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How To Get There (Philippines)

2018.04.11 17:14 epikotaku How To Get There (Philippines)

Ask the community and get the right directions wherever you like to go: Jeepneys, buses, tricycles, trains, UVs, and more!

2019.05.16 22:21 pianoflames Cancer Dog


2019.05.16 11:01 thesidehustle

thesidehustle is for your side hustle money making ideas

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submitted by AutoModerator to ImanGadzhiAgency [link] [comments]

2023.02.10 22:40 AutoModerator [WE HAVE FOR SALE] - Agency Navigator, Agency Incubator, Copy Paste Agency, 6 Figure SMMA + MORE IMAN GADZHI COURSES On USE COUPON R3DDIT15OFF FOR 15% OFF

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I have Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator course is one among the best courses on how to start a social media marketing agency.
Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator includes over 50 hours of step-by-step training covering EVERY aspect of building an agency from scratch. This is almost a plug & play system with enough success stories to back it up! Signing clients, running Facebook ads, building out your team, on-boarding clients, invoicing, sales... this course has everything covered for you.
The content of Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator is :

  1. Agency Navigator course Core Curriculum
  2. Custom E-Learning Platform For Agency Owners
  3. Financial Planner, Revenue Calculator, Outreach Tracker & More Tools
  4. Websites Templates, Funnels, Ads & More
  5. Template Contracts, Sales Scripts, Agreements & More
The lessons in Iman Gadzhi - Agency Navigator will teach you how to:
- Starting Your Agency
- Finding Leads
- Signing Clients
- Getting Paid
- Onboarding Clients
- Managing Client Communication...
...and much, much more!\*
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submitted by AutoModerator to GenkiCourses1 [link] [comments]

2023.02.10 21:08 funkyfate0 TN (Nashville) - Expired License Plate Ticket Question

ETA: Okay I just found a post here on nashville which clarified that I shouldn't face any big consequences (the comment from the user "freemytree" made me feel better, I'm not sure how to tag that user to thank them though because I'm very much a Reddit newb), but I would still like to know what will happen in the ticket situation.... Thank you to anyone who may be able to help!!

Soooo I may be massively overthinking this but I am a champion-level overthinker so that's normal for me. If I'm not overthinking it though, I'm super worried that I made a huge mistake.
I got my registration renewal notice prior to my license plate (the original old white and green one) expiring in October, but I really did not want to get the new standard TN plate (the dark blue one) because I wanted to get a specialty plate instead. However, you have to go to the county clerk office in person if you want to get a new specialty tag which, between my work schedule + traveling a lot for work + being out of the country for a chunk of the winter, I did not have time to do until today (I know, I know - I could have forced a way to make time.... but I didn't and I can't go back and change that now).
Yesterday, I came back to my legally-parked car and was surprised to see a ticket - it was for having an expired registration. I was annoyed because I knew I was planning on going to get my new plate today, but I couldn't have known that a cop would see my plate and ticket me while I was at work the day before I was planning on (finally) getting a new plate.
So I went to get the plate today and I mentioned that I had been out of the country for a chunk and was sorry that I was so late getting the registration renewed. The gal who helped me was super understanding and handed me an affidavit to sign stating that I had not driven the car (it also said had not received any citations) since the registration expired as if that was totally fine - I told her that I had in fact driven the car but she just said "yeah it's fine, thanks for your honesty but it's all good, just sign this" and I honestly didn't know what to do at that point so I just didn't mention the ticket. Then she deactivated my old license plate number, I paid for the new license plate, and I left (absolutely panicking in my overthinker brain). I tried to pay the ticket online, but it wouldn't go through. I even called the ticket office people and they said it just isn't in the system yet and to try again next week.
My question is this - am I going to get into serious trouble if it becomes clear that I'm paying a ticket on what is now a deactivated license plate because I signed that form?? Or is it more likely that I will just pay the ticket and move on with my life and everything will be fine?

