Review link (in mandarin) : https://zhongce.sina.com.cn/article/view/163226/
Based on google and deepl translate and my limited chinese vocabulary, here's some of the takeaways:
​

1. FP2 oval disc shape is larger in width but thinner than the FP1 convex shape
   
2. Detachable USB C for FP2
   
3. Claims FP2's Wi-Fi implementation provides faster response time than FP1's ZigBee protocol
   
4. Larger detection area
   
5. With more zone detections requires longer initial setup
   
6. It comes with fall detection for the model that the blogger received, although they also mentioned that false positive can be triggered by "shaking clothes"
   
7. For fall detection mode the device has to be mounted top down, for spatial tracking mode the device has to be mounted to the side of the room. Therefore only one of the modes can be used at any time.
   
8. Exposable to HomeKit (and possibly home assistant via HomeKit controller) for both light and zone detection. No mentioned whether fall detection or upcoming posture detection is exposable.
   
9. Presence detection trigger almost immediately, "The FP2 is so fast that I even had to add a two-second delay to automations to make it intuitive"
   
10. Spatial position tracking much faster and more accurate than fp1. Able to detect when they walk into a predefined office zone
    
11. Susceptible to reflections from smooth object. In the 1.1.3 firmware update Aqara added a edge setting guidance page to address the issue
    
12. Product manager of FP2 says that they will add in the future the ability "to automatically learn to find and block misidentified targets" to reduce false positives
    
13. Can be operated as a human presence detection sensor without spatial awareness if its not required
    
14. Presence of pets may trigger sensor
    

​
All around, seems like a huge step up from FP1 based on this article. Have a look at the review for some photos and additional information.

I will be arriving this Friday 24th March in Chania, where I will be staying until the 21st Apr. I am traveling alone and don't have a driver's license.
I got into this habit of going somewhere for 1-2 months during this time of the year, while working remotely. This year I started in Cyprus with some friends and decided to come to Crete as the flights were quite cheap.
The purpose of this post is just to get some advice/tips/recommendations during my stay, as well as hopefully find either locals, tourists or other remote workers who would like to hang out in Chania, and even discover the island together. If that's you, I'd be happy to hear from you via DM. I am a 34 yrs old queer guy living in Berlin, into music, events, cooking, and travelling. Pretty easy-going person who loves to chat, share a good laugh and go on fun adventures, looking for the same :)
If you have tips for me I would love to hear more about:

• Restaurants in Chania, plus foods or dishes that I absolutely must try before leaving the island.
• How does it work with public transport? Since it's low season, am I essentially doomed to stay in Chania and surrounding areas, or is it easy to travel around the island?
• What activities / day trips / excursions would you say are worth booking?
• What should I be doing during Easter weekend?

Plus whatever information you could have for me that would make my stay enjoyable! On weekdays I will be working until 6pm, but will be free over the weekends. I am a bit worried that I'll get bored as I'll be staying for quite some time, so I would be very happy to be proven wrong :)

Hello zen, welcome to my ongoing experimental book report on David Hinton’s China Root.¹
The “experimental” part of this book report is mostly for my personal self-observation: I have been doing it over such a long span of time that, at this point, I am significantly reduced, in a cognitice sense, compared to where I was when I began issuing “reports” on David Hinton’s curious tome several years ago now. (I have early onset dementia—and the fact of the matter is that I’m already a decade beyond the “early” part, for all practical purposes.)
I only introduce this subject to explain any verbal deficiences in this post. I am nicotine-less, and still trying to figure out how to get my brain to output words in a consistent or coherent manner. I’m totally incapable of filming videos right now, as I forget what I am talking about within 5 minutes. But when I woke up today I saw a post from u/sje397 in my feed, and it reminded me of how kind and cordial he was to me when I first posted here, and I thought: “Well that really did work out pretty well, didn’t it?” And so I wanted to pop up with a post that showed him that my efforts to bring my study of Ch’an to this forum have not deviated one iota since that very first video—in which I brandished an apple rather wildly, talked about sutt, and made a pretty decent broom joke, if I remember correctly.
In any case, I have the perfect content slotted up: the next two chapter’s in my revolutionary book report on David Hinton’s locally controversial book: China Root. (Revolutionary because, while I have never been a fan of the book report standard, nor highschool nor university scholarship whatsoever, I did find it important to try and fit in with zen locals, by offering them one example of their favorite form of content: one book report in classical “book report” style. [Linseed: Full disclosure: most of the time when I wrote book reports in elementary school, I did so in the form of short fictions that discussed the text—so reporting on a book as if I am some desk bound nerd that puts weight into “scholarship” and “facts” does not come naturally…so just keep in mind that, even though this is a book report, it is still offered up by a literati who is neither drunk on themself, nor on anynone else, nor on any particular pack of lies that is bundled together and sold as “authority” to the masses. Thanks.])
No…even my book reports are quite clearly the product of a literati, and not some desk-fascist who has something to “prove with words”—so I do hope you enjoy!
First, here is a run down of book reports so far, for any who are curious, want to get up to date on the book, or who are interested in what the process of reporting on a book thoroughly looks like (for the many of you who have never actually seen that before):
Introduction: a work on "Original Zen."
Reader's Note and First Chapter
Meditation, Breath, Mind, and Words
Absence
Empty-Mind and Mirror
Bonus post:
The Utility of China Root for Literate People
Oh, and before we actually proceed: you are caught up to me in my own progress in the book so far. It’s kind of an exciting moment for me, honestly, because while I have profited immensely from Mr. Hinton’s poetry translations over the years (and I highly recommend both his Li Po and his updated Tu Fu)—to be completely straightforward I have never found his philosophical interests engaging or pertinent, think his take on a “Tao” based framework of “Ch’an” wonky to the point where I ask “so this is only for PhD’s with $400 sweaters and / or rural aristocracy that have things like actual looms in their homes?”, and am entirely unconvinced that an “academic” poetry translator with a giant list of millionaire foundations in his resume is going to be able to successfully introduce Ch’an at all.
And after the above introductory segments, we start to get into the real world today. Let’s see what the “artist-intellectual” aristocrat has to share with us tired and lowly masses on the subject of Ch’an, shall we?

山水 Rivers-and-Mountains

This chapter is probably of the least interest to the zen user. (But is particularly useful for New Ager lampoonery.) It’s worth plucking out two quotes in order to show who Hinton is and how he sees himself / his approach to Ch’an, as well as how he recognizes not only himself but also, clearly, many of his readers in Tang and Song China’s class of artist intellectuals. This certainly makes him somewhat of an outlier in the world of Zen study (and it also restricts him to a certain demogrpahic of readers, and obviously flips the bird to many others, such as non-artists and non-intellectuals, scholars, members of religious instituitions, etc snd so on). It is worth pointing at this location of his book when it comes to audience, however: because this is the audience he has been cultivating very successfully for several decades, and it is the audience where this particular book already has and will continue to find many readers: ie the class of artists and intellectuals (many of whom are academics) who choose to live in rural settings (or keep a vacation home there)—and enjoy reading poetry. This is why I know this book will actually be read by quite a few people. I live among this demogrpahic, and have already seen Hinton’s book surface in the wild amongst readers who never expressed a lick of interest in “Zen” or “Buddhism.” (It’s weird—I thought users here would be particularly interested in this tome due to the fact that it will reach completely beyond the world of relgious instituitions and thought, and bring a new wave of secular readers to Zen…sadly the curioisity, verve, and amicability of the contemporary “internet scholar” leave much to be desired.)
Now, obviously 99% of these folks, the “artist intellectuals” Hinton writes for, would never stoop to touch Reddit—which is precisely why I feel this forum owes them, but even more so Reddit users, a thorough review of Hinton’s book. (And please, do add your comments and opinions about the book to this OP—I would love to see them myself.)
But wait—I suppose some of you may be asking, “well if this book is written for a bunch of folks with oil paint and bruschetta on their fingers, or who have those fancy tethers on their eyeglasses that allow them to be taken off and rested on the chest while while eyes are opened a little wider, looking up and out some window some mountain or some river vista, as they wistfully contemplate their analgoues in medieval China—then why should I be interested?” ::redditor munches doritos:: Well, while that is a question only you can answer, reader, I can say that, if you ever do end up becoming the sort of student of Zen who moves to a rural locale, and begins walking around with a stick—or even if you just visit on some pastoral vacation—the book will / can be rather useful when you’re walking on the path and you bump into someone who quotes Leibniz, or mumbles something about Chartres when they see a particulalrly grand upended tree…and you want to poke that person in the eye.
Anyway. Hinton on how he sees things, and the very specific class of folks he writes his book for—even while clearly halfway imagining that class into existence himself (call it a “writing trick” I suppose):
(On the “cenrality if landscape” in “Chinese culture and Ch’an practice”)

