He loves me gospel song lyrics

lyrics that you can relate to

2015.08.23 17:20 kianworld lyrics that you can relate to

go claim this subreddit if you want it... i never ran this the way i should have

2010.06.11 03:56 Good Indie and Alternative Rock Bands?


2013.11.29 04:27 What So Not

A subreddit dedicated to Sydney-based electronic music producer Chris Emerson, AKA What So Not.

2023.03.29 12:18 crazedfishuk TFL loves Mike Bubbles

TFL loves Mike Bubbles submitted by crazedfishuk to london [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 12:17 senecaa22 I feel so broken and don’t know how much more I can handle

How can you ever trust anyone again, I hate the loneliness of knowing in life I’ll never can be lived, I don’t deserve it, that the only person who wanted me also was the person who’d call me an attention whore, replaced me and would leave and I’d beg to speak to him giving him more reasons to think I am the narc. Why am I like this, when someone shows me I mean nothing, that they can replace me, wrongfully accuse me and I am the one wanting to talk and be an adult . It’s like when you have gone through shut your whole life, you beg people who treat you like shit ti just give you some tiny respect and it feels awful . It’s feels awful being trashed, told someone else is better, that I am just some left over dirty woman no one wants . I honestly am not someone could ever love, I am nothing and it hurts ti be on your own your whole life, being refrigered about the past , I know the person accused me to make me the bad person while he just replaced me , and then says best way is go no contact with a narc. He wrote “ this is enough reason for me to do it “ when it’s about seeing someone else as if he didn’t before. He accuses me for talking to him cause I couldn’t find anyone else , so he doesn’t feel bad for just leaving without ever talking to me . I am just this hurt me monster being left fur this better woman .I was never even a friend . I hate myself for being so weak years ago. For not letting go ehen he hurt me, for not waking away , instead he is the one who broke my heart and now I am the one who is the bad one he is leaving so should know he deserves better . It’s all fucked . I hate myself so much right now. It hurts so much being invalidated it hurts so much being ignored and removed like I never existed like I am the horrible one like he didn’t do anything . Like he is the victim and I am the villain and deserve this . How can someone accuse you torture you for so long and then leave making you the bad one and how you should miss them like I was the cheater , like k was the one who ruined it all and he walked away .
submitted by senecaa22 to TrueNarcissisticAbuse [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 12:16 in_the_flowers Anger outbursts but unable to FEEL anger in my body?

So, like many...had a difficult childhood. Grew up with a single mum who I suspect had borderline personality disorder or something similar. She would swing between very maternal and then very distant, avoidant and busy with boyfriends. She very sadly took her life when I was in my 20's. It's created a myriad of issues of course, the usual anxiety and feeling responsible for other's feelings, anxious attachment in relationships though I've grown a lot in that area.
One thing which keeps coming up for me is ANGER. I'm 37 and a first time mum to an almost 2 year old with my partner who I've been with for around 8 years.
My partner who I love dearly can also drive me absolutely bananas with his forgetfulness and carelessness. It's like it all builds up and I will suddenly just lose my shit at him. It's understandable to not want to have to do all the thinking in a relationship and he has definitely stepped up over the years and tried to improve himself. But it's like my reactions can be just so over the top.
I can also just suddenly SNAP at my bub... again it's understandable when you are sleep deprived and toddlers push every last button. I do my best to follow gentle/respectful parenting so it's important to me to know myself and become better at self regulation. But it's like I just can't feel the anger in my body until my mouth has already opened and I'm yelling!
Anything you read about self regulation or gentle parenting it's about feeling the anger and finding the pause before you react.
For me I feel a sudden surge in my head, my heart will race and before I know it my outburst has happened.
But my therapist has explained that these sensations are more to do with anxiety rather than anger.
In several of our sessions she has tried to help me get in touch with how anger feels in my body and it's like I just can't get in touch with it, I feel like it's physically BLOCKED and I just feel so vague about it. She seems to think anxiety comes up to mask the anger.
I mean yes sometimes I can feel my jaw tense up in the moment of anger but that's about it. If she asks me to talk her through different moments past and present where I've had an outburst I just can't get in touch with the feeling of anger.
I wonder if because I felt responsible for my mum's happiness while growing up I somehow blocked feelings of anger? ie she didn't love herself, so if I didn't love her or if I showed anger then what would become of her?
So if I can't feel my anger how am I supposed to ride the wave of it and stop these outbursts? It's beyond frustrating.
My therapist is helping me to chip away at it but meanwhile I wanted to know if anyone can relate?
submitted by in_the_flowers to mentalhacks [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 12:15 Chief_Whizz Steering Clear of Legalism

