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Cursed Rulers: Parallels Between Auberon & Emhyr
2023.03.26 13:10 varJoshik Cursed Rulers: Parallels Between Auberon & Emhyr
Final part in the series about the mirroring act between the three Aen Elle elves & their Continental counterparts. Previous works: Black Knights: Parallels Between Eredin & Cahir Love(less) Sorcerers: Parallels Between Avallac'h & Vilgefortz
“Emperors rule their empires, but two things they cannot rule: their hearts and their time. Those two things belong to the empire.”
“The end justifies the means.”
Leaders of the highest order for their people, both rulers pursue the greater good at the expense of decency and their own humanity. A greater good to be achieved through similar means – by begetting the child who is prophesised.
Notionally, both rulers bind their actions with Ithlinne’s prophecy. The problem with prophecies is they decouple arguments from verification, lending themselves to the rationalization of all and any action. At least insofar as knowing the future accurately is impossible. This is the case for humanity, it is not the case for elves. Elven prophecies were made by the elves and for the elves in the first place. Consequently, the degree to which each ruler knows the prophecy to be true and believes in it differs. For Emhyr, mystical secret knowledge of the universe is irrelevant in comparison to political expedience: reason of state is what the tomorrow will bring. The Nilfgaardian Emperor is neither a mystic nor a fatalist. Contrary to the Alder King – a Sage, a ruler, and an elder – who has witnessed and likely verified some of what the Seers have prophesised. Elves conceive of the nature of time as cyclical in which the fate of things is tied up in the endless repetition of endings giving birth to new beginnings, the dance of attraction between life and death, two sides of the same coin which form the singular eternal truth of existence – change is only an eternal reoccurrence and re-arrangement of all. Auberon, you see, is a bit of a mystic. And even without Seers privy to secret knowledge, an extraordinary life span reduces the elves’ proclivity to black swan fallacy, or at least pushes the error probabilities. But at the end of the day, mysticism takes the cake.
The idea that either ruler must be the progenitor, however, comes at the instigation of an outside force.
Shortly after Ciri’s birth Emhyr is visited by a sorcerer. Emhyr has a strong aversion to mages; he was cursed by one. Even so, Vilgefortz proves himself capable of helping him regain the Nilfgaardian throne and is straightforward about what he wishes in exchange – gratitude, favours, privileges, power. Vilgefortz tells Emhyr about Ithlinne’s prophecy – a version about the fate of the world; a human interpretation. Then he plants the seed as to what Emhyr should do to steer the fate of this world. Naturally, he has his own agenda. It is not a huge leap of imagination to conceive of Auberon having been similarly persuaded by Avallac’h (an elven Knowing One who thematically parallels the human Vilgefortz). Not only are Avallac’h and Auberon tied by broken familial bonds, they are each a participant of the Elder Blood programme; and each, a Sage. Avallac’h serves nearly as a double for Auberon, his own fate also tied with Ciri’s. And Auberon is a “willing unwilling” in his arrangement with Ciri; implied so in his rage when he reveals Ciri ought to be grateful to him for lowering himself to the endeavour at all. There is an alternative.
Neither the Emperor nor the Alder King is pursuing the incestuous course of action out of lust. But both have the option to waive being the sire. Ithlinne’s prophecy is not explicit about the father of the Swallow’s child. For elves the match is backed by science. For humanity – pragmatism.
Emhyr has ordered to wipe out the Usurper’s name from the annals of history and is cementing his earthly power, conquering and ensuring the succession laws play out in his favour. Not only is he legitimatizing his rule over Cintra – the gateway to the North – by marrying its last monarch’s granddaughter, by keeping it in the family, he is also consolidating his rule among the Nilfgaardian aristocracy. The Emperor’s concern lies with the dynastic struggle for power: it is his blood that should rule the world and because history is bending its arc according to Nilfgaard’s dictation that means surmounting the Nilfgaardian succession laws. From such perspective, not fathering Ciri’s child would create numerous problems. Ciri as Emhyr’s heir would remain behind any other male offspring he might have (with any Nilfgaardian aristocrat). Ciri might not be acknowledged as a legitimate successor in Nilfgaard in the first place as she is a foreigner, born in Cintra at a time when her father was not yet an emperor; a bastard, effectively, and a girl besides. Ciri’s husband, moreover, may have designs on power himself and his remaining under Emhyr’s control, or Ciri’s control, is not a guarantee. It is difficult to be the correctly-shaped chess piece in a game of interests of the state. That a widely recited prophecy about the fate of the world can lend an aura of destiny to the brutal political machinations undertaken to seek retribution and pursue earthly power is convenient; a descendant who will be the ruler of the world – a bonus. But to get there sacrifices must be made.
Elder Blood is the creation of elves and it is elves who understand how their genetic abilities play into handling what was foretold by Ithlinne. Emhyr’s daughter, the Lady of Time and Space, is the descendant of an Alder King who has utilized Hen Ichaer in the past and whose ambitions lie in an altogether different ball park than that of an Emperor of one single world. Appropriately to the Saga’s love for subversion, it is ironic that human understanding of elven prophecies remains on the level of poetry, while elves – the irritatingly poetic, mystical species – can read the science elevating the prophetic jargon into something more. Which regardless does not invalidate the problem with prophecies: they lend themselves to the rationalization of action, frequently covering up the real horses the powerful might have in the race. Legitimatization of the ruler’s right to remain the leader of their people is relevant in Auberon’s life too. More on that when we return to the Fisher King parable and the nature of curses upon the two rulers.
Appearance: a play of contrasts
A very tall, slender elf with long fingers and ashen hair shot with snow-white streaks. An elf with the most extraordinary eyes – as on all Elder Blood carriers – reminiscent of molten lead. A man with black, shiny, wavy hair bordering an angular, masculine face that is dominated by a prominent nose (hooked, presumably, or Roman if you like). The Emperor of Nilfgaard does not resemble an androgynous elf by any means. But this does not mean nothing remains in him of the elven gene pool. Not only does Emhyr’s etymological origin link with the Romano-Celtic world underpinning all things elven in the Witcher. Nilfgaardians are effectively the Romano-Brytons. The human population in the South of the Continent mixed with elves heavily, retaining a lot of elven law, customs, language, and DNA. As Avallac’h says about heritability, “the father matters,” and Emhyr was one half of the equation for getting Ciri.
Rex Regum - King of Kings
The readers are probably more familiar with the imperial system and how that features in the depiction of Nilfgaard. Auberon Muircetach’s position as the Supreme Leader of the Aen Elle – as opposed to merely a “king” – is instead much more reminiscent of the station of a High King.
Ancient and early kingdoms of Great Britain and Ireland boast many High Kings (e.g. Ard Rí Érenn Brian Boru, Ard Rí Alban Macbeth, Vortigern, King of the Britons, etc). The High King was usually elected and set above lesser rulers and warlords as an overlord in a land that shared a high degree of cultural unity. Emperors usually ruled over culturally different lands (regularly obtained through recent or ongoing conquests). In character such high kingship was sacred: the duties of the ruler were largely ceremonial and somewhat restricted, unless war, natural disaster or any other realm-wide occasion created a need for a unified command structure. The Irish High King, for example, was quite straightforwardly a ruler who laid claim to all of the land of the Emerald Isle. Noteworthy, because the ruler is frequently seen as the embodiment of the land, associated with the health and well-being of the realm that the land sustains. In quasi-religious terms, High Kings gained their power through a marriage to, or sexual relationship with, a sovereignty goddess; frequently, a mother goddess who was associated with the life-giving land. As one of the most frequently studied elements of the Celtic cosmology, this feature is instantly recognisable in the outlook of the elves in the Witcher and factors heavily into Auberon’s relationship with Ciri. Ciri who is the avatar of the Triple Goddess – the Virgin, the Pregnant Mother, and the Old Woman Death. As Sapkowski notes in Swiat króla Artura. Maladie:
(But Ciri is also the witcher girl and owns a sword, unyielding before the matter of her gender. And though many a men might take her for the Lady of the Lake, she is not about to part with her sword.)
The realm is all
From early age, Emhyr’s father instilled an understanding in his heir that nothing counts more than the interest of the state. The blood of the Emreis family must be on the throne. Fergus never abdicated, not after torture, not even after his son was turned into a mutant hedgehog in front of his eyes. Love for his child did not sway Fergus from having his son suffer in the interests of power and the realm. This is how the shard of ice in Emhyr’s heart forms. Auberon, equally, “thinks of England” when attempting to regain his daughter’s legacy and restore their people’s power. The circumstances of Lara’s demise, however, beg the question about the Alder King’s role in facilitating or enabling the conditions that let things spiral out of control and break beyond repair. The stakes were infinitely higher for Auberon than they are for Emreis’ dynastic struggle. But what would an answer to this question change? In their cold hearts these characters see themselves each as duty-bound.
Ambitious and gloried, they nevertheless occupy different stages in their lives.
Emhyr’s ambition burns bright and fresh. Auberon’s has dwindled into a shadow of the past; buried under having witnessed and lived through the sacrifices that a ruler makes in the name of power. Emhyr chooses to seek retribution and power beyond what would befall him should he accept his life as Duny (the cursed, pitiful Duny), the prince consort of Cintra. Never losing sight of his goal, love and human happiness become temporary phases and means to an end, and Emhyr returns to Cintra only in the form of flames and death to pursue his daughter in insane ambition. The White Flame retains an active disposition; a lust for life. Neither Emhyr nor Auberon gallop at the head of their armies though, leading instead from the rear. They have lackeys for carrying out their will remotely (e.g. Cahir and Eredin). Emhyr, however, is said to be otherwise highly involved in the ruling of his empire, even if many revolutionaries who had helped him on the throne had hoped he would remain but a banner of the revolution. In contrast, the Alder King has more or less withdrawn from life and active service. In presence of Avallac’h and Eredin, Auberon appears much more like the standard Emhyr had refused to become. Of course, many decisions the equivalent of which Auberon has already made are still ahead of Emhyr, including as concerns the freedom of his daughter.
A ruler’s heart
Did Emhyr believe that he would be able to see Pavetta in Ciri and thus push through with the incest? Did Auberon hope to glance the memory of his wife in the eyes of Lara’s “daughter” and manage in this way? As already noted, neither ruler is pursuing their plans out of lust, but as lust must be induced for the act to bear fruit I cannot help but wonder what these characters must do to themselves to follow through with their plans. Because the love that is called for between a woman and a man in order for new life and hope to be born is in this instance abnormal. Yet it is undoubtedly love that plays a huge role in determining both Emhyr’s and Auberon’s eventual fate.
Until the emergence of false-Ciri, Emhyr var Emreis is said to have had numerous ladies in the imperial court. Little is known about Auberon’s disposition, but by the time Ciri starts frequenting his bed chamber it has become evident the image of a dowager king fits the elf like a glove; disaffected with romantic dalliance, he is still aware of the courtly intrigue and expectations surrounding it.
When Ciri was six years old, Emhyr took a lock of hair from her and held onto it; out of sentiment and for his court sorcerers to use. One of Auberon’s last lines to Ciri involves tying a loose ribbon back into Lara’s hair.
In regard to their brides-to-be, both rulers are saddled with fakes. A fake Ciri-Pavetta and a fake Shiadhal-Lara. But Emhyr’s and Auberon’s attitude toward the fake is diametrically opposite. Emhyr sees false-Cirilla as “a diamond in the rough.” Auberon calls Ciri “a pearl in pig shit, a diamond on the finger of a rotting corpse.” For Emhyr, a diamond is the essence of his poor peasant girl. While a pearl in pig shit, for Auberon, remains the essence of Ciri. Neither ruler can entirely ignore the social vigilance extended toward the ruler’s bedchamber either. The idea of a “foreign bride” is frowned upon among the Nilfgaardian aristocracy; it decreases their ability to influence the Emperor. Ciri’s social status at Tir ná Lia is never explicitly addressed, but the presence of human servants – all of whom that the reader sees are female – and casual xenophobia from Auberon himself does not make it hard to venture a guess.
In their last meeting with the girl, both rulers implicitly reveal their blood relation to Ciri.
There are two ways in which to interpret the way Sapkowski applies the legend of the Snow Queen in the Saga. First, as a complement to the author’s stance that in life - where most things are shit - the Holy Grail is a woman, because it is the love of a woman and the hope a woman instils that often makes men act in inconceivable ways; love is the great motivator and the great balancer of scales. Almost as powerful as death. Or more so?
Secondly, we can interpret the legend in universal terms: the shard of ice is the definitive experience of our lives which distorts reality and makes the rest of our lives spin around it in one way or another. For Emhyr, such an experience could have been the trauma experienced in his youth. Fergus’ uncompromising death conditioned the boy early on to sacrifice personal feelings to the cause and let the only true feeling in his heart remain forever locked behind the ends a ruler must go to unthinkable lengths to achieve. Fergus did not deem his son above suffering for a cause and the son learned the lesson. Until…
In Andersen’s Snow Queen, Gerda manages to find her brother Kai in the Snow Queen’s castle, but despite her calls his heart remains cold as ice. Only when Gerda cries in despair do her tears finally melt the ice and remove the piece of glass from Kai’s eyes and heart. In the Witcher, the shard in Emhyr’s heart moves first upon witnessing his true daughter’s angry tears. For the second time – in thanks to the bogus princess of Cintra; his poor raison d’etat.
It brings us to the defining contrast in Emhyr’s and Auberon’s stories, and it concerns alleviating the suffering of those are bound to you by blood or love.
Recalling another case of incest that resulted in Adda the strigga, we may remember that the Temerian king recognises that his daughter is suffering and insists on disenchanting her instead of killing her. Realising that your own blood – who has been thrown into this world of suffering thanks to you – is suffering and consequently choosing to do something to alleviate this suffering fortifies the Saga’s faith in enduring human decency. Geralt himself is thoroughly vexed by the prospect of letting the same evil happen to Ciri that happened to himself and does everything within his power to prevent it (failing, trying anyway). Here lives the redemption of man, and in redemption his rebirth.
In a sense, False-Cirilla and Emhyr get the ending Ciri and Auberon might have gotten if –
If.
The story of Auberon Muircetach achieves a fundamentally different resolution.
As already witnessed by way of the legend of the Winter Queen, the original “myths” of the Witcher world usually originate among elves; humans, the interlopers, push themselves into those myths only later. This creates an interesting conundrum. In Parsifal, the Fisher King is injured as punishment for taking a wife who is not meant for him. A Grail keeper is to marry the woman the Grail determines for him, which – if we equate woman with the Grail – is what the woman determines. Unfortunately, we know nothing about Shiadhal, so we cannot verify if this part of the legend dovetails. But generally, in a wholly elven world which may have matriarchal tendencies, in lieu of worshipping the mother Goddess, such cosmology is relatively unproblematic. Except suddenly there are humans too. And Auberon – the highest leader of elves and the father of the new scion of Elder Blood – is indirectly injured because a human sorcerer – Cregennan – turns himself into a Grail keeper (in place of another, special elf) by taking a woman not meant for him.
I see two possibilities. It could be that Auberon in his ambition hastened his daughter’s way into exile and, in a display of his displeasure, never made any effort to ease his daughter in to the personal sacrifices they, as Aen Saevherne, must make; walking without blinking to the end of the path Emhyr turned away from. It could equally be that Auberon, instead of locking Lara up in a tower to protect her from the folly of youth, let her go to Cregennan. It could be an amalgam of both, and the misjudgement of a father who allows freedom, who feels for his child, and is rewarded with an irreversible injury is probably the greater tragedy.
Because, regardless of the origin of the curse upon Auberon, one thing does not change – the icy eternity in the Alder King’s heart never fractures.
That is the hope and the release.
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“Emperors rule their empires, but two things they cannot rule: their hearts and their time. Those two things belong to the empire.”
“The end justifies the means.”
Leaders of the highest order for their people, both rulers pursue the greater good at the expense of decency and their own humanity. A greater good to be achieved through similar means – by begetting the child who is prophesised.
Intent
In the Witcher, both Auberon and Emhyr are embroiled in a plot of siring the child of prophecy with Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon – their blood relative. Genetically, the incest is a matter of degree: Emhyr is Ciri’s biological father, Auberon Ciri’s ancestor 8 generations past. Symbolically, however, the degree collapses with Auberon because a few human generations are meaningless to elves. They call Ciri Lara’s daughter, effectively deeming Ciri Auberon’s granddaughter. But the reader – not unlike Ciri herself – won’t know about this until the very end of the tale.Notionally, both rulers bind their actions with Ithlinne’s prophecy. The problem with prophecies is they decouple arguments from verification, lending themselves to the rationalization of all and any action. At least insofar as knowing the future accurately is impossible. This is the case for humanity, it is not the case for elves. Elven prophecies were made by the elves and for the elves in the first place. Consequently, the degree to which each ruler knows the prophecy to be true and believes in it differs. For Emhyr, mystical secret knowledge of the universe is irrelevant in comparison to political expedience: reason of state is what the tomorrow will bring. The Nilfgaardian Emperor is neither a mystic nor a fatalist. Contrary to the Alder King – a Sage, a ruler, and an elder – who has witnessed and likely verified some of what the Seers have prophesised. Elves conceive of the nature of time as cyclical in which the fate of things is tied up in the endless repetition of endings giving birth to new beginnings, the dance of attraction between life and death, two sides of the same coin which form the singular eternal truth of existence – change is only an eternal reoccurrence and re-arrangement of all. Auberon, you see, is a bit of a mystic. And even without Seers privy to secret knowledge, an extraordinary life span reduces the elves’ proclivity to black swan fallacy, or at least pushes the error probabilities. But at the end of the day, mysticism takes the cake.
The idea that either ruler must be the progenitor, however, comes at the instigation of an outside force.
Shortly after Ciri’s birth Emhyr is visited by a sorcerer. Emhyr has a strong aversion to mages; he was cursed by one. Even so, Vilgefortz proves himself capable of helping him regain the Nilfgaardian throne and is straightforward about what he wishes in exchange – gratitude, favours, privileges, power. Vilgefortz tells Emhyr about Ithlinne’s prophecy – a version about the fate of the world; a human interpretation. Then he plants the seed as to what Emhyr should do to steer the fate of this world. Naturally, he has his own agenda. It is not a huge leap of imagination to conceive of Auberon having been similarly persuaded by Avallac’h (an elven Knowing One who thematically parallels the human Vilgefortz). Not only are Avallac’h and Auberon tied by broken familial bonds, they are each a participant of the Elder Blood programme; and each, a Sage. Avallac’h serves nearly as a double for Auberon, his own fate also tied with Ciri’s. And Auberon is a “willing unwilling” in his arrangement with Ciri; implied so in his rage when he reveals Ciri ought to be grateful to him for lowering himself to the endeavour at all. There is an alternative.
Neither the Emperor nor the Alder King is pursuing the incestuous course of action out of lust. But both have the option to waive being the sire. Ithlinne’s prophecy is not explicit about the father of the Swallow’s child. For elves the match is backed by science. For humanity – pragmatism.
Emhyr has ordered to wipe out the Usurper’s name from the annals of history and is cementing his earthly power, conquering and ensuring the succession laws play out in his favour. Not only is he legitimatizing his rule over Cintra – the gateway to the North – by marrying its last monarch’s granddaughter, by keeping it in the family, he is also consolidating his rule among the Nilfgaardian aristocracy. The Emperor’s concern lies with the dynastic struggle for power: it is his blood that should rule the world and because history is bending its arc according to Nilfgaard’s dictation that means surmounting the Nilfgaardian succession laws. From such perspective, not fathering Ciri’s child would create numerous problems. Ciri as Emhyr’s heir would remain behind any other male offspring he might have (with any Nilfgaardian aristocrat). Ciri might not be acknowledged as a legitimate successor in Nilfgaard in the first place as she is a foreigner, born in Cintra at a time when her father was not yet an emperor; a bastard, effectively, and a girl besides. Ciri’s husband, moreover, may have designs on power himself and his remaining under Emhyr’s control, or Ciri’s control, is not a guarantee. It is difficult to be the correctly-shaped chess piece in a game of interests of the state. That a widely recited prophecy about the fate of the world can lend an aura of destiny to the brutal political machinations undertaken to seek retribution and pursue earthly power is convenient; a descendant who will be the ruler of the world – a bonus. But to get there sacrifices must be made.
‘Cirilla,’ continued the emperor, ‘will be happy, like most of the queens I was talking about. It will come with time. Cirilla will transfer the love that I do not demand at all onto the son I will beget with her. An archduke, and later an emperor. An emperor who will beget a son. A son, who will be the ruler of the world and will save the world from destruction. Thus speaks the prophecy whose exact contents only I know.’ ’What I am doing, I am doing for posterity. To save the world.’ - Lady of the LakeNotably, the manner in which the Emperor claims to understand Ithlinne’s prophecy does not make guarantees that a father’s incest with his daughter will ensure his progeny will one day save the world. The saviour is a few generations away and the causal arrow between now and then is not direct: the son could die, could father a child with a genetically non-fitting partner, could be sterile, or could turn out to be a daughter altogether. Not to even begin with what the world needs saving from in the first place; again, elven prophecies were written by the elves and for the elves. Emhyr var Emreis is neither an elf, a geneticist, an idealist nor a mystic. He is an autocrat.
Elder Blood is the creation of elves and it is elves who understand how their genetic abilities play into handling what was foretold by Ithlinne. Emhyr’s daughter, the Lady of Time and Space, is the descendant of an Alder King who has utilized Hen Ichaer in the past and whose ambitions lie in an altogether different ball park than that of an Emperor of one single world. Appropriately to the Saga’s love for subversion, it is ironic that human understanding of elven prophecies remains on the level of poetry, while elves – the irritatingly poetic, mystical species – can read the science elevating the prophetic jargon into something more. Which regardless does not invalidate the problem with prophecies: they lend themselves to the rationalization of action, frequently covering up the real horses the powerful might have in the race. Legitimatization of the ruler’s right to remain the leader of their people is relevant in Auberon’s life too. More on that when we return to the Fisher King parable and the nature of curses upon the two rulers.
Role & Relationships
Let’s take a look at the characters’ personalities.Appearance: a play of contrasts
A very tall, slender elf with long fingers and ashen hair shot with snow-white streaks. An elf with the most extraordinary eyes – as on all Elder Blood carriers – reminiscent of molten lead. A man with black, shiny, wavy hair bordering an angular, masculine face that is dominated by a prominent nose (hooked, presumably, or Roman if you like). The Emperor of Nilfgaard does not resemble an androgynous elf by any means. But this does not mean nothing remains in him of the elven gene pool. Not only does Emhyr’s etymological origin link with the Romano-Celtic world underpinning all things elven in the Witcher. Nilfgaardians are effectively the Romano-Brytons. The human population in the South of the Continent mixed with elves heavily, retaining a lot of elven law, customs, language, and DNA. As Avallac’h says about heritability, “the father matters,” and Emhyr was one half of the equation for getting Ciri.
Rex Regum - King of Kings
The readers are probably more familiar with the imperial system and how that features in the depiction of Nilfgaard. Auberon Muircetach’s position as the Supreme Leader of the Aen Elle – as opposed to merely a “king” – is instead much more reminiscent of the station of a High King.
Ancient and early kingdoms of Great Britain and Ireland boast many High Kings (e.g. Ard Rí Érenn Brian Boru, Ard Rí Alban Macbeth, Vortigern, King of the Britons, etc). The High King was usually elected and set above lesser rulers and warlords as an overlord in a land that shared a high degree of cultural unity. Emperors usually ruled over culturally different lands (regularly obtained through recent or ongoing conquests). In character such high kingship was sacred: the duties of the ruler were largely ceremonial and somewhat restricted, unless war, natural disaster or any other realm-wide occasion created a need for a unified command structure. The Irish High King, for example, was quite straightforwardly a ruler who laid claim to all of the land of the Emerald Isle. Noteworthy, because the ruler is frequently seen as the embodiment of the land, associated with the health and well-being of the realm that the land sustains. In quasi-religious terms, High Kings gained their power through a marriage to, or sexual relationship with, a sovereignty goddess; frequently, a mother goddess who was associated with the life-giving land. As one of the most frequently studied elements of the Celtic cosmology, this feature is instantly recognisable in the outlook of the elves in the Witcher and factors heavily into Auberon’s relationship with Ciri. Ciri who is the avatar of the Triple Goddess – the Virgin, the Pregnant Mother, and the Old Woman Death. As Sapkowski notes in Swiat króla Artura. Maladie:
“…no Wiccan mystery in honour of the Great Triple, cannot be performed, [without] the goblet and the sword. Grail and Excalibur. The rest is silence.”Through the Triple Goddess’ interaction with her God-counterpart (a ruler who briefly assumes the role of the god) is showcased the eternal cycle of life – one which cannot be realised without the interaction of the cup (feminine) & the sword (male). Excalibur is the symbol of rightful sovereignty and its wielders are frequently powerful men, but Ciri is a woman and a woman is the Grail, bringing salvation and new life. To possess the Grail is to legitimize oneself as the ruler, as the leader, protector, and father figure of the realm. Thus a King of Kings must do exactly that. A protector, a father figure, and a druid (wise man) merge into a symbolic whole in the Supreme Leader of the elves.
(But Ciri is also the witcher girl and owns a sword, unyielding before the matter of her gender. And though many a men might take her for the Lady of the Lake, she is not about to part with her sword.)
The realm is all
From early age, Emhyr’s father instilled an understanding in his heir that nothing counts more than the interest of the state. The blood of the Emreis family must be on the throne. Fergus never abdicated, not after torture, not even after his son was turned into a mutant hedgehog in front of his eyes. Love for his child did not sway Fergus from having his son suffer in the interests of power and the realm. This is how the shard of ice in Emhyr’s heart forms. Auberon, equally, “thinks of England” when attempting to regain his daughter’s legacy and restore their people’s power. The circumstances of Lara’s demise, however, beg the question about the Alder King’s role in facilitating or enabling the conditions that let things spiral out of control and break beyond repair. The stakes were infinitely higher for Auberon than they are for Emreis’ dynastic struggle. But what would an answer to this question change? In their cold hearts these characters see themselves each as duty-bound.
Ambitious and gloried, they nevertheless occupy different stages in their lives.
Emhyr’s ambition burns bright and fresh. Auberon’s has dwindled into a shadow of the past; buried under having witnessed and lived through the sacrifices that a ruler makes in the name of power. Emhyr chooses to seek retribution and power beyond what would befall him should he accept his life as Duny (the cursed, pitiful Duny), the prince consort of Cintra. Never losing sight of his goal, love and human happiness become temporary phases and means to an end, and Emhyr returns to Cintra only in the form of flames and death to pursue his daughter in insane ambition. The White Flame retains an active disposition; a lust for life. Neither Emhyr nor Auberon gallop at the head of their armies though, leading instead from the rear. They have lackeys for carrying out their will remotely (e.g. Cahir and Eredin). Emhyr, however, is said to be otherwise highly involved in the ruling of his empire, even if many revolutionaries who had helped him on the throne had hoped he would remain but a banner of the revolution. In contrast, the Alder King has more or less withdrawn from life and active service. In presence of Avallac’h and Eredin, Auberon appears much more like the standard Emhyr had refused to become. Of course, many decisions the equivalent of which Auberon has already made are still ahead of Emhyr, including as concerns the freedom of his daughter.
A ruler’s heart
Did Emhyr believe that he would be able to see Pavetta in Ciri and thus push through with the incest? Did Auberon hope to glance the memory of his wife in the eyes of Lara’s “daughter” and manage in this way? As already noted, neither ruler is pursuing their plans out of lust, but as lust must be induced for the act to bear fruit I cannot help but wonder what these characters must do to themselves to follow through with their plans. Because the love that is called for between a woman and a man in order for new life and hope to be born is in this instance abnormal. Yet it is undoubtedly love that plays a huge role in determining both Emhyr’s and Auberon’s eventual fate.
Until the emergence of false-Ciri, Emhyr var Emreis is said to have had numerous ladies in the imperial court. Little is known about Auberon’s disposition, but by the time Ciri starts frequenting his bed chamber it has become evident the image of a dowager king fits the elf like a glove; disaffected with romantic dalliance, he is still aware of the courtly intrigue and expectations surrounding it.
The next evening, for the first time, the Alder King betrayed his impatience. She found him hunched over the table where a looking glass framed in amber was lying. White powder had been sprinkled on it. It’s beginning, she thought. … At one moment Ciri was certain it was about to happen. But it didn’t. At least not all the way. And once again he became impatient. He stood up and threw a sable fur over his shoulders. He stood like that, turned away, staring at the window and the moon. - Lady of the LakeEmhyr’s marriage to Pavetta, Ciri’s mother, was an unhappy one. In his own words, he did not love “the melancholy wench with her permanently lowered eyes,” and eventually would have had the vigilant Pavetta killed. Inadvertently, Emhyr caused Pavetta’s death anyway.
‘I wonder how a man feels after murdering his wife,’ the Witcher said coldly. ‘Lousy,’ replied Emhyr without delay. ‘I felt and I feel lousy and bloody shabby. Even the fact that I never loved her doesn’t change that. The end justifies the means, yet I sincerely do regret her death. I didn’t want it or plan it. Pavetta died by accident.’ ‘You’re lying,’ Geralt said dryly, ‘and that doesn’t befit an emperor. Pavetta could not live. She had unmasked you. And would never have let you do what you wanted to do to Ciri.’ ‘She would have lived,’ Emhyr retorted. ‘Somewhere … far away. There are enough castles … Darn Rowan, for instance. I couldn’t have killed her.’ ‘Even for an end that was justified by the means?’ ‘One can always find a less drastic means.’ The emperor wiped his face. ‘There are always plenty of them.’ ‘Not always,’ said the Witcher, looking him in the eyes. Emhyr avoided his gaze. ‘That’s exactly what I thought,’ Geralt said, nodding. - Lady of the LakeAfter Pavetta’s demise Emhyr hounds his own daughter to the ends of the earth, killing her grandmother, burning down her home, and driving Ciri into an exile from which she never fully recovers. An exile which kills the innocence in her; the snow-white streaks in Ciri’s hair are from the trauma. In contrast, Auberon does not seem to even know what became of Shiadhal – his partner and the mother of their daughter together. On the verge of death he confuses Ciri for Shiadhal and says, “I am glad you are here. You know, they told me you had died.” The Alder King recalls Shiadhal affectionately, in the same loving breath as he recalls their daughter Lara. Lara whose exile – voluntary or not – killed her.
When Ciri was six years old, Emhyr took a lock of hair from her and held onto it; out of sentiment and for his court sorcerers to use. One of Auberon’s last lines to Ciri involves tying a loose ribbon back into Lara’s hair.
In regard to their brides-to-be, both rulers are saddled with fakes. A fake Ciri-Pavetta and a fake Shiadhal-Lara. But Emhyr’s and Auberon’s attitude toward the fake is diametrically opposite. Emhyr sees false-Cirilla as “a diamond in the rough.” Auberon calls Ciri “a pearl in pig shit, a diamond on the finger of a rotting corpse.” For Emhyr, a diamond is the essence of his poor peasant girl. While a pearl in pig shit, for Auberon, remains the essence of Ciri. Neither ruler can entirely ignore the social vigilance extended toward the ruler’s bedchamber either. The idea of a “foreign bride” is frowned upon among the Nilfgaardian aristocracy; it decreases their ability to influence the Emperor. Ciri’s social status at Tir ná Lia is never explicitly addressed, but the presence of human servants – all of whom that the reader sees are female – and casual xenophobia from Auberon himself does not make it hard to venture a guess.
‘If I were … the real Cirilla … the emperor would look more favourably on me. But I’m only a counterfeit. A poor imitation. A double, not worthy of anything. Nothing …’ - False-Cirilla Lady of the LakeThe Alder King is unable to bring himself to love Ciri. The Emperor relents, caring for his daughter at last as a father should at the very end, in the one moment where it matters. Moreover, Emhyr ends up eventually marrying his own reason of state and comes to love the false-Cirilla. The contrasts do not end here. Real Ciri threatens to tear Emhyr’s throat out for what he is planning to do to her (unknowing that he is her father), yet with Auberon Ciri turns submissive and grows attached. She weeps over Auberon’s corpse and vows vengeance on Eredin for killing the Alder King. Ironic as Auberon never intended to let Ciri go, while Emhyr does let his daughter walk free. The shard in Auberon’s heart never melts. It shifts in Emhyr’s.
‘It’s all my fault,’ she mumbled. ‘That scar blights me, I know. I know what you see when you look at me. There’s not much elf left in me. A gold nugget in a pile of compost—’ - Ciri Lady of the Lake
In their last meeting with the girl, both rulers implicitly reveal their blood relation to Ciri.
Cursed Rulers of the World
Emhyr’s tale begins and is framed with a curse. Likewise Auberon’s. And for both it is love in its different manifestations that will shift the curse just enough to offer closure. For healing largely entails obtaining closure.‘They were silent for a long time. The scent of spring suddenly made them feel light-headed. Both of them. ‘In spite of appearances,’ Emhyr finally said dully, ‘being empress is not an easy job. I don’t know if I’ll be able to love you.’ She nodded to show she also knew. He saw a tear on her cheek. Just like in Stygga Castle, he felt the tiny shard of cold glass lodged in his heart shift.’ - Lady of the LakeThe reference to H. C. Andersen’s fairy tale of the Snow Queen is self-evident. Emhyr var Emreis is an Emperor whose heart has been pierced by a shard of ice. In the Saga the legend is elven and refers to the Winter Queen who conducts a Wild Hunt as she travels the land, casting hard, sharp, tiny shards of ice around her. Whose eye or heart is pierced by one of them is lost; they will abandon everything and will set off after the Queen, the one who wounded them so gravely as to become the sole aim and end of their life.
There are two ways in which to interpret the way Sapkowski applies the legend of the Snow Queen in the Saga. First, as a complement to the author’s stance that in life - where most things are shit - the Holy Grail is a woman, because it is the love of a woman and the hope a woman instils that often makes men act in inconceivable ways; love is the great motivator and the great balancer of scales. Almost as powerful as death. Or more so?
‘I would not like to put forward the theory that hunting for the wild pig was the primordial example of the search for the Grail. I don’t want to be so trivial. I will - after Parnicki and Dante - identify the Grail with the real goal of the great effort of mythical heroes. I prefer to identify the Grail with Olwen, from under whose feet, as she walked, white clovers grew. I prefer to identify the Grail with Lydia, who was loved by Parry. I like New York in June… How about you? Because I think the Grail is a woman. It is worth investing a lot of time and effort in order to find it and gain it, to understand it. And that’s the moral.’ - A. Sapkowski Swiat króla Artura. MaladieIn this reading, we find the framing to the stories of Geralt and Yennefer, Lara and Cregennan, Avallac’h and Lara, and many others. Including the story of Ciri herself – for Ciri is ultimately the author’s Grail in more ways than one. More than one party goes to great lengths to solicit her favour in a guise that includes elements of a love relationship but not the heart of it.
Secondly, we can interpret the legend in universal terms: the shard of ice is the definitive experience of our lives which distorts reality and makes the rest of our lives spin around it in one way or another. For Emhyr, such an experience could have been the trauma experienced in his youth. Fergus’ uncompromising death conditioned the boy early on to sacrifice personal feelings to the cause and let the only true feeling in his heart remain forever locked behind the ends a ruler must go to unthinkable lengths to achieve. Fergus did not deem his son above suffering for a cause and the son learned the lesson. Until…
In Andersen’s Snow Queen, Gerda manages to find her brother Kai in the Snow Queen’s castle, but despite her calls his heart remains cold as ice. Only when Gerda cries in despair do her tears finally melt the ice and remove the piece of glass from Kai’s eyes and heart. In the Witcher, the shard in Emhyr’s heart moves first upon witnessing his true daughter’s angry tears. For the second time – in thanks to the bogus princess of Cintra; his poor raison d’etat.
It brings us to the defining contrast in Emhyr’s and Auberon’s stories, and it concerns alleviating the suffering of those are bound to you by blood or love.
Recalling another case of incest that resulted in Adda the strigga, we may remember that the Temerian king recognises that his daughter is suffering and insists on disenchanting her instead of killing her. Realising that your own blood – who has been thrown into this world of suffering thanks to you – is suffering and consequently choosing to do something to alleviate this suffering fortifies the Saga’s faith in enduring human decency. Geralt himself is thoroughly vexed by the prospect of letting the same evil happen to Ciri that happened to himself and does everything within his power to prevent it (failing, trying anyway). Here lives the redemption of man, and in redemption his rebirth.
