilles could answer, he had succumbed to the choke hold Vader had him in, and when Vader realized this, he had literally tossed him aside.
Vader: Commander, tear this ship apart until you found those plans, and bring me the passengers. I want them alive!!!
As Vader's forces swept through the ship, officers aboard the destroyer had seen an escape pod.
Officer 1: Sir, one of the escape pods has been jettisoned.
Officer 2: Hold your fire. There's no life forms aboard.
Officer 1: We need to report this to Lord Vader.
In one of the darker sections of the ship, 3 stormtroopers came across a woman in a white dress and cloak.
Stormtrooper 1: There's one. Set for stun.
After a brief exchange and 1 stormtrooper is killed, Leia then collapses after getting stunned and the pair of stormtroopers are about to bring her to Vader.
Stormtrooper 1: Inform Lord Vader we found our ambassador.
As Vader had intensely debated the Princess, Obi-wan, Luke, and the Bad Batch had found the escape pod with two droids that Kenobi could definitely recognize, despite not seeing them in almost 20 years.
3PO: Thank the Maker! I'm so glad that you came to rescue us. We came from a ship that rudely sent us away.
Kenobi: C-3PO? R2-D2?
3PO: Yes, I am C-3PO, human/cyborg relations, and this is my counterpart, R2-D2, who has been saying repeatedly to find an Obi-wan Kenobi.
Luke: Then you found him. Master, how do you know these droids?
Kenobi: That is a story for when we return back home.
When the pair of Jedi and clones returned to Kenobi's hut, R2 went to Kenobi and gave him the button input and Leia's message began to play for all of them to see.
Leia: General Kenobi. Years ago. You had served my father in the clone wars, from what he had told me prior to your rescuing me from Daiyu, you were a capable leader of men, and able to win battles for the Republic. Now, the Alliance is in its darkest hour. Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.
Obi-Wan had remembered rescuing her on Daiyu almost a decade ago, and knew that this would be a good test for Luke to face Vader. When the Bad Batch were curious to know what the plan was, Obi-wan had begun formulating a rescue attempt.
Kenobi: We need to head to Alderaan and meet with Bail once again. If we can meet with another spy within the network, we can use their ship to slip past the Imperial patrols.
Tech: If we do get caught, I can create some fake chain codes and get us past if we get stopped.
Luke: What do I need to do when we get to Alderaan, Master?
Kenobi: You will stay at my side in case Vader makes a surprise visit.
Luke: Vader? I'm not sure I'm ready for this.
Kenobi: Don't give into fear. It leads to the Dark side.
Luke: Yes, Master.
Aboard the Death Star, Leia is brought to the cell block and Vader begins the interrogation. A black, spherical droid with a syringe containing a truth serum floated into the cell approaching the Princess after a path was cleared.
After the serum entered Leia's system, Vader began to assist the hallucination, and slipped in a little bit of the truth unbeknownst to both parties.
VadeBail: Princess, this is your father. I've been cut off from my royal guard and need to retreat from Imperial Forces. Where is a rebel base I can evacuate to?
Despite Vader's efforts, Leia had resisted the urge to tell the truth, at the cost of immense pain and suffering. When the serum wore off Vader took the droid and reported to Tarkin on the observation deck.
Vader: Her resistance to the mind probe is astonishing, but she will break soon.
Tarkin: I understand, Lord Vader. We have to meet with the rest of the Moffs on level 81C.
As the many officers and Moffs have a heated discussion about the very station they are residing in, Tarkin and Vader come in and their mere presence had stopped the bickering, if only for a small moment.
Moff: The Rebellion, who's too well equipped, mind you, will continue to garner support in the Imperial Senate…
Tarkin: The Imperial Senate is no longer a concern to us. We had just received word that the Emperor has dissolved the council permanently. The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away for good.
Moff: This cannot be! How will we maintain control without the bureaucracy?
Tarkin: Regional governors, General Tagge. They will keep the systems in line through fear and maintain control over these territories.
Tagge: Again, what of the Rebels? If the plans remain in their hands, they may find a weakness and exploit it.
Vader: The plans in question will return to Imperial custody.
Motti: Any revolt made against this station by the rebels will be a futile gesture, no matter how much data they obtained. We are now standing inside the ultimate power in the universe. My suggestion is that we use it!
Vader: The power you boast about this technological terror, has inflamed and bloated your pride. The ability and decision to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.
As the Moff began to insecurity salvage his pride in the station to Lord Vader of all people, Vader had grown tired of this Moff's rambling and discrediting of the Force, and raised his hand to hold his tongue for the officer, or rather his throat.
Vader: I find your lack of faith disturbing.
Tarkin had noticed one of the moffs struggling and realized that Vader's physical domineering would further divide the conference and dely any decisions the Empire had to make.
Tarkin: Enough of this pointless bickering! Vader, release him!
Vader: As you wish.
Motti then began to regain his breathing and a newfound level of fear for the Dark lord.
Tarkin: Vader will extract the location of the Rebel Fortress and crush the Rebellion in one swift stroke by the time this station is operational.
Tarkin then adjourned the meeting and when the officers left, he sent a communication to the cell block.
Tarkin: Bring the princess to the observation deck. Her interrogation is far from over.
Station Trooper: Yes, Sir.
Tarkin: Observation deck, set course of Alderaan.
Officer: Yes, Sir.
When Vader and Tarkin arrived at the observation deck, they were greeted by the troopers escorting Princess Leia. The leader of the Imperial Moffs then mocked a courteous greeting to the rebellious princess and began his own methods of interrogation.
Tarkin: Princess Leia, how lovely to see you again.
Leia: Governor Tarkin, I knew I smelled a certain familiar stench when I was brought on board, as well as who held the leash of this mechanical monster.
Tarkin: Charming to the last. Before I sign the order of your execution, allow yourself to be my guest in unveiling the full power of this station, assuring that no one will be able to oppose the Emperor.
Leia: The tighter you make your grip, Governor, the more star systems will slip right through your fingers.
Tarkin: Not after this little ceremony, my dear. Since this is a special occasion, I will let you choose which planet will be destroyed first. Depending on your choice, I may disregard your execution.
Leia: The fact you have the guts to end my life surprises me. I never took you for someone to do such a thing.
Tarkin: Since you have proven yourself reluctant to give us the location of your rebel base, this station's inaugural target shall be your home planet of Alderaan.
Leia: No. Alderaan is peaceful! We have no arms to use and would never…
Tarkin: Then you would prefer another target? A military target? Then name the system!!!
Leia couldn't maintain her professional facade any longer and knew she had to pick a system to appease the Imperials' demands.
Vader had told Tarkin prior to bringing her to the observation deck that if she was to choose Dantooine, the place had been cleared out by Imperial Forces when they rescued him.
Tarkin: This will be the final time I ask you. Where is the rebel base, child?
Leia: Dantooine. They're… They're on Dantooine.
Tarkin then began to feel satisfied with the answer and continued with his operation to destroy Alderaan and continue to psychologically torment the young princess.
Tarkin: There. You see, Lord Vader? This one is capable of reason. Continue the operation and you may fire when ready.
Leia: What?!
Tarkin: You're far too trusting. Dantooine has been clear of any significant rebel activity for quite some time now and is unworthy of a proper demonstration. I will credit you for giving me some true information, but it was not the information I needed. No need to worry, Your Highness. Your rebel friends will be dealt with soon enough.
As the main superlaser eye of the Death Star began to charge, the people of Alderaan had no idea of their imminent demise from not only galactic records, but off the galactic map entirely. One such fighter, who had been punished years ago for insubordination was about to reenter the fight when the Empire cut his freedom to operate short.
Saw: I understand that my actions on Geonosis years ago were wrong, and that I had made a tactically unsound move against the Empire. I thank the ones that had rescued us and I apologize for the men I abandoned in pursuit of a goal that consumed me and made me act without honor.
Bail: You have served your sentence and we need your ability to lead now more than ever. Are you willing to keep yourself under control when being handed the responsibility of leadership once again?
A captain of the Alderaan protection detail had warned Bail Organa of the Empire's presence in the system with a large moon-like object appearing in their skies.
Saw looked up and saw it from his seat and whispered what would be his final words.
Saw: No… So this is how it ends. I'm ready. I'm coming, Steela.
As the eight small beams of light focused into a single beam of energy, every citizen of Alderaan sought cover, but the energy blast was too much for everything to withstand. When the blast reached the palace, Bail, Breha, Saw and every citizen, structure, and ship, as well of the planet itself, became nothing but debris, asteroids, and a symbol of the Empire's new capability of destruction.
Moments before the destruction of the planet, The Bad Batch had looked around for any sign of Luke's uncle and aunt. When Luke found the group near a destroyed homestead with Owen and Beru shot and beaten to death by Tusken raiders, Luke began to examine the bodies of the closest family he had for a little over half his life. Obi-Wan found the group and saw his apprentice begin shedding tears over who had been his guardians and family, something Kenobi knew his father had, but in Luke's case it was a more stable family than Anakin's. Luke remembered his Uncle showing him the unmarked stones near the homestead belonging to his biological grandmother and his step grandfather, and began carrying them to the burial plots near the two graves made over 2 decades ago. As the Bad Batch helped Luke bury them, Obi-Wan had some words of advice for the young Skywalker that he had regrettably neglected to give Anakin.
Kenobi: I never told your father this because I was too focused on my mission before the Clone Wars. Even though they had no belief in it like we do, they too are now one with the Force. If you need time to think about your path from this point forward, whatever you choose, I will completely understand.
Luke: It's alright, Master Kenobi. I want to continue my path as a Jedi, like my father before me. I understand why they showed me the graves of my grandparents and why they kept the truth about my father from me. When I chose to go with you, when I was a kid, I dedicated myself to the memory of who my father was. I still do so today. I will not let the memories of my father, my uncle, my aunt, nor even my mother be squandered in my path to be a Jedi.
Kenobi: I am so proud of you, Luke. Your father would be too.
Hunter: I understand the loss of a home, Luke. We all do.
Tech: Yes. Change is inevitable and if we take advantage of it, it'll be for the better.
Luke: Thank you all. Master, I have an idea. You and I will take the landspeeder and head into Mos Eisley and we'll find someone to take us to Alderaan and rescue the Princess.
Tech: What about the Marauder? We can take you there just fine.
Kenobi: You will be hunting the Tuskens that destroyed the homestead and killed the Lars family. Wrecker, you will pose as a wanderer and wizard sent to bring oblivion to the Tuskens.
Wrecker: Do I still get to blow stuff up?
Hunter: Yes, Wrecker. You're "commanding" explosions.
Wrecker: Oooooooooohhhhh!!!!!! I LIKE the sound of THAT!
As Wrecker and the Bad Batch tormented the tuskens, Luke and Obi-Wan went into town to find a member of their spy network and sneak them to Alderaan. When they pulled up to the cantina, the bartender gave them notice about the droids needing to stay outside. When a large hairy creature greeted the master, Obi-Wan understood him and beckoned Luke to follow him to the table where the Wookiee sat.
Han: My copilot, Chewbacca, tells me that you and a few others need a ride to Alderaan.
Kenobi: Yes, and you are.
Han: I'm Han Solo. Captain of the Millennium Falcon. What’s the cargo?
Kenobi: Let’s see, about six passengers, two droids, and no questions asked.
Han You are asking me to transport a lot of people. Given that amount, I have to take a certain fee for any extra passengers. I’d say that would get you about… let’s say… 24,000 credits.
Luke: Master, we can get a pretty decent and comfortable ship with that price.
Chewie then “nudged’ Han, although harder than a human is used to, to drop the price because of who they were.
Han: Alright, Chewie. Fine. I’ll drop the price. If we don’t get a real profit from these guys Jabba will leaving more than a slime trail wherever he goes. Alright, gentlemen, I’m willing to drop the price by 30%...
Chewie roared in a slight protest.
Han: Ok, 45%, because he likes your kind of people. Given that discount, you’ll owe me about 13,200 credits.
Kenobi: Sounds reasonable enough, if it’s a fast ship.
Han: Fast ship? You’ve never heard of the Millenium Falcon?! It’s the ship that made the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs. Name me one other ship that has done that or even anything close to it!
Kenobi: Alright. We’ll pay you 5,040 now, plus 17,400 when we reach Alderaan.
Han: 22? Hmm. Alright, old man, you got yourself a deal. Meet us in Hangar bay 77 when you’re ready.
When the Jedi left the cantina, Chewbacca went to get the repairs underway and prepared for a fight with anyone trying to stop them. Luke then contacted the spies they had assisted and told them to link with the bad batch. When the Clones dropped the ship in one of the other hangar bays, Tech used the forged chain code and met the group. After a confirmational exchange of ships, The Bad Batch received communications about the deal their Jedi commanders had struck with another deep cover spy.
Just as Han was about to leave the cantina himself, he was stopped by a Rodian with a blaster to his chest. When the pair sat back down, Han explained his tightness for credits to the Rodian messenger of Jabba the Hutt, to no avail. After a few more exchanges of quips and empty promises, both fired their blasters at the same time, but Han’s was the shot that landed in the Rodian’s chest, while the Rodian’s landed on the floor, startling the next customer that walked in. After shots were fired, Han paid the bartender for any damages that were caused by the short firefight.
When the Bad batch got to the hangar bay, they decided to wait by the door and split up walking around to blend in and waited on the Jedi as well as the pilot of their transport. As an Imperial squad came up to the pair near the landspeeder, the squad asked for their identification, but the Jedi have been practicing.
Stormtrooper: Let me see your ID’s please.
Obi-Wan: You don’t need to see our identifications.
Stormtrooper: ‘We don’t need to see your identifications.’
Luke: You will apologize for interrupting our business.
Stormtrooper: ‘We apologize for interrupting your business.’
Kenobi: Move along.
Stormtrooper: Move along. Move along.
As Jabba found Solo, who had snuck up behind him and Han made his case personally. After convincing the large slug-like crime lord to give him more time to pay the debt he owed, Boba had a strange suspicion that that turn of events was not going to transpire.
A black hooded figure with a comlink had found the Millenium Falcon and notified the Imperial Garrison to meet him near the hangar bays. The squad commander had asked for directions and the black-hooded spy pointed through the doorway to Bay 77. As the Bad Batch boarded the YT-1300 freighter, Luke and Obi-wan were right behind them and as Han and Chewbacca were about to board and get it up and running, the squad of stormtroopers had rushed into the hangar bay and Han landed a few well-placed shots, before Chewie fired up the engines and escaped the clutches of the sand troopers on Tatooine.
On the other side of the spaceport, another rebel spy group took the Marauder back to Yavin 4 to take the heat off of the Falcon.
When the coast was clear, the group came out of the hidden compartments in the floor of the ship Han used to smuggle spice. Han and Obi-Wan were coming up with a plan that involved disabling the tractor beam, rescuing the princess, and leaving the station. Tech, Han, Luke and Hunter were the only ones that could fit the Stormtrooper armor so they were going to don the disguises. Echo and Kenobi were going to disable the tractor beam, and Wrecker was going to stay with the droids and update the team regarding the ship.
Han had called out for some assistance with a lot of "cargo" to offload and Echo and Tech blasted the four that came up and stripped them of their armor and weapons. Luke then donned his armor and Obi-Wan held onto his apprentice's blade as the pair split up to perform their parts of the plan.
Wrecker stayed in the Falcon and kept a watch on the two droids while the rest of them went along with the plan. When the group made it to the observation post above the hangar, they decided to get their nerves out in the air.
Tech: I can concur with Rex. These Stormtrooper helmets are really difficult to see out of.
Hunter: Can't say I agree. I'm not having any problems seeing out of this.
Echo: Because Tarkin probably saw your helmet design and mass produced it for the stormtrooper design.
Han: Cut it out! I need to think!
Obi-Wan: Echo, you're with me.
Han: Where are you two going?
Kenobi: Disabling the tractor beam like we planned.
Han: Alright, old man. At least someone remembers the plan.
Kenobi: You know your position, Luke. May the Force be with you all.
After the Negotiator and Clone snuck their way to the tractor beam control room, Han and the rest of the "stormtroopers" began "escorting" their wookiee prisoner to the cell block to get the princess from her cell. Whenever the group was alone, they'd have their own conversations about the past, opinions about those they just met, and put them aside when they regrouped.
After X1 had finished his Force-assisted torture, Leia was visibly shaking from the nightmares X1 put into her mind. In her mind, she kept the image of the Jedi who rescued her and the hope that the rebellion remained safe. The lightsaber wielding commander then felt a disturbance in the force and decided to inform his master.
X1: The princess has been interrogated, but I saw in her mind a forest with ruins, it was dark inside what looked like a temple, but the images flashed at a blazing speed. Also, I feel a disturbance in the Force.
Vader: Excellent work, my apprentice. I have felt it too, but it seems familiar to me.
X1: The one that I have felt is someone far younger. Could it possibly be an apprentice? As Vader and X1 continued to identify who they found in the Force, Vader figured it out and ordered X1 to follow him. They were to update Tarkin about who they found.
Back with the Cell block, the officers and other stormtroopers were killed and another officer had tried to check on the cell block from the comms.
Officer: We heard blaster fire coming from your cell block. What’s wrong?
Han: Uh, uh, my apologies. There was a slight weapons malfunction. We’re alright now. Thank you.
Officer. We’ll send a medical team immediately to your location.
Han: NO, no! One of the stray shots triggered a reactor leak and it’s a rather large one. I repeat, large leak, very dangerous.
Officer: Who is this? What’s your Identification number?
Han had no idea what to tell the officer next and in his stress, fired at the comms and sped up the rescue plan. Luke opened the cell to see Leia get up from her cell’s bed/seat and comment about his height.
Luke: Huh? Oh, yeah. I’m Luke Skywalker, we’re here to rescue you. My master is Obi-Wan Kenobi.
The mention of Obi-Wan sparked the Princess to join in the escape and Chewie, Tech, Hunter, and Han were holding back the incoming waves of Stormtroopers trying to find a way out. When Luke found a grate, he told Han to cover him, but Leia took the blaster and covered him while he used the Force to remove the grate. When the wookiee, clones, smuggler, princess, and jedi padawan jumped into the grate, Luke sealed the grate shut with the Force and they found out that they were in the trash compactor.
Back with the elder Jedi and the clone, they found the tractor beam terminals but Echo did his best to act like a droid doing maintenance. What moved the troopers away from the clone was the Jedi making an imaginary stone appear and knock on the walls, forcing the troopers to check it out. When the tractor beam generators were deactivated, the Jedi and Clone went their separate ways back to the Falcon. When Vader and X1 approached Tarkin they gave him their confirmed identities of the jedi.
Vader: He is here.
Tarkin: Obi-Wan Kenobi?
X1: He also has an apprentice with him. We will put an end to these Jedi and grind the rebel’s efforts to a halt.
Tarkin then recieved a communication from another officer about the Princess escaping her cell with some help. Vader then ordered a new squad of troopers to report to the hangar where the Falcon was kept and capture any others who are aboard or nearby.
As the stormtroopers scrambled to find the Princess and her rescue party, the droids stopped the trash compactor from crushing the group, and when they got the uncomfortable plastoid armor off, Luke departed from the group to get his saber back. As the clones, smuggler, and wookiee saw the Falcon in the hangar bay they had to plan how to get past the stormtroopers.
Leia: You came in that thing? You’re much braver than I thought.
Han: See, fuzzball, I told you she would be interested.
Leia: Keep it in check, flyboy.
In the hangar bay, Wrecker began to get a bit nervous and saw the dorids moving the mechanism before hearing stormtroopers secure the hangar, and lots of them. Before X1 joined his master, he planted a tracking beacon on the Falcon so they could escape and lead them to the rebel base. Just as Echo reunited with the group, Obi-wan had begun hearing a breathing along with two sets of footsteps. Vader and Obi-wan activated their blades with Luke’s gaze fixed on Vader, while X1 had his eyes focused on Luke.
Vader: I’ve been waiting for you, Kenobi. We meet again at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner, now I am the master.
Kenobi: Only a master of evil, Sith.
As the two blades clashed, X1 had begun charging at Luke with his saber ignited. Luke snapped out of the stare of awe and focussed on his first test. He activated his blade before X1’s sapphire blade could cut off the young padawn’s head with a reverse gripped slash.
X1: It’s been a very long while since I clashed blades with a Jedi. Didn't your so-called master teach you about underestimating your opponents?
Luke: You’d be surprised.
As the two continued clashing blades, X1 continued to use his own version of Dun Moc to excite himself and add more fury to his strikes. During one clash, Luke mentioned that he talked too much and broke the saber clash, landed a kick to his gut and pushed him into the adjacent wall knocking him out. Luke then made his way to confront Vader with Obi-Wan. Luke activated his blade and the duo managed to put Vader on the backpedal. When a blast door closed separating Luke and Obi-wan, Obi-wan was alone in facing Vader.
Vader: Your powers are weak, old man. Your apprentice is strong, but not strong enough.
Kenobi: He may have much to learn, but if you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine. You know you can’t win this, Sith.
As Luke saw Vader and his master dueling, even the stormtroopers took an interest in something that hadn’t happened in a little over 3 years for some, but only 3 days for others. This gave the rebels and droids a chance to escape, but Wrecker was ready for a firefight, and almost raring for one. As Luke saw his amster for what would be the last time, Kenobi surrendered himself to the will of the Force. As Vader took a downward slash from Kenobi’s left shoulder across his chest, but to the surprise of both Vader and Luke, Kenobi disappeared into thin air. This was a lesson that Kenobi had learned while in exile and while training Luke. He became one with the force the instant upon death.
Luke: NO!!!
With that, the stormtroopers focussed their fire on the escaping rebels, and Wrecker was having a blast, figuratively and literally. Luke activated his blade and deflected blaster fire with every shot that came his way, and when one shot hit the blast door’s control panel, Vader began to see the battle for himself. Luke had continued to fight off the Imperial blaster fire despite all the others telling him to get on board. As the Blast doors closed, the only voice that got Luke to budge was that of Kenobi. Vader had heard this and slowly became unsettled.
Kenobi Ghost: Run, Luke! Run!!
Vader: Kenobi?
As Luke ran for the Falcon, the crew lifted off and Vader ordered a squad of TIEs to pursue the Falcon.
X1: No, Master. We have to let the ship go.
Vader: You dare disobey me?!
X1: No, Master. I slipped a tracking device into the ship so we can jump to where the base is.
Vader: I see. Your training has served you well.
When the crew escaped, Wrecker and Hunter manned the top and bottom guns to repel the TIE fighter squadron sent to take them down. Luke had secured Leia and allowed himself to break down and let out some of his emotions, although slowly. In that moment, the voices in his head soothing him were Obi-Wan, Yoda, and a Jedi he had met on Mandalore once.
As Han and Chewbacca began maneuvering in ways that the TIEs were missing most of their shots, Wrecker and Hunter had each tagged 2 as Luke stood in the middle of the guns and closed his eyes. He reached out with the Force and threw one fighter into the other to the surprise of the clones in the turrets. After the last of the TIEs were shot down, they began heading back to Yavin, with Luke passed out from exhaustion. Wrecker carried the unconscious padawan to the bunks and when Leia woke up Luke, the group exited the Falcon and Han and Chewie collected the payment and began to store it in the Falcon.
Luke was going into the briefing when he was stopped by a Togruta.
Ahsoka: Luke. Hey. Are you alright?
Luke: Ahsoka? I thought you'd be in a deep cover operation.
Ahsoka: Master Yoda told me to look after you. I know what happened to Master Kenobi.
Luke: I'll meet up with you later. I have to get to this briefing.
As Luke got into the meeting, he listened to how the battle station was going to be attacked. In the Hangar bay, Leia and Chewbacca had been talking to Han to convince him to stay with the rebellion.
Han: With this payment, I can get that slimo off my back and be done with this Empire nonsense.
Leia: If you do get whoever it is you owe out of your life, what will you do next, in case you didn't realize it, your best friend has been part of our Alliance for years.
Han: What?! Why didn't you tell me, scruffy?
Chewie then explained to Han about it and Han had started thinking about ending their friendship with Chewie right then and there.
After the Bad Batch reunited with their ship, they found a familiar Twi'lek and caught up on everything that went on between them. They even met a young Jacen Syndulla for a short while before hearing over the intercom that the Death Star had arrived in their orbit.
Leia: While the Empire may have found our location, we can still prevent them from wiping us out in both the surface and in orbit. Rex, you and Ahsoka prepare the ground forces for a ground assault and any reprisals after we destroy the station. Ahsoka, if Vader joins the ground assault, you take him down. X2, Grey Leader, you and your Squadron know your mission with Gold and Red squadrons.
As every pilot began boarding their fighters and bombers, Luke happened to run into an old friend.
Biggs: Luke?
Luke: Biggs!!!!
Biggs: What are you doing here? I thought you were still shooting womp rats on Tatooine!
Luke: I've actually been with Old Ben and learned some pretty cool skills.
Biggs: you got one of those laser sword things?
Luke: Yeah, but this was my father's.
Biggs: Still, a Jedi! Whaddaya know?!
Luke: It's a lifetime commitment, but we gotta get up there!
Biggs: Right! See you up there.
After the X-wings and Y-wings got up to orbit and every wing reported in.
X2: Grey Leader, Standing by.
Rebel Pilot 1: Gold Leader Standing by.
Rebel Pilot 2: Red 3, standing by.
Rebel Pilot 3: Gold 4, standing by.
Rebel Pilot 4: Red 2, standing by.
Rebel Pilot 5: Red Leader, standing by.
Biggs: Red 7, standing by.
Porkins: Red 6, standing by.
Grey 3: Grey 3, standing by.
Rebel Pilot 6: Gold 3, standing by.
Grey 2: Grey 2, standing by.
After many pilots fell in line, Luke was the last to finish it off before the rebels advanced on the station.
Luke: Red 5, standing by.
Back on the Ground, Wolffe had made himself known to the princess and offered to lead the ground assault when the battle above concluded. The princess granted his request due to his previous service in the Clone Wars.
Wolffe: Mech, get to the walker and take position near the left side of the temple! Massiff Squad, take your positions near the ruins and cover the walker as it comes by. Hunter, Tech, take a few soldiers and do some recon. Wrecker, stay near the AAC-2 tanks and tackle any additional heavy threats. And Rex…
Rex: I got my position, Wolffe, you gonna command the battle from the Walker?
Wolffe: Yes. What about the Commandos?
Rex: Boss, Fixer, cover the Recon team as they surveil the enemy.
Clones and Rebels: Yes, Sir!
As the battle began to rage above the surface of the battle station, Red Squadron handled the fighters, Grey Squadron targeted the turbolasers near the trench, and Gold Squadron was to deliver the ordinance into the exhaust port that was about two meters in diameter.
Inside the Death Star, Stormtroopers and pilots were scrambling to their fighters and X1 reconvened with his master as Vader began laying out the plan.
Vader: X1, You are to reboard your destroyer and take as many troops as you possibly can for a ground assault. You two pilots, with me.
X1: Master, I will lead the ground attack and catch the rebels off guard. After your role in the defense is done, reboard my destroyer. Let them think you are dead or at least out of commission.
Vader: Go to the other side of the planet before the assault begins.
X1: Yes, Master. All ground troops report to the hangar bays and board the Avarice.
When Vader and his TIE escorts joined the battle, the bombers began their attack through the trench. As the trio of TIEs pursued the bombers, many fighters were too occupied by the other fighters and turrets to divert their attention to Vader. In a few decisive moves by the Empire, all the Y-wings but Gold 2 were shot down, Red Leader, Red 6, and Red 9 were shot down.
Luke: Grey Leader, See if you can take off some of those TIEs, a couple of us are going into the trench.
X2: Copy, Red 5. Grey's 4, 3, and 5, go with Red Squadron and take down more of those fighters and turbolasers. Grey's 2 and 6, with me. We have to cover the trench.
Grey Squadron: Yes, Sir!
Gold 2: Red 3, This is Gold 2. Can you take a couple fighters and get the Imperials off me?!
Wedge: Copy, Gold 2.
Luke then switched on the targeting computer and had Red 7 and Red 2 covering him. Vader then made another attack run. Vader then took down the X-wing on the right and Luke realized that it was his best friend. After Luke was by himself, another voice spoke to him.
Kenobi Ghost: Use the Force, Luke.
With those words, Luke switched off his targeting computer and everyone monitoring Luke noticed.
Vader: The Force is strong with this one.
Rebel officer: Luke, you switched off your targeting computer. What's wrong?
Luke: Nothing. I'm alright.
When Vader had locked onto Luke's X-wing, a stray barrage of blaster bolts destroyed the TIE on Vader's right. This caught Luke and Vader by surprise, but Luke heard a familiar whoop from the smuggler who helped rescue the princess. When the TIE on Vader's left went Rogue and escaped the trench, Vader lost control of his fighter and flew out of the trench.
As Tarkin found a straight shot to the planet, Luke was speeding ever closer to the exhaust port.
Han: You're all clear, kid! Now let's blow this thing and go home!!!
As Luke took the shot, every rebel had their fingers crossed, and every Imperial Moff and officer that remained on the station had kept doing their duties and hoped that the rebels were quashed. As the proton torpedoes entered the port and Luke pulled up with every rebel ship, including the Falcon evacuated the battle station, one large explosion put an end to 2 decades of oppression on a large scale.
Han: Great shot, kid! That was one in a million!
After some more encouraging words from Obi-Wan's ghost. Luke came down from the adrenaline in his system and when the rebels landed, R2 had to go into the repair room and the rebels prepared a ceremony awarding Luke, Han, Chewbacca, Wedge, X2, and many others. Ahsoka and Rex were watching it and the togruta began to tear up because Luke's actions reflected that of her master.
Rex: I recognize that kind of flying anywhere in the galaxy.
Ahsoka: That's our Skyguy.
The following day, the rebels had prepared escape plans for the Empire's revenge. The AT-TE was positioned in a hidden side of the temple and covered in camouflage. The rebels and Clone specialists took their positions as Hunter led the Recon team of Tech, a few rebels, with Boss and Fixer covering their flanks.
Back at the base, Wolffe commanded the Vehicles from the AT-TE with Mech taking the pilot seat. As Rex and Ahsoka led the defense, X1 began leading the assault with Crosshair at his side once again.
With the clone recon team, Hunter found Crosshair with X1 and Hunter had to put aside his rage and report back to the Alliance command.
Hunter: Commander, We have a positive ID on the Imperial Assault. Crosshair is second in command.
Rex: I see. Massiff Squad, take your positions by the fountain.
Howzer: Right away, Sir! Boys, we need to hold the fountain. It's gonna be a clean path for the Empire if they don't make it through the ruins.
Tech: Wrecker, can you position yourself near the ruins and beat down any Imperial tanks?
Wrecker: Sure thing, Tech! I'm ready to blow some stuff up!!
When Leia had begun evacuating the transport ships, Luke, Han, Chewie and the princess had to find locations for a rebel base. As X1 began the charge he sent the walkers through the ruins and tanks through the hills. Crosshair stayed in cover moving with every shot he took.
As the Commandos saw X1 join the battle, they threw 2 thermal detonators at him, but X1 saw this coming and blocked it with the Force. As the two commandos fought the Imperial commander in hand to hand, X1 thought that these commandos would be easy pickings. After Fixer landed a mandalorian martial arts combo on the Imperial commander, the now bleeding commander thought that the fun was over. Boss drew his blaster and X1 drew his own and as the two began to fire, X1 threw Fixer towards the other commando. As the two commandos got up, they both charged the secret sith apprentice, but Boss was stabbed by the commander's sapphire blade. The blade had impaled his stomach, and X1 then slashed across the commando' chest. As the Commando collapsed on the ground, Fixer began firing his blaster at the commander, while X1 deflected every shot until the commando ditched the blaster and extended the wrist gauntlet blades and he lunged from above only to be suspended with the Force. After getting thrown, X1, twirled with the blade, cutting through his chest and decapitating the clone. X1 then pursued the rebels and joined his men.
As X2 had begun repairing the systems along with Echo, Shara had begun helping X2 take down the data spike and extracting the information before heading to the AA guns. When X2 had to reach a certain part on a high ledge, he tried jumping for it, but when he leaped high into the air, he grabbed the item and landed on his feet with some struggle. When X2 and Shara got the data extracted, Echo boarded the Marauder and went to pick up the rest of his squad.