TL;DR - Didn't renew license plate after it expired because I wanted a specialty tag, got a ticket on my parked car yesterday for expired registration, got a new tag today and was made to sign a form saying I hadn't driven or received a citation on the car and was told it was fine even though I told the lady that I had driven it, now I'm worried that I'll get into serious trouble trying to pay the ticket on my now-deactivated old license plate.
submitted by funkyfate0 to legaladvice [link] [comments]

2023.02.10 20:35 Cyborgskeleton LF Scarlet exclusives, FT Violet exclusives

Just got a small handful left before Pokedex completion!
I only need tradebacks but if you want to work out a permanent trade just let me know! I have most of the Violet exclusives, I would possibly need time to breed depending on what is needed. Here's what's left!
Armarouge Larvitar Pupitar Tyranitar
When I get these, I'll just need to nab the Ruinous Quartet and I should be complete! Thanks for reading.
submitted by Cyborgskeleton to pokemontrades [link] [comments]

2023.02.07 21:21 Chris_Wasnt_here The Glitches have a chat I suppose

The Glitches have a chat I suppose submitted by Chris_Wasnt_here to alphabetfriends [link] [comments]

2023.02.07 21:16 AutoModerator [SHARE COURSE] Biaheza – Full Dropshipping Course

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submitted by AutoModerator to Biaheza_Course [link] [comments]

2023.02.07 21:13 vubs Questions about Expense Ratios and Target Date Funds

I have been confused for sometime about how expense ratios are charged with mutual fund or ETFS.
  1. How vanguard VOO has an expense ratio of 0.03%. Is this an annual charge of 0.03% of my money in that fund? If so, when does the charge actually happen? Let's say I don't have my money in that VOO fund the entire year am I still charged the 0.03%, even though they only managed my money for half the time?
  2. I have my 401k in the S&P 500 right now because the expense ratio is lower than a target date fund and I am young. But when I get older, 45-50 years of age, I want to move all my money from the S&P to the target date fund 2060. Let's say the expense ratio for that target date fund is 0.08% and I move $50,000 over. Will they instally charge me that 0.08% on the $50,000 or do they wait a year?
  3. This is a side question to question 3. I really do have my 401k all in the S&P 500 due to low expense ratio fees. And plan on keeping it there till I am older and then moving it to the target date fund where it will lower my risk. Is this a good or bad move? Am I hurting my funds by not having it in the target date fund now? I really don't see why I would put it in the target date fund if the S&P has cheaper fees and gets similar or better returns than the target date fund.
Please give me some insight on how these Fund Expenses are charged to me when using them.
Thank you!
submitted by vubs to personalfinance [link] [comments]

2023.02.07 21:13 fluffy199704 When stuck in traffic, do you ever get the thought that why are we all racing to somewhere to get a piece of paper to survive?

submitted by fluffy199704 to NoStupidQuestions [link] [comments]

2023.02.07 21:11 ItsKonflicT Red Bull Blue Edition?

How do you get red bull blue edition (blueberry) in the UK? Checked websites like eBay but shipping is way too expensive to where I’d be looking at £50 for a 12 pack which is a bit of a joke
submitted by ItsKonflicT to energydrinks [link] [comments]

2023.02.07 21:08 Mr_Mees_Moldy_Minge What tier would Flak/Jugger be if you had the same abilities as the CPU?

For those of you who don't know, the computer can tell when they're going to get a good luck roll with Flak or Jugger. This significantly improves them.
If we got the ability to see exactly what percent we'd get, how much better do you think these characters would be? (Awbw tier system)
submitted by Mr_Mees_Moldy_Minge to Advance_Wars [link] [comments]

2023.02.07 21:07 wirecatz "No show" appointment reason for chargeback?