‘They passed a pond, empty and melancholy. The ancient carp released by Emperor Torres had died two days earlier. “I’ll release a new, young, strong, beautiful specimen,” thought Emhyr var Emreis, “I’ll order a medal with my likeness and the date to be attached to it. Vaesse deireadh aep eigean. Something has ended, something is beginning. It’s a new era. New times. A new life. So let there be a new carp too, dammit.”’ - Lady of the LakeAs Emhyr and false-Cirilla take a stroll in the gardens after Stygga, they pass a sculpture of a pelican pecking open its own breast to feed its young on its blood. An allegory of noble sacrifice and also of great love – as False-Ciri tells us.
‘Do you think—’ he turned her to face him and pursed his lips ‘—that a torn-open breast hurts less because of that?’ ‘I don’t know …’ she stammered. ‘Your Imperial Majesty … I …’ He took hold of her hand. He felt her shudder; the shudder ran along his hand, arm and shoulder. ‘My father,’ he said, ‘was a great ruler, but never had a head for legends or myths, never had time for them. And always mixed them up. Whenever he brought me here, to the park, I remember it like yesterday, he always said that the sculpture shows a pelican rising from its ashes.’ - Lady of the LakeIt is difficult to set aside our trauma and not pass it on to our children. Letting our children be free to choose and not sacrificing them on the altar of our fate is to rip open ourselves, calcified and bound to our path, and to feel all of it as we grope in the dark to feel for them. Emhyr’s father might not have gotten it entirely wrong, though his mind at the time was set on making his child an extension of himself. The cycle of death and rebirth begins and ends within that to which we give birth. Giving our children a chance before it is too late, we also give a chance to ourselves. By finding it in his heart to extend to his daughter the courtesy his father Fergus never extended to him - by letting Ciri free - Emhyr lets the part of himself that has defined his entire life die. His end stops justifying the means. He breaks the cycle on the edge of the precipice to which he has brought them and thus allows for the possibility of new beginnings for himself and for Ciri.
In a sense, False-Cirilla and Emhyr get the ending Ciri and Auberon might have gotten if –
If.
The story of Auberon Muircetach achieves a fundamentally different resolution.
‘What does the spear with the bloody blade mean? Why does the King with the lanced thigh suffer and what does it mean? What is the meaning of the maiden in white carrying a grail, a silver bowl—?’ - Galahad Lady of the LakeGalahad asks the questions that the innocent Perceval in his Story of the Grail failed to ask, thus losing his chance at freeing the Fisher King from his curse. And the Fisher King is the guardian of mysteries, among them the Holy Grail. But it is not because of gain that a chivalric knight with a shining sword should seek to free the Fisher King from his curse, but rather because it is a human thing to do. Sapkowski claims to be partial to Wolfram von Eschenbach’s rendition of the Grail myth in Parsifal. Wolfram’s message, according to Sapkowski, is the following:
‘Let’s not wait for the revelation and the command that comes from above, let’s not wait for any Deus vult. Let’s look for the grail in ourselves. Because the Grail is nobility, it is the love of a neighbor, it is an ability for compassion. Real chivalric ideals, towards which it is worth looking for the right path, cutting through the wild forest, where, as they quote, “there is no road, no path”. Everyone has to find their path on their own. But it is not true that there is only one path. There are many of them. Infinitely many. … Being human is important. Heart.’ ‘I prefer the humanism of Wolfram von Eschenbach and Terry Gilliam from the idiosyncrasies of bitter Cistercian scribes and Bernard of Clairvaux…’ - A. Sapkowski Swiat króla Artura: MaladieThe unimaginable sadness in Auberon’s eyes belies the suffering of the Alder King who is the avatar of the Fisher King. In the Witcher’s story between elves and humans, it is the elven males who all share aspects of the Fisher King’s fate, because they are the keepers of their Grail – the protectors of elven women. Auberon’s wound is wrought by time: by surviving his wife and daughter, by the witnessing of the fading of his ambitions and the results of pursuing them without success. He has lost his line. The Fisher King’s injury represents the inability to produce an heir. A ruler who is the protector and physical embodiment of his land, yet remains barren, sterile, or without a true-born successor, bodes ill for the realm. The Alder King’s injury consists in having lost control of the source of his people’s power, leaving the elves imprisoned and scattered across two worlds. Auberon’s personal tragedy, however, subsists in the lost power having been functionally manifest in a daughter.
‘Lara.’ The Alder King moved his head, and touched his neck as though his royal torc’h was garrotting him. ‘Caemm a me, luned. Come to me, daughter. Caemm a me, elaine.’ Ciri sensed death in his breath. - Lady of the LakeElder Blood is indeed an accursed blood because it enslaves its carriers to its purpose. Emhyr has a theoretical chance to walk away from the pursuit of earthly power; the construct is social. Elder Blood, however, has a particular and real, magical function, and in virtue of being a genetic mutation it is embedded in the gene-carrying individuals. Functionally, Elder Blood allows to shape fate with degrees of freedom unimaginable for an ordinary individual. It’s a difference comparable to the one between a character in a story and the story’s author. Therefore the Aen Saevherne – the carriers of the gene – are bound to the thing they carry within their DNA that allows them to a greater and lesser degree shape the fate of reality. However dearly Auberon, or Lara, might have ever wished to untie themselves from their own essence, it seems impossible. The loss of control over power then is quite simply so pivotal as to necessitate a moment of original sin.
As already witnessed by way of the legend of the Winter Queen, the original “myths” of the Witcher world usually originate among elves; humans, the interlopers, push themselves into those myths only later. This creates an interesting conundrum. In Parsifal, the Fisher King is injured as punishment for taking a wife who is not meant for him. A Grail keeper is to marry the woman the Grail determines for him, which – if we equate woman with the Grail – is what the woman determines. Unfortunately, we know nothing about Shiadhal, so we cannot verify if this part of the legend dovetails. But generally, in a wholly elven world which may have matriarchal tendencies, in lieu of worshipping the mother Goddess, such cosmology is relatively unproblematic. Except suddenly there are humans too. And Auberon – the highest leader of elves and the father of the new scion of Elder Blood – is indirectly injured because a human sorcerer – Cregennan – turns himself into a Grail keeper (in place of another, special elf) by taking a woman not meant for him.
‘Witcher,’ she whispered, kissing his cheek, ‘there’s no romance in you. And I… I like elven legends, they are so captivating. What a pity humans don’t have any legends like that. Perhaps one day they will? Perhaps they’ll create some? But what would human legends deal with? All around, wherever one looks, there’s greyness and dullness. Even things which begin beautifully lead swiftly to boredom and dreariness, to that human ritual, that wearisome rhythm called life.’ - Yennefer Sword of DestinyCregennan’s injury is to die. But what about the original Fisher King figure? What is Auberon’s original sin in this?
I see two possibilities. It could be that Auberon in his ambition hastened his daughter’s way into exile and, in a display of his displeasure, never made any effort to ease his daughter in to the personal sacrifices they, as Aen Saevherne, must make; walking without blinking to the end of the path Emhyr turned away from. It could equally be that Auberon, instead of locking Lara up in a tower to protect her from the folly of youth, let her go to Cregennan. It could be an amalgam of both, and the misjudgement of a father who allows freedom, who feels for his child, and is rewarded with an irreversible injury is probably the greater tragedy.
Because, regardless of the origin of the curse upon Auberon, one thing does not change – the icy eternity in the Alder King’s heart never fractures.
‘‘Zireael,’ he said. ‘Loc’hlaith. You are indeed destiny, O Lady of the Lake. Mine too, as it transpires.’ - Auberon Lady of the LakeCiri passes through the shadow world of the Alders; a manifestation of fate. Her footsteps sowing discord and movement and change into the immutable, time-locked amber of the elven utopia. Her presence providing the trigger that will unshackle the past from future in a world where for a long time nothing has changed, died, or been reborn. She is destined and destiny, annihilation and rebirth, the grain of sand in the gears of the great mechanism; a strange girl. The child of hope and the Goddess who ought to be Three. Lara, the true daughter of the Alder King, is dead. Emhyr’s daughter still lives. There is nothing Auberon can do for Lara anymore and thus the ice in Auberon’s heart has crystallised. Emhyr still has a chance; he is where Auberon once was. And yet, there is one thing Ciri, the witcher girl with a sword of her own, can still do for the Alder King.
‘Va’esse deireadh aep eigean… But,’ he finished with a sigh, ‘it’s good that something is beginning.’ They heard a long-drawn-out peal of thunder outside the window. The storm was still far away. But it was approaching fast. ‘In spite of everything,’ he said, ‘I very much don’t want to die, Zireael. And I’m so sorry that I must. Who’d have thought it? I thought I wouldn’t regret it. I’ve lived long, I’ve experienced everything. I’ve become bored with everything … but nonetheless I feel regret. And do you know what else? Come closer. I’ll tell you in confidence. Let it be our secret.’ She bent forward. ‘I’m afraid,’ he whispered. ‘I know.’ ‘Are you with me?’ ‘Yes, I am.’ - Auberon Lady of the LakeThe only way Ciri the Grail knight will be able to find her true self – the Grail – is to cure the suffering Alder King from his curse. Ciri’s presence in the world of the Alders is after all also part of her coming of age story. Through becoming Auberon’s destiny, Ciri must close the circle for him and bring closure. He would never let her go because the shard in Auberon’s heart is no longer able to melt. Auberon does not follow the motif of alleviating the suffering of one’s blood and/or love; and he dies. The roles are reversed, in fact. It is Ciri who realises Auberon is suffering. So Ciri must do what only she can do, because remaining human is important. Heart is important. The sacrifice a ruler makes on the altar of power includes his own heart, which is why there should never be only one, but always two; always.
‘Time is like the ancient Ouroboros. Time is fleeting moments, grains of sand passing through an hourglass. Time is the moments and events we so readily try to measure. But the ancient Ouroboros reminds us that in every moment, in every instant, in every event, is hidden the past, the present and the future. Eternity is hidden in every moment. Every departure is at once a return, every farewell is a greeting, every return is a parting. Everything is simultaneously a beginning and an end. ‘And you too,’ he said, not looking at her at all, ‘are at once the beginning and the end. And because we are discussing destiny, know that it is precisely your destiny. To be the beginning and the end. Do you understand?’ She hesitated for a moment. But his glowing eyes forced her to answer. ‘I do.’ - Lady of the LakeDeath Crone to Auberon Muircetach, Ciri never becomes the Mother Goddess in the Saga. It is a choice she must make for herself and the choice still lies ahead of her. The predicate to making such a choice at least for now, however, she achieves; she goes her own way. In a sense then, both rulers are father figures, who through their choices “beget” the child who is destined. Perhaps this too the Knowing Ones knew, and for this reason Auberon never could have budged, never could have changed his mind in regard to his purpose in the long and winding story of his life. Something is ending, but something is also beginning. A good ruler is responsible for the flourishing of their realm, for providing hope. It is Ciri’s role to be the beginning and the end, and though there might be ways in which to nudge the hand of Fate, whatever is destined must happen. Destiny, however accursed, must run its course.
That is the hope and the release.
2023.03.26 13:10 anoods2471 Is being a gentleman important? (M20) (F20)
I (F, 20 yrs old) have this suitor (M, 20 yrs old) and he was such a good person but being a gentleman is not a natural thing for him. In a sense that I have to talk to him and ask him that it'll be nice to be a gentleman sometimes, but again, being a gentleman is not his forte.
There are times when we eat together with friends, he's just going to get a plate for himself. Everytime we're on a vehicle and I'll say I'm tired and I want to sleep, I expect him to let me lay down on his shoulder but no, he's the one who lays down on mine. There are other scenarios I can't write down but sometimes I feel like he only thinks about himself. I am capable but I sometimes it's nice to function when there's someone who cares and checks on you. :>
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There are times when we eat together with friends, he's just going to get a plate for himself. Everytime we're on a vehicle and I'll say I'm tired and I want to sleep, I expect him to let me lay down on his shoulder but no, he's the one who lays down on mine. There are other scenarios I can't write down but sometimes I feel like he only thinks about himself. I am capable but I sometimes it's nice to function when there's someone who cares and checks on you. :>
2023.03.26 13:08 xfallenangelx95 27/F after losing someone I thought I could be friends with - I'm slowly losing hope but I'm still here.I'm looking for people interested in daily conversation - People who are loners as well as I want to find someone in the same situation and people always fighting for a friendship.Only Europe
Only Europe Please- short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will permanently be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unwanted advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone interested in being my friend - not the whole world which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life.
Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent
(remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make any time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give you one word answer and ask you another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different🙂
What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
Do you ever feel like an option? Like a stranger to others despite knowing them for months or years & talking to them quite often? Like there's always something and someone more important than you and you just..don't fit in and no matter what you do - your effort is never appreciated?
I'm always the one texting people immediately (or at the very least trying to) no matter where I am and who I am with (family) others? Never - except for one exception.A really lovely person.
What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and without partners..Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them ( which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (Acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .. I also want to talk to others on a daily basis mainly because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..Why I'd rather talk to people from my continent? Well..Mainly because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - Especially given most people are always available on social media sites & keep their phones in a pocket.Once you receive & open my message - get back to me (If you're as serious as I am & really need a true friend) waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
I'm by no means criticising people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have non important conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason.All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.
Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life
I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people really are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message Don't let anyone lie to you.Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..
You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk daily? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally
I'm not trying to sound rude - I just don't want to meet new people and get emotionally attached - only to end up being left alone after weeks or months of daily conversations.I'm sick of that never ending story and always meeting people who ghost me without a single word (even if everything seems to be ok) or people who "change priorities" over time & become like strangers…I don't want to go through this ever again.
Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :)
It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make time for you.I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.
Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you. 🙂 I'm not really interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life.
• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in my post or messages and just focus on some question in a certain message or... when they don't ask me any questions themselves.
• No dirty messages PLEASE.I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. No NSWF profiles..I always check people's profiles (Even comment history) - To avoid guys,trying to get inappropriate photos from adult women or? flirt with them.I also absolutely don't respond to messages from people whose comments are very rude & obviously - Messages from people who judge other people and use vulgar words to describe them or? Make fun of them.Respect is very important
• Please only adult people 18-36 age range (I'm 27)
• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. Some people don't message me back as well and even though It is a bit disappointing I'm ok with that as long as there's no emotional bond - I think it's ok to not respond to someone's first or second message If people just think they wouldn't get along I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversation and seeing people changing priorities This is something I don't want to go through ever again for real If I'm really interested in someone's message - I respond within a matter of minutes - max 6 hours (If I'm in bed - just sleeping) you won't even hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I really was too busy to make time for others - I wouldn't be here.I either want to talk to someone..or not.I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike some people)
• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - just like me - just to describe your emotions through text. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough I just don't like emotionless messages.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"
• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you ) before moving to Discord or some other app
• Time response matters to me a lot! It matters to me whether I get a message back after one hour,three hours,6 hours or..12 hours and even..after a couple of days..And If you're another person just looking for one day conversation and then? "Disappear" for some amount of time longer than one day to come back and apologize me for being busy - don't even leave me a message.I just want to be honest with you from the start.I'm interested only in daily conversations
Why can’t you see any of my interests listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest,talkative,understanding,caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but in my personal opinion,common interests are important mainly when you want to find a gaming buddy (for example) or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's interests – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life– way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you!I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke
Friendships should be natural – not forced.Both people wanting to be friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.
I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I higly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :)
We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.
If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night)I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies.I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new.
You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that's something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance. But others see it as false hope. Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future. You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're only responsible for ourselves - not for others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on,forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because a therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you.Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out & feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else"
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others.Empathy is everything
Our world needs more peace 🤗 I've seen a lot of rude comments on reddit.If you don't agree with me - OK but please don't criticize me + Not everyone is here for some advice.
Listen people - I know how different my post is & I know It won't be easy for me to find what or rather who - I'm looking for BUT I always want to be myself instead of pretending someone I'm not and lying to others.I know It would be easier if (like others) I had less expectations but I I know what I want and honestly? If my post was different..I wouldn't be me.Even If I won't meet a person I'd get along with - that's ok! but don't give me any unwanted advice because I wouldn't change for someone who doesn't even know me pretty much as I wouldn't want to change anyone else.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.I'm not here to argue with anyone and to make fun of others.
Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abrreviations,If you don't need an emotional connection,If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship,to be natural which is why I want you to contact me If your needs are the same - I don't want you to try to change yourself only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.
I know It's possible to find what I'm looking for as I had conversations with people looking for exactly the same thing and being nice to me - I want to believe in my luck again as I had it a few times on reddit - I've recently lost someone I thought could be a friend of mine (such a perfect match) and I'm sad
No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests.I don't really like public conversations.I do not respond to comments so If you want to send me a message just do it without saying "You can DM me"
submitted by xfallenangelx95 to lonely [link] [comments]
Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent
(remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make any time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give you one word answer and ask you another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different🙂
What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
Do you ever feel like an option? Like a stranger to others despite knowing them for months or years & talking to them quite often? Like there's always something and someone more important than you and you just..don't fit in and no matter what you do - your effort is never appreciated?
I'm always the one texting people immediately (or at the very least trying to) no matter where I am and who I am with (family) others? Never - except for one exception.A really lovely person.
What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and without partners..Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them ( which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (Acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .. I also want to talk to others on a daily basis mainly because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..Why I'd rather talk to people from my continent? Well..Mainly because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - Especially given most people are always available on social media sites & keep their phones in a pocket.Once you receive & open my message - get back to me (If you're as serious as I am & really need a true friend) waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
I'm by no means criticising people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have non important conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason.All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.
Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life
I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people really are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message Don't let anyone lie to you.Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..
You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk daily? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally
I'm not trying to sound rude - I just don't want to meet new people and get emotionally attached - only to end up being left alone after weeks or months of daily conversations.I'm sick of that never ending story and always meeting people who ghost me without a single word (even if everything seems to be ok) or people who "change priorities" over time & become like strangers…I don't want to go through this ever again.
Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :)
It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make time for you.I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.
Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you. 🙂 I'm not really interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life.
• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in my post or messages and just focus on some question in a certain message or... when they don't ask me any questions themselves.
• No dirty messages PLEASE.I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. No NSWF profiles..I always check people's profiles (Even comment history) - To avoid guys,trying to get inappropriate photos from adult women or? flirt with them.I also absolutely don't respond to messages from people whose comments are very rude & obviously - Messages from people who judge other people and use vulgar words to describe them or? Make fun of them.Respect is very important
• Please only adult people 18-36 age range (I'm 27)
• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. Some people don't message me back as well and even though It is a bit disappointing I'm ok with that as long as there's no emotional bond - I think it's ok to not respond to someone's first or second message If people just think they wouldn't get along I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversation and seeing people changing priorities This is something I don't want to go through ever again for real If I'm really interested in someone's message - I respond within a matter of minutes - max 6 hours (If I'm in bed - just sleeping) you won't even hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I really was too busy to make time for others - I wouldn't be here.I either want to talk to someone..or not.I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike some people)
• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - just like me - just to describe your emotions through text. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough I just don't like emotionless messages.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"
• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you ) before moving to Discord or some other app
• Time response matters to me a lot! It matters to me whether I get a message back after one hour,three hours,6 hours or..12 hours and even..after a couple of days..And If you're another person just looking for one day conversation and then? "Disappear" for some amount of time longer than one day to come back and apologize me for being busy - don't even leave me a message.I just want to be honest with you from the start.I'm interested only in daily conversations
Why can’t you see any of my interests listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest,talkative,understanding,caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but in my personal opinion,common interests are important mainly when you want to find a gaming buddy (for example) or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's interests – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life– way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you!I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke
Friendships should be natural – not forced.Both people wanting to be friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.
I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I higly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :)
We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.
If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night)I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies.I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new.
You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that's something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance. But others see it as false hope. Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future. You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're only responsible for ourselves - not for others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on,forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because a therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you.Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out & feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else"
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others.Empathy is everything
Our world needs more peace 🤗 I've seen a lot of rude comments on reddit.If you don't agree with me - OK but please don't criticize me + Not everyone is here for some advice.
Listen people - I know how different my post is & I know It won't be easy for me to find what or rather who - I'm looking for BUT I always want to be myself instead of pretending someone I'm not and lying to others.I know It would be easier if (like others) I had less expectations but I I know what I want and honestly? If my post was different..I wouldn't be me.Even If I won't meet a person I'd get along with - that's ok! but don't give me any unwanted advice because I wouldn't change for someone who doesn't even know me pretty much as I wouldn't want to change anyone else.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.I'm not here to argue with anyone and to make fun of others.
Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abrreviations,If you don't need an emotional connection,If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship,to be natural which is why I want you to contact me If your needs are the same - I don't want you to try to change yourself only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.
I know It's possible to find what I'm looking for as I had conversations with people looking for exactly the same thing and being nice to me - I want to believe in my luck again as I had it a few times on reddit - I've recently lost someone I thought could be a friend of mine (such a perfect match) and I'm sad
No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests.I don't really like public conversations.I do not respond to comments so If you want to send me a message just do it without saying "You can DM me"
2023.03.26 13:04 RowOutrageous5186 How can I know for sure if I've been floxied
I had cipro prescribed twice in the course of two months last year in November and December, first time I took 10 pills and second one I took 20..
In December I developed plantar fascitis but doctors say it due to hiking and carrying a backpack. (Though I was on cipro while hiking, nobody warned me) I didn't feel any strong effects then, just that my calves felt kind of a bit stiff.
Now, three months later I get pain in my left shoulder sometimes, mostly from doing my PF stretches (I have to grab my toes and stretch them hard)… and sometimes I have a bit of pain in my right hip.
Now, I'm not doing any other type of exercise because I'm scared of tendon ruptures and all of this because of those two rounds of cipro.
Is there any kind of test I could take to see if I have any issues with my tendons?
submitted by RowOutrageous5186 to floxies [link] [comments]
In December I developed plantar fascitis but doctors say it due to hiking and carrying a backpack. (Though I was on cipro while hiking, nobody warned me) I didn't feel any strong effects then, just that my calves felt kind of a bit stiff.
Now, three months later I get pain in my left shoulder sometimes, mostly from doing my PF stretches (I have to grab my toes and stretch them hard)… and sometimes I have a bit of pain in my right hip.
Now, I'm not doing any other type of exercise because I'm scared of tendon ruptures and all of this because of those two rounds of cipro.
Is there any kind of test I could take to see if I have any issues with my tendons?
2023.03.26 13:04 xfallenangelx95 27/F Looking for friendless people who know exactly what loneliness is - to talk to on a daily basis.I'm looking for like minded people in the same situation as mine to finally get close to someone new.I don't make friends based on hobbies but on similar outlook on life and similar experiences <3
Only Europe Please- short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will permanently be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unwanted advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone interested in being my friend - not the whole world which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life.
Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent
(remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make any time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give you one word answer and ask you another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different🙂
What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
Do you ever feel like an option? Like a stranger to others despite knowing them for months or years & talking to them quite often? Like there's always something and someone more important than you and you just..don't fit in and no matter what you do - your effort is never appreciated?
I'm always the one texting people immediately (or at the very least trying to) no matter where I am and who I am with (family) others? Never - except for one exception.A really lovely person.
What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and without partners..Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them ( which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (Acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .. I also want to talk to others on a daily basis mainly because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..Why I'd rather talk to people from my continent? Well..Mainly because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - Especially given most people are always available on social media sites & keep their phones in a pocket.Once you receive & open my message - get back to me (If you're as serious as I am & really need a true friend) waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
I'm by no means criticising people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have non important conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason.All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.
Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life
I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people really are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message Don't let anyone lie to you.Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..
You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk daily? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally
I'm not trying to sound rude - I just don't want to meet new people and get emotionally attached - only to end up being left alone after weeks or months of daily conversations.I'm sick of that never ending story and always meeting people who ghost me without a single word (even if everything seems to be ok) or people who "change priorities" over time & become like strangers…I don't want to go through this ever again.
Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :)
It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make time for you.I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.
Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you. 🙂 I'm not really interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life.
• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in my post or messages and just focus on some question in a certain message or... when they don't ask me any questions themselves.
• No dirty messages PLEASE.I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. No NSWF profiles..I always check people's profiles (Even comment history) - To avoid guys,trying to get inappropriate photos from adult women or? flirt with them.I also absolutely don't respond to messages from people whose comments are very rude & obviously - Messages from people who judge other people and use vulgar words to describe them or? Make fun of them.Respect is very important
• Please only adult people 18-36 age range (I'm 27)
• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. Some people don't message me back as well and even though It is a bit disappointing I'm ok with that as long as there's no emotional bond - I think it's ok to not respond to someone's first or second message If people just think they wouldn't get along I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversation and seeing people changing priorities This is something I don't want to go through ever again for real If I'm really interested in someone's message - I respond within a matter of minutes - max 6 hours (If I'm in bed - just sleeping) you won't even hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I really was too busy to make time for others - I wouldn't be here.I either want to talk to someone..or not.I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike some people)
• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - just like me - just to describe your emotions through text. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough I just don't like emotionless messages.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"
• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you ) before moving to Discord or some other app
• Time response matters to me a lot! It matters to me whether I get a message back after one hour,three hours,6 hours or..12 hours and even..after a couple of days..And If you're another person just looking for one day conversation and then? "Disappear" for some amount of time longer than one day to come back and apologize me for being busy - don't even leave me a message.I just want to be honest with you from the start.I'm interested only in daily conversations
Why can’t you see any of my interests listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest,talkative,understanding,caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but in my personal opinion,common interests are important mainly when you want to find a gaming buddy (for example) or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's interests – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life– way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you!I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke
Friendships should be natural – not forced.Both people wanting to be friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.
I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I higly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :)
We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.
If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night)I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies.I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new.
You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that's something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance. But others see it as false hope. Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're only responsible for ourselves - not for others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on,forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because a therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you.Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out & feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else"
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others.Empathy is everything
Our world needs more peace 🤗 I've seen a lot of rude comments on reddit.If you don't agree with me - OK but please don't criticize me + Not everyone is here for some advice.
Listen people - I know how different my post is & I know It won't be easy for me to find what or rather who - I'm looking for BUT I always want to be myself instead of pretending someone I'm not and lying to others.I know It would be easier if (like others) I had less expectations but I I know what I want and honestly? If my post was different..I wouldn't be me.Even If I won't meet a person I'd get along with - that's ok! but don't give me any unwanted advice because I wouldn't change for someone who doesn't even know me pretty much as I wouldn't want to change anyone else.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.I'm not here to argue with anyone and to make fun of others.
Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abrreviations,If you don't need an emotional connection,If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship,to be natural which is why I want you to contact me If your needs are the same - I don't want you to try to change yourself only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.
I know It's possible to find what I'm looking for as I had conversations with people looking for exactly the same thing and being nice to me - I want to believe in my luck again as I had it a few times on reddit
No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests.I don't really like public conversations.I do not respond to comments so If you want to send me a message just do it without saying "You can DM me"
submitted by xfallenangelx95 to textfriends [link] [comments]
Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent
(remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make any time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give you one word answer and ask you another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different🙂
What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
Do you ever feel like an option? Like a stranger to others despite knowing them for months or years & talking to them quite often? Like there's always something and someone more important than you and you just..don't fit in and no matter what you do - your effort is never appreciated?
I'm always the one texting people immediately (or at the very least trying to) no matter where I am and who I am with (family) others? Never - except for one exception.A really lovely person.
What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and without partners..Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them ( which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (Acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .. I also want to talk to others on a daily basis mainly because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..Why I'd rather talk to people from my continent? Well..Mainly because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - Especially given most people are always available on social media sites & keep their phones in a pocket.Once you receive & open my message - get back to me (If you're as serious as I am & really need a true friend) waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
I'm by no means criticising people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have non important conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason.All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.
Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life
I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people really are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message Don't let anyone lie to you.Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..
You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk daily? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally
I'm not trying to sound rude - I just don't want to meet new people and get emotionally attached - only to end up being left alone after weeks or months of daily conversations.I'm sick of that never ending story and always meeting people who ghost me without a single word (even if everything seems to be ok) or people who "change priorities" over time & become like strangers…I don't want to go through this ever again.
Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :)
It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make time for you.I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.
Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you. 🙂 I'm not really interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life.
• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in my post or messages and just focus on some question in a certain message or... when they don't ask me any questions themselves.
• No dirty messages PLEASE.I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. No NSWF profiles..I always check people's profiles (Even comment history) - To avoid guys,trying to get inappropriate photos from adult women or? flirt with them.I also absolutely don't respond to messages from people whose comments are very rude & obviously - Messages from people who judge other people and use vulgar words to describe them or? Make fun of them.Respect is very important
• Please only adult people 18-36 age range (I'm 27)
• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. Some people don't message me back as well and even though It is a bit disappointing I'm ok with that as long as there's no emotional bond - I think it's ok to not respond to someone's first or second message If people just think they wouldn't get along I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversation and seeing people changing priorities This is something I don't want to go through ever again for real If I'm really interested in someone's message - I respond within a matter of minutes - max 6 hours (If I'm in bed - just sleeping) you won't even hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I really was too busy to make time for others - I wouldn't be here.I either want to talk to someone..or not.I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike some people)
• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - just like me - just to describe your emotions through text. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough I just don't like emotionless messages.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"
• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you ) before moving to Discord or some other app
• Time response matters to me a lot! It matters to me whether I get a message back after one hour,three hours,6 hours or..12 hours and even..after a couple of days..And If you're another person just looking for one day conversation and then? "Disappear" for some amount of time longer than one day to come back and apologize me for being busy - don't even leave me a message.I just want to be honest with you from the start.I'm interested only in daily conversations
Why can’t you see any of my interests listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest,talkative,understanding,caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but in my personal opinion,common interests are important mainly when you want to find a gaming buddy (for example) or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's interests – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life– way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you!I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke
Friendships should be natural – not forced.Both people wanting to be friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.
I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I higly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :)
We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.
If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night)I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies.I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new.
You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that's something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance. But others see it as false hope. Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future.You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're only responsible for ourselves - not for others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on,forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because a therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you.Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out & feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else"
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others.Empathy is everything
Our world needs more peace 🤗 I've seen a lot of rude comments on reddit.If you don't agree with me - OK but please don't criticize me + Not everyone is here for some advice.
Listen people - I know how different my post is & I know It won't be easy for me to find what or rather who - I'm looking for BUT I always want to be myself instead of pretending someone I'm not and lying to others.I know It would be easier if (like others) I had less expectations but I I know what I want and honestly? If my post was different..I wouldn't be me.Even If I won't meet a person I'd get along with - that's ok! but don't give me any unwanted advice because I wouldn't change for someone who doesn't even know me pretty much as I wouldn't want to change anyone else.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.I'm not here to argue with anyone and to make fun of others.
Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abrreviations,If you don't need an emotional connection,If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship,to be natural which is why I want you to contact me If your needs are the same - I don't want you to try to change yourself only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.
I know It's possible to find what I'm looking for as I had conversations with people looking for exactly the same thing and being nice to me - I want to believe in my luck again as I had it a few times on reddit
No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests.I don't really like public conversations.I do not respond to comments so If you want to send me a message just do it without saying "You can DM me"
2023.03.26 13:04 xfallenangelx95 27/F after losing someone I thought I could be friends with - I'm slowly losing hope but I'm still here.I'm looking for people interested in daily conversation - People who are loners as well as I want to find someone in the same situation and people always fighting for a friendship.Only Europe
Only Europe Please- short note - If you're not into reading or receiving long messages,don't read any further + Please If you don't want to read everything because of my post being too long for you & instead of reading It all - ..skip some parts - find another person to talk to.Let's respect each other and our free time. All people criticizing/making fun of me & other people - will permanently be blocked.Pretty much as people questioning my post and giving me unwanted advice.I'm not here for any conflicts and I know I can't please everyone - I know I never will.. However It's me who should feel comfortable in my new potential friendship & obviously someone interested in being my friend - not the whole world which is why I don't need any advice from people who don't even want to be a part of my life.
Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent
(remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make any time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give you one word answer and ask you another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different🙂
What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
Do you ever feel like an option? Like a stranger to others despite knowing them for months or years & talking to them quite often? Like there's always something and someone more important than you and you just..don't fit in and no matter what you do - your effort is never appreciated?
I'm always the one texting people immediately (or at the very least trying to) no matter where I am and who I am with (family) others? Never - except for one exception.A really lovely person.
What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and without partners..Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them ( which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (Acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .. I also want to talk to others on a daily basis mainly because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..Why I'd rather talk to people from my continent? Well..Mainly because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - Especially given most people are always available on social media sites & keep their phones in a pocket.Once you receive & open my message - get back to me (If you're as serious as I am & really need a true friend) waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
I'm by no means criticising people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have non important conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason.All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.
Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life
I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people really are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message Don't let anyone lie to you.Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..
You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk daily? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally
I'm not trying to sound rude - I just don't want to meet new people and get emotionally attached - only to end up being left alone after weeks or months of daily conversations.I'm sick of that never ending story and always meeting people who ghost me without a single word (even if everything seems to be ok) or people who "change priorities" over time & become like strangers…I don't want to go through this ever again.
Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :)
It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make time for you.I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.
Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you. 🙂 I'm not really interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life.
• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in my post or messages and just focus on some question in a certain message or... when they don't ask me any questions themselves.
• No dirty messages PLEASE.I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. No NSWF profiles..I always check people's profiles (Even comment history) - To avoid guys,trying to get inappropriate photos from adult women or? flirt with them.I also absolutely don't respond to messages from people whose comments are very rude & obviously - Messages from people who judge other people and use vulgar words to describe them or? Make fun of them.Respect is very important
• Please only adult people 18-36 age range (I'm 27)
• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. Some people don't message me back as well and even though It is a bit disappointing I'm ok with that as long as there's no emotional bond - I think it's ok to not respond to someone's first or second message If people just think they wouldn't get along I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversation and seeing people changing priorities This is something I don't want to go through ever again for real If I'm really interested in someone's message - I respond within a matter of minutes - max 6 hours (If I'm in bed - just sleeping) you won't even hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I really was too busy to make time for others - I wouldn't be here.I either want to talk to someone..or not.I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike some people)
• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - just like me - just to describe your emotions through text. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough I just don't like emotionless messages.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"
• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you ) before moving to Discord or some other app
• Time response matters to me a lot! It matters to me whether I get a message back after one hour,three hours,6 hours or..12 hours and even..after a couple of days..And If you're another person just looking for one day conversation and then? "Disappear" for some amount of time longer than one day to come back and apologize me for being busy - don't even leave me a message.I just want to be honest with you from the start.I'm interested only in daily conversations
Why can’t you see any of my interests listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest,talkative,understanding,caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but in my personal opinion,common interests are important mainly when you want to find a gaming buddy (for example) or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's interests – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life– way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you!I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke
Friendships should be natural – not forced.Both people wanting to be friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.
I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I higly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :)
We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.
If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night)I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies.I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new.
You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that's something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance. But others see it as false hope. Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future. You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're only responsible for ourselves - not for others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on,forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because a therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you.Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out & feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else"
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others.Empathy is everything
Our world needs more peace 🤗 I've seen a lot of rude comments on reddit.If you don't agree with me - OK but please don't criticize me + Not everyone is here for some advice.
Listen people - I know how different my post is & I know It won't be easy for me to find what or rather who - I'm looking for BUT I always want to be myself instead of pretending someone I'm not and lying to others.I know It would be easier if (like others) I had less expectations but I I know what I want and honestly? If my post was different..I wouldn't be me.Even If I won't meet a person I'd get along with - that's ok! but don't give me any unwanted advice because I wouldn't change for someone who doesn't even know me pretty much as I wouldn't want to change anyone else.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.I'm not here to argue with anyone and to make fun of others.
Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abrreviations,If you don't need an emotional connection,If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship,to be natural which is why I want you to contact me If your needs are the same - I don't want you to try to change yourself only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.