Hi Christianity,
I hope you are very well today.
I'm writing as husband to a wife who suffers from scrupulosity (or Religious OCD) and anxiety, to request your guidance on a topic that worries me. I would be really grateful for your support.
In short, her anxiety and her Christian upbringing lead her towards a more legalistic doctrine and belief system. She believes in salvation by grace through faith, and not salvation by works... but she does thinks that works are necessary to prove one's faith and therefore to 'earn' grace. I think many of us would agree with this to an extent: salvation is through faith, but there are certain things that a truly faithful person would do, and some that he or she wouldn't. However, it's taken to an extreme in her mind that goes beyond this healthy understanding.
In the event, her faith and her goodness as a person lead her to wonderful works anyway: she is naturally kind, generous, caring, loving and loyal. It's just that her scrupulosity and past experience conspire to push her towards a maximalist interpretation of biblical laws - which seem to go beyond the core principles of living with love, goodness and righteousness, into a world of legalistic instructions that control how she has to behave and live her life. There is even a reasonable argument that this actually comes at the expense of her observance of her faith, rather than supporting it (in that she does things because she has to or because she's fearful of not doing them, rather than because she is feeling the intent and the Christian values underlying the action).
This isn't a comment about legalistic interpretations of Christianity generally, so I hope I won't cause any offence. It's the combination of those doctrines with her mental health issue, which is potentially dangerously anxiety-inducing. So, does anyone have any suggestions as to how to break free from legalism to observe faith in a way that may pose fewer risks to her mental health?
I hope this is a reasonable question as I ask with the best intentions, but please do correct any misunderstandings that I may have expressed.
Thanks in advance.
submitted by Chief_Whizz to Christianity [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 12:15 Sea_Project5293 Brother (33M) leaving creepy messages. What do I (29F) do?

I am a woman (29F) with a low-contact relationship with my family. After undergoing therapy this year, I discovered that I have abusive parents who display narcissistic and negligent traits.
I have an older brother, 33M. We were forced to stay indoors as children, deprived from the opportunity to socialise. During that time, he joined some scary men groups, the ones where they hate women.
My brother and I drifted apart. He was violent with his words, calling me stupid and that I needed plastic surgery to fix my face, and then blaming me for having a victim complex if I reprimanded him for it. The worst thing happened when I was 22, and he beat me for disagreeing with him on women's rights.
I haven't seen him in person for three years. I tried speaking with my parents about the trauma, but they brush it off and I end up having to comfort them for being sad that their children don't get along.
My brother tries to engage by messaging. He never apologised for beating me, because he didn't want to say words that he didn't mean. Instead, he wants to pretend that nothing ever happened. So, he texts and says that he's watching me, that he's looking at my (private) social media, that he knows all my secrets. He says that he loves the smell of me, that he rolls around in my childhood bed.
It scares me, but my parents don't have my back, and I feel that I'm cornered into tolerating this behaviour. If I block him, then I'll get guilt-tripped and told that I'm a bad person. If I'm too confrontational, I'm worried that he'll get into one of his rages and start breaking things again. I don't know what to do. Does anyone have a good bit of advice for this situation?
TLDR - Brother is creepy, what do I do?
submitted by Sea_Project5293 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 12:13 SteveKfpv First go at OSL on a cheap Wizkids mini

First go at OSL on a cheap Wizkids mini
I can't post this on my Instagram as I did this as a birthday present for my brother in April (he loves plague doctors) but he doesn't have Reddit!. I'm super happy with the outcome so just wanted to share. Feel free to tell me it's amazing or terrible and what I could have done better. Took about 2.5 hours
submitted by SteveKfpv to minipainting [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 12:12 yntenytantye What can I respond with if someone "famous" rapped on my beat and "released" it?