Sorry if this is super wordy. Including all details because I feel like I'm going crazy.
Last year I went to psychotherapy for a couple months through a telehealth service. I found a small organization and therapist who seemed to specialize in what I was dealing with and had good recommendations. It cost $150 per 45 minute session. Conducted by phone weekly.
One of the sessions was scheduled in the middle of the day so I had to take off work. Never received a phone call. After 15 minutes I emailed asking what had happened and if we could reschedule. A full hour after the appointment time he replied saying he had called once, and offered a reschedule time the next week. Also let me know if that happened again he would drop me, essentially. I sent a screenshot of my call history, including missed work calls, but nothing from him. No reply, I thought we had an understanding.
He later charged my card full cost for a "no show." I sent him an email explaining that I didn't think it was reasonable, I did everything I could have, used vacation, etc. He sent a somewhat condescending email back about how I should make sure my spam filter is off (it is, I work in IT. No other issue with his calls.) and I should call him if he doesn't call me after 10 minutes. I did not know this was possible, as he relays through an out of state service. Also, it seems like only trying once is kind of ridiculous. He clearly wasn't devoting the time to me since my email went unanswered until after the session should have ended. He refused to discuss billing further outside our appointment time.
At this point I also cancel further meetings since I felt a bit taken advantage of, and lay out my final case. He responds that he understands. But no refund. After a month, I call and leave a message with the parent organization and it is forwarded to him.. He plays dumb saying "I understand you have further billing questions?" and once again ignores my reply. This was almost a month ago.
The documents I signed specify I am financially responsible for no shows or late cancels, but doesn't define those terms. It definitely doesn't say I'm responsible for all technical issues on either end, or what my options are if I don't get a call.
Is that a valid case for chargeback? I don't want to be a jerk, but that $150 means a lot to my family right now.
submitted by wirecatz to personalfinance [link] [comments]

2023.02.07 21:06 zace5777 My GF has an Aneurysm and is an Immigrant, and I need advice

Hi really could use advice on my current situation. As the title states, my GF has an aneurysm we found out about a few months ago. She's avoiding surgery due to past medical experiences, and also it is pretty expensive. She currently tried injections, that will cost around $7k every 4-months. The doctor stated she at least needs to do that to survive. However, that's pretty unaffordable for the average person. I think her insurance pays around 75%, and the $7k is what she will pay after insurance. She's tried negotiating the price, but that's where they're at. If she pays in full it will be the $7k mentioned, vs. around $10k not paying total price and overtime. - She doesn't want to get into debt if she can help it, understandably so.
Now for why I mentioned the immigrant status, she's looking at moving back home to South America. The treatment will be significantly cheaper for the same injections and will last 2 years vs. the 4-month dose. However, she's on asylum and won't be allowed to return to the U.S. she's been here for several years now and has built a life with a dog a house and moved most of her family here. For that, she doesn't necessarily want to move and have to go years of figuring out how to return or reunite with her family after doing it to come here.
I'm lost at what help I can provide if any. I'm asking here to hope someone has resources they can share or experiences. Any help would be great. We're exhausted mentally and emotionally, and the only answer she feels are open to her is to pay the bills and commit what feels like financial suicide or die from the causes. Regardless the injections seems like they will be unaffordable.
submitted by zace5777 to Advice [link] [comments]

2023.02.07 21:04 Police_pug_Pugzie [help] bell training?

i really want to bell train my puppy! how would i do it? i saw on kikopup she said todo it when they are done potty training but should you start from day 1? my plan is just ever time we go outside i will lightly take his paw and slap the bell them praise and treat him a proceed outside! what do you guys think?
submitted by Police_pug_Pugzie to puppy101 [link] [comments]

2023.02.07 21:04 Insatiabledoobie It’s annoying af and a lady bits dryer.

Do guys not understand that telling any woman of color “I’ve never been with your kind before, but always wanted to” is a COMPLETE turn off?!
No lady is gonna respond with “well, lemme be your first!” 😉😘😋💋💋💋
We’re all the same. Hair texture is different but holy fuck, don’t make it weird. That is a sure fire way to make me think you only want to experiment and not actually take me seriously.
Gah dammit, you guys. Get it together.
submitted by Insatiabledoobie to u/Insatiabledoobie [link] [comments]

