Hi everyone, last year I started volunteering with Food for All (https://foodforalluk.com/) delivering hot meals every other Saturday to people in need. It's been great! I've met some wonderful people committed to this work, got some miles in and delivered to my regular stops within 2ish hours. (It hasn't rained once since I joined, which is kind of weird and amazing)
We're looking for a couple more cyclists to help us; you can do it once a week or as often as you can, pick up is near King's Cross on Saturday morning at a reasonable 11am and deliveries are grouped by area so they're all close to each other. All you need is a bicycle and a way to carry some meals, be it panniers or a rucksack.
Do you have a couple hours to volunteer and want to get involved? Send me a message and I'll send you all the details. One of our regular cyclists is leaving us for a few months for the cycling trip of a lifetime but is happy to show you the ropes this weekend or the next. Come and join us!
Thanks!

Hey everyone,
I just wanted to know what you all think about the competitiveness of MLS programs. In my program, which is a 4+1, only 6 out of ~50 were admitted, but other programs are competitive as well. I suppose in this instance it's because it's an internship with a stipend so they can't afford to train more people, but even tuition-based programs are competitive. There were also not many schools offering an MLS degree in undergrad near me at the time. Considering the shortage this field seems to have and how the field is not really recognized, I don't understand why there seem to be barriers entering the field. Does anyone have any thoughts or insight on this?

Attractive people want to be near attractive people.
I’m stuck on you and it’s pathetic.
You would never look at me that way.
I was so happy yesterday, so excited to see you… nervous and looking forward to it and today I’m just realising what a fucking old ugly idiot I am.
I wish I was beautiful.
I wish I never emailed you.
I wish I didn’t act like a fucking desperate loser.
I wish I could cut you out of me.
You don’t miss me.
I don’t think I should see you. I want you. I want you to want me.
It will never.

Hi everyone, last year I started volunteering with Food for All (https://foodforalluk.com/) delivering hot meals every other Saturday to people in need. It's been great! I've met some wonderful people committed to this work, got some miles in and delivered to my regular stops within 2ish hours. (It hasn't rained once since I joined, which is kind of weird and amazing)
We're looking for a couple more cyclists to help us; you can do it once a week or as often as you can, pick up is near King's Cross on Saturday morning at a reasonable 11am and deliveries are grouped by area so they're all close to each other. All you need is a bicycle and a way to carry some meals, be it panniers or a rucksack.
Do you have a couple hours to volunteer and want to get involved? Send me a message and I'll send you all the details. One of our regular cyclists is leaving us for a few months for the cycling trip of a lifetime but is happy to show you the ropes this weekend or the next. Come and join us!
Thanks!

Wow its been more than a month since I open reddit. How are you? Damn I miss having real dates. Im already tired of playing games and fire only. Well it will be more fun if its with connection and sparks right?. Im just around makati and near bgc hehe. so hit me up if your G.
Im 5'6 tall so hoping you're taller than me hehe. ayoko lang magmukhang nanay mo 😂. check my other post for more things about me ☺.

Warning: Top 5% Household Income
I (M35) haven't posted before, and thought people might be interested in our family's journey so far (M35, F34, two kids almost 3 and 6 months old). We're based in the South East in Commuter belt territory - 1 hour train into London for work.
This has turned into a bunch of tables more than I expected, but hopefully conveys our journey so far, salary progression, and expenses.
​
Net worth Progression
To note: We bought our first property (2 bed house, commuter belt) in Dec 2015 with £39k (10%) down and £5k to stamp duty, £2k solicitor fees. I borrowed £7k interest free from relatives which I paid back over two years - and my wife had saved her half. Neither of us have had any significant inheritances (<£2k).
We first heard of FIRE thanks to the crypto rabbit hole leading me to Reddit. None of my family had ever really invested - I started DD'ing £100 a month to get used to the ups and downs and gradually got accustomed to it (Probably helped by my small crypto holding crashing and burning multiple times).

Date	Total NW	Pension	Cash	Investments	Property Equity	Mortgage Balance	Notes
Apr 18	£147k	£68k	£4k	£1k	£79k	-£325k	Pensions were always the min 5% + 5% match
Apr 19	£216k	£81k	£22k	£8k	£110k	-£300k
Apr 20	£282k	£89k	£35k	£10k	£150k	-£260k	Kid #1 born June this year
Apr 21	£429k	£139k	£50k	£57k	£180k	-£525k	Moved into a new house in Apr
Apr 22	£494k	£167k	£37k	£82k	£193k	-£511k	Kid #2 born October this year
Apr 23	£665k	£197k	£22k	£99k	£332k	-£498k	House reappraised at mortgage renewal

Despite the big jumps in investments - a very small proportion is in Crypto (£4-6k) - Haven't checked in a while. The majority is in Global All Cap within Vanguard (Probably should look at moving away from Vanguard soon due to the amounts in here), with some in shares in my wife's company (I keep pestering her to sell them but she hasn't yet).
Our mantra early on was to overpay on the mortgage (2 bed) so that we could eventually ladder up. As we became a bit more accustomed to risk, we started investing rather than overpaying.
​
Salaries and jobs
Him: Economics undergrad. Data Scientist in marketing
Her: Maths undergrad. Trainee Accountant in big four to Business Accountant in Retail

Year	Him	Her	Notes
2009	£22k	£26k	Both started work fresh out of uni
2010	£25k	£27k
2011	£31k	£29k
2012	£37k	£30k
2013	£44k	£38k	Newly qualified Accountant for her
2014	£47k	£55k	New job for her
2015	£54k	£65k	First bonus for her
2016	£60k	£67k
2017	£65k	£70k
2018	£69k	£72k
2019	£80k	£75k	New job for him
2020	£105k	£52k	First bonus for him. Maternity for her
2021	£120k	£59k	4 days/week for her
2022	£120k (90k base)	£67k (£60k base)

I now Salary sacrifice enough into pension to get below £100k for tax-free childcare. The new job has had some strong years and hence big bonuses - a lucky move. Base is currently £90k
​
Current Monthly Expenses

Category	Amount	Notes
Take home	-£7500	£4500 him + £3000 her
Mortgage	£2300	Half way through a 10 year fix on half the outstanding at 2.64%. Just redid the other half at 3.99% after 1.69% (ouch!). 28 years left. Has just gone up over £300 as of this month.
Childcare	£600	Thankfully grandparents take turns to babysit 2 days/week. Wife is off one day. 2 days at Nursery. As one turns three and gets 30 free hours, the other will start
Food - Grocery	£600	Averages around £120 per week. Plus formula is about £80/month (Never realised how much it cost as we breastfed the first!)
Food - Takeaways, Meals out, Pub	£300
Insurances + MOTs + Service + Repairs	£150	Yearly: £700 Insurance for 2 cars, £300 for house, £350 for £400k joint life insurance. £600 for services and MOTs
Energy	£200
Council Tax	£260
Holidays	£800	Certainly a splurge of ours
Petrol and Train Journeys	£500	£40 for a London return 2 days/week adds up!
Misc.	£600	Trips out (excl. food), buying stuff we probably don't need, subscriptions, gifts, personal money. Haven't tracked this properly in a while
Investments Direct Debit	£1200	Goes straight out on the day we get paid

A few years ago I tracked every expense. This fell off the cliff at some point, and I can't even blame it on Covid and the kids. I do go through my bank statements once a month so have a rough idea of what we spend. It isn't tracked meticulously anymore though.
We have two cars - a 2018 Astra (55k miles) which we bought from new (our last car in the pcp cycle), and a 2016 Mazda 6 bought in 2021 (110k miles). We financed car after car throughout our 20s (although only 1 at a time) until we learnt about FIRE.
Home improvements have generally come out of bonuses. But bonuses have also been lumped into pensions to get under £100k these past 2 years. Hopefully Home improvements will reduce in the future as we are near finishing the adjustments to the property that we plan on staying in for the next 20+ years.
​
Savings Rate and FIRE
Our savings rate is (£1500 Pensions + £1200 ISAs) / (£1500 Pensions + £7500 take home) = ~ 30% which according to MMM would mean 28 years if we started at zero. This is ignoring bonuses that make it a bit harder to calculate.
Given we have a £318k starting point, I expect we will be at our loose target of £1.2m (giving £40k/year spend at current prices at a 3.3% SWR) by M50/F49, so 14 years to go (Surprisingly, this matches MMM starting at zero at M22/F21). This is assuming 5% Investment Growth after inflation, paying off the mortgage [to make calculations simpler], and no bonuses. At 7% this reduces by 1 year to M49/F48. At 10% growth this reduces to M46/F45.
I am yet to do an assessment on whether we will have enough in ISAs to bridge the gap but don't see it as too urgent. We don't currently fill our ISAs each year - I'm amazed that some of you do despite earning a lot less than ourselves.
In general, we have a great lifestyle with an okay savings rate. I don't think there is anything ground-breaking in here - just following the slow and steady advice. We could cut back and FIRE quicker, but we're living the life we want and saving for it.
Happy to answer any questions.

