Seeking an energetic, kind, easy to laugh, passionate, flirty, woman with matching energy. Something casual to start off is fine by me and see where things go from there. I prefer but not a deal breaker 22-33 based on career minded/stage of life/maturity. Quality time together and thoughtful gestures are my love language.
A little about me: 6ft. Healthy build, dark hair, trim beard, brown/olive eyes, well endowed, non smoker, active lifestyle, country boy at heart, conservative, family oriented, college educated with a professional career, skilled handyman, avid gardener, animal lover, great cook, seasoned traveler, big spoon advocate, no kids.

A couple months ago, I went on an ayahuasca retreat in South America. The flight tickets were crazy expensive, the retreat was affordable but still pretty pricey. But it was really worth it.
I had a beautiful experience with mother ayahuasca, where I got lost in the beauty of the colourful geometrical and fractal patterns that went on with both eyes closed and eyes opened. Everyone seemed incredibly beautiful to me, radiant, hopeful, wonderful. I wandered (in my mind) into a magical forest that sparkled in green and gold, with actual orbs and sparkles floating gently by. Someone whispered in my ears, "You're always welcome to rest here". I felt an incredible sense of peace and safety, and I felt unconditionally loved and completely accepted, something I had not experienced in real life before. I was so moved I cried.
The tears led to waves of sorrow, as I relived and processed past traumatic memories. I felt so sad, so resentful, and so broken as I wept. But at the same time, I felt loved. I was going through the pain and sorrow of the past from a place of complete acceptance and safety, and it made so much difference in how I re-experienced things. I kept remonstrating with my mother about why she didn't protect me, and realised the resentment did not stem from anger. It stemmed from sadness and a sense of rejection. I just kept crying, until eventually, the sorrow lifted. My heart was light again.
I also couldn’t stop yawning for an hour or so, time didn’t really matter then. I was soooo tired and I yawned so hard, I felt the wind sail right into my soul. Then I understood, from someone, something, somewhere, that I was a leopard in my past life. I was a leopard, who had gone through incredible battles. This leopard spirit just wanted to rest, and that was why I had been so lethargic, nearly every day, for so many years. I wanted my lethargy gone, but that would require waking the leopard up, bringing it to its full intensity.
“Are you sure you want it to awake? Perhaps you are afraid of what would happen when it does.” Someone asked. It was probably me, asking myself, but I can’t remember how the voice sounded in my head.
That’s when I realised that I was holding on, in some measure, to the lethargy. That perhaps, the lethargy was a convenient, familiar, comfortable shelter. I didn’t have to do much, I didn’t have to try. I didn’t have to fail at anything. I didn’t need to put in effort. The thought of the leopard’s spirit awakening, of intensity and passion filling my soul, of going at things at full strength and determination - that scared me. Could I have the energy and resilience to see things through? Did I want to try? Was I afraid of trying? Maybe I’m using my lethargy and depression as an excuse to not try. So that I wouldn’t fail.
I saw my partner as a leopard too. I was worried that we would both do ayahuasca and come out realising our lives were headed in different directions, but to both our relief, we just got this incredibly certain feeling within us, this spiritual confirmation, that we were meant to love each other, to care for one another.
The next ayahuasca ceremony, I was back at that magical forest, but at a different location. I was by a brilliant riverside, with the same green and gold light that permeated everything. Once again, someone told me that I was always welcome here. I nestled down in its mossy banks and watched the river flow.
I saw a bird-human too. The creature was made of muscle and bone, such that its wings were all red and pink, hard muscle and bone. She was majestic. Awe-inspiring. Beautiful. As I stood there in open-mouthed admiration, someone said to me (yes, in my head again), “Do you know what she had to go through to get those wings?” Knowledge just settled within me, that she had to go through incredible trials and tribulations for her wings to have developed.
Then I talked to a tree (the second ceremony was done in the day time). There was a beautiful bamboo grove and it was right before me (this was in real life), and suddenly, I heard this tutting, clicking sound, and I looked around to see where it was coming from. I slowly realised that it was emanating from me. I was making the tuts and clicks with my tongue. The tree responded then, with shushes and flowing sounds of the wind. We chatted back and forth, conveying emotions and concepts without words.
I asked what my purpose was, yet again. This time, someone answered, from deep within a dark forest (I think it was just a forest in the night time?), saying, “Come find us…”
On San Pedro, I just felt a tonne of rage, then anxiety. It didn’t help that one of the ceremonies was held in a sweat lodge. But I figured it was something I needed to feel, perhaps. I also had two clear thoughts while in there. The first was - I need to set boundaries, learn to confront and assert myself. If I don’t, I’m making the choice to continue to have others foist their crap upon me, and I’m the one who’s choosing not to remove myself from the situation. The second thought was short but very significant. It was that I can’t psychedelic my negativity away.
