How much are sheetz hot dogs
Hot_Dog
2016.09.29 14:13 tredd24 Hot_Dog
For those that love hot dogs! This subreddit is where you can post pictures (homemade or restaurant-bought), videos, gifs, recipes, news, and so much more!
2014.02.03 23:29 mr_bag Dogs with Jobs
This is a community for real working dogs. These are jobs or tasks a dog is specifically trained to perform such as Guide Dog, Service Dog, Herding Dog, Police Dog, Sled Dog, etc. Silly/Fake jobs are NOT allowed in our sub. Read the full rules in the sidebar before posting.
2015.07.21 02:10 Naenil Hotdogs are Sandwich Partei
This is a party about how hot dogs are fucking sandiwchs
2023.03.25 03:00 manipedimeditate I have been on a few dates with this guy, and he asks “Are you seeing other people?” (and I’m not). What should I say?
I have been talking to this guy for about 4-5 months now, and we’ve been on a few dates too. (Thanks Bumble haha)
He has actually asked several times trying to figure out if I’m seeing other people, like when I’m busy on the weekend he’d ask if I’m with another guy (and I’d say that I’m with my family/friends), or like when I send him a flirty text he’d (jokingly?) ask if I send the same thing to other guys too. Stuff like that.
Now he’s asking for real, “are you seeing anyone else?” and I feel like I’m overthinking it. I’m seriously not seeing anyone else aside from him, but I’m wondering if just straight up telling him “no, I’m not. I’m only seeing you.” would sound clingy and make me look desperate.
I’m not sure if he’s asking because he wants to make sure we’re exclusive, or if he just wants an ego boost? Or even worse, to justify that it’s ok if he’s seeing other people too? Maybe I should also ask him if he’s seeing other people?
TLDR: Guy asks if I’m seeing other people. I’m not. How’s the best way to respond?
Thanks in advance for any advice or comments! Much appreciated. xx
submitted by manipedimeditate to Bumble [link] [comments]
He has actually asked several times trying to figure out if I’m seeing other people, like when I’m busy on the weekend he’d ask if I’m with another guy (and I’d say that I’m with my family/friends), or like when I send him a flirty text he’d (jokingly?) ask if I send the same thing to other guys too. Stuff like that.
Now he’s asking for real, “are you seeing anyone else?” and I feel like I’m overthinking it. I’m seriously not seeing anyone else aside from him, but I’m wondering if just straight up telling him “no, I’m not. I’m only seeing you.” would sound clingy and make me look desperate.
I’m not sure if he’s asking because he wants to make sure we’re exclusive, or if he just wants an ego boost? Or even worse, to justify that it’s ok if he’s seeing other people too? Maybe I should also ask him if he’s seeing other people?
TLDR: Guy asks if I’m seeing other people. I’m not. How’s the best way to respond?
Thanks in advance for any advice or comments! Much appreciated. xx
2023.03.25 02:59 tdinut Disappointed with Pilot Prera
I’m a big Pilot fan. All the reviews I’ve seen on the Prera, especially with the CM nib, have been great. I cleaned it well before its first inking. But it’s still not smooth like every other Pilot I own. It drags across the paper. Horizontal lines are virtually nonexistent while vertical lines are nice and juicy.
Maybe I was expecting too much. I love the lines it makes but it feels like I struggle to write with it. From my Kakunos, E95s, Custom Heritage 912 and a couple other Lamy Safari and Al Star pens, this Prera is nothing like them. It feels like it sticks and drags to the paper. Not sure how best to describe it. Horizontal lines look like the pen is running out of ink.
I’m tempted to swap the nib with a Kakuno M nib (if it fits).
I may also try and smooth out the nib with micro mesh and Mylar sheets but I think that’s a last resort.
Thoughts? Is it me?
submitted by tdinut to fountainpens [link] [comments]
Maybe I was expecting too much. I love the lines it makes but it feels like I struggle to write with it. From my Kakunos, E95s, Custom Heritage 912 and a couple other Lamy Safari and Al Star pens, this Prera is nothing like them. It feels like it sticks and drags to the paper. Not sure how best to describe it. Horizontal lines look like the pen is running out of ink.
I’m tempted to swap the nib with a Kakuno M nib (if it fits).
I may also try and smooth out the nib with micro mesh and Mylar sheets but I think that’s a last resort.
Thoughts? Is it me?
2023.03.25 02:59 PringlePlex Help Me Plan and Figure Reality Check/Further Publicizing (27 F 27 M)
I’m going to be putting out the posts I publicized already into videos of myself talking along with some other information on common abuse myths and resources. Does anyone have advice as to the best ways to go about this? I know I’m desensitized from having so much trauma in my life and I don’t want to come off convoluted or vindictive.
If people are worried about me drawing too much attention to myself: my ex fiancé as well as his family know where I am, what I’ve said I’ve been through to others and what I’ve been through with them. It is also publicized already to an extent and has been for many weeks. I’m two states away from all of them and quite a lot of people know already but many are overwhelmed understandably by how much text it is to read.
Thank you all for your time. I’ve been trying to work up the courage and clarity to do this for a couple of months now.
submitted by PringlePlex to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
If people are worried about me drawing too much attention to myself: my ex fiancé as well as his family know where I am, what I’ve said I’ve been through to others and what I’ve been through with them. It is also publicized already to an extent and has been for many weeks. I’m two states away from all of them and quite a lot of people know already but many are overwhelmed understandably by how much text it is to read.
Thank you all for your time. I’ve been trying to work up the courage and clarity to do this for a couple of months now.
2023.03.25 02:58 yourmo4321 Where in is a good place (other than here) to look at some of the things that are actively being worked on in the crypto space?
Like the title says I'm wondering where to look for information on what is upcoming in crypto.
I'm thinking along the lines of what is being looked into to solve some of the issues that could keep people not wanting to use it.
For example are there any ideas around how to potentially recover stolen funds? Or are there ideas around how to address things like refunds on large purchases?
Lots of us wouldn't mind seeing mass adoption but lots of us also ignore some pretty strong hurdles.
I've only made one big purchase with crypto (over $500) and it was a mistake. Basically the delivery time ended up being much longer than I had planned on and as such no longer needed the item. If I had paid via CC I would ask for a refund (I had yet to receive the product and they kept pushing back the delivery date) and if I wasn't given I would have just disputed the charge and got my money back.
Because I paid in USDC they basically said no refunds. I was lucky enough to be able to sell the item to someone else for what I paid. These types of things are hurdles IMO.
So is there a good place to see what kind of solutions are on the table for future development?
submitted by yourmo4321 to CryptoCurrency [link] [comments]
I'm thinking along the lines of what is being looked into to solve some of the issues that could keep people not wanting to use it.
For example are there any ideas around how to potentially recover stolen funds? Or are there ideas around how to address things like refunds on large purchases?
Lots of us wouldn't mind seeing mass adoption but lots of us also ignore some pretty strong hurdles.
I've only made one big purchase with crypto (over $500) and it was a mistake. Basically the delivery time ended up being much longer than I had planned on and as such no longer needed the item. If I had paid via CC I would ask for a refund (I had yet to receive the product and they kept pushing back the delivery date) and if I wasn't given I would have just disputed the charge and got my money back.
Because I paid in USDC they basically said no refunds. I was lucky enough to be able to sell the item to someone else for what I paid. These types of things are hurdles IMO.
So is there a good place to see what kind of solutions are on the table for future development?
2023.03.25 02:58 justhaggling Too much Isathal?
- Dog
- 8.5 years
- Male, neutered
- Standard Poodle
- 75lbs
- History of itchy ears, and itchy eyes after grooming
- Discharge from eyes, pawing at eyes, slightly reddened eyes
- One week
- Nova Scotia
He had more irritation after his most recent grooming, and I started another round of treatment.
He’s pretty squirmy, and it’s a struggle to get the drops in him successfully. When I administered the drops tonight, one drop went in the right eye okay, but when some of the medication landed on his lid margin when I applied it to the left eye.
Because it didn’t all go in, I put another drop in, but now I’m worried that he got too much, and I’m concerned about potentially damaging his eye in some way with too much fusic acid.
I tried to wipe the excess medication off with a kleenex, but I’m still fretting over this. How concerned should I be about this? Should I delay tomorrow’s dose?
Thanks for your help with this!
2023.03.25 02:58 Active_Moment_2236 41F 41M
My wife told me last week that she has been having a friendship with a co-worker at work that then evolved into flirting, and a couple of weeks ago evolved into explicit messages at their work messenger system and then last week they fondled each other in his car. She SAYS she put a stop to it before any actual sex occurred because she felt extremely guilty, and she told him they couldn't talk anymore (they work in the same company, but not in the same building or department). I have told her she needs to switch jobs because I can't trust her while he's still even around. I am totally heartbroken and devastated. My feelings go from extreme sadness, to rage, to confusion, and it just seems too much to handle. I love my wife will all my heart and I know she loves me, but obviously right now In unable to really trust her or forgive her. Talking to her, she told me she never really had lust or desire for me. That she fell in love with me for the type of person I am, and proceeded to talk about all my good traits. But she says about once a year she has this overwhelming feeling that she wants to feel that desire, but she doesn't feel that for me. She tells me she LOVES being wanted by other guys, that's it feels like a high for her, and she's been feeling that more and more lately and she was unable to stop herself this time. She was loving the attention this guy was giving her (I tell her ALL the time how beautiful and sexy and hot she is, but she does not respond to anything sexual I say to her) she told me most of the time she has sex with me because she knows I want it and need it, and she enjoys orgasms with me, but that the desire isn't there. She says she loves me deeply and she wants to work on that and on us and make our marriage work to where we can both be content with what we have. I'm not entirely sure this can be saved, but I want to try because even though I'm hurting right now, I love her with all my heart. Has anyone ever heard of a situation like this? I'm having a hard time. Advice?
submitted by Active_Moment_2236 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2023.03.25 02:58 ThrowRATHROWAWAYY3 [31f][30m] feeling like I'm always being gaslighted
It first happened when I was going to meet my boyfriend and my brothers at his job.
Then this guy (very attractive) drove by me and was checking me out hard core.
I wasn't interested so I ignored him and looked at my boyfriend as im pulling up to the group.
He looked uneasy yet waved and kept his cool
We are hanging out later in the day, hes a bit quiet. Then purposely makes it look like hes checking out another girl in my face.