This explains the centrality of landscape in Chinese culture and Ch’an practice: indeed, the abiding spiritual aspiration of China’s artist-intellectuals was to dwell as integral to rivers-and-mountains landscape. The cultivation of this dwelling took many forms, all of which recognized rivers-and-mountains landscape as the open door to realization. Ancient artist-intellectuals lived whenever possible as recluses in the mountains, wandered there where that cosmological process could be experienced in the most immediate possible way. The arts were considered ways to cultivate that dwelling: poetry being most essentially rivers-and-mountains poetry, painting most essentially rivers-and-mountains painting. And that dwelling was also the central concern of Ch’an practice.

Hmm. Like I said, this guy’s wonky. Maybe if I went to one of my fancier neighbor’s houses—while they smoked high-cbd, low THC cannabis, and casually ate something I didn’t even recognize (likely while dipping it in something else that looks like my monthly food budget contained in one bowl)—and listened to them pontificate about what happened that one time they “did psylicibin right after reading Walt Whitman on a camping trip in the Himalayas”…this would resonate. [Linseed: Hey, they read a lot—but I’m not saying they’re particulalry skilled at reading what when where or how!]
Anyway, you see how Hinton writes about this stuff. “Good luck getting through WWIII ‘aritst-intelleftuals’! I truly hope your walnut wardrobes and families and looms and easels and designer dog breeds—and literally to die for appaeritif spreads—all manage to navigate history safely together, with nary a hiccough or a stumble!”
—Linseeed (for reals)
In this next passage we see Hinton’s highly personal and very…idk, sort of “radically independent”² take on the history and location of Ch’an. What is interesting is what he brings up about the centrality of mountains in the Ch’an record. (I mean when the local “Zen Master” is often given the name of the local mountain, it does tell you something.) Anwyay, Hinton being weird and some other stuff:

Ch’an’s beginnings can be traced to around the fourth century C.E., when there was a resurgence and deepening of Taoist thought (Dark- Enigma Learning) together with the beginning of landscape’s centrality for China’s artist-intellectuals, most notably when China’s mature mainstream poetic tradition emerged in the form of rivers- and-mountains poetry invented by two epochal poets: T’ao Ch’ien and Hsieh Ling-yün (author of “Regarding the Source Ancestral,” a seminal text in Ch’an). The reason for this is no doubt the mirror- deep clarity of empty mirror-mind that Buddhist meditation so resolutely cultivated. And in fact, the original meanings of the Ch’an ideogram, before it was chosen to translate the Sanskrit dhyana (“meditation”), were “altar” and “sacrifice to rivers-and-mountains.” Hence, meditation as a place where one honors or celebrates rivers- and-mountains. In addition, Ch’an monasteries were typically located in remote mountains (those in cities surrounded themselves with the domesticated landscapes of gardens), and Ch’an masters leading those monasteries generally took the names of local mountains as their own because they so deeply identified with mountain landscape: Hundred-Elder Mountain, Yellow-Bitterroot Mountain, Cloud-Gate Mountain, Heaven-Dragon Mountain, Wind- Source Mountain, River-Act Mountain, Buddha-Land Mountain, Cloud-Lucent Mountain, Doubt-Shrine Mountain, Fathom Mountain, Moon-Shrine Mountain, and indeed: Mirror-Sight Mountain.

So much for the “New Ager Crack” chapter—let’s get to some interesting stuff.

法 Dharma

Holy Smokes! Hinton is finally gonna talk about something real! 😜 (Or at least we can hope…I have no idea—these are uncharted waters for me from here on out.)

In common usage, 法 (Dharma) means “law.” The first sense of the “law” in Ch’an is simply the teachings of the Ch’an tradition, the essential truths about reality and the essential principles that guide practice. But that initial meaning is quickly dismantled, because Ch’an’s essential teaching resides outside of words and ideas.

Oh shit! Did he just kill all scholars with one stroke?!? Those feisty artist-intellectuals! Must be a warzone in the academy these days, what between the old guard and the encroahing corporatists, who carry the banner of “truth” wherever they go backlit by flames.
After this passage he goes into some of his worst (imo) schtick: talking about how Tao “unfurled” into “Dahrma / Ch’an”, etc. The aritst intellectuals might slurp it up, idk—but that milkshake offers no real flavor to a student of Zen that I detect.
Now he quotes Huangbo (whom he coyly refers to as “Yellow Bitteroot Mountain”):

This dharma is mind: outside of mind, there is no dharma. And this mind is dharma: outside of dharma, there is no mind.

And wowzers, this is going to make some folks choke on tea:

Mountain continues (in a passage we have already seen) to equate both to Absence: “Mind is of itself Absence-mind, is indeed Absence- mind Absence.” So in Ch’an, dharma can be known through meditation where one can “see original-nature.” In fact, Bodhidharma described dharma as “the inner-pattern of original- nature’s purity.”18

Pretty spicy, n’est pas, zen users? Now, this “Inner Pattern” concept is an interesting one that I’ll come back to in a future post. For now, he ends on the “dharma” thusly:

And so, dharma’s wordless teaching resides in empty-mind, rivers- and-mountains landscape, the sheer thusness of everyday life.
And as Patriarch Sudden- Horse Way-Entire says, dwelling as integral to that dharma is itself the liberation of awakening: The dharma of all things themselves, that is the Buddha-dharma. All those dharmas together are liberation, and that liberation is the existence-tissue itself all clarity absolute.

Is not “Sudden-Horse Way-Entire” the absolute best “Zen Master Name” for that particular patriarch? Imo, the names are the most fun part of the book thus far.
What did you think of the last paragraph, zen? Is it comprehensible to you? Or does it make you sneeze birkenstocks, and screw Odyssean wax out of your ear with one finger?
My opinion so far is that Cleary is defintiely a better translator, and that this “intro” book seems so wonky, thus far, that I am not sure if it will ever limp its way out of the library of some retired Don Quixote, or not. Thankfully, time will tell—and all I have to do is write a book report.
—Linseed
PS: How was that, sje? It took both you and spring herself peeking in my window this morning—but I did eek out some content.
¹ The most recent installments were made under the moniker of u/golden_eyebrow, that alter-id I conjured to a lonely and savage life of historical piracy, and launched into the past and future last summer.
² Is it still worth making literary or etymological jokes in this forum? Or am I already the last of the funny people?