I know It's possible to find what I'm looking for as I had conversations with people looking for exactly the same thing and being nice to me - I want to believe in my luck again as I had it a few times on reddit - I've recently lost someone I thought could be a friend of mine (such a perfect match) and I'm sad
No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests.I don't really like public conversations.I do not respond to comments so If you want to send me a message just do it without saying "You can DM me"
submitted by xfallenangelx95 to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]
Hello guys! 🙂 (read everything before you decide to send me a message) Please send me a message ONLY If you're in the same situation and If your expectations are the same as mine.I want to find like minded people from Europe (Why Europe? Read my post to find out) I'm looking for something permanent
(remember - you can feel lonely even If you're surrounded by others - If there's no emotional bond) I'm fed up of meeting people who never make any time for me & only text me once or twice a week to ask me "what are you up to?" Out of boredom.I don't want to meet people asking others a million of questions like "what's your favorite movie?" Just to give you one word answer and ask you another question "and music? Your favorite song?" I'm looking for something "deeper" & different🙂
What kind of friend would I like to find? Someone to talk to on a daily basis - Someone who needs It & wants It just as much as me
Do you ever feel like an option? Like a stranger to others despite knowing them for months or years & talking to them quite often? Like there's always something and someone more important than you and you just..don't fit in and no matter what you do - your effort is never appreciated?
I'm always the one texting people immediately (or at the very least trying to) no matter where I am and who I am with (family) others? Never - except for one exception.A really lovely person.
What are my expectations? I would like to meet someone in a similar situation – why? Because I honestly feel like only a person with the same expectations and a similar outlook on life would get along with me & because I feel more comfortable talking to people like me..Friendless people who need a strong bond - people without friends and without partners..Don't get me wrong…Most people deserve to be happy and It's good to have friends but people who have friends or families in real life are usually more focused on them ( which is completely understandable) & have less time for others + I simply don't want to be replaced by anyone..I kind of envy people who can call others , true friends given I don't have an emotional bond with any of my acquaintances. Whenever I hear that others have friends I simply get sad because (believe it or not) If I had to choose between 20 people to talk to (Acquaintances) and one special person - I'd choose that one special person without any hesitation .. I also want to talk to others on a daily basis mainly because..I want to see someone’s effort & be someone's first choice - not another person to have random conversations with..Why I'd rather talk to people from my continent? Well..Mainly because I would like to see someone I'd get along with - In the far future - face to face :) + I don't want to wait any longer than 6 hours to receive a message - Especially given most people are always available on social media sites & keep their phones in a pocket.Once you receive & open my message - get back to me (If you're as serious as I am & really need a true friend) waiting 6 hours to receive a message is more than enough
I'm by no means criticising people who don't want to talk to others often / People who really are super busy & People who want to find someone to have non important conversations with - I'm aware that not everyone has the same expectations which is why everything you're reading now - is here for a reason.All I'm suggesting is - I don't want anything temporary and I don't want to be the one always giving more than receiving.
Listen people - I used to ignore being..ignored by others..always being just an option to talk to during tough times or moments of boredom.I was too young to realize that I was never important enough for most people that were a part of my life
I don't know who needs to hear this but..No one is too busy to make time for you! People make excuses to avoid others because they prioritize everything and (maybe) everyone..over them. It's true that most people really are busy - but It takes only a few seconds to start a conversation (If you're into short messages) and a few minutes (1-10/15) to type a long message Don't let anyone lie to you.Truth is that most people either don't like you enough to make time for you or just simply - feel no need to talk to others often but are they too busy? No..
You don't need to send me a message just to ask me and tell me "Do you really want to talk daily? I like long messages but I can't promise to contact you often" If you really are unsure please don't send me a message.I don't need more acquaintances aka people to talk to - occasionally
I'm not trying to sound rude - I just don't want to meet new people and get emotionally attached - only to end up being left alone after weeks or months of daily conversations.I'm sick of that never ending story and always meeting people who ghost me without a single word (even if everything seems to be ok) or people who "change priorities" over time & become like strangers…I don't want to go through this ever again.
Let me tell you one thing – A true friend would never just give up on you for no reason :)
It’s always possible to find someone to have a random conversation with – someone willing to send you one message once or twice a week..but..It’s almost impossible to find people willing to make time for you.I’m not asking a busy person to make time for me by changing some plans! Absolutely not! I’m here to find someone who wants to talk daily (throughout the day or maybe even night) of one’s own will.Someone looking for the same kind of connection.
Strong friendships are based on mutual support. One of the best things you can do for a friend in need, is just to be there for them when they want to talk.I often see posts from people who always say how friendless they are because they don't feel loved or appreciated by their "friends" remember! A true friend - someone who truly likes you or someone who wants to get to know you - will always find time for you. 🙂 I'm not really interested in small talk/short messages - I love long and meaningful conversations. It's so easy to find someone who loves abbreviations and questions like "How are you?" How was your day? Or what are you interested in? But so hard/almost impossible to find a person who knows how to keep a conversation going & show others some effort.Building and maintaining friendships takes time and effort.Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relations with other people.Close friendships are so important to us because they are so difficult to form + Having friends can help you feel as if you belong to something that brings purpose and connection to your life.
• I do NOT respond to any „Hey,hmu” or „u want to talk” type of messages (super short messages or messages full of abbreviations – I literally can’t stand abbreviations and acronyms in text messages) ALL messages full of abbreviations will immediately be ignored.I also don't like it when people ignore everything I say in my post or messages and just focus on some question in a certain message or... when they don't ask me any questions themselves.
• No dirty messages PLEASE.I'm not looking for anyone to flirt with and I'm not looking for a partner either. No NSWF profiles..I always check people's profiles (Even comment history) - To avoid guys,trying to get inappropriate photos from adult women or? flirt with them.I also absolutely don't respond to messages from people whose comments are very rude & obviously - Messages from people who judge other people and use vulgar words to describe them or? Make fun of them.Respect is very important
• Please only adult people 18-36 age range (I'm 27)
• I don’t respond to messages I don’t find interesting even If they're long - If after receiving and reading your message I don't feel comfortable or think "I wouldn't get along with him/her" I simply do not respond (what I’m suggesting is that I don’t always respond to someone’s first or second message because..sometimes you just know If you’d get along with someone or not- I’d never ignore anyone after days or weeks of daily conversations though) just because I don’t want to do anything forcefully & because I don’t want to lead anyone on. Some people don't message me back as well and even though It is a bit disappointing I'm ok with that as long as there's no emotional bond - I think it's ok to not respond to someone's first or second message If people just think they wouldn't get along I can't stand being ignored after days or weeks of daily conversation and seeing people changing priorities This is something I don't want to go through ever again for real If I'm really interested in someone's message - I respond within a matter of minutes - max 6 hours (If I'm in bed - just sleeping) you won't even hear from me "I'm too busy" because I know myself and If I really was too busy to make time for others - I wouldn't be here.I either want to talk to someone..or not.I don't want to pretend someone I'm not and always try to find some cheap excuses to avoid others. (unlike some people)
• Don’t ask me “Can you tell me something about yourself?” If you really want to get to know me - you can ask me questions :) I'm an open book.
• It would be better If you guys were into emojis - just like me - just to describe your emotions through text. Two emojis - 🙂 and 🙁 are completely enough I just don't like emotionless messages.I also don't like it when people say "yeah" or yea"
• I want to talk on reddit first (just to make sure If I'd get along with you ) before moving to Discord or some other app
• Time response matters to me a lot! It matters to me whether I get a message back after one hour,three hours,6 hours or..12 hours and even..after a couple of days..And If you're another person just looking for one day conversation and then? "Disappear" for some amount of time longer than one day to come back and apologize me for being busy - don't even leave me a message.I just want to be honest with you from the start.I'm interested only in daily conversations
Why can’t you see any of my interests listed down below? Because what really matters to me is..who you are (If you’re honest,talkative,understanding,caring and trustworthy – for example) just simply – It matters to me what you’re like! not what you like.Don’t get me wrong – you can tell me what your hobbies are but in my personal opinion,common interests are important mainly when you want to find a gaming buddy (for example) or If you want to meet someone to hang out with in real life and..go bowling for example.What most people seem to care about are other people's interests – I don’t. I get along with other people despite having completely different hobbies but I absolutely don’t get along with people way different than me (different expectations and outlook on life– way different sense of humor or personality traits – It’s just an example) It doesn't make ANY DIFFERENCE to me If you're a gamer or? Someone interested in photography! It doesn't make any difference - > as long as you're talkative and kind and If you also want to find someone willing to stay in your life..for good - But If you're into small talk and all you want is to...type and receive super short messages or If you're here only because you're bored and don't know what to do + If you're a very sarcastic person - I'm definitely not for you!I don't get along with overly sarcastic people turning everything into a joke
Friendships should be natural – not forced.Both people wanting to be friends should feel comfortable and have something in common. No - not necessarily a similar taste in music or movies but something else..Most friendships don't fizzle out because of people not having the same hobbies but..because they just simply have different expectations when It comes to something important.
I'm not here out of boredom and trust me - I'm not here to meet as many people as possible.I choose quality over quantity.I higly value myself and my time & Sometimes one person but a person who makes you feel comfortable and understood - is more than enough :)
We ALL can choose what kind of people we’d like to talk to and maybe even become really good friends with and I? I don’t want anyone to be disappointed.We all have some expectations after all.
If you really need someone to talk to due to loneliness and If you have time to talk to me daily (throughout the day and maybe even night)I always make time for others.I'm literally always available.I could even stay up all night long only to talk to someone. I’m ready to commit but only If there’s some chemistry between me and someone else.I don’t do anything forcefully.
If you want to talk to me tell me your story - tell me why you're here, what kind of friend would you like to meet :) Et cetera.Such messages are way more interesting to me than...someone's long list of hobbies.I know! It's unusual on reddit but I don't make friends based on hobbies..I want to meet someone with the same mindset as mine to finally feel understood and get close to someone new.
You can share your problems with me - I absolutely don't mind "complaining" as I've been through a lot in my life.What do people usually tell you when you tell them that's something's wrong? "Don't complain" or "Life's not over yet - one day you'll be happy" or "There are worse situations than yours" and..obviously "Find a therapist" Life's not a fairytale and sometimes things don't go as planned.Emotions shouldn't be bottled up.I'm sick of people always telling others "everything's gonna be ok" move on " & more..Trust me people - not everyone wants to hear "Just believe in yourself and everything's gonna be ok" Some people take it as reassurance. But others see it as false hope. Imagine being told that things will be okay, only for them to get worse..Do you guys know why telling someone "everything's gonna be ok" Is wrong? Because you can't see the future. You can't guarantee others that one day they'll finally be happy + when It comes to social interactions - We're only responsible for ourselves - not for others & as you guys know people let us down quite often (sometimes even when there's no reason) so instead of telling people how they should move on,forget everything and be happy or asking them to find a therapist - be there for them! Always be willing to listen to them If you really like them or want to get to know them & don't suggest everyone in a tough situation to find a therapist because a therapist won't ever replace a true friend + It's quite normal to be disappointed If people always do something to hurt you.Sharing your hardships with other people in a very similar situation or exactly the same one - is VERY helpful If the other person understands you & wants to start all over by just letting it all out & feeling emotional support instead of always hearing some "positive quotes" or someone saying "Stop complaining let's talk about something else"
Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate sensitive people who always try to understand others.Empathy is everything
Our world needs more peace 🤗 I've seen a lot of rude comments on reddit.If you don't agree with me - OK but please don't criticize me + Not everyone is here for some advice.
Listen people - I know how different my post is & I know It won't be easy for me to find what or rather who - I'm looking for BUT I always want to be myself instead of pretending someone I'm not and lying to others.I know It would be easier if (like others) I had less expectations but I I know what I want and honestly? If my post was different..I wouldn't be me.Even If I won't meet a person I'd get along with - that's ok! but don't give me any unwanted advice because I wouldn't change for someone who doesn't even know me pretty much as I wouldn't want to change anyone else.I'm not trying to "fit in" and be like everyone else - just to get more attention.Accept me for who I am or let go - is my motto.I'm not here to argue with anyone and to make fun of others.
Please - If you're a completely different person than the described type of person I'm looking for (If you love abrreviations,If you don't need an emotional connection,If you're sarcastic and quiet) or If you simply disagree with my post - don't force yourself to send me a message.I want my new potential friendship,to be natural which is why I want you to contact me If your needs are the same - I don't want you to try to change yourself only to please me - Pretending to be someone you're not - is the worst.
I know It's possible to find what I'm looking for as I had conversations with people looking for exactly the same thing and being nice to me - I want to believe in my luck again as I had it a few times on reddit - I've recently lost someone I thought could be a friend of mine (such a perfect match) and I'm sad
No comments please.Only Private messages and chat requests.I don't really like public conversations.I do not respond to comments so If you want to send me a message just do it without saying "You can DM me"
2023.03.26 13:03 Chipofftheoldblock21 One broken bone - don’t get into gang fights
A few years ago at about 40 yo for the first and only time I broke a bone. I was biking down a path, looked down a sec while going down a hill and didn’t realize the path changed direction. Thought I’d make it until the space between the path I used to be on and a big cement drain access was about 2mm smaller than the width of my front tire. Endo, tuck and roll, but couldn’t move my arm. (Bike computer had my speed go from 20+ to zero quick!)
Turns out I broke my shoulder blade (not collar bone, shoulder blade). Evidently that’s hard to do. Looked up on WebMD at the time and they said it almost never happens on its own. The two most frequent ways people break their shoulder blade are 1) getting into a massive car accident (to which it notes, you likely have bigger problems as the rest of you is probably demolished) and 2) getting hit with a bat or a lead pipe in a gang fight.
It had standard format question and answer sections at the end. One was “How to avoid this injury in the future?” That offered the helpful advice, “Don’t get into gang fights.”
No broken bones before or since. What do you think, can I stay? Though it would perhaps be a better test if I got into a gang fight and made it through unscathed.
submitted by Chipofftheoldblock21 to Neverbrokeabone [link] [comments]
Turns out I broke my shoulder blade (not collar bone, shoulder blade). Evidently that’s hard to do. Looked up on WebMD at the time and they said it almost never happens on its own. The two most frequent ways people break their shoulder blade are 1) getting into a massive car accident (to which it notes, you likely have bigger problems as the rest of you is probably demolished) and 2) getting hit with a bat or a lead pipe in a gang fight.
It had standard format question and answer sections at the end. One was “How to avoid this injury in the future?” That offered the helpful advice, “Don’t get into gang fights.”
No broken bones before or since. What do you think, can I stay? Though it would perhaps be a better test if I got into a gang fight and made it through unscathed.
2023.03.26 12:55 BrigidKemmerer Talk to me about running/jogging with your GSD
I have a German shepherd puppy who's about 4 months old. I know she can't run with me yet, though we do the occasional short (50m) jog here and there on walks because she thinks it's the most fun thing ever to prance along beside me and then skid to a stop.
I am not a long distance runner, so the farthest I'll ever go is 2, maybe 3 miles. I'm also not fast. I just hit a running PR of 9:39/mile -- so I'm not breaking any land speed records, here.
But I've never run with a dog, and I can already tell she's going to be keen to run with me, so I'd love to know your thoughts on it. Tell me about your experiences running with your dogs. Do you use a hands-free leash? Several have already been advertised to me, either belt-style or over-the-shoulder style. Is there anything I should be aware of? Is this a terrible idea? Do I wait til she's a year? 18 months? There's conflicting information online, and I also think there's a big difference between going out for one mile vs. a lengthy trek of five miles. There's also a big difference between running a 7 min mile vs jogging an 11 min mile.
I'll ask my vet, too, the next time I go, but I'm still laughing at the look on her face when I asked about the rule of thumb about "no more than 5 minutes of exercise per month of age" that's all over the internet. She was basically like, "Um ... that doesn't really take breed into account."
All thoughts are welcome. 😊
submitted by BrigidKemmerer to germanshepherds [link] [comments]
I am not a long distance runner, so the farthest I'll ever go is 2, maybe 3 miles. I'm also not fast. I just hit a running PR of 9:39/mile -- so I'm not breaking any land speed records, here.
But I've never run with a dog, and I can already tell she's going to be keen to run with me, so I'd love to know your thoughts on it. Tell me about your experiences running with your dogs. Do you use a hands-free leash? Several have already been advertised to me, either belt-style or over-the-shoulder style. Is there anything I should be aware of? Is this a terrible idea? Do I wait til she's a year? 18 months? There's conflicting information online, and I also think there's a big difference between going out for one mile vs. a lengthy trek of five miles. There's also a big difference between running a 7 min mile vs jogging an 11 min mile.
I'll ask my vet, too, the next time I go, but I'm still laughing at the look on her face when I asked about the rule of thumb about "no more than 5 minutes of exercise per month of age" that's all over the internet. She was basically like, "Um ... that doesn't really take breed into account."
All thoughts are welcome. 😊
2023.03.26 12:54 Connect-Purpose-3474 The escapades of Becky G against her enemy Chloe Bennet
Our heroine Becky G is walking around the diva hotel, wearing only a red laced bra and draped bottoms, presenting her very toned abs held beneath her sun kissed skin, carrying her juicy thicc ass, swaying side to side with each step, as she looks for her opponent she’s scheduled to wrestle. That’s when she hears thudding steps running behind her. Before she can look behind her, she’s barged into by the running girl, sending her losing her footing, only to be only saved from falling by hitting the wall.’There you are’ says the runner, turning herself around to reveal herself as Chloe Bennet her rival. ‘So how about I just knock your ass out cold and end this feud, before I really get messy with you,’ says Chloe. Becky, chuckling, replies ‘This isn’t one of your shitty little tv shows, this is real life, where the great women kick ass, and the bitches take the beatings. I don’t want to hurt you Chloe, but if you touch me, you’re going to feel the fiesty side of me, and the fury of these fists wil end you.’ However, as Becky begins to hurt Chloe emotionally by dissing her, Chloe gives Becky a menacing look, and charges at her! Chloe grips Beckys biceps as she pushes Becky back with each step, her taller, thinner frame slightly towering over Becky. Chloe starts gaining momentum, as Becky heart starts sinking,pain clearly on her face, much to Chloes pleasure. Chloe pushes her into the door, and within her room with each step, and finally barrages Becky against the wall, Becky struggling to use her power against her rivals superior strength, due to her height. ‘Now who’s the superior woman’ cackles Chloe, as she plunges her fist into Beckys abs, making Becky whince, and knees her, making Becky crumble onto all fours, then is thrown across the floor a few centimetres by Chloes might. Chloe then quickly shoves her foot into Beckys asscheek, making the flesh ripple around it. ‘I just kicked your ass!’ Screams Chloe, laughing with extreme pleasure, ‘Latina bitch! U latinas are all the same, all talk, but no muscle, no threat. I’m not finished with you yet, I’ll prove to you who the “better woman” is!’Exclaims Chloe. This enrages Becky! ‘I can’t be humiliated by that cunt Becky!’ She thinks, ‘she’s gonna learn a lesson about latinas from this fiesty one’ Her eyes flame up, seeing red. She can’t bare to feel like less of a woman than Chloe bennet. So, when Chloe stomps over to Becky for some ground and pound, Becky rapidly elbows Chloe in the nose, making Chloe stumble back, and Becky pounces back up, like a cheetah, still feeling the pain of Chloes previous knee to the abs, and gives a strong right hook full of hate to Chloes face, after she was already recovering from her elbow, making her let out a little shriek of pain. Becky then uses her boxing skills to her advantage, taking full control of Chloes body, bruising her up and knocking her about the room with straight rights, until Chloes back hits the other side of the room, then body shots to Chloes stomach, Becky screaming with rage as she fires each fist, and Chloe screaming with pain, hunched over by the power of each shot Becky charges up. It looks like Chloe is ready to fall into unconsciousness by Beckys fists of fury any second now. But out of nowhere, Chloe manages to catch a fiery right hand from Becky to relinquish the punishment, making Beckys eyes widen. Before Becky can throw another cannon-like punch, Chloe grabs her other arm, leaving Becky unable to use those weapons of fists! Chloe knows she can’t outfight Becky, she isnt skilled enough, but she can outwrestle the smaller Becky, so that’s what she does. So Chloe, stumbling and near broken from the punishment she took, thrusts aside Becky into the wall, then Beckys pushed back into punishment. One headbutt by Chloe! 2 headbutts by Chloe! Becky needs to think fast, and before she is headbutted again, she pushes her foot into Chloes stomach with all the might she has left, shoving Chloe back, and freeing Beckys hands! Becky grabs Chloe and pushes her into the centre of the room. Becky follows her there, strutting toward her rival with confidence. Becky then charge up her shot and gives a straight right to Chloes face, followed by a hook to Chloes shoulder, and Chloe trades with a kick to the side of Becky and throws her off a couple steps by grabbing the laces of her bra and pushing her aside. They then both run into each other, and due to the punch Chloe has just taken to her shoulder, Becky just about is able to muscle Chloe about as she clutches her and begins to outmuscled and push Chloe toward the gap between the corner of the room and the bed. Her back completely arched forward, ass jiggling with each step she pushes Chloe forward. She exclaims, with her high pitched voice, a cute little ‘YARGH!’ as she gets Chloe and her in between the gap, Becky leading the charge of assault, and knees Chloe right in her abs, which are weaker and less defined than the latinas aesthetically chiselled set. This leads Chloe to flee a few steps away from her rival, currently kicking her ass and showing her what a real woman is. Chloe then fights against her pain and rotates 180 degrees with speed, sending a missile of a hand, a 1 in 1000 shot, that Becky hardly sees before it hits her face, completely connecting. The knockout-worthy punch leaves Becky scrawling away, and falling beside the wall. Still conscious. But barely. She is a wise fighter, so she knows at this point that if the fight continues this way, Chloe will end up heaving Becky above the ground, and throwing her back down, crashing her into unconsciousness and humiliation. She knew the only way to defeating her rival was by sending a spectacular stunt to her, while Chloe still hadn’t fully recovered. Chloe throws her arms onto Beckys bra laces, and shakes her up and down, Beckys heavenly, angelic body suspended by her bra, and being conquered by Chloe. ‘YOU BROKE MY NOSE IN THAT FIGHT YOU FUCKER IMGONNAKILLYOU!’ Beckys hand desperately searches upon the table besides her for any weapon as Chloe begins strangling Becky, draining the life away from her. A vase, that’s it! Beckys hand, carrying the vase, crashes upon Chloes head leaving a shard scratch or two, and resulting in Chloe jerking back to recover. Becky recovers her breath and is once again rushed with fight adrenaline ‘How about the jaw too?’ Says Becky in badass fashion as she eyes up her opponent for her next attack. Chloe starts darting forward, ‘break my jaw! Your gonna get your ass handed to you now latina!’ Becky then leverages one leg on top of the bed, back turned to Chloe, jumps up just before Chloe grabs her again, rotating mid jump in elegant fashion, forming a sprawling knee with her other leg, and grabs Chloes head, pulling her into the knee that crashes into Chloes face, sounding a CRACK from Chloes jaw! Becky lands in a feline-like position on all fours, and turns behind to check whether that was enough for her rival. Chloe was hardly conscious, cradling her hand on her nose and jaw. It clearly was enough; she wasn’t foolish enough to get back up. Becky lay down and caught her breath. She had taken a beating, but nonetheless, the electric spark of physical victory and conquering of her rival rushed through her. She let out a laugh. She was just able to prove her feminine superiority over her villainous enemy! ‘I almost feel sorry for u Chloe’ remarks Becky, ‘but I told you, the better woman wins’ and with that, Becky leaves, victorious.
submitted by Connect-Purpose-3474 to CelebrityFistFights [link] [comments]
2023.03.26 12:47 CreditMission A Day with a Dog ( a HwP fanfic)
Howdy, thought I'd write a fanfic in its purest form. Taking characters which are not mine and bending them to my will.
Ever since Slanek's little dog problem, always wanted him to have a meet up with the honeybadger. So here we are.
Special thanks to u/Banancake for permission to use Vikri.
Thanks to SP15 for Slanek and the universe.
Warning potential spoilers for Hunting with Predators.
As for Slanek, assuming shore leave post successful evac from Sillis.
Thanks for reading.
Memory transcript: Slanek, Venlil Space Corps
Date [standardized human time]: December 22, 2136
The sky was grey, with white powder raining relentlessly. Thick snow was piled up on the sides of the road which itself had a fine coat; the layered black lines carved by other traffic the only effort keeping it clear. In this weather they would be quickly erased, leaving the long power cable strung between frequent poles the only indicator of the road’s existence. The UN driver accompanying me had been quiet for a while now, focusing hard ahead, gripping the steering wheel despite the autonomous nature of our ride. All I could do was look out and survey the scenery, trying to calm my beating heart as our destination grew closer.
The landscape was muted in shape by its icy covering, only broken by the dark shapes of imposing trees; sometimes sparse, sometimes grouped to form a forest. Despite their stillness, they put me on edge. There were wolves out there, hiding in their shadows. Dogs were terrifying, despite Marcel’s frequent reminders that they were loyal and would not harm me, I could not shake that fear. But wolves, they were big, they were wild, and they were skilled at the hunt. Their existence would not have been tolerated on any other federation planet. Speh! They shouldn’t be tolerated here.
My concern when voiced was brushed off. Just stay in the car they said. Don’t stray from the town. But I had made the mistake of looking them up on the internet and had seen their hideous form. Compared to the terror of their fangs, this car felt awfully flimsy.
Regret once again began to seep in, but I shook it from my head. I refuse to disappoint Marcel again. Time and again my stupid fear of predators gets in the way. I loved Marcel, I accepted his nature. But that wasn’t enough. Tillis proved I had a long way to go before we could be on equal terms. Once again, he forgave me. Understood me. But surely there is a limit. I can’t rely on his kindness forever. I must be better.
As we drove a green sign caught my eye, standing out against the monotonous background. “HAMILTON 17”
A small town, deep in the wilderness. Since the bombing, it had lost a lot of its population due to the collapse of the supply network. Even those far from the bombing were still turned into refugees. However, it had recently served as a rendezvous point for some survivors from the battle of Earth. One, in particular, I had arranged to see.
Driving through town, it was clear some life had returned to it, though you could hardly call it bustling. A lit window here, a pedestrian there. Cars were few and far between. The house that was our destination was on the outskirts, part of the last remnants before the wilderness began. Why would a venlil choose to live in such a dangerous place like this? Is this not the definition of straying from town? A month ago I would have diagnosed this guy with predator disease but now I knew that to be somewhat ignorant. Stars, according to Marcel, I would have predator disease. That label stung, though I couldn’t dismiss it. But I wasn’t broken, was I? Defective? Surely not. Not to him at least. No, I was the best venlil, his words. ‘bout time I actually lived up to that high praise.
Upon pulling up at the house, a venlil came out to greet us. I was thankful to see that his…companion was elsewhere, hopefully secure. His tail curled around him slightly with unease though his ears were relaxed, dipping slightly to acknowledge my approach.
“Greetings Vikri, I’m Slanek. Thank you for agreeing to meet with me,” I gave a respectful ear flick in greeting.
“The pleasure is mine,” he replied, returning the greeting, his lips parting slightly revealing teeth though they were quickly hidden. “I am honoured to meet someone of your acclaim.” Acclaim? Me? “Sorry you had to come all this way but I’m reluctant to travel with her at the moment.”
His companion was why I was here, but to hear such casual reference to it was discomforting. I felt my ears press against my head in response, consciously moving them back to a neutral position.
“Would you like to come in?” He moved to open the door.
“Is…she…” I stammered. He gave a reassuring tail wag.
“She’s in the barn over there,” he said gesturing to a large wooden building some distance away. “Thought we might want to take this slowly. I know how terrifying dogs can be.” He gave a shudder.
Wait, he was scared of dogs too? This doesn’t make any sense. Didn’t he have predator’s disease?
“You’re scared of her?” I asked, incredulous.
“Not now, no. But I was. Terrified.” He looked out to the woods. “We were hunted by them you know. Wolves. Lucky was one of them.” His arms and tail wrapped around his body. “They are terrifying. Their persistence, their violence. They attacked my friends. Nearly ripped their arm off…I can still hear his screaming. See the blood.”
I was at a loss for words
“Then how…why…”
“Why did I befriend her?” He laughed softly. “It’s a long story. Come in. Are you familiar with human tea?”
“I have heard of it,” I replied, moving past him into the building and out of the cold.
--------
The room I entered was sparsely decorated, the furnishings that did fill the meagre space were mismatched and well-worn, with most being of wooden construction. On one wall was what appeared to be a strayu forge constructed of brick, though its opening was at ground level and covered with a metal plate adorned with simple imprints of Terran animals. I sat on a chair made of wood and cloth, perched upon two wooden arches that were unstable by design. Without care it would rock violently, risking the contents of the hot cup handed to me. Vikri occupied the only other chair in the room, notable for having a more respectable 4 legs.
“Have you seen humans hunt?” Vikri asked too casually, causing me to fumble the cup of steaming red liquid I was bringing to my lips. A scorching drop hit my leg.
“Uh, p-persistance hunting correct? Sounds terrifying,” I stammered, rubbing the sore, damp spot on my thigh.
“Not always,” he spoke steadily. “They are…adaptive. Tell me, how do you picture them, as they prepare to kill?”
The image of sharp teeth penetrated my head, moist lips drawn up in a snarl. Their binocular eyes locked on the living creature with hunger as it desperately tried to avoid its gruesome fate. I shook my head to clear it. These visions had finally disappeared after spending so long with Marcel. Why would Vikri reconjure them?
“Fearsome,” I replied. “Delighting in the hunt…like the Arxur.” Even though they still chose to eat meat, I’m glad they had done away with this savage past. Growing it was not dissimilar to plant farming in execution, though the mere thought of it still turned my stomach.
He nodded slowly, staring at me in the eye. A very human gesture.
“Yes, that’s what I expected too. Surely a people built around death would delight in it no?” His gaze softened. “But when the moment came, they were afraid. No blood lust, no savagery. Only quiet resolve” Vikri’s eyes broke contact as he reminisced. “I was scared too. But for them. They needed to do this to survive, and I feel that was the only reason they persevered.”
“You saw them hunt?” I interjected. His ears flicked the affirmative.
“And cook. And eat. It was necessary.” He appeared to study his drink. “But the meat, they enjoyed it. That was confronting. A part of me hoped they wouldn’t. But who was I to speak out against their simple pleasures in the snow and ice. After all they’d done for me.”
“I came to understand the hunters, but that means nothing when you are the prey. Wolfs set upon us, hunting us for hours. Their attacks viscous. Humans were one thing, but these were monsters. It was everything we were taught about predators and more.” He shuddered again.
“In the attack, many were injured. Quarek lost use of his arm. Tenga received life-threatening injuries too.”
I recognised Querek’s name but “Tenga?”
“Uh, he’s a…he was my human. If you understand.” I did.
“We killed a lot of them too, and good riddance I thought. But even after we escaped one kept following. If we had the rounds to spare I would have asked it be shot. But Tenga, he wasn’t like me. He pitied it. She was only trying to survive, like us, he said. Imagine that.” He scoffed. “Compassion for the predators that almost killed you… But he wasn’t wrong.”
“The dog just kept on following us. Devouring any snacks we threw her way but never attacking. It was stressful but if Tenga said she was safe, then I could only believe him. She apparently wanted a pack and the humans welcomed her. Named her Lucky.”
“I was still nervous but then we got attacked by an even bigger predator. A bear. It had me trapped and Lucky ran in to protect me. That dog chose me as someone she needed to protect. How could I dismiss her after that?” He stood up and walked to the window, staring at the barn in the distance. “She’s my partner now. As silly as that sounds. Part of my herd.” He turned back to me, his tail flicking in excitement, his ears showing apprehension. “So, do you still want to meet her?”
_____
Walking through the snow was an odd sensation. It stuck to my legs and penetrated my fur. My feet were quickly sapped of their heat but at least the air temperature was quite tolerable. My posture was hunched with my tail curled around me, but not from the cold.
Vikri ambled ahead, an ever so slight limp to his gait but otherwise confident, a small pouch was attached to a strap around his waist. It wasn’t long before we stood before imposing wooden doors. I heard a faint scratching and panting from the other side.
“I’ll go in first and keep her calm. I’ll call you when we’re ready.” With familiarity, he unlatched the door and cracked it open. A moist snout quickly appeared through the gap which he gently redirected inside before squeezing himself in.
“Good girl, good girl. We’re going to meet a friend so best behaviour alright.”
The sound of panting intensified as I heard movement from within.
“Ok, when you are ready,” he called out.
“Oh, Stars!”
With tentative movements I approached the gap, squeezing my head in to survey.
Next to Vikri sat a fearsome creature reaching up to his chest in height, covered in gray and white fur. Its maw hung open showing its moist pink tongue and many sharp teeth. The only thing restraining it was a thin strap held firmly in Vikri’s paws.
“Arf!” it barked.
I stumbled backwards, falling into the snow. The impact sent sharp pains through my injured shoulder, a seeping cold reaching my rear.
“You okay?” A concerned voice called out.
“Ah, yes, I’m fine. Ju-just stay in there okay,” I whimpered. Get a hold of yourself Slanek! You’ve faced down arxur for stars sake.
Gingerly righting myself, I approached again. With a few deep breaths, I shut my eyes and hastily stepped into the barn, closing the door behind me. No retreat!
Upon opening my eyes, I was greeted by the sight of the pair in the same position I left them.
“Just walk up to me Slanek. You’re completely safe,” Vikri encouraged, gently stroking the dogs head. The dog’s eyes remained locked on me.
Alright, confidence soldier. Forward march.
Keeping them both in focus I approached, the dog pivoting its head as it tracked me.
Reaching Vikri I froze. I could touch the dog if I wanted.
“Okay, reach out and place your paw on the back of her neck,” Vikri prompted.
I slowly complied, gently making contact with the dogs fur. It was coarser than I expected. As I dug in deeper I could feel the body heat. The dog craned its head back to look at me, making a quiet whine in their throat.
“Very good, she likes it. You can touch her head too.”
I moved my hand up, the softness of the scruff giving way to the more solid bone. Their ears depressed slightly as I pushed them down, but I was very gentle, ears could be sensitive. I was resting my hand on the top of a predator’s head, just above their golden binocular eyes that were staring into mine. I was ok.
“Good girl,” I said tentatively. I caught Vikri’s approving tail flick.
“Want to hold the leash?” he offered. “Take her for a walk.”
This was progressing fast. Could I control a predator?
“I’ll try.” Vikri pressed the strap in my hand and took half a step away.
Despite the slackness in the strap, the dog remained seated, her head snapping to follow her master.
“Up!” he said, and she rose to all fours. “Good girl,” he praised, pulling a small item from his pouch and offering it to her with open paw. The dog moved towards him, jolting my arm slightly as I moved to follow. Their pink tongue shot out and secured the morsel, their jaws closing and chewing with an audible crunch.
“Is that bone?” I asked, disgusted.
“Just a biscuit,” he replied, offering one to me. I grabbed it and on inspection, it was a small dry square that was a dark red colour. It appeared to have been baked hard, but not so much that it couldn’t be broken by teeth.
“It does contain meat though, so don’t eat it.” I felt my stomach shift, as I held it as far away from me as possible, barely resisting the urge to throw it away. The dog saw this as an opportunity and deftly snatched it from my paw before I could even register what was happening.
Crunch, crunch
All that remained was a slightly damp patch on my pad as a shiver went up my arm and resonated throughout my body.
“All right! Let’s go!” Vikri headed towards the door, his tail wagging in amusement. Lucky followed him, dragging me stumbling behind. The answer was no. I could not control a predator.
-----
Vikri walked with purpose, casually waving greetings to anyone we passed, be they in car or on foot. Lucky paced along beside him with me on her other flank, the leash slack between us. He was in a different league from me in embracing human customs, even after I had come so far with Marcel. A feeling of defeat crept in, but I kept it at bay. I was expecting this. It was why I had pursued this meeting.
The fallen snow thickened and the thinning signs of civilisation fell behind us, trees becoming more common. This was definitely straying out of town.
“Aren’t there wolves out here?” I asked nervously, ears high and alert.
“Not this close to town. To many humans,” he replied matter of fact. “Just wild enough to have fun.” He stopped, surveying the surroundings. “Want to set her loose?”
“Huh?” He gestured to lucky with his tail.