**Introduction**
1) Will this be your first dog? If not, what experience do you have owning/training dogs? * No, we adopted a 2-3 yr. old Pekingese mix in May 2020.
2) Do you have a preference for rescuing a dog vs. going through a [reputable breeder] * Rescue
3) Describe your ideal dog. * Not too active, not super barky or loud (i.e. current dog likes to protect the house and barks at pretty much any living thing she sees out the front window, so a dog more chill than that would be nice).
4) What breeds or types of dogs are you interested in and why? * I think I'd like a Bichon, Papillion, Pug, Boston Terrier or Havanese, maybe a poodle mix. Maybe a Cavalier but also worry about the health issues. We are OK with a mutt mix and realize that is most likely what we would get in a rescue. Hubby would probably like a bigger dog. I do not want a large dog, and am not interested in Shepherds, Huskies, Pit Bulls, or Doberman Pinschers. Need a dog with little prey drive since we have a skittish small cat and we live with wildlife around us.
5) What sorts of things would you like to train your dog to do? * basic commands, play fetch/return
6) Do you want to compete with your dog in a sport (e.g. agility, obedience, rally) or use your dog for a form of work (e.g. hunting, herding, livestock guarding)? If so, how much experience do you have with this work/sport? * No
**Care Commitments**
7) How long do you want to devote to training, playing with, or otherwise interacting with your dog each day? *Hubby and I work from home with somewhat flexible schedules but often have kid activities in the evenings. Could attend training classes on weekends if needed.
8) How long can you exercise your dog each day, on average? What sorts of exercise are you planning to give your dog regularly and does that include using a dog park? * We currently do a 15-20 min. walk at lunch time each day and fetch in the yard in the late afternoon with our current dog, so probably a similar routine with second dog. She is also small enough to play fetch in our house (throwing the toy down the hallway for her to chase). That would be hard to do with 2 dogs though. We do have a local dog park but only take our current dog there occasionally on weekends.
9) How much regular brushing are you willing to do? Are you open to trimming hair, cleaning ears, or doing other grooming at home? If not, would you be willing to pay a professional to do it regularly? * Brushing can be daily or a few times a week. We take our Peke to a groomer about every 6-8 weeks (sooner for nail trims if needed). I bath her in our bath tub when the stretches are longer between groomer trips.
**Personal Preferences**
10) What size dog are you looking for? * ideal size would be 20-35 lbs.
11) How much shedding, barking, and slobber can you handle? * Some shedding is OK, but would prefer not constant shedding. Same with barking. Not a fan of slobber or other messes. Also I am very sensitive to smells and don't love super doggy smell (it has not been a problem with our current dog because she stays pretty clean).
12) How important is being able to let your dog off-leash in an unfenced area? * Our house is on an acre of land and we own a separate 1.4 acre next door but none of it is fenced. Our property also is adjacent to a wooded area and there is wildlife (squirrels, ground hogs, sometimes deer and turkey). Our current dog knows our property boundaries pretty well and stays within the yard to play fetch. We do not let her outside by herself though.
**Dog Personality and Behavior**
13) Do you want a snuggly dog or one that prefers some personal space? * Definitely a snuggler who wants to cozy up on the couch while we read, watch tv, etc.
14) Would you prefer a dog that wants to do its own thing or one that’s more eager-to-please? * eager to please
15) How would you prefer your dog to respond to someone knocking on the door or entering your yard? How would you prefer your dog to greet strangers or visitors? * Current dog barks and then runs and hides when someone comes. I don't mind a quick bark to alert us someone is at the door, but not a dog that constantly barks when someone visits.
16) Are you willing to manage a dog that is aggressive to other dogs? * No, since we have another dog and a cat in the house.
17) Are there any other behaviors you can’t deal with or want to avoid? * Would prefer a dog that is already house trained
**Lifestyle**
18) How often and how long will the dog be left alone? * Hubby and I work from home. When we do go out we currently try to be out for no longer than 5 hours at a time. For vacations and weekend trips so far we have taken the dog with us, though I need to start exploring for a pet sitter in case we want to do airline travel.
19) What are the dog-related preferences of other people in the house and what will be their involvement in caring for the dog? * Current dog is very attached to me and hubby wants a dog for himself, though I would help with normal care. Oldest daughter does not like big dogs. Youngest daughter loves any living thing, lol.
20) Do you have other pets or are you planning on having other pets? What breed or type of animal are they? * 5-6 yr. old Peke/Beagle/Shit Zu/Poodle mix, 12 yr. old cat that is pretty skittish as our dog likes to play chase with it. Currently the cat stays in the basement most of the time and the dog on the main floor. Youngest daughter has two gerbils in a glass aquarium in her bedroom.
21) Will the dog be interacting with children regularly? * 14 and 16 yr. old daughters.
22) Do you rent or plan to rent in the future? If applicable, what breed or weight restrictions are on your current lease? * own our house
23) What city or country do you live in and are you aware of any laws banning certain breeds? * US. Only breed restrictions are for homeowners insurance and I'm not interested in those breeds.
24) What is the average temperature of a typical summer and winter day where you live? * Summer in the 80's, Winter typically in the 20-40 range. We experience all 4 seasons but not a ton of snow.
**Additional Information and Questions**
25) Please provide any additional information you feel may be relevant. * We are just exploring a possible 2nd dog, as our current dog tolerates my husband but is really my little shadow. He would like a companion as well. Current dog is not well socialized though. She is dominant with our friend's smaller poodle/bichon mix and does not like our neighbor's mini schnauzer who barks all the time. She seems to do better with quiet/calm dogs that are slightly bigger. If a dog barks at her or comes at her she will be tough and try to defend herself, so if we get another dog it would have to be a calm dog, possibly an older dog. I am just looking for breed suggestions to keep my eye out at local rescues for something that would fit our needs/desires, as most of the rescues tend to be pitt or shepherd mixes which I am not interested in.

In this post I'll be accurately scaling Zoro and justifying why I believe he's at the very least a yonko level combatant.
​
Strength -
For Zoro's striking strength, we see that in his Ashura state he can clash with Hybrid mode Kaido, outspeed, and scar him.
For Zoro's AP, it is implied that he's capable of harming Flame Mode King, in this scan Zoro mocks King for dodging even though he's in his invincible state, both implying that he'd get hurt regardless (hence why King only uses Speed Mode from that point onwards).
---- This is big, because Flame Mode King is implied to have higher durability than Kaido himself by King. Or if the implication isn't enough, straight feats show that the same attack that cut up dragon Kaido did absolutely nothing to King.
This puts King's durability as number 1 in the verse right above Kaido's, and if Zoro can harm the number 1 durability, then he could potentially harm anyone in the series given his attacks land.
​
Final tally: Zoro can clash with one of the most physically tough monsters in the series in Ashura, and in base+coating he is implied to be capable of harming the number 1 durability in the series, so it's fair to say Zoro's strength is **yonko level**.
​
​
​
Speed -
For reaction speed, Zoro can perform an attack on Speed mode King who has earlier moved so fast Zoro couldn't even perceive him.
For movement speed, Zoro blitzes across the entire battlefield to intercept Big Mom who is closer to Luffy AND then intercepts her attack, as the manga confirms she did perform the attack
Is also able to dodge Big Mom's sword swing casually while holding another person with no special technique
For combat speed, he's able to run towards speed mode King and perform his attack before King can react. This is the classic definition of a blitz.
This is all without taking Ashura into account. Ashura Zoro is relative to hybrid Kaido in speed as they clash numerously, and when Kaido went for an upper swing was able to outspeed him, meaning Kaido needs to take Ashura Zoro seriously in terms of speed. (Explained in the Strength section)
​
Final tally: Zoro is above everyone on rooftop except Luffy and Kaido in terms of speed, easily faster than Big Mom, who was able to tag Marco once she got serious. The same Marco is portrayed to be relative to the admirals and shows relative or higher speeds to them in Marineford.
Zoro is easily in the high admiral tiers of speed and could match characters like Akainu, being generous.
​
​
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Durability -
Can tank some of Big Mom's attacks such as Tenjin while off guard
Can tank a Thunder Bagua from Kaido while on the ground and nearly dead; the panel is not clear but the anime clears it further [Preponderance of Evidence]
With armament coating on his body, can take zero damage from attacks that'd have killed him
Coating his swords in armament allowed them to hold off Hakai for a few seconds, that same armament can be used to coat his body.
​
Final Tally: With armament on his body he can tank low-yonko attacks or withstand high-yonko pressure attacks for small periods of time. Easily yonko level durability
​
Endurance -
After holding off an attack that'd have shattered his entire body, Zoro can perform one of the greatest AP feats in the series (Ashura)
Took double damage from everything that happened during the raid and survived
Nothing Happened
​
Final Tally: Zoro has some of the best endurance in the entire franchise lmao
​
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So what does all of this prove? Zoro can hurt pretty much anyone given his attacks land, he can outspeed people like the admirals and probably be relative to Kizaru, he can tank attacks from yonkos given he can coat himself, and he can take insane amounts of damage. This all leads me to believe Zoro is at the very least **low-yonko or high admiral** in strength.

• Her a3 ALWAYS lands the debuff no matter if your attack misses or not, UNLESS the target is immune to stun or has an immunity buff (duh).
  
• The unique debuff description is so freaking wrong in so many levels. It DOES NOT give the inflicted target AP, It actually gives Jin-Hee AP. They need to hire a better translator(s), seriously.
  
• Jin-Hee will gain AP no matter if the attack on the debuffed unit misses or not
  
• If your unit procs an Astralis set and attack the debuffed unit again, Jin-Hee will gain AP TWICE
  
• Multi-Hit/Pursuit abilities on debuffed target will only give Jin-Hee 10% AP, this also includes Alice's assist attack. So yeah, even if the assist procs, Jin-Hee still gains only 10% AP.
  
• [ADDED] Counter attacks from Avatara also gives her AP, as long as the unit that procs avatara have the ability to also attack the debuffed unit.
  
• [ADDED] Bleed/Poison also give her AP
  
• [ADDED] Netherbloom blast from Jiang man can also gives her AP. But if there's another instance of dmg, Jin-Hee will still only gains 10% AP.
  
• [ADDED] Brisingamen's Watch (Eira's unique buff) stacks with her debuff. This means if Jin-Hee has Eira's buff and ANY of your units attack the debuffed target, she will gain 25% AP.
  
• [ADDED] Don't think this will be much but, if somehow you are able to land 2 or more of Jin-Hee's unique debuff, she will gain 10% AP for EACH unit that got attacked while they have Dizzy Daze active. This means if 2 of the enemy units are inflicted with Dizzy Daze and you throw an AoE, Jin-Hee will gains 20% AP. So yeah, theoretically speaking, Jin-Hee can gains up to 50% AP this way.
  
• [ADDED] If your ability deals no damage, eg. Pandora's a3, It will not give Jin-Hee AP.
  
• Her A3 buff is random, it has nothing to do with the elements at all. Meaning she will grant ONE random buff from the list every time she use her a3 to all your units. Not one random buff for each unit, only one buff each time she uses her a3. The wording for this ability is so freaking confusing. But yeah, she definitely not a reliable esper in this regard.
  
• Dunno if it's only me, but her a2 description is also kinda confusing. Basically, only the 'stealing 1 buff' has 70-80% proc chance, others has 100% chance. Meaning as long as you don't miss, the stealing ap and cd up part will always proc (can still be resisted/immune like normal tho)
  
• [ADDED - Thanks to u/Mikkoku] Her Dizzy Daze can be extended by debuff extending abilities.
  

That's about it. Dunno if these will change anyone opinions of her but i think her kit is kinda interesting.