TL;DR:
I’m almost certain after my behaviour over the past two years that I have BPD but have only a diagnosis of ADHD despite telling mental health team.
I had a very upsetting and painful relationship with someone that made me feel really bad about myself. I hit out and had a mental breakdown, no I don’t feel like I can live my life because of who the person is and what they have made up about me on top of my already (true) crazy… I don’t really know what to do because I have really good friends in the city I live in but know that anything I do can and will be cancelled by this person.
oh goddddd, so I have a diagnosis of ADHD and not BPD but I did some crazy shit to someone I dated - so I reckon I do have BPD/ I was suffering from psychosis/ super low self esteem + trauma.
Context:Me - 26F Her 32F (I’ll use R to refer to hr)
I was living in my van at the time, really down and out - low sel esteem felt like i had nothing to offer.
She has a fancy salon on the main st in the area where kinda everyone i know in the city is/ DJs at the radio station across the st from r’s salon. To get anywhere you need to walk past her salon or try to avoid it. She knows all the big names etc and is like semi -famous.
Basically I was going through a bit of a rough time - had been struggling with homelessness for a while and that had gotten me into tricky situations which I didn't realise were probably leaving a mark on me. I hadn't been back in the UK for that long, having lived in Greece working in the camps for a while until covid happened and i experienced burnout and got back into drugs when trying to make new friends since i'd been abroad for so long. I sobered up and sorted myself out a bit and went and lived in my van tree-planting and having a nice time.
Anyways, I wasn't really into dating at that point but had dating apps and got talking to someone. Straight away she was really telling me loads about herself and so I opened up to over messages etc, she'd voice note and send pictures asking me to identify mushrooms she'd picked and asked me my opinions/ knowledge about intellectual topics etc, and basically seemed to have a lot in common with me/ wanted similar things.
We don't meet for a while because I'm flaky and always on the move. We finally meet, she comes to a friends house where i sometimes went when I was in the city (i lived in my van remember) and we take some mushrooms, laugh loads and then go to the club together, as soon as i get there she ignores me completely- but i bump into a friend so spend the night dancing with him.. i tell r I'm going to leave and we chat for a bit and then go outside, I ask if she's attracted to me because I'm confused by our interaction, i like r from our chats and how much we laughed together but then i think that she thinks I'm weird hence why she ignored me in the club- we end up circling each other and then kissing for a while, I go to leave and she grabs me an throws me to the wall and kisses me more (HOT). In the morning she messages me 'you're on my mind this morning'- I find it kinda wild, but like flattering and hot.
Anyways I'm away again and she tries to get me to drive back to the city to fuck a few times when she's drunk/ messages me in the night and gets annoyed when i don't reply 'I want you to talk to me' is what she'd say. I've never experienced anyone being so forward so i find it a bit unnerving but nice.
When we finally have sex it's wild, she strangles me without asking but it just works, she's so intense the most intense lover I've ever had, staring at me like she's going to swallow me whole. she says it's the best sex she's ever had - i don't know how to reply, but it is good. We continue seeing each other and she tells me all about her exes who are badddd, like crazy - 3 turn up at r’s flat over the time we are seeing each other... (and she tells me how she has gotten people cancelled).. We hang out a LOT she keeps telling me she's going to fall in love with me but she can't- can't have a relationship, we chat about what we want and she seems to want everything i want? Land, community.. She comes for a drink with me and my friend and storms out half way through i follow her and she's like I'm sorry and goes to dinner, i wake up to 9minutes worth of voice notes telling me all of these nice things about me but that I'm like damaged goods so maybe we should be friends because she knows she'll fall in love with me and she can't do that.. I'm so confused i message back telling her that everything is telling me to run away but for some reason i can't..
everytime i stay r tells me she's going to fall in love with me over and over again, but that she can't do that and it hurts me so i often stay in the spare room, always awaking to her coming in and clinging to me in the night, the way she holds me feels so good.. it really confuses me, so i become unsure if i should see her, everything feels wierdly dramatic all the time and the sex is crazy, she sends me constant nudes and desires me all the time, asks me to come to her work just to kiss her. Does not stop going on about my appearance and body (I'm like SUPER underweight at that point - sick looking- but i guess muscly from all the manual labour? idk weird she was so into it). But we do have the best times when we're together and i feel so special she covets me in public and invites me to cool fancy events and i feel accepted by like the beautiful people? But then she's also seeing other people, (none like me though, she loves me and it's different...) and makes fun of me for not (ENM) so i try and date other people but she stops me each time. She gets a bit calmer and things feel okay between us, i stay most nights she still pushes and pull but i put it down to her trauma and she tell me she's in love with me. I tell r i need time but she demands that i fuck her hard and lover her during sex. R corners me all the time over the next few weeks and tells me i must feel the same way as it's between two people. I'm obsessed, I love her back, I tell R this but that it feels painful and that shouldn't be what love is. We continue hanging out and it seems okay but it's like I'm waiting for her to do something again, it's incredible in so many ways the way we talk constantly about everything and all the amazing things she says to me.. But I'll catch r out on lies/ she'll do things/ say things that are really mean both to me and to strangers etc.
But then things get hard she has some family stuff and says she can't date me, i of course say that's fine but she messages me every day - i get really sick from living in the van during winter with no heating and end up at my mums (alcoholic) after not seeing her for years, she ghosts me over random stuff then rings me crying saying she loves me and would be with me if stuff was not happening in her life.
I get a bit better and come back to the city in my van sleeping near parks etc, the night i get back i meet my friend (an ex, I'm a lesbian what can i say) who sees my phone flashing and her texts to me, she can't believe that that's how she speaks to me. I ask r if I'll see her tonight, she messages me as I'm parked up a while out the city demanding i come fuck her and leave my dog alone in the van. I feel like shit but then do what she wants the following night after not having slept, our relationship becomes me coming over and cooking for her and fucking her on demand.. At this point I'm barely sleeping each night, waiting for her to message me or up from the cold. one night i say no and that she has no respect for me, the next day I say we need to chat- she's mean over text and is all about what just tell me over text, so i tell her i think she has zero respect for me and it hurts. she brushes it off but later sees me walk past her salon and then ends up coming into the shop where i go with my friend and grabs my hand. Later she sees me again whilst djing (across the road from her salon) and messages me and asks if i like her croptop i tell her ofc she looks amazing, she says she'll come chat to me later. She doesn't so i sleep until she turns up at my van at midnight wrecked. I come out and ask her wtf she is doing but she just grabs me and kisses me and throws me against the park railings and tells me to come to hers so i follow her, we start having sex and i freak out and she tells me she loves me to which i only reply 'sure'. she jumps out of the bed and starts screaming at me to get out if i don't think she loves me, i move to get up but then she presses me down and doesn't let me leave nor does she let me sleep and shakes me trying to get me to talk but I've shut down.
The next day I wake having had one hour sleep feeling terrible. i go down on r and bring her to orgasm she bucks into my nose and i bleed everywhere, a sad trail of red leading to the bathroom.. she sits me on the edge of the bath and cleans me up, we shower together and i watch my blood mix with the water. Later in r’s kitchen she picks me up and sits me on her counter (I'm p tall 5'8 but tinnyyy 47kg and she's 6ft curvy af and strong) and strokes my hair tries to speak to me but i can't hear anything i feel so done and hurt and terrified to lose her, it's like my self worth has become reliant on her because idk she's so powerful in the area i live and is so mean about everyone and if she's not mean about me then maybe I'm not so bad right? I know - bpd right?
Anyways i go to my van and change and r comes in and gives me my stuff that i had at hers i tell her i don't want it and throw it out… I was feeling rejected I guess?.. she's laughing at me an I'm so embarrassed i throw my clothes into the street I'm crazy, feel ridiculous and small and sick and ashamed i want her not to see me like that. She storms off and tells me I'll never see her again if I do that again so I follow her (she wants to go a walk) and she screams at me in public all around the park and i try to calm her. By the time we get back to hers I'm apologising telling her it woulave completely lost my d be a shame to waste our connection and i love her. I have completely lost myself, I'm a different person from when she met me. I have no where to go but go to my friends who tells me she's worried about me and that someone shouldn't be treating me that way. The woman just sends me romantic songs and i tell her i think the other night was inappropriate, she admits that it was and says we can never talk about it again.