I didnt say much because i wasnt going to jump to conclusions. But ive noticed this happening time & time again when men chsck me out.. my boyfriend then proceed to "get back at me" by checking other women out to where it feela like hes putting me in my place. How the fuck is this my fault.
I respect our relationship to not even give these men the time of day to make them know they have my attention.
I called him out it's been 3 years of what I feel he gaslights. Now I can't even trust him here's a list of things that's happened.
Guy checking me out. To him checking other women out right after the fact.
He stole my smart watch. After a week goes by the day he comes over "it magically" reappeared.
He "looks" at other women in my presence. It's more like a constant glances.
Whenever he gets mad at me he tries to trigger me. I've noticed random eye lashes (falsoes) appearing out of nowhere so I can see. It's to make it seem like another woman has been around. Usually it wasn't there before.
He likes to place things to where I'd react. (I've learned to stop reacting) my transmission even went out after being excited for weeks that I was going to pay off my car finally. Back in the whole for 3 grand..
My passport randomly went missing. I kept up with it until the very day I was moving. Which should be in my things as I packed it and just went from part A to B. Never saw it again after that day.
Things dissappear and reappear it's very strange and I can never guess what happened. I think he's mad at me for having the life I do. So I'm being punished. Why is that? Sometimes I claim he has gaslighted when he hasn't it's only been maybe once or twice but now I just can't trust him
Last night a hair was wrapped in my tooth brush eventho it's in a protective case... and I always rinse that and my brush out.
I think he liked to see me squirm. Maybe his dad was like this? I heard his dad was abusive!! Dad died though..
What the heck is going on and what should I do. I should of never kept this baby
Tl;dr: boyfriend to me gaslights and I don't believe he doesn't from this story what do you advice I do. Way too many coincidences to happen for me to be physically and mentally unwell. I never experience this when I was by myself. I hate it here
submitted by ThrowRATHROWAWAYY3 to relationships [link] [comments]
Then this guy (very attractive) drove by me and was checking me out hard core.
I wasn't interested so I ignored him and looked at my boyfriend as im pulling up to the group.
He looked uneasy yet waved and kept his cool
We are hanging out later in the day, hes a bit quiet. Then purposely makes it look like hes checking out another girl in my face.
I didnt say much because i wasnt going to jump to conclusions. But ive noticed this happening time & time again when men chsck me out.. my boyfriend then proceed to "get back at me" by checking other women out to where it feela like hes putting me in my place. How the fuck is this my fault.
I respect our relationship to not even give these men the time of day to make them know they have my attention.
I called him out it's been 3 years of what I feel he gaslights. Now I can't even trust him here's a list of things that's happened.
Guy checking me out. To him checking other women out right after the fact.
He stole my smart watch. After a week goes by the day he comes over "it magically" reappeared.
He "looks" at other women in my presence. It's more like a constant glances.
Whenever he gets mad at me he tries to trigger me. I've noticed random eye lashes (falsoes) appearing out of nowhere so I can see. It's to make it seem like another woman has been around. Usually it wasn't there before.
He likes to place things to where I'd react. (I've learned to stop reacting) my transmission even went out after being excited for weeks that I was going to pay off my car finally. Back in the whole for 3 grand..
My passport randomly went missing. I kept up with it until the very day I was moving. Which should be in my things as I packed it and just went from part A to B. Never saw it again after that day.
Things dissappear and reappear it's very strange and I can never guess what happened. I think he's mad at me for having the life I do. So I'm being punished. Why is that? Sometimes I claim he has gaslighted when he hasn't it's only been maybe once or twice but now I just can't trust him
Last night a hair was wrapped in my tooth brush eventho it's in a protective case... and I always rinse that and my brush out.
I think he liked to see me squirm. Maybe his dad was like this? I heard his dad was abusive!! Dad died though..
What the heck is going on and what should I do. I should of never kept this baby
Tl;dr: boyfriend to me gaslights and I don't believe he doesn't from this story what do you advice I do. Way too many coincidences to happen for me to be physically and mentally unwell. I never experience this when I was by myself. I hate it here
2023.03.25 02:58 BadTakeBrian Enterprise Group ($E.TO, $ETOLF.OTC): Cash Flow Machine, Deep Value, Squeeze Potential
 | Intro submitted by BadTakeBrian to PennyHaven [link] [comments] I should start by saying that the search for a company like Enterprise began under the following pretense: I have a bearish view of where I think broad markets are going by the end of 2023 and wanted somewhere to hide out while still maintaining the potential to double my investment under any broad market scenario. Enterprise Group fits that bill. The Company is a niche energy service company that provides site infrastructure services to remote western Canadian production sites for pipelines, construction and oil and gas sectors in western Canada. I believe Enterprise is a fantastic and deeply overlooked company fit for retail investors (like me) who have the ability to enter a position ahead of institutions catching hold of the name. The core thesis on Enterprise is: - Low correlation to broad markets - High growth and 30% cash flow yield - Healthy balance sheet providing ~$20M in dry powder for potential non-dilutive M&A - Share buyback in place to support stock - Unique low-emission fleet of equipment to grow market share - Structural market expansion History Enterprise was founded in 2004, though as it stands today, is a much leaner and higher growth business compared to what it was in the last bull market for energy in 2008-2014. Where many competitors went out of business during the bear market between 2014-2021, Enterprise wisely divested from lower margin business units, preserved its balance sheet and due to its unique fleet of equipment – was able to maintain cash flow positive during this time. M&A is part of the corporate DNA of Enterprise and has had a successful track record on that front. While others were still reeling from previous years downturn or still trying to repair their balance sheets in 2020/2021, Enterprise was able to utilize the strength of its balance sheet and positive cash flows to countercyclically invest into new business units to position themselves for the eventual return of energy markets we are now experiencing. A great example of this is the launch of Evolution Power in 2022, which offers a fleet of low-emission microgrids that power the entire production site with natural gas, replacing diesel generators. In doing so, EP reduces CO2 emissions by 30%, gives Enterprise higher margins, is safer and more efficient for the customer. As one of the few “green options” in the energy sector, they are becoming the first choice for larger oil and gas clients subject to Canada’s “heavy emitter” penalties. Market The large majority of Enterprise’s sales are derived from western Canadian energy producers, with a greater share of natural gas producers compared to oil producers within its book of clients. Though Enterprise profits have less commodity risk than their actual producing clients, the Company nevertheless is derivatively exposed to energy prices (though I believe there are some factors that reduce the correlation that I will get into later). After years of producers not investing into large exploration projects due to ESG mandates, regulations and low prices, the outlook on energy markets looks extremely promising for producers and has already begun to see a notable uptick in production levels that are expected to continue for a market that looks undersupplied in years ahead. More specifically to Enterprise’s western Canadian market, there are some very visible demand drivers on the horizon based on new pipeline capacity that provide a near certain increase in demand for services like Enterprise. This demand is structured within tens of billions of dollars of sunk infrastructure capital to provide a roadmap of oil and gas (mostly gas) production expansion in western Canada. Beginning in 2023 with the completion of NGTL network expansion (gas) and TMX pipeline (oil), there will continue to be major new export capacity to come online nearly every year this decade, with recent first nations LNG projects advancing on the west coast. For Canadian gas producers, the pipelines will allow them to access higher priced Asian markets, where prices are often multiples of those received in Canada or the US. You can bet there is going to be prompt increases to production to ship whatever they can to those markets, given the preferred economics. Financials Enterprise just recently released their full year 2022 financials March 20, 2023, where they posted fantastic results. Rather than do a deep dive into financials today, will simply share some important highlights and suggest reviewing their financials below: (https://www.sedar.com/DisplayCompanyDocuments.do?lang=EN&issuerNo=00020838) https://preview.redd.it/2apvhzq3lspa1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=6f98336dfb84cfcc9cc3d75aecd6d4c464593ea9 Additional items: - Bought back 1.8M shares in 2022 - Secured US OTC listing to increase access to US investors - Renewed buyback program - Available tax losses of $0.17/share - Purchased $5.6M of new equipment - Subsequently signed one of largest contracts in company history in Jan 2023 Share Structure Enterprise currently has 50.3M shares outstanding, with another 5M options exercisable at $0.45. Notably, management/board were buyers in the open market over the last few years and now hold over 40% of all shares outstanding. This is where I think it gets uniquely attractive for us retail investors. Since the last energy cycle, nearly all of the research analysts that covered the sector have moved on, meaning the few analysts left covering the space are focused on large-cap players and there are none covering companies the size of Enterprise. There is a window for retail to build a position in a hugely profitable company with a tight share structure subject to a potential squeeze before institutions begin to take notice. Finally – and maybe most importantly – 2022 saw a unique trading dynamic occur due to a large shareholder selling down their position. This shareholder accidentally accumulated a >10% ownership position, unknowingly triggering a requirement to file any purchase/sale of stock (see sedi filings to confirm). That shareholder then spent the entire year reducing their position below 10% but because there was not a large float of shares trading hands, effectively put a ceiling on the stock the entire year and single-handedly compressed the multiple. This does not appear to have been done with ill intent but explains why the stock bounced between a floor of around $0.38 (supported by the buyback) and $0.42 (where the shareholder was selling) despite everything going right for the company operationally. In January, the company bought back the final tranche of shares needed to get that shareholder below the 10% threshold, thereby clearing the way for share price to better track the improving cash flow of the company. Valuation Enterprise is currently trading at a deeply discounted valuation and historically low multiple, which is ironic considering this may be the best market they've ever operated in. As a particular point of reference, a comparison below for the 2020-2022 periods for EV/EBITDA and some other metrics that could influence the deserved multiple such as growth, profitability, and credit risk. I’ve also already listed a few reasons to be bullish on their future market (pipelines coming online beginning this year), which is consistent with management’s outlook from their MD&A that “…customers have indicated they will continue to operate at increased activities through the remainder of the year”. Though a 10-11x multiple shouldn't be expected moving forward, you can see the impact of having a large shareholder exiting with a small float and how a lack of share price movement can lose investor attention. Over the course of a year, Enterprise added over $5M in EBITDA (+175%) and barely saw its valuation change at all! *2022 year using current share price At a current 4.2x EV/EBITDA, Enterprise is trading far below the 6x it has traded in previous cycles and which seems very reasonable as a base case scenario. It would take very little notional buying for that re-rate to occur and for those able to establish a position at these prices, it would represent a 74% return. https://preview.redd.it/nfwcfd2zkspa1.png?width=867&format=png&auto=webp&s=8f214d0505cc1df9f2d87f84c0e4727ed7459c0d Finally, if Enterprise is seen through a different valuation lens**, the company just released in their earnings that equity holders would be due $0.68/share ($0.39 current share price) if the company simply sold all of their equipment at book value.** Multiple arguments to show that Enterprise is undervalued. Outlook Enterprise has a strong outlook on market fundamentals to support top line growth, increasing pricing power to maintain/increase margins and new revenue potential coming online with equipment additions. Given history of M&A activity, balance sheet flexibility and the fact some targets are still not fully recovered from 2014-2021 period, it would be very surprising if the company did not make one or more acquisitions in the near-future. Management has said as much on their recent twitter spaces interview. Fortunately for equity holders, management does not have to dilute shareholders while its equity remains undervalued. With $20M in unused credit at their disposal (their current market cap), they would have the ability to make a material acquisition without needing any equity at all. Even if they were to make an even larger acquisition, their debt providers are Ninepoint Partners (via Waygar Capital), who are home to none other than Eric Nuttall, who is the largest and most bullish energy fund manager on earth. You can bet that if the right target came along with the right assets/cash flow, Ninepoint would be more than happy to increase the size of that facility if they aren’t able to secure some seller's financing. If we assume a slight liquidity discount on a PrivateCo acquisition, $20M at 3x EV/EBITDA could buy around $6-7M of incremental EBITDA, effectively doubling the “cash flow” of the company before considering any synergies. Prospect of cross-selling new rental equipment would be high. If something like this came to pass and they grew to a $15M EBITDA business, there would undoubtedly be a whole new supply of small institutions that would be interested and could be an attractive buyout candidate for private equity, who they’re currently competing with for acquisitions. Risk Commodity Risk: This being the most obvious risk to the company. If we were to go back to the dark ages (2014-2021), there would be a material impact on Enterprise financials. I believe commodity risk for Enterprise is mitigated for 3 reasons:
No doubt we are entering a period of uncertainty, with global liquidity being reduced and the risk of recession on the horizon. I think this should be viewed in two ways:
Summary
I own shares in Enterprise. This is not financial advise. Please do your own due diligence. |
2023.03.25 02:57 mother_of_iggies Kylie’s Italian Greyhounds
What happened to her dogs? I have iggies so I used to love seeing her dogs. You never see the dogs anymore and she doesn’t mention them. Iggies are super emotional and need their humans to be around all the time and require all the blankets and laps. I have no idea how she’d manage to still have them with her lifestyle?