Ok so I made a beat (just a 808 and lead), and some "famous" producer added hats and claps online, then he let "famous" rappers use the beat.
I am in sobriety and they made a song talking about percs, and mdma the whole song.
Can I get this crap deleted if I didnt upload it to distrokid? They paid me nothing and have 100k+ streams.
submitted by yntenytantye to NoStupidQuestions [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 12:11 LiloplusStitch 27 [F4M] UK/Europe, looking to build a deep connection through friendship/relationship

I am a 27 year old female who resides in the UK. I am currently a masters student and work as a part-time support worker. Everyone around me says I am caring and have a kind heart. I have traveled a bit around Asia and now I am hoping to explore Europe. I love peace of mind and building an emotional connection. Just a bit about me: I am quite traditional,im I'm a Christian, I have never been in a relationship and never kissed a guy before.
My hobbies include: MMA- Krav Maga and boxing Taking long walks Hiking Watching crime/nature documentaries Fitness
I would like a guy to believe in God (not necessarily a church goer). Is NOT into pornography, Does NOT drink and does NOT smoke either. Rather he is serious about life and has a good head on his shoulders, consistent, respectful and a good listener. A guy who takes care of his personal hygiene well.
SERIOUS guys only please.
If you want to find out more about me, Please just send me a PM :).
Have a blessed day to all who read this!
submitted by LiloplusStitch to r4r [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 12:10 tossashit TIFU by (maybe?) getting fisted

I’m gay and recently single so, you know what that means. Time to slut it up.
I’ve been meeting a few guys here and there, and as a very keen and enthusiastic bottom I’ve been having a lot of fun, until now.
I met a guy last week, a sexy Austrian daddy type guy, and we had sex. Part way through he started to go a bit soft, so to keep things going we put me on all fours on the bed and he started to finger me while I wanked myself off. Now, usually I don’t use much lube. My ass isn’t some cavernous tunnel that fits anything inside it, but usually a bit of spit and foreplay is enough for me. In my experience, lube can sometimes actually cause more pain and frustration as things slide in too easily when they shouldn’t.
So away he goes, pumping his fingers in and out of me, and at points it feels like he’s putting more than just the usual 1-3 fingers I would expect. At one point I have to tell him to stop because it hurts too much and it feels like he’s closer to putting his entire fist in me. Some gays love that, but not for me at my experience level.
So we finish up, I go home, and the next day a really bad cold begins to develop. I’m coughing non stop, sneezing, shivering, sweating, all of it. The more I cough, the more pain I start to feel in my asshole. I have a bath and feel around there to try and figure out what’s wrong and it feels like I have a haemorrhoid. The combination of rough sex and intense coughing has obviously done my asshole no favours. I’ve had one or two before and usually just a bit of cream or ointment fixes it up and I’m back to normal. However, ointments don’t seem to be working now. And the haemorrhoid is so painful that I can’t poop without crying. It’s been 4 days and I still haven’t pooped. I usually go 2-3 times a day, and now I’ve missed at least 8 poops.
I took a laxative and that did nothing. I’m now in a hot bath wondering if I’ll ever poo again because it is pure agony. I’ve seen a doctor and she just told me to keep eating and not hold my poo in (as if I’m purposefully doing it). I’m scared I’m going die in a poo explosion or that it’ll come back up out my mouth like I’ve heard in horror stories.
My next step is to go get a stool softener and pray it works but I’m not feeling hopeful. I’ve also now been sick for 5 days and have not stopped coughing, every one causing pain and probably making my haemorrhoid worse.
TLDR: Got (almost) fisted, had a bad coughing fit, gave myself piles and haven’t been able to poop for 4 days.
submitted by tossashit to tifu [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 12:10 briashenim Relationship Rant (Long 😅)