I start going crazy- messaging weirdly when she doesn't reply, clingy like, r tells me she doesn't think about me doesn't care about me. I'm not sleeping still and in the morning i tell her that i think she needs therapy etc if she thinks that this is love because it should feel good and it should be an action not just some intense feeling she has and that i am so confused because she treats her friends so nicely and yet the person she is in love with like a dog or an enemy and i think she's amazing but maybe we should be friends if her behaviour doesn't change cause i don't want to lose her.. She is obviously mad with me and tells me she completely fell for me but can't have a relationship (not my point). We were meant to have a date that night as r was going to Mexico the next day but she cancels because of my behaviour.. i ask to go and get my records then so i go to the salon- with her favourite chocz (ikr I'm full psycho at this point) and she's angry but we make out loads in the back street.. she says she'll meet me later, I'm a mess getting ready and think I'll be late so don't get fuel for my van (so no heating), i turn up and she's still working but invites me in i try and wait but my mum keeps ringing saying she's suicidal.. she finally finishes cutting the persons hair 2 hours after i turn up... and we make out loads in the salon, but shes mean, shes hungry so i take her for food she holds my hand down the street and leans her head on my shoulder as she eats i walk her to her car and she tells me that's it i kiss her loads and ask her to drive me back and she agrees I'm trying not to cry as she drops me off and she asks me why do i care so much about it. i kiss her and she drives off. i try and sleep on my friends couch but it's so cold. I message her and joke how she's going to go through all my texts laughing with her business partner - she's like wtf.. (she told me she'd done that with ex partners texts and I'm so paranoid all the time at this point), she tells me something has happened and she has to stop texting i apologise and say i;ll message in the morning...
She's so mad with me still in the morning and the communication is fucked, she's mad i just want to be friends and everything else, but of course, i want to be with her and not just be friends, i'd really do anything. I ask if i can leave her a letter because everything i text is misconstrued. She says yes so i write her a letter telling her how i feel and apologising, i feel like i really love her, she's such a strong character and so interesting and so fierce with so many idiosyncrasies and mad music knowledge and that i want to be in her life in any capacity that i can, i mean it but I'm so so fucked up at this point and i'd had a long term relationship but like it wasn't like this.. the intensity, it was really nice and so loving, but it was very different from this, despite the pain of it no one had ever said such amazing things to me and i'd never had sex like that / so much in common musically etc.... I'm so hurt and just think i should try move on, i go and sleep with someone straight away. the next day she messages me whilst on her way to to the airport, telling me the letter made her cry - because it's sad and that all she wants to do is be in my arms, i tell r i love her and r says she feels the same, but I'm stupid i try and date other people whilst she's in mexico. The stupidest idea, I’m so so mentally ill at this point, not sleeping and pushing my body to the absolute limits at work and to nail the coffin.. start taking street valium to try and sleep.. i tell r about going on dates, i always told her before because i want to be open about that and she encouraged my dating other people (but i have like sexual trauma so it's difficult for me, but i don't mind her dating) she gets jealous of one person i date (a)… A instantly clings on to me and by then myself esteem is so done i think everyone can just take what they want from me and I give it despite a year ago knowing full well I would have ran a million miles from someone like a.. and this is really horrible.. but i wasn't even really attracted to a and i missed and loved the r so badly, but a kept demanding me to come fuck her very similar to the way r did, but obvs I loved r, so I did go an fuck a even when I didn’t want to. Whilst a is in Mexico she sends me highly sexual messages again and of course I'm so hooked, i wake up to voice notes from r telling me she loves me that she wants to do everything with me, to read to her to go travelling, to do all these mad adventurous things etc and that when she gets back she needs to see me straight away and it'll be different this time we'll do sober things etc etc. at this point I'm flat sitting a friends flat so i finally have somewhere to stay - although only for a bit..
R arrives back and I'm so excited to see her, i don't want to fuck up this time and i want to be good for her, she also has regular lovers so maybe it's good that i now have someone else as well.. when r finally gets to the place I'm staying she's two hours late and she's full of mezcal telling me about a half a million property she's going to buy (what about wanting to get land like me). I'm cooking for her and we're making small talk but she just jumps on me and tells me to get into the bedroom so i do. she pushes me on the bed and tries to fuck me (again something i can have problems with cause past trauma) she hurts me so i tell her and she laughs and stops rather than asking what i want. I've never seen her so turned on, like, her clit is SWOLLEN anyways we have a LOT of sex for hours and hours can't stop touching each other telling each other how much we love each other, and i talk about the woman I'm dating and the sex... because i found it interesting because i struggle with casual sex / not having feelings for people who i sleep with but managing to have good sex with that person sometimes without having feelings (fucking for pleasure, as noted smth I struggle wi cause of trauma), i don't really remember chatting about it (she tells me the next day how inappropriate that is).. anyways it feels p fucking magical to be back with r and the next day she sees me running my errands whilst she's in her salon and asks me to get her for her lunch so i do and she comes up to the flat i'm staying in and we make out but then she becomes nasty to me - making fun of my clothes and then asking if i only like her for sex (very confusing as she always jumps on me when i'd much rather go and fucking do smth fun...). She tells me off for talking about a (very fair what a twat I am) and i'm mortified, i apologise so much and tell r maybe i was trying to show off or smth but i don't remember too well because i would never want to hurt her, i'm so desperate to make it work this time.. I move in with my close friend and I stop fawning over her so much, confused by the hot and cold.. I go and stay with people and I text her the same as always but I just seem to annoy her…
R sleeps with someone I know she doesn’t even like and I’m upset - what are we doing to each other!? I try to communicate this but everything I do annoys her, when I’m invited to a cottage with an and her friends I go, just for a night. Whilst there r starts phoning me manically asking to come over and that she needs to sleep next to me, but I tell her I’m out, not where, I should’ve said where I know.. been honest.. r sends loads of messages, I should just go and ring her but for some reason I don’t because I’m so anxious, I just text her I’m so sorry I’m away id love to be with her but we need to start arranging things rather than her expecting me to just drop everything there and then all the time - I honestly thought about driving my big van 2 hours back just to be there for her and I wish I had.. I say I’ll see her as soon as I’m back but it goes on at this place, I hate it I want to be with her.
When I get back the next day I cook r a massive meal and we try and watch a film.. I have no tv and no laptop just a shite iPad. I obviously can’t concentrate on it and it annoys r.. we have sex and she tells me she loves me but I don’t reply, I just stare confused… she says she needs to go and stay in her own bed, I ask if she wants company but she says no, so she goes. But she tells me to come in to the salon on valentines day to get my hair done..
I’m pretty ill at this point again and food isn’t going well with me and just super mentally unstable with everything going on and staking street valium each night.. it’s my pals birthday and I’m so anxious around everyone I get completely black out, take loads of drugs. My dog runs away and she is texting me maniacally I’m on the st tripping balls looking for my dog , I run to the park (past her salon) she sees me and runs out and grabs me I immediately have a panic attack and collapse, her staff bring me water and she comes out and calls my friends who come and get me, she messages me asking if I’m okay. I apologise not realising the gravity of the situation. Later she (rightfully) doesn’t want to talk to me when I try.. I lose my shit, she isn’t going to cut my hair, I accuse her of manipulating me, lying (she was always lying tbh and I knew it but just turned a blind eye) and not loving me, just using me for sex, complete psychotic drool. I don’t remember any of it, I was FULL of Xanax and everything else. I fall asleep and when I wake up I’m sick realising what I did, I ring her trying to apologise, of course she won’t speak to me, so I apologise profusely. She won’t see me again. I get it I’m awful, so awful, but I’m so full of panic.