submitted by mother_of_iggies to KUWTKsnark [link] [comments]
2023.03.25 02:57 birdontophat Friday free chat!!
London was pretty good in the end. I was able to talk to a few people, though mostly they started the conversation. I was too shy to try and talk to someone unprompted. There were just a couple of interactions that gave me some anxiety.
The conference was interesting and I did a couple of touristy things too.
I carried on working on stuff after I got home, so I guess I'm going to try and relax this weekend as much as I can. I'm still awake in the day so maybe I'll go for a walk somewhere..
Let me know how you all are.
submitted by birdontophat to FA30plus [link] [comments]
The conference was interesting and I did a couple of touristy things too.
I carried on working on stuff after I got home, so I guess I'm going to try and relax this weekend as much as I can. I'm still awake in the day so maybe I'll go for a walk somewhere..
Let me know how you all are.
2023.03.25 02:57 teenyrabbitt any florida esthis have advice for getting into medical esthetics?
currently i'm in esthetician school. in florida we don't have a separate medical / master esthetician license. i'm big on continuing education, ive also worked in the hospital as a cna so i have a lot of interest in the medical field. there are a few schools who offer medical esthetician courses ranging in price, i know one teaches advanced procedures and includes a phlebotomy license for things like prp. there are also schools for an electrologist license. wouldn't say i'm super into lasers but i would consider it if i found ample oppurtunity. id still like to work as a skin care specialist just with more advanced machines and practices, but i'm not sure how much experience i'd need and i worry about the cost of some courses and if they will yield actual employment in a medspa, derm office, etc. is anyone a florida esthitician in the medical side of things that has any advice on trying to get into it? did you try to seek employment from medical based places or did you slowly grow your skill set before applying and getting a job? i realize it's also a long term thing and i'd like to see what is out there ooourtunity wise before pursuing further schooling but i don't want to miss any oppurtunities early on that can give me an advantage. thanks!
submitted by teenyrabbitt to Esthetics [link] [comments]
2023.03.25 02:57 lostmaximoff BE A HOMOSSEXUAL: I CAN'T HOLD THE PAIN OF THIS SHIT NO MORE
Be a homossexual it's like screaming at the top of your lungs for help, for a hand, for affection, SCREAMING THAT YOU'RE NOT FINE, but absolutely NO ONE hears you. and no one cares about you. i need anyone, i need someone. it's so depressing to hear jokes, deep stares, questions, and being violated and need to hide who you are because of the world. the world is cruel. i'm from brazil, and you all don't know how much my country was infected by bolsonaro's ideology. being a homossexual on the post-bolsonaro government it's so fucking hard and depressed. i'll never understand why people hate us so much. i'm just trying to LIVE, I WANT TO **LIVE**!!!!!!!!
submitted by lostmaximoff to lgbt [link] [comments]
2023.03.25 02:56 sadbutmad__ Nintendo Switch
How much and where can I buy a nintendo switch? Preferably the cheapest deal but would also like to know if there are bundles available tyia
submitted by sadbutmad__ to Philippines [link] [comments]
2023.03.25 02:56 idreamofsheep31 competitions/ECs/etc
so, I'm a homeschooler. My ECs are pretty good (ballet, violin, orchestra, choir, all of which I've done or more than 3years, plus some volunteer work), but I'm looking at posts where students have done internships, won competitions, and/or been published in journals - and they still didn't get accepted to moderately presitgious colleges, let alone T20 colleges.
I think my background is pretty unique on an application, but I still feel like I should be applying to competitions or smth to boost my app more. So basically, should I do this? If so, does anyone have any recs for writing-oriented competitions that aren't Harvard crimson level prestigious? Thank you so much.
and one more question: exactly how much does applying to out of state colleges lower your chances? All of the colleges I want to go to are on the opposite side of the country, and I'm now seeing that this could significantly lower my changes of getting in, which is very discouraging.
submitted by idreamofsheep31 to ApplyingToCollege [link] [comments]
I think my background is pretty unique on an application, but I still feel like I should be applying to competitions or smth to boost my app more. So basically, should I do this? If so, does anyone have any recs for writing-oriented competitions that aren't Harvard crimson level prestigious? Thank you so much.
and one more question: exactly how much does applying to out of state colleges lower your chances? All of the colleges I want to go to are on the opposite side of the country, and I'm now seeing that this could significantly lower my changes of getting in, which is very discouraging.
2023.03.25 02:56 Censorship_sucks21 Organizing & maintaining digital photos & vids as a parent... Where do I start?!
Hi! Mom of 2 here (almost 6 & almost 2) & this question is for other parents who fill their phones w pics of their kids but have found a way to organize & maintain them.
I DESPERATELY need to overhaul my photo (video) system & have no idea where to start.
I'm an Android user w Google photos to back up 15 years worth of pictures & videos. I pay annually for storage & after my youngest was born in 2021 I had to increase from the $30/yr plan to the 2TB $100/yr plan. My issue tho isn't w storage or the cost. Its w how to efficiently utilize the space & effectively maintain it. Its w taking advantage of the ability to print & frame photos that turn out really good, instead of forgetting all about them bc they get lost in the mess.
I have no idea how many photos or videos I have. I'm using 200GB of 2TB & a good amount of that could be deleted. But how do I declutter it? I take pics & vids of my kids daily, multiple times daily, & they don't always turn out, & aren't worth keeping. But its not something I think about deleting in the moment so everyday the hoard just gets bigger & bigger.
I want to go through it all- to delete duplicates, blurry, out of focus, bad lighting pics, ones my 5yo took? Where do I start? Then there's the videos. How do I go through 5 years of videos- sonogram appts, delivery & births, all the newborn firsts, & separate them from the random daily videos that didn't turn out right? Try to get vid of the baby babbling but her sibling runs thru mid recording completely naked... Or the back to back videos trying to get something specific on camera but they don't cooperate. These videos become useless but since I didn't delete them in the moment I now have years worth. How do I go thru them? Decide what to keep & what to delete? Is it going to take the hours on end I imagine it will? How do I organize them once they're decluttered?
And then let's say I'm able to get them cleared out, organized in some fashion? How does one go about maintaining such a system? How do I ensure I won't just be in the same boat 5 years from now? At this point I feel I'm going to need to spend like a full weekend locked in a room alone w lines of 🎱 (jk) or some other speedy 💊 while me kids are asleep so I can focus & even then I know I'll just get distracted watching all the old videos that I'll still never get anything done.
Any help & suggestions are much appreciated.
submitted by Censorship_sucks21 to declutter [link] [comments]
I DESPERATELY need to overhaul my photo (video) system & have no idea where to start.
I'm an Android user w Google photos to back up 15 years worth of pictures & videos. I pay annually for storage & after my youngest was born in 2021 I had to increase from the $30/yr plan to the 2TB $100/yr plan. My issue tho isn't w storage or the cost. Its w how to efficiently utilize the space & effectively maintain it. Its w taking advantage of the ability to print & frame photos that turn out really good, instead of forgetting all about them bc they get lost in the mess.
I have no idea how many photos or videos I have. I'm using 200GB of 2TB & a good amount of that could be deleted. But how do I declutter it? I take pics & vids of my kids daily, multiple times daily, & they don't always turn out, & aren't worth keeping. But its not something I think about deleting in the moment so everyday the hoard just gets bigger & bigger.
I want to go through it all- to delete duplicates, blurry, out of focus, bad lighting pics, ones my 5yo took? Where do I start? Then there's the videos. How do I go through 5 years of videos- sonogram appts, delivery & births, all the newborn firsts, & separate them from the random daily videos that didn't turn out right? Try to get vid of the baby babbling but her sibling runs thru mid recording completely naked... Or the back to back videos trying to get something specific on camera but they don't cooperate. These videos become useless but since I didn't delete them in the moment I now have years worth. How do I go thru them? Decide what to keep & what to delete? Is it going to take the hours on end I imagine it will? How do I organize them once they're decluttered?