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Synopsis:
Juliette Contzen is a lazy, good-for-nothing princess. Overshadowed by her siblings, she's left with little to do but nap, read … and occasionally cut the falling raindrops with her sword. Spotted one day by an astonished adventurer, he insists on grading Juliette's swordsmanship, then promptly has a mental breakdown at the result.
Soon after, Juliette is given the news that her kingdom is on the brink of bankruptcy. At threat of being married off, the lazy princess vows to do whatever it takes to maintain her current lifestyle, and taking matters into her own hands, escapes in the middle of the night in order to restore her kingdom's finances.
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Action, Fantasy, Copious Ohohohohos.
​
Chapter 13: Clockwork Doll
Apple let out a snort as he plodded along the uneven dirt lane. Whether it was the rapidly degrading quality of the roads or the new company he found himself in that was the source of his ire, I would never know.
Beside us was Coppelia, walking at an easy pace despite the many sacks she was swinging. Swinging. Not carrying. She didn't sling those sacks of loot over her back like some overworked mule, but swung them as she walked like a young girl toying with a basket of flowers in the meadows.
It was a ridiculous sight. A girl keeping up with a trotting horse while also carrying more than the animal's burden. Granted, as a work horse, Apple was no galloping steed. He went as fast as he wanted. And that was very slow.
Still, I had to accept the slight on Apple's image. The horse could not have carried the extra weight. He lacked the bridle necessary to pull a cart. And while I'm certain I would have fashioned a solution, I wasn't one to reject the appeasement of commoners.
Thus, girl on foot.
Or rather, a clockwork doll.
“You know, you've been staring for a while,” said Coppelia, turning to show the giant golden key sticking out of her back. “Go on. Want to touch it?”
She didn't look the slightest bit shy. And I didn't act the slightest bit incurious.
It'd take a level of ignorance neither of us possessed to pretend that she wasn't an extreme rarity in this kingdom. Only a few workshops possessed the knowledge, technical and magical expertise to build clockwork dolls. And none of them were in Tirea.
The fabrication process required to create one was said to be so demanding that it was always clear when a doll was being built. Sales of coffee beans boomed.
And now I fully understood why.
A girl whose beauty almost rivalled mine. Almost. She looked my age, or perhaps a year younger. A sweet and dignified appearance, yet she had a spritely smile full of mischief … as well as cogs, sprockets and gears.
Seeing such a marvel of engineering before me, I now fully understood what I had to do.
… I had to build my own!
What was this?! Not only was she pretty. But she was strong! She couldn't just carry tea cups. She could carry me! With someone like that by my side, I wouldn't need to work an extra day in my life!
“M-May I?” I replied, urging Apple to slide over as I reached down for the golden key. “Do I just … touch it?”
“Sure. Just make sure you don't turn it.”
“I see … and what would occur should I accidentally turn it?”
Coppelia puffed up her cheeks, then popped the air.
“Boom.”
My hand froze. I looked at Coppelia.
She didn't correct herself.
“Per … Perhaps it's better if I don't,” I said, swiftly uprighting myself on the saddle. “Besides, you're hardly some plaything to be prodded and poked. I apologise for my less than discreet ogling. Clockwork dolls are not known to visit Tirea.”
“I bet. I mean, who'd want to visit this tiny kingdom out in the boonies?”
I almost choked on my response, such was the speed at which my indignation sought to leave my lips.
No matter how wonderful this invention of engineering was, that didn't give her a blank cheque to disregard my kingdom like some downtrodden restaurant!
“T-Tiny?! The … The boonies?! Miss—”
“Coppelia.”
“Coppelia! This is a majestic kingdom, graced with verdant fields and enterprising scholars! I assure you, there is nothing tiny or … or boonie-like about this rich land!”
“Really? My memory core must be out of whack. It says the Kingdom of Tirea is the second smallest independent nation-state by surface area on this continent, and that it's gross economic output—”
“Shhshhshhshh!! This … This kingdom holds treasures beyond the definition of crowns and industry. We measure prosperity in different ways. In culture. In harmony. And in peace.”
“You were attacked by bandits five minutes ago.”
“A most unfortunate and poorly timed coincidence that doesn't reflect the safe and harmonious nature of this kingdom.”
Coppelia giggled, delicately bringing up the back of her hand to hide her lips … all the while still gripping those huge sacks.
Such brutish strength! It was … marvellous!
Imagine if I had such a useful attendant by my side! The next time Roland hid behind a door to frighten me, I could order her to rip the door off and launch it and him through the nearest window! The possibilities were endless!
“Unfortunate and poorly timed coincidences are the domain of Ouzelia, actually. It's pretty much our trademark, and we guard it zealously. I'm afraid you can't have that.”
Her words could have been written as jest, but her tone was anything but.
“I see. My tutors always said that Ouzelia was a land of splendour and opportunity, and that its freedoms exceeded even that of Tirea.”
“A rotten lie. What did they actually say?”
“That it was full of oddballs and I should stay away.”
“Much better.” Coppelia twirled as she took her next steps forwards, swinging the sacks perilously close to Apple's side as she spun. “Ah, Ouzelia, where dragons roam the skies and there exists no fiction in fairytales. Humans live with ogres. Ogres live with goblins. Goblins live with … well, nobody since they're kinda grouchy. How are the ones here?”
I gave it a moment's thought, then decided to answer honestly.
“Still grouchy.”
“Goblins, eh?”
“Goblins.”
I nodded, needing to say little else.
At least ours were fiercely isolationist. As were our ogre clans. Such a mixing of cultures could never be considered in Tirea, where few non-natives other than the odd troll caravan or questing minotaur could be found passing through our towns and villages.
Then again—
As I stole a glance at the girl alternating between walking and skipping beside me, at the heavy sacks in her hands, and the large golden key protruding from her back, I couldn't help but think that even a dragon probably wasn't as rare as a princess and a clockwork doll passing through our streets together, either.
“Have you been searching for this missing book for long? I'm curious how much time you've spent wandering the kingdom.”
“Waaay too long. These shoes weren't made for walking. But books are hard to find. Especially the one I'm after. Alas, if only I had a different job. My sisters, they got jobs like cleaning bookcases. How wonderful is that? Books always get lost. But bookcases? If that's all I had to do, I'd be able to relax at the—”
“I understand!”
“Eh?”
A flush of excitement ran through me as I seized on the opportunity at once.
Ohhoho! Indeed, rejoice, fair clockwork maiden! No insinuation was lost on me!
As a princess trained in the art of reading cues and desires, I was adept at understanding the words between the lines as keenly as a conductor sensed the notes weaving amongst a grand sonata.
And my instincts were telling me ... that she wished to serve under me as my personal attendant!
“A-Ahem, if cleaning is something you wish to experience, I can offer you a position as attendant. You see, I happen to have left my previous residence without any. Therefore, you may be at ease, as from now, I will declare you to be my sole—”
“I refuse.”
“Geh?!”
My jaw dropped at the abruptness of her rejection.
Could … Could it be that I was wrong? Or perhaps I'd pressed her too suddenly? True, it was only natural to react with inappropriate modesty when presented with such an envied position as the personal attendant to a princess. There were rivalries to consider. New enemies to watch. Old allies to turn. To become my sole attendant was to make one's social debut in high society. Even a maid could be elevated to the lowest rungs of lower nobility by adopting such an exclusive role.
Hmm?
But wasn't I forgetting something?
Ah, but of course! She didn't know I was a princess!
“I refuse,” she repeated cheerfully. “Thank you for the offer. But I've no need for a mistress. My loyalty is to my library.”
A bizarre croak exited my mouth as a thousand responses amalgamated into one.
I … I couldn't tell her!
I was supposed to be incognito, not hiring new employees!
“Sooo, well-dressed, haughty girl who wants an attendant ... is it just 'Juliette'? Or is there a 'High Ladyship' or 'Her Revered Countess, Holy Destroyer of Unwanted Beetles' title somewhere in there as well?”
I winced.
Partly because my masterful disguise as a titleless 'Juliette' was clearly not enough to hide the fact I was simply far too dignified to pass as anything less than nobility. But also because she'd just butchered our entire peerage system in one single sentence.
“Those are not titles.”
“My cunning word trap worked. So, nobility?”
“Undisclosed.”
Coppelia raised an eyebrow.
“Royalty?”
“............”
Hmm?
What … What was that?
Was that … sweat? Why was I sweating? How long had I been riding for? When had sitting in a saddle been such a taxing activity on me?
“U-Undisclosed ...”
For a moment, Coppelia had the look of someone who wished to make an unnecessary comment. I was relieved when she didn't.
… She didn't suspect!
Really now. That was too close. And the fault lay entirely with me.
It was vexing, but the truth is that I didn't enjoy parading myself as anything less than a princess. To do away with my title was difficult enough. But to adopt another was quite another. I needed to find a compromise … eventually.
Eventually.
Meaning ... there was no rush!
I had no need to dive straight into the details of my subterfuge, did I? Once I picked an identity, I'd need to actively utilise it or risk being outed. I couldn't have that. A poor identity was more suspicious than having none. It'd undermine everything!
Therefore, the best thing to do was to disclose nothing. The less I spoke about my background, the less anyone would suspect I was a princess. If anyone asked me if I was Juliette Contzen, 3rd Princess to the Kingdom of Tirea, I could simply refuse to answer and they'd be none the wiser.
Ohohoho! Genius.
Why make things harder? Sometimes, less truly was more.
“To answer slightly more, I can't offer myself for any role other than that which I'm already sworn to do. My purpose is to search for unreturned books. That means I'm forbidden from washing the dishes of any ladies of high standing. Or putting on their socks. That one is specifically ruled out.”
I nodded, taking the loss of a potential handmaiden with good grace.
… Ohhhohoho!! Until next time, of course!
Fortunes waver and ambitions stir. When this girl wished to seek a rewarding new career path in the exciting world of courtly backstabbing, treachery and betrayal, I'd ensure that the door remained open.
“I see. A terrible shame. Nevertheless, I applaud your loyalty to your library. Indeed, by refusing my first offer, you passed the first test to becoming my personal attendant. Should you wish to continue this application, you may do so at any time.”
She connected her thumb and index finger into a circle and smiled lazily.
“O-kay~”
I contented myself with that somewhat lackadaisical response. It lacked the dirt eating grovelling that I usually received when overseeing prospective hires … but I was nothing if not mildly flexible!
When it came to receiving a promising new attendant who could carry my extensive wardrobe wherever I pleased, I was willing to bide my time.
In fact, if she could display such wonderful strength, would that not also make her an excellent candidate to be a bodyguard? If so, that'd make her a two-for-one attendant! I'd be the envy of the soirée!
“By any chance, does your prodigious ability to carry large weights hint towards how you defend yourself in this peaceful and harmonious land?”
“Hmm?” Coppelia looked down, then blinked at the sacks in her hands. “Oh, this? This is nothing.”
“I disagree! … Hence why I note that you carry no weapons on your person, and yet you're able to traverse the perilous wilds that exist between Ouzelia and Tirea. Tell me, would you happen to be proficient in overcoming physical confrontations?”
“My, my, my … what are you implying? I have my feminine wiles and girlish charms. What else do I need to travel the wide world?”
Coppelia flicked her fluffy golden hair and gave a smile as radiant as the sunshine.
I was appalled.
Who did this girl think she was? Me?
Clearly, she had to boast martial skill or magical ability. Not everyone possessed a princess's charisma. And for all the confidence in her smile, that also included her.
“Charm and wit is not enough to negotiate the dangers that pervade this world, unless you're me. Everyone else requires the knowledge of a scholar and the intuition of a rogue. To challenge, to compromise, or to flee based on coldly evaluating every morsel of insight available to you. This is the trifecta of choices one must continually master in order to overcome foes who wish to force victory through brute force alone.”
Coppelia nodded, interest sparkling in her turquoise eyes as she had the politeness to feign the correct amount of being intrigued. A valuable skill set. My tutors would be pleased.
“I see, I see … but what if your foe isn't someone who wants to talk or fight?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, what if it's say, a blight? How would you overcome that?”
“A blight?”
“A blight affecting crops and pastures, a faceless enemy with no notion of negotiation or belligerence. That'd be pretty tricky, wouldn't it? I just want to know where on the manual that is.”
I tilted my head slightly.
It was a concept I had to wrap my head around. To be frank, something which didn't try to sully my reputation or outright assassinate me wouldn't truly count as a foe.
At least not until I saw the first inklings of withering intruding upon the corner of my eye.
Apple came to a stop as I tugged back his reins.
Turning my gaze slowly, I took in the sight of the fields that lay ahead.
Appalling parched fields crept down from across the horizon. Beyond half-wilted lines of hedgerows and trees, a scene of death and decay promised to wait for me. The contrast to the green fields to my sides were stark.
Beyond a rotting demarcation as clear as lines in the sand, I saw a vision of the fine pastures fit for napping replaced by a barren stretch of broken livelihoods.
I couldn't believe it. Was this what was meant by failing crops?
This was beyond what I had imagined! We hadn't even entered the lowlands yet! Was this some disease in the soil? How far did it stretch? How much of our farmland was lost?
It was more morbid than anything I could have envisaged. I could literally see the trail of tax income from yield percentages to stall revenues collapsing in front of me! Each fallen stalk of wheat was another feather snatched from my pillow!
It was horrible!
Beside me, Coppelia was cheerfully humming an unknown melody.
Judging from the brightness of her tune, the state of the kingdom's collapsing grain reserves and the riots that were certain to follow ranked lower on her reasons to be concerned list than it did mine. It was not, after all, my fate that she shared. Even now, I could see a grim future where my family was forced to sell our gold framed portraits and ruby inlaid candlesticks just to appease the peasant masses.
The indignity almost knocked me off my saddle.
Awakening from my stupor, I clenched my fists and spurred Apple onwards.
It was time for Juliette Contzen, the Third Princess of the Kingdom of Tirea, to do her duty. No matter what, I would prevent a future where I was forced to degrade my quality of life. To live as though I were mere nobility.
Or worse, common-born nobility.
No blight would stand in my way.
This, I solemnly vowed.
​
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I got a interview about the making of a series recommended to me, not even 5 minutes in and BOOM a ww who was being interviewed causally and jokingly mention the abuse that a 14 yo 🖤 girl was put trough at the hands of a well known rapper.
This was a huge 🚩 and I decided it is time to have a conversation about the obvious attempt to desensitize abuse agains bw in society and how bw can stay aware. It is imperatieve we do not ignore these kind of things because it is dangerous for 2 main reasons.

1. This trend can desensitize bw to their OWN abuse which will make it more difficult for bw to detect (potential) harm and respond accordingly.

It is important to note that abuse does not always come in the obvious forms like physical abuse. Though these other forms of abuse i am about to discuss often build up to physical abuse.
🚩 emotional abuse. An example would be: making fun of an incident that seriously harmed a person ( like the example I mentioned in the beginning of this post)
What can you do? Voice that, that is not okay: you have the power to influence social norms. use your voice when able to do so safely, otherwise leave the space ( delete the app, unfollow etc.). Your absence will protect your mental health and it will get the point across just fine. At times cutting of acces to you entirely is the best way to combat abuse.
🚩 verbal abuse. Well bw have a lot of examples of those around... Calling someone names, cussing at someone but also screaming at someone counts as verbal abuse.
What can you do? unfollow, block and report content that attacks bw. This will help your mental and emotional well being. Cutting of acces to your mind and heart is an important factor.
🚩 Social abuse is another form of abuse. This is done as an attempt to damage a person’s ( in bw’s case a group) reputation in order to alianate them from connections to family, friends, work, or a larger community or society.
Think of the constant way bw are portraid as dislikable and mean. This influences the way bw are viewed and treated in larger society and deters the ability to create allies. Another example is bm constantly running their mouth online about bw in an attempt to justify their heinous behavior towards bw in large numbers. All this falls under social abuse.
these reoccurring negative narratives can brainwash bw and girls to doubt the integrity of their own characters and make them feel like they deserve bad treatment when they dont!
What can you do? create positive promotion of yourself as a bw and for girls. This will help you to remind yourself of who your TRULY are and to reject the lies and narratives that others create using our image. Again! reminds yourself of who you are and what you are TRULY worthy of! Reclaim the narrative over YOUR life and YOUR image!

1. The second reason why desensitization towards abuse against bw is extremely dangerous is because desensitization leads to normalization which leads to acceptance which then becomes a new norm. Abuse should NEVER be a norm!

As humans we create social norms and boundaries to help us co- exist as safety as possible. These social norms are supposed to inform people of what is socially acceptable behavior and what is definitely NOT. The people within said society need each other’s help to inforce and maintain these social norms to stay safe in a society. Abuse against bw and girl should fall under the NOT ACCEPTABLE category that every sane person who wants to live in a healthy society should help inforce. Just like any other norms and boundaries.
This is why you need to catch trends like these at the early stage which is desensitization!
Black woman listen to yourself. Ultimately your intuition will warn you. All you have to do is listen and move according.❤️