I accept that she doesn’t want to see me but I get covid and keep filling with panic and sending her apologies ( I think on two occasions) and getting really cruel responses. I then pour my heart out, all romantic, the way she used to talk to me (I know I’m mortified) and she calls me disgusting and to focus on someone else (which hurt because my problem is I struggle with focus on someone because I’m so damn scatty/ avoidant a lot of the time, probs why I fell so hard for her because I couldn’t NOT focus on he be drawn and obsessed with her). I’m terrified of walking my dog certain ways and passing her salon worried she’ll accuse me of stalking because I messaged so many times to apologise.. if I do pass with friends she stares out at me..
But then she comes and talks to me on the street and says she will see me soon (she’d always say this when she sort of ended smth, to tell me it wasn’t really over in her code) so I thought it would be like all the other times she’s be annoyed and mess with other people then call me in crying again. So I message r and suggest a walk - she blocks me. I’m so mentally ill now, can’t go down the street and have panic attacks daily that my life is ruined, hurting someone like that and being so mean and also what she will be saying to people, people look at me differently like I’m mad (she got her ex barred from an art studios, another is seen as an abuser and has called other stalkers/ crazy). It was also (pure vanity) horrifying knowing everyone would think I was this evil crazy person.. so I’d try and stay out of her way but sadly struggle as her salon is on the main Street and I couldn’t keep making my friends walk a different way (they thought I was mad too). I continue seeing a for a 2 weeks but its too much so I ask for space but she then tells me she loves me and it feels too much like what I’d just been through (why am I now creating a new pattern)… I’m so lonely and fucked up and mad and weird that A continually gets back in because my boundaries are so poor and I’m so mentally ill and probably confusing her a lot :(. I go in and out of utter panic and trying to quit the st valium and relapsing. R sees me at gigs and sometimes tries to come up but I always freak out and have a panic attack, she comes out the salon when I walk by and goes smiles and tries to talk to my friends whilst ignoring me..
I go through homelessness again and a puts me up in her big flat she lives in alone (as a friend), but it’s such an odd situation because she keeps trying to initiate sex.. I see the salon shut for ages and get a weird feeling this is months later… July?… Just before R’s birthday.. I decide to message if she’s okay, the message goes through on iMessage so maybe I’m just blocked on WhatsApp idk? No answer.. I’m so manic not sleeping I take loads and loads of valium to try and shut my brain off and down gin, I’m on my own as A has gone away in the massive flat a st away from r’s and a st away from the salon everything is so fucking close.. anyways I go crazy from all the Valiums and somehow convince myself that if I just talk to r and tell her I mean no harm she will stop saying stuff about me and just be normal to me when we bump into each other. I go crazy ring loads. When she answers she goes hysterical screaming at me and laughing hysterically and calling me all these things. She hangs up and I ring and ring and leave nonsense drugged up voice notes like ‘does it make u feel powerful being so mean..’ Etc. I’m such an idiot I feel so bad for acting so odd and traumatised I decide to write to her and give her my favourite book I think about putting it in the post but she lives down the st so I think it’s an acceptable thing to leave it outside. When I get there she’s sat outside with her pals… she sees me and is like ‘hi.. what do you want’ I say I have something for her she just replies ‘sound’ so I give her the book and letters and she bursts out laughing..
I meet someone later (o) and then it turns out r was also trying to fuck them whilst with me and told a bunch of lies.. I go to a gay club with O and as soon as I walk in R is there, she just waves at me and I jump out of my skin. Fuck. I go over and I apologise profusely saying I’m having a manic episode and it’s no excuse (it really is no excuse - I’m aware my behaviour is fucked) but I say can I have a hug and she holds me, when I pull away she grabs me and puts her hand under my top whilst telling me she needs ‘space’ from me tonight and to leave, but that the letter was ‘sweet’. The letter was also like.. asking what the protocol was because I didn’t want to be accused of doing other disrespectful things - I’d been a prick and really shat on her boundaries apologising when she didn’t want to hear from me then going fuckin’ nuts and ringing her months later, but it was also cause I didn’t know if it was bad walking past the salon and how to avoid it or whether I was allowed/ should say hello - we WERE in love? I’ve never had to like idk police myself after being so entwined with someone, them knowing everything about me… and I just felt so ashamed of my actions and selfishly wanted to make up for it even though I knew that the only way to make up for it is to not apologise.. but ye I guess its also my life. R is involved in everything music, fashion, writing.. so I really wanted to be on like semi okay terms, but it was just completely fucked up of me trying to force that on a person and I truly am ashamed and have just been doing so much therapy since.
I did just about get myself on my feet, I got a council flat, got in to do my post grad, was playing music and had a gig lined up (smth I was nervous about again because r is friends with the gig organisers and other musicians involved) and then I had a serious rock climbing accident - smashed my left arm up pretty bad, had a lush two week stay in the hospital, two operations and a bunch of metal plates put in - it was a hard recovery as I’m so active usually and my council flat is like a st away from r’s salon and everyone who knows her in the queer scene and ye I walk out my flat and just get funny looks now because of it.. R did come and talk to me on the st one day after my accident I went to turn away but there was nowhere to go, so, idk it probably looked mental as but I put on my big grin and tried to just feel love and no animosity for her and just tried to chat normally and made a bunch of jokes and also apologised again, said I feel guilty and I think about what I did all the time, she told me to ‘let it go’ and made fun of my cast and chaos, kind of infantilising and kinda treated me like I was gross and bring up stuff that she knew would make me feel awful…
I pulled through my accident and even got a modelling contract with a pretty big agency, got funded to work on a film and started my postgrad.. but then things still happen all the time, a photographer blocks me, guess what, they’re friends with r. Two people working on the film, friends with R and I just feel weird around them, my friends ask me to go to events… r is djing. my best friend starts djing at the radio station r dis at and wants me to get involved but I know I can’t even though I’m friends with the person that runs the radio station. If I were to, r would get me banned and say it was to get to them or smth, which is not true, at this point I wish I could be as far away from them as possible. I’m scared to go and see my favourite musicians play as I always suspect r will be there as we have the same taste… scared to go to certain pubs I always went to.. before I met r I would spend days off at a cafe right by her salon and just read/ catch up on admin.. I’m too nervous now as she’ll again say it’s stalking/ her friends will think that too. My favourite food place was also next to her salon. I literally love the days it’s shut and I can just go down the main st like a normal person, funny thing is that’s the only time I ever see her other ex who is also too scared to go down the main st… it’s been so long now but I’m still crippled with anxiety, I know that she now has a partner so I thought maybe she might idk be full of love and evened out a bit, but she’s still trying to like talk to my friends.. and I know for a fact going around telling people I’m crazy, I tell myself it’s in my head that she’s doing this but then something happens.
I’m so young I just want to be happy, i make new friends and then if they make a move on me I freak out, can’t have sex at all, can’t be intimate. I don’t know when I’ll stop feeling like this. I guess I’m scared I’ll be awful to someone else like I was to R. And I know that my low self-esteem isn’t all due to R at all, if anything she built me up more than anyone else ever had… but I keep putting it on her in my mind and it’s obsessive and fucked up. I own a bit of land with a group of anarchist, working class queers now and we’re building huts to make a community - I’m on disability for my arm and the severity of my ‘ADHD’ and have so much opportunity to just write and try and make something of myself but I’m still so full of panic by the proximity. One of my other best friends good friend is close friends with R and so we can’t hang out together. They are creating a pop up poety/ wine night (I write poetry) so my pal wants me to be there desperately but I know r will be there and her friends who all think I’m an evil crazy bitch from hell. Which, I guess I am, but I’m trying not to be and treating me like shit forever and spreading things on top of the crazy shit I did which are fundamentally not true is just so difficult and makes me feel like I have to move away… I’m pretty sure after all this and my mind letting it continue that I definitely have BPD, all the symptoms are there but my mental health team just think it’s severe ADHD and possibly CPTSD and I just need to stick to my medication regimen (yay stimulants) and stay off of valium - I am!! But idk, everytime I think I’m doing something good I get scared that r will find out and tear it down.. it sucks, I have a lot of love and respect for her and wish I hadn’t done what I did but I did and I can’t change it.. so I guess I deserve it completely. But still, it’s difficult to make something of myself even though I deserve this..
Has anyone had a similar situation? any advice?