Then, in the new year, my partner and I decided to head to a nearby country to do some shrooms. And explore, of course. The whole trip cost us so much less.
It was INCREDIBLE. It was so intense. We did Penis Envy shrooms, and boy, those were absolute kickers in the brain.
The moment the shrooms kicked in, I noticed something wonderful. What first trickled in was a very very familiar sense of being in a special place full of mystical spirituality. It was the same sense that I felt while on ayahuasca. I felt like I had gone back to the same place where I had been while on ayahuasca, whatever realm it was.
“I’m back,” was my first thought.
The geometry, colours and fractals appeared too, and I began to see sparkles shimmering around the surfaces of everything.
Then I felt so much sadness. The sorrow almost suffocated me. It was so intense, so strong, so heavy, I felt like I would never get through it in my lifetime. That I would weep for the rest of my life. It was way more intense than when I was on ayahuasca. I cried for hours, it felt like. I was so sad about not just my life being meaningless, that life didn’t have a purpose, but also, I was heartbroken about how shitty the world was. The sad, terrible things that happened and keep happening in the world. I was torn apart by all the pain and suffering that everyone had to experience, and had experienced. I could barely catch my breath, I was crying so hard, crumpled on the floor.
Then the sorrow passed. And I lost track of who I was. I no longer knew who I was. I kept seeing my partner’s face, and kept thinking, I must be him. I am him. Then thinking, wait a minute, I’m a girl. I seem to remember I’m a girl. But am I? Who was I? I couldn’t, for the life of me, remember my name.
Then it ceased to matter. I went through so many crazy swirls of visions and experiences that it would take forever to tell. But the main gist was that I began to travel through different realms and universes. I saw a lady made of lines and shapes, and we hung out together in her garden, filled with flowers made similarly of just geometric shapes and lines. There, I found this lighthearted peace and sense of acceptance. I saw a guy with a face shaped like a yellow box, covered all over with eyes, so many of them. He looked at me with a smiling curiosity, we acknowledged each other’s presence, and we parted ways.
Most memorable of all, I went to this place where I was in the forest of the universe. In it, I could see across time, across places. There was a hauntingly beautiful music, which I instinctively understood to be the music of the universe. I sang along with it, and found that I could reach across time, bring forward different time periods to my grasp by singing different tunes. It was beautiful. I felt so incredibly potent, yet very very relaxed.
At some point, I felt a holy, divine light shining on my face. I’ve never felt that before, that sense of being divine and in the presence of something divine. I felt someone with a visage akin to Zeus smiling down at me, and he was a father-figure of sorts. I don’t really have a religion, and if I had to choose one, it’d be Buddhism, so I don’t really know why that visage appeared.
When I looked at my partner, I felt this unconditional love for him. I knew, suddenly, without a doubt, that he was the one I was destined for, and I knew that no matter what the cost, whatever it took, that I had to protect him, to keep him safe, and that I would always love him.
He later shared his experience with me, which was mindblowing, but much too long to write about here. A big thing he shared was that he saw through all of existence, time, space, possibilities, and at the end of everything, he saw me. And he felt an incredible sense of love for me.
There were terrifying moments (think he took a little too much), and there were moments when I thought we had ruined our lives with this trip, but once he gave into whatever was happening, stopped fighting, he was able to let go, experience immense catharsis.
For me, I realised the biggest message I could have got from psychedelics, was that I couldn’t find a purpose, a meaning, a direction, not when I haven’t even healed from my past hurts. I went to therapy, and after just 4 sessions, I’ve been feeling so much better, with so much more energy to explore different things I’d like to do. I’m still a lot more lethargic than most people I know, but I can now leave the bedroom not just for work, but also for things like doing up the house, going on a date night, things like that. I even got the energy to start my little hobbies again.
So suffice it to say that I’m a pretty big fan of psychedelics. And I’d recommend it to anyone, unless they have certain mental health conditions (e.g. psychosis, schizophrenia, bipolar, etc.). And as long as they do it responsibly (i.e. not take large doses they can’t handle, not do it just to party, not take risks while high). Like seriously. The dosage thing, when my partner took a little too much, there were times where I seriously thought our lives were over and we were either going to end up dead, or end up arrested. It was extremely terrifying. Don’t do large doses, especially not when you’re starting off. Just don’t do it.
That aside, those were my experiences with psychedelics, just felt like sharing them today.