Cling! Clang! Cling! Clang! The warning bells tolled ceaselessly throughout the human city, screaming out the portent of doom in their tintinnabulation.
And yet, no one hue-and-cry could be heard. Not one speech was given. No announcements or calls to action were made; not to shelter, nor to rally, nor even to evacuate. What good would it do? Everyone already knew what had happened, and no one could find recourse from it. What safety was there from the very laws of the world, the foundations of all societies, changing without warning in the span of a single heartbeat?
In the blink of an eye, the system itself had gone out.
In the city’s heart, a young man clad in ivory burst through the war room doors. “Captain General!” he addressed with a salute.
A wizened knight regarded him as he arrived. “Sir William, good. I take it you’ve noticed?”
“It was hard not to,” Sir William replied. “I don’t suppose you know why the system isn’t working?”
“No,” the commander answered. “We’re going to have to work with our best guess. Right now, I’m concerned with how the other nations will react.”
“Other nations? The problem is that widespread?”
“We don’t have any way to confirm that, but if it isn’t then the Vulpes have managed a ritual magic on a scale I’ve never heard of. If you look at it from the others’ perspectives, however, the people with the most motive to disable the system…” the Captain General left off.
“… would be us,” William finished, earning a nod from his superior.
The system had given certain bonuses to the abilities of the various sentients that lived within it. Faster growth in certain stats, racial skills, unique magics. Every group had been given certain advantages.
While this was true of the Humans as well, it was far less so than the others. Better stamina improvement through cardio, and a modest bonus to projectile accuracy were all they had been granted. Everything they had was a struggle, biting, clawing, and scraping to carve a place for themselves in this world.
If that playing field had been leveled, that would make them the primary suspects as far as the other races were concerned.
“We had nothing to do with it though, right?” the young man asked.
“Of course not!” the Captain-General scolded. He curled his lip and twirled his grayed moustache. “The system is a divine construct beyond human understanding. No, this was someone else. As I said, we’re going with our best guess.”
“What’s that, sir?”
“The best ritualists are the Vulpus,” he said, raising a finger. “They’re possibility one. If this is targeted at us, that leaves no other suspects. I doubt that’s the case, though. Their ire has been aimed at the Wolven for the last twenty years, and the fact that our commands aren’t working at all leads me to believe this is far worse than a jamming ritual.
The second possibility,” he explained as he raised another finger, “is the demons. I’m not sure how they’d manage it, but the system really has been destroyed, there is no other race with a penchant and a knack for destruction on such a level that it could damage the system itself. Of course, I doubt any mindless brute would be able to do such a thing. ”
William swallowed hard, fighting the urge to bring his hand to his shield to combat his unease. “So, the nobility?”
“Not the ordinary nobility, no. The only ones that could pull this off are demon gods,” the Captain-General answered. “A lesser god might have the power to destroy the system if that god had an affinity for destruction. There are two types of monsters born from destruction, the dragons and the demons.
"The Dragons deny there being lesser gods among their number. As such, I believe we are looking at the work of the Three Devils: The Marquis of Cruelty, the Baron of Fire, and the Marquis of Fate.”
William placed his hand on his chin in contemplation. “Couldn’t the problem be temporary, sir? If not, then you might be on the right track. The Devils might be able to pull this off. The Marquis of Fate is the most likely of the three, but I don’t know. I don’t see the motive for Laplace, and I’m not sure I agree that De Sade or Richthofen have the power to do it.”
The young man grimaced, looking up at the commander. “I think we need to consider the worst-case scenario, sir: not a lesser god, a true divinity.”
“Be very careful with your words, paladin, lest you fall,” the old knight warned. “Regardless, if that is the case then either the greater gods want the system gone, in which case the system is at its end, or the gods have gone to war, in which case the world is in trouble.”
“A grim thought,” William agreed. “What are your orders, sir?”
“For now, we must scramble to get our defenses back up, in case this is the first stage of an attack. You let me worry about that. I want you to find the underlying cause of this, hero. Track the demons’ latest movements. Even if this wasn’t their doing, there might be a clue to find there.”
“Is there no other way, mother?” a young woman asked.
This was a hasty decision. Too hasty, perhaps, but the situation demanded urgency. If they dawdled, the entire city-state of Mirage could be blown to dust, quite literally.
A legendary illusion magic, affecting every sense and turning any stranger away, kept the city safe, or it was supposed to. They said the magic was a ritual devised by their peoples’ god of trickery, who fooled the great god of order into giving his people the control of it. If so, then that trickster was no longer there to answer questions.
Some said he was dead, slain in a conflict with another deity, perhaps that very same god of order. Most, however, believed that was a deception, and that he had faked his death long ago, as the master of illusions he was.
To ask the Vulpes, while their patron may have taken inspiration from the fae, only he could have come up with fueling such an illusion directly from a leyline. Monitoring and maintaining it was a simple matter for the fox therianthropes, the foremost experts of ritual magic.
Or, at least, it was.
“We’ve lost the system, Cadmea” the voice of the head of the ritualists’ clan reminded her daughter through. “We no longer have an interface to check the mana flow. Every moment we linger, we run the risk of losing control of it. We live over a wind leyline, and wind magic, above all other kinds, likes to move freely.”
Cadmea swallowed hard. Any moment could lead to an irreversible cascade failure that could raze their nation. Even in the best-case scenario, their land’s only strategic defense would be stripped from them; Mirage didn’t even have walls, for pity’s sake.
Time was of the essence, she knew that, but by its very nature there was no predicting how this ritual would turn out.
The ritual itself was crude, to say the least. The runic arrays were slapdash, made by dragging her tails through the sand in an exceptionally rough “circle” that she could barely make out in dusk’s light. The incantation was unusually short and sounded like an elder asking a favor using outdated slang while baby talking. For crying out loud, the ritual’s focus was a “sandwich” that didn’t even fit the definition of one!
And of course, the intended result itself was unpredictable, and had potential to be far more disastrous than the swift ablative end the leyline would bring.
It was a wild guess, but they had to take it.
“Okay,” Cadmea said. With that, she tossed “sandwich” onto the mound of sand off-center of the array with a splat. For a moment the young ritualist felt she wouldn’t mind a swift death by leyline rupture; it would be better than dying of embarrassment. She spoke the words.
“Yo, Tetra, god ob magic, pwease put yo ears on” she loudly announced. Her cheeks flushed. “It would be gwoovy if could ya pwease do us a sowid and hewp us out, ya dig, home swice?”
“Wow, you actually said all that?” a voice rang out over the dunes.
Cadmea looked around and saw nothing. Something was wrong. No, if by some miracle this ritual had actually worked, then…
She brought her hand up to her ear. “Mother, I think it worked. What do I say?” No response came through the enchanted earpiece.
“Ah ah ah!” the voice laughed. “No speaking to mommy dearest now. You thought yourself significant enough to summon me, so you can speak for yourself. I’ve gone ahead and jammed that little trinket of yours for now. Understand, mortal?”
The vixen nodded, sweat dripping down her brow. “Y-yes. I thank you for allowing me to summon you.”
“Oh, you didn’t summon me, I was already in the neighborhood checking something… interesting. Ooh, speaking of interesting, thanks for the offering.” A hand reached out and grabbed the Frankenfood monstrosity from above the podium. Cadmea looked up around to a short, strange woman floating in midair.
She looked strange, like a cross between a human and a wingless pixie. She was short; 86, 87 centimeters. Her hair shimmered with every color of the rainbow and more; her eye colors shifted unpredictably from moment to moment.
She wore a multicolor robe and carried an ornate staff on her back. It was tipped with a glowing violet crystal, and on its base rested a blade. Cadmea could just make out the handle of a wand on her hip.
The way she materialized was sudden, like she’d been there all along, but the vulpine woman hadn’t been able to recognize it.
“What… are you?” Cadmea asked, only for the entity to give her a crooked grin.
“Oh, I’m a lot of things. The Force of Chaos, Tetra the Fourth, the Goddess of Magic, a rule breaker, a 3D projection, an eldritch abomination, part of a web novel, a reality warper, on and on and on. If you mean my appearance, I’m an elf, but not a high elf. This is what my original form looked like,” she answered. She took a large bite out of the slope in her hand.
“Mm, that’s good for mortal fare! Jackfruit, cave-aged cheese, cucumbers, peppermint, and tomato sauce!” she observed, then took a bite of the handful of slop. Cadmea fought to restrain her turning stomach. “So,” Tetra asked with her mouth full, “what exactly do you think you deserve my help with?”
Cadmea took a deep breath to settle her nerves. Despite the chills running down her spine like a parade of spiders, she had to stay calm. There was no predicting this… woman anyway, so she may as well get straight to the point. Waffling about just wasted time and increased the chances for things to go awry.
“We need your help controlling the leyline tap we use to fuel our city’s grand illusion spell. If you could-“
Tetra shoved a messy finger in her face. “I’m going to cut you off right there and say ‘no,’” she said. “I’m sure that stick-in-the-mud Tri’s got you thinking magic is something to be harnessed and follows your little rules and regulations, but again: no. Magic doesn’t follow the rules, it breaks them! Otherwise, it’s just boring old natural law! Physics and math! Yuck!”
The elf’s smile grew unnaturally wide, ear to ear. Suddenly, a teal flash lit up the sky. Cadmea wheeled around to see a colossal pillar of light shooting up out of the sands and into the sky, growing wider and wider at the speed of sound, ripping the land apart. “NOOO!” she screamed as she helplessly watched the magic engulf the city. She fell to her knees. She was too late.
There was no surviving that, no matter how high your level was. There was no barrier they could create. How could there be? This was a leyline, a flow of magic so powerful that it took. And they’d been trying to harness it?
“Well, look at that! Such is the hubris of mortals,” Tetra said as the magic raced to meet them. “Magic is chaos! Imagination given force and form! It wants to be as free as the wind!”
Cadmea squeezed her eyes shut and braced for the end…
… but the end didn’t come.
“I think I’ve made my point,” Tetra declared.
Cadmea slowly opened her eyes. There in the distance stood Mirage, like nothing had happened. “W-what?” she asked, hyperventilating from fear.
“What, did you think there was only one way to use an illusion like yours? Oh, but don’t think that wasn’t real, think of it as a preview. So, now you know I have all the leverage in this little negotiation you want from me. So, what do you think you can offer someone like me?”
“I-I don’t-“
“Of course, you don’t. You’re one person living in one city in one reality out of an infinite number I could hop to, and an infinite number of them could use my help more than you. This is a nexus world, sure, but that doesn’t mean you yourselves are important,” she says. “Normally the answer is ‘absolutely nothing,’ and I don’t answer your little plea in the first place.”
“So… why did you?”
“Ah, that’s the right question!” Tetra replied. “Like I said, I was checking something interesting. Two somethings. So, what is your name?”
“C-Cadmea.”
“Well, Cadmea, I’ll make you a deal.” Her tone became ice cold. “I’m not going put any kind of monitor on your little magic power source, or automatically regulate it for you. I could, but I won’t.
“I will, however, give you, specifically, the ability to sense its flow from any distance so you can know how wide your figurative valves should be from day to day. In exchange, I’m going to have you do a series of tasks for me.”
The elf reached into her pocket and pulled out two polished orbs, one slate grey and the other jade green. “I want you to bring these to the fairy kingdom. Ask for the nightshade twins and deliver these to them, it should be clear who gets which. Wait there for further instructions.”
Cadmea nodded, still shaken. “Okay, I accept,” she said. “But how will I tell my people how to adjust the magic?”
Tetra sighed impatiently. “Give me your earpiece,” she said. Cadmea did as instructed, handing it to the short woman, who pulled the wand out of her robe and tapped it to the implement before handing it back. “There. Unless you bumble into an absolute antimagic field, that should let this communicate with your mother’s copy anywhere in this multiversal supercluster.”
“Multi-what?” Cadmea asked.
“Everywhere, it works everywhere you’ll ever go. Ask the grey twin if you want a detailed explanation,” the goddess said. Her eyes rolled in her sockets, then kept rolling until they fell out. She caught them in her hand and put them back in, magically none the worse for wear. “You can say your goodbyes through your earpiece. You depart in… now.”
A noise came from beneath Cadmea, who looked down and saw a magic portal open beneath her feet. She only had time to yelp before she fell through. She landed in a heap in a rose bush on the other side. “Ow,” she whined, looking back up through the portal at Tetra, who gave one comment before closing it.
“Oh, and welcome to Albion.”
King Finvarra watched as Rocket and the two fairies flew off into the forest. “My king?” a salmon-pink haired fairy asked as he flew up from below. “We’ve moved the wounded to the ground for treatment.”
He nodded. “Tell me, Vera: was the evacuation a success?”
“You mean to ask if we missed the two newblooms, your highness?” Vera asked. “I don’t think so. The gray one, Liandan, said they appeared from their flowers twenty minutes ago. That was after the evacuation was complete. They must have bloomed during the fire itself. Perhaps their mother flowers sought to save them?”
“Indeed,” Finvarra agreed. “And did anyone call me by true name after they arrived?”
“They are small and came in quietly, but I don’t think so.”
“So then,” the Fairy King questioned, “how did they know it?”
“That’s… a very good question, your highness,” Vera admitted.
”What a strange pair,” Finvarra thought. It was rare for a flowering plant to create a fairy in its lifetime. Rarer still would one give rise to siblings. Twins? It was practically unheard of.
Furthermore, understanding English, the common tongue created by the angels, was nothing unusual for a newbloom. Speaking it was an entirely different matter. It took months for a fairy to learn how to make the proper sounds, and yet Liandan was speaking it with total fluency.
And then there were their colors. Belladonna’s name pointed to her mother flower easily enough, and like all True Fairies her colors matched. Her twin, though, was born an ashen gray. Given when she appeared, he could only think of one cause.
“Like a phoenix, born from the ashes,” he mused. He’d suggest that for her false name later.
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FIRST / PREVIOUS

Subject: Commander Jack Garnet
Vessel: RMV Cambyses
Date: 13th June 3544 (Earth date)

I woke up to an artificial voice speaking to me:
"Commander, you've got an urgent video conference with the Hamilcar" - said Isaac.
A video conference? What could Captain Petrov want so urgently?
“Accept it, Isaac”
When the video feed was activated, I heard a robotic voice:
"This is a confidential meeting, class 3A. No information obtained via this meeting shall ever be shared with anyone except given direct authorisation. Do you understand?"
"Yes, I do"
"Connecting video feed"
When I got connected I couldn't believe my eyes. Praetorians were in the Hamilcar. What were they doing there? Then a man came into my field of view. he was dressed in formal navy uniform, with four stars on each one of his shoulder boards. That's why the Praetorians were here, they were escorting an admiral, a four star one, nonetheless.
"Commander Garnet, my name is Admiral Reynard. I have urgent orders for you"
"Yes sir, I'm listening"
"Right about now a shuttle should be docking with the Cambyses. That shuttle is filled with a unit of 12 Praetorian soldiers. They will escort you to one of the two alien ships, UV-2 or UV-3, where you will serve as a formal link between me and whatever autority they have aboard those ships. We want to see if we can reach an agreement over this, let's say, misunderstanding. The Praetorians will be there to protect you in case anything bad were to happen. Is everything clear? Do you have any questions?"
"Yes sir, almost everything is clear but I have one question"
"What is it?"
"Why Praetorians, sir? Why not send a squad of Phalanx soldiers, or just regular troopers?"
"Because Praetorians do what I say, when I say it. They don't question my orders and carry them out to perfection. They are also the most elite combat unit in the whole galaxy, as far as we know. They're the perfect choice for your protection, and that's all you have to know"
"Yes sir, understood"
"Great. You will receive further instructions in the future"
"Thank you, sir" - I then saluted him as the conference terminated.
Whoa. Praetorians? I can’t believe that I’m going to be interacting with them!
"Commander, the Praetorian shuttle is on final approach. You might want to look out the window, it’s an amazing ship" - said Isaac.
When I got to the window, the sun was shining on the ship, which had an angular look to it, more than normal. It must be true then what they say about those cloaking capabilities they have, that they can turn invisible to sensors and to the naked eye. I decided to go to the docking bay to receive them, now that I had seen their ship. Hell, I could look at it more in detail in the bay.
As I made my way down, I wondered where would the Praetorians sleep. At that moment I remembered the VIP quarters just outside the officer’s:
“Isaac, send word to maintenance to ready VIP quarters 1 and 2. The Praetorians will be staying there”
“Right away, Commander”
As I got to docking bay 1, I saw my first officer already waiting for me at the door:
"Is it true, sir? Are Praetorians coming on board?"
"Yes, it is. Who told you though?"
"No one, sir. I just ran to the nearest window, as everyone else did. Then we recognised the shuttle from the Earth Day broadcasts as a Praetorian one"
"Well, we better get in there now, as they must've already landed"
"Yes, sir"
Then, he opened the door to reveal the back of the ship, where a ramp was lowering. Once it touched the ground, two very tall Praetorians got out of the ship and walked towards us:
"I'm Master Sargent 'Shocker'. I need for you to show me to my unit's quarters. Once there, I will speak to you privately about the mission, as none of it shall be discussed in front of unauthorised personnel" - he said, as he looked at my first officer.
"Sure, I will show you personally to your quarters. Follow me"
Then I started walking, and heard the rest of the unit come out of the shuttle. When I turned around, I noticed how intimidating the Praetorians really were. They were at least 2.2 meters tall, and judging by the sound their footsteps made on the ground, they packed a punch. The capes they were wearing gave them an even more intimidating look, as if they were some sort of magical beings. Their suits also looked out of this world. One of these suits costs more than my ship, 10 times over. And their weapons, too. I heard these were prototype PR-13s, a gun specially designed for Praetorian soldiers. Rumors said the gun linked to their mind via special implants, and this plus the suit, which was also linked made the gun literally an extension of their arm. Not that they needed the guns, though. The Praetorians were trained in all known ways of hand-to-hand combat, which made them deadly even outside the suit.
I kept walking through the ship and I looked back to see how they were doing, and they were marching in perfect formation, all in sync, looking forward. I couldn't help but notice all of the crew that were on the same corridor immediately make way for them, hugging the walls.
At once we reached the VIP quarters on the front of the ship:
"This is where you'll be staying, Master Sgt. 'Shocker'. What is your name, anyway?"
"My name and rank are confidential, sir. I shall only be adressed by my codename"
"Alright. Let’s go in and discuss those mission details you wanted to talk about"
Then he and the rest of the unit went into the room, which I entered last, closing the door behind me.
"Commander, you have been chosen as the provisional ambassador for the Second Human Republic. My unit has been selected to protect you at all cost, were the mission to fail. You have been given limited command capability over my unit. We still respond to the admiralty, but in case of emergency we can also take order from you. Do you understand?"
"Yes. If you don't need anything else from me, I will go back to the bridge"
"Sir, there's two more things we have to talk about" - 'Shocker' said, as he took out some things from his pocket - "This is a transmitter. You have to have it on you at all times, for us to be able to locate you. This other thing is a special communications device, that lets you talk to us wherever you are, no remote link needed. Also have it on you at all times"
"Is that all?"
"Yes, sir"
"Great, thanks. Now I must leave for the bridge"
As I saluted them, the 12 Praetorians got up and saluted me. When I went for the door I heard footsteps behind me, so I turned around to see what was happening. Two soldiers were headed for the door as well:
"Sir, we have orders to escort you wherever you go, just for safety"
"Okay, come if you have to"
So I turned and left, with the heavy footsteps behind me. When I arrived to the bridge everyone was shocked to see my newly acquired escorts:
"Commander, incoming video conference from the Hamilcar" - said Isaac
"Accept it"
"Connecting live feed now"
My HUD lit up with the image of Admiral Reynard:
"Commander, I see that you have got the new escorts. I hope everything went smoothly with the Praetorians. I have mission details I'd like to share with you. The Cambyses and the Faramond are to approach UV-2 and UV-3's positions in 2 hours. The Hamilcar will be ready to fire on them if any hostile actions were to take place, and two more Apex-class battlecruisers are on standby on the Gunides system, just in case. Before you jump to the alien ships, your ship-board AI will broadcast a message stating your peaceful intentions. From there on you will have to agree with the aliens on which ship to board to engage in peace talks. Your escorts will be with you all the time and you will report only to me via the communicator they gave you. Is that clear?"
"Yes sir"
"You will recieve a full briefing by the Agency soldiers aboard your ship on what to say and what not to say. Any questions?"
"No, sir"
"Great. I'll contact you again before you get on the shuttle to give you a final briefing"
"Understood, sir. Garnet out" - I said, as the conference terminated.
Shit! I was going to board the enemy ship? That's why they brought Praetorians, so any attempt against me would have no effect at all. I bet my two escorts could get rid of an entire ship’s crew by themselves, if needed.
“Isaac, get everything in the ship checked and ready for when we have to go visit those aliens. Also, alert the Faramond of their duty to come with us and send out probes to the Euclidean travel lanes’ exits to give us an early warning if more alien ships are to come”
“Yes, Commander”
And then I headed for the Agency’s part of the ship. It was located near the bridge, so I didn’t have to walk for long. The Praetorians where behind me, so I decided to ask them their names:
“Praetorians, what are your names? If you’re going to be escorting me I want to know how to address you”
“Sir, I’m ‘Mamba’, and this is ‘Duster’”
“What are your names?”
“Sir, our real names and ranks are classified along with any other relevant information about the program”
“Are you allowed to tell me your age, or that is also classified?”
“Our exact age is classified too, but I can tell you that we’re above 25 years of real age”
“What do you mean ‘real age’?”
“Our physical age is 25 years old, and we stay like that for many years. Our real age is the time since our birth, not the age our body displays”
“Oh. Well, If you want to know anything about me just ask”
“We’ve read your file, sir. We know almost everything about you”
“Well, if curiosity gets the better of you, you can ask anything”
“Alright, sir”
By that moment we had reached the Agency’s part of the ship, so I pressed the button beside the door to come in. The door then opened to reveal an armed soldier wearing full black armor. When he saw me, he saluted and made the gesture for me to go in. When I did, my escorts followed me, leaving the Agency soldier astounded. He saluted them as well and closed the door. I followed the corridor until I got to a desk:
“Good morning, Commander. Your briefing is in meeting room 2. Follow the corridor and turn left to get there”
“Alright, thanks”
Then I went left and turned the corner. When I got to the meeting room there was a soldier waiting outside for me:
“Sir, your escorts can’t come into the room” - said the soldier
“You heard him. Stand guard here”
“Yes, sir” - answered the Praetorians.
The soldier then opened the door for me, which I walked through. Sat inside was an officer dressed in black:
“Good morning, Commander. I’m Sgt. Chau, and I’m here to brief you on first contact protocols. Take a seat, please”
I sat down, and he opened a folder in front of him:
“Alright, first thing is you will follow the OpSec protocol as you would with a civilian. But you will have to take care not to reveal anything related to Earth or the Republic’s history. From now on, the words ‘Earth’ and ‘Sol’ are to be removed from your vocabulary. Your main objective is to de-escalate the situation and to avoid any immediate response from their part. We also have a device for you that we took from one of the captured officers aboard UV-1. We believe it’s a universal translator, and the engineering teams aboard the Hamilcar have tweaked it to adapt the English it has to a more modern version. Any questions for now?”
“No, everything is clear”
“Great. Your secondary objective is to try to get the aliens to have a higher power of their ‘Federation’ communicate with us to make this a more formal matter. You will maintain radio silence for the duration of your mission in order to maintain our radio frequency’s as hidden as possible. The only contact you will have will be with your escorts. You will report everything back to us once you’re back on the Cambyses, and then write a full report for the Admiralty”. Any questions?”
“No, everything remains clear”
“Ok. You will also carry a microfiber camera, implanted directly into your cornea to film the entire mission. Once we’re done here you will go to the infirmary to get it implanted. We also believe it’s in your best interest to wear some under-uniform protective equipment, which you’ll find on the armory”
“Is that all?”
“Yes. Any questions?”
“No”
“Great. Head to the infirmary and then the armory to get ready”
Then we got up, saluted each other and he accompanied me to the door. He handed me another dossier:
“This is what our medical staff aboard the Hamilcar has learned about the aliens aboard UV-1. Take a look at it so you know how they look like and you don’t get shocked to see them”
“Okay, I will. Thanks for everything, Sargent”
Then I walked out of the room and headed for the infirmary. The trip was quick, and when I got there a nurse was waiting for me:
“Commander, right this way”
I followed her to a small room and she gestured me towards a padded chair, on which I sat down. Then, a doctor who was holding a metallic device came into the room:
“Hello Commander. This device will implant the microfiber camera into your cornea. Do you have any preference on which eye you want it?”
“My right eye is my dominant, so put it on my left one”
“Okay”
Then he put the device over my face and a whirring noise started to sound. I felt a needle go into my neck, and I assumed it was some anesthesia. Then, a light shone in my left eye and I felt a small pinch inside of it. When the whirring stopped, the doctor removed the device from my face and said:
“We’re all done! Now drink this” - he handed me a cup full of a light blue liquid - “It will break up the anesthesia in your body and you’ll feel completely normal in about 15 minutes”
“Okay. How does this camera work?”
“Blink three times for it to start recording, blink three times again for it to stop”
“Okay”
After that, I tried to get up from the chair, only to be met with the effects of the anesthesia:
“Wow! You have to stay here at least 20 minutes, for the anesthesia to go away” - said the nurse.
Then she left the room, so I took out the folder abvout the physiology of the aliens to take a look at it.
After a while, the nurse came back in and told me I was good to go. I left the room hastily and headed for the armory, which was close. I looked at my watch to see I had half an hour until I had to get the ship moving. Then, I arrived at the armory and a soldier that was waiting for me handed me a vest:
“Sir, this is a under-uniform bulletproof vest. It will stop any small caliber kinetic round as well as any plasma rounds”
When he finished speaking I said thanks and left for my quarters. One I got there I grabbed my formal tie and swapped the everyday jacket for the formal one. I got dressed and when I was ready, I headed for the bridge. While I was on my way I told Isaac to broadcast our peaceful intentions in all frequencies for the aliens to hear, and to also start charging the Halcyon drive and link it with the Faramond’s. When I got to the bridge, I saw everyone was neck-deep into getting us ready for jumping:
“Commander, the Halcyon drive is charged and we’re ready for jump” - said Isaac - “estimated travel time is 2 minutes, and we’ll be traveling at an estimated speed of 252c”
“Jump when ready”
Then, I saw the blinding white flash that meant we had jumped. I turned toward my escorts and told them:
“‘Mamba’, inform the rest of the unit to head towards docking bay 1, ready the shuttle and wait for us”
“Yes, sir”
Before I turned around, I felt the ship getting out of warp. I turned to face the windows and for the first time saw the alien ships. They were a combination of angular and circular, smooth shapes. Like UV-1, they had clearly defined engine sections and a prominent bridge.
“Commander, incoming video conference from the Hamilcar”
“Accept it”
My HUD lit up with the image of Admiral Reynard:
“Commander Garnet, I hope you are ready. We definitely are and our backup on Gunides station is too. Good luck”
“Thank you, sir” - I said as the conference ended.
“Commander, we’ve received a message from UV-2 indicating that you’re to dock with them, and they will host the diplomatic talks” - said Isaac.
“Okay. Keep broadcasting the signal until I come back. Do not lower shields and keep weapons ready, but not powered up, in case we need to use them”
Then I turned around and headed for docking bay 1. Once I got there, I got into the shuttle and felt it take off and accelerate towards UV-2. The entire ride was silent, until ‘Shocker’ said:
“Sir, get ready. We’ll be docking in 30 seconds. The rest of you, you know what do”
Then, precisely 30 seconds later, I heard a thump that indicated we had docked. I got up, straightened my uniform and walked up to the door. I heard my Praetorians load their weapons and check their systems. Once I was ready I blinked three times, pressed the button and the doors to a new chapter in human history opened before my eyes.