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​
Synopsis:
Juliette Contzen is a lazy, good-for-nothing princess. Overshadowed by her siblings, she's left with little to do but nap, read … and occasionally cut the falling raindrops with her sword. Spotted one day by an astonished adventurer, he insists on grading Juliette's swordsmanship, then promptly has a mental breakdown at the result.
Soon after, Juliette is given the news that her kingdom is on the brink of bankruptcy. At threat of being married off, the lazy princess vows to do whatever it takes to maintain her current lifestyle, and taking matters into her own hands, escapes in the middle of the night in order to restore her kingdom's finances.
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Action, Fantasy, Copious Ohohohohos.
​
Chapter 14: Yearning For Stars
Rextros the Black Scar was, incredibly, a man noted for his black scar.
It was his symbol as a survivor. And more importantly, as a winner. He may have a scar, but the man he'd last fought had two broken arms and a big enough gap in his front teeth that he now whistled in between speaking.
Over the years, he'd fought with the best of the worst, turning bars inside out and alleys upside down. As a D-rank pugilist, he regularly left a reminder that of all the mean sods to ply their trade in this land, he was the meanest of them all.
And his reward? His own cozy little forest hideout, complete with a gambling table, a drinks bar and semi-loyal goons. It was everything a good little outlaw wanted. Except that he never wanted to be an outlaw in the first place.
He wanted to be a pianist.
“... Damn … !”
Rextros the Black Scar had no wish to lead his own group of bandits. A cold tent in a damp forest? A dirty camp filled with the stench of a dozen guys who didn't bathe, even though there's a river right next to them?
These weren't the dreams of a normal lad growing up on a farm. But he knew that working the land wasn't for him. His hands were made for more than sowing seeds and milking cows.
It was for playing nocturnes beneath the moonlight, his soul reaching out to gently sweep across the keys faster than his fingers did.
However, that dream wasn't to be.
Once he was old enough that he could no longer sneak his way into fancy bars and ply his budding skills on the pianos reserved for the famous, he knew he had to buy his own. It infuriated him that pianos were the playthings of the nobility. He couldn't even walk into a piano workshop before being tossed out. It was a closed circle for the rich and the few. And that lit a fire in his belly.
So what if the fancy lords and ladies couldn't stomach the thought of a mere peasant like him dirtying their favourite pastime? It wasn't them he'd play for.
Rextros the Black Scar would play for the people.
And he'd play a piano he could move with his heart as much as his hands—a St. Liane baby grand in mahogany red, rolled straight out of the Royal St. Liane Workshop in the middle of the royal capital and onto the bustling street outside.
That was the dream.
A dream which had slid further away with each passing day. The crowns he'd earned from his fights were barely worth the silver needed to hire a sister to stitch himself back up afterwards. And all the callouses on his hands were suddenly around his knuckles and not his fingertips.
Then, like a twisted angel summoned from the lowest abyss, that's when she appeared.
“Rextros the Black Scar. What a dreadfully dull name. It's as if you picked it out from a book of villains. Couldn't you have gone for something more original? The Black Etude, perhaps?”
“Hah? You picking a fight? And what's with that get-up? You hard selling for a casino? I don't gamble, so find someone else to fleece.”
“You say that, but isn't every day a gamble with the law to you? Honestly, however are you going to acquire the funds to buy a St. Liane of all things? You couldn't have picked a more expensive thing even if you tried. Greedy much?”
“... Who are you?! How do you know …”
“Hey, hey, hey. Wanna hear about a get rich quick scheme? Super reliable! Everyone's done it! And don't worry, it has nothing to do with gambling. Unless you want to?”
“D-Don't mess with me, woman! Who are you?! Keep away! I'm no fool—”
Rextros clenched his teeth as he recalled the memory.
He was no fool … Except that he was.
“... Damn … it … all! ...”
He crashed his fist down against his small table beneath his tent.
He'd stopped doing that lately. Firstly, he'd gotten used to the idiocy of his underlings. Secondly, it spilled his crowns everywhere and picking them up from the grass was a pain. If he ever wanted to buy that immaculate St. Liane, he'd need every last crown this rotten venture in poor decision making could get him.
So … how did it all go so wrong?
First it was the type of jobs. They'd started easy. Shaking down couriers and breaking into warehouses. Then they got harder. Not because the couriers got wiser or the warehouses tougher.
It was because he'd pieced together what he'd been stealing—and why.
He'd left in the middle of his last job and never looked back. Not because he had no regrets about running. But because he'd feared he'd see the face of that girl in her casino get-up looking right back at him.
The thought sent shivers running down his spine.
But maybe that was just because of the cold.
A forest. A cold, damp forest. This wasn't much better. But it was easier. Merchants used this road. He left the farmers alone. And the trolls. But the merchants? They took extortion as a business expense. And every now and again, a wandering nobleman and his family would come to hunt, forgetting that they were more likely to be found by the death beetles before they found a deer.
Was it kidnapping? Sure. But he was doing them a favour. The ransom reward was his just earnings. And what a reward they always were.
He was close. So close.
One last gig. One last merchant. One last idiot.
He knew this camp wouldn't last. But it didn't need to. He was so close. Then he could abandon this damp lifestyle and these stinking men and play ballades beneath the acoustic roof of the Reitzlake Grand Bridge.
That girl with a huge gob, haughty expression, fine clothes and dark hair without so much as an inkling of dirt on it was his ticket to freedom. That sword alone looked like it could be traded for any piano he wanted. He was even glad the idiots hadn't taken it from her. If they had, he likely would never have seen it.
Now he wished they'd just tried mugging her and suffered the consequences for it. Their dead bodies weren't likely going to reveal where he was.
“B-Boss … what was that? Who was she? Why did we have to give everything over?”
Rextros smashed his fist against the table again. This time, a cloud of dust came up as a crack appeared.
“Shut up! Shut up, all of you! I'm thinking!”
One by one, his underlings looked at each other with differing amounts of confusion and resentment. They didn't understand. They didn't know.
That girl, that ticket to freedom, was a poisoned bait. She'd come with one purpose and one alone. And that was to remind Rextros that so long as he lived, his obligations remained. He knew it. He'd dreamed it.
And now he feared the consequences of his flight.
But what could he do? That girl's message was clear. No matter where he ran, he would never be allowed to wander freely again. Every crown he stole wasn't his to keep. He wanted an out. But how could he? He'd seen too much. Not on purpose. But that didn't matter. He wasn't as blind as the rest.
And that was a problem.
“Boss! What's going on! That was everything! It was our pay, our weapons, you gave it all away! Who was she?!”
A problem like losing the loyalty of his men.
Forget making back his losses. He'd lose his life if they all turned on him. And he knew for a fact that the knives and daggers they carried were still on them, hidden in their boots and their clothes.
As every pair of eyes turned black, Rextros clenched his fist.
There was only one thing he could do. It was … It was dangerous. But it was his only choice. Not just to make it out of here alive. But to escape with it tomorrow, too.
He had to silence that girl.
Before she could reach her mistress, she had to be dealt with.
That way, he'd have time. That casino girl had to only suspect. Otherwise, she'd be here herself. Despite his fears, he knew she wasn't truly omnipotent. More importantly, it'd mean he'd have the money to flee. Even with just the crowns, he'd have enough to survive. More than enough.
He had to deal with that girl … and yet, if she was anything near as strong as that monster ...
No.
He had no choice. Not if he wanted to survive. Even if she matched him as a fighter, he had to deal with her. Then, he'd get out. Lay low. Flee the kingdom. That St. Liane was beyond his reach. But there were others. A Zelronto, perhaps. Lacking in finishing and incomparable with the tonal brilliance of a St. Liane, but bearable nonetheless.
It was time to leave these idiots behind.
But not without using them one last time.
“Shut up! All of you!”
“But Boss—”
“That girl. She was here on behalf of the Adventurer's Guild.”
“What?!”
The looks of rebellion were quickly replaced by panic.
Rextros smiled internally to himself. It was every outlaw's worst nightmare. Those that weren't him, of course.
The Adventurer's Guild weren't like knights or soldiers, who'd make so much noise looking for them that they could pack up and leave without so much as leaving an empty bottle behind.
Adventurers were hunters. Hunters that got paid absolute jack for the work they did. And that meant they did their jobs for reasons other than crowns.
In short, the worst type of people.
“She wanted to cut me a deal. All our gains for a day to leave. Except that won't matter if she's dealt with first. Go get her. Now.”
A few of the men shifted. Most were just confused.
“B-But if she's an adventurer, why didn't we just jump her already?”
“Fool! I was watching the treeline! You guys can't stand sentry even if I peel your eyelids off! I had to make sure there was nobody else! Now you see why I'm the leader and you idiots are not!”
“B-Boss!! Then, then that means ...”
“She's alone. Probably thinks she's stronger than all of us. Some brat that just got promoted to E-rank and thinks they're hot stuff. You know what to do.”
“Yes, Boss!!”
Rextros sighed as the underlings shot off, their hidden daggers being pulled from whatever sorry part of their bodies they hid them in.
It was going to be close. That girl … the sword she had. Only an extremely capable swordswoman would dare wield such a weapon. To be anything less was to invite every rogue within spitting distance to try and steal it from her, alive or dead.
Even so, she was alone. She had to be. The way these people operated demanded it. He had fourteen men under his command. Idiots to the last, but idiots with brawn and no discipline. If they all hurled themselves at her, there was simply no way she would be able to defeat them all.
And if so few made it back that he could claim all the loot for himself, then so be it.
Rextros smiled. Perhaps this wasn't such an unfortunate meeting, after all. He'd been meaning to consider a way to leave his goons in the lurch. If someone could deal with them for him, then all the better.
He simply needed to be ready to make good on his escape.
BRRROOOOOWWMMM.
It was at the exact moment that Rextros the Black Scar thought this that his feet suddenly left the ground.
“Gwaaaahhhhhhhh!”
Letting out a scream, he flailed uselessly at the air as he was suddenly flung against the back of his tent, taking it and also a tree with him as he went hurtling down the mound he'd pitched his makeshift throne on.
An enormous, ear splitting explosion drowned out his scream. Or at least what sounded like an explosion. He couldn't be sure with the entire forest groaning in pain. Leaves, branches and trees bent wildly as though slapped by the force of a thousand hurricanes. And yet Rextros instinctively knew that it could have been worse.
The source of that explosion was further away. And it was not aimed towards him.
If it had, he wouldn't be in a position to feel breathless with shock.
Sweat ran down Rextros's face as he crawled up from the dirt. He was lucky. He'd narrowly missed impacting with the tree that now had its roots torn from the soil. Looking around, all he saw was carnage. Bits of the camp were everywhere. And the forest was groaning even louder than before, as though it now had to right itself after being struck by the hand of a god.
Or perhaps a goddess.
That girl … it couldn't be ...
His entire body shaking, Rextros thought about the idiots he'd sent after her. They'd only just left. They … They were probably okay. Even so, could it possibly be a coincidence that she'd set the entire forest on its knees the moment he'd decided on his treachery?
What … What kind of power was this?
That was not the power of some D-rank punk like him. It was beyond that. The sort of power that only named legends past the point of being human possessed.
Had that girl lived a warrior's life, in solitude, training her swordsmanship on some distant mountaintop to achieve that level of destruction?
Rextros now knew he couldn't stay. Not even if all the copper, silver and gold in the world was made available to him. It was time to flee. Right now. Away from this kingdom, filled with more monsters than anyone as insignificant as him had the right to know.
And then maybe, just maybe.
When enough time had passed—he'd be able to take over the farm, and go back to milking cows and tilling fields.
​
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I'm in my senior years of High School, and my weekends and school holidays consist of me studying and going to my local library. (my goal in life is to become an optometrist). I don’t really hang out with my friends as much as I lots of my exams and assignments were due.
Since exam season is over, I invited some of my friends over so we could have a get together. We decided to take the train to the city, which takes roughly 1.5hrs. During this time one of my friend’s ava , decided to invite some of her guy friends to our trip to the city. I do not enjoy the company of ava’s guy friends as they are loud and obnoxious pricks. Me, my friend lee and kate were uncomfortable sitting next to ava and her friends on the train as they began to vape, so we moved a carriage down. Since there was not enough seats for Lee, K ateand I, I sat next by myself and began to listen to Small Town Murder, while waiting to arrive at our station.
After we arrived I had 15 mins left of my episode so I asked Lee and Kate if it was alright if I continued to listen as we walked to Starbucks. They told me I was stupid; I didn’t have to ask for permission for that. We arrived, and the barista was a Korean lady. ava did not want to order her drinks by herself, so ava said “(my name), you should order everyone’s drinks”, I said ok, and asked why, in which she replied “your Chinese (im Taiwanese btw) and the coffee maker is Asian, you both look the same. Just speak your native languages, they all sound the same, she’ll have a better job understanding you, than me”. I called her a racist, then proceeded to order the drinks. The barista heard our conversation with ava and said I should get better friends.
After drinking our drinks, I put my headphone back in to continue listening to the end of my podcast as we walked to H&M. Lee Kate and I all stuck together, while ava was with her group behind us. They began to play loud rap music & vaping down the streets, so lee, Kate and I all sped up to get away. As we were just entering H&M, ava runs up next to me and rips my air pods from my ears and starts screaming at me. I had no idea why, but lee told me later it was because I called her racist, and she kept on trying to belittle me as we walked to H&M, but I conveniently had my airpod in so I could hear her 😏. ava then screamed “You really are so self-absorbed you cant even be bothered to have a conversation with any of us? You know we didn’t have to invite you to come to the city with us.” Everyone around us was just staring at ava and I, as she jumped on my air pods and broke them. I had enough of ava acting out to try to be “cool” so I just left and took the train back home. News got around to my whole friend group, and everyone is mad at me (but Lee and Kate) because I called ava a racist, when she apparently wasn’t.
AITA?