Anyone else literally OVER their SO after having a kid with them? Little backstory - my fiancé and I have been together almost 4 years. When we met, he had a 6 month old son with ex which they tried to stay together for SS but it was just a no. I practically dropped everything for him and his kid. Would take care of him, watch him on my days off, daycare drop off, even baby momma drop off (we got along). After almost 2 years I didn’t want to do any of that anymore. It was overwhelming, I was resenting SS, didn’t want to see baby momma, and just wanted my life back. So I stopped doing daycare drop offs and minimized responsibilities involving his kid, so he could do them. Things got better. Fast forward, I decided I wanted a baby of my own, upon many reasons but that I wanted the bond with my child that I didn’t have with SS and SO. Fast forward again, the first 3-4 months after birth I was literally doing everything on my own. No help from him. To this day, he doesn’t help with night sleeping, which my 8mo wakes every few hours. Blah blah blah, there’s just so much I could write. Around that time I had a talk with him that he needed to step up and be a dad and help me out with things. New Years I told him I wasn’t sure if I was in love with him anymore. Since then, here and there he tries to make an effort and do the things I’ve previously asked him to do & helping out more but at that point I was just so over it and checked out that it didn’t matter to me. Congrats, you washed the bottles today, want a cookie? Like EVERYTHING irritates the living hell out of me I can’t stand being around him. It’s awful. He’s a great guy, but a very minimal dad and that’s not the experience I wanted to have. I feel disappointed and alone and I just don’t think I want to do this anymore. I know this was a long one, thank you for reading. Any advice or similar situations are welcome. I just can’t keep living my days hating being here with him. Side note - I didn’t get PP depression and overall besides this I feel completely fine. My son is my absolute bestie and I love having him around.
submitted by briashenim to NewParents [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 12:06 flowergirlknown Why tf not

For as little as I talk about my sex life I sure get invited to a lot of swingers “dinners” like today. Damn I was excited to get the invite for dinner. This guy Moto Moto!! But there is a catch. His beautiful GF will be there. I thought he was talking about a puppy lol I didn’t know he had a gf. But shit if she wasn’t as hot as him. I’m single I can do what I want and at least this guy is 100% up front with me and ya know what? Why the fuck not!!! NOW why I’m really here…….Reddit is a sham. My ridiculous, self absorbed piece of trash garbage dicked ex , let’s call him Ben. is all over this site with 100’s of profiles with his “wife GF SO partner gay bro trans cis bottom” lmao he says he is autistic and dyslexic and gay bi trans depressed forever alone suicidal loyal empathetic, schizophrenic, bipolar, BPD, high on mushrooms, bdsm and I’m sure many many many more. And sure with his 450,000 multiple personality disorders he probably has most of those but he also loves gaming Syfy crypto Legos, Star Wars transgender’s BBW anything gay, rape, fantasies, hentai anexity anything that has to do with hating women because he does because of his mother and anything you tell him he has or will become. Whatever you are. He is. He is everyones twinflame. Everyone’s soulmate he says he is M(24) all the time on here.he sells his hot 🤢wife’s ass to anybody on here🎥🎬. Careful she has herpes. He is 46 lives at home with his mom and dad who are perfectly healthy and can take care of themselves way better than this junkie of methamphetamine and alcoholic, hard-core alcoholic, porn, addicted, hooker, addicted, sex addicted, video game, addicted, gambling addicted, lying addicted, thief, addicted, and when I say porn, I mean he cannot stop watching it. He cannot stop making it as shitty and stupid as it is he pulls people off of tinder Facebook, dating grinder and any of my friends or exes. He could find that will fall over with their butt holes in the air. He filmed them without their knowledge and put it on the Internet and makes money off of us, without our knowledge or permission. I caught him in the act because his girlfriend was catching a live stream and started posting on Reddit about it about him, complementing me and her telling him you don’t have to complement her. You don’t have to flatter her……She lets call her Tina,is just a big of a pig as he is she’s at home masturbating to her boyfriend having sex with me, what a fucking sicko. What the fuck is wrong with you I grew up with you you nasty cow you’re fucked in the head and I hope you’re miserable every day. I hope you stay as miserable as you are today because I know that you know that you’re disgusting and filthy And it’s because somebody fucked with you and you can’t let it go you can’t get help enough that’s how fucked up you are that you continue to put it on other people and I know that U2 go below 18 you’re filthy you’re disgusting you’re both pigs and you will get caught Because there’s people watching you know how do you like that did you ask to be watched no the fuck you did not. Did you ask to be filmed? No the fuck you did not. Did you ask to be recorded? No the fuck you did not, but guess who doesn’t care the motherfucking FBI U2 idiots have ruined Reddit I’m out
submitted by flowergirlknown to venting [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 12:02 Imaginary_Beyond_642 Can someone tell me if there’s a meaning to this dream?