Author’s note: Wow! This was a long chapter, a lot longer than I anticipated. It got dragged on partly because of dialogue but mainly because I didn’t want my third chapter to be a filler one.
I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for reading!
:)

I live the best part of my life online. It’s a sign of the times we live in, I guess. There are the mundane humdrum happenings that occur in our lives offline- the boring day to day droll occurrences that one can usually set their watch to, and then there’s the amazing things that we are lucky enough to witness via the screen usually glued to our hands. There’s no comparison, really. Content curated by professionals who are successful enough to have millions of followers watching every video and upvoting every hilarious meme, versus boring work and the strained relationship with our folks and loved ones? YouTube and social media wins that one in a landslide victory, in my opinion. Candy, or vegetables?
My job painting apartments is menial, lots of repetition. The only real variation is that every other apartment is mirrored opposite the ones next to it. Kitchen on the right, bathroom on the left in this one. Bathroom on the right, kitchen on the left in that one. Over and over again, ad infinitum. I dip the roller in paint, and apply it to a section of wall, dip the roller, apply it to another section of wall, over and over and over again until it’s quitting time. If I finish an apartment before it’s time to get off, there are plenty of others to move on to. Every… single… day. Six days a week.
Repetition is half of the formula to insanity, I say. One of, if not the ONLY thing that helps in keeping me sane is a decent signal on my phone and a single bluetooth earbud. Having some sort of dialog- whether that be listening to an entertaining YouTuber doing a let’s play, to channels that narrate Creepypastas- I find helps in the passage of time while working. It helps my mind wander while my body goes on autopilot, thus finding an hour long story by one of my favorite channels that I haven’t heard yet is like a gift from the content gods.
One of the longest work days I can remember was the day that my earbud fell out and landed directly in my paint bucket. I cursed the universe as I watched it sink. It happened early in the day too, so I was forced to weather the remaining six hours with nothing but my own thoughts and the sound of my paint roller smearing on the walls. I had lost the other earbud somewhere months ago, so it’s not like I had a spare one charging somewhere, and by the end of the day I resolved it by buying two brand new pairs so if something like that ever happened again, I’d have no less than three backups.
I decided to treat myself, buying a cutting edge and top of the line brand. When one uses a product for most of the day, every day, it helps to buy quality, because it’s not just at work that I use them. When I’m driving, washing dishes at home or doing household chores, or just grinding out levels on a video game, there’s always some audio going on in my ear. Listening to podcasts while I’m folding laundry, reviews for new games and movies while I’m walking the dog, ten interesting facts about *insert topic here* while I’m eating dinner. It just helps me get through my day. And my nights too, falling asleep listening to spooky stories has gotten to the point where if I forget to charge my phone or earbuds and one of them dies before I fall asleep, I might as well get back up for a bit while the battery charges.
It may sound weird to some people, trying to follow a narrative while also trying to fall asleep seems like it would be counterintuitive, but just like how some people need a fan or a TV going, there are thousands of us falling asleep to a soothing voice telling a macabre tale every night. Probably millions, given how the technology has evolved in prior years.
When I received an email saying I’d won a chance to test out the next step of that evolution, I ignored it. I hadn’t signed up for any contest or sweepstakes that I was aware of. Probably just spam, I thought. When the physical letter showed up in my mail stating the same, I took it a little more seriously, but eventually chalked it up to the spammers just being persistent. More junk mail. They got my email and were able to find an address that matched it, probably not that hard to do considering how many sites I’ve used that email to sign up for over the years. I was well aware that people leave a digital footprint, along with a treasure trove of data for advertisers and scammers alike. I always just chalked it up to the price of admission as I dropped the letter in my trash bin without even opening it. After a few weeks, all of my brushing off and ignoring what I thought was a scam culminated with a knock at my door.
“Why hello, sir. We represent ToxiCorp, and we understand that you recently purchased our product- two pairs of our Premium Earbuds?” the gentlemen asked. He was an older fellow, wearing thick coke bottle glasses and sandals. Before I could even answer though, he went on. “We’ve attempted to contact you via mail in regards to your most wisest of purchases. First off, we at the Toxi Corporation would like to sincerely thank you! And also congratulate you! You’ve won our annual November-a-thon giveaway!” he finished, taking an overdue and long breath.
That was how I found out that it wasn’t just spam. They had gotten my information when I had registered the product for the warranty, and unbeknownst to me, had thrown my name in the hat for their contest. The prizes I had to choose from included $500 cash, or free ToxiCorp earbuds for life, which included a free upgrade every time they put out a new product. While the cash offer was tempting, I decided that the latter offer would get me more bang for my buck. High end earbuds, like those made by ToxiCorp, weren’t cheap afterall. Plus, being able to upgrade and try out the latest models for free made it, in my eyes, the better of the two options.
I agreed, and after signing a plethora of documentation, not all of which I could understand and much less even read, he was on his way. Later that week they contacted me via phone about my first upgrade. It turns out, while the two pairs I had recently bought were the most expensive that my local retailer had to offer, they were by far not the most expensive and functional ones that the company offered. That first upgrade was like night and day compared to the so-called ‘top of the line’ ones I had purchased. The sound was crisper, they had better bass, a longer battery life, a further range for the bluetooth, everything about them was superior.
Then, still very much pleased with my upgraded earbuds, they contacted me about their newest pair. This pair upgraded everything, along with having noise canceling and the ability to make phone calls via a small mic inside of the earbud.
And it kept going, every month there was a new upgraded version that blew the latest one out of the water with better clarity and added functionality. My daily distractions of listening to content at work was never better. Gone were the days of bringing my phone with me from room to room as I painted, the bluetooth had crystal clear connectivity anywhere in the apartment. Hell, I could leave my phone charging in my car outside and the signal would pick up through spans of parking lots and brick walls. The snug form fitting cushion in my ear ensured that they never fell out on accident, yet wasn’t intrusive. I could go on and on, singing praise for the innovation and quality that the good people at ToxiCorp were doing with their wide line of audio products. Until that is, they hit me with their latest upgrade.
I should have known something was off when they asked me to come to their R&D department for this latest upgrade. All I was told was that this newest iteration was still in the ‘experimental’ stage of development. Previously, they had always simply mailed the newest model straight to me. I simply chalked up this break in protocol to the fact that this one was still in the prototype stage. I had already decided that whatever it was, I wanted it. I was even excited that they decided to include me in testing whatever it was that they had cooked up. Boy, was I stupid.
I arrived at their facility and was greeted by their team of engineers. They led me to a small lobby and gave me refreshments while I waited, and that was the last thing I remembered. When I woke up, I was in a recovery room with bright fluorescent lights blinding me, and a litany of rhythmically beeping medical machines monitoring my vitals. I felt groggy as hell, and as I reached up to feel why the side of my head was throbbing I felt swollen flesh molding around stitches above and behind my right ear. They said that the nausea accompanied by the dizziness I felt was normal, and conducive to the operation they performed in and around my inner ear.
I was PISSED. When my complaints and threats finally summoned the head researcher, the very same old man who had come to my door to tell me I was a ‘winner’ walked into the room.
“What the hell!? How did I get here, and what the fuck is all this about some ‘procedure’!?” I yelled. “Did you people drug me? What kind of sick operation are you people running here?”
The old man merely smiled. “Nothing that you didn’t agree to. You gave us express permission when you signed our agreement.”
“Like hell I did!” I yelled. He produced a small remote and pointed it at me, pressing a button as I continued to yell. “¡Déjame salir de aquí y llamo a mi abogado!” I threatened. What the hell? I had yelled that in english, I clearly said “Let me out of here and I’m calling my lawyer,” and I had heard the english version in my other ear, but in my right ear, the ear that was throbbing and had been operated on, I heard what I assumed was spanish.
The scientist seemed pleased at the utter confusion that sank into my facial features. “Do you speak spanish?” he asked, grinning from ear to ear. He had really said “Habla espanol?”, I heard it with my untainted ear, but I also heard the english translation clear as day with the other.
I’ll admit, even though I was still utterly pissed about the situation, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little amazed.
“What… what else can it do?” I asked, my anger subsiding slightly.
His grin grew even wider. He came closer to show me the remote. It was something akin to an old iPod looking thing. He scrolled through a plethora of menus until he selected one labeled ‘Enhance Audio’. He then pointed it in the direction of two nurses conversing behind the other side of a large glass viewing window on the other side of the room. As soon as the remote was pointing in their direction, I could hear them.
“I can’t believe that prick stood you up like that, girl!” one said.
“He’s a loser anyway, I heard from Jenny that he isn’t even all that well endowed, if you know what I mean…” the other said, holding up her pinky finger which sent both of them into a giggling fit.
“Can you hear them? How clear is the audio?” the old man asked, pulling out a clipboard and pen seemingly from nowhere.
We ran a gauntlet of tests, trying out different features and modes, dialing in and fine tuning the settings. By the time we were finished, I wasn’t even all that mad anymore. I mean, I was still a little peeved. I had been tricked and drugged and operated on without my consent, I don’t care what the gibberish in my contract said, I felt violated. BUT… after all was said and done, I couldn’t help but feel like the benefits that the new implanted device offered were more than worth some shady and underhanded practices. I was kept in their facility for a couple of days for observation and more tests, compensated for my lost wages at my job, and given a prescription to fill- something to help with the pain while my body healed. They claimed it was ‘an astounding success!’, leaving me to wonder what would have happened if they had failed?
I went about my life, checking in with them via phone once a week, which I could now call and answer by merely thinking about it, thanks to their device. I could understand hundreds of spoken languages, I could hear conversations happening through brick walls with crystal clarity, and if it ever got too much I could always just lower the settings, even mute certain frequencies. Despite their underhanded techniques and the violation of my own body, my rage in them had subsided and became some more like a perturbed annoyance. They had drugged and operated me without my knowing consent, sure, but I was beginning to come around. Hell, I would have even said I came out like a thief, definitely better off than I had been.
Then, I began having the dreams.
My dreams since they had installed this thing in my head have been so vivid. Dreams that seem so real, almost like I was awake, but not in control. Like watching yourself sleepwalk. I have vague memories and impressions when I wake up, remnants of whatever cycles my subconscious mind rolls through when I’m out. In one, I only remember being told by some authority figure that I needed to go out to the corner store and buy a certain brand of potato chips. My socks were wet when I woke up the next morning, and my blood chilled when I stepped outside only to notice that it had indeed rained the night before. When I checked my bank statement, there had been a purchase at 2:46 AM for the amount of $3.46 that I didn’t remember. Hell, I had been asleep at that time. So I WAS sleepwalking, along with sleep purchasing and god only knows what else.
They kept happening. Always single mindedly compelled to complete some seemingly menial or meaningless task. I tried sleeping pills, when that didn’t work I tried caffeine pills to stay awake. When I eventually did crash and pass out they continued. I even tried getting blind drunk, and while I don’t remember having any vivid dreams or sleepwalking episodes, my bank account and transaction history begged to differ. I guess I was just too blackout drunk to remember, but it hadn’t stopped me.
Last night was the most surreal one yet. I went to this bench out at the park a couple of blocks away. When I got there, I reached beneath it, obtaining the gun that I somehow knew would be there. That’s when everything became fuzzy. I try and try to remember what else happened, but it’s a blur of blue and scarlet. When I heard there had been a shooting that killed 2 people down the street from my place, I could see their faces in my mind before the police released the photos of the victims. They had been a couple, out for a late night rendezvous. A man of average looks and build and his sweetheart, who’s blue eyes burned holes into my soul through the TV screen as they glared at me accusingly. For an instant when their photos were on the screen, I remembered seeing those blue eyes looking at me, pleading and full of fear, and then… a scarlet plume of blood as the bullet mangled her beautiful face beyond recognition…
That was when the realization finally hit home for me. I did it. I killed that couple. Somehow, in a nocturnal venture in my slumber, I had murdered them. I thought I was going crazy! That’s not me, not something I would ever in the slightest consider, much less actually do. A piece of me died that day- my innocence, I think.
I did what any decent human being in my situation would do, I resolved to turn myself in. If somehow I was becoming some crazed maniac in my sleep, the smartest thing to do would be to turn myself in, lest I somehow manage to harm more innocent people.
I went out for a good steak dinner, probably the last decent meal I’d ever get to eat before my last meal on death row someday. It was the most delicious meal I ever remember eating. I savored every little bite. Finished with my meal, I tipped several hundred dollars to my waitress- my last good deed that I knew would never make up for the harm I had caused, the lives I had taken. I took a cab to the police station, ready to own up and meet my fate. That’s when I heard it. A voice echoing minutely in my ear.
“Don’t do it,” it said. And suddenly, I found that I couldn’t. I stood there for a long time, trying to take that step up to the door, the voice repeating the command incessantly. It commanded and I obeyed. Its hooked tendrils were sunk in deep, and I was compelled to do as it said. That voice was familiar, I realized. It was the same voice that had greeted me when I opened my door that day. The same voice I heard after the surgical implant was unwillingly installed, trespassing in my brain. The same voice of the head of research and development. The friendly voice of ToxiCorp.

I live the best part of my life online. It’s a sign of the times we live in, I guess. There are the mundane humdrum happenings that occur in our lives offline- the boring day to day droll occurrences that one can usually set their watch to, and then there’s the amazing things that we are lucky enough to witness via the screen usually glued to our hands. There’s no comparison, really. Content curated by professionals who are successful enough to have millions of followers watching every video and upvoting every hilarious meme, versus boring work and the strained relationship with our folks and loved ones? YouTube and social media wins that one in a landslide victory, in my opinion. Candy, or vegetables?
My job painting apartments is menial, lots of repetition. The only real variation is that every other apartment is mirrored opposite the ones next to it. Kitchen on the right, bathroom on the left in this one. Bathroom on the right, kitchen on the left in that one. Over and over again, ad infinitum. I dip the roller in paint, and apply it to a section of wall, dip the roller, apply it to another section of wall, over and over and over again until it’s quitting time. If I finish an apartment before it’s time to get off, there are plenty of others to move on to. Every… single… day. Six days a week.
Repetition is half of the formula to insanity, I say. One of, if not the ONLY thing that helps in keeping me sane is a decent signal on my phone and a single bluetooth earbud. Having some sort of dialog- whether that be listening to an entertaining YouTuber doing a let’s play, to channels that narrate Creepypastas- I find helps in the passage of time while working. It helps my mind wander while my body goes on autopilot, thus finding an hour long story by one of my favorite channels that I haven’t heard yet is like a gift from the content gods.
One of the longest work days I can remember was the day that my earbud fell out and landed directly in my paint bucket. I cursed the universe as I watched it sink. It happened early in the day too, so I was forced to weather the remaining six hours with nothing but my own thoughts and the sound of my paint roller smearing on the walls. I had lost the other earbud somewhere months ago, so it’s not like I had a spare one charging somewhere, and by the end of the day I resolved it by buying two brand new pairs so if something like that ever happened again, I’d have no less than three backups.
I decided to treat myself, buying a cutting edge and top of the line brand. When one uses a product for most of the day, every day, it helps to buy quality, because it’s not just at work that I use them. When I’m driving, washing dishes at home or doing household chores, or just grinding out levels on a video game, there’s always some audio going on in my ear. Listening to podcasts while I’m folding laundry, reviews for new games and movies while I’m walking the dog, ten interesting facts about *insert topic here* while I’m eating dinner. It just helps me get through my day. And my nights too, falling asleep listening to spooky stories has gotten to the point where if I forget to charge my phone or earbuds and one of them dies before I fall asleep, I might as well get back up for a bit while the battery charges.
It may sound weird to some people, trying to follow a narrative while also trying to fall asleep seems like it would be counterintuitive, but just like how some people need a fan or a TV going, there are thousands of us falling asleep to a soothing voice telling a macabre tale every night. Probably millions, given how the technology has evolved in prior years.
When I received an email saying I’d won a chance to test out the next step of that evolution, I ignored it. I hadn’t signed up for any contest or sweepstakes that I was aware of. Probably just spam, I thought. When the physical letter showed up in my mail stating the same, I took it a little more seriously, but eventually chalked it up to the spammers just being persistent. More junk mail. They got my email and were able to find an address that matched it, probably not that hard to do considering how many sites I’ve used that email to sign up for over the years. I was well aware that people leave a digital footprint, along with a treasure trove of data for advertisers and scammers alike. I always just chalked it up to the price of admission as I dropped the letter in my trash bin without even opening it. After a few weeks, all of my brushing off and ignoring what I thought was a scam culminated with a knock at my door.
“Why hello, sir. We represent ToxiCorp, and we understand that you recently purchased our product- two pairs of our Premium Earbuds?” the gentlemen asked. He was an older fellow, wearing thick coke bottle glasses and sandals. Before I could even answer though, he went on. “We’ve attempted to contact you via mail in regards to your most wisest of purchases. First off, we at the Toxi Corporation would like to sincerely thank you! And also congratulate you! You’ve won our annual November-a-thon giveaway!” he finished, taking an overdue and long breath.
That was how I found out that it wasn’t just spam. They had gotten my information when I had registered the product for the warranty, and unbeknownst to me, had thrown my name in the hat for their contest. The prizes I had to choose from included $500 cash, or free ToxiCorp earbuds for life, which included a free upgrade every time they put out a new product. While the cash offer was tempting, I decided that the latter offer would get me more bang for my buck. High end earbuds, like those made by ToxiCorp, weren’t cheap afterall. Plus, being able to upgrade and try out the latest models for free made it, in my eyes, the better of the two options.
I agreed, and after signing a plethora of documentation, not all of which I could understand and much less even read, he was on his way. Later that week they contacted me via phone about my first upgrade. It turns out, while the two pairs I had recently bought were the most expensive that my local retailer had to offer, they were by far not the most expensive and functional ones that the company offered. That first upgrade was like night and day compared to the so-called ‘top of the line’ ones I had purchased. The sound was crisper, they had better bass, a longer battery life, a further range for the bluetooth, everything about them was superior.
Then, still very much pleased with my upgraded earbuds, they contacted me about their newest pair. This pair upgraded everything, along with having noise canceling and the ability to make phone calls via a small mic inside of the earbud.
And it kept going, every month there was a new upgraded version that blew the latest one out of the water with better clarity and added functionality. My daily distractions of listening to content at work was never better. Gone were the days of bringing my phone with me from room to room as I painted, the bluetooth had crystal clear connectivity anywhere in the apartment. Hell, I could leave my phone charging in my car outside and the signal would pick up through spans of parking lots and brick walls. The snug form fitting cushion in my ear ensured that they never fell out on accident, yet wasn’t intrusive. I could go on and on, singing praise for the innovation and quality that the good people at ToxiCorp were doing with their wide line of audio products. Until that is, they hit me with their latest upgrade.
I should have known something was off when they asked me to come to their R&D department for this latest upgrade. All I was told was that this newest iteration was still in the ‘experimental’ stage of development. Previously, they had always simply mailed the newest model straight to me. I simply chalked up this break in protocol to the fact that this one was still in the prototype stage. I had already decided that whatever it was, I wanted it. I was even excited that they decided to include me in testing whatever it was that they had cooked up. Boy, was I stupid.
I arrived at their facility and was greeted by their team of engineers. They led me to a small lobby and gave me refreshments while I waited, and that was the last thing I remembered. When I woke up, I was in a recovery room with bright fluorescent lights blinding me, and a litany of rhythmically beeping medical machines monitoring my vitals. I felt groggy as hell, and as I reached up to feel why the side of my head was throbbing I felt swollen flesh molding around stitches above and behind my right ear. They said that the nausea accompanied by the dizziness I felt was normal, and conducive to the operation they performed in and around my inner ear.
I was PISSED. When my complaints and threats finally summoned the head researcher, the very same old man who had come to my door to tell me I was a ‘winner’ walked into the room.
“What the hell!? How did I get here, and what the fuck is all this about some ‘procedure’!?” I yelled. “Did you people drug me? What kind of sick operation are you people running here?”
The old man merely smiled. “Nothing that you didn’t agree to. You gave us express permission when you signed our agreement.”
“Like hell I did!” I yelled. He produced a small remote and pointed it at me, pressing a button as I continued to yell. “¡Déjame salir de aquí y llamo a mi abogado!” I threatened. What the hell? I had yelled that in english, I clearly said “Let me out of here and I’m calling my lawyer,” and I had heard the english version in my other ear, but in my right ear, the ear that was throbbing and had been operated on, I heard what I assumed was spanish.
The scientist seemed pleased at the utter confusion that sank into my facial features. “Do you speak spanish?” he asked, grinning from ear to ear. He had really said “Habla espanol?”, I heard it with my untainted ear, but I also heard the english translation clear as day with the other.
I’ll admit, even though I was still utterly pissed about the situation, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little amazed.
“What… what else can it do?” I asked, my anger subsiding slightly.
His grin grew even wider. He came closer to show me the remote. It was something akin to an old iPod looking thing. He scrolled through a plethora of menus until he selected one labeled ‘Enhance Audio’. He then pointed it in the direction of two nurses conversing behind the other side of a large glass viewing window on the other side of the room. As soon as the remote was pointing in their direction, I could hear them.
“I can’t believe that prick stood you up like that, girl!” one said.
“He’s a loser anyway, I heard from Jenny that he isn’t even all that well endowed, if you know what I mean…” the other said, holding up her pinky finger which sent both of them into a giggling fit.
“Can you hear them? How clear is the audio?” the old man asked, pulling out a clipboard and pen seemingly from nowhere.
We ran a gauntlet of tests, trying out different features and modes, dialing in and fine tuning the settings. By the time we were finished, I wasn’t even all that mad anymore. I mean, I was still a little peeved. I had been tricked and drugged and operated on without my consent, I don’t care what the gibberish in my contract said, I felt violated. BUT… after all was said and done, I couldn’t help but feel like the benefits that the new implanted device offered were more than worth some shady and underhanded practices. I was kept in their facility for a couple of days for observation and more tests, compensated for my lost wages at my job, and given a prescription to fill- something to help with the pain while my body healed. They claimed it was ‘an astounding success!’, leaving me to wonder what would have happened if they had failed?
I went about my life, checking in with them via phone once a week, which I could now call and answer by merely thinking about it, thanks to their device. I could understand hundreds of spoken languages, I could hear conversations happening through brick walls with crystal clarity, and if it ever got too much I could always just lower the settings, even mute certain frequencies. Despite their underhanded techniques and the violation of my own body, my rage in them had subsided and became some more like a perturbed annoyance. They had drugged and operated me without my knowing consent, sure, but I was beginning to come around. Hell, I would have even said I came out like a thief, definitely better off than I had been.
Then, I began having the dreams.
My dreams since they had installed this thing in my head have been so vivid. Dreams that seem so real, almost like I was awake, but not in control. Like watching yourself sleepwalk. I have vague memories and impressions when I wake up, remnants of whatever cycles my subconscious mind rolls through when I’m out. In one, I only remember being told by some authority figure that I needed to go out to the corner store and buy a certain brand of potato chips. My socks were wet when I woke up the next morning, and my blood chilled when I stepped outside only to notice that it had indeed rained the night before. When I checked my bank statement, there had been a purchase at 2:46 AM for the amount of $3.46 that I didn’t remember. Hell, I had been asleep at that time. So I WAS sleepwalking, along with sleep purchasing and god only knows what else.
They kept happening. Always single mindedly compelled to complete some seemingly menial or meaningless task. I tried sleeping pills, when that didn’t work I tried caffeine pills to stay awake. When I eventually did crash and pass out they continued. I even tried getting blind drunk, and while I don’t remember having any vivid dreams or sleepwalking episodes, my bank account and transaction history begged to differ. I guess I was just too blackout drunk to remember, but it hadn’t stopped me.
Last night was the most surreal one yet. I went to this bench out at the park a couple of blocks away. When I got there, I reached beneath it, obtaining the gun that I somehow knew would be there. That’s when everything became fuzzy. I try and try to remember what else happened, but it’s a blur of blue and scarlet. When I heard there had been a shooting that killed 2 people down the street from my place, I could see their faces in my mind before the police released the photos of the victims. They had been a couple, out for a late night rendezvous. A man of average looks and build and his sweetheart, who’s blue eyes burned holes into my soul through the TV screen as they glared at me accusingly. For an instant when their photos were on the screen, I remembered seeing those blue eyes looking at me, pleading and full of fear, and then… a scarlet plume of blood as the bullet mangled her beautiful face beyond recognition…
That was when the realization finally hit home for me. I did it. I killed that couple. Somehow, in a nocturnal venture in my slumber, I had murdered them. I thought I was going crazy! That’s not me, not something I would ever in the slightest consider, much less actually do. A piece of me died that day- my innocence, I think.
I did what any decent human being in my situation would do, I resolved to turn myself in. If somehow I was becoming some crazed maniac in my sleep, the smartest thing to do would be to turn myself in, lest I somehow manage to harm more innocent people.
I went out for a good steak dinner, probably the last decent meal I’d ever get to eat before my last meal on death row someday. It was the most delicious meal I ever remember eating. I savored every little bite. Finished with my meal, I tipped several hundred dollars to my waitress- my last good deed that I knew would never make up for the harm I had caused, the lives I had taken. I took a cab to the police station, ready to own up and meet my fate. That’s when I heard it. A voice echoing minutely in my ear.
“Don’t do it,” it said. And suddenly, I found that I couldn’t. I stood there for a long time, trying to take that step up to the door, the voice repeating the command incessantly. It commanded and I obeyed. Its hooked tendrils were sunk in deep, and I was compelled to do as it said. That voice was familiar, I realized. It was the same voice that had greeted me when I opened my door that day. The same voice I heard after the surgical implant was unwillingly installed, trespassing in my brain. The same voice of the head of research and development. The friendly voice of ToxiCorp.