Hello everyone. My son is nearly 3 and has been biting at nursery. There have been maybe 3 incidents in about 2 months, and we thought it was just a phase and he was getting better. However, today he has bitten someone again and they say it had no trigger. I think this is the thing that concerns me - if there’s no trigger, how are we supposed to deal with it? Anyone got any advice or thoughts?

sorry ang haba, pero i really need to get if off my chest nga and know other people’s opinion.
i’ve been together with my friends for almost 9 years, give or take. granted i’m only in my 20s, and so are my friends, pero matagal na rin kami magkasama in our young life. dahil sakanila, i slowly learned how to become a better version of myself. i owe a lot of my growth to their love and patience. of course, hindi rin sila perfect, but we stuck together through thick and thin.
ldr kaming magkakaibigan. they live near each other pero they still need to schedule their meetings sa super busy ng acads and hectic ng city. meanwhile, i live in another island. i need to ride a plane to cover our distance. they get to meet each other from time to time and i haven’t met two of them in almost 5-7 years. we knew each other irl bago kami nag ldr, pero we spent most of our friendship online. hindi ako nagseselos or nagagalit na they get to meet at hindi nila kaya pumunta sa city ko (i’ve been to their city once just to specifically meet them, pero di parin kami nakapagkita, even when i told them i’m coming over at least 2 months before my flight. again, i wasn’t angry, just a bit disappointed but i don’t hold it against them). it’s just safe to say at this point na online friends nalang kami sa tagal namin di nagkikita.
the thing is, i’m emotionally detached (thanks to how my parents raised me rin) and struggle with maintaining relationships, kahit platonic. it took me 2 years being with them so i can open up. not to sound emo or edgy, pero i just struggle in having meaningful connections with other people. my friends are the only ones i’m putting an effort for. i always have to consciously choose them again and again, to remind myself na i do care and love them, na it’s just my depression telling me to self-isolate. so yes, sila lang talaga ang friends ko na i hold dearly.
one of my bestfriend’s boyfriend is, like, shit tbh. he’s depressed (there’s nothing wrong with that) pero he uses that as like a shield or an excuse for his behavior. like, he told my best friend he thinks na she’s asking a bit too much (she’s not!! very low maintenance and understanding friend ko) pero he’s doing barely the bare minimum. for example, he thinks na she can ride a grab on her own at 11pm-12am and he doesn’t think na parang need naman na iwalk out sya. literally, he only has to wait with her outside his condo. he says it’s his first relationship (first rin ng friend ko) and he didn’t grow up with a dad (my dad isn’t dead pero with how he emotionally neglected me since childhood, it’s almost i don’t have a dad rin, kaso you don’t see me using that as an excuse to be shitty). before all that pa, i just knew i didn’t like him kasi he’s too clingy and love bombing kahit friends pa sila. i didn’t like him as her friend, and lalo na as her boyfriend, pero i wasn’t against their relationship. i didn’t tell her to break up. i just said na i don’t like him pero as long as she’s happy and she’s treated right (this was before the example i gave), then ok na sakin.
my other friend has her own problems. she’s insecure and unconsciously craves validation and wants romance. i, for one, know na she’s not ready for it talaga, pero she really wants to have a relationship that she sometimes cries and all we can do is comfort her. aware rin sya na hindi to healthy, pero she can’t herself. this has been happening for years throughout our friendship. she was talking to someone and we knew about it, and i more or less support her. idk much about the guy, kasi i’m not always active in our gc, pero ik enough to know who he is, just not enough to have an opinion about him.
what made us argue is that i, apparently, criticize their men too much. aaminin ko na sometimes i can’t control it, like a slip of the tongue, pero i stop myself and apologize if i do. i don’t participate in gc convos about their men kasi ik wala akong magandang masasabi, and i don’t wanna ruin that for them. they had a double date and nagsend sila ng pics sa gc. nagasaran kami, along with my other friend, with how their boyfriends posed.
i want to point out na my best friend’s boyfriend is ugly. he knows, she knows, everyone knows. i usually don’t hold a person’s physical appearance against them, pero if he has a shitty personality and ang panget nya pa?? pick a struggle. when they sent pics, inasar namin sila na parang funny sila mag pose. not their looks or clothes, pero posing lang. apparently, that was shitty of us and nahurt sila. i was surprised kasi nagaasaran naman kami sa isa’t isa, very mild lang sya in my opinion, but they didn’t like it.
i guess nahurt ako kasi i was acting the same, how i would usually act to them, pero if they think na it was a bitch of me to do, does this mean the whole time tinotolerate nila ako? i was an angry person before, i haven’t come to terms to my relationship with my parents, kaya i hated everyone and myself. thanks to them, i’ve become a bit happier and softer, resigned. i try to be extra soft to one of them kasi she’s sensitive (again, nothing wrong) pero i also don’t want to be a completely different person to make them comfortable. sometimes iniisip ko why i’m still friends with her when i always have to change for her, but she rarely does for me. i guess i do love them kahit ganun.
ever since they had a boyfriend/fling, i felt like i was walking on eggshells around them. i can’t ignore the fact na may relationships sila kasi it’s part of their life, so i try to be part of it rin, pero we keep arguing about it. they sort of, not directly, implied na maybe di ko maintindihan cause i was single.
obviously, i apologized na inasar ko boyfriends nila pero i pointed out ang hypocrite nila before ghosting them. it’s normal for me to ghost them, they know na sometimes i really do self-isolate myself and i need time, and i’m thankful na they will always wait for me. they messaged me na they’re sorry and they miss me, and that i can take my time again. pero they don’t know na i’m thinking of ending our friendship.
the moment i felt like i need to change because of these new men in their life, i knew na di ko matitiis. of course they’re still maturing when it comes to romantic relationships, pero i refuse to be disrespected during their growth phase. i’ve been on their side the same they’ve always been mine, but i’m not gonna stay and argue with them because of other people.
so am i overreacting? my sibling thinks na my emotions are justified, but we have the same parents who emotionally neglected us so maybe that fucked up our perception of relationships. i confided with another friend and she told me na valid actions ko. is it?
tl;dr: i got hurt and ghosted my friends when we argued over their boyfriends/flings and i’m planning to end our friendship.