And then let's say I'm able to get them cleared out, organized in some fashion? How does one go about maintaining such a system? How do I ensure I won't just be in the same boat 5 years from now? At this point I feel I'm going to need to spend like a full weekend locked in a room alone w lines of 🎱 (jk) or some other speedy 💊 while me kids are asleep so I can focus & even then I know I'll just get distracted watching all the old videos that I'll still never get anything done.
Any help & suggestions are much appreciated.
2023.03.25 02:56 Ok-Journalist9511 A Simple-Minded Dog??
Hi Dog lovers!
Does anyone have experience with dogs that may be too simple-minded? My yorkie poo only wants to go outside and play fetch, and my husband and I somehow struggle to form a profound bond with him, to a point where I fear he wouldn't mind living with someone else as long as he gets plenty of playtime.
Some incidents: When we boarded him for a few days, he didn't seem to miss us. When I am sad or stressed, he doesn't seem to acknowledge my emotions and only wants me to throw balls at him. Doesn’t seem to feel remorse when doing things that we tell him not to do, such as chewing shoes, shredding toilet papers... Never growls at us, nor shows food aggression, nor has separation anxiety Doesn’t show a depth of emotions- just happiness only Doesn’t enjoy or beg to receive pets, snuggles, nor enjoy physical touch.
Here are some facts about my dog: 10-month-old Yorkie poo, male. Got him from a local breeder when he was 7 weeks old. Well socialized. Very confident with big dogs.
How we treat the dog: We take him out for a walk at least 1-2 hours a day. (45 min dog park, rest neighborhood walk) He is by himself around 2 hours Plenty of toys and snacks
submitted by Ok-Journalist9511 to dogs [link] [comments]
Does anyone have experience with dogs that may be too simple-minded? My yorkie poo only wants to go outside and play fetch, and my husband and I somehow struggle to form a profound bond with him, to a point where I fear he wouldn't mind living with someone else as long as he gets plenty of playtime.
Some incidents: When we boarded him for a few days, he didn't seem to miss us. When I am sad or stressed, he doesn't seem to acknowledge my emotions and only wants me to throw balls at him. Doesn’t seem to feel remorse when doing things that we tell him not to do, such as chewing shoes, shredding toilet papers... Never growls at us, nor shows food aggression, nor has separation anxiety Doesn’t show a depth of emotions- just happiness only Doesn’t enjoy or beg to receive pets, snuggles, nor enjoy physical touch.
Here are some facts about my dog: 10-month-old Yorkie poo, male. Got him from a local breeder when he was 7 weeks old. Well socialized. Very confident with big dogs.
How we treat the dog: We take him out for a walk at least 1-2 hours a day. (45 min dog park, rest neighborhood walk) He is by himself around 2 hours Plenty of toys and snacks
2023.03.25 02:56 Healthy-Opposite-504 i just got rejected
i was at my cousin’s birthday party when i started to get extremely bored and was craving love. so i created a tt account based on my crush and put all sorts of hints on this account about how much i like him. i put in the bio “u know who you are” and then preceded to purposefully comment and favourite on his tt vids. he then begins to wonder who this rlly was, we start chatting on tt messages and then after a while, i finally revealed who it was. All this time he had a gf. i see him on Monday. Help me
submitted by Healthy-Opposite-504 to u/Healthy-Opposite-504 [link] [comments]
2023.03.25 02:56 sacegoof Had 5th Interview Which Is Supposed To Be Final, But Was Told There May Be Another Onsite?
Been interviewing for a very big company. Not sure if I am getting the onsite... All of the interviews have been virtual so far.
I just had the "final interview" with the CEO through Zoom on Wednesday. Not too sure how it went. I'm always 50/50 and never get my hopes up. It is between me and another person.
At the end of the interview, the CEO told me I did good and that I should be coordinating to come in person and meet. He said I would be moving forward. But like I said, those are just words and I don't get my hopes up ever in these interviews after having gone through many. The recruiter did tell me before going in the interview that he may want to meet again but in person.
In any event though, what do you all think? My interview was two days ago and I have heard nothing yet. I know it's been two days, but it was pretty much the final interview so I am a little worried I didn't make the cut for the onsite. Should I wait it out until next week before thinking I got the axe? Or is this a normal timeline in the event they WERE coordinating an onsite?
submitted by sacegoof to recruitinghell [link] [comments]
I just had the "final interview" with the CEO through Zoom on Wednesday. Not too sure how it went. I'm always 50/50 and never get my hopes up. It is between me and another person.
At the end of the interview, the CEO told me I did good and that I should be coordinating to come in person and meet. He said I would be moving forward. But like I said, those are just words and I don't get my hopes up ever in these interviews after having gone through many. The recruiter did tell me before going in the interview that he may want to meet again but in person.
In any event though, what do you all think? My interview was two days ago and I have heard nothing yet. I know it's been two days, but it was pretty much the final interview so I am a little worried I didn't make the cut for the onsite. Should I wait it out until next week before thinking I got the axe? Or is this a normal timeline in the event they WERE coordinating an onsite?
2023.03.25 02:55 CKain08 Glass children and faking autism
TW : suicidal thoughts/self-harm
" Glass children are those who are growing up in a home where a sibling takes up a disproportionate amount of parental energy "
Well. Disclaimer : I am not a child, alright, I am 20. But I've been thinking a lot about the last 10 years of my life, and I am, as much as it pains me, a glass child and I've been since my sister's born.
I want to be heard, you do wathever you want with this post. Treat it like a AITA thingy if you want.
Now back to my sis, Of course, at first, it was (I thought) only because I was the first born, the big sis, you know.
But 3 years ago, my sister discovered Tik Tok. Everyone knows Tik Tok, right? Well, we all know what kind of stuff we can find on that app! I, myself, found the description of a "glass child" there. I use Tik Tok frequently.
My sister always had problems with her friends. When she was younger, she was always in the middle of some arguing between two or three girls, never really had a day where she wasn't coming home with what I call "girl's gangs" problems (you know when two best friends suddenly split and get mad and get other friends to form like alliances and stuff to b*tch on the others? Ya know, old stuff, we've all been there).
She was never wrong in those situations. She was coming home laughing about how she was the peacemaker and never creating problems of some sort. Thing is, I know my sister. Like the back of my hand. Alright? I just... know when she's lying. Still, to this day, she always brags about how good she is to manipulate people and make them do what she wants. Alrighty girl, weird flex.
Well, she got to high school (what we call secondary one in Canada), and then, she started having anxiety. Like panic attacks and all? I've had those, still do these days, so I understood. I became her protector, her therapist, calming her down when my mother critized her for exagerating. I knew what to do, and I gave up all my energy to take care of her, of her mental health, as a good old sister does.
She made it to the second year of high school (secondary 2) with difficulties. Panic attacks again and all. 3 years ago, as I said, she discovered Tik Tok. I know Tik Tok and its algorithm : there are specific fyp where you can find videos about the same topic over and over again. I suspect she was in a dark side of Tik Tok, a depressed one, where you can see all sort of sad/depressing things and stories (I know, I've been there too, now trying to avoid it as much as I can because it affects me mentally and I start spiralling).
Cutting her hair short ( I guess the "funny mentally hill" trend where you cut your hair on a headbutt and dye it, I know, been there too).
Sexuality explored too. Like she was trans for a while and wanted us to call her another name (she isn't anymore, she told me so about 3 months in). I always respected her choices and calling her what she wanted to be called at that time. She was a kid, she was 13, so she was discovering herself and her preferences and all. No problem with that.
She started hanging out with some people like that too. She had a non-binary friend, a trans one, a furry one, etc. She was having fun with them. Great people. She finally had a group.
Some of them, however, had the same experiences we all hear about on Tik Tok. You know, some of them not in a great home, or in a bad relationship with parents, depression, anxiety. Hate to say it, but you know those people on Tik Tok who (unfortunatly) are bullied on the internet for being... like... huuuuh (wondering how to say that without insulting anyone) like stereotypical? Like... you know those who wants a cat litter in a classroom in a unironical way? Some of her friend were a little extremist on that plan. Again, never really bothered me.
We have two parents, a mom and a dad. They divorced when I was 7. My sister was 3. They never fought in front of us, never heard them, it was really a suprise. They went their separate ways. Me and my sis got used to go to each of them for a week, and then go back to the other for a week. It was fine, working good. My parents are both accountants, my mom teaching it too. I had a strong disagreement with my mom in 2019 about one of her (numerous) boyfriends. The only one i really hated with all my heart. This resulted in me leaving her house for about a year. My sis was still doing 1 week/1 week. Apart of that, my parents are pretty basic ones, never abused us and we always had everything we needed.
I started college. I loved it, still do, and was finally starting my life as an adult, I started a great job, was doing good in school and... was still helping my sister and my parents with her anxiety/ panic attacks. Even learn in my degree how to deal with people who disorganize.
Then, the cutting started. A lot of her friend were doing it, she told me. And then she started having those episodes where she was cutting herself. Never with something sharp, like a knife or else. But with like compass and crayons? Then, she started having suicidal thoughts. Then, and that is where it all went down, she called 911 for suicidal thoughts. She was home alone and the police called my mom.
What had she done? Scratch herself... with a pencil.
I've had panic attacks before. And suicidal thoughts that crossed my mind but I never acted on them. Never. And I can't imagine myself doing it. I talked about it, of course, with my best friend, someone I trusted and it was making me feel better. How did I know my sister was doing that and having those thoughts? She just said it, casually, at dinner with the whole family. Like... girl? It really got the mood down, everyone worried and she was like... glowing? I don't know how to say it.
She was always a bit dramatic and had a way of making everything about herself, but it was never about negative things. More like flexing a good grade or whatever. She was always talking about how depressed she was, how she was suicidal, and the things she was saying were... like straight up a depressing tik tok. Like one day I found something she said ( I think it was like "you don't understand how this feels it is like blablabla i don't remember) WORD FOR WORD in a Tik Tok. It is like she wasn't expressing her feelings, but made up phrases you find on the Internet when you type "panic attacks" or "depression".
After a second call to 911 for taking 10 advils, she got admitted to psychiatry. At that time, I was watching my parents fall appart, running around to appointments for her, my dad having stress acnea (at 45) and both of them exhausted. It was a real drama. Everyone in the family talked about it. It was the only subject of discussion, the only thing that was on everyone's mind.
I was hanging out my seat in class with my phone on my belly to be sure to feel it vibrate if something happened. We were all in a bad place.