So, it has to be both (delicious AND spicy hot!) What restaurant did you try it at, and what is the name on the menu? I remember on a TV show there is a spicy food challenge. Let's say, you want to have a game in front of a group of people, and those who lose the game each session, will have a bite or finish a bowl of that food. Myself, I have done that, and the participants were laughing at me and another person, for my face turning red. Damn it! haha

• Thai food: Gaeng Som & Som Tum, and Kua Kling in Vancouver & Sukkhothai, Osborne in Winnipeg.
• Central Chinese (Sichuan) down on Pembina
• East Indian on Portage, Spicy Circle: Biryani
• Jamaican cuisine: Pepper Pot soup in The People's Carribean Dutch Pot restaurant in Toronto.
• Indonesian cuisine: Manadonese, called Woku Fish (I tried this when I went on my trip to Bali, IDN. Unfortunately nothing here in the Peg). Those have successfully made me "cry" (not literally), yet with joy.

Alternatively, once in a while, you just want to give yourself a challenge.

For context I lived with my mom full time and she usually was the one who handled school and doctor’s appointments , basically a single mom my dad wasn’t really around . I was in middle school and having sharp pain in my side and throwing up. My mom couldn’t come get me right away so they called my dad and advised that he take me to the er. He surprisingly picked me but didn’t take me, thought I was probably faking. I ended up at his house playing video games for hours making myself throw up multiple times to relieve the pressure I was feeling. Still didn’t take me, when my mom eventually got off work she took me in herself. I had surgery and they took out my appendix and a burst ovarian cyst. My parents can’t stand each other so I didn’t see him till later that night when she left. He didn’t say sorry just bought me Chinese food (which he never does). And made me laugh a lot even though it was painful . Any day he wasn’t angry was a good one.

Everything in my inventory is up for trade. The most valuable items are listed here, the rest you can find in My Inventory

Feel free to Add Me or even better send a Trade Offer. Open for any suggestions: upgrades, downgrades / knives, gloves, skins / stickers, patterns, floats.

All Buyouts are listed in cash value.

KNIVES

★ Butterfly Knife Freehand FN #1, B/O: $1867

★ Butterfly Knife Bright Water MW, B/O: $1098

★ Butterfly Knife Blue Steel BS, B/O: $907

★ Butterfly Knife Ultraviolet FT, B/O: $789

★ Butterfly Knife Stained FT, B/O: $695

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★ Bayonet Tiger Tooth MW #1, B/O: $888

★ Bayonet Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $727

★ Bayonet Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $608

★ Bayonet Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $521

★ Bayonet Rust Coat BS, B/O: $253

★ Bayonet Night FT, B/O: $251

★ StatTrak™ Bayonet Lore MW, B/O: $751

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★ Karambit Gamma Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $1343

★ Karambit Damascus Steel FT, B/O: $774

★ Karambit Rust Coat BS, B/O: $537

★ Karambit Boreal Forest FT, B/O: $488

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★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1523

★ M9 Bayonet Fade FN, B/O: $1523

★ M9 Bayonet Doppler (Phase 4) FN, B/O: $1008

★ M9 Bayonet Blue Steel FT, B/O: $534

★ M9 Bayonet Rust Coat BS, B/O: $449

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★ Flip Knife Fade FN, B/O: $703

★ Flip Knife Gamma Doppler (Phase 1) MW, B/O: $509

★ Flip Knife Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $406

★ Flip Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $228

★ StatTrak™ Flip Knife Bright Water FN, B/O: $332

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★ Falchion Knife Doppler (Phase 2) FN, B/O: $292

★ Falchion Knife Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $264

★ Falchion Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $258

★ Falchion Knife Bright Water MW, B/O: $133

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★ Stiletto Knife Fade FN, B/O: $822

★ Stiletto Knife Slaughter FN, B/O: $569

★ Stiletto Knife Doppler (Phase 1) FN, B/O: $530

★ Stiletto Knife Crimson Web FT, B/O: $396

★ StatTrak™ Stiletto Knife Scorched FT, B/O: $172

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★ Gut Knife Doppler (Sapphire) MW #1, B/O: $830

★ Gut Knife Fade FN, B/O: $204

★ Gut Knife Tiger Tooth FN, B/O: $138

★ Gut Knife Bright Water MW, B/O: $104

★ Gut Knife Freehand FT, B/O: $92

★ Gut Knife Urban Masked FT, B/O: $82

★ StatTrak™ Gut Knife Rust Coat BS, B/O: $93

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★ Shadow Daggers Fade FN, B/O: $258

★ Shadow Daggers Doppler (Phase 3) FN, B/O: $165

★ Shadow Daggers Blue Steel FT, B/O: $82

★ Shadow Daggers Bright Water FT, B/O: $82

★ Shadow Daggers Blue Steel WW, B/O: $80

★ Shadow Daggers Rust Coat BS, B/O: $74

★ StatTrak™ Shadow Daggers Marble Fade FN, B/O: $186

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★ Classic Knife Slaughter MW, B/O: $311

★ StatTrak™ Classic Knife Stained BS, B/O: $163

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★ Talon Knife Slaughter MW, B/O: $605

★ Talon Knife Scorched MW, B/O: $290

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★ Ursus Knife Marble Fade FN, B/O: $405

★ Ursus Knife Night Stripe MW, B/O: $162

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★ Paracord Knife Stained WW, B/O: $125

★ Paracord Knife Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $97

★ Paracord Knife Safari Mesh FT, B/O: $96

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★ Navaja Knife Safari Mesh FT, B/O: $71

★ Navaja Knife Scorched WW, B/O: $71

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★ Nomad Knife Fade FN, B/O: $1015

★ Skeleton Knife, B/O: $909

★ Bowie Knife Boreal Forest MW, B/O: $106

★ Survival Knife Forest DDPAT FT, B/O: $97

GLOVES

★ Driver Gloves Crimson Weave FT, B/O: $335

★ Driver Gloves King Snake BS, B/O: $270

★ Driver Gloves Lunar Weave WW, B/O: $113

★ Driver Gloves Overtake WW, B/O: $88

★ Driver Gloves Overtake BS, B/O: $67

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★ Moto Gloves Transport MW, B/O: $171

★ Moto Gloves Polygon BS, B/O: $137

★ Moto Gloves Transport WW, B/O: $71

★ Moto Gloves 3rd Commando Company BS, B/O: $62

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★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Kimono WW, B/O: $1027

★ Specialist Gloves Tiger Strike FT, B/O: $654

★ Specialist Gloves Mogul FT, B/O: $295

★ Specialist Gloves Lt. Commander FT, B/O: $277

★ Specialist Gloves Crimson Web FT, B/O: $275

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★ Sport Gloves Slingshot FT, B/O: $796

★ Sport Gloves Amphibious BS #2, B/O: $699

★ Sport Gloves Omega FT, B/O: $656

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★ Broken Fang Gloves Unhinged BS, B/O: $60

WEAPONS

AK-47 Case Hardened BS, B/O: $130

AK-47 Bloodsport MW, B/O: $79

AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76

AK-47 Fuel Injector BS, B/O: $76

AK-47 Bloodsport FT, B/O: $70

AK-47 Neon Rider MW, B/O: $60

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AWP Fade FN, B/O: $864

AWP BOOM MW, B/O: $84

AWP Containment Breach FT, B/O: $69

AWP Containment Breach FT, B/O: $69

AWP Wildfire FT, B/O: $59

AWP Chromatic Aberration FN, B/O: $59

StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $65

StatTrak™ AWP Hyper Beast FT, B/O: $65

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Desert Eagle Blaze FN, B/O: $565

Desert Eagle Blaze FN, B/O: $565

Desert Eagle Printstream FN, B/O: $155

Desert Eagle Cobalt Disruption FN, B/O: $58

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M4A1-S Icarus Fell FN, B/O: $414

M4A1-S Printstream MW, B/O: $204

M4A1-S Printstream MW, B/O: $204

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M4A4 Poseidon FN, B/O: $1402

M4A4 The Emperor FN, B/O: $152

M4A4 Asiimov WW, B/O: $97

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USP-S Kill Confirmed MW, B/O: $65