Hi! This is the first post in what I hope to be (about) a 7 part series following the adventures of a human destroyer with a crew who was not trained for diplomacy becoming the last chance for peace between two alien species who aren’t very happy that their first contact with humanity is a purpose-built warship blundering into their space. Kida sorta. This is my first time writing anything like this, or really anything at all for public viewership, so feedback is welcome!
This is the prologue, the framing sequence is kinda vague here, this is mostly just to set up the main cast of this show and the titular gunboat, the UNS Crazy Train, so apologies if it drags a bit in a couple places, but I figured it’d be best to exposit now and focus on a more character driven story later (unless y'all really like exposition). Future chapters will probably use the memory transcription framing sequence, the next one will for sure, but I'm not great at writing in first person, so it depends after that. I’m aiming for one post a week, but IRL may have other plans for me.
Credit to u/SpacePaladin15 for his original series, The Nature of Predators, It is very good! Read it if you haven’t because, 1:why are you on the NoP subreddit without reading NoP? Silly. And 2:None of this will probably make sense unless you already know a good chunk of NoP’s plot.
I started working on this before part 98 came out, but this story is not set in the primary canon, so effectively that's about where it diverges from the normal timeline. I'll do my best to avoid contradicting lore from before 99 wherever possible!
That's enough introduction, on with the prologue!