I live the best part of my life online. It’s a sign of the times we live in, I guess. There are the mundane humdrum happenings that occur in our lives offline- the boring day to day droll occurrences that one can usually set their watch to, and then there’s the amazing things that we are lucky enough to witness via the screen usually glued to our hands. There’s no comparison, really. Content curated by professionals who are successful enough to have millions of followers watching every video and upvoting every hilarious meme, versus boring work and the strained relationship with our folks and loved ones? YouTube and social media wins that one in a landslide victory, in my opinion. Candy, or vegetables?
My job painting apartments is menial, lots of repetition. The only real variation is that every other apartment is mirrored opposite the ones next to it. Kitchen on the right, bathroom on the left in this one. Bathroom on the right, kitchen on the left in that one. Over and over again, ad infinitum. I dip the roller in paint, and apply it to a section of wall, dip the roller, apply it to another section of wall, over and over and over again until it’s quitting time. If I finish an apartment before it’s time to get off, there are plenty of others to move on to. Every… single… day. Six days a week.
Repetition is half of the formula to insanity, I say. One of, if not the ONLY thing that helps in keeping me sane is a decent signal on my phone and a single bluetooth earbud. Having some sort of dialog- whether that be listening to an entertaining YouTuber doing a let’s play, to channels that narrate Creepypastas- I find helps in the passage of time while working. It helps my mind wander while my body goes on autopilot, thus finding an hour long story by one of my favorite channels that I haven’t heard yet is like a gift from the content gods.
One of the longest work days I can remember was the day that my earbud fell out and landed directly in my paint bucket. I cursed the universe as I watched it sink. It happened early in the day too, so I was forced to weather the remaining six hours with nothing but my own thoughts and the sound of my paint roller smearing on the walls. I had lost the other earbud somewhere months ago, so it’s not like I had a spare one charging somewhere, and by the end of the day I resolved it by buying two brand new pairs so if something like that ever happened again, I’d have no less than three backups.
I decided to treat myself, buying a cutting edge and top of the line brand. When one uses a product for most of the day, every day, it helps to buy quality, because it’s not just at work that I use them. When I’m driving, washing dishes at home or doing household chores, or just grinding out levels on a video game, there’s always some audio going on in my ear. Listening to podcasts while I’m folding laundry, reviews for new games and movies while I’m walking the dog, ten interesting facts about *insert topic here* while I’m eating dinner. It just helps me get through my day. And my nights too, falling asleep listening to spooky stories has gotten to the point where if I forget to charge my phone or earbuds and one of them dies before I fall asleep, I might as well get back up for a bit while the battery charges.
It may sound weird to some people, trying to follow a narrative while also trying to fall asleep seems like it would be counterintuitive, but just like how some people need a fan or a TV going, there are thousands of us falling asleep to a soothing voice telling a macabre tale every night. Probably millions, given how the technology has evolved in prior years.
When I received an email saying I’d won a chance to test out the next step of that evolution, I ignored it. I hadn’t signed up for any contest or sweepstakes that I was aware of. Probably just spam, I thought. When the physical letter showed up in my mail stating the same, I took it a little more seriously, but eventually chalked it up to the spammers just being persistent. More junk mail. They got my email and were able to find an address that matched it, probably not that hard to do considering how many sites I’ve used that email to sign up for over the years. I was well aware that people leave a digital footprint, along with a treasure trove of data for advertisers and scammers alike. I always just chalked it up to the price of admission as I dropped the letter in my trash bin without even opening it. After a few weeks, all of my brushing off and ignoring what I thought was a scam culminated with a knock at my door.
“Why hello, sir. We represent ToxiCorp, and we understand that you recently purchased our product- two pairs of our Premium Earbuds?” the gentlemen asked. He was an older fellow, wearing thick coke bottle glasses and sandals. Before I could even answer though, he went on. “We’ve attempted to contact you via mail in regards to your most wisest of purchases. First off, we at the Toxi Corporation would like to sincerely thank you! And also congratulate you! You’ve won our annual November-a-thon giveaway!” he finished, taking an overdue and long breath.
That was how I found out that it wasn’t just spam. They had gotten my information when I had registered the product for the warranty, and unbeknownst to me, had thrown my name in the hat for their contest. The prizes I had to choose from included $500 cash, or free ToxiCorp earbuds for life, which included a free upgrade every time they put out a new product. While the cash offer was tempting, I decided that the latter offer would get me more bang for my buck. High end earbuds, like those made by ToxiCorp, weren’t cheap afterall. Plus, being able to upgrade and try out the latest models for free made it, in my eyes, the better of the two options.
I agreed, and after signing a plethora of documentation, not all of which I could understand and much less even read, he was on his way. Later that week they contacted me via phone about my first upgrade. It turns out, while the two pairs I had recently bought were the most expensive that my local retailer had to offer, they were by far not the most expensive and functional ones that the company offered. That first upgrade was like night and day compared to the so-called ‘top of the line’ ones I had purchased. The sound was crisper, they had better bass, a longer battery life, a further range for the bluetooth, everything about them was superior.
Then, still very much pleased with my upgraded earbuds, they contacted me about their newest pair. This pair upgraded everything, along with having noise canceling and the ability to make phone calls via a small mic inside of the earbud.
And it kept going, every month there was a new upgraded version that blew the latest one out of the water with better clarity and added functionality. My daily distractions of listening to content at work was never better. Gone were the days of bringing my phone with me from room to room as I painted, the bluetooth had crystal clear connectivity anywhere in the apartment. Hell, I could leave my phone charging in my car outside and the signal would pick up through spans of parking lots and brick walls. The snug form fitting cushion in my ear ensured that they never fell out on accident, yet wasn’t intrusive. I could go on and on, singing praise for the innovation and quality that the good people at ToxiCorp were doing with their wide line of audio products. Until that is, they hit me with their latest upgrade.
I should have known something was off when they asked me to come to their R&D department for this latest upgrade. All I was told was that this newest iteration was still in the ‘experimental’ stage of development. Previously, they had always simply mailed the newest model straight to me. I simply chalked up this break in protocol to the fact that this one was still in the prototype stage. I had already decided that whatever it was, I wanted it. I was even excited that they decided to include me in testing whatever it was that they had cooked up. Boy, was I stupid.
I arrived at their facility and was greeted by their team of engineers. They led me to a small lobby and gave me refreshments while I waited, and that was the last thing I remembered. When I woke up, I was in a recovery room with bright fluorescent lights blinding me, and a litany of rhythmically beeping medical machines monitoring my vitals. I felt groggy as hell, and as I reached up to feel why the side of my head was throbbing I felt swollen flesh molding around stitches above and behind my right ear. They said that the nausea accompanied by the dizziness I felt was normal, and conducive to the operation they performed in and around my inner ear.
I was PISSED. When my complaints and threats finally summoned the head researcher, the very same old man who had come to my door to tell me I was a ‘winner’ walked into the room.
“What the hell!? How did I get here, and what the fuck is all this about some ‘procedure’!?” I yelled. “Did you people drug me? What kind of sick operation are you people running here?”
The old man merely smiled. “Nothing that you didn’t agree to. You gave us express permission when you signed our agreement.”
“Like hell I did!” I yelled. He produced a small remote and pointed it at me, pressing a button as I continued to yell. “¡Déjame salir de aquí y llamo a mi abogado!” I threatened. What the hell? I had yelled that in english, I clearly said “Let me out of here and I’m calling my lawyer,” and I had heard the english version in my other ear, but in my right ear, the ear that was throbbing and had been operated on, I heard what I assumed was spanish.
The scientist seemed pleased at the utter confusion that sank into my facial features. “Do you speak spanish?” he asked, grinning from ear to ear. He had really said “Habla espanol?”, I heard it with my untainted ear, but I also heard the english translation clear as day with the other.
I’ll admit, even though I was still utterly pissed about the situation, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little amazed.
“What… what else can it do?” I asked, my anger subsiding slightly.
His grin grew even wider. He came closer to show me the remote. It was something akin to an old iPod looking thing. He scrolled through a plethora of menus until he selected one labeled ‘Enhance Audio’. He then pointed it in the direction of two nurses conversing behind the other side of a large glass viewing window on the other side of the room. As soon as the remote was pointing in their direction, I could hear them.
“I can’t believe that prick stood you up like that, girl!” one said.
“He’s a loser anyway, I heard from Jenny that he isn’t even all that well endowed, if you know what I mean…” the other said, holding up her pinky finger which sent both of them into a giggling fit.
“Can you hear them? How clear is the audio?” the old man asked, pulling out a clipboard and pen seemingly from nowhere.
We ran a gauntlet of tests, trying out different features and modes, dialing in and fine tuning the settings. By the time we were finished, I wasn’t even all that mad anymore. I mean, I was still a little peeved. I had been tricked and drugged and operated on without my consent, I don’t care what the gibberish in my contract said, I felt violated. BUT… after all was said and done, I couldn’t help but feel like the benefits that the new implanted device offered were more than worth some shady and underhanded practices. I was kept in their facility for a couple of days for observation and more tests, compensated for my lost wages at my job, and given a prescription to fill- something to help with the pain while my body healed. They claimed it was ‘an astounding success!’, leaving me to wonder what would have happened if they had failed?
I went about my life, checking in with them via phone once a week, which I could now call and answer by merely thinking about it, thanks to their device. I could understand hundreds of spoken languages, I could hear conversations happening through brick walls with crystal clarity, and if it ever got too much I could always just lower the settings, even mute certain frequencies. Despite their underhanded techniques and the violation of my own body, my rage in them had subsided and became some more like a perturbed annoyance. They had drugged and operated me without my knowing consent, sure, but I was beginning to come around. Hell, I would have even said I came out like a thief, definitely better off than I had been.
Then, I began having the dreams.
My dreams since they had installed this thing in my head have been so vivid. Dreams that seem so real, almost like I was awake, but not in control. Like watching yourself sleepwalk. I have vague memories and impressions when I wake up, remnants of whatever cycles my subconscious mind rolls through when I’m out. In one, I only remember being told by some authority figure that I needed to go out to the corner store and buy a certain brand of potato chips. My socks were wet when I woke up the next morning, and my blood chilled when I stepped outside only to notice that it had indeed rained the night before. When I checked my bank statement, there had been a purchase at 2:46 AM for the amount of $3.46 that I didn’t remember. Hell, I had been asleep at that time. So I WAS sleepwalking, along with sleep purchasing and god only knows what else.
They kept happening. Always single mindedly compelled to complete some seemingly menial or meaningless task. I tried sleeping pills, when that didn’t work I tried caffeine pills to stay awake. When I eventually did crash and pass out they continued. I even tried getting blind drunk, and while I don’t remember having any vivid dreams or sleepwalking episodes, my bank account and transaction history begged to differ. I guess I was just too blackout drunk to remember, but it hadn’t stopped me.
Last night was the most surreal one yet. I went to this bench out at the park a couple of blocks away. When I got there, I reached beneath it, obtaining the gun that I somehow knew would be there. That’s when everything became fuzzy. I try and try to remember what else happened, but it’s a blur of blue and scarlet. When I heard there had been a shooting that killed 2 people down the street from my place, I could see their faces in my mind before the police released the photos of the victims. They had been a couple, out for a late night rendezvous. A man of average looks and build and his sweetheart, who’s blue eyes burned holes into my soul through the TV screen as they glared at me accusingly. For an instant when their photos were on the screen, I remembered seeing those blue eyes looking at me, pleading and full of fear, and then… a scarlet plume of blood as the bullet mangled her beautiful face beyond recognition…
That was when the realization finally hit home for me. I did it. I killed that couple. Somehow, in a nocturnal venture in my slumber, I had murdered them. I thought I was going crazy! That’s not me, not something I would ever in the slightest consider, much less actually do. A piece of me died that day- my innocence, I think.
I did what any decent human being in my situation would do, I resolved to turn myself in. If somehow I was becoming some crazed maniac in my sleep, the smartest thing to do would be to turn myself in, lest I somehow manage to harm more innocent people.
I went out for a good steak dinner, probably the last decent meal I’d ever get to eat before my last meal on death row someday. It was the most delicious meal I ever remember eating. I savored every little bite. Finished with my meal, I tipped several hundred dollars to my waitress- my last good deed that I knew would never make up for the harm I had caused, the lives I had taken. I took a cab to the police station, ready to own up and meet my fate. That’s when I heard it. A voice echoing minutely in my ear.
“Don’t do it,” it said. And suddenly, I found that I couldn’t. I stood there for a long time, trying to take that step up to the door, the voice repeating the command incessantly. It commanded and I obeyed. Its hooked tendrils were sunk in deep, and I was compelled to do as it said. That voice was familiar, I realized. It was the same voice that had greeted me when I opened my door that day. The same voice I heard after the surgical implant was unwillingly installed, trespassing in my brain. The same voice of the head of research and development. The friendly voice of ToxiCorp.

I live the best part of my life online. It’s a sign of the times we live in, I guess. There are the mundane humdrum happenings that occur in our lives offline- the boring day to day droll occurrences that one can usually set their watch to, and then there’s the amazing things that we are lucky enough to witness via the screen usually glued to our hands. There’s no comparison, really. Content curated by professionals who are successful enough to have millions of followers watching every video and upvoting every hilarious meme, versus boring work and the strained relationship with our folks and loved ones? YouTube and social media wins that one in a landslide victory, in my opinion. Candy, or vegetables?
My job painting apartments is menial, lots of repetition. The only real variation is that every other apartment is mirrored opposite the ones next to it. Kitchen on the right, bathroom on the left in this one. Bathroom on the right, kitchen on the left in that one. Over and over again, ad infinitum. I dip the roller in paint, and apply it to a section of wall, dip the roller, apply it to another section of wall, over and over and over again until it’s quitting time. If I finish an apartment before it’s time to get off, there are plenty of others to move on to. Every… single… day. Six days a week.
Repetition is half of the formula to insanity, I say. One of, if not the ONLY thing that helps in keeping me sane is a decent signal on my phone and a single bluetooth earbud. Having some sort of dialog- whether that be listening to an entertaining YouTuber doing a let’s play, to channels that narrate Creepypastas- I find helps in the passage of time while working. It helps my mind wander while my body goes on autopilot, thus finding an hour long story by one of my favorite channels that I haven’t heard yet is like a gift from the content gods.
One of the longest work days I can remember was the day that my earbud fell out and landed directly in my paint bucket. I cursed the universe as I watched it sink. It happened early in the day too, so I was forced to weather the remaining six hours with nothing but my own thoughts and the sound of my paint roller smearing on the walls. I had lost the other earbud somewhere months ago, so it’s not like I had a spare one charging somewhere, and by the end of the day I resolved it by buying two brand new pairs so if something like that ever happened again, I’d have no less than three backups.
I decided to treat myself, buying a cutting edge and top of the line brand. When one uses a product for most of the day, every day, it helps to buy quality, because it’s not just at work that I use them. When I’m driving, washing dishes at home or doing household chores, or just grinding out levels on a video game, there’s always some audio going on in my ear. Listening to podcasts while I’m folding laundry, reviews for new games and movies while I’m walking the dog, ten interesting facts about *insert topic here* while I’m eating dinner. It just helps me get through my day. And my nights too, falling asleep listening to spooky stories has gotten to the point where if I forget to charge my phone or earbuds and one of them dies before I fall asleep, I might as well get back up for a bit while the battery charges.
It may sound weird to some people, trying to follow a narrative while also trying to fall asleep seems like it would be counterintuitive, but just like how some people need a fan or a TV going, there are thousands of us falling asleep to a soothing voice telling a macabre tale every night. Probably millions, given how the technology has evolved in prior years.
When I received an email saying I’d won a chance to test out the next step of that evolution, I ignored it. I hadn’t signed up for any contest or sweepstakes that I was aware of. Probably just spam, I thought. When the physical letter showed up in my mail stating the same, I took it a little more seriously, but eventually chalked it up to the spammers just being persistent. More junk mail. They got my email and were able to find an address that matched it, probably not that hard to do considering how many sites I’ve used that email to sign up for over the years. I was well aware that people leave a digital footprint, along with a treasure trove of data for advertisers and scammers alike. I always just chalked it up to the price of admission as I dropped the letter in my trash bin without even opening it. After a few weeks, all of my brushing off and ignoring what I thought was a scam culminated with a knock at my door.
“Why hello, sir. We represent ToxiCorp, and we understand that you recently purchased our product- two pairs of our Premium Earbuds?” the gentlemen asked. He was an older fellow, wearing thick coke bottle glasses and sandals. Before I could even answer though, he went on. “We’ve attempted to contact you via mail in regards to your most wisest of purchases. First off, we at the Toxi Corporation would like to sincerely thank you! And also congratulate you! You’ve won our annual November-a-thon giveaway!” he finished, taking an overdue and long breath.
That was how I found out that it wasn’t just spam. They had gotten my information when I had registered the product for the warranty, and unbeknownst to me, had thrown my name in the hat for their contest. The prizes I had to choose from included $500 cash, or free ToxiCorp earbuds for life, which included a free upgrade every time they put out a new product. While the cash offer was tempting, I decided that the latter offer would get me more bang for my buck. High end earbuds, like those made by ToxiCorp, weren’t cheap afterall. Plus, being able to upgrade and try out the latest models for free made it, in my eyes, the better of the two options.
I agreed, and after signing a plethora of documentation, not all of which I could understand and much less even read, he was on his way. Later that week they contacted me via phone about my first upgrade. It turns out, while the two pairs I had recently bought were the most expensive that my local retailer had to offer, they were by far not the most expensive and functional ones that the company offered. That first upgrade was like night and day compared to the so-called ‘top of the line’ ones I had purchased. The sound was crisper, they had better bass, a longer battery life, a further range for the bluetooth, everything about them was superior.
Then, still very much pleased with my upgraded earbuds, they contacted me about their newest pair. This pair upgraded everything, along with having noise canceling and the ability to make phone calls via a small mic inside of the earbud.
And it kept going, every month there was a new upgraded version that blew the latest one out of the water with better clarity and added functionality. My daily distractions of listening to content at work was never better. Gone were the days of bringing my phone with me from room to room as I painted, the bluetooth had crystal clear connectivity anywhere in the apartment. Hell, I could leave my phone charging in my car outside and the signal would pick up through spans of parking lots and brick walls. The snug form fitting cushion in my ear ensured that they never fell out on accident, yet wasn’t intrusive. I could go on and on, singing praise for the innovation and quality that the good people at ToxiCorp were doing with their wide line of audio products. Until that is, they hit me with their latest upgrade.
I should have known something was off when they asked me to come to their R&D department for this latest upgrade. All I was told was that this newest iteration was still in the ‘experimental’ stage of development. Previously, they had always simply mailed the newest model straight to me. I simply chalked up this break in protocol to the fact that this one was still in the prototype stage. I had already decided that whatever it was, I wanted it. I was even excited that they decided to include me in testing whatever it was that they had cooked up. Boy, was I stupid.
I arrived at their facility and was greeted by their team of engineers. They led me to a small lobby and gave me refreshments while I waited, and that was the last thing I remembered. When I woke up, I was in a recovery room with bright fluorescent lights blinding me, and a litany of rhythmically beeping medical machines monitoring my vitals. I felt groggy as hell, and as I reached up to feel why the side of my head was throbbing I felt swollen flesh molding around stitches above and behind my right ear. They said that the nausea accompanied by the dizziness I felt was normal, and conducive to the operation they performed in and around my inner ear.
I was PISSED. When my complaints and threats finally summoned the head researcher, the very same old man who had come to my door to tell me I was a ‘winner’ walked into the room.
“What the hell!? How did I get here, and what the fuck is all this about some ‘procedure’!?” I yelled. “Did you people drug me? What kind of sick operation are you people running here?”
The old man merely smiled. “Nothing that you didn’t agree to. You gave us express permission when you signed our agreement.”
“Like hell I did!” I yelled. He produced a small remote and pointed it at me, pressing a button as I continued to yell. “¡Déjame salir de aquí y llamo a mi abogado!” I threatened. What the hell? I had yelled that in english, I clearly said “Let me out of here and I’m calling my lawyer,” and I had heard the english version in my other ear, but in my right ear, the ear that was throbbing and had been operated on, I heard what I assumed was spanish.
The scientist seemed pleased at the utter confusion that sank into my facial features. “Do you speak spanish?” he asked, grinning from ear to ear. He had really said “Habla espanol?”, I heard it with my untainted ear, but I also heard the english translation clear as day with the other.
I’ll admit, even though I was still utterly pissed about the situation, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little amazed.
“What… what else can it do?” I asked, my anger subsiding slightly.
His grin grew even wider. He came closer to show me the remote. It was something akin to an old iPod looking thing. He scrolled through a plethora of menus until he selected one labeled ‘Enhance Audio’. He then pointed it in the direction of two nurses conversing behind the other side of a large glass viewing window on the other side of the room. As soon as the remote was pointing in their direction, I could hear them.
“I can’t believe that prick stood you up like that, girl!” one said.
“He’s a loser anyway, I heard from Jenny that he isn’t even all that well endowed, if you know what I mean…” the other said, holding up her pinky finger which sent both of them into a giggling fit.
“Can you hear them? How clear is the audio?” the old man asked, pulling out a clipboard and pen seemingly from nowhere.
We ran a gauntlet of tests, trying out different features and modes, dialing in and fine tuning the settings. By the time we were finished, I wasn’t even all that mad anymore. I mean, I was still a little peeved. I had been tricked and drugged and operated on without my consent, I don’t care what the gibberish in my contract said, I felt violated. BUT… after all was said and done, I couldn’t help but feel like the benefits that the new implanted device offered were more than worth some shady and underhanded practices. I was kept in their facility for a couple of days for observation and more tests, compensated for my lost wages at my job, and given a prescription to fill- something to help with the pain while my body healed. They claimed it was ‘an astounding success!’, leaving me to wonder what would have happened if they had failed?
I went about my life, checking in with them via phone once a week, which I could now call and answer by merely thinking about it, thanks to their device. I could understand hundreds of spoken languages, I could hear conversations happening through brick walls with crystal clarity, and if it ever got too much I could always just lower the settings, even mute certain frequencies. Despite their underhanded techniques and the violation of my own body, my rage in them had subsided and became some more like a perturbed annoyance. They had drugged and operated me without my knowing consent, sure, but I was beginning to come around. Hell, I would have even said I came out like a thief, definitely better off than I had been.
Then, I began having the dreams.
My dreams since they had installed this thing in my head have been so vivid. Dreams that seem so real, almost like I was awake, but not in control. Like watching yourself sleepwalk. I have vague memories and impressions when I wake up, remnants of whatever cycles my subconscious mind rolls through when I’m out. In one, I only remember being told by some authority figure that I needed to go out to the corner store and buy a certain brand of potato chips. My socks were wet when I woke up the next morning, and my blood chilled when I stepped outside only to notice that it had indeed rained the night before. When I checked my bank statement, there had been a purchase at 2:46 AM for the amount of $3.46 that I didn’t remember. Hell, I had been asleep at that time. So I WAS sleepwalking, along with sleep purchasing and god only knows what else.
They kept happening. Always single mindedly compelled to complete some seemingly menial or meaningless task. I tried sleeping pills, when that didn’t work I tried caffeine pills to stay awake. When I eventually did crash and pass out they continued. I even tried getting blind drunk, and while I don’t remember having any vivid dreams or sleepwalking episodes, my bank account and transaction history begged to differ. I guess I was just too blackout drunk to remember, but it hadn’t stopped me.
Last night was the most surreal one yet. I went to this bench out at the park a couple of blocks away. When I got there, I reached beneath it, obtaining the gun that I somehow knew would be there. That’s when everything became fuzzy. I try and try to remember what else happened, but it’s a blur of blue and scarlet. When I heard there had been a shooting that killed 2 people down the street from my place, I could see their faces in my mind before the police released the photos of the victims. They had been a couple, out for a late night rendezvous. A man of average looks and build and his sweetheart, who’s blue eyes burned holes into my soul through the TV screen as they glared at me accusingly. For an instant when their photos were on the screen, I remembered seeing those blue eyes looking at me, pleading and full of fear, and then… a scarlet plume of blood as the bullet mangled her beautiful face beyond recognition…
That was when the realization finally hit home for me. I did it. I killed that couple. Somehow, in a nocturnal venture in my slumber, I had murdered them. I thought I was going crazy! That’s not me, not something I would ever in the slightest consider, much less actually do. A piece of me died that day- my innocence, I think.
I did what any decent human being in my situation would do, I resolved to turn myself in. If somehow I was becoming some crazed maniac in my sleep, the smartest thing to do would be to turn myself in, lest I somehow manage to harm more innocent people.
I went out for a good steak dinner, probably the last decent meal I’d ever get to eat before my last meal on death row someday. It was the most delicious meal I ever remember eating. I savored every little bite. Finished with my meal, I tipped several hundred dollars to my waitress- my last good deed that I knew would never make up for the harm I had caused, the lives I had taken. I took a cab to the police station, ready to own up and meet my fate. That’s when I heard it. A voice echoing minutely in my ear.
“Don’t do it,” it said. And suddenly, I found that I couldn’t. I stood there for a long time, trying to take that step up to the door, the voice repeating the command incessantly. It commanded and I obeyed. Its hooked tendrils were sunk in deep, and I was compelled to do as it said. That voice was familiar, I realized. It was the same voice that had greeted me when I opened my door that day. The same voice I heard after the surgical implant was unwillingly installed, trespassing in my brain. The same voice of the head of research and development. The friendly voice of ToxiCorp.