“Unclip her leash and let her frolic,” he clarified. What a terrifying notion, but if I didn’t trust him what was the point of me coming? My paws fumbled with the mechanism attaching the leash to her collar, eventually disconnecting it. For a few seconds she sat there, indifferent to the lack of restraint until Vikri gave her an energetic pat.
“Go!” he barked, and a grey-white blur shot off into the snow, remarkably quiet considering the speed. Suddenly she faltered, tumbling into a bank, sending white powder flying. Rolling around to right herself, she sped off again until she found another suitable snow bank to throw herself into. Vikri watched on with a relaxed expression.
“Care to join her?” He asked. I marked my incredulity to him, but he dismissed it. With a loud yelp he ran after her, throwing himself into a previously disturbed snow pile. Instantly the dog was upon him, digging and barking, Vikri’s limbs flailing as he contended with his attacker. My heart leapt into my throat as the nightmare unfolded. Reaching instinctively for my sidearm, my fear began to turn to panic on realisation it wasn’t there. What do I do? Run? No! I’ve got to help. But how? I was frozen.
After a short tussle, Vikri easily pushed her off, sending her running in another direction. The now patchy white venlil returned to my side, breathing heavily.
“She’s so full of energy,” he wheezed, ignoring my frozen expression of terror.
“You’re incredible,” I responded, trying to regain my composure. To shrug off an attack like that. Even if Marcel did something similar to me I fear how I’d react, and I knew him to be sapient and kind.
“Hardly,” he dismissed, “I’ve just had to learn.” He took a moment to catch his breath.
“Thank you for coming Slanek.” His sudden gratitude caught me off-guard. “It means a lot.”
“You’re the one helping me,” I reminded.
“Yes, but you reached out. To a broken venlil like me.” He looked at me and bared his teeth in an attempt at a human smile.
“You’re held in high regard, it’s how I heard about you.”
“By humans maybe,” he clarified. “Doubt most venlil will be understanding. Only the bravest.” He nudged me with his tail.
“Marcel seems to think I have predator disease, so I don’t think anything I do should give you much comfort,” I confessed.
“Do you think you have predator disease?” he asked, staring at me.
“No…I… uh…it’s complicated. I thought it. I was normal, I think.” He didn’t break his gaze. There was a pit in my stomach, Marcel’s recent criticisms stinging anew.
“I don’t know anymore. I want to believe I’m the same, normal venlil that left Venlil Prime, but I know that can’t be true. It hurts.”
Vikri stopped staring, focusing more on the dog as it played.
“I always thought it was something you were born with, a defect,” he paused. “Now I fear it’s more a contagion.”
“Exterminators were always concerned about predator corruption spreading,” I added, images from Tillfish flamethrowers worming their way into my head. “Hang with predators and you’re bound to catch something.”
“Do you think I have predator disease?” He asked. Despite the seriousness of tone, it almost made me smile. That was my diagnosis from the start. But maybe not the worst thing.
“It colours your fur. Too much human’s rubbed off on you.” This time I gave him a playful nudge. Despite my indication of joking, Vikri remained pensive, still just watching for the dog. Trying to catch his eye, I flicked an apology, “Sorry, I don’t think you’re sick…really.”
“No, no,” he responded, moving an eye back to me. “To be honest I want that. To acknowledge them changing me and all. Otherwise, what was the point?” His gaze drifted back to Lucky. “No, I am different now. He changed me and I can never go back. It’s all I have left of him now anyway.” The last part almost disappeared into a whisper. I sidled up to him in support, wrapping my tail around his. I felt sick at the sorrow he must be experiencing, for it was what I feared most.
“I’m sure he’s proud of what you’ve become.” I encouraged.
“Un” Vikri gave an affirmative flick.
“Raising a dog for star’s sake. He’d definitely think you are the best venlil.”
“Un”
“And for the little it’s worth, I do too.” He didn’t respond directly to that one, but he did press in closer.
“I do miss my old life though,” he continued after some time, his voice recovering. “Though I don’t think I’ll ever go back to Prime. Not with her.”
I shrugged. “There are currently thousands of humans on Prime. We can only pray to the stars that predator disease is as contagious as we’ve experienced,” I chuckled softly.
“Wouldn’t that be something,” he mused.
I was hopeful. Humans had lived up to our greatest fears. They were manipulative, changing whatever they touched to their own ideal. And stars if they weren’t persistent. Once you were their prey, they would not stop until they had you. The evidence was here. Two venlil, standing on an alien world, happily watching an apex predator play before us. Changed forever by the nature of predators.
submitted by CreditMission to u/CreditMission [link] [comments]
Ever since Slanek's little dog problem, always wanted him to have a meet up with the honeybadger. So here we are.
Special thanks to u/Banancake for permission to use Vikri.
Thanks to SP15 for Slanek and the universe.
Warning potential spoilers for Hunting with Predators.
As for Slanek, assuming shore leave post successful evac from Sillis.
Thanks for reading.
Memory transcript: Slanek, Venlil Space Corps
Date [standardized human time]: December 22, 2136
The sky was grey, with white powder raining relentlessly. Thick snow was piled up on the sides of the road which itself had a fine coat; the layered black lines carved by other traffic the only effort keeping it clear. In this weather they would be quickly erased, leaving the long power cable strung between frequent poles the only indicator of the road’s existence. The UN driver accompanying me had been quiet for a while now, focusing hard ahead, gripping the steering wheel despite the autonomous nature of our ride. All I could do was look out and survey the scenery, trying to calm my beating heart as our destination grew closer.
The landscape was muted in shape by its icy covering, only broken by the dark shapes of imposing trees; sometimes sparse, sometimes grouped to form a forest. Despite their stillness, they put me on edge. There were wolves out there, hiding in their shadows. Dogs were terrifying, despite Marcel’s frequent reminders that they were loyal and would not harm me, I could not shake that fear. But wolves, they were big, they were wild, and they were skilled at the hunt. Their existence would not have been tolerated on any other federation planet. Speh! They shouldn’t be tolerated here.
My concern when voiced was brushed off. Just stay in the car they said. Don’t stray from the town. But I had made the mistake of looking them up on the internet and had seen their hideous form. Compared to the terror of their fangs, this car felt awfully flimsy.
Regret once again began to seep in, but I shook it from my head. I refuse to disappoint Marcel again. Time and again my stupid fear of predators gets in the way. I loved Marcel, I accepted his nature. But that wasn’t enough. Tillis proved I had a long way to go before we could be on equal terms. Once again, he forgave me. Understood me. But surely there is a limit. I can’t rely on his kindness forever. I must be better.
As we drove a green sign caught my eye, standing out against the monotonous background. “HAMILTON 17”
A small town, deep in the wilderness. Since the bombing, it had lost a lot of its population due to the collapse of the supply network. Even those far from the bombing were still turned into refugees. However, it had recently served as a rendezvous point for some survivors from the battle of Earth. One, in particular, I had arranged to see.
Driving through town, it was clear some life had returned to it, though you could hardly call it bustling. A lit window here, a pedestrian there. Cars were few and far between. The house that was our destination was on the outskirts, part of the last remnants before the wilderness began. Why would a venlil choose to live in such a dangerous place like this? Is this not the definition of straying from town? A month ago I would have diagnosed this guy with predator disease but now I knew that to be somewhat ignorant. Stars, according to Marcel, I would have predator disease. That label stung, though I couldn’t dismiss it. But I wasn’t broken, was I? Defective? Surely not. Not to him at least. No, I was the best venlil, his words. ‘bout time I actually lived up to that high praise.
Upon pulling up at the house, a venlil came out to greet us. I was thankful to see that his…companion was elsewhere, hopefully secure. His tail curled around him slightly with unease though his ears were relaxed, dipping slightly to acknowledge my approach.
“Greetings Vikri, I’m Slanek. Thank you for agreeing to meet with me,” I gave a respectful ear flick in greeting.
“The pleasure is mine,” he replied, returning the greeting, his lips parting slightly revealing teeth though they were quickly hidden. “I am honoured to meet someone of your acclaim.” Acclaim? Me? “Sorry you had to come all this way but I’m reluctant to travel with her at the moment.”
His companion was why I was here, but to hear such casual reference to it was discomforting. I felt my ears press against my head in response, consciously moving them back to a neutral position.
“Would you like to come in?” He moved to open the door.
“Is…she…” I stammered. He gave a reassuring tail wag.
“She’s in the barn over there,” he said gesturing to a large wooden building some distance away. “Thought we might want to take this slowly. I know how terrifying dogs can be.” He gave a shudder.
Wait, he was scared of dogs too? This doesn’t make any sense. Didn’t he have predator’s disease?
“You’re scared of her?” I asked, incredulous.
“Not now, no. But I was. Terrified.” He looked out to the woods. “We were hunted by them you know. Wolves. Lucky was one of them.” His arms and tail wrapped around his body. “They are terrifying. Their persistence, their violence. They attacked my friends. Nearly ripped their arm off…I can still hear his screaming. See the blood.”
I was at a loss for words
“Then how…why…”
“Why did I befriend her?” He laughed softly. “It’s a long story. Come in. Are you familiar with human tea?”
“I have heard of it,” I replied, moving past him into the building and out of the cold.
--------
The room I entered was sparsely decorated, the furnishings that did fill the meagre space were mismatched and well-worn, with most being of wooden construction. On one wall was what appeared to be a strayu forge constructed of brick, though its opening was at ground level and covered with a metal plate adorned with simple imprints of Terran animals. I sat on a chair made of wood and cloth, perched upon two wooden arches that were unstable by design. Without care it would rock violently, risking the contents of the hot cup handed to me. Vikri occupied the only other chair in the room, notable for having a more respectable 4 legs.
“Have you seen humans hunt?” Vikri asked too casually, causing me to fumble the cup of steaming red liquid I was bringing to my lips. A scorching drop hit my leg.
“Uh, p-persistance hunting correct? Sounds terrifying,” I stammered, rubbing the sore, damp spot on my thigh.
“Not always,” he spoke steadily. “They are…adaptive. Tell me, how do you picture them, as they prepare to kill?”
The image of sharp teeth penetrated my head, moist lips drawn up in a snarl. Their binocular eyes locked on the living creature with hunger as it desperately tried to avoid its gruesome fate. I shook my head to clear it. These visions had finally disappeared after spending so long with Marcel. Why would Vikri reconjure them?
“Fearsome,” I replied. “Delighting in the hunt…like the Arxur.” Even though they still chose to eat meat, I’m glad they had done away with this savage past. Growing it was not dissimilar to plant farming in execution, though the mere thought of it still turned my stomach.
He nodded slowly, staring at me in the eye. A very human gesture.
“Yes, that’s what I expected too. Surely a people built around death would delight in it no?” His gaze softened. “But when the moment came, they were afraid. No blood lust, no savagery. Only quiet resolve” Vikri’s eyes broke contact as he reminisced. “I was scared too. But for them. They needed to do this to survive, and I feel that was the only reason they persevered.”
“You saw them hunt?” I interjected. His ears flicked the affirmative.
“And cook. And eat. It was necessary.” He appeared to study his drink. “But the meat, they enjoyed it. That was confronting. A part of me hoped they wouldn’t. But who was I to speak out against their simple pleasures in the snow and ice. After all they’d done for me.”
“I came to understand the hunters, but that means nothing when you are the prey. Wolfs set upon us, hunting us for hours. Their attacks viscous. Humans were one thing, but these were monsters. It was everything we were taught about predators and more.” He shuddered again.
“In the attack, many were injured. Quarek lost use of his arm. Tenga received life-threatening injuries too.”
I recognised Querek’s name but “Tenga?”
“Uh, he’s a…he was my human. If you understand.” I did.
“We killed a lot of them too, and good riddance I thought. But even after we escaped one kept following. If we had the rounds to spare I would have asked it be shot. But Tenga, he wasn’t like me. He pitied it. She was only trying to survive, like us, he said. Imagine that.” He scoffed. “Compassion for the predators that almost killed you… But he wasn’t wrong.”
“The dog just kept on following us. Devouring any snacks we threw her way but never attacking. It was stressful but if Tenga said she was safe, then I could only believe him. She apparently wanted a pack and the humans welcomed her. Named her Lucky.”
“I was still nervous but then we got attacked by an even bigger predator. A bear. It had me trapped and Lucky ran in to protect me. That dog chose me as someone she needed to protect. How could I dismiss her after that?” He stood up and walked to the window, staring at the barn in the distance. “She’s my partner now. As silly as that sounds. Part of my herd.” He turned back to me, his tail flicking in excitement, his ears showing apprehension. “So, do you still want to meet her?”
_____
Walking through the snow was an odd sensation. It stuck to my legs and penetrated my fur. My feet were quickly sapped of their heat but at least the air temperature was quite tolerable. My posture was hunched with my tail curled around me, but not from the cold.
Vikri ambled ahead, an ever so slight limp to his gait but otherwise confident, a small pouch was attached to a strap around his waist. It wasn’t long before we stood before imposing wooden doors. I heard a faint scratching and panting from the other side.
“I’ll go in first and keep her calm. I’ll call you when we’re ready.” With familiarity, he unlatched the door and cracked it open. A moist snout quickly appeared through the gap which he gently redirected inside before squeezing himself in.
“Good girl, good girl. We’re going to meet a friend so best behaviour alright.”
The sound of panting intensified as I heard movement from within.
“Ok, when you are ready,” he called out.
“Oh, Stars!”
With tentative movements I approached the gap, squeezing my head in to survey.
Next to Vikri sat a fearsome creature reaching up to his chest in height, covered in gray and white fur. Its maw hung open showing its moist pink tongue and many sharp teeth. The only thing restraining it was a thin strap held firmly in Vikri’s paws.
“Arf!” it barked.
I stumbled backwards, falling into the snow. The impact sent sharp pains through my injured shoulder, a seeping cold reaching my rear.
“You okay?” A concerned voice called out.
“Ah, yes, I’m fine. Ju-just stay in there okay,” I whimpered. Get a hold of yourself Slanek! You’ve faced down arxur for stars sake.
Gingerly righting myself, I approached again. With a few deep breaths, I shut my eyes and hastily stepped into the barn, closing the door behind me. No retreat!
Upon opening my eyes, I was greeted by the sight of the pair in the same position I left them.
“Just walk up to me Slanek. You’re completely safe,” Vikri encouraged, gently stroking the dogs head. The dog’s eyes remained locked on me.
Alright, confidence soldier. Forward march.
Keeping them both in focus I approached, the dog pivoting its head as it tracked me.
Reaching Vikri I froze. I could touch the dog if I wanted.
“Okay, reach out and place your paw on the back of her neck,” Vikri prompted.
I slowly complied, gently making contact with the dogs fur. It was coarser than I expected. As I dug in deeper I could feel the body heat. The dog craned its head back to look at me, making a quiet whine in their throat.
“Very good, she likes it. You can touch her head too.”
I moved my hand up, the softness of the scruff giving way to the more solid bone. Their ears depressed slightly as I pushed them down, but I was very gentle, ears could be sensitive. I was resting my hand on the top of a predator’s head, just above their golden binocular eyes that were staring into mine. I was ok.
“Good girl,” I said tentatively. I caught Vikri’s approving tail flick.
“Want to hold the leash?” he offered. “Take her for a walk.”
This was progressing fast. Could I control a predator?
“I’ll try.” Vikri pressed the strap in my hand and took half a step away.
Despite the slackness in the strap, the dog remained seated, her head snapping to follow her master.
“Up!” he said, and she rose to all fours. “Good girl,” he praised, pulling a small item from his pouch and offering it to her with open paw. The dog moved towards him, jolting my arm slightly as I moved to follow. Their pink tongue shot out and secured the morsel, their jaws closing and chewing with an audible crunch.
“Is that bone?” I asked, disgusted.
“Just a biscuit,” he replied, offering one to me. I grabbed it and on inspection, it was a small dry square that was a dark red colour. It appeared to have been baked hard, but not so much that it couldn’t be broken by teeth.
“It does contain meat though, so don’t eat it.” I felt my stomach shift, as I held it as far away from me as possible, barely resisting the urge to throw it away. The dog saw this as an opportunity and deftly snatched it from my paw before I could even register what was happening.
Crunch, crunch
All that remained was a slightly damp patch on my pad as a shiver went up my arm and resonated throughout my body.
“All right! Let’s go!” Vikri headed towards the door, his tail wagging in amusement. Lucky followed him, dragging me stumbling behind. The answer was no. I could not control a predator.
-----
Vikri walked with purpose, casually waving greetings to anyone we passed, be they in car or on foot. Lucky paced along beside him with me on her other flank, the leash slack between us. He was in a different league from me in embracing human customs, even after I had come so far with Marcel. A feeling of defeat crept in, but I kept it at bay. I was expecting this. It was why I had pursued this meeting.
The fallen snow thickened and the thinning signs of civilisation fell behind us, trees becoming more common. This was definitely straying out of town.
“Aren’t there wolves out here?” I asked nervously, ears high and alert.
“Not this close to town. To many humans,” he replied matter of fact. “Just wild enough to have fun.” He stopped, surveying the surroundings. “Want to set her loose?”
“Huh?” He gestured to lucky with his tail.
“Unclip her leash and let her frolic,” he clarified. What a terrifying notion, but if I didn’t trust him what was the point of me coming? My paws fumbled with the mechanism attaching the leash to her collar, eventually disconnecting it. For a few seconds she sat there, indifferent to the lack of restraint until Vikri gave her an energetic pat.
“Go!” he barked, and a grey-white blur shot off into the snow, remarkably quiet considering the speed. Suddenly she faltered, tumbling into a bank, sending white powder flying. Rolling around to right herself, she sped off again until she found another suitable snow bank to throw herself into. Vikri watched on with a relaxed expression.
“Care to join her?” He asked. I marked my incredulity to him, but he dismissed it. With a loud yelp he ran after her, throwing himself into a previously disturbed snow pile. Instantly the dog was upon him, digging and barking, Vikri’s limbs flailing as he contended with his attacker. My heart leapt into my throat as the nightmare unfolded. Reaching instinctively for my sidearm, my fear began to turn to panic on realisation it wasn’t there. What do I do? Run? No! I’ve got to help. But how? I was frozen.
After a short tussle, Vikri easily pushed her off, sending her running in another direction. The now patchy white venlil returned to my side, breathing heavily.
“She’s so full of energy,” he wheezed, ignoring my frozen expression of terror.
“You’re incredible,” I responded, trying to regain my composure. To shrug off an attack like that. Even if Marcel did something similar to me I fear how I’d react, and I knew him to be sapient and kind.
“Hardly,” he dismissed, “I’ve just had to learn.” He took a moment to catch his breath.
“Thank you for coming Slanek.” His sudden gratitude caught me off-guard. “It means a lot.”
“You’re the one helping me,” I reminded.
“Yes, but you reached out. To a broken venlil like me.” He looked at me and bared his teeth in an attempt at a human smile.
“You’re held in high regard, it’s how I heard about you.”
“By humans maybe,” he clarified. “Doubt most venlil will be understanding. Only the bravest.” He nudged me with his tail.
“Marcel seems to think I have predator disease, so I don’t think anything I do should give you much comfort,” I confessed.
“Do you think you have predator disease?” he asked, staring at me.
“No…I… uh…it’s complicated. I thought it. I was normal, I think.” He didn’t break his gaze. There was a pit in my stomach, Marcel’s recent criticisms stinging anew.
“I don’t know anymore. I want to believe I’m the same, normal venlil that left Venlil Prime, but I know that can’t be true. It hurts.”
Vikri stopped staring, focusing more on the dog as it played.
“I always thought it was something you were born with, a defect,” he paused. “Now I fear it’s more a contagion.”
“Exterminators were always concerned about predator corruption spreading,” I added, images from Tillfish flamethrowers worming their way into my head. “Hang with predators and you’re bound to catch something.”
“Do you think I have predator disease?” He asked. Despite the seriousness of tone, it almost made me smile. That was my diagnosis from the start. But maybe not the worst thing.
“It colours your fur. Too much human’s rubbed off on you.” This time I gave him a playful nudge. Despite my indication of joking, Vikri remained pensive, still just watching for the dog. Trying to catch his eye, I flicked an apology, “Sorry, I don’t think you’re sick…really.”
“No, no,” he responded, moving an eye back to me. “To be honest I want that. To acknowledge them changing me and all. Otherwise, what was the point?” His gaze drifted back to Lucky. “No, I am different now. He changed me and I can never go back. It’s all I have left of him now anyway.” The last part almost disappeared into a whisper. I sidled up to him in support, wrapping my tail around his. I felt sick at the sorrow he must be experiencing, for it was what I feared most.
“I’m sure he’s proud of what you’ve become.” I encouraged.
“Un” Vikri gave an affirmative flick.
“Raising a dog for star’s sake. He’d definitely think you are the best venlil.”
“Un”
“And for the little it’s worth, I do too.” He didn’t respond directly to that one, but he did press in closer.
“I do miss my old life though,” he continued after some time, his voice recovering. “Though I don’t think I’ll ever go back to Prime. Not with her.”
I shrugged. “There are currently thousands of humans on Prime. We can only pray to the stars that predator disease is as contagious as we’ve experienced,” I chuckled softly.
“Wouldn’t that be something,” he mused.
I was hopeful. Humans had lived up to our greatest fears. They were manipulative, changing whatever they touched to their own ideal. And stars if they weren’t persistent. Once you were their prey, they would not stop until they had you. The evidence was here. Two venlil, standing on an alien world, happily watching an apex predator play before us. Changed forever by the nature of predators.
2023.03.26 12:39 imfuckinggoingcrazy Does she like me?
A week ago me and my friends went to a small concert, one of the friends is my crush, and some things happened, that I don’t know if they mean something, one time my friend exposed me and told her that i like her, not like i love her but that i like her and I don’t know what does she think of that but then I was quiet bcs I was embarrased and she noticed and offered me a cig and then noticed I was cold, so she offered me to go under her jacket, so she had her hand over me and I was close to her and she also “petted” me with her hand on my shoulder, don’t know if this is something friends do or if its smthing more, she also asks me questions and interacts with me, makes eyecontact, what do y’all think?:D
submitted by imfuckinggoingcrazy to Crushes [link] [comments]
2023.03.26 12:26 ShadowDragon8685 [Ace is the Only Sane Pirate 13]Doctor Dick Feynman, I presume?
Ace was stunned. She almost felt disassociated from her own scaled hide; mentally she was still processing, even as, somehow, she found herself smoothly walking down the ramp to the navigation console, relieving the human who was at it.
She recovered quickly as she found herself reviewing the controls. They were all laid out, smooth and reasonably intuitively so. It wasn't even that she was entirely unfamiliar with taking command of a capital starship; she had, from time to time, taken the captain's post of the Arcadian Endeavour, to say nothing of the helm, but still, she was gobsmacked that Najia trusted her so readily as to just ask her to take the helm.
She looked the controls over again. The ship seemed ready to sail. "The helm is operative," she said. She was, however, unfamiliar with the ship class; fortunately, her station included a comprehensive overview. As Large vessels went, it was on the small size; the Arcadian Endeavour would handily outgun it; two Large Pulse Turrets, eight Medium Bolt turrets, and, on her stick, 2 'Medium Meson Streams'. She was vaguely familiar with Meson Streams as being the Protectorate's special signature weapon, but she thought that M weapons might be a bit lightweight to be the 'main armament' on an L vessel. "All systems seem to be reporting operational."
Ace looked uncertainly at the human woman standing the gunnery console next to her. She, too, had a slightly uncertain look, but, after a moment's double-checking, nodded firmly. "Gunnery confirms, all stations reporting green, C-Captain," she said, looking back up at Najia, who nodded firmly. "Ace, take us out. Let's track down Boso Ta's mysterious interloper."
Ace nodded firmly, and throttled the Destroyer-class vessel in reverse. The ship accelerated with surprising speed; nothing at all like the ponderous heft of the Empyrean Curs' home. The mammoth headquarters station receded into the distance, and she made a slight hiss to clear her throat. "We are away, Najia. We should begin scanning for this interloper if you wish to locate them." "Right. That's... Actually on this console," Najia recalled after a moment, her hands flying over the console. She'd done this before, a few times, but she still felt like such an imposter standing on the bridge of a ship this large and giving orders, even though she could - and did - order fleets of such ships around. Still, the long-range sensors came up, and in moments a ping found itself. She pushed it to Ace's station. "Let's go see who, or what, is creating such a fuss around here," she said. She felt vaguely self-conscious, running down what was probably some Teladi smugglers with a high-powered transmitter rig in some M freighter with a fast escort frigate.
Ace, meanwhile, was quite enjoying herself. The ship she was testing was spritely, responsive, without having the ponderous over-steer problem the Baku-class M Freighters had. Even the mighty Terran engines couldn't push a ship this large into T-drive immediately, but in regular drive it accelerated and decelrated rapidly. She quickly brought the ship to the appropriate course to intercept the sensor return, and, swooping past the headquarters station on course, activated her Travel drive. As with any large vessel, there was a considerable charge-up period while the ship's engines built power. However, it was rather less considerable than that of most ships in its class. She had time for a glance at the shipyard slips, and noted that a very large ship was under construction, and quite rapidly too - from its lines, it could only be one of old Professor Nakagawa's Nagoya-class Battleships. Ace found that amusing; Najia's people certainly worked fast.
The ship took off with suddenness that surprised her, the pitch of the T-Drive warmup reaching its crescendo. All attention back to the fore, Ace sucked in a sharp breath as they accelerated, rapidly intercepting the interloping signal. It wasn't hiding very well, Ace thought; if indeed it intended to hide at all. She targeted it as soon as it was within range; to the bridge the computer announced "Okinawa: Research Vessel."
Najia groaned audibly, glancing down; there was a transponder with a name. Oberth. "Dick Feynman," she muttered to herself, suddenly feeling a welling-up of outrage. What, she wanted to know, was Dr. Feynman doing in her system, lurking around her anomalies, without so much as dropping by to say hello? Woah girl, Najia thought to herself, taking a half-step back and a deep breath, wondering where that outburst had come from. Then she thought back to all the tiny little microaggressions Professor Feynman had bestowed upon all of his students; to say nothing of his research assistants. She snorted, loudly, as Ace pulled the Koshirae up alongside the Oberth, and she commed it. The skipper's face appeared on-screen.
"Yes; this is the research vessel Oberth. Can we help you?" Najia nodded to him. "Please put me in contact with the commander of your expedition," she said, firmly but politely. "Very well, one moment." The captain passed her through without further comment; he was clearly annoyed with the professor, since he didn't seem to recognize her, but he was still passing a random passer-by - in a destroyer admittedly - straight to the Professor.
Moments later, the professor himself appeared in the comms window, also on the bridge; just as she recalled him from before. "I am Dr. Rick Feynman, Chief Scientist of the Oberth and in charge of Project Genesis," he said, annoyedly and hurriedly. Najia waited for the other shoe to drop. It did so in a few moments, and he gawped openly at her. "Wait, Najia Takio?! Is it really you?" Najia smirked. "In the flesh, Professor." Unsaid, was that he hadn't even tried to contact her. He was either as oblivious as the Maestro of the Empyrean Curs, or he hadn't wanted to contact her. She was actually betting on the former. "Well, I'm glad you made it," he said. "We didn't expect biological matter to have survived this transition."
Najia blinked, and felt disassociated for a moment; she could just about feel the weightlessness of being cast adrift in her suit again. He had expected the transition, and hadn't warned her, or any of the others he had sent out in suits - whose fates she still didn't know? She was on the verge of exploding at him, quite possibly more literally than figuratively, but he continued on speaking blithely. "As I was saying, we are looking into how this station got here. Our research vessel is currently observing anomalies and gravimetric shears in this region."
That's it? That's... It? Najia felt stunned, and she shook her head. She felt on the verge of a schoolgirl explosion of anger, but looked to her side. Marta looked just as furious as she did, but she was maintaining. Selaia, the shipyard temporary master, was standing ramrod-straight, disciplined. Composed, with military bearing. Najia filed that away to ask her about later, but she looked back to the comms panel, and willed herself to the composture that Captain Kevlin had adopted. Be like her, she told herself. The Commander.
"Professor Feynman, I think it's time you told me exactly what Project Genesis is; after all, I almost died for it." There was a blink. He had, at least, the good graces to look somewhat embarrassed. "I'm sorry to inform you that you currently lack the required clearance to access that information, Najia."
Najia had very minimal military training; just the three-week Segaris reserve militia training course that every Pioneer university student got. Between that and the example of Captain Kevlin standing to her side with her feet braced proudly, her face schooled and her arms crossed behind her back as an example, however, Najia managed not to erupt in fury. Below, she saw Ace's tail lash in agitation, but Ace, too, was remaining face-forward, eyes on her controls.
"Is there anything else, Ms. Takio?" Najia considered laying down all the reasons she felt she should be granted clearance to access that information, ranging from the fact that her ships and her production facillities were providing the majority of the Pioneers' construction supplies and she had fantastic trading relations with them, to - again - the fact that she'd almost died for the project - to the fact that, within five minutes, she could have a fleet - a literal fleet of warships training their guns on Oberth.
That last one was, she thought, an argument most compelling. Part of her - a part of her she quickly pushed down - was inclined to simply order the boarding ships in-system to seize the research vessel Oberth by force and have Dr. Feynman dragged before her in irons. That was a sentiment every university student who'd ever had to deal with an insufferable professor would certainly sympathize with. She very much doubted that anyone she knew would even object, but she simply took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.
"In that case, Professor, what are you doing here; what do you need?" She somehow managed to maintain the composure she was projecting, she thought; though if she could involuntarily kill with her eyes over a comm screen, she was sure he'd fall dead with his head vaporized to a stump. Obliviously, or else with such a remarkable degree of awareness that he pretended to be oblivious, Dr. Feynman brightened and said, "we are currently lacking antimatter cells we need to complete our observations. If you can organize a delivery to this vessel, we'll be able to greatly advance our timetable."
Najia nodded, curtly, and cut the comm channel. She let out the seething huff she wasn't aware she had been holding in, and took a step back. "Captain, you have the Conn," she said, quietly. "I have the Conn," Captain Kevlin said, taking the center console as Najia walked to the aft railing of the 'smoke pit,' taking it in her hands and squeezing for a long few moments. "There's a conference room aboard, ma'am, if you need long-range communications capability," the captain said to her, with a glance over her shoulder. "Also, your two personal S-class craft were loaded onto our pads before you arrived. Should you require them." Najia recognized what the Captain was saying to her; she was semi-subtly suggeting that Najia take her anger somewhere the crew couldn't see it. Najia half-seethed at that, but she recognized the wisdom - and nodded. "Thank you, Captain. I do need the comms, in fact. Ace, Marta, with me please."
"I could kill him," Najia said, the moment the door closed behind her. Marta, ahead of her, sat on the edge of the conference table and snorted. The room was essentially a copy of their ships' standardized mess halls, but without the kitchen. "You and me both. Sanctimonious little..." "Why do you not, then," Ace asked, turning a chair around and sitting in it, drawing her feet up to the edge of it, curling her tail around her legs. "He has clearly given you cause for outrage; not mere ire or annoyance, but clear outrage. He is also utterly oblivious to the fact that, whatever you were relative to him when last you met, you are, now, the master of a vast organization and due far more respect - and information - than he provided. The Maestro would likely order his ship siezed, that he himself be seized, respect beaten into him, and then have brought before him in chains to answer the questions he refused to answer before."
Najia paused for a moment, and leaned back on the wall of the conference room, taking a deep breath, huffing and letting it out slowly, hugging herself self-consciously. Less the 'ordering a beating to a prisoner' part, she had considered that very course of action. "Is that what you want me to do, Ace?" Ace let out a soft, hissing trill, and shook her head. "No. That would be... Very out-of-character for you, I think." She blinked at that, unsure why she didn't want to see Najia order that course of action, when it was what her piratical upbringing was telling her that Najia should do - would be within every right to do.
"Yeah, well... I considered it," Najia said, "less the beating part, anyway." "He's keepin' secrets from you. Spook stuff," Marta pointed out. "Considering how you almost died in the name of this Project Genesis, you damn well deserve some answers. Frankly, I wouldn't blame you in the slightest if you did order the ship seized and searched for those answers. And if we took Doc Dick prisoner in the process, well... I mean, I wouldn't, you know, condone it if you happened to say that they shouldn't be too concerned with being gentle when they grabbed him, I don't think I'd raise a fuss about it, either."
Najia broke into a laugh, and then face-palmed, sighing heavily, and grinning. "No. As cathartic as it might be..." She sighed, heavily. "As deeply, deeply cathartic as it might be..." She trailed off, then shook her head vehemently. "No. He is a prick, though." Marta snorted. "No arguments from me there. I can't tell you how many times I daydreamed about force-feeding him his own lectern in class." She smirked at Najia. "And I know you felt the same way."
"Mmmhmm. So, fie." She pushed off from the wall, sat in the chair next to Ace, and pulled up the comms, back to the station, intending to explain the matter to Boso Ta. The Boron's head appeared in hologram above the table. "Ah, Assistant! It appears that they are researching the same anomaly which brought the station over here," Boso Ta said, preempting her. He continued on, quickly, "Most of the gravimetric charge dispersed during that event, but they brought quite an array of equipment to examine the traces. Let us hope that this satisfies their curiosity and leads to their departure." Najia snorted at that. "Don't bet on it. I know this asshole, he's... Well, he's up to something. I'll arrange to deliver him the stuff he wants and get this moving, but, don't get your hopes up." She sighed, and decided to be nicer to Boso Ta, if only because she had been reminded of just how not-nice Dr. Feynman had been to her. "Is there anything else you need, Boso Ta, that we can act on at present?"
"Ah, yes," Boso Ta said, brightly. "We are prepared for teleportation trials to begin. Well, we have already tested them," he admitted, "with nonsapient life forms; your Professor Nakagawa is quite the researcher. He and Station Manager Peterson have quite ably assisted my research here whilst you were off endeavoring in Avarice. We've been waiting to offer you the opportunity to be the first sapient teleportation subject of our revived teleport project."
Najia blinked. "Well..." She paused, and huffed, and the table's comm system chirr-upped. It was Peterson, and Najia added her to the conference call. "Tsukiko, what's this about me being a guinea pig?" Tsukiko let out a huff, interrupted in the middle of something she was about to say; her shoulders slumped, and she grinned, wryly. "Okay, not really a guinea pig," she said. "We've tested it in-system with mice, and dogs. We sedated them first," she said, "and then sent them through un-sedated, too. No ill effects we could find. I hate to say it, but Boso Ta is... Kind of a genius."
Najia held back a snort at that, and Tsukiko smirked at her. "So, it's safe, as near as anyone can tell?" "Oh yes. There's no evidence of any sort of atomic or molecular irregularities in scans of the animals taken on either side of the teleport, and a veterinary specialist who examined the animals before and afterwards indicated there was no sign of any lasting trauma from the experience," Boso Ta interrupted. "I felt that being the first sapient to go through the system would be your due, for the work you've put in to bringing us to the point where it is possible. Najia Takio; first human to use a teleport intentionally... Developed by us, anyway."
Najia snorted at that, and smirked. "I'll think about it. Do we need to retrofit anything?" "Oh, no," Tsukiko said. "Or, rather - and this is actually kind of mind-blowing - the actual teleport hardware itself is... Frankly miniscule. There is a refit needed, but it's already been done; we just started fitting them into the lifts of larger ships and the airlocks of Small-classes."
Najia blinked at that. She hadn't even known about it? "As a standard...?" "Indeed, as a standard option! This would, needless to say, greatly simplify personnel transfer logistics."
Najia laughed at that, and looked at Ace. Ace was stroking her crest, and looked... Thoughtful. Marta looked fascinated. "Shit, Ninja Taco, if you ain't gonna go for it, I will. But what'd you want, Professor Peterson?" Tsukiko laughed, blushing slightly. "Please, Marta, how many times do I have to tell you to just call me Tsukiko? You're harder to break of that habit than Najia was. Anyway, I called because the Golden Flea and the ship Ninja Taco are getting coded comms signals from the Empyrean Curs."
Ace let out a high-pitched trill at that. "Please, you must tunnel the comm from the Flea here with all haste." Tsukiko punched a button on her desk, out of view, and a holographic comms-panel came up in front of Ace. Ace studied it - it looked to Najia like gibberish - for a moment. "This is the recall signal. Maestro wants us back on the Arcadian Endeavour immediately, unless we are presently under surveillance by the authorities." Ace looked back to her. "It looks like the Maestro has his plans aligned and is ready to do something adventuresome."