2023.02.07 21:02 cr61g Nail/skin biting, grinding teeth etc

Hello, so I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD like last week, after I went to hospital to the crisis team ranting on at them about why I was there in the first place, so after 15 minutes she looks at me and asks have a ever been tested for ADHD! No… why? Lol, so then im on the internet and texting everyone I speak to often to ask about me maybe being adhd! Anyway that’s a different question hing I wanna talk about maybe with you But if you have ADHD how many of u BITE your finger nails them move on to your skin on your fingers running your fingers over your skin to feel anything to pick at? Like I rip the skin off mine then my fingers are raw until it stops hurting then repeat! Do you also grind your teeth? See I DO NOT GRIND MY TEETH! Well my dentist said I do so I got angry at him cause I thought me was calling me a drug addict so I’m like nope I don’t grind he’s like oh yes you do so I’m NO I DONT I SONT TAKE DRUGS WHAT U ON ABOUT!! So then I goes and looks at my teeth and fook me my teeth are ground down
so anyway do you bite your nails pick your skin til it bleeds and is red raw and do you grind your teeth??
submitted by cr61g to ADHD [link] [comments]

2023.02.07 21:02 mgegv Psychedelics "ego reaffirming"

Context: someone on reddit once told me that LSD has this "ego reaffirming" effect. I asked him what he means by that because it's "a concept" I once thought about (I'll explain it later), and he said:
"In my experience if I want to reinforce things I believe about the world or increase my level of self centeredness I would use acid. If I want to change my mind about things and make me less self centered I'd use mushrooms.
Another thing I've noticed is on the come down of acid I'm very self critical while on mushrooms I'm more at peace. Idk if any of that is related though."
And then I replied this but he didn't reply back (probably bc it was too much lmao) so I hope you guys could help me with this 🌝:
I started doing psychedelics from the documentary "How to change your mind" (all about psychedelic therapy) so I was planning –self– treating the PTSD and OCD I've had since childhood since I had no means to find a better clinical approach or with actual psychedelic therapists. So as I didn't find shrooms or acid in my area, I started off with MDMA, integration; daily meditation, journaling and some background on psychology I have.
I literally cured my PTSD. It literally happened. My whole nervous system doesn't remember anymore ever being abused and I don't react to my triggers anymore. But my OCD got incredibly worse. And my theory was MDMA strengthened my ego which a the moment was essential for treating my PTSD, but there's some mental illnesses such as OCD or eating disorders I believe are tightly related to egoistic beliefs, the ego in general, a damaged ego. So now I basically wanted to kill it or dissolve it.
I didn't ever share this with anyone or found anything related on the internet. Then I finally found shrooms, altered my whole life and changed my perspective on EVERYTHING. Cured my OCD. I feel free today more than ever of any kind of pain, past wounds, anxiety or weird fixations. But now... I don't know what to do with my life in any sense. I doubt what I like, interests and passions, I feel more connected to myself than ever, but less connected with the stuff I used to relate with me, including dreams, goals, even music taste, my artistic taste in general, as if all my life was a lie, but I remember genuinely enjoying all this stuff, and didn't copy this "personality" from anyone I was even considered weird among my peers for my artistic taste and hobbies. They lost a lot of sense if not all and although it doesn't feel scary I don't want to feel this way. Now I want to go live my life as I never did before bc of my past mental state. I want my ambitions back (I used to have good ones where I am really skilled) because yeah I need to feed myself, I'm only 23, now I still like a bunch of different stuff but everything means and feels so ambiguous and "not me". So, I was thinking based on everything I've read "maybe acid can help me with this" to redifine my paths, identify, and passions...
And this "ego reaffirming" logic really makes me believe it could work idk, I feel that "I don't care about my success" more than what I'd like, I need to make strong plans and take strong decisions real soon and I'm like "whatever" and I don't like it... it's been 1 month since I took that heroic dose of shrooms and this doesn't go away. As if I lost my identity. What are your thoughts now based on this context?
Sorry if it's too much or too confusing guys. I appreciate anything you may suggest :)
submitted by mgegv to shrooms [link] [comments]

2023.02.07 21:01 Plane-Midnight4492 My boyfriend (20M) and I (20F) keep having the same conversations over and over. It's driving me crazy.