I live the best part of my life online. It’s a sign of the times we live in, I guess. There are the mundane humdrum happenings that occur in our lives offline- the boring day to day droll occurrences that one can usually set their watch to, and then there’s the amazing things that we are lucky enough to witness via the screen usually glued to our hands. There’s no comparison, really. Content curated by professionals who are successful enough to have millions of followers watching every video and upvoting every hilarious meme, versus boring work and the strained relationship with our folks and loved ones? YouTube and social media wins that one in a landslide victory, in my opinion. Candy, or vegetables?
My job painting apartments is menial, lots of repetition. The only real variation is that every other apartment is mirrored opposite the ones next to it. Kitchen on the right, bathroom on the left in this one. Bathroom on the right, kitchen on the left in that one. Over and over again, ad infinitum. I dip the roller in paint, and apply it to a section of wall, dip the roller, apply it to another section of wall, over and over and over again until it’s quitting time. If I finish an apartment before it’s time to get off, there are plenty of others to move on to. Every… single… day. Six days a week.
Repetition is half of the formula to insanity, I say. One of, if not the ONLY thing that helps in keeping me sane is a decent signal on my phone and a single bluetooth earbud. Having some sort of dialog- whether that be listening to an entertaining YouTuber doing a let’s play, to channels that narrate Creepypastas- I find helps in the passage of time while working. It helps my mind wander while my body goes on autopilot, thus finding an hour long story by one of my favorite channels that I haven’t heard yet is like a gift from the content gods.
One of the longest work days I can remember was the day that my earbud fell out and landed directly in my paint bucket. I cursed the universe as I watched it sink. It happened early in the day too, so I was forced to weather the remaining six hours with nothing but my own thoughts and the sound of my paint roller smearing on the walls. I had lost the other earbud somewhere months ago, so it’s not like I had a spare one charging somewhere, and by the end of the day I resolved it by buying two brand new pairs so if something like that ever happened again, I’d have no less than three backups.
I decided to treat myself, buying a cutting edge and top of the line brand. When one uses a product for most of the day, every day, it helps to buy quality, because it’s not just at work that I use them. When I’m driving, washing dishes at home or doing household chores, or just grinding out levels on a video game, there’s always some audio going on in my ear. Listening to podcasts while I’m folding laundry, reviews for new games and movies while I’m walking the dog, ten interesting facts about *insert topic here* while I’m eating dinner. It just helps me get through my day. And my nights too, falling asleep listening to spooky stories has gotten to the point where if I forget to charge my phone or earbuds and one of them dies before I fall asleep, I might as well get back up for a bit while the battery charges.
It may sound weird to some people, trying to follow a narrative while also trying to fall asleep seems like it would be counterintuitive, but just like how some people need a fan or a TV going, there are thousands of us falling asleep to a soothing voice telling a macabre tale every night. Probably millions, given how the technology has evolved in prior years.
When I received an email saying I’d won a chance to test out the next step of that evolution, I ignored it. I hadn’t signed up for any contest or sweepstakes that I was aware of. Probably just spam, I thought. When the physical letter showed up in my mail stating the same, I took it a little more seriously, but eventually chalked it up to the spammers just being persistent. More junk mail. They got my email and were able to find an address that matched it, probably not that hard to do considering how many sites I’ve used that email to sign up for over the years. I was well aware that people leave a digital footprint, along with a treasure trove of data for advertisers and scammers alike. I always just chalked it up to the price of admission as I dropped the letter in my trash bin without even opening it. After a few weeks, all of my brushing off and ignoring what I thought was a scam culminated with a knock at my door.
“Why hello, sir. We represent ToxiCorp, and we understand that you recently purchased our product- two pairs of our Premium Earbuds?” the gentlemen asked. He was an older fellow, wearing thick coke bottle glasses and sandals. Before I could even answer though, he went on. “We’ve attempted to contact you via mail in regards to your most wisest of purchases. First off, we at the Toxi Corporation would like to sincerely thank you! And also congratulate you! You’ve won our annual November-a-thon giveaway!” he finished, taking an overdue and long breath.
That was how I found out that it wasn’t just spam. They had gotten my information when I had registered the product for the warranty, and unbeknownst to me, had thrown my name in the hat for their contest. The prizes I had to choose from included $500 cash, or free ToxiCorp earbuds for life, which included a free upgrade every time they put out a new product. While the cash offer was tempting, I decided that the latter offer would get me more bang for my buck. High end earbuds, like those made by ToxiCorp, weren’t cheap afterall. Plus, being able to upgrade and try out the latest models for free made it, in my eyes, the better of the two options.
I agreed, and after signing a plethora of documentation, not all of which I could understand and much less even read, he was on his way. Later that week they contacted me via phone about my first upgrade. It turns out, while the two pairs I had recently bought were the most expensive that my local retailer had to offer, they were by far not the most expensive and functional ones that the company offered. That first upgrade was like night and day compared to the so-called ‘top of the line’ ones I had purchased. The sound was crisper, they had better bass, a longer battery life, a further range for the bluetooth, everything about them was superior.
Then, still very much pleased with my upgraded earbuds, they contacted me about their newest pair. This pair upgraded everything, along with having noise canceling and the ability to make phone calls via a small mic inside of the earbud.
And it kept going, every month there was a new upgraded version that blew the latest one out of the water with better clarity and added functionality. My daily distractions of listening to content at work was never better. Gone were the days of bringing my phone with me from room to room as I painted, the bluetooth had crystal clear connectivity anywhere in the apartment. Hell, I could leave my phone charging in my car outside and the signal would pick up through spans of parking lots and brick walls. The snug form fitting cushion in my ear ensured that they never fell out on accident, yet wasn’t intrusive. I could go on and on, singing praise for the innovation and quality that the good people at ToxiCorp were doing with their wide line of audio products. Until that is, they hit me with their latest upgrade.
I should have known something was off when they asked me to come to their R&D department for this latest upgrade. All I was told was that this newest iteration was still in the ‘experimental’ stage of development. Previously, they had always simply mailed the newest model straight to me. I simply chalked up this break in protocol to the fact that this one was still in the prototype stage. I had already decided that whatever it was, I wanted it. I was even excited that they decided to include me in testing whatever it was that they had cooked up. Boy, was I stupid.
I arrived at their facility and was greeted by their team of engineers. They led me to a small lobby and gave me refreshments while I waited, and that was the last thing I remembered. When I woke up, I was in a recovery room with bright fluorescent lights blinding me, and a litany of rhythmically beeping medical machines monitoring my vitals. I felt groggy as hell, and as I reached up to feel why the side of my head was throbbing I felt swollen flesh molding around stitches above and behind my right ear. They said that the nausea accompanied by the dizziness I felt was normal, and conducive to the operation they performed in and around my inner ear.
I was PISSED. When my complaints and threats finally summoned the head researcher, the very same old man who had come to my door to tell me I was a ‘winner’ walked into the room.
“What the hell!? How did I get here, and what the fuck is all this about some ‘procedure’!?” I yelled. “Did you people drug me? What kind of sick operation are you people running here?”
The old man merely smiled. “Nothing that you didn’t agree to. You gave us express permission when you signed our agreement.”
“Like hell I did!” I yelled. He produced a small remote and pointed it at me, pressing a button as I continued to yell. “¡Déjame salir de aquí y llamo a mi abogado!” I threatened. What the hell? I had yelled that in english, I clearly said “Let me out of here and I’m calling my lawyer,” and I had heard the english version in my other ear, but in my right ear, the ear that was throbbing and had been operated on, I heard what I assumed was spanish.
The scientist seemed pleased at the utter confusion that sank into my facial features. “Do you speak spanish?” he asked, grinning from ear to ear. He had really said “Habla espanol?”, I heard it with my untainted ear, but I also heard the english translation clear as day with the other.
I’ll admit, even though I was still utterly pissed about the situation, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little amazed.
“What… what else can it do?” I asked, my anger subsiding slightly.
His grin grew even wider. He came closer to show me the remote. It was something akin to an old iPod looking thing. He scrolled through a plethora of menus until he selected one labeled ‘Enhance Audio’. He then pointed it in the direction of two nurses conversing behind the other side of a large glass viewing window on the other side of the room. As soon as the remote was pointing in their direction, I could hear them.
“I can’t believe that prick stood you up like that, girl!” one said.
“He’s a loser anyway, I heard from Jenny that he isn’t even all that well endowed, if you know what I mean…” the other said, holding up her pinky finger which sent both of them into a giggling fit.
“Can you hear them? How clear is the audio?” the old man asked, pulling out a clipboard and pen seemingly from nowhere.
We ran a gauntlet of tests, trying out different features and modes, dialing in and fine tuning the settings. By the time we were finished, I wasn’t even all that mad anymore. I mean, I was still a little peeved. I had been tricked and drugged and operated on without my consent, I don’t care what the gibberish in my contract said, I felt violated. BUT… after all was said and done, I couldn’t help but feel like the benefits that the new implanted device offered were more than worth some shady and underhanded practices. I was kept in their facility for a couple of days for observation and more tests, compensated for my lost wages at my job, and given a prescription to fill- something to help with the pain while my body healed. They claimed it was ‘an astounding success!’, leaving me to wonder what would have happened if they had failed?
I went about my life, checking in with them via phone once a week, which I could now call and answer by merely thinking about it, thanks to their device. I could understand hundreds of spoken languages, I could hear conversations happening through brick walls with crystal clarity, and if it ever got too much I could always just lower the settings, even mute certain frequencies. Despite their underhanded techniques and the violation of my own body, my rage in them had subsided and became some more like a perturbed annoyance. They had drugged and operated me without my knowing consent, sure, but I was beginning to come around. Hell, I would have even said I came out like a thief, definitely better off than I had been.
Then, I began having the dreams.
My dreams since they had installed this thing in my head have been so vivid. Dreams that seem so real, almost like I was awake, but not in control. Like watching yourself sleepwalk. I have vague memories and impressions when I wake up, remnants of whatever cycles my subconscious mind rolls through when I’m out. In one, I only remember being told by some authority figure that I needed to go out to the corner store and buy a certain brand of potato chips. My socks were wet when I woke up the next morning, and my blood chilled when I stepped outside only to notice that it had indeed rained the night before. When I checked my bank statement, there had been a purchase at 2:46 AM for the amount of $3.46 that I didn’t remember. Hell, I had been asleep at that time. So I WAS sleepwalking, along with sleep purchasing and god only knows what else.
They kept happening. Always single mindedly compelled to complete some seemingly menial or meaningless task. I tried sleeping pills, when that didn’t work I tried caffeine pills to stay awake. When I eventually did crash and pass out they continued. I even tried getting blind drunk, and while I don’t remember having any vivid dreams or sleepwalking episodes, my bank account and transaction history begged to differ. I guess I was just too blackout drunk to remember, but it hadn’t stopped me.
Last night was the most surreal one yet. I went to this bench out at the park a couple of blocks away. When I got there, I reached beneath it, obtaining the gun that I somehow knew would be there. That’s when everything became fuzzy. I try and try to remember what else happened, but it’s a blur of blue and scarlet. When I heard there had been a shooting that killed 2 people down the street from my place, I could see their faces in my mind before the police released the photos of the victims. They had been a couple, out for a late night rendezvous. A man of average looks and build and his sweetheart, who’s blue eyes burned holes into my soul through the TV screen as they glared at me accusingly. For an instant when their photos were on the screen, I remembered seeing those blue eyes looking at me, pleading and full of fear, and then… a scarlet plume of blood as the bullet mangled her beautiful face beyond recognition…
That was when the realization finally hit home for me. I did it. I killed that couple. Somehow, in a nocturnal venture in my slumber, I had murdered them. I thought I was going crazy! That’s not me, not something I would ever in the slightest consider, much less actually do. A piece of me died that day- my innocence, I think.
I did what any decent human being in my situation would do, I resolved to turn myself in. If somehow I was becoming some crazed maniac in my sleep, the smartest thing to do would be to turn myself in, lest I somehow manage to harm more innocent people.
I went out for a good steak dinner, probably the last decent meal I’d ever get to eat before my last meal on death row someday. It was the most delicious meal I ever remember eating. I savored every little bite. Finished with my meal, I tipped several hundred dollars to my waitress- my last good deed that I knew would never make up for the harm I had caused, the lives I had taken. I took a cab to the police station, ready to own up and meet my fate. That’s when I heard it. A voice echoing minutely in my ear.
“Don’t do it,” it said. And suddenly, I found that I couldn’t. I stood there for a long time, trying to take that step up to the door, the voice repeating the command incessantly. It commanded and I obeyed. Its hooked tendrils were sunk in deep, and I was compelled to do as it said. That voice was familiar, I realized. It was the same voice that had greeted me when I opened my door that day. The same voice I heard after the surgical implant was unwillingly installed, trespassing in my brain. The same voice of the head of research and development. The friendly voice of ToxiCorp.