Najia took in a deep breath, and nodded. "Alright." She squeezed her hand in a fist, and stood up. "We - or, I at least - are going to teleport back to the station. Boso Ta will get his test - and Boso Ta... Good work. Please proceed with teleportation research as far as you can take it." Boso Ta did a somersault in his tank, gleefully, at that request. "Oh, with pleasure, Assistant!" Najia looked at Ace. "Shall we try this teleport thing?" "Yes, let's!" Ace stood, and had a positively gleeful look. "This sounds... Fun."
Najia could only smile at that, and nod. "Right. Have the Flea and 'Chipmunk's' ships brought to the pads," she directed. "Actually, no; send all of my Chipmunk ships ahead; have them dock on the defense platform at the 18B gate, the Endeavor tends to hang out there anyway." She stood. "So... Just... The lift?" "Just the lift," Boso Ta confirmed. "Though, in the very near future, we suspect we'll be able to initiate the teleport from arbitrary locations."
Najia nodded. "Alright. A quick stop before we go." She smiled, heading for the lift.
A scant few minutes later, Najia was in the as-yet-impersonal-and-unfinished ready room, with Captain Kevlin. The two of them eyed one another warily, for a long few moments, and Najia pointed two fingers at her, starting the conversation. "You're not just some shipyard-working spacer," she said. "You stand like you're professional military." "And you stand like you're a free-wheeling, over-inflated sorority sister who lucked out and won the lottery," Kevlin shot back at her, smirking.
Najia blinked. She blinked again. Then she laughed, hard, curling her arm around her belly, the other hand reaching out to rest on the hull next to the window. When she looked up, she grinned. "Okay, now I know you're not a spy. No spy with a brain in their head would say something that's as likely to get them fired as anything else." Selaia smirked at her. "Unless I'm a very good spy who's compiled a massive psych profile on you."
"Which I strongly doubt," Najia shot back. "But you're also not afraid of being fired." Selaia shrugged. "No, I'm not. Working in your shipyard is nice, yes; probably the second-best job I've ever had, but I'm not going to kiss your ass and be a yes-woman. I won't do that for anyone."
Najia straightened up, and peered into Selaia's eyes. They were, not hostile, but hard with resolve. She smirked slightly, and nodded. "Good. I don't like yes-women, they fuck things up. So, you think I'm, what -" "An irresponsible, idealistic child who managed to, through luck and probably some skill, wind up controlling a growing paramilitary business empire," Selaia shot back, walking around her, eyeing her up. Najia snorted at that. "Child? Seriously?"
"You're not a veteran. You're not a politician. You're not a businesswoman. You might be doing a credible job pretending to be those latter two, but you're a university student who got lucky, and is good at putting on faces." Najia bristled, but shoved it down; the Argon-born starship operator was abrasively blunt... But she was airing doubts Najia herself had. "Harsh," Najia said. "But... Not entirely untrue. So, why are you still here, if you don't like me?" There was a long, quiet moment. "I didn't say I didn't like you," Selaia said, softly. "But you are all of those things." She smirked.
"And you like that, then?" Najia smirked back. "What got you discharged, presumably dishonorably, from the Argon navy? Your big mouth that can't seem to shut up? Called a superior out on some bullshit that you couldn't stand to let stand?" "You'd think that, but no; fraternization." Selaia met her gaze, levelly. "Though I was on the thinnest of ice before that for, as you say, speaking my mind." She walked around Najia, appraising her. "Are you planning to sack me? Should I grab my go bag and begone?" Laughing, Najia shook her head. "No! I was actually going to ask if you wanted the ship for real, not just for the trials."
That, at least, took Kevlin aback for a moment. She walked away, paused, turned. Looked Najia up and down again, slowly. Najia felt self-conscious about it, raising her eyebrow, as the other woman crossed her arms over her chest. "Do I have to get on my knees for the job?" Najia blinked at that. It struck her out of left field, and she rocked back on her heels. "I - I'm sorry... What?" "Do you expect me to put out - sexually - for the position," Selaia repeated, slowly, her voice... Almost unnervingly neutral; uncannily, composedly so. Najia gawped at her for a long few moments, her mouth hanging open. Closed. Open. Closed. She reached up and rubbed her face with her hands for a few moments. "I... I'm sorry, I - what kind of - where did you - what gave you..." She took a deep breath. "No. Emphatically no. What on or off Earth gave you that idea?"
A few moments that seemed like almost an eternity passed, then Selaia shrugged, and seemed to shrink in a bit, relaxing. "Frankly? You have a reputation as a party girl that goes back to Segaris and has followed you here what with all the Segaris Pioneers you're hiring away, preferentially beginning with your old circle of school pals - with whom you're pretty obviously in a, what did the Segaris call it, 'polycule' with. Your politics can only be described as 'liberal to an extreme,' given the way you run your stations domestically, and I overheard a snippet of one of your small craft pilots describing, very bluntly, you going down on her in the cockpit, after offering her the job. She was discussing this with the captain of Fenrir, who compared notes with her. I took that to infer that you liked to be sexual with those captains you personally offered a job to."
Najia flushed red, her jaw dropping, and looked out the window again, at the gas giant hanging in the distance. She groaned-and-laughed at the same time. "Fatimah and Xiaowen... I am going to scold them for gossiping somewhere public," she said, laughing so hard it brought tears to her eyes, and rubbed them out of her eyes. Then she heaved a heavy sigh. "And that didn't chase you away?" "I didn't expect I'd ever run into you personally," the shipyard expert said, "and frankly, given the dizzying breadth of corruption a kid with suddenly-unlimited power could get up to, being a little skeevy with grown adults is on the low end." Najia face-palmed again, harder. "Alright, look," she said, turning around. "Fatimah, Xiaowen and I are old friends from Segaris University. Yes, we're a thing, a big, messy, multi-tentacular thing that we're not ashamed of, but you've rather taken the wrong end of the stick there. It was roleplay, what they were discussing, pure and simple. A few moments of kink snatched from the jaws of some really messy, pressy schedules, between attempts to make the galaxy an overall better place and setbacks. Yes, I pretended to abuse my position and money to make them, for want of another word, perform to keep their jobs. And later, Fatimah turned that exact position around on me, while Xiaowen tied me up and -"
"Enough," Selaia said, laughing; finally her composure had broken, and she'd flushed, chuckling and holding her hand up. "Okay, I get it... I apologize, miss Takio. Clearly, I was badly mistaken." "... Najia, please," Najia said, blushing and grinning. "Since you already know me so well anyway."
Selaia snorted at her, and smiled, wryly, nodding. Najia met her eyes, for a long few moments. "So, that fraternization that got you kicked out of the Argon military..." "When you're a military intelligence lieutenant and a famous, well-liked starship captain insinuates that your career might stall out by standing on your feet but might go places on your knees, you weigh your options," Selaia said, bluntly. She pushed off the desk, and pushed past Najia, staring out the window herself. "So I started delivering reports from under his desk instead of in front of it. I hated myself a little, at first... Then he started telling me to sit up on his desk after. That was a little..." She huffed. "I dunno. Then his wife found out."
Najia winced. "Oh, damn. And monogamy is a big thing in Argon space, I take it?" "Well, yes, but she didn't blow up quite like you're expecting. She blew up at him all right - for not telling her and sharing me with her immediately. I got caught by my immediate superior - the one who didn't like my mouth - going to her home, who tried to use the thing to bring me, the captain and his wife - a defense industrial contractor - down. They had political connections, and when all was said and done, I basically took the fall for everything. The Lt.C who found out I was basically being half-bribed, half-blackmailed into being a kinky, connected couple's toy got to quietly resign, the captain got promoted to commodore, and I got the option to take an administrative discharge with my commission revoked for conduct unbecoming, or get totally shafted at a court martial and take the fall for everything, doing prison time."
Najia blinked at that, and winced. "That's... That's..." "If you give me a pity look, I swear I will punch you in the loins and tell you to take your offer and shove it." Proper fire glared in the skipper's eyes as she turned to look at Najia. Najia stepped back, her jaw half-dropping, and then she shook her head, laughing. "No - no! I was saying, 'that's a shit sandwich.'"
Selaia snorted roughly at her, and turned back to look out the window. "Yeah... Yeah, it was. Anyway, that was then, then I wound up here. I signed on a freighter to forget my past, made port here, decided to take a job in the shipyard because it paid better than the freighter, was work I could do, and the habs here are wonderful. Then I found myself in front of you, and, well... Sorry, for thinking you might be kind of a hump."
Najia snorted. "But not so much of a hump that it was an automatic deal-breaker, huh?" She scratched her head, craning to look up at the Oberth hanging 'above' them. "Yes... No... Maybe? I don't honestly know what I was going to say if you said yes," the Argon woman admitted. "At first, when I first... When I found the whole 'prostitution is legal and regulated' here thing, I was skeeved out. I tried to leave, but, there weren't actually any ships that would take me that day. Then I wound up actually finding out that one of my coworkers - someone I was kind of chummy with - was turning tricks on the side, and... Well, we had a chat about it. He was from Segaris, and thought it was no big deal. And, well... I... Kind of... Had whored myself. I didn't feel good about it then. I still don't, but... I was... Well, willing, I suppose, to at least see if the offer you made, the way you made it, made me feel greasy about it like it did back then, or if it was... I don't know; open? Honest?"
"Well, I'm glad to have pleasantly surprised you - though I am totally going to kill Fatimah and Xiaowen for gossiping in public," Najia muttered without sincere heat, continuing "and no... I'm really not going to demand that someone put out for a job. You just... Impressed me with what I saw, in the admittedly very brief time that I've known you, but hey, I'm the kind of impulsive idiot who takes a leap of faith based on her gut instinct."
"Then, in that case..." Selaia turned to her, and smirked. "I'll skipper this ship for you for now, but I want something bigger when it's available. And not assigned to a reaction force or routine escort or defense duty or something." Najia snorted again, and laughed. She took a step back, and looked Selaia up and down again, smirking and grinning. The formerly-Argon military intelligence woman didn't look particularly extraordinary, but she shifted to stand at 'parade rest,' arms folding behind her back, eyes piercing and patient. "Setting terms, huh?" Najia smirked. She looked like she was considering it, but Selaia had impressed her - and she was also the first hire she'd had who had a formal military background outside the Segaris Pioneers. That perspective could be useful. She crossed her arms. "It just so happens I'm planning to build more ships," she said. "Some of them will be quite large." She extended her hand to Selaia, who took and shook it, firmly. "You wouldn't happen to be planning to construct a Centaur II Battleship, would you?" Selaia asked, grinning at her. Najia laughed. "That depends; if you have the full plans for a Centaur II* in your back pocket, I'll make sure you get the first one out of the yard."
Laughing now, the other woman reached back with her free hand, and dramatically patted one of her rear pockets. "Damn, I appear to have left those plans in my other trousers." She let go, grinning and shaking her head, sighing. "Sorry, again, for... You know." Najia shook her head. "Jeeze, are you ever gonna stop beating yourself up for it?" She shook her head, laughing exasperatedly. "I don't know," the Captain answered bluntly, laughing and wryly face-palming. "I thought for sure that you were either going to say yes, or you'd fire me on the spot for even asking. And now I'm asking myself, do I even deserve the post?"
"For, what? Being willing to entertain the idea?" Najia shook her head, and, taking a bit of a risk, reached out and laid her hand heavily on Captain Kevlin's shoulder, squeezing it. "It's not like I'm running a state military with rules against fraternization or anything. What I care about is; can you do it, and are you someone whose general... Mmmmmh... It's not exactly right to say 'someone whose morals I like,' so much as..." Najia trailed off for a moment; Ace's morals were certainly questionable, even by her standards - in some cases especially by her standards - but she had bonded with her, trusted her. "Someone I feel I can trust to continue to be someone whose actions I like. If you wanna be woo-woo about it, someone whose spirit I like. And you? I have a good feeling about you; I've been wrong before, but... Not often."
Selaia snorted at her, looking at her, then looking back to the window. "And you'd trust someone who was willing to go down on you to get the post?" "As its own qualification, no. But it doesn't make me distrust you," Najia said. "Especially with how you were prepared to evaluate how a 'yes' answer made you feel and then tell me to take that offer and shove it. So, we good? You want to skipper a ship for me?" "Just that simply? No... Strings attached?"
Najia laughed, and turned, leaning against the windowsill and looking at the other woman's head in profile, smirking. "Do you want strings attached?" Selaia started at the question, turning to look at her. She worked her mouth a few times, but couldn't seem to find words; she did, however, flush warmly, looking somewhat guilty, and swallowed. "Okay, look; you're conflicted, obviously." Najia took the professional spacer's hand, squeezing it carefully. "Like I said, the job is yours if you say yes, no strings attached. Completely separately from that, if you are interested in, you know, the idea of getting to know me more thoroughly, that's, you know, a matter we can bring up later. And if you're not, then I'm not going to mention it again."
Flushing, Selaia turned away from her, but kept her hands in hers; squeezing Najia's hand, tightly. "This is so fucking unprofessional of me to even be considering," she huffed. "Sure it is. And you impressed me by being able to put on and take off the 'Professional Selaia' almost instantly. I bet you could summon 'Captain Kevlin' back in a moment."
Selaia blinked at her, turning her head to look at her. She drew her hand back, took a deep breath, and faced the window again. Folded her arms behind her back, and executed a crisp right-face, her face schooled into stern impassivity. Her eyes were mirthful, but the rest was the very picture of the woman Najia had seen standing by at attention while she indulged herself in helming the ship personally. "Just like that," Najia said, grinning brightly. Her grin softened Selaia's demeanor, and she smiled in turn. "You're a deep well of passion who can put on 'military bearing' in a moment. And you're not a yes-woman. That's what I need."
Working her jaw slightly, Selaia relaxed, chuckling and sighing; she flushed again, and sighed. "Thank you," she said. "For the opportunity; for not getting pissed at me, for... Well, for being understanding, and tolerating me being an aggro neurotic about it when things didn't go the ways I'd seen them going." "It's fine," Najia assured her, holding her hands up, placatingly, and to her surprise, Selaia took them, squeezing. "I, um... I..." Flushing and looking away, Selaia swallowed. "Is that offer going to be on the table if I need to sleep on it?"
Najia laughed, grinning and shaking her head. "Oh, you're amazing. Yes, absolutely; sleep on it. Hell, I have to get going; places to go, pirate clans to infiltrate. Fun stuff! Speaking of which, please make the ship combat-ready and take it to the Windfall/Eighteen B hardpoint to dock. I'm not saying I expect anything to go down, but..."
"Understood." Selaia looked back up; she remained flushed, but smiled. "That, I can do." She squeezed Najia's hands, and Najia squeezed back, then let go. She pivoted on her heel, slipping out of the Ready Room and headed for the lift; Ace and Marta had disembarked said left and were standing to the side of the corridor, with Marta telling Ace an anecdote from when they were still young class-taking students at Segaris U. "Well that took longer than expected," Marta said. "Everything good?" "Everything's good," Najia said. "And we have a new captain. I figured she should keep Koshirae for now. So, how does this lift-teleporter work?"
"Like this," Ace said, stepping into the lift. She pressed a button, and Najia felt a strange, yet familiar sensation start to take hold; like the feeling she got just before the headquarters had transported itself. Like falling in all directions at once; then, with a bright flash, she found herself in another lift. Blinking, Najia felt herself up for a few moments, then strode out; they were on one of the landing pads at the headquarters, and standing above them was the Golden Flea. Her jaw dropped. "That... That... Was both incredible, and..." "Somehow underwhelming," Ace concluded with her. "It was not wholly without fanfare, yet somehow, I anticipated... More."
Najia nodded. "Right. So, how should we do this?" She looked to Ace, who smiled at her. "We stagger the arrival of Chipmunk's ships and mine in the vicinity of the Arcadian Endeavour, as though we had scattered, lain low, and were returning from somewhat different places." Najia nodded. "Right. And, I wonder... Would it be possible to fit the Flea with a teleporter?"
"Indeed it would," Ace agreed. "I asked Boso Ta if this was possible and he said it was very simple. He delivered the equipment to the Flea before I had finished asking, in fact, though I do not think I will be able to install it and fly home simultaneously." Najia grinned at Ace, and Ace grinned back at her, adding, "but, if you wished to fly back with me, one of us could tinker, while the other flies."
Najia grinned at Ace, and looked back to Marta. "That sounds good to me. Would you please take the Jackdaw and -" "Head on ahead while the two of you fiddle with Ace's ship and snuggle up naked while the ship is on autopilot?" Marta asked back, smirking. Najia flushed, glancing around; there was nobody within earshot. "Mmmm-hmmmm. You ain't foolin' noone, sister." Marta grasped Najia, pulled her close, and kissed her. Najia felt herself melt into the grasp, kissing back instinctually, embracing her oldest friend and turning her head to meet the kiss. Then it ended, Marta pulled back, and stepped back, looking down at Ace with her hands on her hips.
Ace blinked, peering up at the far-taller, stronger human. For a moment, she was concerned she would be threatened again, then she sucked in a sharp breath as Marta reached under her arms, grasped her chest, and simply lifted her to eye-level, then hugged her tightly. Ace let the breath out slowly, tentatively returning the embrace, and asked, "I... thought you distrusted me," she commented. "I did," Marta said, bluntly. "But Najia, apparently, took a chance on you, and figures you're alright. She's been right about that kind of thing a lot more often than I have." Marta squeezed her, and Ace sucked in a breath in alarm; the human could probably squeeze her so strongly that she passed out, yet she didn't squeeze so hard she hurt. It rather felt like being in Najia's arms, in fact. "So, I'm guessing you're one of us now. That ain't gonna be a problem with, you know, the whole pirate clan, is it?"
There it was; the proverbial shoe. Najia swallowed, glad that Ace couldn't see. She had been studiously not raising that point. "It will not be, provided... Provided I am not asked to betray the Curs. Membership in a pirate clan is... Voluntary, for the most part," Ace said. "I will not betray them." She looked back at Najia. "And, I think, neither will you." "But you are willing to leave them... For us?"
"For you," Ace said, reaching out with her tail, wrapping it around Najia's arm. "And, perhaps, the rest of you, in time," she added, looking at Marta, trilling softly. "But I will have to see the Maestro's big scheme through." "Family. I get that," Marta opined, setting Ace down. "Y'all fly safe. We'll filter in like a disorganized rabble."
Ace nodded, and turned to board the Flea. "What took you so long, anyway?" "Oh geeze." Najia followed the Teladi pilot. "It's a long story."
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She recovered quickly as she found herself reviewing the controls. They were all laid out, smooth and reasonably intuitively so. It wasn't even that she was entirely unfamiliar with taking command of a capital starship; she had, from time to time, taken the captain's post of the Arcadian Endeavour, to say nothing of the helm, but still, she was gobsmacked that Najia trusted her so readily as to just ask her to take the helm.
She looked the controls over again. The ship seemed ready to sail. "The helm is operative," she said. She was, however, unfamiliar with the ship class; fortunately, her station included a comprehensive overview. As Large vessels went, it was on the small size; the Arcadian Endeavour would handily outgun it; two Large Pulse Turrets, eight Medium Bolt turrets, and, on her stick, 2 'Medium Meson Streams'. She was vaguely familiar with Meson Streams as being the Protectorate's special signature weapon, but she thought that M weapons might be a bit lightweight to be the 'main armament' on an L vessel. "All systems seem to be reporting operational."
Ace looked uncertainly at the human woman standing the gunnery console next to her. She, too, had a slightly uncertain look, but, after a moment's double-checking, nodded firmly. "Gunnery confirms, all stations reporting green, C-Captain," she said, looking back up at Najia, who nodded firmly. "Ace, take us out. Let's track down Boso Ta's mysterious interloper."
Ace nodded firmly, and throttled the Destroyer-class vessel in reverse. The ship accelerated with surprising speed; nothing at all like the ponderous heft of the Empyrean Curs' home. The mammoth headquarters station receded into the distance, and she made a slight hiss to clear her throat. "We are away, Najia. We should begin scanning for this interloper if you wish to locate them." "Right. That's... Actually on this console," Najia recalled after a moment, her hands flying over the console. She'd done this before, a few times, but she still felt like such an imposter standing on the bridge of a ship this large and giving orders, even though she could - and did - order fleets of such ships around. Still, the long-range sensors came up, and in moments a ping found itself. She pushed it to Ace's station. "Let's go see who, or what, is creating such a fuss around here," she said. She felt vaguely self-conscious, running down what was probably some Teladi smugglers with a high-powered transmitter rig in some M freighter with a fast escort frigate.
Ace, meanwhile, was quite enjoying herself. The ship she was testing was spritely, responsive, without having the ponderous over-steer problem the Baku-class M Freighters had. Even the mighty Terran engines couldn't push a ship this large into T-drive immediately, but in regular drive it accelerated and decelrated rapidly. She quickly brought the ship to the appropriate course to intercept the sensor return, and, swooping past the headquarters station on course, activated her Travel drive. As with any large vessel, there was a considerable charge-up period while the ship's engines built power. However, it was rather less considerable than that of most ships in its class. She had time for a glance at the shipyard slips, and noted that a very large ship was under construction, and quite rapidly too - from its lines, it could only be one of old Professor Nakagawa's Nagoya-class Battleships. Ace found that amusing; Najia's people certainly worked fast.
The ship took off with suddenness that surprised her, the pitch of the T-Drive warmup reaching its crescendo. All attention back to the fore, Ace sucked in a sharp breath as they accelerated, rapidly intercepting the interloping signal. It wasn't hiding very well, Ace thought; if indeed it intended to hide at all. She targeted it as soon as it was within range; to the bridge the computer announced "Okinawa: Research Vessel."
Najia groaned audibly, glancing down; there was a transponder with a name. Oberth. "Dick Feynman," she muttered to herself, suddenly feeling a welling-up of outrage. What, she wanted to know, was Dr. Feynman doing in her system, lurking around her anomalies, without so much as dropping by to say hello? Woah girl, Najia thought to herself, taking a half-step back and a deep breath, wondering where that outburst had come from. Then she thought back to all the tiny little microaggressions Professor Feynman had bestowed upon all of his students; to say nothing of his research assistants. She snorted, loudly, as Ace pulled the Koshirae up alongside the Oberth, and she commed it. The skipper's face appeared on-screen.
"Yes; this is the research vessel Oberth. Can we help you?" Najia nodded to him. "Please put me in contact with the commander of your expedition," she said, firmly but politely. "Very well, one moment." The captain passed her through without further comment; he was clearly annoyed with the professor, since he didn't seem to recognize her, but he was still passing a random passer-by - in a destroyer admittedly - straight to the Professor.
Moments later, the professor himself appeared in the comms window, also on the bridge; just as she recalled him from before. "I am Dr. Rick Feynman, Chief Scientist of the Oberth and in charge of Project Genesis," he said, annoyedly and hurriedly. Najia waited for the other shoe to drop. It did so in a few moments, and he gawped openly at her. "Wait, Najia Takio?! Is it really you?" Najia smirked. "In the flesh, Professor." Unsaid, was that he hadn't even tried to contact her. He was either as oblivious as the Maestro of the Empyrean Curs, or he hadn't wanted to contact her. She was actually betting on the former. "Well, I'm glad you made it," he said. "We didn't expect biological matter to have survived this transition."
Najia blinked, and felt disassociated for a moment; she could just about feel the weightlessness of being cast adrift in her suit again. He had expected the transition, and hadn't warned her, or any of the others he had sent out in suits - whose fates she still didn't know? She was on the verge of exploding at him, quite possibly more literally than figuratively, but he continued on speaking blithely. "As I was saying, we are looking into how this station got here. Our research vessel is currently observing anomalies and gravimetric shears in this region."
That's it? That's... It? Najia felt stunned, and she shook her head. She felt on the verge of a schoolgirl explosion of anger, but looked to her side. Marta looked just as furious as she did, but she was maintaining. Selaia, the shipyard temporary master, was standing ramrod-straight, disciplined. Composed, with military bearing. Najia filed that away to ask her about later, but she looked back to the comms panel, and willed herself to the composture that Captain Kevlin had adopted. Be like her, she told herself. The Commander.
"Professor Feynman, I think it's time you told me exactly what Project Genesis is; after all, I almost died for it." There was a blink. He had, at least, the good graces to look somewhat embarrassed. "I'm sorry to inform you that you currently lack the required clearance to access that information, Najia."
Najia had very minimal military training; just the three-week Segaris reserve militia training course that every Pioneer university student got. Between that and the example of Captain Kevlin standing to her side with her feet braced proudly, her face schooled and her arms crossed behind her back as an example, however, Najia managed not to erupt in fury. Below, she saw Ace's tail lash in agitation, but Ace, too, was remaining face-forward, eyes on her controls.
"Is there anything else, Ms. Takio?" Najia considered laying down all the reasons she felt she should be granted clearance to access that information, ranging from the fact that her ships and her production facillities were providing the majority of the Pioneers' construction supplies and she had fantastic trading relations with them, to - again - the fact that she'd almost died for the project - to the fact that, within five minutes, she could have a fleet - a literal fleet of warships training their guns on Oberth.
That last one was, she thought, an argument most compelling. Part of her - a part of her she quickly pushed down - was inclined to simply order the boarding ships in-system to seize the research vessel Oberth by force and have Dr. Feynman dragged before her in irons. That was a sentiment every university student who'd ever had to deal with an insufferable professor would certainly sympathize with. She very much doubted that anyone she knew would even object, but she simply took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.
"In that case, Professor, what are you doing here; what do you need?" She somehow managed to maintain the composure she was projecting, she thought; though if she could involuntarily kill with her eyes over a comm screen, she was sure he'd fall dead with his head vaporized to a stump. Obliviously, or else with such a remarkable degree of awareness that he pretended to be oblivious, Dr. Feynman brightened and said, "we are currently lacking antimatter cells we need to complete our observations. If you can organize a delivery to this vessel, we'll be able to greatly advance our timetable."
Najia nodded, curtly, and cut the comm channel. She let out the seething huff she wasn't aware she had been holding in, and took a step back. "Captain, you have the Conn," she said, quietly. "I have the Conn," Captain Kevlin said, taking the center console as Najia walked to the aft railing of the 'smoke pit,' taking it in her hands and squeezing for a long few moments. "There's a conference room aboard, ma'am, if you need long-range communications capability," the captain said to her, with a glance over her shoulder. "Also, your two personal S-class craft were loaded onto our pads before you arrived. Should you require them." Najia recognized what the Captain was saying to her; she was semi-subtly suggeting that Najia take her anger somewhere the crew couldn't see it. Najia half-seethed at that, but she recognized the wisdom - and nodded. "Thank you, Captain. I do need the comms, in fact. Ace, Marta, with me please."
Najia paused for a moment, and leaned back on the wall of the conference room, taking a deep breath, huffing and letting it out slowly, hugging herself self-consciously. Less the 'ordering a beating to a prisoner' part, she had considered that very course of action. "Is that what you want me to do, Ace?" Ace let out a soft, hissing trill, and shook her head. "No. That would be... Very out-of-character for you, I think." She blinked at that, unsure why she didn't want to see Najia order that course of action, when it was what her piratical upbringing was telling her that Najia should do - would be within every right to do.
"Yeah, well... I considered it," Najia said, "less the beating part, anyway." "He's keepin' secrets from you. Spook stuff," Marta pointed out. "Considering how you almost died in the name of this Project Genesis, you damn well deserve some answers. Frankly, I wouldn't blame you in the slightest if you did order the ship seized and searched for those answers. And if we took Doc Dick prisoner in the process, well... I mean, I wouldn't, you know, condone it if you happened to say that they shouldn't be too concerned with being gentle when they grabbed him, I don't think I'd raise a fuss about it, either."
Najia broke into a laugh, and then face-palmed, sighing heavily, and grinning. "No. As cathartic as it might be..." She sighed, heavily. "As deeply, deeply cathartic as it might be..." She trailed off, then shook her head vehemently. "No. He is a prick, though." Marta snorted. "No arguments from me there. I can't tell you how many times I daydreamed about force-feeding him his own lectern in class." She smirked at Najia. "And I know you felt the same way."
"Mmmhmm. So, fie." She pushed off from the wall, sat in the chair next to Ace, and pulled up the comms, back to the station, intending to explain the matter to Boso Ta. The Boron's head appeared in hologram above the table. "Ah, Assistant! It appears that they are researching the same anomaly which brought the station over here," Boso Ta said, preempting her. He continued on, quickly, "Most of the gravimetric charge dispersed during that event, but they brought quite an array of equipment to examine the traces. Let us hope that this satisfies their curiosity and leads to their departure." Najia snorted at that. "Don't bet on it. I know this asshole, he's... Well, he's up to something. I'll arrange to deliver him the stuff he wants and get this moving, but, don't get your hopes up." She sighed, and decided to be nicer to Boso Ta, if only because she had been reminded of just how not-nice Dr. Feynman had been to her. "Is there anything else you need, Boso Ta, that we can act on at present?"
"Ah, yes," Boso Ta said, brightly. "We are prepared for teleportation trials to begin. Well, we have already tested them," he admitted, "with nonsapient life forms; your Professor Nakagawa is quite the researcher. He and Station Manager Peterson have quite ably assisted my research here whilst you were off endeavoring in Avarice. We've been waiting to offer you the opportunity to be the first sapient teleportation subject of our revived teleport project."
Najia blinked. "Well..." She paused, and huffed, and the table's comm system chirr-upped. It was Peterson, and Najia added her to the conference call. "Tsukiko, what's this about me being a guinea pig?" Tsukiko let out a huff, interrupted in the middle of something she was about to say; her shoulders slumped, and she grinned, wryly. "Okay, not really a guinea pig," she said. "We've tested it in-system with mice, and dogs. We sedated them first," she said, "and then sent them through un-sedated, too. No ill effects we could find. I hate to say it, but Boso Ta is... Kind of a genius."
Najia held back a snort at that, and Tsukiko smirked at her. "So, it's safe, as near as anyone can tell?" "Oh yes. There's no evidence of any sort of atomic or molecular irregularities in scans of the animals taken on either side of the teleport, and a veterinary specialist who examined the animals before and afterwards indicated there was no sign of any lasting trauma from the experience," Boso Ta interrupted. "I felt that being the first sapient to go through the system would be your due, for the work you've put in to bringing us to the point where it is possible. Najia Takio; first human to use a teleport intentionally... Developed by us, anyway."
Najia snorted at that, and smirked. "I'll think about it. Do we need to retrofit anything?" "Oh, no," Tsukiko said. "Or, rather - and this is actually kind of mind-blowing - the actual teleport hardware itself is... Frankly miniscule. There is a refit needed, but it's already been done; we just started fitting them into the lifts of larger ships and the airlocks of Small-classes."
Najia blinked at that. She hadn't even known about it? "As a standard...?" "Indeed, as a standard option! This would, needless to say, greatly simplify personnel transfer logistics."
Najia laughed at that, and looked at Ace. Ace was stroking her crest, and looked... Thoughtful. Marta looked fascinated. "Shit, Ninja Taco, if you ain't gonna go for it, I will. But what'd you want, Professor Peterson?" Tsukiko laughed, blushing slightly. "Please, Marta, how many times do I have to tell you to just call me Tsukiko? You're harder to break of that habit than Najia was. Anyway, I called because the Golden Flea and the ship Ninja Taco are getting coded comms signals from the Empyrean Curs."
Ace let out a high-pitched trill at that. "Please, you must tunnel the comm from the Flea here with all haste." Tsukiko punched a button on her desk, out of view, and a holographic comms-panel came up in front of Ace. Ace studied it - it looked to Najia like gibberish - for a moment. "This is the recall signal. Maestro wants us back on the Arcadian Endeavour immediately, unless we are presently under surveillance by the authorities." Ace looked back to her. "It looks like the Maestro has his plans aligned and is ready to do something adventuresome."
Najia took in a deep breath, and nodded. "Alright." She squeezed her hand in a fist, and stood up. "We - or, I at least - are going to teleport back to the station. Boso Ta will get his test - and Boso Ta... Good work. Please proceed with teleportation research as far as you can take it." Boso Ta did a somersault in his tank, gleefully, at that request. "Oh, with pleasure, Assistant!" Najia looked at Ace. "Shall we try this teleport thing?" "Yes, let's!" Ace stood, and had a positively gleeful look. "This sounds... Fun."
Najia could only smile at that, and nod. "Right. Have the Flea and 'Chipmunk's' ships brought to the pads," she directed. "Actually, no; send all of my Chipmunk ships ahead; have them dock on the defense platform at the 18B gate, the Endeavor tends to hang out there anyway." She stood. "So... Just... The lift?" "Just the lift," Boso Ta confirmed. "Though, in the very near future, we suspect we'll be able to initiate the teleport from arbitrary locations."
Najia nodded. "Alright. A quick stop before we go." She smiled, heading for the lift.
Najia blinked. She blinked again. Then she laughed, hard, curling her arm around her belly, the other hand reaching out to rest on the hull next to the window. When she looked up, she grinned. "Okay, now I know you're not a spy. No spy with a brain in their head would say something that's as likely to get them fired as anything else." Selaia smirked at her. "Unless I'm a very good spy who's compiled a massive psych profile on you."
"Which I strongly doubt," Najia shot back. "But you're also not afraid of being fired." Selaia shrugged. "No, I'm not. Working in your shipyard is nice, yes; probably the second-best job I've ever had, but I'm not going to kiss your ass and be a yes-woman. I won't do that for anyone."
Najia straightened up, and peered into Selaia's eyes. They were, not hostile, but hard with resolve. She smirked slightly, and nodded. "Good. I don't like yes-women, they fuck things up. So, you think I'm, what -" "An irresponsible, idealistic child who managed to, through luck and probably some skill, wind up controlling a growing paramilitary business empire," Selaia shot back, walking around her, eyeing her up. Najia snorted at that. "Child? Seriously?"
"You're not a veteran. You're not a politician. You're not a businesswoman. You might be doing a credible job pretending to be those latter two, but you're a university student who got lucky, and is good at putting on faces." Najia bristled, but shoved it down; the Argon-born starship operator was abrasively blunt... But she was airing doubts Najia herself had. "Harsh," Najia said. "But... Not entirely untrue. So, why are you still here, if you don't like me?" There was a long, quiet moment. "I didn't say I didn't like you," Selaia said, softly. "But you are all of those things." She smirked.
"And you like that, then?" Najia smirked back. "What got you discharged, presumably dishonorably, from the Argon navy? Your big mouth that can't seem to shut up? Called a superior out on some bullshit that you couldn't stand to let stand?" "You'd think that, but no; fraternization." Selaia met her gaze, levelly. "Though I was on the thinnest of ice before that for, as you say, speaking my mind." She walked around Najia, appraising her. "Are you planning to sack me? Should I grab my go bag and begone?" Laughing, Najia shook her head. "No! I was actually going to ask if you wanted the ship for real, not just for the trials."
That, at least, took Kevlin aback for a moment. She walked away, paused, turned. Looked Najia up and down again, slowly. Najia felt self-conscious about it, raising her eyebrow, as the other woman crossed her arms over her chest. "Do I have to get on my knees for the job?" Najia blinked at that. It struck her out of left field, and she rocked back on her heels. "I - I'm sorry... What?" "Do you expect me to put out - sexually - for the position," Selaia repeated, slowly, her voice... Almost unnervingly neutral; uncannily, composedly so. Najia gawped at her for a long few moments, her mouth hanging open. Closed. Open. Closed. She reached up and rubbed her face with her hands for a few moments. "I... I'm sorry, I - what kind of - where did you - what gave you..." She took a deep breath. "No. Emphatically no. What on or off Earth gave you that idea?"
A few moments that seemed like almost an eternity passed, then Selaia shrugged, and seemed to shrink in a bit, relaxing. "Frankly? You have a reputation as a party girl that goes back to Segaris and has followed you here what with all the Segaris Pioneers you're hiring away, preferentially beginning with your old circle of school pals - with whom you're pretty obviously in a, what did the Segaris call it, 'polycule' with. Your politics can only be described as 'liberal to an extreme,' given the way you run your stations domestically, and I overheard a snippet of one of your small craft pilots describing, very bluntly, you going down on her in the cockpit, after offering her the job. She was discussing this with the captain of Fenrir, who compared notes with her. I took that to infer that you liked to be sexual with those captains you personally offered a job to."