And then, we got a diagnosis of autism.
I'm sorry, what? Where does that come from? I mean, alright, we'll deal with that one.
But then. That's where all went down for me. Sis started therapy, changed school, went to an adapted classroom for people like her and with disabilities. My parents were still all over the place.
Except where I needed them.
I was 18, at that time, starting adulthood. I have ADHD. It is really hard for me to respect a schedule, think about every appointments I have, every homework, every luggage I can't forget to bring to mom's or to dad's. I was also giving my all in school, never missed anything, straight A's and working my ass off.
I started realising that everytime my parents texted me was to ask/talk about my sis.
Every. Single. Time.
They'd ask me to bring my sister her lunch that she forgot, to go get her when she was down, or get her to her appointments like I didn't have a whole fu**ing life I was trying so hard to keep on line.
I gave all my free time to her needs and my parents's. I educated myself on autism, defended her when my mom was thinking she was faking because I wanted to prove I was there for her. That I was the life saving good sister. I never, ever, heard her say thank you.
Never.
The only compliments my parents were giving me is "thank you for getting your sis for us. Thank you for being there for her. Thank you for doing things with her."
I went trough some stuff, at that time. I hurt my knee and was failing my physical tests. It got to the point I wasn't even sure I liked my degree anymore. I was having a really hard time. But my parents never saw my pain. I have a tendency to hide things, sure, but I was really trying to talk to them about how I was feeling. They were listening, and letting go. Why didn't they start worrying for me like they did for my sister? I don't know, don't really care now. I was having suicidal thoughts too, I wanted to yeet myself in a tree and even stopped driving so it wouldn't give me options. They left me alone, because everytime I tried bringing up the fact that I was not in a good place, my sister was disorganizing at school and they needed to go to the hospital to be both there for her while she fainted from hyperventilating. Every fcking time I was talking to my sister, she was acting like she lived trough everything and was telling me she knew more about suicidal thoughts than me cause she went to psychiatry. Excuse me miss gurl, but who was fcking there to help you trough your panic attacks hun? How do you think I know so much?
Seeing I had practically no support from my already exhausted parents, I took matters into my own hands and started going to therapy. My doctor also prescribed me with anti-depressants. I was going to be ok... on my own. I've had really bad days, real hard ones. But I got back on my two feet. At least, I think so.
School was over and it was time for summer break. I had a job I loved on a boat. I've had a blast on that boat, I wasn't jumping from a house to another, I wasn't always in luggages, I had my own room like a little appartment of my own on the ship. I slowly started to discover a backpacking/adventurous side of myself. I needed air, was travelling far from home as soon as I had a week or two off of the boat.
At the same time, my sister had stopped self-harming and having suicidal thoughts. She's was now in a school for adults to finish her 4th and 5th year of college. She wasn't in a special classroom anymore. Changed friend group.
But here's the thing. Cause there is always a "but".
I started realising how much my sister was toying with us, with my parents. As soon as the diagnosis fell, she became unsufferable. For example, when I say I hate loud noises and strong light, she says she has it tougher because, ya know, "i'm autistic". I can't say something without her saying she has autism and that's why she has it worse.
When I have a good grade or I've hit a PR at the gym, I tell my parents because I am happy. I try to see life the good way, now. I'm quite proud of all the personal work i've done.
But she can't have a normal day.
It is always "ho I hated school because the light was making a sound" or something to point out she has autism.
I talked to one of my friend who is a social worker, and he told me autism is usually apparent in children. My sis was diagnosed at 15. But, and hear me out, all the things that make her autistic according to her psychiatrist... she's never really had them before.
You remember at the beginning of this rant how I told you I know when my sister is lying?
Well. I don't think an autistic person possess the flex of "being able to manipulate people so easily to get what you want".
She's always bragging about how smart she is compared to us because, you know, "ShE cAn FeElS eNeRgiEs AnD pEoPlE AnD iT AfFeCts hEr". Well, honey, I don't think that is autism. It is always little comment about how special she is because she can't do this, or that. Like I have ADHD, alright? I'm stimming all the time. I don't point it out to people for fun, actually, i'm quite ashamed of it sometimes. She bought all those fidget toys and brings them ALL to school to show how much she needs them.
One reason of why I am mad, as you can (unfortunatly) see, is my father's attitude.
The fact that my sis had episodes of suicidal thoughts and acts traumatized him. With reasons, don't get me wrong.
But now, she's clearly living well of drama and stereotypical behavior she never had before.
My father is fucking afraid of telling her no.
Like man, I don't think that if you ask her to unload the dishwasher ONE FUCKI*NG time that she's going to kill herself. Like come on.
One time, she called him cause she fainted cause she was hyperventilating cause the cleaner at her school wore a different hat than usual. Or another time where she learn that two teachers were eating togueter at lunch and not in the cafeteria?
I know my sister. She is clearly using him. She's got him hooked with a silent threat of hurting herself or making it impossible for him to receive a phone call without thinking she committed.
And. She. Fucking. Knows. It.
She left my mother's house because my mom wasn't buying her shit.
She left with all her drama about how she could appologize but she needs her space to think about what she (mom) did.
BRUH did what?!?!?!? It was so sudden, what are you on about?
All her life, she was good at one thing : breaking people's relationship.
I know, because I'm not blind.
She's the type of person that looks at you after saying your deepest secret in front of everyone and be like : "oups teehee🤪 you know i can't keep a secret" or she plays dumb "i didn't know it was a secret oupsis" with this little dumb face that I know by heart means "I win you fuck*ng idiot".
She broke the good relationship my parents had by pretending mom told her something when it wasn't right or vice versa. When she's at dad's, she always talks about all the things mom does that sucks. When she was at mom, she was always talking about how bad it was at dad.
I was in the middle like , bruh, it isn't even that bad. And of course, my parents both being proud individuals started feeling supperior than the other and downgrading the other in front of us (wich you know my sis was repeating over and over to everyone).
But because my parents are fucking blind they let her riled them up against each others. So now they don't talk. And when they do, it is always to argue about how to take care of my sis.
To make a clear example of how she gets everything she wants :
She always tells me that she wants a Mira dog. Like a service dog. She's going to keep creating dramatic scenarios like that until my father cries and decides it is the last option we have.
But no. After the dog, it is going to be another need for neurodivergent people that she's probably going to see on Tik Tok.
Because yes, she faints and yes, she is hyperventilating. But I can create scenario in my head and make them real too (maladaptive daydreaming oups). Anxiety works like that : if I start hyperventilating for 45 seconds, my body jumps to survival mode and the mammoth thing ang boom, there you have your panic attack.
Yes. She is mentally hill.
But she's not autistic. She does not need a service dog. And she can't continue leading people on like that.
She's in need of negative attention. She hates when we compliment her, she hates when we wish her happy brithday and all. But she's always talking about how she did bad at this exam and ho people please comfort me. There's always something going on with her.
She stopped self-harming and having suicidal toughts. People started living normally.
So she restarts panic attacks but she already has a psychiatrist so she needs more.
Lets go to the hospital, something's wrong with my heart. Then she's got the pleasure of walking around school with a machine to record her heart thingy.
Nope. Nothing wrong.
People start forgetting.
Whoops now she's fainting and we don't know why.
Hospital trip yeah.
Nothing's wrong.
Then she buys a machine to keep track of her blood pressure.
Does a doctor prescribed it?
Nope. You can just buy it so she did. And she could do it like in the morning, at lunch or at night, but no, she absolutly needs to do it in front of everyone, making noise in class while the teacher is talking.
And i'm starting to get fed up.
About a year into this nightmare, 3 years ago, I stopped feeling.
I wasn't able to feel anything. And that is why, today, I can write this and unfortunatly for some, it will be controversial.
After my downfall, when my sister was in need...
I did not care.
At all.
She could do whatever she wanted to do. She could have as much trip to the hospital as she wanted.
I . Did . Not . Care .
I was going to class.
And my phone was on silent.
I don't want to know. I don't care. Don't you get it? Mom, dad, leave me alone. You did it well, right? Continue.
I am an horrible human being. My best friend tries to comfort me saying that my heart of stone is a form of self-protection, a defense mechanism that I developped 3 years to protect myself and not live trough what my sister put us trough without knowing (or caring?).
Still.
I am an egoist.
But I do not care.
You want to make me feel like a glass child?
Alright alright.
I'll deal with it.
But now the glass is fed up.
And it is about to break.
Good bye and thank you.
submitted by CKain08 to DysfunctionalFamily [link] [comments]
" Glass children are those who are growing up in a home where a sibling takes up a disproportionate amount of parental energy "
Well. Disclaimer : I am not a child, alright, I am 20. But I've been thinking a lot about the last 10 years of my life, and I am, as much as it pains me, a glass child and I've been since my sister's born.
I want to be heard, you do wathever you want with this post. Treat it like a AITA thingy if you want.
Now back to my sis, Of course, at first, it was (I thought) only because I was the first born, the big sis, you know.
But 3 years ago, my sister discovered Tik Tok. Everyone knows Tik Tok, right? Well, we all know what kind of stuff we can find on that app! I, myself, found the description of a "glass child" there. I use Tik Tok frequently.
My sister always had problems with her friends. When she was younger, she was always in the middle of some arguing between two or three girls, never really had a day where she wasn't coming home with what I call "girl's gangs" problems (you know when two best friends suddenly split and get mad and get other friends to form like alliances and stuff to b*tch on the others? Ya know, old stuff, we've all been there).
She was never wrong in those situations. She was coming home laughing about how she was the peacemaker and never creating problems of some sort. Thing is, I know my sister. Like the back of my hand. Alright? I just... know when she's lying. Still, to this day, she always brags about how good she is to manipulate people and make them do what she wants. Alrighty girl, weird flex.
Well, she got to high school (what we call secondary one in Canada), and then, she started having anxiety. Like panic attacks and all? I've had those, still do these days, so I understood. I became her protector, her therapist, calming her down when my mother critized her for exagerating. I knew what to do, and I gave up all my energy to take care of her, of her mental health, as a good old sister does.
She made it to the second year of high school (secondary 2) with difficulties. Panic attacks again and all. 3 years ago, as I said, she discovered Tik Tok. I know Tik Tok and its algorithm : there are specific fyp where you can find videos about the same topic over and over again. I suspect she was in a dark side of Tik Tok, a depressed one, where you can see all sort of sad/depressing things and stories (I know, I've been there too, now trying to avoid it as much as I can because it affects me mentally and I start spiralling).