USP-S Printstream FT, B/O: $69

StatTrak™ USP-S Kill Confirmed FT, B/O: $123

StatTrak™ USP-S Neo-Noir FN, B/O: $106

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AUG Flame Jörmungandr FN, B/O: $218

P2000 Ocean Foam FN, B/O: $139

Souvenir SSG 08 Death Strike MW, B/O: $81

CZ75-Auto Emerald Quartz MW, B/O: $61

Trade Offer Link - Steam Profile Link - My Inventory

Knives - Bowie Knife, Butterfly Knife, Falchion Knife, Flip Knife, Gut Knife, Huntsman Knife, M9 Bayonet, Bayonet, Karambit, Shadow Daggers, Stiletto Knife, Ursus Knife, Navaja Knife, Talon Knife, Classic Knife, Paracord Knife, Survival Knife, Nomad Knife, Skeleton Knife, Patterns - Gamma Doppler, Doppler (Phase 1, Phase 2, Phase 3, Phase 4, Black Pearl, Sapphire, Ruby, Emerald), Crimson Web, Lore, Fade, Ultraviolet, Night, Marble Fade (Fire & Ice, Fake FI), Case Hardened (Blue Gem), Autotronic, Slaughter, Black Laminate, Tiger Tooth, Boreal Forest, Scorched, Blue Steel, Vanilla, Damascus Steel, Forest DDPAT, Urban Masked, Freehand, Stained, Bright Water, Safari Mesh, Rust Coat, Gloves - Bloodhound Gloves (Charred, Snakebite, Guerrilla, Bronzed), Driver Gloves (Snow Leopard, King Snake, Crimson Weave, Imperial Plaid, Black Tie, Lunar Weave, Diamondback, Rezan the Red, Overtake, Queen Jaguar, Convoy, Racing Green), Hand Wraps (Cobalt Skulls, CAUTION!, Overprint, Slaughter, Leather, Giraffe, Badlands, Spruce DDPAT, Arboreal, Constrictor, Desert Shamagh, Duct Tape), Moto Gloves (Spearmint, POW!, Cool Mint, Smoke Out, Finish Line, Polygon, Blood Pressure, Turtle, Boom!, Eclipse, 3rd Commando Company, Transport), Specialist Gloves (Crimson Kimono, Tiger Strike, Emerald Web, Field Agent, Marble Fade, Fade, Foundation, Lt. 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P90 (Astral Jörmungandr, Run and Hide, Emerald Dragon, Cold Blooded, Death by Kitty, Baroque Red, Vent Rush, Blind Spot, Asiimov, Trigon, Sunset Lily, Death Grip, Leather, Nostalgia, Fallout Warning, Tiger Pit, Schermatic, Virus, Shapewood, Glacier Mesh, Shallow Grave, Chopper, Desert Warfare), MAC-10 (Hot Snakes, Copper Borre, Red Filigree, Gold Brick, Graven, Case Hardened, Stalker, Amber Fade, Neon Rider, Tatter, Curse, Propaganda, Nuclear Garden, Disco Tech, Toybox, Heat, Indigo), UMP-45 (Fade, Blaze, Day Lily, Minotaur's Labyrinth, Crime Scene, Caramel, Bone Pile, Momentum, Primal Saber), MP7 (Teal Blossom, Fade, Nemesis, Whiteout, Asterion, Bloosport, Abyssal Apparition, Full Stop, Special Delivery, Neon Ply, Asterion, Ocean Foam, Powercore, Scorched, Impire), PP-Bizon (Modern Hunter, Rust Coat, Forest Leaves, Antique, High Roller, Blue Streak, Seabird, Judgement of Anubis, Bamboo Print, Embargo, Chemical Green, Coblat Halftone, Fuel Rod, Photic Zone, Irradiated Alert, Carbon Fiber), MP9 (Wild Lily, Pandora's Box, Stained Glass, Bulldozer, Dark Age, Hot Rod, Hypnotic, Hydra, Rose Iron, Music Box, Setting Sun, Food Chain, Airlock, Mount Fuji, Starlight Protector, Ruby Poison Dart, Deadly Poison), MP5-SD (Oxide Oasis, Phosphor, Nitro, Agent, Autumn Twilly), Shotguns, Machineguns - 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This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 33%. (I'm a bot)

Russian state media on Monday showed bags of KFC takeout being delivered to the luxury Moscow hotel where China's delegation is staying for President Xi Jinping's state visit.
State-media agency Ruptly, part of the RT network, reported that Xi's delegation headed to the five-star Soluxe hotel in Moscow after arriving Monday for a three-day state visit.
A delivery guy soon afterwards dropped off at least 18 bags of the fast food outside the hotel, which was bedecked in Russian and Chinese flags.
The owner, fast-food conglomerate Yum! Brands, sold its restaurants to a Russian operator, which is supposed to have rebranded them under the name Rostic's.
Insider contacted Yum! Brands to ask about this delivery, but did not immediately receive a response.
According to the footage, the old branding is still being used, including the Colonel Sanders logo that was clearly visible on the takeout bags.

Summary Source FAQ Feedback Top keywords: Brands^#1 bags^#2 hotel^#3 China's^#4 state^#5
Post found in /worldnews.
NOTICE: This thread is for discussing the submission topic. Please do not discuss the concept of the autotldr bot here.

Do they just not eat those fish in China?

I haven't checked this sub in a long time because my symptoms have basically dissipated entirely, but I remember scouring the internet for answers and having a hard time finding anything positive. I want my story to be out there to offer hope.
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, and I'm not giving medical advice. I just want to share MY experience and what worked for ME, in addition to showing that you CAN heal from this condition. If anything resonates with you, then great!
Possible trigger warning: SA (mentioned but do not go in detail about it at all)
​
A little about me: I'm a woman and my symptoms started when I was 19 years old (I am now 28). I had nonstop urgency/pressure, and after a week of suffering went to a doctor and was diagnosed with a UTI. Following the treatment, my symptoms only got worse. The urgency seemed to increase. I couldn't sleep at night, couldn't concentrate. I spent all day feeling like I'd just finished half a gallon of water, only for almost nothing to come out when I went to the restroom.
I say several different specialists. Urinalysis came back normal, ultrasounds showed no abnormalities, and I refused a cystoscopy to check my bladder out of fear of physical damage (for better or for worse, I don't know). I was offered experimental drugs, but they had less than a 50% chance of working and severe side effects, so I also refused.
At this point I was feeling very lost. Tried the elimination diet for about 4-5 months, eating nothing but "IC safe" food. Nothing changed. I was stuck with these severe symptoms for about 3 years.
What ultimately helped me was eating a CLEAN, healthy diet with NO processed foods whatsoever, and good quality water. Also STAYING HYDRATED. This meant salads every day, and any protein/grain/etc was prepared at home so there weren't any additives. Nothing changed for a while... until it did. After about a year of eating clean, my symptoms all but disappeared one day. This was when I was traveling abroad. Maybe it was the combination of clean eating and destressing in a different country-- I really can't say.
My symptoms stayed away for a long time, until a couple years later when I moved to a new city and started picking up bad dietary habits again. Low and behold, my IC flared back up. I had it for 3 weeks, and thought I'd have to start everything over again. In desperation, I ended up going to a Chinese Herbalist, and I told them my symptoms. They suggested Ba Zheng San, which is normally used to treat UTI's. It cleared up my symptoms virtually overnight! I was amazing. I still get flair ups here and there, and if they last more than a day I take these herbs and they're usually gone by morning. Whether or not it's the herbs NOW, I don't know, but there's no doubt they helped me when my symptoms returned for 3 weeks.
Before I finish this off, I want to add there is a possible psychological/trauma component that may have an effect on IC. I haven't seen any official research, but it's a pattern I've noticed with other people who've shared their IC experiences: These symptoms often show up in people who've been SA'd. If this is the case for you, your body may be holding on to a lot of tension from the trauma, resulting in urgency. I did not see a specialist for this, but I did look up stretches and exercises to help with tension associated with post-SA trauma. I do think this helped to an extent.
Regardless of whether or not you've been a victim of SA, stress and tension can exacerbate your symptoms. Seek counseling if you can, practice mindfulness, stretch, meditate. These things can help.
Also, calming herbs can ease your mind. Passion flower is a good one.
And no, believe me, I’m not saying that this is all in your head, don’t worry!! I know these symptoms are VERY real and sometimes need to have physical treatments. But I can’t help but make a point about this connection since it’s come up a lot.
I did also use herbs throughout the duration of my affliction, but I don't know if any of them actually helped me so I don't want to highlight them too much. Here's what I tried, in case anyone wants to know:
-Chaste berry tea (AKA Monk's Pepper or Vitex)
-Marshmallow root tea
-Nettle tea
-D-mannose (for a very short period of time)
That is all for now. Please feel free to reach out to me directly if you have any further questions, or if you have anything to add.
I'd also like to acknowledge that I understand that not everyone is comfortable with the "alternative" medicine I used for myself, and I understand and respect that. All I know is that it worked for me, and it's worth putting out into the world in case it helps someone else, even if it's just 1 person.
Sending love and good wishes to everyone!