My boyfriend (20M) and I (20F) are currently in a long term relationship that became long distance when I moved away for university - we started dating right after high school so we've been together for a couple years. I'm in my second year about a three hour plane ride away from home. He works full time in the trades. I love him but the problem is all we ever talk about is our plans for the day (never changes), missing each other, sex, when I'm coming home next, or complaints about work. It drives me crazy. We do have similar interests to some extent, like we both enjoy watching sports (there's more but this is just an example) but there's only so much you can talk about with that stuff. It's exhausting. I don't find myself enjoying our video chats or calls anymore because it turns stale and all about sex. I love our sex life but I don't want to hear about it constantly, especially when I'm not aroused. He doesn't get involved in current events or anything and so I feel like we don't even have the ability to have these conversations at all. I'm getting resentful and annoyed often but I don't know how to bring this up without hurting his feelings. Does anyone have any suggestions on new convos to start or how to bring this up in a gentle way?
TLDR: my boyfriend and I keep having the same bland conversations and I'm tired of it.
submitted by Plane-Midnight4492 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.02.07 21:01 JustHere4MedicalQ I've had a bump on my left finger for years (with pics)

I made a post somewhere else posting my pictures so I'll add the link here so you have the them:
Also added in a comment there:
I've had this bump for years. Don't even remember now long. Doctor before overlooked it, haven't gotten to a dermatologist yet. The flair of it kinda comes and goes, like it's always there but sometimes it hurts more than other times. The dot in the middle is usually skin colored/clear but recently it's turned black (it's been black before I believe but don't exactly remember). If I leave it alone it doesn't hurt but if I push down on it there's a sharpish pain that hurts the more I push down. After pushing down, the feeling will kinda linger for a little while. If I just try to move it it feels uncomfortable.
The bump itself feels hard but not extremely hard as in unmovable (can move it around like a centimeter, very limited) or like a rock. The fingernail on the same finger is sometimes orange-ish/yellowish and have been dealing with that for years too but I always chalked it up as from smoking cigarettes in that finger and try not to anymore but sometimes it happens and that's when I notice a deeper discolor sometimes even tho the fingernail is uaulmt yellower than the others, I don't really have the same discoloration on my other fingers or my other index finger which I use to smoke more with. The cold could also make it hurt/sensitive whereas in the summer it's lesser but still hurts/there.
It barely hurts on its own unless I've been pushing down on it or trying to move it but sometimes there will be a random dude ache from it. I'm 26 (27 next month), smoke cigarettes, drink, have hypochondria but also have a few other things I need to check out (like a bump on a testicle, which they said was something else before but I know it isn't along with a hydrocele, tar build up on my teeth, constant mucus in throat and nose (has been for years), often tiredness/depression/anxiety, some nausea, stomach discomfort, loose/soft/dark bowel movements I've had for awhile, lack of a real appetite unless I smoke weed, etc).
I have a 3 year old that I'm really trying to be around for and honestly typing this all out is making me really anxious, kind of sad and worried. Does anyone know what could be going on and what could be going on with my finger? I'm trying not to assume the most negative things but I really don't know anymore. Either way I got my medical assistance approval letter and have to try getting on a plan with medical rides since I don't have a vehicle (which prevented me from things before the coverage was put on hold) and need to go see a variety of doctors to get things checked out and in order. Pretty worried tho.
If anyone knows anything, has any ideas, experiences or thoughts, please let me know. Thanks.
submitted by JustHere4MedicalQ to AskDocs [link] [comments]

2023.02.07 20:58 DreamslitsBenjamins 1st Store Experience

I been doing dropshipping for a couple months but I haven't gotten any sale, someone recommended the product that I’m using for my store and these are the issues I have been facing since I started