Cutting her hair short ( I guess the "funny mentally hill" trend where you cut your hair on a headbutt and dye it, I know, been there too).
Sexuality explored too. Like she was trans for a while and wanted us to call her another name (she isn't anymore, she told me so about 3 months in). I always respected her choices and calling her what she wanted to be called at that time. She was a kid, she was 13, so she was discovering herself and her preferences and all. No problem with that.
She started hanging out with some people like that too. She had a non-binary friend, a trans one, a furry one, etc. She was having fun with them. Great people. She finally had a group.
Some of them, however, had the same experiences we all hear about on Tik Tok. You know, some of them not in a great home, or in a bad relationship with parents, depression, anxiety. Hate to say it, but you know those people on Tik Tok who (unfortunatly) are bullied on the internet for being... like... huuuuh (wondering how to say that without insulting anyone) like stereotypical? Like... you know those who wants a cat litter in a classroom in a unironical way? Some of her friend were a little extremist on that plan. Again, never really bothered me.
We have two parents, a mom and a dad. They divorced when I was 7. My sister was 3. They never fought in front of us, never heard them, it was really a suprise. They went their separate ways. Me and my sis got used to go to each of them for a week, and then go back to the other for a week. It was fine, working good. My parents are both accountants, my mom teaching it too. I had a strong disagreement with my mom in 2019 about one of her (numerous) boyfriends. The only one i really hated with all my heart. This resulted in me leaving her house for about a year. My sis was still doing 1 week/1 week. Apart of that, my parents are pretty basic ones, never abused us and we always had everything we needed.
I started college. I loved it, still do, and was finally starting my life as an adult, I started a great job, was doing good in school and... was still helping my sister and my parents with her anxiety/ panic attacks. Even learn in my degree how to deal with people who disorganize.
Then, the cutting started. A lot of her friend were doing it, she told me. And then she started having those episodes where she was cutting herself. Never with something sharp, like a knife or else. But with like compass and crayons? Then, she started having suicidal thoughts. Then, and that is where it all went down, she called 911 for suicidal thoughts. She was home alone and the police called my mom.
What had she done? Scratch herself... with a pencil.
I've had panic attacks before. And suicidal thoughts that crossed my mind but I never acted on them. Never. And I can't imagine myself doing it. I talked about it, of course, with my best friend, someone I trusted and it was making me feel better. How did I know my sister was doing that and having those thoughts? She just said it, casually, at dinner with the whole family. Like... girl? It really got the mood down, everyone worried and she was like... glowing? I don't know how to say it.
She was always a bit dramatic and had a way of making everything about herself, but it was never about negative things. More like flexing a good grade or whatever. She was always talking about how depressed she was, how she was suicidal, and the things she was saying were... like straight up a depressing tik tok. Like one day I found something she said ( I think it was like "you don't understand how this feels it is like blablabla i don't remember) WORD FOR WORD in a Tik Tok. It is like she wasn't expressing her feelings, but made up phrases you find on the Internet when you type "panic attacks" or "depression".
After a second call to 911 for taking 10 advils, she got admitted to psychiatry. At that time, I was watching my parents fall appart, running around to appointments for her, my dad having stress acnea (at 45) and both of them exhausted. It was a real drama. Everyone in the family talked about it. It was the only subject of discussion, the only thing that was on everyone's mind.
I was hanging out my seat in class with my phone on my belly to be sure to feel it vibrate if something happened. We were all in a bad place.
And then, we got a diagnosis of autism.
I'm sorry, what? Where does that come from? I mean, alright, we'll deal with that one.
But then. That's where all went down for me. Sis started therapy, changed school, went to an adapted classroom for people like her and with disabilities. My parents were still all over the place.
Except where I needed them.
I was 18, at that time, starting adulthood. I have ADHD. It is really hard for me to respect a schedule, think about every appointments I have, every homework, every luggage I can't forget to bring to mom's or to dad's. I was also giving my all in school, never missed anything, straight A's and working my ass off.
I started realising that everytime my parents texted me was to ask/talk about my sis.
Every. Single. Time.
They'd ask me to bring my sister her lunch that she forgot, to go get her when she was down, or get her to her appointments like I didn't have a whole fu**ing life I was trying so hard to keep on line.
I gave all my free time to her needs and my parents's. I educated myself on autism, defended her when my mom was thinking she was faking because I wanted to prove I was there for her. That I was the life saving good sister. I never, ever, heard her say thank you.
Never.
The only compliments my parents were giving me is "thank you for getting your sis for us. Thank you for being there for her. Thank you for doing things with her."
I went trough some stuff, at that time. I hurt my knee and was failing my physical tests. It got to the point I wasn't even sure I liked my degree anymore. I was having a really hard time. But my parents never saw my pain. I have a tendency to hide things, sure, but I was really trying to talk to them about how I was feeling. They were listening, and letting go. Why didn't they start worrying for me like they did for my sister? I don't know, don't really care now. I was having suicidal thoughts too, I wanted to yeet myself in a tree and even stopped driving so it wouldn't give me options. They left me alone, because everytime I tried bringing up the fact that I was not in a good place, my sister was disorganizing at school and they needed to go to the hospital to be both there for her while she fainted from hyperventilating. Every fcking time I was talking to my sister, she was acting like she lived trough everything and was telling me she knew more about suicidal thoughts than me cause she went to psychiatry. Excuse me miss gurl, but who was fcking there to help you trough your panic attacks hun? How do you think I know so much?
Seeing I had practically no support from my already exhausted parents, I took matters into my own hands and started going to therapy. My doctor also prescribed me with anti-depressants. I was going to be ok... on my own. I've had really bad days, real hard ones. But I got back on my two feet. At least, I think so.
School was over and it was time for summer break. I had a job I loved on a boat. I've had a blast on that boat, I wasn't jumping from a house to another, I wasn't always in luggages, I had my own room like a little appartment of my own on the ship. I slowly started to discover a backpacking/adventurous side of myself. I needed air, was travelling far from home as soon as I had a week or two off of the boat.
At the same time, my sister had stopped self-harming and having suicidal thoughts. She's was now in a school for adults to finish her 4th and 5th year of college. She wasn't in a special classroom anymore. Changed friend group.
But here's the thing. Cause there is always a "but".
I started realising how much my sister was toying with us, with my parents. As soon as the diagnosis fell, she became unsufferable. For example, when I say I hate loud noises and strong light, she says she has it tougher because, ya know, "i'm autistic". I can't say something without her saying she has autism and that's why she has it worse.
When I have a good grade or I've hit a PR at the gym, I tell my parents because I am happy. I try to see life the good way, now. I'm quite proud of all the personal work i've done.
But she can't have a normal day.
It is always "ho I hated school because the light was making a sound" or something to point out she has autism.
I talked to one of my friend who is a social worker, and he told me autism is usually apparent in children. My sis was diagnosed at 15. But, and hear me out, all the things that make her autistic according to her psychiatrist... she's never really had them before.
You remember at the beginning of this rant how I told you I know when my sister is lying?
Well. I don't think an autistic person possess the flex of "being able to manipulate people so easily to get what you want".
She's always bragging about how smart she is compared to us because, you know, "ShE cAn FeElS eNeRgiEs AnD pEoPlE AnD iT AfFeCts hEr". Well, honey, I don't think that is autism. It is always little comment about how special she is because she can't do this, or that. Like I have ADHD, alright? I'm stimming all the time. I don't point it out to people for fun, actually, i'm quite ashamed of it sometimes. She bought all those fidget toys and brings them ALL to school to show how much she needs them.
One reason of why I am mad, as you can (unfortunatly) see, is my father's attitude.
The fact that my sis had episodes of suicidal thoughts and acts traumatized him. With reasons, don't get me wrong.
But now, she's clearly living well of drama and stereotypical behavior she never had before.
My father is fucking afraid of telling her no.
Like man, I don't think that if you ask her to unload the dishwasher ONE FUCKI*NG time that she's going to kill herself. Like come on.
One time, she called him cause she fainted cause she was hyperventilating cause the cleaner at her school wore a different hat than usual. Or another time where she learn that two teachers were eating togueter at lunch and not in the cafeteria?
I know my sister. She is clearly using him. She's got him hooked with a silent threat of hurting herself or making it impossible for him to receive a phone call without thinking she committed.
And. She. Fucking. Knows. It.
She left my mother's house because my mom wasn't buying her shit.
She left with all her drama about how she could appologize but she needs her space to think about what she (mom) did.
BRUH did what?!?!?!? It was so sudden, what are you on about?
All her life, she was good at one thing : breaking people's relationship.
I know, because I'm not blind.
She's the type of person that looks at you after saying your deepest secret in front of everyone and be like : "oups teehee🤪 you know i can't keep a secret" or she plays dumb "i didn't know it was a secret oupsis" with this little dumb face that I know by heart means "I win you fuck*ng idiot".
She broke the good relationship my parents had by pretending mom told her something when it wasn't right or vice versa. When she's at dad's, she always talks about all the things mom does that sucks. When she was at mom, she was always talking about how bad it was at dad.
I was in the middle like , bruh, it isn't even that bad. And of course, my parents both being proud individuals started feeling supperior than the other and downgrading the other in front of us (wich you know my sis was repeating over and over to everyone).
But because my parents are fucking blind they let her riled them up against each others. So now they don't talk. And when they do, it is always to argue about how to take care of my sis.
To make a clear example of how she gets everything she wants :
She always tells me that she wants a Mira dog. Like a service dog. She's going to keep creating dramatic scenarios like that until my father cries and decides it is the last option we have.
But no. After the dog, it is going to be another need for neurodivergent people that she's probably going to see on Tik Tok.
Because yes, she faints and yes, she is hyperventilating. But I can create scenario in my head and make them real too (maladaptive daydreaming oups). Anxiety works like that : if I start hyperventilating for 45 seconds, my body jumps to survival mode and the mammoth thing ang boom, there you have your panic attack.
Yes. She is mentally hill.
But she's not autistic. She does not need a service dog. And she can't continue leading people on like that.
She's in need of negative attention. She hates when we compliment her, she hates when we wish her happy brithday and all. But she's always talking about how she did bad at this exam and ho people please comfort me. There's always something going on with her.
She stopped self-harming and having suicidal toughts. People started living normally.