I woke up from this dream with a racing heart and I was literally shaking. Here’s the dream:
(A lot a random things happened before this but they don’t matter and they’re completely unrelated)
Me and my friend were sitting in my car on the top of a parking garage just talking about what we were going to do next when I noticed a plane falling from the sky very slowly. It wasn’t on fire, but there was a lot of smoke coming from it that trailed through the sky.
I quickly opened the door of my car and got a closer look. (I don’t remember the name of the airline the plane belonged to, but it was a bigger plane). The parking garage I was in was right next to a major highway and the plane was right over the road, so it was extremely close.
All of the sudden, the plane froze in mid air, so I ran closer, leaving my car behind and took out my phone to take a picture of it. My friend was gone, but she was replaced with my dad who I could see in the frame of my phone camera.
When I put my phone down, the plane quickly dropped then froze in the air again. The wings dissapeared and the plane finally hit the ground, causing a huge explosion and you could physically feel the ground shake because of how close we were to it.
I shouted “Oh shit” and started running back to my car. (It was dream running though, I was basically moving in slow motion). On my way back, the other people watching from the garage started clapping as they saw the crew falling from the sky, each one of them supported by a parachute.
That’s when I looked up to the sky again. All of the passengers were falling from the sky, so I was glad they were okay.
But I watched as one guy was falling down to the parking garage. When he got close, he hit the ground and his body bounced up upon impact. (You could literally hear his landing, including the sound of his bones cracking, just like in the movies).
Someone screamed, so I looked back up, still dream running back to my car, and noticed the other hundred passengers also falling from the sky, all having the same fate as the guy from before.
None of their parachutes worked.
There were thuds and cracking sounds all around me. Bodies kept hitting the ground, but I kept making my way back to my car. It started raining blood, but I refused to look up, I just kept dream running. My dad was gone and I was running back to my car with some guy I’ve seen before, I just didn’t know who he was.
Avoiding getting pelted by a body and ignoring the screams of the people around me, I found my car. Before me and the other guy made it, there was some random passenger from the plane that survived his fall, but he was severely injured and delusional. He was covered in blood and his leg was broken. You could see his bone sticking out through his skin.
“Does either one of you have I car I could borrow?” He asked with an evil smile on his face. “And I’m not holding an exacto knife.” I looked down and he was literally holding an exacto knife.
Before I could run again, he stabbed the guy that I was with in the neck, and I turned quickly and ran back to my car.
Then I woke up.
I’ve had a dream before with the same ending with the guy and the exacto knife, but not the events that happened before so I thought it was wierd.
I’ve had worse dreams, but this one freaked me out. I didn’t shoot up in bed like I usually do, I woke up but I kept my eyes closed and I was breathing so fast.
If anyone thinks they know what this dream means I’d love to hear it. I’m pretty freaked out by it.
submitted by Imaginary_Beyond_642 to DreamMeaning [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 12:02 annakaranina What's your interpretation of Taco Truck x VB?

What do you think this song is about? What do you think the significance is of the VB sample?
I haven't been able to fully dive into the album because I've been busy but I read the lyrics of most of the album and I skimmed through the songs. When I heard Taco Truck I was a little unclear on what Lana's vision was for this song. For instance, fingertips is very obviously about her family and her place in the world. Sidenote: fingertips may have taken the place hope is a dangerous thing had in my heart
This isn't me criticising the song by any means. I'm just curious about everyone's thoughts on the lyrics and the VB sample. With how detailed Ocean Boulevard is I dont think any song detail was just randomly picked. So with taco truck she probably did have a goal in mind but I don't really understand what it is.
submitted by annakaranina to lanadelrey [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 12:00 nadjp Lyrical lyrics chingoose... can't wait! The effort YG puts into this album 🤯