Najia flushed red, her jaw dropping, and looked out the window again, at the gas giant hanging in the distance. She groaned-and-laughed at the same time. "Fatimah and Xiaowen... I am going to scold them for gossiping somewhere public," she said, laughing so hard it brought tears to her eyes, and rubbed them out of her eyes. Then she heaved a heavy sigh. "And that didn't chase you away?" "I didn't expect I'd ever run into you personally," the shipyard expert said, "and frankly, given the dizzying breadth of corruption a kid with suddenly-unlimited power could get up to, being a little skeevy with grown adults is on the low end." Najia face-palmed again, harder. "Alright, look," she said, turning around. "Fatimah, Xiaowen and I are old friends from Segaris University. Yes, we're a thing, a big, messy, multi-tentacular thing that we're not ashamed of, but you've rather taken the wrong end of the stick there. It was roleplay, what they were discussing, pure and simple. A few moments of kink snatched from the jaws of some really messy, pressy schedules, between attempts to make the galaxy an overall better place and setbacks. Yes, I pretended to abuse my position and money to make them, for want of another word, perform to keep their jobs. And later, Fatimah turned that exact position around on me, while Xiaowen tied me up and -"
"Enough," Selaia said, laughing; finally her composure had broken, and she'd flushed, chuckling and holding her hand up. "Okay, I get it... I apologize, miss Takio. Clearly, I was badly mistaken." "... Najia, please," Najia said, blushing and grinning. "Since you already know me so well anyway."
Selaia snorted at her, and smiled, wryly, nodding. Najia met her eyes, for a long few moments. "So, that fraternization that got you kicked out of the Argon military..." "When you're a military intelligence lieutenant and a famous, well-liked starship captain insinuates that your career might stall out by standing on your feet but might go places on your knees, you weigh your options," Selaia said, bluntly. She pushed off the desk, and pushed past Najia, staring out the window herself. "So I started delivering reports from under his desk instead of in front of it. I hated myself a little, at first... Then he started telling me to sit up on his desk after. That was a little..." She huffed. "I dunno. Then his wife found out."
Najia winced. "Oh, damn. And monogamy is a big thing in Argon space, I take it?" "Well, yes, but she didn't blow up quite like you're expecting. She blew up at him all right - for not telling her and sharing me with her immediately. I got caught by my immediate superior - the one who didn't like my mouth - going to her home, who tried to use the thing to bring me, the captain and his wife - a defense industrial contractor - down. They had political connections, and when all was said and done, I basically took the fall for everything. The Lt.C who found out I was basically being half-bribed, half-blackmailed into being a kinky, connected couple's toy got to quietly resign, the captain got promoted to commodore, and I got the option to take an administrative discharge with my commission revoked for conduct unbecoming, or get totally shafted at a court martial and take the fall for everything, doing prison time."
Najia blinked at that, and winced. "That's... That's..." "If you give me a pity look, I swear I will punch you in the loins and tell you to take your offer and shove it." Proper fire glared in the skipper's eyes as she turned to look at Najia. Najia stepped back, her jaw half-dropping, and then she shook her head, laughing. "No - no! I was saying, 'that's a shit sandwich.'"
Selaia snorted roughly at her, and turned back to look out the window. "Yeah... Yeah, it was. Anyway, that was then, then I wound up here. I signed on a freighter to forget my past, made port here, decided to take a job in the shipyard because it paid better than the freighter, was work I could do, and the habs here are wonderful. Then I found myself in front of you, and, well... Sorry, for thinking you might be kind of a hump."
Najia snorted. "But not so much of a hump that it was an automatic deal-breaker, huh?" She scratched her head, craning to look up at the Oberth hanging 'above' them. "Yes... No... Maybe? I don't honestly know what I was going to say if you said yes," the Argon woman admitted. "At first, when I first... When I found the whole 'prostitution is legal and regulated' here thing, I was skeeved out. I tried to leave, but, there weren't actually any ships that would take me that day. Then I wound up actually finding out that one of my coworkers - someone I was kind of chummy with - was turning tricks on the side, and... Well, we had a chat about it. He was from Segaris, and thought it was no big deal. And, well... I... Kind of... Had whored myself. I didn't feel good about it then. I still don't, but... I was... Well, willing, I suppose, to at least see if the offer you made, the way you made it, made me feel greasy about it like it did back then, or if it was... I don't know; open? Honest?"
"Well, I'm glad to have pleasantly surprised you - though I am totally going to kill Fatimah and Xiaowen for gossiping in public," Najia muttered without sincere heat, continuing "and no... I'm really not going to demand that someone put out for a job. You just... Impressed me with what I saw, in the admittedly very brief time that I've known you, but hey, I'm the kind of impulsive idiot who takes a leap of faith based on her gut instinct."
"Then, in that case..." Selaia turned to her, and smirked. "I'll skipper this ship for you for now, but I want something bigger when it's available. And not assigned to a reaction force or routine escort or defense duty or something." Najia snorted again, and laughed. She took a step back, and looked Selaia up and down again, smirking and grinning. The formerly-Argon military intelligence woman didn't look particularly extraordinary, but she shifted to stand at 'parade rest,' arms folding behind her back, eyes piercing and patient. "Setting terms, huh?" Najia smirked. She looked like she was considering it, but Selaia had impressed her - and she was also the first hire she'd had who had a formal military background outside the Segaris Pioneers. That perspective could be useful. She crossed her arms. "It just so happens I'm planning to build more ships," she said. "Some of them will be quite large." She extended her hand to Selaia, who took and shook it, firmly. "You wouldn't happen to be planning to construct a Centaur II Battleship, would you?" Selaia asked, grinning at her. Najia laughed. "That depends; if you have the full plans for a Centaur II* in your back pocket, I'll make sure you get the first one out of the yard."
Laughing now, the other woman reached back with her free hand, and dramatically patted one of her rear pockets. "Damn, I appear to have left those plans in my other trousers." She let go, grinning and shaking her head, sighing. "Sorry, again, for... You know." Najia shook her head. "Jeeze, are you ever gonna stop beating yourself up for it?" She shook her head, laughing exasperatedly. "I don't know," the Captain answered bluntly, laughing and wryly face-palming. "I thought for sure that you were either going to say yes, or you'd fire me on the spot for even asking. And now I'm asking myself, do I even deserve the post?"
"For, what? Being willing to entertain the idea?" Najia shook her head, and, taking a bit of a risk, reached out and laid her hand heavily on Captain Kevlin's shoulder, squeezing it. "It's not like I'm running a state military with rules against fraternization or anything. What I care about is; can you do it, and are you someone whose general... Mmmmmh... It's not exactly right to say 'someone whose morals I like,' so much as..." Najia trailed off for a moment; Ace's morals were certainly questionable, even by her standards - in some cases especially by her standards - but she had bonded with her, trusted her. "Someone I feel I can trust to continue to be someone whose actions I like. If you wanna be woo-woo about it, someone whose spirit I like. And you? I have a good feeling about you; I've been wrong before, but... Not often."
Selaia snorted at her, looking at her, then looking back to the window. "And you'd trust someone who was willing to go down on you to get the post?" "As its own qualification, no. But it doesn't make me distrust you," Najia said. "Especially with how you were prepared to evaluate how a 'yes' answer made you feel and then tell me to take that offer and shove it. So, we good? You want to skipper a ship for me?" "Just that simply? No... Strings attached?"
Najia laughed, and turned, leaning against the windowsill and looking at the other woman's head in profile, smirking. "Do you want strings attached?" Selaia started at the question, turning to look at her. She worked her mouth a few times, but couldn't seem to find words; she did, however, flush warmly, looking somewhat guilty, and swallowed. "Okay, look; you're conflicted, obviously." Najia took the professional spacer's hand, squeezing it carefully. "Like I said, the job is yours if you say yes, no strings attached. Completely separately from that, if you are interested in, you know, the idea of getting to know me more thoroughly, that's, you know, a matter we can bring up later. And if you're not, then I'm not going to mention it again."
Flushing, Selaia turned away from her, but kept her hands in hers; squeezing Najia's hand, tightly. "This is so fucking unprofessional of me to even be considering," she huffed. "Sure it is. And you impressed me by being able to put on and take off the 'Professional Selaia' almost instantly. I bet you could summon 'Captain Kevlin' back in a moment."
Selaia blinked at her, turning her head to look at her. She drew her hand back, took a deep breath, and faced the window again. Folded her arms behind her back, and executed a crisp right-face, her face schooled into stern impassivity. Her eyes were mirthful, but the rest was the very picture of the woman Najia had seen standing by at attention while she indulged herself in helming the ship personally. "Just like that," Najia said, grinning brightly. Her grin softened Selaia's demeanor, and she smiled in turn. "You're a deep well of passion who can put on 'military bearing' in a moment. And you're not a yes-woman. That's what I need."
Working her jaw slightly, Selaia relaxed, chuckling and sighing; she flushed again, and sighed. "Thank you," she said. "For the opportunity; for not getting pissed at me, for... Well, for being understanding, and tolerating me being an aggro neurotic about it when things didn't go the ways I'd seen them going." "It's fine," Najia assured her, holding her hands up, placatingly, and to her surprise, Selaia took them, squeezing. "I, um... I..." Flushing and looking away, Selaia swallowed. "Is that offer going to be on the table if I need to sleep on it?"
Najia laughed, grinning and shaking her head. "Oh, you're amazing. Yes, absolutely; sleep on it. Hell, I have to get going; places to go, pirate clans to infiltrate. Fun stuff! Speaking of which, please make the ship combat-ready and take it to the Windfall/Eighteen B hardpoint to dock. I'm not saying I expect anything to go down, but..."
"Understood." Selaia looked back up; she remained flushed, but smiled. "That, I can do." She squeezed Najia's hands, and Najia squeezed back, then let go. She pivoted on her heel, slipping out of the Ready Room and headed for the lift; Ace and Marta had disembarked said left and were standing to the side of the corridor, with Marta telling Ace an anecdote from when they were still young class-taking students at Segaris U. "Well that took longer than expected," Marta said. "Everything good?" "Everything's good," Najia said. "And we have a new captain. I figured she should keep Koshirae for now. So, how does this lift-teleporter work?"
"Like this," Ace said, stepping into the lift. She pressed a button, and Najia felt a strange, yet familiar sensation start to take hold; like the feeling she got just before the headquarters had transported itself. Like falling in all directions at once; then, with a bright flash, she found herself in another lift. Blinking, Najia felt herself up for a few moments, then strode out; they were on one of the landing pads at the headquarters, and standing above them was the Golden Flea. Her jaw dropped. "That... That... Was both incredible, and..." "Somehow underwhelming," Ace concluded with her. "It was not wholly without fanfare, yet somehow, I anticipated... More."
Najia nodded. "Right. So, how should we do this?" She looked to Ace, who smiled at her. "We stagger the arrival of Chipmunk's ships and mine in the vicinity of the Arcadian Endeavour, as though we had scattered, lain low, and were returning from somewhat different places." Najia nodded. "Right. And, I wonder... Would it be possible to fit the Flea with a teleporter?"
"Indeed it would," Ace agreed. "I asked Boso Ta if this was possible and he said it was very simple. He delivered the equipment to the Flea before I had finished asking, in fact, though I do not think I will be able to install it and fly home simultaneously." Najia grinned at Ace, and Ace grinned back at her, adding, "but, if you wished to fly back with me, one of us could tinker, while the other flies."
Najia grinned at Ace, and looked back to Marta. "That sounds good to me. Would you please take the Jackdaw and -" "Head on ahead while the two of you fiddle with Ace's ship and snuggle up naked while the ship is on autopilot?" Marta asked back, smirking. Najia flushed, glancing around; there was nobody within earshot. "Mmmm-hmmmm. You ain't foolin' noone, sister." Marta grasped Najia, pulled her close, and kissed her. Najia felt herself melt into the grasp, kissing back instinctually, embracing her oldest friend and turning her head to meet the kiss. Then it ended, Marta pulled back, and stepped back, looking down at Ace with her hands on her hips.
Ace blinked, peering up at the far-taller, stronger human. For a moment, she was concerned she would be threatened again, then she sucked in a sharp breath as Marta reached under her arms, grasped her chest, and simply lifted her to eye-level, then hugged her tightly. Ace let the breath out slowly, tentatively returning the embrace, and asked, "I... thought you distrusted me," she commented. "I did," Marta said, bluntly. "But Najia, apparently, took a chance on you, and figures you're alright. She's been right about that kind of thing a lot more often than I have." Marta squeezed her, and Ace sucked in a breath in alarm; the human could probably squeeze her so strongly that she passed out, yet she didn't squeeze so hard she hurt. It rather felt like being in Najia's arms, in fact. "So, I'm guessing you're one of us now. That ain't gonna be a problem with, you know, the whole pirate clan, is it?"
There it was; the proverbial shoe. Najia swallowed, glad that Ace couldn't see. She had been studiously not raising that point. "It will not be, provided... Provided I am not asked to betray the Curs. Membership in a pirate clan is... Voluntary, for the most part," Ace said. "I will not betray them." She looked back at Najia. "And, I think, neither will you." "But you are willing to leave them... For us?"
"For you," Ace said, reaching out with her tail, wrapping it around Najia's arm. "And, perhaps, the rest of you, in time," she added, looking at Marta, trilling softly. "But I will have to see the Maestro's big scheme through." "Family. I get that," Marta opined, setting Ace down. "Y'all fly safe. We'll filter in like a disorganized rabble."
Ace nodded, and turned to board the Flea. "What took you so long, anyway?" "Oh geeze." Najia followed the Teladi pilot. "It's a long story."
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🔴ABOUT US🟢
ForexToken is run by 6 highly professional traders . This platform is a joint effort of elite team traders aiming to assist the less fortunate traders to go shoulder to shoulder with the world renowned traders on scale of smartness and successful outcome.
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2023.03.26 12:22 stlatos Uralic Animal Names, etc.
*h2loupehk^- > G. alṓpēx, Arm. ałuēs, Skt. lopāśá-s, A. luumóo ‘fox’, Ni. livaša, Kt. řavéki, Kv. vříka, *-aka > Is. urvesok
*rompek’ > *rompec’ > *repomc’ > *repäns’ > F. repo, Es. rebane, Mv. r’ives’, Hn. raasz
These have been seen as loans, but no Iranian word matches completely (various Dardic ones also given for comparison), so either not a loan or some changes in PU obscured its origin. The *-ns’ (if original) would match G. as a C-stem (with -C > -0 in nom. for PU). If related, evidence that u was w after V, vp > mp (maybe like A. luumóo, other ev. that Dardic m \ v alternated). In *h2loupehk^- > G. alṓpēx, *ovp > *o_p > *ōp (like dáphnē \ daukhnā- ‘laurel’, with u disappearing before ph but not kh showing it was *v even in very old dialects). The k^ : c’ found in so many words seems to support their relation.
Skt. caṭaka- ‘sparrow’, Hi. ciṛā, Ben. côṛai, B. čOṛkuṛi ‘bird’, Rom. čiriklo
*či(n)čä > Sm. cicce ‘sparrow / small bird’, *či(n)čikä > Skp. čičik(a)
*c’iNc’V(kV) > Nen. s’inc’ek ‘small bird’
*c’Vlc’V > Mi. c’ül’c’ ‘wading bird (redshank?)’
*čäčkä > Z. čakčej, Mv. šekšej ‘spotted woodpecker’
*čac’kV > Sm. cisku ‘falcon’
*s’äRkc’e > Z čikči, F. sääksi ‘kite’, Es. sääsk
It is hard to think all these words are unrelated. Only a small group of Indo-Iran. languages have the basic word for ‘bird’ contain č-k-R. Dardic languages often show assim. of affricates (c-č > č-č , etc.) if *ki > *c’i in *čaṛkiṛu > čaṛc’iṛu etc. It is again likely r > R > k in some.
*k^h2anku- > Skt. śaŋkú- ‘twig/peg/post/stake/spike/stick/arrow’
*čxeŋkV > Sm. *cэŋkē prop/strut/support’, Ud. čog ‘nail’, Hn. csegely ‘wedge-shaped field/meadow’
This supposes *cseg ‘wedge’ >> csegely. The cs- instead of s- in Hn. might be caused by a cluster instead of plain č (reasonaly it would be čx or c’x ) and the IE words have -a-, meaning h2 should be there. This is unlikely to be chance.
Skt. nā́man-, G. ónuma, Lac. énuma-, Arm. anun, TA ñom, TB ñem; *nime > F. nimi ‘name’
This is a hard one. There’s a vague similarity, but what kind of strange changes could have brought this *nime about? It’s a little too much for me. I’ll have to come back to this later, using all my faculties to their fullest.
*dhuh2tó- ‘shaken / fanned’, *dhuh2ti-s ‘smoke’ > Skt. dhūtá- \ dhutá- ‘shaken / agitated’, B. dukti ‘soul / last breath’; *dhuxti > *dhwati > *lwali > *lewle > F. löyly ‘spirit / steam from the sauna stove’, Hn. lélëk ‘soul’
More t > l. That it is closest to Dardic with Toch. uh2 > ua > wa would be important.
*-es, *V-:s (pl); *-t
This would make the most sense if s > θ in some environments in PU (after V but not before C, for ex.). If s could merge with t, the odd treatment of t in PU, like t > l, could be from the same change. This would mean t > l could come from t > θ > l. This means s > l would be possible between V’s (that is, for -s- and -s, the difference is > l but not after C, not word-final).
*wes- > OE wesan ‘be/remain’, Skt. vásati ‘dwell’, TB woloktär ‘dwells’; *wole- > F. ole- ‘be’
This is what would be required if they were related; the similarity to TB is clear, but this is usually taken as contamination with koloktär (below)
*kWelh- > G. pélomai ‘move’, Skt. cárati ‘move/wander’, TB koloktär ‘follows’; F. kulke- ‘go/walk/travel’
If they were related; the similarity to TB is clear. Toch. had k / 0 (which I say came from *x in
>
*memsuxā- > *pesukā- > TA puskāñ
*memsuxā- > *pesuā- > *peswā- > TB passoñ ‘muscles’
*lewax^- > *lewa(k)- > TA lu, pl. lwāk
*lewax^- > *lewa(s)- > TB luwo, pl. lwāsa ‘animal’
*gWHoluwxo- > *guluxo- > Arm. glux ‘head/summit/end / chief’
*gWHoluwāx > *golwā > R. golová ‘head’, Li. galvà
*mxulto:(n) > *mxëlto > TA mkälto ‘young’, malto ‘in the first place’
Toch. and Arm. having some *x > k / 0 would match *k > *x > 0 in:
Skt. srákva- \ sṛkvaṇ- ‘corner of mouth’, TB *sǝrkwan- > *sǝrxwan- > särwāna (pl. tan.) ‘face’
>
L. dingua, TA käntu, TB kantwo; *kääle > F. kieli
or
Li. liežùvis, Kh. ligìni ‘tongue’ (reanalyzed with *leig^h- ‘lick’ ); *leikwi > *läike > *kääle > F. kieli
If close to Toch., similar to *mntis > L. menti-; *manti > *menle > *meele > F. mieli ‘reason/understanding’). That it is closest to Toch. would be important.
If close to Dardic, the long *ää would correspond to *ei (which would need to be shortened before CC elsewhere). That it is closest to IE with reanalyzed forms would be important.
*h2anti- \ -o- \ -0- > Skt. ánta- ‘end/limit’, Go. andeis, H. hanz() = xant-s ‘front’, TA ānt, TB ānte ‘surface/forehead’; *anli > *ajŋe ‘brain/temple’ F. aivo(t), H. agy
This seems to show nt > ŋl then l > l’ before front, l’ > j after N (before nl > _l ). A similar case, with no fronting in tu vs. ti
*pett(u)ro- > Arm. pHetur ‘feather’, Skt. pátatra- ‘wing/feather’, pátra- / páttra-
*pewturo > *pimtulo > *piŋlule > *piŋul \ *piŋe > Es. püvi, F. pyy ‘hazelhen’, Mv. povo, H. fogoly \ fogor-\fogu-madár
In which dissim. of l-l in *piŋlule > *piŋul prevented loss of ŋ. The opt. change of tt > wt in Arm. is similar (see Skt. aṃ-vitti- ‘not finding’, Arm. an-giwt ‘not found’; *wid-ti- >Arm. giwt -i- ‘finding / invention’, git -i- ‘finding / gift’). The alt. of w \ m \ ŋ seen in others (*pilŋ- \ *pilm- \ *pilv- ‘dark, cloud’; *xaŋ’t’a- > ŋ \ n’ \ m > X. âŋǝt ‘horn/antler’, Mi. ān’t, Nen. n’amtǝ). Other met. might have created:
*pimtula > *limputa > *linta \ *lunta > F. lintu ‘bird’, X. lont \ tunt ‘goose’, Hn. lúd
in which the alt. of 2 V’s in i \ u come from *i-u in the older form, just like i \ u for ‘fly’:
*pimtula > *pimlula > *limpula > *limplä \ *lum(p)lä > *lum(p)ä(l)- \ *lim(p)ä(l)- > H. libëg- \ lebëg- ‘float’, libben- ‘fly up / flutter’, levegöö ‘air’, Ud. lob-, lobal- ‘fly’, Z. leb-, le.bal-
*polh1o- ‘broad’ > OCS polŭ ‘side/shore’; *päxlä > Mv. päl’ ‘side’, Sm. bælle ‘side/half (lengthwise)’, F. -piele
If h1 = x^ this palatal would opt. change V > front. Met. of lx > xl
*pah2g^s(a)lo- > G. pássalos ‘peg’, L. *pakslos > pālus ‘stake’; *paaK^lo > *pääK^lo > *peele > Es. peel ‘pole/post’, F. pieli ‘(door)post/jamb’, Hn. ajtó-fél
If native, h2 = x would prevent xg^ from becoming xd^; after VxC > V:C, this palatal g^ would opt. change V > front. It’s possible the double K(^) here caused both length, then long V before a C > 0 was raised. This explanation would be unavailable if a loan from L. (or indirectly).
*gWrh2ur- > Go. kaurus, G. barús, Skt. gurú- ‘heavy’; *gWraxur > *gWraurǝ > *läwlǝ > F. läyli ‘heavy’
As in Arm., old *-ur in u-stems. If final -V added after all -r, it might only remain in those words that would become monosyl. if lost. It’s also possible -x- was lost in Vxu and Vxi first ( > Vwu and Vji ), hard to tell. Looking at this, it’s possible that TB krāmär did not come from a derivative in *-mr or *-wr but instead directly:
*gWrh2ur- > *gWraxur > *gWrawur > *gwrawur > *grawur > *gramur >TB krāmär ‘weight’, kramartse ‘heavy’
with w-w dissim., then w > m by u.
*wedo- > Arm. get ‘river’, *do-are-wedo- > W. darwedd ‘bubbling/fountain/spring’
*wete > F. vesi, g. veden, Mi. wit(’), Hn. víz, acc. vizet
*wediko- > *wed’iko- > *woð’kV > Z. vol’ ‘small river’
Now, if *wete means ‘water’ and *woð’kV ‘small river’, doesn’t that imply the existence of *-kV as a diminutive? As in F. poika ‘son/boy’? The alt. of e / o here would show either ablaut or optional rounding; whichever you pick, both seen in IE in this word (*wodo:r > *wudo:r in G.). The sound that became either *t or *ð’ implies either d > t / ð’ in different environments or ð > t / ð’ (and voicing as original would be preferred, since *tk > *dk would not be ususal).
Skt. putraká- ‘little son/boy/child’, *pütRak^á > *pöxäc^a > Kt. pe-éts \ pe-éz, Dm. paai, A. phay- / phoó ‘boy’; *polraka > F. poika ‘son/boy’
V-harmony u-a > o-a again. The change of t > l after V as before could give *polraka > *porlaka > *porlka > *pojka > F. poika (with no more ex.), but the palatalization in Dardic could be responsible instead (it could be that the suffix was *-akx^a- not *-aka- , etc., hard to tell).
*webh- > OE webb ‘web/weft/woven work’, *webhto- ‘cloth’ > Av. ubdaēna-; *wepte- ‘catch with a net’ > Mr. wapte-, Ud. votes
If this shows the existence of PU *weptV- ‘net’ to a verb *wepte- ‘catch with a net’, it would be hard not to see IE.
*syuh1- ’sew / stitch’, L. sūtor ‘shoemaker’, OPr schumeno ‘shoemaker’s filament’
*syuh1to- > OHG siut ‘suture/seam’, Skt. syūtá-, Li. siútas; *s(j)ukto > *sukse > F. suksi ‘ski / snowshoe’
If t > θ first, kθ > ks before θ > l. The many matches of h : k don’t seem like chance.
G. kurtía ‘wickerwork shield’, kúrtē ‘fish-basket’, Skt. kuti(:)- ‘hut’
*kuta > *kota > F. kota, Sm. goatte ‘tent / Lapp hut’
*külä > F. kylä ‘village/dwelling’, Mi. kül ‘house’
If rt only opt. > rl, it would fit. There are too many words with the same meaning showing front vs. back harmony to be coincidence. Some are caused by *jV (jalka ‘foot / leg’ vs. *jelkä > jälki ‘footprint’), this would require opt. u > ü > u / i as in Arm., Dardic. The same in *wülä below.
*ud- > Go. ut, Skt. ud-; *wülä \ *wilä \ *wile > ylä- ‘uppehigh(er)’, yle-mpi
With d > l, u- > wu-; if not a derivative, it would require opt. u > ü > u / i as in Arm., Dardic. The same in Skt. kuti(:)- ‘hut’; *kuta > *kota > F. kota, Sm. goatte ‘tent / Lapp hut’, *külä > Mi. kül ‘house’)
*ud-t(e)ro- > Skt. úttara- ‘upper’; *udteRo > *uðtego > *tuðego > *tuð’ka > F. tutka ‘tip/peak’, Mi. tal’ǝk
Met. before any further changes of dt (if the same as tt).
*(s)kermn- > Skt. cárman- ‘skin/hide’; *k’er’man > *c’eð’mä > *c’ämd’e > *c’äpte > Sm. čävddë ‘skin/bark’, Nen. s’āpt
The same change in G. pérdix ‘partridge’; *perdā > *pað’ta > Mi. pal’tā ‘black grouse’, Hn. fajd, then met. (maybe d’m > md’ > bd > pt was regular).
*septǝmó- ‘7th’ > G. hebdomós, OPr sep(t)mas, L. septimus; *s’eŋ’c’emä > F. seitsemä- ‘7’, Z. s’iz’im
The great similarity and possibility of Ce > C’e being so strong makes a relation nearly certain. Now, if this might come from a word with -pt- and it contains -ŋ’c’- there instead (or whatever cluster you prefer), shouldn’t this be taken as evidence that pt could change into mt \ ŋt before palatalization? This is because of he alt. of w \ m \ ŋ seen in others (*pilŋ- \ *pilm- \ *pilv- ‘dark, cloud’; *xaŋ’t’a- > ŋ \ n’ \ m > X. âŋǝt ‘horn/antler’, Mi. ān’t, Nen. n’amtǝ; *petturo- > *pewturo > *pimtulo > *piŋlule > *piŋul \ *piŋe > Es. püvi, F. pyy ‘hazelhen’, Mv. povo, H. fogoly \ fogor-\fogu-madár). That tt and pt could become mt matches Arm. (with tt / pt > wt(H) all possible). This kind of coincidence is not believable.
If the ‘7th’ > ‘7’ change was shared in the higher numbers, the clusters *-tt- in both ‘5’ and ‘6’ would be from *-CCto- in ‘5th’ and ‘6th’ in IE. Some also added *-ti-, which might be closer.
*y(e)mho- > ON Ymir, Skt. yamá- ‘twin’; *jaxma > F. jama \ jaama ‘joint’, Sm. juomek ‘twin lamb’
If this is a loan, it would show metathesis and IE *h > *x in reconstructions, good evidence for its existence for those who have made a case for Vx vs V: or V > V: in the past.
*wag^- > G. ágnūmi ‘break/shatter’, Skt. vájra-s ‘Indra’s thunderbolt’, Av. vazra- ‘Mithra’s club’; *vas’ara > F. vasara ‘hammer’, TB bhaśīr ‘lightning’
These seem like loans into both PU and Toch. The V’s in both probably come from *vadz’ǝra- with various V’s (ǝ > i is expected in Indic, Skt. vs. Pkt). Likely Iran. *vadz’ǝra- > *vaz’ǝra- > PU *vas’ara, Indic *vadz’ǝra- > *vadžǝra- > *vadžira- etc. A loan of this age does not show that *Kr would become KVr in PU in native words (or earlier loans).
*k^oh3no-s ? > G. kônos ‘(pine-)cone / spinning top? / bullroarer?’, Skt. śān(.)a-s ‘whetstone’, MP afsān, Shu. pisēn, Os. insōn(ë), Kh. usàn, Rom. (y)asan; *päxnV > Ud. penon, Hn. fen- ‘sharpen/whet / whetstone’
If a loan, it is closest to Shu. pisēn which would show CVC- > CC- (like Skt. pāṃsulá- ‘dusty’, Ni. pasalä ‘dust’, *psulá > Dk. phúla ‘ashes’; *psora > Hn. por ‘dust/powdeashes’). If native, it would show the unexplained *pk^- or *nk^- \ *mk^- in Indo-Iran. was old (many different affixes attached to a noun make little sense). Note the *h causing opt. n > ṇ (maybe a similar hn > nHnH in Dv.).
*hanhtukāh \ *hanhtikāh > Li. antuka ‘snipe’, Slavic *ontĭka > R. utka ‘duck’; *s’oðka > F. sotka ‘scaup (diving duck)’, Mv. s’ulgo
If utka ‘duck’ : sotka ‘scaup (diving duck)’ is wrong, it would be odd. If right, it would show V > 0 creating *tuk > *θuk > *ðk or similar in the middle syllables. If syllabic h > a, a sequence
*hanhtukāh
*hanatukāh
*hnatukāh
*hnaθukāh
*hnaθkāh
might work. It depends on the nature of the first *h- (whether x or x^ > s^ (or dissim. of x-x earlier)). If *x^ > *s’ here, *Cn- > C- at some point. In H. lahanza(n)-, it’s possible that *h- > *R- > l- (instead of n-n, which did not exist in PIE at least).
Since *toktaŋ’ > X. taxtǝŋ, F. tohtaja \ tohtava ‘Arctic loon / black-throated diver’ seems to be met. of the form that also gave *s’oðka > F. sotka ‘scaup (diving duck)’ (both similar diving birds), it’s likely:
*x^anxtukāx ( = *hanhtukāh )
*x^aŋxtukāx
*x^aŋatukāx
*x^aŋaθukāx
*x^aŋaθukā
*x^aŋaθokā u-a > o-a
*x^ŋaθokā
*x^ŋaθkā *x^ŋoθkā
with V1-V2 > either when middle V > 0 (like *pimtula > *limputa > *linta \ *lunta > F. lintu ‘bird’, X. lont \ tunt ‘goose’). Then, the very odd form would undergo several cases of met. and assim., which were regular would be hard to tell:
*x^ŋoθkā
*s^ŋoθkā
*s^oθkā
*s’oðka
*x^ŋoθkā
*s^ŋoθkā
*θ^ŋoθkā fric-assim.
*θ^ŋokθā met.
*t^ŋoktā reg.?
*tŋ^oktā
*toktāŋ^
*toktaŋ’
This also seems to be behind the various words for types of duck, all very similar and showing met., assim., even if not IE:
*xaŋV(t’)- ‘polar duck’ > Sm. haŋŋā, Nen. ŋāŋū, En. ŋau, Nna. ŋaŋod’a ‘duck’
*ka(n)c’V
*če(n)čV
*wajc’V
The likeness of these words to each other and *xaŋV(t’)- to IE *hanht(i)-, etc., seems like more than chance. Some of the likely changes:
*kaŋ’c’V > *k’aŋc’V > *čanc’V
*k’aŋc’V > *k’amc’V > *k’awc’V > *wak’c’V > *wajc’V
with some of the developments not certain due to the unique clusters.
*mangyo- ‘man’ > Slavic *monžjo- > R. muž; *man’c’V > F. mies, Mi. man’s’i, OHn. mogy-, H. magy-
This has been seen as a loan; whatever source would still show a change within PU.
Iran. *muxšti- ‘fist’ > Avestan mušti-, *müRšti- > Kv. mř'üšt, *muxštika- > Ni. mustik; *mučkV > Ud. mïžïk, Mv. mokšna
This has been seen as a loan; whatever source would still show a change V > 0 in mid. syllable, št(‘) > č.
*peu- / *pau- ‘cut / divide’ >> L. putāre ‘cut/trim/prune’, *ambi- > amputāre ‘cut off’, *pautsk^- > TA putk- ‘cut / divide/distinguish/separate/share’, TB pautk-; *päčkä- > Mv. pečke- ‘cut’, F. pätki- ‘cut into pieces’, *püčkV- > pytki- ‘cut into long slices’, *pučkV- > puhkaise- ‘pierce/puncture’, Mr. püškä- ‘sting/bite (of insects)’
The alt. in PU could show *au / *aü > *äü etc. That *pautsk^- > pautk- : *päčkä- : *püčkV- : *pučkV- might not be true, with all the other similarities between PU and Toch. (*kWelh- > G. pélomai ‘move’, Skt. cárati ‘move/wander’, TB koloktär ‘follows’; F. kulke- ‘go/walk/travel’; *pedyāx > TA päts, TB patsa ‘bottom’; *potsjä > *pesä > F. pesä ‘nest’; etc.) requires some explanation; the alt. within PU would need *au or *aü independent of this, but its match is telling.
*g^hans(o\i)- > OHG gans, E. goose, Skt. haṃsá- ‘goose / swan’, OIr géis ‘swan’; *jomkc’e(n) > F. joutsen ‘swan’, Sm. njuk’čâ, Mr. jükšǝ; Y. jaŋdže ‘goose’
These are much too similar to be unrelated. The nasal in Nkc’ can’t be determined from internal ev., but either IE or Y. would require a > o by m. The changes to k^ in *h2ag^- > L. agō ‘drive/act’; *aja- > F. aja- ‘drive/chase’; *h2ak^ma:h2 > G. akmḗ ‘point/edge’; *äjmä ‘needle’; show that k^ > x^ or γ^ / V_V or V_N were matched by g^h > j (except before i ). Palatalized nT > ŋT’ also in *h2anti- > TB ānte ‘surface/forehead’; *anli > *ajŋe ‘brain/temple’ > F. aivo(t). This differing from *mangyo- : *man’c’V might show different timing of pal. by y vs. i or alt. in the pronunciation of n’ (like for m / ng, etc.).
Likely that this includes:
*γ’ansi- = *g^hansi-
*γ’ans’i-
*γ’aŋs’i-
*γ’aŋks’i-
*γ’amks’i-
*γ’omks’i-
*jomks’i-
*jomkc’i-
with the same changes seen elsewhere (ŋ > m opt., rounding by P, pal. before front); it’s likely n’ > ŋ’ after a V, ŋ’- > n’- word-initial, if reg.).
*yuhs(o)- ‘soup’ > Skt. yu(:)s.á-, Li. júšė, *yuhmo- > G. zū́mē ‘leaven’, zōmós ‘broth’; *jamV > Mv. jam ‘soup’, Nga. jamâ ‘gruel of blood/meat/flouwater’
This would show uh > wa as in *dhuh2ti-s > B. dukti ‘soul / last breath’; *dhuxti > *dhwati > *lwali > *lewle > F. löyly ‘spirit / steam from the sauna stove’, Hn. lélëk ‘soul’; then *jwama > *jama.