So she restarts panic attacks but she already has a psychiatrist so she needs more.
Lets go to the hospital, something's wrong with my heart. Then she's got the pleasure of walking around school with a machine to record her heart thingy.
Nope. Nothing wrong.
People start forgetting.
Whoops now she's fainting and we don't know why.
Hospital trip yeah.
Nothing's wrong.
Then she buys a machine to keep track of her blood pressure.
Does a doctor prescribed it?
Nope. You can just buy it so she did. And she could do it like in the morning, at lunch or at night, but no, she absolutly needs to do it in front of everyone, making noise in class while the teacher is talking.
And i'm starting to get fed up.
About a year into this nightmare, 3 years ago, I stopped feeling.
I wasn't able to feel anything. And that is why, today, I can write this and unfortunatly for some, it will be controversial.
After my downfall, when my sister was in need...
I did not care.
At all.
She could do whatever she wanted to do. She could have as much trip to the hospital as she wanted.
I . Did . Not . Care .
I was going to class.
And my phone was on silent.
I don't want to know. I don't care. Don't you get it? Mom, dad, leave me alone. You did it well, right? Continue.
I am an horrible human being. My best friend tries to comfort me saying that my heart of stone is a form of self-protection, a defense mechanism that I developped 3 years to protect myself and not live trough what my sister put us trough without knowing (or caring?).
Still.
I am an egoist.
But I do not care.
You want to make me feel like a glass child?
Alright alright.
I'll deal with it.
But now the glass is fed up.
And it is about to break.
Good bye and thank you.
2023.03.25 02:55 Ratio01 [Walt Disney World] 3/21-3/23 Trip Report (Cosmic Rewind)
I took a family trip to Disney World for Spring Break and it actually went really great. Nearly every aspect went perfectly, weather was largely fantastic, my party got a lot done, and there were even a couple big surprises.
To keep things organized, I'll go park by park
We tried getting a VQ for Tron but unfortunately failed at both 7am and 1pm. The new credit will have to wait for another day.
The best part of the day however was
The general consensus seems to be that Conga is the best song for the ride. I got One Way or Another on my first ride, which was still pretty good.
Oh yeah, but some miracle of the coaster gods we got two rides of Cosmic Rewind, managing to land a VQ spot aftef the 1pm refresh. We got Disco Infero for that ride, which I think was slightly worse than One Way or Another but still a good pick.
Thankfully, the themepark gods were benevolent and not only made my brother the revel spy on Star Tours, but also gave us a 20 minute wait for Rise at 4:30pm, despite the posted wait time being well over an hour. To be clear, that was 20 minutes to the Rey pre-show, we still had to wait another 10 minutes to get the interrogation room, and got held back for another 10 minutes due to technical errors. But, even still, the entire thing, from us entering the queue to exiting the ride, was exactly an hour, which is just fantastic for Rise.
After that we watched Muppetvision, ended the day with Fantasmic, and my brother and I used our second Tower of Terror Lightning Lane to close out the trip with an encore..
In all, a great trip, with the only real downers being not getting on Tron, Rock'n being closed, Slinky breaking, and Hollywood Studios just being a hot day, but even thing the only thing I got genuinely upset by was Slinky breaking. I also bought some merch on my way out; a Hades hoodie, some Spider-Man pins, and a Hatbox Ghost figpin.
I don't know when I'll be visiting Disney World again but this was a damn good visit to hold me over til then. This was my first time visiting WDW not part of a multi-family party in over 2 years and it made me realize just how much I love these parks when 8+ people aren't trying to plan a day that needs to accommodate for a toddler.
submitted by Ratio01 to rollercoasters [link] [comments]
To keep things organized, I'll go park by park
Magic Kingdom
On Tuesday we did Magic Kingdom. For this day, we decided to try out the Genie+ system for the first time, and, regrettably, it was really useful. I absolutely hate that a once free skip the line system is now paid and more restrictive in terms of how many fast passes you can book, but even with that Genie+ saved us a lot of time. We managed to snag times for the two Mountains, Huanted Mansion, and Jungle Cruise, and waited Stand By for Pirates, Seven Dwarves, and did a grand circle tour of WDW Railroad first time upon enter. Even the lines we did wait through were fairly manageable, with Pirates being 45 and Seven Dwarves being 90.We tried getting a VQ for Tron but unfortunately failed at both 7am and 1pm. The new credit will have to wait for another day.
Epcot
On Wednesday we did Epccot and this was by far the most lucrative day. Instead of doing Genie+, we chose to buy and individual Lightning Lane for Cosmic Rewind. I feel that was the best move cause the wait times were honestly really good, even Frozen and Ratatouille never extended past the 70min mark. We got a lot done that day, even getting near walk ons for Spaceship Earth and Soarin (and Living With the Land but peak is always a station wait at most).The best part of the day however was
Credit 58: Cosmic Rewind
Instead of leaving it up to chance, we bit the bullet for Cosmic Rewind and bought individual Lightning Lanes and, man, I'm glad we did. This ride is fucking amazing. I'm still on the fence of if it tops Everest as my favorite WDW coaster, but if I decide it does I'm glad it's this one. While light on air time, everything else of the ride is so good that I honestly don't mind. The theming is engaging and clever, the on board audio is perfect, the layout is really fun and there were even moments of surprising strong positives. I've been waiting to get a ride on this for well over a year and it blew my expectations out of the water.The general consensus seems to be that Conga is the best song for the ride. I got One Way or Another on my first ride, which was still pretty good.
Oh yeah, but some miracle of the coaster gods we got two rides of Cosmic Rewind, managing to land a VQ spot aftef the 1pm refresh. We got Disco Infero for that ride, which I think was slightly worse than One Way or Another but still a good pick.
Hollywood Studios
The final day of the trip was Hollywood Studios, which was definitely the most mixed day. We did Genie+ this day, which worked put great. We landed times for Tower of Terror (twice), Runaway Railway, Toy Story Mania Smuggler's Run, and Beauty and the Beast. What we did not snag a time for was Slinky, which I very much wish we did. With a posted wait time of 90min, we ended up waiting 2 hours due to the ride breaking when we were just a couple switchbacks away from boarding. Waiting through a 90min + 15min break down for the most mid ride in the entire resort is not sonething I'd wish on my worst enemy.Thankfully, the themepark gods were benevolent and not only made my brother the revel spy on Star Tours, but also gave us a 20 minute wait for Rise at 4:30pm, despite the posted wait time being well over an hour. To be clear, that was 20 minutes to the Rey pre-show, we still had to wait another 10 minutes to get the interrogation room, and got held back for another 10 minutes due to technical errors. But, even still, the entire thing, from us entering the queue to exiting the ride, was exactly an hour, which is just fantastic for Rise.
After that we watched Muppetvision, ended the day with Fantasmic, and my brother and I used our second Tower of Terror Lightning Lane to close out the trip with an encore..
In all, a great trip, with the only real downers being not getting on Tron, Rock'n being closed, Slinky breaking, and Hollywood Studios just being a hot day, but even thing the only thing I got genuinely upset by was Slinky breaking. I also bought some merch on my way out; a Hades hoodie, some Spider-Man pins, and a Hatbox Ghost figpin.
I don't know when I'll be visiting Disney World again but this was a damn good visit to hold me over til then. This was my first time visiting WDW not part of a multi-family party in over 2 years and it made me realize just how much I love these parks when 8+ people aren't trying to plan a day that needs to accommodate for a toddler.
2023.03.25 02:55 StepwiseUndrape574 GTA 6 Still AWOL, But Rockstar Announces Big Updates For GTA Online And Red Dead Online
Grand Theft Auto 6 (GTA 6) is an elusive beast that has eluded [official] detection for years. The current “big dog” Grand Theft Auto V was first released way back in September 2013, and has been available across two console generations (Xbox 360/PS3 and Xbox One/PS4). It will even be available natively on next-generation Xbox Series X and PlayStation 5 consoles, which is quite unprecedented in the gaming realm. So, while Rockstar seems reticent to just letting us wait in agony for any news on GTA 6, it is at least giving us some new updates on its two current hot properties: GTA Online and Red Dead Online.
In the case of the incredibly popular (and highly lucrative) GTA Online, Rockstar says that a big “summer update” is coming for gamers with a “fun mix of diverse” content to partake in. Even more interesting is the fact that the developers indicate that its “biggest update ever” is coming before the end of 2020. That update will include new Heists that will take place in a completely new location, which has definitely piqued our interests.
red dead online As for Red Dead Online, its next big update is actually arriving next week; on July 28th to be exact. Red Dead Online hasn’t exactly been teaming with new content, as the last big update for the online component of Red Dead Redemption 2 dropped way back in December 2019. However, Rockstar is promising a new Frontier Pursuit mode with a focus on “naturalism” and a new battle pass-type component, which is conveniently named Outlaw Pass. Finally, Rockstar says that it has addressed tons of bugs with the game and has taken community feedback to heart with this release, which is definitely appreciated.
In addition to the game updates on the way, Rockstar also took the time to address the well-being of its online communities. “We are also committed to ensuring that our games are fun for everyone and as safe as possible from modders, cheaters, hackers, and those who seek to harass other players,” said the company in its blog post.
“So far this year, we have taken action on hundreds of thousands of players caught violating community rules across both games. Please help us keep our communities safe and fun by reporting any sort of cheating either directly in-game or via our dedicated web reporting tools for both Red Dead Online and GTA Online.”
It's good to see that Rockstar is cracking down on those looking to spoil the fun for everyone, and its methods for “taking out” such offenders is among the best in the industry.
submitted by StepwiseUndrape574 to gta5moddedoutfits_ [link] [comments]
In the case of the incredibly popular (and highly lucrative) GTA Online, Rockstar says that a big “summer update” is coming for gamers with a “fun mix of diverse” content to partake in. Even more interesting is the fact that the developers indicate that its “biggest update ever” is coming before the end of 2020. That update will include new Heists that will take place in a completely new location, which has definitely piqued our interests.
red dead online As for Red Dead Online, its next big update is actually arriving next week; on July 28th to be exact. Red Dead Online hasn’t exactly been teaming with new content, as the last big update for the online component of Red Dead Redemption 2 dropped way back in December 2019. However, Rockstar is promising a new Frontier Pursuit mode with a focus on “naturalism” and a new battle pass-type component, which is conveniently named Outlaw Pass. Finally, Rockstar says that it has addressed tons of bugs with the game and has taken community feedback to heart with this release, which is definitely appreciated.