I live the best part of my life online. It’s a sign of the times we live in, I guess. There are the mundane humdrum happenings that occur in our lives offline- the boring day to day droll occurrences that one can usually set their watch to, and then there’s the amazing things that we are lucky enough to witness via the screen usually glued to our hands. There’s no comparison, really. Content curated by professionals who are successful enough to have millions of followers watching every video and upvoting every hilarious meme, versus boring work and the strained relationship with our folks and loved ones? YouTube and social media wins that one in a landslide victory, in my opinion. Candy, or vegetables?
My job painting apartments is menial, lots of repetition. The only real variation is that every other apartment is mirrored opposite the ones next to it. Kitchen on the right, bathroom on the left in this one. Bathroom on the right, kitchen on the left in that one. Over and over again, ad infinitum. I dip the roller in paint, and apply it to a section of wall, dip the roller, apply it to another section of wall, over and over and over again until it’s quitting time. If I finish an apartment before it’s time to get off, there are plenty of others to move on to. Every… single… day. Six days a week.
Repetition is half of the formula to insanity, I say. One of, if not the ONLY thing that helps in keeping me sane is a decent signal on my phone and a single bluetooth earbud. Having some sort of dialog- whether that be listening to an entertaining YouTuber doing a let’s play, to channels that narrate Creepypastas- I find helps in the passage of time while working. It helps my mind wander while my body goes on autopilot, thus finding an hour long story by one of my favorite channels that I haven’t heard yet is like a gift from the content gods.
One of the longest work days I can remember was the day that my earbud fell out and landed directly in my paint bucket. I cursed the universe as I watched it sink. It happened early in the day too, so I was forced to weather the remaining six hours with nothing but my own thoughts and the sound of my paint roller smearing on the walls. I had lost the other earbud somewhere months ago, so it’s not like I had a spare one charging somewhere, and by the end of the day I resolved it by buying two brand new pairs so if something like that ever happened again, I’d have no less than three backups.
I decided to treat myself, buying a cutting edge and top of the line brand. When one uses a product for most of the day, every day, it helps to buy quality, because it’s not just at work that I use them. When I’m driving, washing dishes at home or doing household chores, or just grinding out levels on a video game, there’s always some audio going on in my ear. Listening to podcasts while I’m folding laundry, reviews for new games and movies while I’m walking the dog, ten interesting facts about *insert topic here* while I’m eating dinner. It just helps me get through my day. And my nights too, falling asleep listening to spooky stories has gotten to the point where if I forget to charge my phone or earbuds and one of them dies before I fall asleep, I might as well get back up for a bit while the battery charges.
It may sound weird to some people, trying to follow a narrative while also trying to fall asleep seems like it would be counterintuitive, but just like how some people need a fan or a TV going, there are thousands of us falling asleep to a soothing voice telling a macabre tale every night. Probably millions, given how the technology has evolved in prior years.
When I received an email saying I’d won a chance to test out the next step of that evolution, I ignored it. I hadn’t signed up for any contest or sweepstakes that I was aware of. Probably just spam, I thought. When the physical letter showed up in my mail stating the same, I took it a little more seriously, but eventually chalked it up to the spammers just being persistent. More junk mail. They got my email and were able to find an address that matched it, probably not that hard to do considering how many sites I’ve used that email to sign up for over the years. I was well aware that people leave a digital footprint, along with a treasure trove of data for advertisers and scammers alike. I always just chalked it up to the price of admission as I dropped the letter in my trash bin without even opening it. After a few weeks, all of my brushing off and ignoring what I thought was a scam culminated with a knock at my door.
“Why hello, sir. We represent ToxiCorp, and we understand that you recently purchased our product- two pairs of our Premium Earbuds?” the gentlemen asked. He was an older fellow, wearing thick coke bottle glasses and sandals. Before I could even answer though, he went on. “We’ve attempted to contact you via mail in regards to your most wisest of purchases. First off, we at the Toxi Corporation would like to sincerely thank you! And also congratulate you! You’ve won our annual November-a-thon giveaway!” he finished, taking an overdue and long breath.
That was how I found out that it wasn’t just spam. They had gotten my information when I had registered the product for the warranty, and unbeknownst to me, had thrown my name in the hat for their contest. The prizes I had to choose from included $500 cash, or free ToxiCorp earbuds for life, which included a free upgrade every time they put out a new product. While the cash offer was tempting, I decided that the latter offer would get me more bang for my buck. High end earbuds, like those made by ToxiCorp, weren’t cheap afterall. Plus, being able to upgrade and try out the latest models for free made it, in my eyes, the better of the two options.
I agreed, and after signing a plethora of documentation, not all of which I could understand and much less even read, he was on his way. Later that week they contacted me via phone about my first upgrade. It turns out, while the two pairs I had recently bought were the most expensive that my local retailer had to offer, they were by far not the most expensive and functional ones that the company offered. That first upgrade was like night and day compared to the so-called ‘top of the line’ ones I had purchased. The sound was crisper, they had better bass, a longer battery life, a further range for the bluetooth, everything about them was superior.
Then, still very much pleased with my upgraded earbuds, they contacted me about their newest pair. This pair upgraded everything, along with having noise canceling and the ability to make phone calls via a small mic inside of the earbud.
And it kept going, every month there was a new upgraded version that blew the latest one out of the water with better clarity and added functionality. My daily distractions of listening to content at work was never better. Gone were the days of bringing my phone with me from room to room as I painted, the bluetooth had crystal clear connectivity anywhere in the apartment. Hell, I could leave my phone charging in my car outside and the signal would pick up through spans of parking lots and brick walls. The snug form fitting cushion in my ear ensured that they never fell out on accident, yet wasn’t intrusive. I could go on and on, singing praise for the innovation and quality that the good people at ToxiCorp were doing with their wide line of audio products. Until that is, they hit me with their latest upgrade.
I should have known something was off when they asked me to come to their R&D department for this latest upgrade. All I was told was that this newest iteration was still in the ‘experimental’ stage of development. Previously, they had always simply mailed the newest model straight to me. I simply chalked up this break in protocol to the fact that this one was still in the prototype stage. I had already decided that whatever it was, I wanted it. I was even excited that they decided to include me in testing whatever it was that they had cooked up. Boy, was I stupid.
I arrived at their facility and was greeted by their team of engineers. They led me to a small lobby and gave me refreshments while I waited, and that was the last thing I remembered. When I woke up, I was in a recovery room with bright fluorescent lights blinding me, and a litany of rhythmically beeping medical machines monitoring my vitals. I felt groggy as hell, and as I reached up to feel why the side of my head was throbbing I felt swollen flesh molding around stitches above and behind my right ear. They said that the nausea accompanied by the dizziness I felt was normal, and conducive to the operation they performed in and around my inner ear.
I was PISSED. When my complaints and threats finally summoned the head researcher, the very same old man who had come to my door to tell me I was a ‘winner’ walked into the room.
“What the hell!? How did I get here, and what the fuck is all this about some ‘procedure’!?” I yelled. “Did you people drug me? What kind of sick operation are you people running here?”
The old man merely smiled. “Nothing that you didn’t agree to. You gave us express permission when you signed our agreement.”
“Like hell I did!” I yelled. He produced a small remote and pointed it at me, pressing a button as I continued to yell. “¡Déjame salir de aquí y llamo a mi abogado!” I threatened. What the hell? I had yelled that in english, I clearly said “Let me out of here and I’m calling my lawyer,” and I had heard the english version in my other ear, but in my right ear, the ear that was throbbing and had been operated on, I heard what I assumed was spanish.
The scientist seemed pleased at the utter confusion that sank into my facial features. “Do you speak spanish?” he asked, grinning from ear to ear. He had really said “Habla espanol?”, I heard it with my untainted ear, but I also heard the english translation clear as day with the other.
I’ll admit, even though I was still utterly pissed about the situation, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little amazed.
“What… what else can it do?” I asked, my anger subsiding slightly.
His grin grew even wider. He came closer to show me the remote. It was something akin to an old iPod looking thing. He scrolled through a plethora of menus until he selected one labeled ‘Enhance Audio’. He then pointed it in the direction of two nurses conversing behind the other side of a large glass viewing window on the other side of the room. As soon as the remote was pointing in their direction, I could hear them.
“I can’t believe that prick stood you up like that, girl!” one said.
“He’s a loser anyway, I heard from Jenny that he isn’t even all that well endowed, if you know what I mean…” the other said, holding up her pinky finger which sent both of them into a giggling fit.
“Can you hear them? How clear is the audio?” the old man asked, pulling out a clipboard and pen seemingly from nowhere.
We ran a gauntlet of tests, trying out different features and modes, dialing in and fine tuning the settings. By the time we were finished, I wasn’t even all that mad anymore. I mean, I was still a little peeved. I had been tricked and drugged and operated on without my consent, I don’t care what the gibberish in my contract said, I felt violated. BUT… after all was said and done, I couldn’t help but feel like the benefits that the new implanted device offered were more than worth some shady and underhanded practices. I was kept in their facility for a couple of days for observation and more tests, compensated for my lost wages at my job, and given a prescription to fill- something to help with the pain while my body healed. They claimed it was ‘an astounding success!’, leaving me to wonder what would have happened if they had failed?
I went about my life, checking in with them via phone once a week, which I could now call and answer by merely thinking about it, thanks to their device. I could understand hundreds of spoken languages, I could hear conversations happening through brick walls with crystal clarity, and if it ever got too much I could always just lower the settings, even mute certain frequencies. Despite their underhanded techniques and the violation of my own body, my rage in them had subsided and became some more like a perturbed annoyance. They had drugged and operated me without my knowing consent, sure, but I was beginning to come around. Hell, I would have even said I came out like a thief, definitely better off than I had been.
Then, I began having the dreams.
My dreams since they had installed this thing in my head have been so vivid. Dreams that seem so real, almost like I was awake, but not in control. Like watching yourself sleepwalk. I have vague memories and impressions when I wake up, remnants of whatever cycles my subconscious mind rolls through when I’m out. In one, I only remember being told by some authority figure that I needed to go out to the corner store and buy a certain brand of potato chips. My socks were wet when I woke up the next morning, and my blood chilled when I stepped outside only to notice that it had indeed rained the night before. When I checked my bank statement, there had been a purchase at 2:46 AM for the amount of $3.46 that I didn’t remember. Hell, I had been asleep at that time. So I WAS sleepwalking, along with sleep purchasing and god only knows what else.
They kept happening. Always single mindedly compelled to complete some seemingly menial or meaningless task. I tried sleeping pills, when that didn’t work I tried caffeine pills to stay awake. When I eventually did crash and pass out they continued. I even tried getting blind drunk, and while I don’t remember having any vivid dreams or sleepwalking episodes, my bank account and transaction history begged to differ. I guess I was just too blackout drunk to remember, but it hadn’t stopped me.
Last night was the most surreal one yet. I went to this bench out at the park a couple of blocks away. When I got there, I reached beneath it, obtaining the gun that I somehow knew would be there. That’s when everything became fuzzy. I try and try to remember what else happened, but it’s a blur of blue and scarlet. When I heard there had been a shooting that killed 2 people down the street from my place, I could see their faces in my mind before the police released the photos of the victims. They had been a couple, out for a late night rendezvous. A man of average looks and build and his sweetheart, who’s blue eyes burned holes into my soul through the TV screen as they glared at me accusingly. For an instant when their photos were on the screen, I remembered seeing those blue eyes looking at me, pleading and full of fear, and then… a scarlet plume of blood as the bullet mangled her beautiful face beyond recognition…
That was when the realization finally hit home for me. I did it. I killed that couple. Somehow, in a nocturnal venture in my slumber, I had murdered them. I thought I was going crazy! That’s not me, not something I would ever in the slightest consider, much less actually do. A piece of me died that day- my innocence, I think.
I did what any decent human being in my situation would do, I resolved to turn myself in. If somehow I was becoming some crazed maniac in my sleep, the smartest thing to do would be to turn myself in, lest I somehow manage to harm more innocent people.
I went out for a good steak dinner, probably the last decent meal I’d ever get to eat before my last meal on death row someday. It was the most delicious meal I ever remember eating. I savored every little bite. Finished with my meal, I tipped several hundred dollars to my waitress- my last good deed that I knew would never make up for the harm I had caused, the lives I had taken. I took a cab to the police station, ready to own up and meet my fate. That’s when I heard it. A voice echoing minutely in my ear.
“Don’t do it,” it said. And suddenly, I found that I couldn’t. I stood there for a long time, trying to take that step up to the door, the voice repeating the command incessantly. It commanded and I obeyed. Its hooked tendrils were sunk in deep, and I was compelled to do as it said. That voice was familiar, I realized. It was the same voice that had greeted me when I opened my door that day. The same voice I heard after the surgical implant was unwillingly installed, trespassing in my brain. The same voice of the head of research and development. The friendly voice of ToxiCorp.

I live the best part of my life online. It’s a sign of the times we live in, I guess. There are the mundane humdrum happenings that occur in our lives offline- the boring day to day droll occurrences that one can usually set their watch to, and then there’s the amazing things that we are lucky enough to witness via the screen usually glued to our hands. There’s no comparison, really. Content curated by professionals who are successful enough to have millions of followers watching every video and upvoting every hilarious meme, versus boring work and the strained relationship with our folks and loved ones? YouTube and social media wins that one in a landslide victory, in my opinion. Candy, or vegetables?
My job painting apartments is menial, lots of repetition. The only real variation is that every other apartment is mirrored opposite the ones next to it. Kitchen on the right, bathroom on the left in this one. Bathroom on the right, kitchen on the left in that one. Over and over again, ad infinitum. I dip the roller in paint, and apply it to a section of wall, dip the roller, apply it to another section of wall, over and over and over again until it’s quitting time. If I finish an apartment before it’s time to get off, there are plenty of others to move on to. Every… single… day. Six days a week.
Repetition is half of the formula to insanity, I say. One of, if not the ONLY thing that helps in keeping me sane is a decent signal on my phone and a single bluetooth earbud. Having some sort of dialog- whether that be listening to an entertaining YouTuber doing a let’s play, to channels that narrate Creepypastas- I find helps in the passage of time while working. It helps my mind wander while my body goes on autopilot, thus finding an hour long story by one of my favorite channels that I haven’t heard yet is like a gift from the content gods.
One of the longest work days I can remember was the day that my earbud fell out and landed directly in my paint bucket. I cursed the universe as I watched it sink. It happened early in the day too, so I was forced to weather the remaining six hours with nothing but my own thoughts and the sound of my paint roller smearing on the walls. I had lost the other earbud somewhere months ago, so it’s not like I had a spare one charging somewhere, and by the end of the day I resolved it by buying two brand new pairs so if something like that ever happened again, I’d have no less than three backups.
I decided to treat myself, buying a cutting edge and top of the line brand. When one uses a product for most of the day, every day, it helps to buy quality, because it’s not just at work that I use them. When I’m driving, washing dishes at home or doing household chores, or just grinding out levels on a video game, there’s always some audio going on in my ear. Listening to podcasts while I’m folding laundry, reviews for new games and movies while I’m walking the dog, ten interesting facts about *insert topic here* while I’m eating dinner. It just helps me get through my day. And my nights too, falling asleep listening to spooky stories has gotten to the point where if I forget to charge my phone or earbuds and one of them dies before I fall asleep, I might as well get back up for a bit while the battery charges.
It may sound weird to some people, trying to follow a narrative while also trying to fall asleep seems like it would be counterintuitive, but just like how some people need a fan or a TV going, there are thousands of us falling asleep to a soothing voice telling a macabre tale every night. Probably millions, given how the technology has evolved in prior years.
When I received an email saying I’d won a chance to test out the next step of that evolution, I ignored it. I hadn’t signed up for any contest or sweepstakes that I was aware of. Probably just spam, I thought. When the physical letter showed up in my mail stating the same, I took it a little more seriously, but eventually chalked it up to the spammers just being persistent. More junk mail. They got my email and were able to find an address that matched it, probably not that hard to do considering how many sites I’ve used that email to sign up for over the years. I was well aware that people leave a digital footprint, along with a treasure trove of data for advertisers and scammers alike. I always just chalked it up to the price of admission as I dropped the letter in my trash bin without even opening it. After a few weeks, all of my brushing off and ignoring what I thought was a scam culminated with a knock at my door.
“Why hello, sir. We represent ToxiCorp, and we understand that you recently purchased our product- two pairs of our Premium Earbuds?” the gentlemen asked. He was an older fellow, wearing thick coke bottle glasses and sandals. Before I could even answer though, he went on. “We’ve attempted to contact you via mail in regards to your most wisest of purchases. First off, we at the Toxi Corporation would like to sincerely thank you! And also congratulate you! You’ve won our annual November-a-thon giveaway!” he finished, taking an overdue and long breath.
That was how I found out that it wasn’t just spam. They had gotten my information when I had registered the product for the warranty, and unbeknownst to me, had thrown my name in the hat for their contest. The prizes I had to choose from included $500 cash, or free ToxiCorp earbuds for life, which included a free upgrade every time they put out a new product. While the cash offer was tempting, I decided that the latter offer would get me more bang for my buck. High end earbuds, like those made by ToxiCorp, weren’t cheap afterall. Plus, being able to upgrade and try out the latest models for free made it, in my eyes, the better of the two options.
I agreed, and after signing a plethora of documentation, not all of which I could understand and much less even read, he was on his way. Later that week they contacted me via phone about my first upgrade. It turns out, while the two pairs I had recently bought were the most expensive that my local retailer had to offer, they were by far not the most expensive and functional ones that the company offered. That first upgrade was like night and day compared to the so-called ‘top of the line’ ones I had purchased. The sound was crisper, they had better bass, a longer battery life, a further range for the bluetooth, everything about them was superior.
Then, still very much pleased with my upgraded earbuds, they contacted me about their newest pair. This pair upgraded everything, along with having noise canceling and the ability to make phone calls via a small mic inside of the earbud.
And it kept going, every month there was a new upgraded version that blew the latest one out of the water with better clarity and added functionality. My daily distractions of listening to content at work was never better. Gone were the days of bringing my phone with me from room to room as I painted, the bluetooth had crystal clear connectivity anywhere in the apartment. Hell, I could leave my phone charging in my car outside and the signal would pick up through spans of parking lots and brick walls. The snug form fitting cushion in my ear ensured that they never fell out on accident, yet wasn’t intrusive. I could go on and on, singing praise for the innovation and quality that the good people at ToxiCorp were doing with their wide line of audio products. Until that is, they hit me with their latest upgrade.
I should have known something was off when they asked me to come to their R&D department for this latest upgrade. All I was told was that this newest iteration was still in the ‘experimental’ stage of development. Previously, they had always simply mailed the newest model straight to me. I simply chalked up this break in protocol to the fact that this one was still in the prototype stage. I had already decided that whatever it was, I wanted it. I was even excited that they decided to include me in testing whatever it was that they had cooked up. Boy, was I stupid.
I arrived at their facility and was greeted by their team of engineers. They led me to a small lobby and gave me refreshments while I waited, and that was the last thing I remembered. When I woke up, I was in a recovery room with bright fluorescent lights blinding me, and a litany of rhythmically beeping medical machines monitoring my vitals. I felt groggy as hell, and as I reached up to feel why the side of my head was throbbing I felt swollen flesh molding around stitches above and behind my right ear. They said that the nausea accompanied by the dizziness I felt was normal, and conducive to the operation they performed in and around my inner ear.
I was PISSED. When my complaints and threats finally summoned the head researcher, the very same old man who had come to my door to tell me I was a ‘winner’ walked into the room.
“What the hell!? How did I get here, and what the fuck is all this about some ‘procedure’!?” I yelled. “Did you people drug me? What kind of sick operation are you people running here?”
The old man merely smiled. “Nothing that you didn’t agree to. You gave us express permission when you signed our agreement.”
“Like hell I did!” I yelled. He produced a small remote and pointed it at me, pressing a button as I continued to yell. “¡Déjame salir de aquí y llamo a mi abogado!” I threatened. What the hell? I had yelled that in english, I clearly said “Let me out of here and I’m calling my lawyer,” and I had heard the english version in my other ear, but in my right ear, the ear that was throbbing and had been operated on, I heard what I assumed was spanish.
The scientist seemed pleased at the utter confusion that sank into my facial features. “Do you speak spanish?” he asked, grinning from ear to ear. He had really said “Habla espanol?”, I heard it with my untainted ear, but I also heard the english translation clear as day with the other.
I’ll admit, even though I was still utterly pissed about the situation, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little amazed.
“What… what else can it do?” I asked, my anger subsiding slightly.
His grin grew even wider. He came closer to show me the remote. It was something akin to an old iPod looking thing. He scrolled through a plethora of menus until he selected one labeled ‘Enhance Audio’. He then pointed it in the direction of two nurses conversing behind the other side of a large glass viewing window on the other side of the room. As soon as the remote was pointing in their direction, I could hear them.
“I can’t believe that prick stood you up like that, girl!” one said.
“He’s a loser anyway, I heard from Jenny that he isn’t even all that well endowed, if you know what I mean…” the other said, holding up her pinky finger which sent both of them into a giggling fit.
“Can you hear them? How clear is the audio?” the old man asked, pulling out a clipboard and pen seemingly from nowhere.
We ran a gauntlet of tests, trying out different features and modes, dialing in and fine tuning the settings. By the time we were finished, I wasn’t even all that mad anymore. I mean, I was still a little peeved. I had been tricked and drugged and operated on without my consent, I don’t care what the gibberish in my contract said, I felt violated. BUT… after all was said and done, I couldn’t help but feel like the benefits that the new implanted device offered were more than worth some shady and underhanded practices. I was kept in their facility for a couple of days for observation and more tests, compensated for my lost wages at my job, and given a prescription to fill- something to help with the pain while my body healed. They claimed it was ‘an astounding success!’, leaving me to wonder what would have happened if they had failed?
I went about my life, checking in with them via phone once a week, which I could now call and answer by merely thinking about it, thanks to their device. I could understand hundreds of spoken languages, I could hear conversations happening through brick walls with crystal clarity, and if it ever got too much I could always just lower the settings, even mute certain frequencies. Despite their underhanded techniques and the violation of my own body, my rage in them had subsided and became some more like a perturbed annoyance. They had drugged and operated me without my knowing consent, sure, but I was beginning to come around. Hell, I would have even said I came out like a thief, definitely better off than I had been.
Then, I began having the dreams.
My dreams since they had installed this thing in my head have been so vivid. Dreams that seem so real, almost like I was awake, but not in control. Like watching yourself sleepwalk. I have vague memories and impressions when I wake up, remnants of whatever cycles my subconscious mind rolls through when I’m out. In one, I only remember being told by some authority figure that I needed to go out to the corner store and buy a certain brand of potato chips. My socks were wet when I woke up the next morning, and my blood chilled when I stepped outside only to notice that it had indeed rained the night before. When I checked my bank statement, there had been a purchase at 2:46 AM for the amount of $3.46 that I didn’t remember. Hell, I had been asleep at that time. So I WAS sleepwalking, along with sleep purchasing and god only knows what else.
They kept happening. Always single mindedly compelled to complete some seemingly menial or meaningless task. I tried sleeping pills, when that didn’t work I tried caffeine pills to stay awake. When I eventually did crash and pass out they continued. I even tried getting blind drunk, and while I don’t remember having any vivid dreams or sleepwalking episodes, my bank account and transaction history begged to differ. I guess I was just too blackout drunk to remember, but it hadn’t stopped me.
Last night was the most surreal one yet. I went to this bench out at the park a couple of blocks away. When I got there, I reached beneath it, obtaining the gun that I somehow knew would be there. That’s when everything became fuzzy. I try and try to remember what else happened, but it’s a blur of blue and scarlet. When I heard there had been a shooting that killed 2 people down the street from my place, I could see their faces in my mind before the police released the photos of the victims. They had been a couple, out for a late night rendezvous. A man of average looks and build and his sweetheart, who’s blue eyes burned holes into my soul through the TV screen as they glared at me accusingly. For an instant when their photos were on the screen, I remembered seeing those blue eyes looking at me, pleading and full of fear, and then… a scarlet plume of blood as the bullet mangled her beautiful face beyond recognition…
That was when the realization finally hit home for me. I did it. I killed that couple. Somehow, in a nocturnal venture in my slumber, I had murdered them. I thought I was going crazy! That’s not me, not something I would ever in the slightest consider, much less actually do. A piece of me died that day- my innocence, I think.
I did what any decent human being in my situation would do, I resolved to turn myself in. If somehow I was becoming some crazed maniac in my sleep, the smartest thing to do would be to turn myself in, lest I somehow manage to harm more innocent people.
I went out for a good steak dinner, probably the last decent meal I’d ever get to eat before my last meal on death row someday. It was the most delicious meal I ever remember eating. I savored every little bite. Finished with my meal, I tipped several hundred dollars to my waitress- my last good deed that I knew would never make up for the harm I had caused, the lives I had taken. I took a cab to the police station, ready to own up and meet my fate. That’s when I heard it. A voice echoing minutely in my ear.
“Don’t do it,” it said. And suddenly, I found that I couldn’t. I stood there for a long time, trying to take that step up to the door, the voice repeating the command incessantly. It commanded and I obeyed. Its hooked tendrils were sunk in deep, and I was compelled to do as it said. That voice was familiar, I realized. It was the same voice that had greeted me when I opened my door that day. The same voice I heard after the surgical implant was unwillingly installed, trespassing in my brain. The same voice of the head of research and development. The friendly voice of ToxiCorp.