*gWiyó- > G. biós, Skt. jiyā́-, Av. jyā- ‘bowstring / sinew’; *jijä > *jäji > *jäje > je ‘broad strap’, Skp. tjyy, Kam. t’ī; Y. juo ‘girdle/belt’
*gWiy(e)tlo- > L. fīlum \ fīlus ‘string/cord’, Li. gīsla ‘vein/sinew’; *jetlax > *jätnex > *jäntek > F. jänne ‘bowstring / sinew’, *jätnex > *jänne > jänni ‘frenulum of tongue’
*gWiyó- : *jäje is not in need of great thought. Obviously these words look very much like IE ones (a 2-syllable word with j-y vs. y-y in such a specialized meaning would be unlikely, and this is unlikely match # 45), and the existence of extensions with t in both (or s > t or t > s, if needed) would be hard to explain. This shows merger of g^h and gW before front (if not an assim. of C-j > j-j after palatalization). Some of this could depend on opt. gW > gw (as previous). Again, for CVC- > CC-, this would give *jij- > *j- in *jetlax (or similar depending on timing); both *-etlo- and *-tlo- are seen in tool-words, maybe ablaut in IE. Other words show n / l within PU, so if tl > tn was not regular, the same here. The fem. *-āh > *-ax seems needed to explain ev. of other words in Samoyed with -’ (glottal stop) where the rest have -0.
*sh2ai- > H. ishiya- ‘bind’, ishuzzi- ‘belt/sash’, *sh2aito- > L. saeta ‘coarse haibristle’, Arm. haytHem ‘attach’; *sitV > F. sito- ‘bind/fasten’, side, gen. siteen ‘bandage’
Either original ai > i(i) or ablaut.
More opt. ŋ > m in
*y(e)mho- > ON Ymir, Skt. yamá- ‘twin’; *jaxma > F. jama \ jaama ‘joint’, Sm. juomek ‘twin lamb’
*jäsŋe > Mv. jäz’n’ä, Mr. ježǝŋ, F. jäsen ‘joint/limb’
which might show ŋ’ > n’ in some (if *ymho- = *ymx^o- > *yax^ma- with met. of palatalization after x^ > s^).
The existence of alt. within PU is clear; these words require an explanation no matter what their source:
*yah2giyo- > *yagi- \ *yago- > OIr aig ‘ice’, ON jaki ‘piece of ice’, Wx. yaz ‘glacier’, Kh. yòz ‘ice’; *jäxŋje > *jäŋxe > F. jää ‘ice’, Sm. jiekŋa
*jaŋka ‘ice hole’ in Samoyed (showing *ja- ( > *jä- ) was opt. in all )
*jäxkšV > Mr. jükše- ‘become cold’, F. jä(ä)hty- ‘cool (down)’
*jänte- > Mi. jant-, Z. jed- ‘freeze’
If g or γ > ŋ in *jäŋe, the lack of a nasal in *jäxkšV is explained as the oldest form. This shows opt. *ja > *jä (*jäŋe ‘ice’, *jaŋka ‘ice hole’), matching other *a-i, *a-j. PIE *ya(h2)giyo- giving the *eh > *ah ( > *a ) and opt. dissim. of y-y > y-0 (to explain o- vs. i-stems) would allow similar variants in PU with *x and *j > C to be related. As in opt. j > s’ previously, this would show kj > ks’ > kš (like xj > xs’ > š for *pekW-ye\o- > *pek’-yo- > *pix’yo- > *pišä- ‘bake/roast’). The 2 C’s in *jaŋka vs. *jänte- also come from changes to j; since this shows γ > ŋ in *jäŋe, j > γ’ would also be able to become ŋ’, and other words show this. If some of this created ŋŋ’, a change > ŋŋ > ŋk is possible (other paths exist). With g^ > d^ > t^ > t in others, *jänte- could come from ŋγ ‘> ŋg’ (and a shift of palatalization to ŋ’g might be the source of ŋk also, hard to tell). This would also show that *ä-o > *ä-e occurred, and if for all front V, it would explain the many *-e and *-a in PU as partly from *-o-.
These same changes in F. jalka ‘foot / leg’, jälki ‘footprint, etc., seem to show more ev. of ja \ jä (and fronting caused by j or front V’s in general). With the l > n in *gWiy(e)tlāh > *jijetlax > *jetlax > *jätnex, it makes sense that these words were related (some say loans):
*g^heh1- > *gēn- > E. go, G. kikhā́nō ‘reach/find / overtake’, Alb. ngah ‘run/hasten’, Skt. jáhāti ‘*leave > abandon / renounce’
Skt. jáŋghā- ‘ankle/shank’, Os. zëng(ë) ‘shin/stalk’ >> L. zanga \ zancha ‘Parthian shoe’, It. zanca ‘leg’
*jalka > F. jalka ‘foot / leg’
*jelkä > F. jälki ‘footprint / track/trace/trail’
*jVCka > *jokkV-tta > *jo:h-ta > F. juohtua ‘come up / arise’, Mv. jaka- ‘walk’
*jänxe- > *jäŋV > F. jää- ‘remain’, Hn. jön \ jő \ jöv- \ jö- \ győn \ gyün(n) ‘come’, Mi. ji- \ jäj- \ jüw- \ jin’kve ‘(be)come’
*jekkV- ‘dance’ > Mi. jēk-
The many changes are, again, needed even if not a loan, not related, but only within PU. Since a root is often called by the word for ‘foot’ in other languages (even zëng(ë) ‘shin/stalk’ is part of this range of meaning), the similar changes in these words are likely ev. of other alternation:
*jekkVrV ‘root’ > Ms. jükäär, Hn. gyökér
*jälŋV ‘stump’ > Sm. jâlŋes
*(s)kermn- > Skt. cárman- ‘skin/hide’; *k’er’man > *c’eð’mä > *c’ämd’e > *c’äpte > Sm. čävddë ‘skin/bark’, Nen. s’āpt
*k’er’man > *kelmä > F. kelmä ‘membrane/surface’, kelme(e-) ‘white surface layer of birchbark’, Z. ken’
*kal’we > F. kalvo ‘membrane’, Mi. khal’p ‘*skin (flakes) > dandruff’, xal’ǝp ‘white surface layer of birchbark’
It is not reasonable that so many words for ‘skin/bark’ with the same shape be considered unrelated. I’ll add that in many languages, simply translating these as ‘skin’ not ‘membrane/surface (layer)’ is done, but since the distinction exists in English I avoided this to keep from appearing to only give data favoring my interpretation. These show m > w (as previous), and probably k’-r’ > k-r’ before k’ > c’ (compare opt. n’-l’ in *n’el’ja \ *nel’ja ‘4’ )
There are many examples of metathesis of K-P and P-K in Balto-Slavic. This has led to a loan being used to explain some of:
*pekW- ‘cook’ > Skt. pácyate, L. coquere, R. pekú, Li. kepù
*pexje- \ *pexije- > Mv. pije-, Hn. fő- ‘cook/boil’, En. feri’a-
*pišä- > Sm. bâsse- ‘roast on a spit’, Ud. pïž ‘bake/roast’, Mi. pīt- ‘cook/brew’
*kewje- \ *keje-? > F. keittä- ‘boil/cook’, Hn. köved- ‘boiled down’
*kips’ä > F. kypsä ‘ripe/cooked/baked’
I do not think 4 different IE languages happened to give 4 different loans at 4 different times into Uralic. There is no IE with e-y > i-y, p > w / 0, etc., needed for all (or maybe any) of these. The met. in R. pekú, Li. kepù is tempting, but this would still need pj > wj ( > j ), pj > ps’, e-j > i-j or some set of changes to explain all this. Since some of these are ‘ripe’ vs. ‘cook’ by itself, the odd cluster in *pekWwó- > Skt. pakvá- ‘cooked/baked/ripe’ might be responsible for met. to fix kWw, creating 2 sets. The alt. of e \ i in both groups is unlikely to be from separate causes; no IE with e > i here could be responsible, and there aren’t two IE with e > i AND k-p < p-k in one, not in the other. The same alt. in both groups then shows both groups were native, with a change not seen elsewher, more V-harmony. What I think happened:
*pekW-ye\o- > *pekwye- > *pekweye- > *pekwiye- > *pexije- ‘cook/boil’
*pekW-ye\o- > *pek’-yo- > *pix’yo- > *pišä- ‘bake/roast’
*pekW-wó- > *kWep-wó- > *kWep-yó- > *k(w)ipja > *kips’ä ‘ripe/cooked/baked’
*kWep-yó- > *kWew-yó- > *kewje- ‘boil/cook’
This requires alt. of kW \ kw and p \ f \ w (elsewhere), with j > dz’ > s’ opt. This p / w is required here in PU even for the alt. in F. keittä- ‘boil/cook’, kypsä ‘ripe/cooked/baked’. No matter what the source is, it exists, and has never been applied to other words. Knowing that p > w (or p > 0, depending on the timing and which reconstruction of PU is right) is possible, but never looking for matches of p : w when checking for cognates is not a useful method. The other examples of alt. also are needed within PU, even if ALL of these are loans, due to not being found in known IE languages. This means that we can get *witte ‘5’ from *penkWto- (as *septǝmó- ‘7th’ > L. septimus; *s’eŋ’c’emä > F. seitsemä- ‘7’). If the ‘7th’ > ‘7’ change was shared in the higher numbers, the clusters *-tt- in both ‘5’ and ‘6’ would be from *-CCto- in ‘5th’ and ‘6th’ in IE. This *(k)swek^sto- > *kutte ‘6’ might show a common set of changes:
*penkWto- *kswek^sto-
*fenxWto- *xswex^sto-
*fenxWto- *xwex^sto-
*finxWto- *xwex^sto-
*finxWto- *xwox^sto-
*finxWto- *xwox^xto-
*finxWto- *xwojxto-
*fixWto- *xwojxto-
*fitto- *xwojtto-
*fitto- *xojtto-
*witto- *xojtto-
*witto- *xujtto-
Though the details are not clear due to clusters like nkWt and k^st only occurring here (more on the other changes below), Cxt > Ctt probably is best.
Other oddities created by *kWw in IE include:
*pekWwó- > Skt. pakvá- ‘cooked/baked/ripe’, *pekWpó- > *mekpo > TB map(p)e ‘ripe’
with the same kWw > kp > p in *leikW- > Latin (re)linquere, *likWwotor > *likpotor > TB lipetär ‘is left over’. Usually, p-p > m-p would seem odd, but with the other changes of m > p in Toch. for no reason, the opposite caused by dissim. fits.
In the same way, PU makes other changes in Toch. understandable. The closest match of:
*pedyāx > TA päts, TB patsa ‘bottom’; *potsjä > *pesä > F. pesä ‘nest’
*ped(y)o- \ *pod(y)o- ‘place, ground, soil’ > G. pedíon ‘plain’, pédon ‘ground’, OCS podŭ ‘ground/foundation’, Ni. pad ‘foundation’, *eni- > MIr ined ‘place’, *enpodyo- > *yäpoy > TB yapoy, TA ype ‘land/country’
shows that PU dy > s (not s’ or c’ ) which seems to be from the difference of T before front V vs. j. It is easiest to explain if te > t’e, tj > t’j > ts’j first, before any other palatals > affricates, ts’j > č (deleting j ), later č > š > s before ṣ > š etc. (Skt. mákṣā- ‘fly’; *mekše > Mv. mekš ‘bee’). This same type could occur before loss of voicing, so dj and tj might differe in some way if only dy > ǰ > s. If the same sequence happened in Toch., then č or ǰ as an intermediate leading to ts would allow the apparent loss of d in *enpodyo- > *yenpoǰo- > *yäpoy to be explained y the same assim. of y-ǰ > y-y that I see in:
Skt. prayuj- ‘yoke/join/harness to / unite with’, also fem. noun ‘team’ >> *prayuyo- > *pyauryo > TB pyorye (fem.) ‘yoke’
which is probably an early loan before devoicing in Toch. It is unlikely a complicated sequence like this could be made more clear by PU data if patsa : pesä were unrelated.
*puk^syo- > Av. pusa-, NP fuš, Skt. púccha-m ‘tail/rod’, Hi. pūñch ‘tail/rear’, B. punzuṛO ‘tail’, *pačhoóḍ > Dk. p(h)ačoó \ čipóoy.
*po(n)čoxa > Mr. pač, X. poč, Mi. ponš-pun ‘tailfeather’, Nen. panco ‘tail’, En. batu’o
The *-x- is retained in Samoyed, others > 0 (opt. or between unstressed V’s?). Sine the suffix in Dardic and Dk. is probably -ula- > -uḍa- (as in Skt. lāNgūla-m & Sh. lʌmúṭi ‘tail’), probably analogy added it. This would require either a loan or a shared descent within IE. The similar words would then show met. in:
*poksyora > *pksyora > *poryaks > *pol’akš > Mi. pōl’ǝx ‘tail of reindeers’, Mh. pula ‘tail’, Mr. pulŭkš *behind/back > ‘shoulder(joint)’
The opt. p > w might merge with w > m in
*mä(n)c’Vx > Mi. man’s’ik ‘tail of reindeers’, Skp. mätjä
The origin of -N- in the Indic words (Hi. pūñch ‘tail/rear’, B. punzuṛO ‘tail’) being shared by PU would require either a loan or a shared descent within IE. The origin of this seems to be y > y~ (nasalized). This is seen in Indo-Iran.:
Bu. kHakHā́yo ‘shelled walnut’, Shina kHakHaái~
*h2loupehk^- > Skt. lopāśá-s > *lovāyá- > Kh. ḷòw, Dk. ló(o)i ‘fox’, Sh. lo(o)i~
*madhy~a- ‘middle’ > Braj māhi~ ‘in’, Hi. māñjh
*puk^syo- > Skt. púccha-m ‘tail/rod’, Hi. pūñch ‘tail/rear’, B. punzuṛO ‘tail’
This seems to become n in causatives like *kōreye- > Dk. (g)uráa- \ (g)uraaná ‘make _ do’, and apparent old causatives like *lōgheye- > Dk. lukh(ā)na ‘hide’. Also, old loans from Dardic (or related) to Bu. show y > n also:
Skt. méṣī- ‘ewe’, *méṣiy- > *méṣiy~ >> *méṣin > Bu. meénis ‘ewe over one year but not a mother’
Skt. videś[í]ya- ‘foreign’, Kv. vičó ‘guest’, Ni. vidišä, Kt. vadašó, *vadišiy~a >> *waišin > Bu. aíšen \ oóšin
This could come from intermediate y > ŋ^ > n^ > n. Other PU words show y > ŋ (and opt. ŋ > m, as previously). It is impossible for such an odd set of changes to be independent in supposedly unrelated languages that seem more like sub-branches to me.
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*rompek’ > *rompec’ > *repomc’ > *repäns’ > F. repo, Es. rebane, Mv. r’ives’, Hn. raasz
These have been seen as loans, but no Iranian word matches completely (various Dardic ones also given for comparison), so either not a loan or some changes in PU obscured its origin. The *-ns’ (if original) would match G. as a C-stem (with -C > -0 in nom. for PU). If related, evidence that u was w after V, vp > mp (maybe like A. luumóo, other ev. that Dardic m \ v alternated). In *h2loupehk^- > G. alṓpēx, *ovp > *o_p > *ōp (like dáphnē \ daukhnā- ‘laurel’, with u disappearing before ph but not kh showing it was *v even in very old dialects). The k^ : c’ found in so many words seems to support their relation.
Skt. caṭaka- ‘sparrow’, Hi. ciṛā, Ben. côṛai, B. čOṛkuṛi ‘bird’, Rom. čiriklo
*či(n)čä > Sm. cicce ‘sparrow / small bird’, *či(n)čikä > Skp. čičik(a)
*c’iNc’V(kV) > Nen. s’inc’ek ‘small bird’
*c’Vlc’V > Mi. c’ül’c’ ‘wading bird (redshank?)’
*čäčkä > Z. čakčej, Mv. šekšej ‘spotted woodpecker’
*čac’kV > Sm. cisku ‘falcon’
*s’äRkc’e > Z čikči, F. sääksi ‘kite’, Es. sääsk
It is hard to think all these words are unrelated. Only a small group of Indo-Iran. languages have the basic word for ‘bird’ contain č-k-R. Dardic languages often show assim. of affricates (c-č > č-č , etc.) if *ki > *c’i in *čaṛkiṛu > čaṛc’iṛu etc. It is again likely r > R > k in some.
*k^h2anku- > Skt. śaŋkú- ‘twig/peg/post/stake/spike/stick/arrow’
*čxeŋkV > Sm. *cэŋkē prop/strut/support’, Ud. čog ‘nail’, Hn. csegely ‘wedge-shaped field/meadow’
This supposes *cseg ‘wedge’ >> csegely. The cs- instead of s- in Hn. might be caused by a cluster instead of plain č (reasonaly it would be čx or c’x ) and the IE words have -a-, meaning h2 should be there. This is unlikely to be chance.
Skt. nā́man-, G. ónuma, Lac. énuma-, Arm. anun, TA ñom, TB ñem; *nime > F. nimi ‘name’
This is a hard one. There’s a vague similarity, but what kind of strange changes could have brought this *nime about? It’s a little too much for me. I’ll have to come back to this later, using all my faculties to their fullest.
*dhuh2tó- ‘shaken / fanned’, *dhuh2ti-s ‘smoke’ > Skt. dhūtá- \ dhutá- ‘shaken / agitated’, B. dukti ‘soul / last breath’; *dhuxti > *dhwati > *lwali > *lewle > F. löyly ‘spirit / steam from the sauna stove’, Hn. lélëk ‘soul’
More t > l. That it is closest to Dardic with Toch. uh2 > ua > wa would be important.
*-es, *V-:s (pl); *-t
This would make the most sense if s > θ in some environments in PU (after V but not before C, for ex.). If s could merge with t, the odd treatment of t in PU, like t > l, could be from the same change. This would mean t > l could come from t > θ > l. This means s > l would be possible between V’s (that is, for -s- and -s, the difference is > l but not after C, not word-final).
*wes- > OE wesan ‘be/remain’, Skt. vásati ‘dwell’, TB woloktär ‘dwells’; *wole- > F. ole- ‘be’
This is what would be required if they were related; the similarity to TB is clear, but this is usually taken as contamination with koloktär (below)
*kWelh- > G. pélomai ‘move’, Skt. cárati ‘move/wander’, TB koloktär ‘follows’; F. kulke- ‘go/walk/travel’
If they were related; the similarity to TB is clear. Toch. had k / 0 (which I say came from *x in
>
*memsuxā- > *pesukā- > TA puskāñ
*memsuxā- > *pesuā- > *peswā- > TB passoñ ‘muscles’
*lewax^- > *lewa(k)- > TA lu, pl. lwāk
*lewax^- > *lewa(s)- > TB luwo, pl. lwāsa ‘animal’
*gWHoluwxo- > *guluxo- > Arm. glux ‘head/summit/end / chief’
*gWHoluwāx > *golwā > R. golová ‘head’, Li. galvà
*mxulto:(n) > *mxëlto > TA mkälto ‘young’, malto ‘in the first place’
Toch. and Arm. having some *x > k / 0 would match *k > *x > 0 in:
Skt. srákva- \ sṛkvaṇ- ‘corner of mouth’, TB *sǝrkwan- > *sǝrxwan- > särwāna (pl. tan.) ‘face’
>
L. dingua, TA käntu, TB kantwo; *kääle > F. kieli
or
Li. liežùvis, Kh. ligìni ‘tongue’ (reanalyzed with *leig^h- ‘lick’ ); *leikwi > *läike > *kääle > F. kieli
If close to Toch., similar to *mntis > L. menti-; *manti > *menle > *meele > F. mieli ‘reason/understanding’). That it is closest to Toch. would be important.
If close to Dardic, the long *ää would correspond to *ei (which would need to be shortened before CC elsewhere). That it is closest to IE with reanalyzed forms would be important.
*h2anti- \ -o- \ -0- > Skt. ánta- ‘end/limit’, Go. andeis, H. hanz() = xant-s ‘front’, TA ānt, TB ānte ‘surface/forehead’; *anli > *ajŋe ‘brain/temple’ F. aivo(t), H. agy
This seems to show nt > ŋl then l > l’ before front, l’ > j after N (before nl > _l ). A similar case, with no fronting in tu vs. ti
*pett(u)ro- > Arm. pHetur ‘feather’, Skt. pátatra- ‘wing/feather’, pátra- / páttra-
*pewturo > *pimtulo > *piŋlule > *piŋul \ *piŋe > Es. püvi, F. pyy ‘hazelhen’, Mv. povo, H. fogoly \ fogor-\fogu-madár
In which dissim. of l-l in *piŋlule > *piŋul prevented loss of ŋ. The opt. change of tt > wt in Arm. is similar (see Skt. aṃ-vitti- ‘not finding’, Arm. an-giwt ‘not found’; *wid-ti- >Arm. giwt -i- ‘finding / invention’, git -i- ‘finding / gift’). The alt. of w \ m \ ŋ seen in others (*pilŋ- \ *pilm- \ *pilv- ‘dark, cloud’; *xaŋ’t’a- > ŋ \ n’ \ m > X. âŋǝt ‘horn/antler’, Mi. ān’t, Nen. n’amtǝ). Other met. might have created:
*pimtula > *limputa > *linta \ *lunta > F. lintu ‘bird’, X. lont \ tunt ‘goose’, Hn. lúd
in which the alt. of 2 V’s in i \ u come from *i-u in the older form, just like i \ u for ‘fly’:
*pimtula > *pimlula > *limpula > *limplä \ *lum(p)lä > *lum(p)ä(l)- \ *lim(p)ä(l)- > H. libëg- \ lebëg- ‘float’, libben- ‘fly up / flutter’, levegöö ‘air’, Ud. lob-, lobal- ‘fly’, Z. leb-, le.bal-
*polh1o- ‘broad’ > OCS polŭ ‘side/shore’; *päxlä > Mv. päl’ ‘side’, Sm. bælle ‘side/half (lengthwise)’, F. -piele
If h1 = x^ this palatal would opt. change V > front. Met. of lx > xl
*pah2g^s(a)lo- > G. pássalos ‘peg’, L. *pakslos > pālus ‘stake’; *paaK^lo > *pääK^lo > *peele > Es. peel ‘pole/post’, F. pieli ‘(door)post/jamb’, Hn. ajtó-fél
If native, h2 = x would prevent xg^ from becoming xd^; after VxC > V:C, this palatal g^ would opt. change V > front. It’s possible the double K(^) here caused both length, then long V before a C > 0 was raised. This explanation would be unavailable if a loan from L. (or indirectly).
*gWrh2ur- > Go. kaurus, G. barús, Skt. gurú- ‘heavy’; *gWraxur > *gWraurǝ > *läwlǝ > F. läyli ‘heavy’
As in Arm., old *-ur in u-stems. If final -V added after all -r, it might only remain in those words that would become monosyl. if lost. It’s also possible -x- was lost in Vxu and Vxi first ( > Vwu and Vji ), hard to tell. Looking at this, it’s possible that TB krāmär did not come from a derivative in *-mr or *-wr but instead directly:
*gWrh2ur- > *gWraxur > *gWrawur > *gwrawur > *grawur > *gramur >TB krāmär ‘weight’, kramartse ‘heavy’
with w-w dissim., then w > m by u.
*wedo- > Arm. get ‘river’, *do-are-wedo- > W. darwedd ‘bubbling/fountain/spring’
*wete > F. vesi, g. veden, Mi. wit(’), Hn. víz, acc. vizet
*wediko- > *wed’iko- > *woð’kV > Z. vol’ ‘small river’
Now, if *wete means ‘water’ and *woð’kV ‘small river’, doesn’t that imply the existence of *-kV as a diminutive? As in F. poika ‘son/boy’? The alt. of e / o here would show either ablaut or optional rounding; whichever you pick, both seen in IE in this word (*wodo:r > *wudo:r in G.). The sound that became either *t or *ð’ implies either d > t / ð’ in different environments or ð > t / ð’ (and voicing as original would be preferred, since *tk > *dk would not be ususal).
Skt. putraká- ‘little son/boy/child’, *pütRak^á > *pöxäc^a > Kt. pe-éts \ pe-éz, Dm. paai, A. phay- / phoó ‘boy’; *polraka > F. poika ‘son/boy’
V-harmony u-a > o-a again. The change of t > l after V as before could give *polraka > *porlaka > *porlka > *pojka > F. poika (with no more ex.), but the palatalization in Dardic could be responsible instead (it could be that the suffix was *-akx^a- not *-aka- , etc., hard to tell).
*webh- > OE webb ‘web/weft/woven work’, *webhto- ‘cloth’ > Av. ubdaēna-; *wepte- ‘catch with a net’ > Mr. wapte-, Ud. votes
If this shows the existence of PU *weptV- ‘net’ to a verb *wepte- ‘catch with a net’, it would be hard not to see IE.
*syuh1- ’sew / stitch’, L. sūtor ‘shoemaker’, OPr schumeno ‘shoemaker’s filament’
*syuh1to- > OHG siut ‘suture/seam’, Skt. syūtá-, Li. siútas; *s(j)ukto > *sukse > F. suksi ‘ski / snowshoe’
If t > θ first, kθ > ks before θ > l. The many matches of h : k don’t seem like chance.
G. kurtía ‘wickerwork shield’, kúrtē ‘fish-basket’, Skt. kuti(:)- ‘hut’
*kuta > *kota > F. kota, Sm. goatte ‘tent / Lapp hut’
*külä > F. kylä ‘village/dwelling’, Mi. kül ‘house’
If rt only opt. > rl, it would fit. There are too many words with the same meaning showing front vs. back harmony to be coincidence. Some are caused by *jV (jalka ‘foot / leg’ vs. *jelkä > jälki ‘footprint’), this would require opt. u > ü > u / i as in Arm., Dardic. The same in *wülä below.
*ud- > Go. ut, Skt. ud-; *wülä \ *wilä \ *wile > ylä- ‘uppehigh(er)’, yle-mpi
With d > l, u- > wu-; if not a derivative, it would require opt. u > ü > u / i as in Arm., Dardic. The same in Skt. kuti(:)- ‘hut’; *kuta > *kota > F. kota, Sm. goatte ‘tent / Lapp hut’, *külä > Mi. kül ‘house’)
*ud-t(e)ro- > Skt. úttara- ‘upper’; *udteRo > *uðtego > *tuðego > *tuð’ka > F. tutka ‘tip/peak’, Mi. tal’ǝk
Met. before any further changes of dt (if the same as tt).
*(s)kermn- > Skt. cárman- ‘skin/hide’; *k’er’man > *c’eð’mä > *c’ämd’e > *c’äpte > Sm. čävddë ‘skin/bark’, Nen. s’āpt
The same change in G. pérdix ‘partridge’; *perdā > *pað’ta > Mi. pal’tā ‘black grouse’, Hn. fajd, then met. (maybe d’m > md’ > bd > pt was regular).
*septǝmó- ‘7th’ > G. hebdomós, OPr sep(t)mas, L. septimus; *s’eŋ’c’emä > F. seitsemä- ‘7’, Z. s’iz’im
The great similarity and possibility of Ce > C’e being so strong makes a relation nearly certain. Now, if this might come from a word with -pt- and it contains -ŋ’c’- there instead (or whatever cluster you prefer), shouldn’t this be taken as evidence that pt could change into mt \ ŋt before palatalization? This is because of he alt. of w \ m \ ŋ seen in others (*pilŋ- \ *pilm- \ *pilv- ‘dark, cloud’; *xaŋ’t’a- > ŋ \ n’ \ m > X. âŋǝt ‘horn/antler’, Mi. ān’t, Nen. n’amtǝ; *petturo- > *pewturo > *pimtulo > *piŋlule > *piŋul \ *piŋe > Es. püvi, F. pyy ‘hazelhen’, Mv. povo, H. fogoly \ fogor-\fogu-madár). That tt and pt could become mt matches Arm. (with tt / pt > wt(H) all possible). This kind of coincidence is not believable.
If the ‘7th’ > ‘7’ change was shared in the higher numbers, the clusters *-tt- in both ‘5’ and ‘6’ would be from *-CCto- in ‘5th’ and ‘6th’ in IE. Some also added *-ti-, which might be closer.
*y(e)mho- > ON Ymir, Skt. yamá- ‘twin’; *jaxma > F. jama \ jaama ‘joint’, Sm. juomek ‘twin lamb’
If this is a loan, it would show metathesis and IE *h > *x in reconstructions, good evidence for its existence for those who have made a case for Vx vs V: or V > V: in the past.
*wag^- > G. ágnūmi ‘break/shatter’, Skt. vájra-s ‘Indra’s thunderbolt’, Av. vazra- ‘Mithra’s club’; *vas’ara > F. vasara ‘hammer’, TB bhaśīr ‘lightning’
These seem like loans into both PU and Toch. The V’s in both probably come from *vadz’ǝra- with various V’s (ǝ > i is expected in Indic, Skt. vs. Pkt). Likely Iran. *vadz’ǝra- > *vaz’ǝra- > PU *vas’ara, Indic *vadz’ǝra- > *vadžǝra- > *vadžira- etc. A loan of this age does not show that *Kr would become KVr in PU in native words (or earlier loans).
*k^oh3no-s ? > G. kônos ‘(pine-)cone / spinning top? / bullroarer?’, Skt. śān(.)a-s ‘whetstone’, MP afsān, Shu. pisēn, Os. insōn(ë), Kh. usàn, Rom. (y)asan; *päxnV > Ud. penon, Hn. fen- ‘sharpen/whet / whetstone’
If a loan, it is closest to Shu. pisēn which would show CVC- > CC- (like Skt. pāṃsulá- ‘dusty’, Ni. pasalä ‘dust’, *psulá > Dk. phúla ‘ashes’; *psora > Hn. por ‘dust/powdeashes’). If native, it would show the unexplained *pk^- or *nk^- \ *mk^- in Indo-Iran. was old (many different affixes attached to a noun make little sense). Note the *h causing opt. n > ṇ (maybe a similar hn > nHnH in Dv.).
*hanhtukāh \ *hanhtikāh > Li. antuka ‘snipe’, Slavic *ontĭka > R. utka ‘duck’; *s’oðka > F. sotka ‘scaup (diving duck)’, Mv. s’ulgo
If utka ‘duck’ : sotka ‘scaup (diving duck)’ is wrong, it would be odd. If right, it would show V > 0 creating *tuk > *θuk > *ðk or similar in the middle syllables. If syllabic h > a, a sequence
*hanhtukāh
*hanatukāh
*hnatukāh
*hnaθukāh
*hnaθkāh
might work. It depends on the nature of the first *h- (whether x or x^ > s^ (or dissim. of x-x earlier)). If *x^ > *s’ here, *Cn- > C- at some point. In H. lahanza(n)-, it’s possible that *h- > *R- > l- (instead of n-n, which did not exist in PIE at least).
Since *toktaŋ’ > X. taxtǝŋ, F. tohtaja \ tohtava ‘Arctic loon / black-throated diver’ seems to be met. of the form that also gave *s’oðka > F. sotka ‘scaup (diving duck)’ (both similar diving birds), it’s likely:
*x^anxtukāx ( = *hanhtukāh )
*x^aŋxtukāx
*x^aŋatukāx
*x^aŋaθukāx
*x^aŋaθukā
*x^aŋaθokā u-a > o-a
*x^ŋaθokā
*x^ŋaθkā *x^ŋoθkā
with V1-V2 > either when middle V > 0 (like *pimtula > *limputa > *linta \ *lunta > F. lintu ‘bird’, X. lont \ tunt ‘goose’). Then, the very odd form would undergo several cases of met. and assim., which were regular would be hard to tell:
*x^ŋoθkā
*s^ŋoθkā
*s^oθkā
*s’oðka
*x^ŋoθkā
*s^ŋoθkā
*θ^ŋoθkā fric-assim.
*θ^ŋokθā met.
*t^ŋoktā reg.?
*tŋ^oktā
*toktāŋ^
*toktaŋ’
This also seems to be behind the various words for types of duck, all very similar and showing met., assim., even if not IE:
*xaŋV(t’)- ‘polar duck’ > Sm. haŋŋā, Nen. ŋāŋū, En. ŋau, Nna. ŋaŋod’a ‘duck’
*ka(n)c’V
*če(n)čV
*wajc’V
The likeness of these words to each other and *xaŋV(t’)- to IE *hanht(i)-, etc., seems like more than chance. Some of the likely changes:
*kaŋ’c’V > *k’aŋc’V > *čanc’V
*k’aŋc’V > *k’amc’V > *k’awc’V > *wak’c’V > *wajc’V
with some of the developments not certain due to the unique clusters.
*mangyo- ‘man’ > Slavic *monžjo- > R. muž; *man’c’V > F. mies, Mi. man’s’i, OHn. mogy-, H. magy-
This has been seen as a loan; whatever source would still show a change within PU.
Iran. *muxšti- ‘fist’ > Avestan mušti-, *müRšti- > Kv. mř'üšt, *muxštika- > Ni. mustik; *mučkV > Ud. mïžïk, Mv. mokšna
This has been seen as a loan; whatever source would still show a change V > 0 in mid. syllable, št(‘) > č.
*peu- / *pau- ‘cut / divide’ >> L. putāre ‘cut/trim/prune’, *ambi- > amputāre ‘cut off’, *pautsk^- > TA putk- ‘cut / divide/distinguish/separate/share’, TB pautk-; *päčkä- > Mv. pečke- ‘cut’, F. pätki- ‘cut into pieces’, *püčkV- > pytki- ‘cut into long slices’, *pučkV- > puhkaise- ‘pierce/puncture’, Mr. püškä- ‘sting/bite (of insects)’
The alt. in PU could show *au / *aü > *äü etc. That *pautsk^- > pautk- : *päčkä- : *püčkV- : *pučkV- might not be true, with all the other similarities between PU and Toch. (*kWelh- > G. pélomai ‘move’, Skt. cárati ‘move/wander’, TB koloktär ‘follows’; F. kulke- ‘go/walk/travel’; *pedyāx > TA päts, TB patsa ‘bottom’; *potsjä > *pesä > F. pesä ‘nest’; etc.) requires some explanation; the alt. within PU would need *au or *aü independent of this, but its match is telling.
*g^hans(o\i)- > OHG gans, E. goose, Skt. haṃsá- ‘goose / swan’, OIr géis ‘swan’; *jomkc’e(n) > F. joutsen ‘swan’, Sm. njuk’čâ, Mr. jükšǝ; Y. jaŋdže ‘goose’
These are much too similar to be unrelated. The nasal in Nkc’ can’t be determined from internal ev., but either IE or Y. would require a > o by m. The changes to k^ in *h2ag^- > L. agō ‘drive/act’; *aja- > F. aja- ‘drive/chase’; *h2ak^ma:h2 > G. akmḗ ‘point/edge’; *äjmä ‘needle’; show that k^ > x^ or γ^ / V_V or V_N were matched by g^h > j (except before i ). Palatalized nT > ŋT’ also in *h2anti- > TB ānte ‘surface/forehead’; *anli > *ajŋe ‘brain/temple’ > F. aivo(t). This differing from *mangyo- : *man’c’V might show different timing of pal. by y vs. i or alt. in the pronunciation of n’ (like for m / ng, etc.).
Likely that this includes:
*γ’ansi- = *g^hansi-
*γ’ans’i-
*γ’aŋs’i-
*γ’aŋks’i-
*γ’amks’i-
*γ’omks’i-
*jomks’i-
*jomkc’i-
with the same changes seen elsewhere (ŋ > m opt., rounding by P, pal. before front); it’s likely n’ > ŋ’ after a V, ŋ’- > n’- word-initial, if reg.).
*yuhs(o)- ‘soup’ > Skt. yu(:)s.á-, Li. júšė, *yuhmo- > G. zū́mē ‘leaven’, zōmós ‘broth’; *jamV > Mv. jam ‘soup’, Nga. jamâ ‘gruel of blood/meat/flouwater’
This would show uh > wa as in *dhuh2ti-s > B. dukti ‘soul / last breath’; *dhuxti > *dhwati > *lwali > *lewle > F. löyly ‘spirit / steam from the sauna stove’, Hn. lélëk ‘soul’; then *jwama > *jama.