In addition to the game updates on the way, Rockstar also took the time to address the well-being of its online communities. “We are also committed to ensuring that our games are fun for everyone and as safe as possible from modders, cheaters, hackers, and those who seek to harass other players,” said the company in its blog post.
“So far this year, we have taken action on hundreds of thousands of players caught violating community rules across both games. Please help us keep our communities safe and fun by reporting any sort of cheating either directly in-game or via our dedicated web reporting tools for both Red Dead Online and GTA Online.”
It's good to see that Rockstar is cracking down on those looking to spoil the fun for everyone, and its methods for “taking out” such offenders is among the best in the industry.
2023.03.25 02:54 tpaw202dm I broke up with her 6 weeks ago, no contact since, I just need to get my thoughts and reflections out into the world.
First Break Up List (2 months)
>> personal interests and hobbies mismatch, it sucks for me to still be making plans on my own, the crossover between our interests do not need to be 100% but some bleed would be great
>> apartment with pinky/pinky and the whole pinky thing needs to be discussed it’s off-putting
>> remember when I mentioned routine and habits, I struggle with change, and wasn’t happy about breaking routine, not your fault
Second Break-Up Reasons (10 months)
submitted by tpaw202dm to ExNoContact [link] [comments]
>> personal interests and hobbies mismatch, it sucks for me to still be making plans on my own, the crossover between our interests do not need to be 100% but some bleed would be great
>> apartment with pinky/pinky and the whole pinky thing needs to be discussed it’s off-putting
>> remember when I mentioned routine and habits, I struggle with change, and wasn’t happy about breaking routine, not your fault
Second Break-Up Reasons (10 months)
- These are actually very closely aligned to the above.
- Personal Interests
- She was very much a homebody and didn’t enjoy being social.
- We did align here but she lacked goals
- She had goals that focused on school but nothing in her personal life, there were no hobbies or interests she spent time pursuing.
- Our activities together were pretty standard in terms of relationships and things you do around town. We did museums, shows, dancing, etc. During our days together we sometimes didn’t see eye to eye on how to spend our time together.
- Our date nights were always great but followed the same routine. Community events and dinners at a new restaurant.
- Up until I had gotten her the bike I always felt like I was forcing her to join me hiking, go the trails, and be outside. She always participated and had a great time.
- Prior to the meeting I had built a routine around biking and switching to a low pace low energy lifestyle really upset me.
- She was very much a homebody and didn’t enjoy being social.
- Christmas, Love, 1 year anniversary, valentines day, and birthday all in the next 60 days.
- The pressure around Christmas plays a good part in my reasoning for ending things. In retrospect, this shouldn’t have been the case. At the beginning of the Month, she provided me with 25 Christmas gifts in a basket. I didn’t know how to react to this, I hadn’t had a normal Christmas in years.
- It dawned on me that I always wanted the two of us to go biking together, and I always felt she could really use a bike to improve her own well-being. So I got her the bike.
- As Christmas grew closer and I was trying to find a bike and give her a great gift I began to question why I was doing this. Part of me felt like I had to because we were in a relationship and the other part was internalizing our entire relationship, was she the right one? I am putting in all this effort and is it worth it? Will she even like the bike? She’s never expressed interest in it
- In addition to Christmas, around that time everything about her changed, I very easily tell she was in love with me but afraid to tell me. This put even more pressure on making sure the Christmas gift. I also knew in 2 months we’d have a one-year anniversary.
- All of December I was so focused on the pressure of the relationship, making plans to be with her for Christmas, I began to disconnect from the relationship. It felt like things were moving really fast or were about to move very fast.
- I ended up convincing myself I wasn’t happy. I had put on weight, and I was becoming slightly aggravated with work…but because she always talked about the negative parts of her job. I felt like I was constantly splitting my weekends between what I wanted to do and what we wanted to do. I had worked so hard to be the person I was when we met and during our time together I lost that person. I knew that person had to change to accommodate her but I didn’t like the way it change.
- For Christmas I toyed with the idea of gifting her a key to my apartment, the idea being that I really wanted to move things forward with her, that I did love her, that I did want to change my life to better accommodate her.
- Did I love her though? I think so.
- I was scared that she was scared of telling me how she really felt about me. It made me nervous that there was something wrong in our relationship and the way we communicated.
- The Christmas Trip to Chicago
- The guy she went on the trip with is weird AF, I think she loves her, he pays for everything, takes her to sports games 2-3 hours away, and they've been very close friends for 10-15 years. Never dated, and she doesn't show nor talk about him in a way I should have any concern. Visually, this guy looks like a loser, but he is a very kind pushover.
- During Christmas, she opted to take a last-minute two-day trip to Chicago with her male friend Pinky. Her good friend I think is in love with her.
- The trip took place two days before Christmas during the really bad snowstorm. We had plans to be together for the holiday and go camping
- Her flight was delayed and she couldn’t come back until the 28th or 29th.
- I was devastated over this, I had finally come around to Christmas and was looking forward to having someone to spend the holiday with and it didn’t happen. This killed my entire Christmas mood and really made me question everything about us.
- She knew the storm was coming and before leaving knew there was a risk of missing Christmas but continued anyways. I don’t have an issue with pinky in the regard that she would cheat on me, but I really struggled to understand this relationship between the two of them.
- She has so much potential to be this amazing woman and she doesn’t even try. I know she has school and work…
- I had wished for a while that the feeling of guilt of spending time doing my own things would go away. May the would have if I had known on weekend mornings she was doing her own thing, spending time on herself instead of sleeping or watching crime shows.
- She has had some trauma around relationships in the past and this was a recurring conversation in our relationship. She made it very clear this was her first serious relationship where she felt safe and secure. This was the first relationship where she felt like her needs were being discussed and met. I eventually convinced her to get help with this which she did.
- I became weary after she began seeking mental help. I was self-conscious about her finding out about my insecurities and those being identified by her therapist as reasons why we shouldn’t be together.
- I was open with her about everything in my life
- I didn’t even know if she was talking about our relationship
- She had the worst teeth, just needs to get those things cleaned.
- She has self-image issues, and while I always fault she was beautiful and extremely unique, she never really tried to work out with me or address these issues.
- We did try working out together once but it never stuck with her, this goes back to offering her a key to my apartment.
- My Life was beginning to split into two:
- Our time together
- What I wanted for myself
- There was certainly overlap, and while people say you shouldn’t have similar interests as your partner, why is that? I would love if she was a more active person if she would have insisted on getting a bike to go out with me if she had more often entertained ideas for our time together that leaned more toward what I wanted to do
- Financial life - I want a house, I want to keep doing triathlons, I have big bike plans over the next few years. I wasn’t really ready to give up any of this, while there was no financial strain brought on by the relationship, relationships do require that you spend money and I sometimes felt like a dinner out could have been better used to finance a plane ticket or tri entry fee.
- I spent a lot of time each week trying to justify and how to explain to her that I was going to be gone half the day, on the two days a week we stayed together.
- Moving in together
- I was so scared of this conversation. She needs to move out of her moms ASAP
- She considered moving in with her male best friend who I think is in love with her.
- She had a dog that wouldn’t fit in with my apartment.
- She often hinted at having this conversation
- During our breakup, I mentioned this and she did say it was way too early for that discussion.
- She had no idea what she wanted out of life, she very much had just begun to figure herself out. I am the one that forced her to do this.
- She had a lot of self-confidence and image issues that stemmed from family and past relationships she hadn’t begun to understand
- The conversation at Christmas about anxiety over having no plans or nothing to do for two weeks?
- Did I overthink the pinky relationship?
- Relationship with her ex, Jordan
- They met every Tuesday for dinner at a local food truck event
- She described their relationship as being a “situationship” they moved in together because they were dating at the same time they were both kicked out of their homes
- This is when she got the dog
- She mentioned he treated her extremely poorly
- When we got into her car his name was always on the “quick contacts” screen, but these contacts had never changed from our first date to the end of the relationship
- I never really tried to understand this relationship, the Tuesday dinner thing is something that has always happened, she’s been cheated on in the past, I never once felt she cheated on me with him, but I never understood why she hung on to this relationship. I assumed it was always a fall back plan.
- This guy was also invited to the graduation party.
- She invited her work friends and myself, pinky, and Jordan. Again I just didn’t get this, especially since it was close family only
- I have never connected physically and emotionally with someone like I did Michaela. During our discussion about our sex life we had a slight mismatch I was a few times-a-week person she was an everyday person but I learned to adjust.
- The sex was amazing, again, I have never connected with someone like her before.
- I’ve never felt more electric in a kiss with someone as I did with her.
- I was always unhappy with her weight. At first, I thought it was because of my hated of bigger people, but it really came down to me not liking that she hated it but didn’t do anything about it.
- Not a risk taker
- I wish she was someone that would do everything with me, and we just didn’t have strong enough interest in each other's interests for this to happen.
- Girl, you spend so much time watching tru crime shows, shut it off and learn about yourself
- Quit your job, its toxic as fuck, hang out with your work friends less
- Find a hobby, your significant other can’t be your entire life. Part of the reason we spent time figuring out what to do is that you don’t have any interests. Part of my guilt in the relationship was spending time doing my things while you were left at my apartment by yourself….watching tv
- Get a teeth cleaning, fuck.
- You’re beautiful and a head-turner, embrace it, and stop thinking so poorly of yourself.
- I think I ended things because of my fear of commitment
- I did love her, but I spent a lot of effort convincing myself otherwise
- The pressure I put on myself regarding this relationship in December was unfair to both of us. She was being an amazing partner I was being selfish and looking for ways to not face these moments in our relationship
- I don’t understand how to support someone and when it is correct to support someone in a relationship and what support needs to be sorted out on their own
- I hope we cross paths again in the future, I think she’s going to end up being an even better match for me.
- I realize that I was upset with her for not beginning to understand herself, and while she was certainly working toward it was in a manner different than what I did for myself to gain confidence and happiness in life
- I wrote this after the mom letter, and I realize she made me extremely insecure about the relationship I had with my mother. She and her mother have a terrible relationship, almost verbally abusive in a way but she maintains a relationship with her. I was certainly afraid of her figuring out this could be an issue in our relationship or her therapist somehow indicating this is a red flag
- I was so focused on trying to keep on top of being the best I could be, I put the relationship to the wayside, I became upset when I realized she wasn't trying to be the best she could be.