Inquiries with little to no views or conversions to my websites
I don't know how to create ads for my product. I made an attempt to make ads for myself on Canva. It came out ok but it's not my specialty. In addition I hired someone who was better than me at creating ads and he also was managing different social media accounts for me. I was planning to hire someone to create all the content related to my product so i could\ focus on postings but I didn’t fall through with that. I understand that part of the problem is lack of effort or commitment towards the product.
After paying someone to create ads for my store, I stopped working with him because in the long run he would have cost me more money than chasing potential sales - How do you vet a person out to see if they’re qualified for job example website creation. Marketing, content creation.
Since my store isn't getting enough traction- I don't fully resonate with the product or niche- I'm researching marketing strategies to promote my product and info about the product. Is it important for you to know about the product or niche before you sell? I know focusing on all different social media platforms is not the most efficient for my store. Instead, I should focus on where my target audience is and market there.
While the product seems more appealing to women, I neither have the problem the product solves nor am I a woman to make my own videos to market the product- I don't know how to make content for a product, do you need the product in hand to make content?
I don't know if I should move on. I don't really relate to the product but I spent money on the product and was told it's a good product? How do you determine to give up on a product and move to the next product ?
How do you find products that meet the qualifications to be good enough to use for dropshipping? What tools or methods do you use ? I really want to go to the gaming or fitness niche because I related to that niche the most ? I also want to create a controller but someone wanted me to understand the business model of dropshipping before creating my own controller.
I read you need a license for dropshipping, Is that true? I contacted suppliers but it didn't do any good because I have gotten any sales.
submitted by DreamslitsBenjamins to dropshipping [link] [comments]

2023.02.07 20:58 UndulatingTunamelt The Importance of Giving Voice to Criticism & Doubt in a Respectful & Constructive Way