Historical Record: July 12th, 2137
“Captain Krenshaw?”
The captain didn’t look up from his datapad, beckoning the visitor into his office. Probably just another new batch of paperwork for me to sign. While he was enthusiastic about captaining the UNS Crazy Train, the first in the UN’s new class of siege-breaker destroyers, he hadn’t anticipated the amount of documents he would have to sign and submit before. Liability waivers for every new piece of equipment on board, confirmations of deliveries of a dozen different ammo types, and signing the admittance documents for every one of the six hundred and thirty souls on board. Maybe the engineers have a new type of wrench they need approval to distribute to the workstations, he thought with a rueful smile.
The ship had been scheduled to launch five days prior, but the fueling shuttle had somehow brought fuel rods half again too long to fit in the reactor, and so the geniuses in engineering had figured out a way to cut them down to size. It was faster than waiting for replacements, but by no means a fast process, and some logistician had decided to take advantage of the ship sitting in dry dock above Mars and managed to add thirty tons of cargo to the manifest.
“The last of the ammunition has been loaded, we have one last matter to attend to before we are cleared for cast off.” The visitor said while handing him a clipboard.
The captain stood, recognizing the voice of Commander Wilson, his second in command and long time friend. If the commander was hand-delivering a hard copy, this must be an important piece of cargo. A cursory reading of the document proved him right, much to his consternation.
“We’re transporting war criminals now, Hanah? I thought four hundred incendiary bombs for the Fissan’s new “terraforming” project was a bit much, Lieutenant Kiref was already complaining about how he wouldn’t get any time to train with his marines with all this guard duty, and now he’s going to have to have to incorporate at least ten people into prisoner watch.”
Wilson shrugged. “I tried to argue with them, but apparently these criminals need to be delivered to the Venlil High Courts pronto. UN command wants any Arxur sympathetic to our cause to know that we don’t use exterminator tactics on defectors.”
Krenshaw sighed, “Great, just what I need to be worried about, racist pyromaniacs on a ship packed to the brim with napalm charges. I suppose I should go and talk to them before we set off, acceptable conduct and all that.” He rolled his eyes. “We’re ready to go other than that?”
Wilson nodded, and Krenshaw followed her out of his office, leaving her in the battle bridge to make final preparations, while the captain got in a lift down to the dock connecting them to the Martian Shipyards.
As he passed the levels, he again marveled at the warship he was now in command of. The Crazy Train was not a particularly large ship, coming in at just under half a klick long and a quarter of that in width and an eighth in height, but the armor made her literally second to none. While the lower half of her twin hulls were armored comparably to any other human warship, the top halves were covered and connected by a series of armor plates collectively thicker than the wingspan of Earth’s largest fighter, not even including spacing. In order to account for her massive weight, the four primary propulsion thrusters (one at the front and rear of each hull) could rotate to face straight down for atmospheric flight.
Her design had been the result of information gleaned during the UN Shadow Fleet’s marauding attack through Chief Hunter Shaza’s sector, notably the complete lack of any anti-capital ship weapons on the surface of any of the Arxur cattle worlds. A conversation with some of the Arxur sympathetic to humanity, and interrogation of one of the cattle farm overseers revealed the reason: apparently, about sixty years ago a cattle world had been drained of guards for another all-out attack, leaving just under one hundred Arxur in charge of roughly three thousand Mazics. One stampede later, and the Arxur had lost control of the farm and all of its anti-starship heavy plasma railguns. The facility was removed with antimatter bombs, but over a hundred bombers were lost in an operation that, had the guns not been operational, could have been handled by three or four. Rather than rework their entire military strategy to rely on smaller, more flexible forces that didn’t require reducing entire galactic sectors to skeleton crews, the Arxur just moved all the heavy guns to orbital installations.
As a result, the UN commissioned three new classes of warship under “Project Rustler,” with the objective of creating purpose-built warships for eliminating orbital defense platforms and liberating cattle farms. The designers of the Crazy Train had come up with the quintessentially human tactic of building a ship so heavily armored and with such powerful engines that she could hard burn past the platforms, dumping dozens of boarding torpedoes and enough countermeasures to cloak a small fleet in her wake, hover above the farm, drop the onboard detachment of marines to the surface, rescue as many cattle as possible, and escape virtually unharmed due to the upper armor plate being thick enough to take dozens of shots that would split a larger ship in two in stride.
Captain Krenshaw’s musings were interrupted by the bell indicating someone else was getting on the lift. The doors slid open, and the massive form of an Arxur blocked the doorway before quickly ducking inside the elevator.
“Mornin’ Captain” growled Lieutenant Kiref, crouching slightly to avoid whacking his head on the seven foot tall ceiling. “I’m heading down to the docks to take delivery of that batch of prisoners. Where are you headed?”
“Same place actually, I figured you might need some help.”
The Lieutenant waved his tail to indicate his skepticism. “Captain, I am more than capable of taking delivery of three Venlil, who are already cuffed. If they are that heavy, I can requisition some marines to help drag their bodies to their cells after they faint. Why are we hauling prisoners anyway? The version of the orders I got were blocked out.”
“Kiref, these are war criminals, exterminators deployed with the UN army on an Arxur scientific research base.”
Kiref cut in, “Well at least they should be accustomed to seeing sentient predator species then, shouldn’t that make them easier to handle?”---”Sir?” quickly correcting his mistake. Captain Krenshaw is tolerant of a lack of decorum, but I really need to get the hang of these human honorifics for the next time I have to justify my service to some admiral Kiref internally chastised himself.
“They were found by their commanding officer after having burned several defectors to death, so I think fainting is nowhere near the worst situation we could have.” Kiref’s yellow slitted eyes went wide, then narrowed with anger. “What’s more, there was another defector who was still on fire, and survived, so this will definitely go public. The UN wanted to try the exterminators at the Hague, make sure everybody else knows that’s not how humanity treats defectors and POWs, but Tarva insisted that they be tried on Venlil Prime. The UN wants to announce the trial before the story breaks, so the prisoners are taking the next ship to Venlil Prime, which is us.”
“Thanks for the heads up, and glad to know the ship’s leaving soon.” The captain nodded in agreement to the last sentiment, as the doors to the lift opened, revealing the ready deck, which was supposed to be kept clear for troops and equipment for planetary landings, but which was currently packed to the brim with shipping containers full of napalm and canned fruit. The pair made their way through the labyrinth to the airlock connecting the Crazy Train to the dock, Kiref taking note of the lack of any dropships within the hangar.
“Captain, has there been any word on when we will be taking on any landing vessels, and of what type they may be? I was hoping to run disembarkation drills with the landing party.”
“Some new Nevok design they don’t want to be sending the schematics over long range broadcast, probably a good idea given how poor the cybersecurity on those old Fed transmitters is.” The captain replied, with a chuckle at the last part. “You should have at least some time to train on the way to the rest of the fleet. I understand you had planned on using the ready deck to train for surface combat, but since that isn’t an option, I’ll set aside the living quarters and sickbay for the freed prisoners as a simulation for boarding actions.”
Kiref swung his tail in a gesture of appreciation. “I thank you for your consideration sir. I will make sure my men will be capable of securing any ship in the Dominion or Federation within less than a half an hour after boarding.”
Stepping through the airlock, the pair walked onto the dock, which was as large as a highway, and populated sparsely by crewmen loading the last few containers and a squad of marines who snapped to attention as the two officers walked passed. Sticking out like a sore thumb among all the sailors were three of the baldest looking Venlil either man had ever seen seated in benches a little way down the dock, flanked by four uncomfortable looking guards in UNMP uniforms. Upon seeing the alien’s strange haircuts, Kiref glanced quizzically at his commanding officer, who just muttered “exterminators” in response, causing Kiref to roll his eyes. The exterminators were wearing hand (or paw) cuffs clearly designed for someone much larger than them, and The lead exterminator, judging by the insignia pinned to his fire-resistant uniform, glared at Kiref with a look that betrayed not so much fear as anger and disgust.
As Captain Krenshaw began signing over custody of the prisoners, the lead exterminator let out a yell. “Hey human! You know you got a monster in your crew?” The captain put down his pen and turned to face the Venlil, a terrifying look in his eye that made the other two Venlil back down. The leader carried on, oblivious “We could take care of it for you! That thing’s a danger to anybody on board, at least get your chief of security to confine it to a cell!”
Lieutenant Kiref snapped his eyes over to the Venlil, and unsheathed his claws, causing the exterminator to take an involuntary step back. “I’m sorry prisoner,” said the Arxur, his every syllable dripping with venom “I didn’t quite hear you, would you care to repeat that?”
The captain jumped between the two aliens. “THAT’S ENOUGH!”
“Look, human, that thing-”
“I SAID ENOUGH. For future reference, his name is Lieutenant Kiref, not ‘it,’ mine is Captain Krenshaw, not ‘human,’ and as commander of my ship’s marine detachment, he is the security chief. You are under his charge for the duration of our voyage, so I suggest you treat him with the respect he is due.” The captain turned to the Lieutenant. “Take these war criminals to the brig. You know the handbook on prisoner transport inside and out, I trust you will have no problem keeping them confined?”
“None whatsoever” said Kiref, grinning at the now cowering Venlil. He motioned for two marines who were coming back from the interior of the shipyard, and the three of them escorted the cuffed Venlil into the bowels of the ship.
The captain sighed and turned back to the four military police officers, and finished filling out the clipboard before handing it back to the officer who had given it to him.
“Safe travels, captain, and good luck” The man said.
“Thanks, we’ll definitely need it.” Captain Krenshaw turned and began calling over his radio to the crew, “Alright, seal all airlocks, disconnect all umbilicals and prepare to release docking clamps, we will be underway within the hour.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The ship wasn’t under way for very long.
The UNS Crazy Train exited hyperdrive about four lightyears from the edge of the Sol system, just over a day and a half after departure in a patch of seemingly uninteresting space. Captain Krenshaw ran onto the bridge, disheveled but attempting to put on a professional face, buttoning the last button on his jacket. “What’s the status?” This was a charted area of space, if there had been an asteroid or large space rock,it should have been marked on the map, and the only other plausible option was an enemy fleet, which seemed absent.
Commander Wilson turned at his entrance, vacating the command chair “We’re not sure what it is, the automated navigator detected an absurdly large object in our path, but only picked it up at the last second, and was able to break us out of FTL within just forty klicks of the object. Scanner Officer Casey is investigating now, but we haven’t seen anything since going sunlight.”
The captain took a seat and looked over at the sensor station. “Any ideas yet Caysey?” Officer Casey was by far both the youngest and least experienced member of the Crazy Train’s bridge crew, but Krenshaw was somewhat concerned with the Dossur’s ability to perform his duties under stress. He had been diagnosed with “predator disease” which manifested as an extreme lack of fear response, which meant that he was capable of exchanging small talk over lunch with Kiref for three whole minutes before fainting. Krenshaw had been assured multiple times that the diminutive officer would be just fine in performing his duties as long as the enemies stayed on the other side of a screen, and the Dossur’s natural extremely fast reflexes proved Caysey was adept at identifying and distinguishing targets, so the captain was hopeful, if a bit cautious.
Caysey looked up from his screen, his field of view severely limited by his blinders. “Captain, the only thing that could have blipped into and immediately out of sensor range that fast was another ship passing dangerously close without announcing it’s heading, headed inbound for Earth.”
“An invasion fleet perhaps? Should we turn around?”
“I don’t think so, It would have skipped in front of us for a fraction of a second. The object was detected for over a second, at the speeds we’re talking about, in order to do that the ship would have to be literally light-seconds long, and wide too given the distance this thing seems to stretch on to the sides” The scanner officer looked back to his panel and took several deep breaths before continuing. “I think sensor error is the more likely option. Possibly also some sort of energy field orbiting a local sun at superluminal speeds, but that’s not supported by any scientific theories I know of,” Caysey hastily added.
“I think we’ll avoid examination of theoretical physics for now, drop a beacon and we’ll see if anyone wants to send out a science ship later, helm, continue at sunlight speeds until we clear this field.” The captain said, relaxing a bit. We were needed at the front weeks ago, every day we aren’t there, more people die in Arxur farms.
The ship slowly trundled forwards at sunlight speeds for a few minutes, all eyes were looking at their instruments. The bow punched into the zone, the bridge crew collectively taking deep breaths.
“We should be clear in twenty seconds” Wilson called out.
The whole ship was in the space where the disturbance had been now.
“Fifteen seconds…”
No objects on scanners within the collision warning perimeter
“Ten seconds…”
The bow had reached the far side.
“Five…”
With one and a half seconds to go, Caysey yelled out “WAIT-” but it was too late. Within half a second the entirety of the UNS Crazy Train was engulfed in a bizarre energy field. The standard lighting on the bridge cut out and the emergency bulbs burst from the power surge, plunging the ship into total darkness. The ship rocked violently as the engines gimbaled in random directions. Faster than even the Dossur could react, every electrical system on the ship was flooded with power levels dozens of times higher than what they had been designed to handle. The helmsman screamed as his hands were electrified by the absurd amperage traveling through the ship’s wheel. The ship's reactors tripped, dropping the control rods within another half second, triggering warnings on every panel on the engineering decks.
Within another second the energy had passed, leaving the Crazy Train drifting lifeless in deep space. The turbines slowly winding down triggered the emergency batteries to connect to the ships power, keeping the remaining systems functional, for now. The backup computer activated, rerouting power through backup conduits wherever possible, and developing a list of what needed to be replaced.
Captain Krenshaw was the first to get to his feet. “Is anyone injured?”
“Helmsman Jones' hands are burned pretty badly, should I escort him to sickbay?” said Commander Wilson, helping the injured man to his feet.
“Please do, then help Dr. Mulvan get a triage going.” The captain replied. “Is there anything on scanners, Caysey?
“No s-sir” panted Caysey slowly getting to his fleet. “I should be able to check the beacon we dropped just before we entered the field.” The Dossur was quiet for several seconds. “Sir our comms and scanners may be more damaged than the computer says, I can’t even establish that the beacon is there. Should I launch another?”
“If we have that functionality, then do so. It seems your superluminal energy field hypothesis may have some merit after all” replied the captain, still a bit shaken.
Caysey punched a few buttons before frowning. “The next beacon is launched, and it’s meeting all expected readings. It’s like the other probe just disappeared.”
Krenshaw didn’t give it much thought, contacting engineering to see when the situation on damage control was. The damage turned out to have been mostly superficial or to redundant components, mainly to lighting systems and some CIWS targeting systems. All things that could be replaced in-flight or swapped out quickly at the next port. The only crucial component the ship was missing was the long range communications array, leading to the captain's decision to continue on towards Venlil Prime. At least they have an approach vector lined up for us, we would be cruising into extremely heavy traffic with no comms and dodgy sensors if we head back to Earth. So much for a peaceful maiden voyage, although at least it’s not the worst thing that could have happened...