*gWiyó- > G. biós, Skt. jiyā́-, Av. jyā- ‘bowstring / sinew’; *jijä > *jäji > *jäje > je ‘broad strap’, Skp. tjyy, Kam. t’ī; Y. juo ‘girdle/belt’
*gWiy(e)tlo- > L. fīlum \ fīlus ‘string/cord’, Li. gīsla ‘vein/sinew’; *jetlax > *jätnex > *jäntek > F. jänne ‘bowstring / sinew’, *jätnex > *jänne > jänni ‘frenulum of tongue’
*gWiyó- : *jäje is not in need of great thought. Obviously these words look very much like IE ones (a 2-syllable word with j-y vs. y-y in such a specialized meaning would be unlikely, and this is unlikely match # 45), and the existence of extensions with t in both (or s > t or t > s, if needed) would be hard to explain. This shows merger of g^h and gW before front (if not an assim. of C-j > j-j after palatalization). Some of this could depend on opt. gW > gw (as previous). Again, for CVC- > CC-, this would give *jij- > *j- in *jetlax (or similar depending on timing); both *-etlo- and *-tlo- are seen in tool-words, maybe ablaut in IE. Other words show n / l within PU, so if tl > tn was not regular, the same here. The fem. *-āh > *-ax seems needed to explain ev. of other words in Samoyed with -’ (glottal stop) where the rest have -0.
*sh2ai- > H. ishiya- ‘bind’, ishuzzi- ‘belt/sash’, *sh2aito- > L. saeta ‘coarse haibristle’, Arm. haytHem ‘attach’; *sitV > F. sito- ‘bind/fasten’, side, gen. siteen ‘bandage’
Either original ai > i(i) or ablaut.
More opt. ŋ > m in
*y(e)mho- > ON Ymir, Skt. yamá- ‘twin’; *jaxma > F. jama \ jaama ‘joint’, Sm. juomek ‘twin lamb’
*jäsŋe > Mv. jäz’n’ä, Mr. ježǝŋ, F. jäsen ‘joint/limb’
which might show ŋ’ > n’ in some (if *ymho- = *ymx^o- > *yax^ma- with met. of palatalization after x^ > s^).
The existence of alt. within PU is clear; these words require an explanation no matter what their source:
*yah2giyo- > *yagi- \ *yago- > OIr aig ‘ice’, ON jaki ‘piece of ice’, Wx. yaz ‘glacier’, Kh. yòz ‘ice’; *jäxŋje > *jäŋxe > F. jää ‘ice’, Sm. jiekŋa
*jaŋka ‘ice hole’ in Samoyed (showing *ja- ( > *jä- ) was opt. in all )
*jäxkšV > Mr. jükše- ‘become cold’, F. jä(ä)hty- ‘cool (down)’
*jänte- > Mi. jant-, Z. jed- ‘freeze’
If g or γ > ŋ in *jäŋe, the lack of a nasal in *jäxkšV is explained as the oldest form. This shows opt. *ja > *jä (*jäŋe ‘ice’, *jaŋka ‘ice hole’), matching other *a-i, *a-j. PIE *ya(h2)giyo- giving the *eh > *ah ( > *a ) and opt. dissim. of y-y > y-0 (to explain o- vs. i-stems) would allow similar variants in PU with *x and *j > C to be related. As in opt. j > s’ previously, this would show kj > ks’ > kš (like xj > xs’ > š for *pekW-ye\o- > *pek’-yo- > *pix’yo- > *pišä- ‘bake/roast’). The 2 C’s in *jaŋka vs. *jänte- also come from changes to j; since this shows γ > ŋ in *jäŋe, j > γ’ would also be able to become ŋ’, and other words show this. If some of this created ŋŋ’, a change > ŋŋ > ŋk is possible (other paths exist). With g^ > d^ > t^ > t in others, *jänte- could come from ŋγ ‘> ŋg’ (and a shift of palatalization to ŋ’g might be the source of ŋk also, hard to tell). This would also show that *ä-o > *ä-e occurred, and if for all front V, it would explain the many *-e and *-a in PU as partly from *-o-.
These same changes in F. jalka ‘foot / leg’, jälki ‘footprint, etc., seem to show more ev. of ja \ jä (and fronting caused by j or front V’s in general). With the l > n in *gWiy(e)tlāh > *jijetlax > *jetlax > *jätnex, it makes sense that these words were related (some say loans):
*g^heh1- > *gēn- > E. go, G. kikhā́nō ‘reach/find / overtake’, Alb. ngah ‘run/hasten’, Skt. jáhāti ‘*leave > abandon / renounce’
Skt. jáŋghā- ‘ankle/shank’, Os. zëng(ë) ‘shin/stalk’ >> L. zanga \ zancha ‘Parthian shoe’, It. zanca ‘leg’
*jalka > F. jalka ‘foot / leg’
*jelkä > F. jälki ‘footprint / track/trace/trail’
*jVCka > *jokkV-tta > *jo:h-ta > F. juohtua ‘come up / arise’, Mv. jaka- ‘walk’
*jänxe- > *jäŋV > F. jää- ‘remain’, Hn. jön \ jő \ jöv- \ jö- \ győn \ gyün(n) ‘come’, Mi. ji- \ jäj- \ jüw- \ jin’kve ‘(be)come’
*jekkV- ‘dance’ > Mi. jēk-
The many changes are, again, needed even if not a loan, not related, but only within PU. Since a root is often called by the word for ‘foot’ in other languages (even zëng(ë) ‘shin/stalk’ is part of this range of meaning), the similar changes in these words are likely ev. of other alternation:
*jekkVrV ‘root’ > Ms. jükäär, Hn. gyökér
*jälŋV ‘stump’ > Sm. jâlŋes
*(s)kermn- > Skt. cárman- ‘skin/hide’; *k’er’man > *c’eð’mä > *c’ämd’e > *c’äpte > Sm. čävddë ‘skin/bark’, Nen. s’āpt
*k’er’man > *kelmä > F. kelmä ‘membrane/surface’, kelme(e-) ‘white surface layer of birchbark’, Z. ken’
*kal’we > F. kalvo ‘membrane’, Mi. khal’p ‘*skin (flakes) > dandruff’, xal’ǝp ‘white surface layer of birchbark’
It is not reasonable that so many words for ‘skin/bark’ with the same shape be considered unrelated. I’ll add that in many languages, simply translating these as ‘skin’ not ‘membrane/surface (layer)’ is done, but since the distinction exists in English I avoided this to keep from appearing to only give data favoring my interpretation. These show m > w (as previous), and probably k’-r’ > k-r’ before k’ > c’ (compare opt. n’-l’ in *n’el’ja \ *nel’ja ‘4’ )
There are many examples of metathesis of K-P and P-K in Balto-Slavic. This has led to a loan being used to explain some of:
*pekW- ‘cook’ > Skt. pácyate, L. coquere, R. pekú, Li. kepù
*pexje- \ *pexije- > Mv. pije-, Hn. fő- ‘cook/boil’, En. feri’a-
*pišä- > Sm. bâsse- ‘roast on a spit’, Ud. pïž ‘bake/roast’, Mi. pīt- ‘cook/brew’
*kewje- \ *keje-? > F. keittä- ‘boil/cook’, Hn. köved- ‘boiled down’
*kips’ä > F. kypsä ‘ripe/cooked/baked’
I do not think 4 different IE languages happened to give 4 different loans at 4 different times into Uralic. There is no IE with e-y > i-y, p > w / 0, etc., needed for all (or maybe any) of these. The met. in R. pekú, Li. kepù is tempting, but this would still need pj > wj ( > j ), pj > ps’, e-j > i-j or some set of changes to explain all this. Since some of these are ‘ripe’ vs. ‘cook’ by itself, the odd cluster in *pekWwó- > Skt. pakvá- ‘cooked/baked/ripe’ might be responsible for met. to fix kWw, creating 2 sets. The alt. of e \ i in both groups is unlikely to be from separate causes; no IE with e > i here could be responsible, and there aren’t two IE with e > i AND k-p < p-k in one, not in the other. The same alt. in both groups then shows both groups were native, with a change not seen elsewher, more V-harmony. What I think happened:
*pekW-ye\o- > *pekwye- > *pekweye- > *pekwiye- > *pexije- ‘cook/boil’
*pekW-ye\o- > *pek’-yo- > *pix’yo- > *pišä- ‘bake/roast’
*pekW-wó- > *kWep-wó- > *kWep-yó- > *k(w)ipja > *kips’ä ‘ripe/cooked/baked’
*kWep-yó- > *kWew-yó- > *kewje- ‘boil/cook’
This requires alt. of kW \ kw and p \ f \ w (elsewhere), with j > dz’ > s’ opt. This p / w is required here in PU even for the alt. in F. keittä- ‘boil/cook’, kypsä ‘ripe/cooked/baked’. No matter what the source is, it exists, and has never been applied to other words. Knowing that p > w (or p > 0, depending on the timing and which reconstruction of PU is right) is possible, but never looking for matches of p : w when checking for cognates is not a useful method. The other examples of alt. also are needed within PU, even if ALL of these are loans, due to not being found in known IE languages. This means that we can get *witte ‘5’ from *penkWto- (as *septǝmó- ‘7th’ > L. septimus; *s’eŋ’c’emä > F. seitsemä- ‘7’). If the ‘7th’ > ‘7’ change was shared in the higher numbers, the clusters *-tt- in both ‘5’ and ‘6’ would be from *-CCto- in ‘5th’ and ‘6th’ in IE. This *(k)swek^sto- > *kutte ‘6’ might show a common set of changes:
*penkWto- *kswek^sto-
*fenxWto- *xswex^sto-
*fenxWto- *xwex^sto-
*finxWto- *xwex^sto-
*finxWto- *xwox^sto-
*finxWto- *xwox^xto-
*finxWto- *xwojxto-
*fixWto- *xwojxto-
*fitto- *xwojtto-
*fitto- *xojtto-
*witto- *xojtto-
*witto- *xujtto-
Though the details are not clear due to clusters like nkWt and k^st only occurring here (more on the other changes below), Cxt > Ctt probably is best.
Other oddities created by *kWw in IE include:
*pekWwó- > Skt. pakvá- ‘cooked/baked/ripe’, *pekWpó- > *mekpo > TB map(p)e ‘ripe’
with the same kWw > kp > p in *leikW- > Latin (re)linquere, *likWwotor > *likpotor > TB lipetär ‘is left over’. Usually, p-p > m-p would seem odd, but with the other changes of m > p in Toch. for no reason, the opposite caused by dissim. fits.
In the same way, PU makes other changes in Toch. understandable. The closest match of:
*pedyāx > TA päts, TB patsa ‘bottom’; *potsjä > *pesä > F. pesä ‘nest’
*ped(y)o- \ *pod(y)o- ‘place, ground, soil’ > G. pedíon ‘plain’, pédon ‘ground’, OCS podŭ ‘ground/foundation’, Ni. pad ‘foundation’, *eni- > MIr ined ‘place’, *enpodyo- > *yäpoy > TB yapoy, TA ype ‘land/country’
shows that PU dy > s (not s’ or c’ ) which seems to be from the difference of T before front V vs. j. It is easiest to explain if te > t’e, tj > t’j > ts’j first, before any other palatals > affricates, ts’j > č (deleting j ), later č > š > s before ṣ > š etc. (Skt. mákṣā- ‘fly’; *mekše > Mv. mekš ‘bee’). This same type could occur before loss of voicing, so dj and tj might differe in some way if only dy > ǰ > s. If the same sequence happened in Toch., then č or ǰ as an intermediate leading to ts would allow the apparent loss of d in *enpodyo- > *yenpoǰo- > *yäpoy to be explained y the same assim. of y-ǰ > y-y that I see in:
Skt. prayuj- ‘yoke/join/harness to / unite with’, also fem. noun ‘team’ >> *prayuyo- > *pyauryo > TB pyorye (fem.) ‘yoke’
which is probably an early loan before devoicing in Toch. It is unlikely a complicated sequence like this could be made more clear by PU data if patsa : pesä were unrelated.
*puk^syo- > Av. pusa-, NP fuš, Skt. púccha-m ‘tail/rod’, Hi. pūñch ‘tail/rear’, B. punzuṛO ‘tail’, *pačhoóḍ > Dk. p(h)ačoó \ čipóoy.
*po(n)čoxa > Mr. pač, X. poč, Mi. ponš-pun ‘tailfeather’, Nen. panco ‘tail’, En. batu’o
The *-x- is retained in Samoyed, others > 0 (opt. or between unstressed V’s?). Sine the suffix in Dardic and Dk. is probably -ula- > -uḍa- (as in Skt. lāNgūla-m & Sh. lʌmúṭi ‘tail’), probably analogy added it. This would require either a loan or a shared descent within IE. The similar words would then show met. in:
*poksyora > *pksyora > *poryaks > *pol’akš > Mi. pōl’ǝx ‘tail of reindeers’, Mh. pula ‘tail’, Mr. pulŭkš *behind/back > ‘shoulder(joint)’
The opt. p > w might merge with w > m in
*mä(n)c’Vx > Mi. man’s’ik ‘tail of reindeers’, Skp. mätjä
The origin of -N- in the Indic words (Hi. pūñch ‘tail/rear’, B. punzuṛO ‘tail’) being shared by PU would require either a loan or a shared descent within IE. The origin of this seems to be y > y~ (nasalized). This is seen in Indo-Iran.:
Bu. kHakHā́yo ‘shelled walnut’, Shina kHakHaái~
*h2loupehk^- > Skt. lopāśá-s > *lovāyá- > Kh. ḷòw, Dk. ló(o)i ‘fox’, Sh. lo(o)i~
*madhy~a- ‘middle’ > Braj māhi~ ‘in’, Hi. māñjh
*puk^syo- > Skt. púccha-m ‘tail/rod’, Hi. pūñch ‘tail/rear’, B. punzuṛO ‘tail’
This seems to become n in causatives like *kōreye- > Dk. (g)uráa- \ (g)uraaná ‘make _ do’, and apparent old causatives like *lōgheye- > Dk. lukh(ā)na ‘hide’. Also, old loans from Dardic (or related) to Bu. show y > n also:
Skt. méṣī- ‘ewe’, *méṣiy- > *méṣiy~ >> *méṣin > Bu. meénis ‘ewe over one year but not a mother’
Skt. videś[í]ya- ‘foreign’, Kv. vičó ‘guest’, Ni. vidišä, Kt. vadašó, *vadišiy~a >> *waišin > Bu. aíšen \ oóšin
This could come from intermediate y > ŋ^ > n^ > n. Other PU words show y > ŋ (and opt. ŋ > m, as previously). It is impossible for such an odd set of changes to be independent in supposedly unrelated languages that seem more like sub-branches to me.
2023.03.26 12:15 RoleplayAddickt [Reddit, Kik AidanARudd] Anyone want to catfish me as one or multiple of these girls as siblings and/or parents? I'll show off if you feed. Start right away. Must have pictures. You must be submissive.
submitted by RoleplayAddickt to CatfishMePlease2 [link] [comments]
2023.03.26 12:06 polyaddictia Should I handle a toxic, unwelcoming work environment/coworker diplomatically with my SM as a mediator, or just quit (WARNING: LONG READ)
I’ve been working with Sherwin-Williams since September 2022. I got hired at the same time as a worker who will be henceforth be named as “Problematic Co-Worker” or “PC”.
I want to preface this by saying that I am not a confrontational person at all. I try and get along with every person I work with at every job. I am not the most extroverted person, but I think if you asked my previous co-workers at my old jobs they would say I am a chill enough guy who tries to stay out of drama. I was training at two other stores until I was transferred into a new store that opened in November 2022. It was at this store that I met my main group of co-workers I would be working with for the foreseeable future. I am on good terms with both of my managers, and one other co-worker, since I worked with him at another store beforehand.
This is also where I would began working with Problematic Co-worker. I do not think PC is a bad person, but frankly, she can be very rude and passive aggressive. It’s like she has had a chip on her shoulder against me for some reason since the beginning. The only reason I can think of is one time I saw a phone on a shelf unattended in the warehouse while I was stocking items. I looked at it to see if I recognized who’s it was, and I didn’t, so I left it alone, thinking whoever left it there left it in that spot for a reason. However, the next day it was told to me by PC that it was her phone and it was “fine” and that “it just got cracked”in a rather upset tone. I understand being upset over this, but I simply did not think it was my place to mess with anyone else’s phone, especially when they may have put it there on purpose.
Over the next few months working at this store and with PC, despite my efforts to be non-confrontational, and polite, I have still invoked her ire. I will admit, I have made some dumb mistakes in regards to matches, not understanding some POS functions, and handling some customer service situations. And believe me, I truly feel guilty for being dumb. However, PC will handle these situations by looking down on me like I’m a complete idiot. It’s demoralizing, to say the least. However, despite the harsh lessons, I believe I’ve learned a lot working at SW and I’ve finally gotten to the point where I’m really enjoying my job and getting satisfaction out of helping customers.
All that said, PC continues to be rude to me over almost anything and everything. I do not talk back to her or get into any verbal altercations. I thought we were making some progress by working Saturday’s together alone (she’s the third key) and having some moments of relatability and amicability. However, a few weeks ago, I hit my head hard enough to draw blood across my brow. I felt very woozy and sleepy for a couple of days due to the concussion. When I had a bit of a communication misunderstanding with a customer on whether they wanted a match or “more of this paint” (they brought a half used five gallon in) and said customer had to clarify what he actually wanted, PC pulled me aside and told me “you need to wake the fuck up”.
As it turns out, a doctor’s visit did confirm I was experiencing post concussive syndrome, one symptom being excessive sleepiness. After I came home from that shift I passed out for a solid 14 hours.
I had become used to dealing with this behavior from PC as part of her temperament. Until a couple days ago, the toxicity reached its peak. I was dollying a three stack of fives on truck day. While unteething the stack, the top two tipped over. I panicked, thinking I caused a spill or leak. Thankfully, the fives were not compromised. No paint was spilt. It happens.
I guess PC saw or heard this. I quickly find myself in a catch-22, damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. She begins to grill me over this. If I say yes, I did tip a couple of fives over, my head gets chewed off before I can even explain myself. If I lie and say no, she will see right through my BS and get even more ammo to use against me. I feel like an immoral asshole, but since I felt like I fucked either way, I maintained my innocence.
We tried to avoid each other after this SNAFU. I took an order over the phone for a contractor. 16 gallons in total IIRC. I put in the order, tint it and shake it all by myself, set it aside, and get back to work. Contractor arrives. Now here’s the pettiness that really just made me wanna quit on the spot. PC insists on not only billing him out, but rolling out his order to his truck, in the typical passive aggressive manner. It’s at this point, 10 minutes left in my shift, that I decide to just quit. I clock out, explain to my very kind and understanding SM that I’m quitting because I can’t work in a toxic unwelcoming environment anymore. I believe my SM says she understands (she probably got both sides of the story), and lets me leave for the day.
I know I am not wholly innocent here, I definitely fucked up a few times. But I simply can’t handle working with someone that hates my guts and makes me feel unwelcome working at this store, despite my efforts to be a better worker. When I checked my schedule and saw that I was supposed to work this Saturday with just me and PC, open to close, I decided I’d rather de-escalate by calling my manage and explaining that I wasn’t showing up and I would be emailing her a formal notice of resignation.
After a day of clearing my head off and some deliberation, I’ve considered taking to my manager again, and organizing a sit down with Problematic Coworker so we can reconcile our disagreements, agree to a truce, and hopefully work together to create a more positive workplace environment, settled with diplomacy and mutual respect. Any advice on how to handle this, or should I just up and quit for better employment opportunities?
submitted by polyaddictia to sherwinwilliams [link] [comments]
I want to preface this by saying that I am not a confrontational person at all. I try and get along with every person I work with at every job. I am not the most extroverted person, but I think if you asked my previous co-workers at my old jobs they would say I am a chill enough guy who tries to stay out of drama. I was training at two other stores until I was transferred into a new store that opened in November 2022. It was at this store that I met my main group of co-workers I would be working with for the foreseeable future. I am on good terms with both of my managers, and one other co-worker, since I worked with him at another store beforehand.
This is also where I would began working with Problematic Co-worker. I do not think PC is a bad person, but frankly, she can be very rude and passive aggressive. It’s like she has had a chip on her shoulder against me for some reason since the beginning. The only reason I can think of is one time I saw a phone on a shelf unattended in the warehouse while I was stocking items. I looked at it to see if I recognized who’s it was, and I didn’t, so I left it alone, thinking whoever left it there left it in that spot for a reason. However, the next day it was told to me by PC that it was her phone and it was “fine” and that “it just got cracked”in a rather upset tone. I understand being upset over this, but I simply did not think it was my place to mess with anyone else’s phone, especially when they may have put it there on purpose.
Over the next few months working at this store and with PC, despite my efforts to be non-confrontational, and polite, I have still invoked her ire. I will admit, I have made some dumb mistakes in regards to matches, not understanding some POS functions, and handling some customer service situations. And believe me, I truly feel guilty for being dumb. However, PC will handle these situations by looking down on me like I’m a complete idiot. It’s demoralizing, to say the least. However, despite the harsh lessons, I believe I’ve learned a lot working at SW and I’ve finally gotten to the point where I’m really enjoying my job and getting satisfaction out of helping customers.
All that said, PC continues to be rude to me over almost anything and everything. I do not talk back to her or get into any verbal altercations. I thought we were making some progress by working Saturday’s together alone (she’s the third key) and having some moments of relatability and amicability. However, a few weeks ago, I hit my head hard enough to draw blood across my brow. I felt very woozy and sleepy for a couple of days due to the concussion. When I had a bit of a communication misunderstanding with a customer on whether they wanted a match or “more of this paint” (they brought a half used five gallon in) and said customer had to clarify what he actually wanted, PC pulled me aside and told me “you need to wake the fuck up”.
As it turns out, a doctor’s visit did confirm I was experiencing post concussive syndrome, one symptom being excessive sleepiness. After I came home from that shift I passed out for a solid 14 hours.
I had become used to dealing with this behavior from PC as part of her temperament. Until a couple days ago, the toxicity reached its peak. I was dollying a three stack of fives on truck day. While unteething the stack, the top two tipped over. I panicked, thinking I caused a spill or leak. Thankfully, the fives were not compromised. No paint was spilt. It happens.
I guess PC saw or heard this. I quickly find myself in a catch-22, damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation. She begins to grill me over this. If I say yes, I did tip a couple of fives over, my head gets chewed off before I can even explain myself. If I lie and say no, she will see right through my BS and get even more ammo to use against me. I feel like an immoral asshole, but since I felt like I fucked either way, I maintained my innocence.
We tried to avoid each other after this SNAFU. I took an order over the phone for a contractor. 16 gallons in total IIRC. I put in the order, tint it and shake it all by myself, set it aside, and get back to work. Contractor arrives. Now here’s the pettiness that really just made me wanna quit on the spot. PC insists on not only billing him out, but rolling out his order to his truck, in the typical passive aggressive manner. It’s at this point, 10 minutes left in my shift, that I decide to just quit. I clock out, explain to my very kind and understanding SM that I’m quitting because I can’t work in a toxic unwelcoming environment anymore. I believe my SM says she understands (she probably got both sides of the story), and lets me leave for the day.
I know I am not wholly innocent here, I definitely fucked up a few times. But I simply can’t handle working with someone that hates my guts and makes me feel unwelcome working at this store, despite my efforts to be a better worker. When I checked my schedule and saw that I was supposed to work this Saturday with just me and PC, open to close, I decided I’d rather de-escalate by calling my manage and explaining that I wasn’t showing up and I would be emailing her a formal notice of resignation.
After a day of clearing my head off and some deliberation, I’ve considered taking to my manager again, and organizing a sit down with Problematic Coworker so we can reconcile our disagreements, agree to a truce, and hopefully work together to create a more positive workplace environment, settled with diplomacy and mutual respect. Any advice on how to handle this, or should I just up and quit for better employment opportunities?
2023.03.26 12:06 Darththorn Post-Round Discussion Thread: Round 2, 2023.
Greetings everyone, it is me, your local Hawthorn mod that posts the post-round thread every week.
Anyway, let's get into it then.
It's Juiceson for missing a post-round thread for the first time in seven years! I expect your resignation on my desk by the morning.
It's actually the Gabba of course! The only major stadium in Australia without backup power as the stadium loses power for the fourth or fifth time in the last five years! Congrats to the showpiece of the 2032 Olympics!
submitted by Darththorn to AFL [link] [comments]
Anyway, let's get into it then.
- Geelong is starting to get the Blues as the entire team ponders retirement.
- Melbourne comes alive after 4 quarter time but falls short as the siren calls an end to the sixth quarter.
- Port growing into their prison bars by producing a performance worthy of jail.
- Richmond delivers a Broadside to Adelaide as Broad prepares to get a one-week suspension for causing injury instead of a three-week suspension for having the potential to cause injury.
- St Kilda turn up, fall asleep and then wake up again while Jack Steele breaks his shoulder from carrying the team.
- The North and Fremantle game is still under review so we'll come back to this one later in the year.
- Hawthorn fans begin to circlejerk around someone with the last name of Reid.
- Gold Coast decide that winning isn't cute enough and would rather lose. So kawaii!
- A Kennedy survives a trip in an open-top car but after hearing the Eagles song, he'd rather he didn't.
It's Juiceson for missing a post-round thread for the first time in seven years! I expect your resignation on my desk by the morning.
It's actually the Gabba of course! The only major stadium in Australia without backup power as the stadium loses power for the fourth or fifth time in the last five years! Congrats to the showpiece of the 2032 Olympics!
2023.03.26 12:02 moxiesa Sick and tired of this
Since I was a child, everything has hurt. Everything. My legs ache. My shoulders, my back, my hips, my neck. My toes. My fingers. My elbow, wrist, knees, just everything. It keeps me awake at night. It’s not always everything all at once. Some days are specific to one area or another. Right now it’s my right hip all the way to my toes, it feels like my leg is falling off.
Pulsating, throbbing, aching pain. It feels like my leg is on fire, but to the touch feels no different than any other part of my body. No swelling or discoloration. Nothing. I’ve been awake all night because it hurts so bad.
I’ve been to so many doctors I have lost count. No tests can find a single thing wrong with me, outside of a slightly elevated but not outside the normal platelet count. No medicine works. I’ve been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, but nothing I have been prescribed works for that either. I’m incredibly average. Normal amount of physical activity, nothing crazy like several hours of gym time but I walk about a mile around my community every day with my dog. I’m 32 and this has been going on since as long as I can remember. The earliest memory specifically I can pinpoint is when I was 12.
Ugh. I am just so tired of this and feel like I’m in living hell.
submitted by moxiesa to ChronicPain [link] [comments]
Pulsating, throbbing, aching pain. It feels like my leg is on fire, but to the touch feels no different than any other part of my body. No swelling or discoloration. Nothing. I’ve been awake all night because it hurts so bad.
I’ve been to so many doctors I have lost count. No tests can find a single thing wrong with me, outside of a slightly elevated but not outside the normal platelet count. No medicine works. I’ve been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, but nothing I have been prescribed works for that either. I’m incredibly average. Normal amount of physical activity, nothing crazy like several hours of gym time but I walk about a mile around my community every day with my dog. I’m 32 and this has been going on since as long as I can remember. The earliest memory specifically I can pinpoint is when I was 12.
Ugh. I am just so tired of this and feel like I’m in living hell.
2023.03.26 11:58 RartedMonkey My girlfriend (22F) still loves me (18M) but says she can't be with me and wants to break up
Me(18M) an my girlfriend(22F) have been together for 2 months and those 2 months were the best time of my life. We met on a police academy and we are both cadets and since we are in a closed enviroment it is really hard to keep secrets. Long story short everything was fine up until 4 days ago when a girl from her class started spreading rumours that i was going around telling people about our intimate actions. I was just finishing lunch and i saw her crying, I went over to her worried to ask what's wrong as I thought something happened to a family memeber of hers or something like that. All she told me is to get lost and that she doesn't want to hear or see me and started ignoring me. I immediately went over to the girl that told her I was telling other people about our relations which i didn't and she told me what was going on. That same day I tried talking to my girlfriend once again in the evening. I came to her room to find her alone with earbuds in her ears, covered head to toe with a blanket and crying in her bed. I tried talking ad then realised that she can't hear me because of the earbuds so I touched her shoulder, her immediate response was "Get your hands off me and get out.", so I said that nothing she heard was true, but she didn't want to hear it. I also forgot to mention that she blocked me on all ways to contact her. The next day I noticed she looks at me only when she thinks i can't notice and looks the other way every time she walks next to me. I tried going to her room to try and talk once again but there was noone inside, so I called her from a friend's phone and when I told her it's me she immediately hung up. The day after (friday) was the day we were all going home for the weekend, and 2 friends of mine that were girls and occasionaly talked with my girlfriend tried takling with her. To the first one she said "Even though I still love him, I can't talk to him, look him in the eyes, or even say hi I just don't feel comftorable around him.", and to the other she said later that evening "I knew people would start spreading rumours before or later and that isn't the thing that hurt me, the thing that hurt me is that our commander (who has also helped me a lot with the situation) and everyone else know something only me and him should know. And I don't see us being together after this anymore, and tell him I have an advice for him, let everything go and it will be easier for both him and me." Now it's Sunday and I'm going back to the academy today, and I don't know what to do, I really want to stay with this girl because we both love each other very much even though we haven't been together for a long time. I've concidered just giving her space but I don't know for how long and the situation is breaking me. If you think you can help me you can try and tell me in the comments, all the help is appreciated.
submitted by RartedMonkey to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2023.03.26 11:38 sugar-soad Starving yourself
I awoke in a panic and stared around me in confusion as I discovered I was in a hospital bed. I was too stunned to move as one of the nurses came over to check on me.
She held my hand and I could see the pity on her face as she explained that I had passed out at school. I tried not to look embarrassed as I could see her eyes looking at my stick thin figure.
She began asking me questions about how much I eat on an average day. I decided to be honest and admit that some days I don't eat anything and if I do I end up puking it up.
She squeezed my hand as the tears flowed down my cheeks. She told me that everything was going to be okay before walking away to check on another patient.
I reached into my nearby bag to find my phone and winced as I saw my own reflection in the mirror. My face was so shrunken that I looked like a skeleton. I resolved there and then to take better care of myself.
I looked up to see my mother standing above me with a look of disgust etched on her face. My eyes widened as she told me that my hospital gown made me look like I had a double chin. I quickly grabbed my phone and stared in revolt at my chubby cheeks.
submitted by sugar-soad to The_sugar_load [link] [comments]
She held my hand and I could see the pity on her face as she explained that I had passed out at school. I tried not to look embarrassed as I could see her eyes looking at my stick thin figure.
She began asking me questions about how much I eat on an average day. I decided to be honest and admit that some days I don't eat anything and if I do I end up puking it up.
She squeezed my hand as the tears flowed down my cheeks. She told me that everything was going to be okay before walking away to check on another patient.
I reached into my nearby bag to find my phone and winced as I saw my own reflection in the mirror. My face was so shrunken that I looked like a skeleton. I resolved there and then to take better care of myself.
I looked up to see my mother standing above me with a look of disgust etched on her face. My eyes widened as she told me that my hospital gown made me look like I had a double chin. I quickly grabbed my phone and stared in revolt at my chubby cheeks.
2023.03.26 11:24 mdakramaq Have we messed up?
Have we messed up as men? Or is it just about the women? Do we keep pointing fingers at them? They aren't gonna take responsibility for their actions, and we know that. They are as passive as one can be. They don't see themselves as an active part of the society. It was our job to be their caretakers, to be their leaders.
I know it comes from up the top overlords. It has been a big psyop over generations and generations for their own benefit. For the control of the masses! The moment you see a woman being promiscuous, that clearly signifies an absent fathefather figure. An absence of a MAN!
Everything comes down on our shoulders. I know they have been bad, but if you turn away, who will be there for them? Will aliens come down to take care of them? Obviously not!
If there is no father, there is no family. If there is no family, there is no accountability. If there's no accountability, there is no being a HUMAN anymore. There is no being a MUSLIM anymore!
The biggest positive card that we as MEN have in our deck is they don't have full control, yet! They will do anything to destroy masculinity, to destroy the family unit. They aren't gonna let you be the father. The moment you decide to be the father, you will be shamed and even called on the police.
So your job is to be the FATHER from early on. Be the MAN for your family the moment she/he comes out of the womb. They need you! There's nothing left without MEN. If MEN die, everything dies.
The women won't take charge or be accountable. They will never self reflect. Because they are not designed for that. They are designed to be our companion. To be there by our side. To be commanded. To be taken care of. So stop expecting them to change their ways, until YOU do and take charge!
Believe me, brothers, she will run a million miles, to be with you, if you tell her to, and if you be the MAN. She will do anything to be with you. Take charge of her emotions and bind her psych with you.
Now coming to men's behaviour today. Everytime you do bad things(watching corn, sleeping with random women, cheating) you are being part of the problem, brothers. How can you do that? Don't you feel any less of a man if you sleep with her behind her wali's back? Don't you feel unmanly? Don't you ever feel the need to take care of her before touching her? How can you even "brag" about it and boost your ego, after you slept with a random chick last week, if you didn't even knew her name and address?
Why do you act desperate for her attention? Why do you slide in her DMs begging her to reply? Why don't you directly slide into her father's DMs? If you want be with her, do it with commitment.
I am not saying to completely ignore what they are doing. We can't just ignore it. The fact we are in this situation today is because they are like that.
Learn the female nature, learn how they work. They are like this today, because we gave them leeway. I know, it will get harder to control her, since govt. would be involved too, because somehow you would be "abusing" her. What we can do is to gradually make ourselves stronger as a collective and be the MAN that we were placed on this Earth for. Take charge! If you be the MAN, then your family and society will be alright.
Seek examples from the men in history, prophets and the Quran. See what Allah says about women.
"It is He who created you from one soul, and created from its mate that he might dwell in security with her..." Quran 7:189
“O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good. But if you want to replace one wife with another and you have given one of them a great amount [in gifts], do not take [back] from it anything. Would you take it in injustice and manifest sin?” Quran 4:19-20
I wanted to say many more things, but if anyone else want to add up, please do that. Ramdhan mubarak!
submitted by mdakramaq to TraditionalMuslims [link] [comments]
I know it comes from up the top overlords. It has been a big psyop over generations and generations for their own benefit. For the control of the masses! The moment you see a woman being promiscuous, that clearly signifies an absent fathefather figure. An absence of a MAN!
Everything comes down on our shoulders. I know they have been bad, but if you turn away, who will be there for them? Will aliens come down to take care of them? Obviously not!
If there is no father, there is no family. If there is no family, there is no accountability. If there's no accountability, there is no being a HUMAN anymore. There is no being a MUSLIM anymore!
The biggest positive card that we as MEN have in our deck is they don't have full control, yet! They will do anything to destroy masculinity, to destroy the family unit. They aren't gonna let you be the father. The moment you decide to be the father, you will be shamed and even called on the police.
So your job is to be the FATHER from early on. Be the MAN for your family the moment she/he comes out of the womb. They need you! There's nothing left without MEN. If MEN die, everything dies.
The women won't take charge or be accountable. They will never self reflect. Because they are not designed for that. They are designed to be our companion. To be there by our side. To be commanded. To be taken care of. So stop expecting them to change their ways, until YOU do and take charge!
Believe me, brothers, she will run a million miles, to be with you, if you tell her to, and if you be the MAN. She will do anything to be with you. Take charge of her emotions and bind her psych with you.
Now coming to men's behaviour today. Everytime you do bad things(watching corn, sleeping with random women, cheating) you are being part of the problem, brothers. How can you do that? Don't you feel any less of a man if you sleep with her behind her wali's back? Don't you feel unmanly? Don't you ever feel the need to take care of her before touching her? How can you even "brag" about it and boost your ego, after you slept with a random chick last week, if you didn't even knew her name and address?
Why do you act desperate for her attention? Why do you slide in her DMs begging her to reply? Why don't you directly slide into her father's DMs? If you want be with her, do it with commitment.
I am not saying to completely ignore what they are doing. We can't just ignore it. The fact we are in this situation today is because they are like that.
Learn the female nature, learn how they work. They are like this today, because we gave them leeway. I know, it will get harder to control her, since govt. would be involved too, because somehow you would be "abusing" her. What we can do is to gradually make ourselves stronger as a collective and be the MAN that we were placed on this Earth for. Take charge! If you be the MAN, then your family and society will be alright.
Seek examples from the men in history, prophets and the Quran. See what Allah says about women.
"It is He who created you from one soul, and created from its mate that he might dwell in security with her..." Quran 7:189
“O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good. But if you want to replace one wife with another and you have given one of them a great amount [in gifts], do not take [back] from it anything. Would you take it in injustice and manifest sin?” Quran 4:19-20
I wanted to say many more things, but if anyone else want to add up, please do that. Ramdhan mubarak!