Lyrical lyrics chingoose... can't wait! The effort YG puts into this album 🤯 submitted by nadjp to kpoopheads [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 11:57 AussieAdam26 Help using Auto ISO with Manual Flash settings

I’m an a7iv user and exclusively use manual settings. But recently, a Canon shooter showed me how he sets his camera to Auto ISO and flash to 1/16.
That way, during wedding receptions, capturing different lighting situations, the flash will provide some light and the Auto ISO will provide the extra exposure where necessary. Love it!
When I try it on my a7iv, my auto ISO chooses a setting of approx 10,000 and massively over exposed the image (completely white and unusable).
Anyone know why this is and how I fix it to perform like my colleagues?
submitted by AussieAdam26 to WeddingPhotography [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 11:56 Copycompound Please don't judge, I need sincere advice

Tl;Dr how to make BDSM fantasies work for my husband?
My husband is into really hard BDSM porn. Porn where women are gagged, whiplashed naked until they faint, their wounds are sprayed with salt water... Women crying and bagging for mercy, but won't get it.
People are into what they are into. I am not judging him for it.
But I also know that I cannot at all imagine myself liking and doing this for sexual arousal. Someone taking my autonomy away and hurting me would be my absolute nightmare.
He says he's also conflicted, because he loves me and does not want to hurt me.
I think life is too short to surpress fantasies where there are clearly adult niche communities that share the same kink.
So, I brought up that if he wants to live these fantasies maybe joining a physical community is something. We would have clear agreements what we are both okay with and what not.
But he said that he wants to explore this only with me (if at all), which feels reassuring to hear.
But I also feel bad, because I know I don't want to do this at all.
What to do? Are there other couples here who have outer marriage arrangements or make this work?
submitted by Copycompound to BDSMAdvice [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 11:56 TransieRaidenMain Idk vent

Sometimes I get really jealous seeing other littles talk about their caregiver so fondly, I get jealous seeing them be all happy with their caregiver, which don't get me wrong I'm happy for them, I'm happy they get to be happy with their caregiver, but I'm jealous cuz I can't have that, my papa doesn't even talk to me anymore, he doesn't even say hi or how are you to me anymore, it's like I don't exist to him anymore and it makes me so sad and upset cuz I still love and care about my papa but I don't even know if he loves or cares about me, it's been almost a year since he's actually talked to me, and it's been almost half a year since he last told me he loves me, and yet I still hang on, I still tell him that I love him every day in hopes that he will change and come back to me even tho I know that's not true. At this point he's not caregiver, he's just a giver, cuz he doesn't care enough to give, and instead of actually trying to talk to me, he just makes his boyfriend talk on his behalf, which I love his boyfriend, he's really sweet but I don't want to talk to him, I want to talk to my papa, I wan papa. I just want to feel safe and loved again
submitted by TransieRaidenMain to ageregression [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 11:55 bitbit1111 Am I toxic or am I being gaslighted?