Thanks for reading, it means a lot! Again, thanks to SpacePaladin15 as well! Hope to see y'all next time on Gunboat Diplomacy!
(also did anybody else know disembarkation was the proper word? I just kinda assumed it was disembarkment until google and spellcheck corrected me)

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As the title suggests I'm looking to find some new rp partners, my schedule is more open now and I'm hoping to be able to find someone interested in something long-term
A bit about me; I'm F 25 based in Australia, I'm happy to rp with people from across the world as long as they're fine with the time zone differences between us. I am a native English speaker.
I work part-time and work from home so i have plenty of time available to rp. Generally i will respond throughout the day and even occasionally when i'p at work. I would consider myself highly literate and would prefer someone who is able to keep up detail/length wise, who is willing to discuss ideas as we progress in the Rp itself. (preference for 3-6 paragraphs average not including slow scenes)
I'm not against OOC chats, and I do a lot of the time like to discuss potential plot points and lore of our rp even in times where we may not be 100% up to rp, but want to just chat!
I'm looking for someone who is relatively active and detailed, happy to have a chat but can at minimum make one or two posts a day etc. though obviously I would prefer more but I am chill about it. My main thing is I want a partner who is willing to actually put into the story and isn't just along for the ride.
As a side note for my own sanity, please be over 18, note preference for characters is 25-40). Self OCS/anime ocs need not apply
I prefer a partner who is more than comfortable playing more than one character at a time if necessary, swapping characters from time to time if the story goes that way.
i am mostly interested in Military, War, wwll & Cold war Alt History prompts. I have a range of prompts ready to go based on my own original writings/characters/concepts I do also tend to dabble in Apoc, Fantasy etc but not nearly as much (Fantasy the least tbh)
If you have an idea or if we want to kind of work on something together feel free to reach out! Though I do tend to be picky I'm sure we can reach an agreement.
If you'd like to dm me please do so and introduce yourself!

We're both in our early 30s. Together 13 years, married for 8 of them.
Basically I'm frustrated by feeling like I have to parent my spouse and then feeling annoyed at myself for being annoyed. Sometimes I think I'm just a demanding, irritable person who shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone. I get annoyed because I feel like I have to manage the house alone. His one thing is that he's supposed to cook and I do everything else. Two or three nights a week is take out(pizza usually), another is chicken nuggets or hamburgers or hot dogs, another is 'make whatever yourself'....it boils down to like 1 or 2 non junk food meals per week. I tried looking up new recipes he might like, but he has no interest in them. I tried offering to take over cooking but he said no to that, too.
He never knows where anything is, if we have it, or where to get it if we don't. I sweep nearly every day. I'd ask him to lift his feet so I could sweep under the couch or desk sometimes if he was sitting there. Recently, he asked if we owned a broom. He seemed to genuinely not know. This sort of thing happens all the time. Do we have x? Where is y thing that you have told me where it is several times now? He got irritated with me once for putting the new vegetables beneath the older veg that should be eaten first, claiming I 'hid them' and made him 'forget to use them' in some food he was making. It's like I'm a storage account for him to deposit tedious shit into so that he can withdraw it whenever and not have to be bothered himself.
I tried the 'stop doing things for him' thing for awhile but it just doesn't work on someone so intensely oblivious. We had pizza. He ate the last slice. The empty box sat around our house for 3 months before I got fed up and tossed it. I did the communication thing. Please pick up after yourself. Didn't mention the 3 month old pizza box, didn't want to make him feel bad. Things get a little better for awhile, the empty jar of whatever will sit to be cleaned out for a week now instead of longer, etc. Baby steps I guess, until it goes back to the way it was. He just feels thoughtless. If I don't tell him every little thing, it's my fault, he shouldn't have to just remember stuff for himself.
It's also hard to have any serious, intimate conversation. I'm not saying we need to talk about our feelings daily or something but like I made a comment about the sunset being beautiful, he doesn't have to care, but does he have to make a stupid goofy face instead of just being like 'yeah nice whatev'. Does he have to go on rants about how boring everyone is for liking xyz hobby or movie or music or whatever so that I never want to share anything about myself or interests with him again? Does he have to make mocking(they are jokes and i get it and maybe im just sensitive) remarks about what I'm doing while I research for school work? When I try to ask him something serious does he have to just deflect with a joke even when I'm begging him for a serious answer? When I watch a comfort movie that I used to watch with my recently dead grandma does he have to mock the movie? Like not even me making him sit and watch it with me, just me watching it on my own and he can't help but make some remark. I don't expect him to like everything I like, and I'm not going to be mad if he says "I don't like that thing". But I do feel pretty shitty when he has to make actively mocking comments about it. It's his way of joking so I know he probably doesn't mean ill will but it's also just like exhausting. I'm tired. I don't want negative, mean joking anymore, I don't care if this makes me humorless or frigid or whatever, I'm just tired. I feel suffocated inside myself because sharing something just makes it a target for jokes.
He doesn't even listen to me half the time I'm talking anyway. I was trying to have a conversation with him over lunch. In the middle of it he disrupted me to point out something some birds outside were doing. He apologized and I'd forgotten what I was saying at first, and I asked, "What was I saying". As I asked, I was starting to remember and pick up my train of thought again but then he said, "Uh....I don't know. Something about *vaguely related keyword to the topic I was on about*? I don't know." So I just pretended I'd forgotten altogether and let it drop. I get this can happen, I'm not trying to be upset about a one time thing. But this happens all the time to the point that I just don't want to talk to him anymore. I don't feel listened to because he's so eager to just make a joke or something. Even when I'm asking him to do or remember something, I don't hear "Okay," and then a joke, it's always just a joke. I just want to feel heard and understood!! It's extra annoying because those very things I'm asking you to do, you don't do them because you were so busy joking you forgot I asked about them!
This has probably made me less interested in sex too. I think a lot of it has to do with a medication I'm taking, because I did genuinely have a harder time with sex once I started taking it. But now I wonder how much of it has to do with my frustrations with him. I kept refusing him, more irritably than I should have admittedly, and it finally blew up. So I tried giving him oral more often, but he wanted sex. I told him I thought the medication was making me have a low sex drive, and that I just didn't want sex. I didn't want him to think it was his fault. I felt guilty, so I said I'd do it for him anyway if that was what he wanted. He did and I think I messed everything up permanently because now I'm repulsed by sex. Not with him, with anyone, ever. At first he was grateful. I try hard to orgasm every time because he was unhappy if I didn't, and I still can't manage it 100% of the time. Then it turned back into a problem, he said he saw me cringe sometimes while we did it and that this made him unhappy and feel like I was doing this out of obligation. I apologized but internally felt so dead. Like yes, it is an obligation, I explained this to you, I said I do not want this, I'm doing this FOR YOU and you AGREED that was what you wanted and now it's still not enough?!!? You notice me cringing and crying and still get off and somehow I'm the one apologizing at the end?!? I mean I get it, sex is important, getting none is a dealbreaker so I'm trying, but what am I supposed to do? How do you talk to someone who never seems to remember or listen to what you are saying to them?

I 21f was travelling back after an exam from college. This bus was really crowded and I was standing next to where two men were sitting on a seat reserved for women. The one near the window was scrolling through his phone and then the other man got down at one stop. The man scrolling in his phone looked around 50-60 years old which is same as my dad, so I sat next to him. He was scrolling through his phone with his right hand and his elbow was touching my hip bone. I felt uncomfortable and tried to scoot away a little bit but now he kept digging into my hip bone(not grazing but digging with force). I got really uncomfortable and stood up and moved away from and suddenly one ammooma sat on the same seat. All these things happened under the span of 3 minutes and I was genuinely confused and thought I was making it all up in my mind because that man looked to be around my dad's age and I did not expect it. Later I noticed that he was infact staring at me even after I moved away from there and also he was still scrolling through his phone but his elbows were far away from that ammooma (his elbow wasn't even near her and same was the case when the other man was sitting next to him). I earlier saw him looking at my breast area and I foolishly thought that he was looking at my id card.
I have noticed that women here do not sit next to men if the seat was vacant but I always thought that we shouldn't demonize a whole gender because of some people and would always sit down if a seat was vacant. I've never had such an experience and didn't give it much thought.
I dont know if it constitutes as something sexual but the only thing I know is that I felt really uncomfortable. I cannot stop crying now. I feel so disgusted and humiliating.
I feel so ashamed for not responding at the right time and I wanted give him the benefit of doubt but he just kept staring at me until i g9t down at my stop and after that I thought that nobody would even beleive me if I responded then. I was so confused and couldn't believe something like this would happen to me.

Hi! I want to make some new friends either online or maybe in real life.
I am a 15 year old boy. My hobbies are:- Listening to music- Riding my bike- Drawing- Playing Minecraft- Playing with my dog
I live near Melbourne, Australia (very close to the city, about a 25-minute ride).
DM me if you are interested
I also play the Double Bass

Hi,
I just created an account friday (and then found the group, shame for the 20 euro discount ;) ) and made 2 CX11 hosts to replace my 1 1G 1 CPU host I have with another VPS provider. One host will be the main host with DNS, web and email (alas, outgoing temporarily with the old host as relay to bypass the port 25 blockage), the other secondary DNS, as the old provider decided to kill off the old fully dns secondaries for clients and replace them with limited ones that ignore notifies (which makes them useless for DNSSEC setups).
The old host was near idle (max 0.1 load), however, the new main host was lagging like crazy and had loads of well over 10 with almost no traffic what so ever. I upgraded the amount of CPU's to 2 (changing to CPX11) and got the load around 4 with peaks of 8 when I noticed the systems came without a swap...
This is how the load graph looks pore and post swap addition:
Load graph pre and post swap
Before I added the swap, the system was battering the disk for data, which after adding the swap, was dumped in memory and totally ignored afterwards. Before swap the 2G memory was nearly full, after adding 4G swap the swap is filled about 1.7G and never accessed again and memory usage is about 350 MB.
Any idea why the default Hetzner image (Debian 11 in this case) comes without swap? Apart from commercial (they can sell 4G+ vms to 'fix performance') I can't think of a reason, as swap in my case is filled once and almost never accessed. (pre swap almost permanent 100-400 MB reads, after swap addition it's about 10-20k reads when I see traffic on the disk at all, but it's idle 99% of the time)
Having a base image that doesn't batter the disks seems to me to be more beneficial to the provider then one that does, even if it results in more memory sales.