Έλληνας εδώ, I see that many people, mostly tourists, post here to ask for recommendations for places to eat in the city. I will try to sum up all my experiences in different places in the city. Feel free to add your own opinions and suggestions.

Fast Food:

Gyros:

1. Giok Balik. Near the White Tower Great Gyros, I recall that it was a bit less in quantity. I visited from time to time for the cooked food too. I love their Thai chicken. Pastitsio and mousaka were nice too.
2. Savvikos in multiple places across the city. Ladadika, Aristotelous Square, Toumpa, and some others I can't recall/find them. Great gyros, a bit more expensive but with nice sauce. I mostly eat the "gyrlou".
3. ΓΡΝ, in Toumpa while there is one store in One Salonica Mall too (haven't been there). Great gyros and nice pansetes.
4. Μίμης, the legend himself Mimis is probably the cheapest nice place to eat Gyros. I love both the stuffed and non-stuffed burger in sandwich. (Για τους Έλληνες εννοώ το γεμιστο μπιφτέκι). I doubt that the guy there understand English.
5. Katsamaka was a nice place for gyros. I can't remember what I ordered but it was great lol.

​
Burger:
Difficult one

1. I love the burger from Brothers in Law, near Agia Sofia, in Toumpa, and near Ladadika. I hate their french fries and their bans are average
2. Tarantino in Ladadika is great but a bit more expensive. You can find it in Agora Modiano too. Check Agora Modiano section for more info.
3. There are more but I have to try them

Pizza:
Thessaloniki is "the cheap Pizza" city. You can find cheap pizza by piece everywhere. Do not hesitate to take a piece. The standard price is 1.5 euro per piece. My favorite places are:

1. Avanti Pizza. Of all the low-quality but tasty 1.5-euro pizza places Avanti is the best. I love Margarita
2. The Last Slice is the best place to buy nice Pizza. 100% times better than the next one. The slices there are twice as big as the other places but they cost more than 3 euros. I highly recommend it.
3. High School Pizza Bar. A nice place near the sea. Nice view, a nice environment. Different than the previous ones
4. Πίτσα Σάκης. Low quality but I include for sentimental reasons because it is old and traditional

Other:

1. ThessBao in their two locations in Plateia Eleftherias and near the White Tower. The only place for bao bans. I like them. I suggest the Pulled pork with black beer and honey.
2. Salento amazing place for salentina, salciccia, and similar Italian sandwiches. Every time I go there it rains... sad. It's over Aristotelous square.

Falafel:

1. No good falafel in the city. If you have ever eaten a falafel from a person born in Northern Africa or Middle East skip this category. If you haven't... there are plenty of good falafel places in the city lol
2. Falafel Taste Middle East , near the White Tower is the best palce you can eat falafel in the city( according to me). You can find it in Agora Modiano too (see Modiano category)
3. Falafel House is nice too
4. Giok Balik has falafels too (see gyros category)

Slow Food:

Ψησταριές/κρεατικά/rotisserie-barbecue style/meat:

1. Τηγανιές και σχάρες. Two restaurants in Ladidika and near the French institute. In the past, I used to select for delivery one of the 6 menus. When visiting the restaurant I enjoy Kontosouvli which is just amazing. Any of the three (pork, chicken, or sheep). The "hanged" souvlaki is great too. In the restaurant ,in Ladadika they have some amazing stuffed mushrooms too.
2. Diagonios near the white tower. It serves gyros too which is a bit less "fast-food like" but its specialty is Soutzoukakia.
3. Many years ago I had been in Ta Vlahika in Kalamaria. Great time, some may say that it is a traditional place to eat meat.

​
Restaurants:

1. Zythos in Ladadika with much more traditional food. I love Kotsi. The atmosphere is a bit more "old".
2. Ergon Agora amazing place near Agia Sofia. I higly recommend some great dishes.
3. Deka Trapezia near the White tower is my favourite place in the city. Small portions but.. wtf they are amazing. a bit more overpriced I suggest the french fries which are not like the common ones. Anything with fish is amazing.
4. Haroupi in Ladadika is great for Cretan cuisine. My favourite one is Γαμοπίλαφο.

Asian Food:

1. There is a bit weird and underground place to eat Indian food near Svolou Street. It is called Nargis
2. No good Chinese and Japanese food found yet. Most of the ones I have tried are a bit overpriced and marginally above average.+ I forget the names all the time lol

Agora Modiano:

Agora Modiano is one of my favorite places to eat in Thessaloniki. It's a Stoa Market, an enclosed market in English. It has multiple, mostly fast food, restaurants to eat.
Right one the following brands (talking about eating) are there:

1. Pescaderia (no review yet)
2. Oshsenkopf (German brand with mostly hotdogs. I enjoyed a lot some friends of mine didn't. Probably the only place in the city I have found fast food with sauerkraut and enjoyed)
3. Hatzi dessert shop. (check review in another category)
4. Terkenlis (check review in another category)
5. Aivali (I have been in their main restaurant. Their main restaurant is by the sea, and while I used to love it right now I would not suggest it. Only the view is great)
6. Avgothiki (no review yet)
7. Falafel "tastmiddleeast" (check falafel category)
8. Tarantino (check burger category)
9. Mister Mpampatsikos (no review yet)
10. ΓΡΝ (check gyros category)
11. Picco is a place where you can find Pinsas. It's nice, tasty, and big portions but a bit expensive. I suggest sharing one Pinsa between two people.
12. Cevicheria (no review yet)
13. Hive2o (no review yet)
14. Estrella (it's a brunch place but I am not familiar with the "genre". I would suggest finding another place for brunch though.

​
PS. A second post will follow with taverns, bougatsa, pastry etc, cooked food, Mexican/Caribbean, and meme places to eat. I apologize for my poor English. I am free for suggestions and corrections

Husband and I sit down to dine at a Chinese buffet in Texas. Weather conditions weren't ideal and the restaurant occupied 2 other diners at the time - 2 middle aged black ladies. They were happily chatting away as we took our seats with our food.
Not too long after a party of 5 (white people) show up with a young boy, dressed in a party hat. It's his birthday I presume. They're seated in the middle as they wait for another guest. They're enjoying the kid's birthday lunch. The kid is having fun.
One of the ladies dining before us walked up to the kid's table, wished him a happy birthday, made small talk and handed him cash with a smile. Everyone watched in surprise with big fat smiles.
The kid thanks her, giggles, asks her if she was rich. To which she says, "Yes, I am rich. And today you are too!"
He tells her that he is not rich because his family said otherwise.
She tells him, "You are rich today, and if you believe it, you are rich! Don't let anyone change how you feel about yourself." They all smiled, laughed, and the lady returned to her seat.
I watched it all and couldn't stop smiling rest of the afternoon.
I specified their races with intent to add to black positivity in times where their race is always called out when something unethical happens. There are good people in every community.