I need your opinion about my situation because at this moment I feel all over the place and I don’t know what to think. I (25F) was deeply in love with a man (33M) who firstly was my long time friend (7 years) and then we caught feelings. He was my safest space when we were friends but once we became more than friends he started acting very inconsistent, on and off, then he would dissapear but then would always find excuses, always played a victim and everytime I forgave and forgave because I truly loved him unconditionally. after 4 years of on and off, I want to mention that he never called me his girlfriend, I was a friend and we had a special, one of a kind connection. The connection and bond was really special and deep, very powerful and the understanding we had with each other was till this day exceptional for me. He said the same that he had no person in his life who understood him as much as I did and that he trusted that much. Everytime I asked him what was the problem, if we had very intense sexual chemistry, soul connection, friendship, understanding, great fun together, what was the problem of starting a relationship. He would answer me that he was afraid of losing me and in the past he has hurt and lost every woman he was in a relationship with and that he is “sick”. I still encouraged him to just try and to not be afraid and we agreed to be more than friends but we hadn’t labelled the relationship. That time I spent 1 month in the country he was living we became closer and closer, would hang out every day and it was just magical, everything was perfect, the comfort and harmony we shared with each other. It was obvious that apart of having understanding of each other as friends on such a deep level for years, it was even more comfortable when we were together, cuddling and sharing love. After a month he confessed in his feelings to me and told me he was deeply in love with me and that he was grateful that I was patient enough with him. It was a long distance relationship, and we agreed that he would visit me for 2 weeks in August. before August he had to visit his hometown for a month and during this whole month he never called me. Ever. Just liked my pictures and replied to my stories, not even texted me how was I doing. As I knew about his commitment fears and attachment fears I tried my best to have understood him but his behaviour was still hurting me. When 3 weeks passed and he never initiated a call I called him and told him that the lack of communication we had was very much hurting me and that I didn’t think it was normal, and I asked him if there was anything he wanted to talk about because I felt change in his attitude. He answered that everything was the way it was, his feelings for me haven’t changed and he is looking forward to visiting me. It was just he was spending time with his friends and family and didn’t want to spend much time on his phone. He became more attentive after that talk, he would text me in every 3–5 days but still never called and the texts were very dry. I kept soothing myself by remembering that he was planning to come visit me in August and use all his vacation days to spend with me. So I didn’t want to make a scene or make it difficult, so I waited. And 2 weeks before he had to visit me he called me and told me that he can’t make it for 2 weeks because his parents are moving to another home and he needs to fly back to his hometown and help them and so he will only visit me for 4–5 days. I told him that I feel really frustrated and that he never keeps his word, he never finds time for me and I never feel prioritized and I told him I had to go to sleep because I had work early. In reality I never slept I felt so crushed and hurt. I never for a second believed that there was no way and that he and to help his parents. The next day he called me once and I didn’t pick up the phone, I was still very mad and didn’t even know what I wanted to say because I clearly didn’t feel like I wanted him to visit me anymore. After 2 weeks I reached out to him and explained that I was not intending abandoning or ghosting him, I just needed some time for healing and was still not ready to talk and maybe it would have been better if both of us would think about everything, what we need and want and then talk about it in person. I told him that I would fly to his city in a month and we can talk everything through not over the phone but in person. Before visiting his city I texted him how he was and if he was in the city. He said that he was ok and yes he is there. Then I told him that I booked my flights during these dates and then he never responded. When I arrived there I called him and he hung up the phone once he heard my voice and completely ignored me. I wrote to him a letter where I told him that I saw my part in all of this and tried to own my actions and apologize way earlier, however he never gave me a chance. He never responded to my message. And now I have that feeling that everything is blamed on me, as if I am viewed as a monster in all black who is not to be trusted and at all costs avoided. It kills my heart to think that, because all these years I was always forgiving, supportive, empathetic, loving and only once I slipped and shut down emotionally. Again because the way he was acting, making me feel like the last priority, it was always about his needs but never mine and now he is acting as if everything’s my fault and I’m toxic. Especially after I apologized for my behaviour he started sharing some posts on instagram how manipulative some people are and how snakes will apologize when they don’t get their way. It’s killing me inside and I feel total agony because I never intended manipulating him nor do I think I am a snake, nor toxic. This behaviour of mine, shutting down and ignoring him for 2 weeks was immature, I totally take responsibility and would never do it again but compared to all the things he has done over the years not seeing his role is just unexplainable to me. He had many toxic relationships before and always talked how his exes hurt him and how they were all toxic. Either this is true and as he is traumatized from relationships he is too cautious and easily triggered and defensive, or his exes were never a problem and never crazy. He cut me off completely without a single word, all this. years of friendship and love was just crossed like that.
Please tell me your thoughts. Am I really toxic? Or am I normal?
Thank you in advance
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2023.03.29 11:53 Wonderful-Ad1478 me and my boyfriend don't love eachother but he's nice enough to stay with me to help me get rid of my attachment issues