The following is a comment (with a follow-up comment) that I left for someone on therapyabuse a few months ago. I repost it, here, to further encourage open dialogue about TEAM CBT and Dr. David Burns. TEAM CBT is all about critical thinking, compassion, and understanding. We employ these with our own thoughts and, respectfully, with the thoughts of others. It's a reminder to never blindly accept what is put before us. If you have doubts, they deserve to be heard. This habit will strengthen those beliefs that serve you well, and guard against those that don't. Dr. Burns himself often tells his readers to question him, to question everything. If something is solid, it will stand up to whatever you throw at it.
Full disclosure: I've read FEEING GREAT more than a dozen times, and his other books multiple times, as well. I listen to the podcast every week. I've been through the FEELING GREAT BOOK CLUB twice (a 3-month long, once-weekly zoom group hosted by 2 TEAM-certified therapists). I'm even signed up to be a small group facilitator in the upcoming September book club, and I host a TEAM CBT Facebook Support/Practice Group. It's been a big part of my life for the past couple of years.
All that said, I have heaps of criticism for Dr. Burns. Many of the things he says make a lot of sense to me, but many things I disagree with or have serious doubts about, so much so that I may give notice to drop out of the aforementioned book club facilitator role before it begins. A big part of my misgivings is just as you said, taking issue with the tone of ableism and privilege, as well as advising people against certain potentially life-saving medications. I've also heard/read him tell stories of interventions with patients that I found ethically-questionable, such as the time when he insisted a patient rub her hands on the inside of a gooey garbage bin, then wipe her hands on her face, to cure her of germ phobia.
Listening to the podcasts, you get an even less inhibited view into the mind of Dr. Burns. He frequently says things that are unprofessional, shocking, rude, or downright bizarre. More than once his cohost has chided him, "David! You can't say that." He got into such a conflict with his first cohost, that he left the show. When interviewing guests that he disagrees with, Dr. Burns is often very critical and rude. Lately, I've found him to be especially rude to listeners who have written in with innocent and polite questions. In podcast #299 (44:10), he described an incident at home, when he was "pooping" on the upstairs toilet. Before getting up to look for toilet paper, he said "I squeezed my butt cheeks together so nothing would drip on the floor."
My sense is that he's "losing it." In fact, he often says he's getting "old and senile." He's 80-something-year-old now. I think it explains his failing filter, but he's always been a little unfiltered. He does apologize pretty often for his gaffes. Sometimes it's sincere, but sometimes it seems to me that he's just sorry the other person is offended (a non-apology). He often says that he has little patience for small talk and "annoying questions." He's also obsessed with the ideas of "enlightenment," euphoria, and the "single session cure." I don't know why he feels the need for so much hyperbole, but I suspect it has to with his growing certainly that TEAM CBT is some sort of spiritual truth (though he stops short of saying it so directly). He feels that a lot of his ideas will change the course of psychology and perhaps the world. I don't get the sense that he's a con artist. I believe he's genuinely sincere, a true believer. (He cries every time he brings up Ludwig Wittgenstein, because he had such amazing insights, but no one believed him.)
Considering how he believes ADHD isn't a real thing, I sense strong ADHD vibes from him, as well as ASD (autism). These are very real things that I've been diagnosed with. I feel I have a good radar for it in others, and the more I read/listen to him, the more I see it. Of course, this doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it does explain a lot. I think he has a legitimately brilliant mind, and I value quite a lot of the tools and concepts he developed. But he's also got serious cognitive bias going on with his bad ideas, and his cognitive inflexibility doesn't allow him to examine them objectively. I understand this is quite common with genius. Some of the biggest minds in history had some pretty wacky beliefs outside of their legitimate contributions.
TEAM CBT has a lot going for it. Thankfully, Dr. Burns isn't the only one promoting it. There's an entire Feeling Good Institute dedicated to training and certifying TEAM therapists (with his blessing but not his oversight). Of the most prominent TEAM therapists I've heard speak, they're definitely much gentler than David and non-offensive/demanding. They seem to have taken the best parts of his material and left behind the bad. This is encouraging. Hopefully, Dr. Burns doesn't do too much more damage to TEAM in his later years. Letting him do an off-the-cuff podcast probably isn't a great idea. At least books can be edited. But even so, as you pointed out, this hasn't prevented him from coming across like an asshole!
So, to make a short story long, I'm probably not going to do the book club this September. I've been withdrawing from the TEAM scene lately, anyway, because of my concerns with the image Dr. Burns is giving the whole thing. I still intend to keep everything that has been of value to me. I'm hoping that TEAM CBT will continue to evolve as a modality, but in the sensible and respectful direction that the Institute's best graduates will likely take it, especially when Dr. Burns fades from the scene.
I also don't want to be uncharitable, because he may well be autistic. I don't defend bad behavior—and he himself is good to agree, when his behavior is explained to him—but I do feel compelled to defend autistics in general, when their behavior is assumed to be malicious. As I'm sure you know, we autistics are too often misunderstood. We see the world in ways that others may think odd or sometimes inappropriate; we have issues with emotional regulation and executive function. I think it's important to take responsibility for one's dragon, but not to blame oneself for the dragon overwhelms our authority and does what dragons do. Responsibility and self-blame are two very different things, I'm starting to realize.
David Burns is a good man. Of this I'm certain. He has done a lot of good in the world. If he has done any bad, it has been innocently and obliviously. He has the flaws of any man, but unfortunately there are many who see his autistic traits as flaws as well (including himself). If he was just a regular guy, living a quiet life, he would be seen as eccentric and opinionated, at times, but also someone who genuinely cares for other people and likes to laugh and play with his cats. But this isn't his life. He lives in the spotlight, writing books and teaching and doing workshops. Again, no excuse, but when we autistics take on too much, our already clumsy emotional regulation and executive function gets clumsier. We say and do things that we may know are inappropriate and rude, but mostly don't even realize. We lose control over our dragon. (Isn't it really just a free-range dragon at all times, anyway? What's a leash? Never heard of it.)