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Link is dead, or dreaming.
lol ok lets backup. im pretty sure being in heaven or being in a dream is the laziest way to write an anything, but for breath of the wild...it makes a lot more sense than you would think.
originally what caught my attention was the fact that there are a lot of similarities between skyward sword and botw. namely, the hylian shield design is the same, the master sword is the same, (some could say that its the same as twilight princess too, but the twilight princess one is a darker shade of purple and has golden around the golden gem on the hilt so its technically different) and I thought that well maybe that means botw is somewhere near skyward sword, but then I started thinking more about it. the mirror of twilight, the yellow striped at, (yes i watched a lot of game theory) and the references to each different timeline. matpat said that its because of hyrule warriors, which connected all the universes, but the developers said that game isn't canon and I happen to be a stubborn little brat, so im not gonna explain it away with hyrule warriors like game theory did. no, my theory is that link is dead or dreaming, and somehow accessed the memories of all the different past versions of himself. but I'll get to the specifics of that later.
now, the main and obvious reason that I think this is because, well, it has references to each timeline. thats pretty much it. but looking closer, there are a few very specific details that were chosen.
throughout the game, the hylian shield and the master sword, link's two most familiar tools, have their designs from skyward sword. considering its at the end of the timeline, which is objectively the farthest away from skyward sword as possible, that seems kinda weird. like after thousands of years, they just changed to their original form? no, something must have happened. one other smaller detail relating to skyward sword is that the language on some of the signs is the same as the skyward sword era.
now, lets look at some other facts: the rito and the zora are both alive in this game, but seperatly, even tho the rito were suppose to be the descendants of the zora. how is that possible? never explained. how about calamity ganon? where did it come from? they tell the story of it, and how it appeared, but not how. they don't specify on ganondorf or who created calamity ganon, he just sort of appeared.
​
all of these things can be explained with a few different theories that are all vaguely similar to one another.
1: Link is dreaming. link got real tired from his last adventure and as he fell asleep, he accidentally gained access to all the memories of all his past incarnations, and their adventures. everything that any link ever has ever known was crammed into this huge dreamworld for link to explore. calamity ganon is the incarnation of the nightmare part of all of link. ganon has been seen by multiple links a lot, and when combined, only share one similarity: they are formed out of pure evil, and therefore thats how he is depicted in this dream sequence. this can also explain why the rito are there, the zora are there, and the references to skyward sword. and TOTK looks like it could be going along with this too, seeing as the next part of this dreamland revolves around him flying up into the sky, like what happened when hyrule was lifted into the sky.
one more small detail, is that Impa is there. demise in skyward sword said that he would cast a magic so that the three that represent the triforce pieces would be reincarnated again and again and again, and yet another recurring character is impa. (i know there are other recurring characters, but ill get to that in a different post) and impa, in botw, is depicted as incredibly old. now, link, throughout all his journeys, has seen impa as one thing more than anything else: fragile and old. so if link were to be dreaming and his mind was searching through memories, what would be the most likely thing for his brain to comprehend? an old, fragile impa.
​
2: Link died. there are two possible theories that spin off from this one theory:
link died, and is now having flashbacks of all his memories before he gets reincarnated again OR...
that link died for the last time, and succesfully reset the timeline.
now, hear me out. similar to the dream timeline, my theory is that all these different memories from other links are being jumbled into one world--but for a different reason. for some reason, the three spirits of the triforce lost their sense of creativity--and decided that as they are forced to reincarnate over and over again, (because of demise's magic thingie) that they decided to reset the timeline and recreate all the events over again, except, nothing went as planned. BOTW is the limbo, the in-between of a new hyrule being created. everything from the past timelines were brought right here and formed into one big world, which recreated hyrule in a very different way from what it had planned. so link was dropped into this world by accident while skyward sword was being recreated, and now, TOTK is the reset version of skyward sword, mostly referenced by the fact that there are now islands being lifted into the sky. of course TOTK hasn't been released yet so it may destroy my whole theory, but this is what i've got.
​
two other things I forgot to mention, starting with the first: the technology.
for both the death timeline and he dream timeline, the tech has gone crazy. the legend of zelda game series is about fantasy, and suddenly out of nowhere technology starts to become a huge part of the game starting with botw? now, in past games there have been other, smaller technological innovations, but nothing as big as giant robot animals that shoot lasers. for the dream timeline, Link's memories of diffewrent technological pieces all crammed together to create new technologies never before thought of, and were brought into the dreamworld not seperate, but not fused together. for the death timeline, well, its kinda the same thing: all the technology from the previous games and timelines were brought here altogether instead of seperate from one another, and the gods or whatever kept it in the world as it restarted with TOTK (aka the new Skyward sword)
the second thing I wanna mention is amiibos:
now this is a really stupid thing to bring up, but literally every amiibo item you get, including costumes and armor from previous games, and even wolf link and epona, can all be explained in both the dream theory or the death theory. and its basically the same way you explain technology and everything else. the amiibo stuff is all from other timelines and games, and therefore the memories brought it back. this works for the DLC too, because there is a lot of stuff from that (for example tingle armor, the phantom knight thingie, the purple bunny thing) all come from previous games, previous memories, ETC. ETC.
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now, I know this theory is so, so far out and so, so far fetched, but I have been trying for a long time to fit the pieces together on breath of the wild, because it goes in all different directions. Thank you for reading this far, I am but a child on the internet who enjoys this game series, and I hope you enjoy my theory concepts.

This is a very long post, detailing my experience trying to pick up Warhammer as a hobby.
​
When I was a child I had a couple of boxes of Warhammer Fantasy models, some paints and even some terrain. I never played the game but I was fascinated by the models. Unfortunately, at some point it all ended up in a box that never got opened again.
But lately I've been playing a lot of Total War: Warhammer, and that same excitement I felt over Warhammer when I was a kid, was abruptly reignited. And I decided, mostly on a whim, to pick up the hobby. So where do I even start?
The obvious first step was to decide between 40.000 and Age of Sigmar. And I quickly settled on AoS, purely based on the aesthetics. I know nothing about the lore, nor am I very interested - it's just that the fantasy setting has always been more appealing to me than a sci-fi one. I should also mention that actually playing the game is of little to no interest to me - I might play a few games with friends and family if I ever get to the stage where I have two complete armies, but the process of building and painting them is what actually interests me.
Next step was to pick an army... So I ended up on the GW website. I navigated to the AoS section, and checked the "Starter-Kits" box, but I realized that not all armies have one of these, so that wasn't an option. Then I instead checked all boxes for each of the armies/factions, and had a look. During this process I continuously un-checked the boxes for the armies that wasn't appealing to me. And after a little while I ended up with a list of four potential candidates:

• Slaves to Darkness
• Ogor Mawtribes
• Skaven
• Ossiarch Bonereapers

Then I repeated the process trying to eliminate them one by one. The only one I managed to remove from my list were the Ogor Mawtribes, after realizing that the only aspect I enjoyed about them were the mammoths (I mean, they're really cool...). So then I had a list of three, but I couldn't eliminate one, they were all equally cool in their own right.
What I ended up doing was looking at the boxes for each faction, trying to do some napkin math to figure out which one had the most bang for my buck, also taking in coolness factor. And after a couple of hours I not only had picked an army, but a specific box I wanted. The only problem was that this box was out of commission, but luckily I found it on a website in my country, and it was even a tad cheaper than the current Vanguard variant. "Start Collecting! Skaven Pestilens" ended up being my box of choice. And I immediately ordered it.

Total: $67

Okay great! What else do I need? Well, I obviously need paints, so lets start there...
During my drooling on the GW website I had noticed that the boxes all had a list of paints you need in the description. One problem - since the box I had chosen was out of commission it wasn't on their website... I tried searching everywhere for the list of paints to no avail, I even tried using the wayback machine, attempting to find a snapshot that included the box, but no luck. I eventually figured out that I could look up each of the units included in my box, all of which was on their site! First paint I need - Gun Metal.
I went to my chosen retailers website and searched for Gun Metal - but no results... That's odd I thought, but oh well, maybe they don't have that one. I tried the next one, Parchment. Same thing there, and with the next one. I found out after clicking on one that these were actually consisting of multiple paints - Gun Metal was actually Leadbelcher and Nuln Oil. This was worrisome, how many paints will I need? Only one way to find out - I added all the ones I needed into my cart, which ended up being 19 or 20 different paints. And that was just for "Battle Ready" (I'm still not totally sure what this means, but my guess is that "Parade Ready" is an extra step to make the minis look even better). Next I added the ones I needed for "Parade Ready" as well, but noticing the total price I quickly went back to just the "Battle Ready" ones. All of the paints I needed were nearly twice the price of the actual minis, which took me by surprise.