I Female 18 have a boyfriend male 16, we met back in 2015, he ended up with a huge crush on me but I didn't feel the same back then but in August 2020 we became closer and started dating even though I still didn't love him, I wanted to at least give him a chance, I've become attached since early 2021 and just can't leave him, there's no love it's just attachment, I spend every single day of the week with him and I basically have no other friends outside of him, he knows about this attachment and even though he doesn't love me anymore he's nice enough to stay with me untill I figure out how to stop these attachment issues, and we promise to stay friends whenever we do breakup for good but that's really tearing me appart because even though I never really loved him whatever new girl comes along will just not understand that, my boyfriend said that when we eventually break up he won't date anyone that isn't okay with me and him still being friends, he thinks that now but because he hasn't loved anyone in so long I think he forgets how much you'd do for someone you want so badly, if he finds a new girl that he wants so badly and she wants him to stop talking to me even though I never loved him he's 100% going to drop me for her and I'm scared because since we met he never talked to other girls at all really but since he's been in 5th year he's been introduced to about 4 new girls and I know at some point he'll eventually find one he likes, me and him have been through a lot of shit together over the years so I can't just cut him out of my life, I've tried to 3 times in the last 2 years and he tried to leave 4 times but he always initiated us getting back together i just don't want him out of my life and he says he doesn't want me out of his life too but I know someone else he dates will be the reason we can't talk to eachother anymore no matter how much he promises me that he won't date anyone that's not okay with us hanging and I don't know what to do, times ticking, one of these days I'll blink and he'll be blocked on all my soical media and we haven't spoken in forever, Reddit what do I do? And don't say "cut him out of your life" that shit just ain't happening, he means way too much to me
submitted by Wonderful-Ad1478 to offmychest [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 11:51 fisheee_cx Tonight has been really rough

I’ve basically been living with my boyfriend since my cat died and I’m back at my apartment alone tonight for just the 2nd time. The first time I came back I felt surprisingly ok, until morning when I turned to look for my cat when I woke up before I remembered he’s gone. I thought this time would be similar but it’s so much harder tonight.
I just miss him so much. I can’t stop crying. He was with me for 12 years and I thought it would be even longer. When I was sad he was my comfort, and I feel like I don’t know what to do without him.
He had kidney disease and I know I did everything I could at the time, but sometimes I can’t get away from the guilt over everything I wish I had done differently. I just hope he was as happy as I thought and that he knew how much I loved him. It hurts so much to think I’ll never see him again.
submitted by fisheee_cx to Petloss [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 11:50 MLGCream [Chinese > English] Stay by Night Keepers (VOEZ Album)

Can someone help me translate these lyrics? I've checked around, and no one has ever added lyrics to it on Genius, Spotify, or Musixmatch. I would appreciate if someone could help me with adding the lyrics so I could understand it. Thank you!
Link to the song
submitted by MLGCream to translator [link] [comments]

2023.03.29 11:49 amambear My baby girl is HERE🎀

Baby girl was born on March 28th at 5:42pm weighing 7 lbs 2.5 oz and 20.5 inches long 😭
It’s mindblowing that she weighs the exact same as her brother did when he was born!
I had originally planned to have a c-section due to me having genital herpes. It came time for me to get ready for surgery, had already talked to anesthesiologist and everything and I got really scared and anxious about going through with it. Discussed it with my OB and opted to do an induction instead!
I got my epidural before my OB broke my water, the epidural only took to my right side so once my water was broken I got situated lying on my left side with the peanut ball and upped the dose of epidural which thankfully helped spread the epidural to the left side.
It took a little while to dilate to 10cm but we finally got there! My nurse had me do one practice push and she said “Oh yeah, don’t push I’m going to grab the doctor” 😂 he came in, got everything ready and baby girl was out after 3 pushes! And I was left with only a first degree tear 🥳
Now here I am at almost 5am, just got done eating a sandwich while my husband and daughter are sound asleep.
I’ve been successfully nursing her, too!! I wasn’t planning on latching at all because I wanted to exclusively pump but none of the flanges or flange inserts I have are the right size! So until I am able to purchase some flanges that actually fit, nursing or combo feeding will have to do lol.
It still feels so surreal! I can’t believe she’s really here even though I’m looking right at her!
Anywayssss, just thought I’d share my graduation with you lovely moms! 💕
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