All the things I said about David Burns are true. But they're also things he's aware of. They're things that others have pointed out to him; they're things he's made an effort to improve. As I said, he apologizes frequently for his mistakes—especially as he gets older. He thanks others for showing him when he's messed up. Of course, he continues to make the same mistakes. And he apologizes again. He's actually pretty gracious about it, most of the time, which is something I admire, because as an autistic, I know all too well the pain of constantly screwing up and constantly being told so and constantly apologizing. Sometimes I feel like all I ever do is apologize. Sometimes I feel so much resentment towards neurotypicals for picking apart every little thing I say and do and seeing it all as wrong and intentional. (I thought autistics were supposed to be the nitpicky, oversensitive ones!) It's exhausting and demoralizing. We internalize every criticism and character attack and believe we're defective, broken, irreparable. We start out social (sometimes) and withdraw, because if no one interacts with us, no one gets upset and no apologies are necessary.
You can see this in Dr. Burns' work: All his worksheets and analyses, all the methods he's created—they're a socially-inept and confused autistic's mission to understand how to get along in a world that's optimized for those to whom it comes naturally. Overachievers, perfectionists, and the chronically misunderstood are drawn to his work. But others look at all the worksheets and think, "This is ridiculous." I get it. I write and journal constantly. I've done soooo many worksheets. I hate it, but I get it, because I grew up being made to feel broken and weird and inappropriate, and I want to believe that I can make myself better somehow if I think at it enough.
One of the things I like about Feeling Great (the newest book) is that it doesn't make you feel broken. Again and again, he makes the point that your negative feelings aren't wrong or invalid. He advises the reader against trying to eliminate them, but to examine what it is they're telling us that's important, and only after we can see the value in them, to decide what would be a lower level to set them at that would allow us to feel better, while still preserving their benefits. He calls this Positive Reframing, which sounds like Positive Thinking, but really isn't the same thing. (He often rails against "toxic positivity.") Instead, he suggests learning to think in "shades of gray." Life is complicated. Everything is NOT going to be okay. But everything is not going to be terrible, either.
As someone prone to "Black and White Thinking," I need this message. As someone with a weak working memory and executive function issues, I benefit from doing worksheets and journaling. It's not something I do all the time, but it can get me unstuck when I'm in a hole. Of course, my perfectionism insists I do EVERYTHING I can possible do, to nail every technique in the book like it's my job. But that only gets me stuck again, stuck in my head. Then I have to remind myself, "It's not All-or-Nothing. Good enough is enough."
I grew up being made to feel broken. It's an experience nearly every autistic person has. We only learn later that we're different, not defective. Not better, not worse (I have no energy left for these meaningless contests of worth)—different! I think that's why I have a special place in my heart for David Burns. His experience reminds me to be kinder to myself when I offend others, when I behave obliviously in ways that others misinterpret as rude. It also reminds me to be more charitable towards other autistics, when they offend. (One criticism of the modern autistic community is that we can be brutally critical and downright abusive towards each other sometimes—likely a consequence of our social-emotional challenges and tendency toward cognitive inflexibility.)
I'm sorry if all this seems like a contradiction to my previous reply. My mind is a tangle of contradictions. It's unavoidable lol. I had hoped to give your original post a nuanced response that validated all of your concerns and criticisms, while conveying my own similar but occasionally dissimilar impressions as well. I hope I haven't made things more confusing. I hope you feel that I value and agree with your criticisms. (Not just, "I'm sorry you feel this way," but "I totally get why you're horrified and angry, and that is appropriate and rational.") This is actually one of the most valuable lessons I've learned from Dr. Burns, being able to agree with someone's criticisms and anger—not just that they feel that way, but truly understanding and appreciating and validating it—and then sharing your own perspective in a non-judgmental way. Granted, Dr. Burns really fails at this again and again and again, when he talks down to people, fails to consider their circumstances, etc. His autism doesn't give him a pass. But it does put his frequent errors into perspective, and I think makes his insights and perseverance all the more significant, because he's aware of his failures, but also often oblivious to them, but also really wants to be more aware, because he does care and he does want to improve his relationships with those close to him and with the wider world. It's a struggle I can relate to.
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2023.02.07 20:56 why__meee Medical condition (FMLA and ADA Approved), the online position job doesn't accommodate to, I live in Georgia USA

So i work from home, and i have severe ulcerative colitis. Working from home has been a blessing since diagnosed. My job is a call center for a large corporation. I have FMLA approved for two days off a month, for flair-ups. As well my doctor sent an ADA for up to four 20-minute breaks a day as needed. My HR met me at two 15 min breaks a day as needed. Which i was upset about, but better then nothing.
But the kicker is, because we work online, we have an "Adherence". The adherence is basically just making sure im doing my job and taking calls. It must be at 92% to keep my job. When i got the approval for the ADA breaks, they stated that my adherence still won't be adjusted, and it will be lowered when i take those.
I just got a verbal warning that if i don't get my adherence back up to 92% that there will be grounds for termination. Whenever I call HR about it, it doesn't seem like anyone REALLY knows what they're talking about to help me. Now that I'm on the line for my job I'm turning for help just to be safe. Will gladly go more into detail if you need me.
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