Total: $182

Okay what else do I need? I watched a few videos and read some articles, and made myself a list:

• A selection of brushes
• Cutting mat
• Knife
• File
• Clippers
• One of those things to hold the mini for me while I paint
• Chaos Black and Corax White primer spray
• Cement (which i found out is not the same as glue)

Oh no... Okay lets just add everything to my cart...
First I had to do some research on brushes, since I have no prior experience. A common consensus amongst the creators of the videos I watched and articles I read was that the Army Painters Most Wanted set is an excellent starting point. It includes a regular brush, fine detail brush and a dry-brush (I had to research what that last one actually meant). I found a relatively cheap toolkit that included a cutting mat, clippers, file and knife with some spare blades, so I went with that one. Citadel had one of those mini holders for pretty cheap, added that one as well. Found some cement, and last thing remaining was the primers. I found out Corax White doesn't exist anymore, and I had to determine which one took its place - which seemed to be Scar White.

Total: $255

At this point I just sat back and watched some videos of people putting together and painting some minis, trying to see if I had everything. Which is when I noticed that the base which the mini stands on was just plain black plastic. On all the pictures I'd seen they were all on cool, thematically fitting bases. They don't come like this out of the box. Well, what do I need to make them look good? I went down the rabbit hole for a little while but managed to dig myself out. After a long while of researching I found a method that gave a good result, which wasn't overly complex. I ended up adding Citadel Stirland Battlemire, Army Painter Steppe Grass and a Citadel Medium Texture Spreader to my cart.

Total: $274
plus shipping:
Total: $284

I had already ordered the box of minis, and it had been a day since then, so it was already on its way. What do I do at this point? How can I justify spending nearly $300 to paint some rats?
I'm currently just waiting for the box of minis to get here, not sure what to do with it when it comes - do I return it? Do I bite the bullet and spend this ungodly amount of money? I actually ordered the other stuff as well but cancelled the order after an hour.
Have I added a bunch of unnecessary items to my cart, or is it actually this expensive to start the hobby? A quick summary of everything I've determined I need:

• Start Collecting! Skaven Pestilens
• Army Painter Most Wanted Brush Set
• Revell Contacta Liquid Cement
• Citadel Painting Handle v2
• Citadel paints:
  • Mephiston Red
  • Agrax Earthshade
  • Leadbelcher
  • Bugman's Glow
  • Reikland Fleshshade
  • Warplock Bronze
  • Caliban Green
  • Nuln Oil
  • Deathworld Forest
  • Athonian Camoshade
  • Dryad Bark
  • Abaddon Black
  • Mournfang Brown
  • Rakarth Flesh
  • Zandri Dust
  • Seraphim Sepia
  • Castellan Green
  • Biel Tan Green
  • Mechanicus Standard Grey
  • Stirland Battlemire
• Citadel Spray Chaos Black
• Citadel Spray White Scar
• Citadel Medium Texture Spreader
• Army Painter Basing Steppe Grass
• Italeri Plastic Modelling Tool Set

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TL:DR
After a whole lot of research I've bought a box of minis and added everything else I need to a cart, only to find out it comes in at nearly $300. Which left me paralyzed, and I'm not sure where to go from here.

Before i start my very large rant, I would just like to say, I love my parents and am grateful for everything they have done for me HOWEVER, I just can’t seem to add up the remnants of my past 18 years. Okay, so where do I begin ? I’m 19 this year and I don’t think I can handle the constant loop of unproductive days followed by waiting for what seems to be FOREVER to go to bed to avoid everything. I was a bright kid who talked using dramatic gestures and the people loved me. I’m not sure what happened but I then became this extremely shy kid who had major separation anxiety/social anxiety. I cried during my first year of school and cried for many more years. I loathed the idea of being around other kids and demanding teachers for 7 hours and I never woke up without trying to find a way to call in sick until i was in 10th grade. I’m lonely, I feel sad and jealous seeing others at the shops. Eventually, I feel as though I’ve transcended into a void. I feel numb. Growing up, I had friends, some that left quickly others that were my friends for many years. I always felt left out . My parents are religious but aren’t strict upon it to a large extent. They did, however, use religion to deprive me of what would have made many childhood experiences and memories. I was allowed to go out with friends, maybe twice in my life without supervision , the other four with my parents being there. I begged for a phone and got one in high school but wasn’t allowed to message or call any of my friends ( I lived near my school, so the phone wasn’t really of any use ). My life consisted of going to school, then back home. Any outings had to be with family. I never face timed , or went to houses. I never watched any popular shows or movies because any show/movie that involved human actors was deemed inappropriate by my mother so I was never able to relate with any of my friends. My friends often told me that I probably didn’t consider them as friends since I “never wanted to hang out”. In reality, I didn’t want to make my parents look bad and simply told my friends that I didn’t have time to go to their plans. My 14 year old sister stays in her room all day with the door closed, when I until now have someone barge in on me. I always told to get out of my room and be with family so I basically lived in the living room. Remember the COVID-19 lockdown? I did all my zoom meetings in the living room when I had a perfectly spacious room. My father told me that he liked this new house better because everyone is together. No double storeys to keep people separated and the rooms are all near each other. After graduating high school, I thought I would become a more improved version of myself in uni ( college, whatever you want to call it ) but boy was I gullible. I got my learners license 3 years ago but I don’t have my license because : 1- Anxiety 2- I saw no point in having one. It’s not like I was going places. I made all my classes online except for one day on campus. Despite all of my parent’s friends asking why I didn’t take the bus or train, whenever I brought up their comments, my parents would answer for me. “ Oh but you’ll be scared since you’ve never used public transport. You’ll be so lost or even miss your train!” True but I’m not scared. So my mum offered to drive me there. Getting ready, she’d tell me not to wear baggy clothes because it didn’t look nice. She’d also comment on how certain things made me look like a ball ( thanks to that extra 15kgs lockdown gave me ). Then she’d tell me to wear something different in case people notice that my pants were the same as last time. Then, she’d ask why I used my own shade of foundation, I needed a lighter one because fair skin looks nicer than tanned. She’d finally end up wearing something that looks like all her other black coloured clothing and we’d drive off.Around 40 minutes away, she decides to stay at uni since there’s no point in driving all the way back. I definitely didn’t enjoy it when she walked with me all the way to my class on the first day. Or when I have to walk back to the units coffee shop to meet my mum and walk back to the car together. Don’t get me wrong, its lovely spending time with parents but being privileged plus being heavily dependent on your parents gives other the impression that you’re an ignorant and spoilt snob. Or you’d get made fun of for not knowing how the outside world works. She makes sure to emphasise how she never has time because she always has to take the kids to school and take me to uni. Anyways, then I’d go back home, try to study with all the noise, end up wasting my entire day making empty promises to myself and have nothing done. Then at around 10-11pm, mum would announce that she’s tired and when she’s tired, we have to give her all of our electronics ( phone, iPad, laptop, switch, everything ). Then I’d have to wait until she waked up in the morning until I get my things back and thankfully she charged the phone but oh god she forgot the iPad this time, looks like lectures will have to be watched later. Nowadays, she tells me that I can keep my IPad /laptop with me until late so that I can study. I refuse each time. Why? I don’t enjoy pity. So now I sit here, not doing my skincare, not happy with my weight, no motivation to study, not bothered to complete simple tasks such as making my own bed, not going out with friends despite my parents getting mad and telling me that they aren’t stopping me from doing so. Well, surprise surprise, I’m pretty sure that none of my friends message me anymore since I never put in the time for them. Now, I watch my 14 year old sister FaceTiming and messaging all her friends. I look back and see my 9 year old sister FaceTiming her friends on her iPad, playing Roblox together. It’s messing me up and I sure as heck am jealous. My parents do love me but all of this pointing out my flaws, treating me like a child, not allowing me to be able to grasp a single fragment of a childhood memory really has turned me into this miserable, anger consumed person. I need to learn to suppress certain feelings while emphasising others. E.g. I could be so emotionally driven, anything would make me cry ( children’s movie, celebrities being cheered at, etc ) but I also can’t tell the difference between nervousness and anxiety. When I see my mother or sister cry, I feel awkward, sometimes annoyed. I’m not moved yet I remember what I need to do in steps and I only take action out of guilt so step one, see if they need to be alone, step two coax them, step three move in for a hug and so on. SO so sorry for this rant, was never given psychological help so I’ve kept most of my problems to myself. This would only accumulate to a quarter of my issues. Any advice is greatly appreciated !
P.s - I can’t move out ( religious reasons ) and I’ve never ignored my parents as it would make them fume with rage so I can’t do either of the two.

hi！ i’ve completed the enrollment process, save for a doctor’s memo that i havent gotten because the sp staff havent told me what specific condition they want to memo to be for 😭
its nearly april and i havent gotten any email about orientation…. is this normal？ has anyone else in pfp dmad gotten an email about this？
please let me know if i’m missing something jsjdjsjdks ;_; im terrified that i messed up somehow and got my place revoked… tysm！