This is from Heard's 4th set of interrogatories: Pg 844

“In January 2016 in L.A., Johnny hit me in the face and popped me in the eye. I had been in a fight with him about the kids. I thought it was important to talk to the kids as a united front because they were definitely feeling animosity around Johnny and I, and I didn't want them to pick up on something that wasn't explained to them. Johnny told me that I didn't need to because he'd already told them what happened and that they were mad at me. I thought it was so poorly handled and I was so discouraged and isolated enough as it was from his kids. We were trying to build a life together and build this marriage and here he was making me the bad guy to his kids, and his kids couldn't possibly understand the toxicity of our dynamic. That's what started the argument. I remember he said he wanted to fuck off, make music, and then he came home raging. I suspected he'd been taking something. He was in a mood to fight. We argued again.”

_________________________________
I wonder why Heard never tried to bring up this story during the trial. She certainly loved mentioning JD’s kids whenever she could.
This relates to the January 4th audio where JD & Heard are outside his recording studio. There were multiple excerpts admitted into evidence, but the full recording wasn’t admitted,
The audio excerpts in order
00:00 - 00:20: First-CL20192911-042522.m4a)
06:05 - 07:36 Second
30:02 - 31:45 Third-CL20192911-042522.m4a)
31:14 - 33:04 Fourth-CL20192911-042522.mp4)
49:48 - 50:53 Fifth
56:27 - 59:54 Sixth-CL20192911-042522.mp4)
Transcript of audio

• This audio is following the December 29th incident on the island that Tara Roberts witnessed, where Heard was clawing at JD, screaming at him, and then threw a can of mineral spirits at his face.
• His kids were there and as JD states Lily Rose overheard Heard screaming at him.
• Lily-Rose obviously hates Heard at this point and that's why Heard’s having a tantrum about JD visiting his daughter.
• Who knows what JD told his kids but he obviously didn't tell them about the physical assaults he’d been a victim of because he references them in the audio.
• I’m sure he tried to explain why Heard was screaming “your career is over,” “no one is going to hire you,” “you’re washed up,” “fat,” “you will die a lonely man”
• I love how she tries to reframe it by saying the kids were detecting some animosity between us so I thought we should talk to them together to explain things. Heard just wanted to twist & manipulate the story so JD’s kids took her side.
• Heard knows that the kids are now somewhat aware of how she treats JD so she threatens to start showing them pictures of her past “injuries”

FFS they’re JD kids!! He can tell them whatever he wants, you fucking sick lunatic!!

Recently I made a poll about the most evil character in the franchise. The results were as following:

1. Frank Fontaine
2. Yi Suchong
3. Zachary Hale Comstock

And while I understand these results, I still think Comstock is the most evil of all. Why? because he actually started a big scale war against the earth. Because of him, millions (if not billions) lost their lives, because in his eyes, people on earth were below him (literally and figuratively. He has a nickname for everyone on earth... "The Sodom below"). Not to mention his rampant racism, xenophobia and misogyny.
Comstock is for me the most evil because according to him, not everyone deserves a good life. Only those deemed good by him can achieve peace. Everyone else deserves to be punished.
Fontaine was evil, yes, but he's more like a power hungry individual and kinda generic evil guy. Suchong is really evil because he is completely detached from his humanity. For him, people are just possible experimental subjects. But Comstock sees everyone else as a sinner who deserves hell. That is one of the most dangerous types of individuals.
Suchong wouldn't seek war or to kill everyone, although he would assist one who does if that assures him survival and knowledge. Fontaine wouldn't probably start a big scale war, but would profit from by one selling plasmids and weapons to both sides. Comstock would happily kill every single human being he considers unworthy. Not for science of money, but from bigotry and self-righteousness.
But what do you think?

i think i’m reaching my limit.
my mother doesn’t love me unconditionally like she loves my father, practically worships the men in her life because she’s so fucking stupid to stand up on her two little feet for once. she’ll end up killing herself for him and i will just have to watch it happen, hating myself for loving her unconditionally despite how much she hates me. hates my body, hates my personality, hates my happiness and hates my depression. hates all of me, in ways that i never thought a parent could hate their child. a men-over-pride kind of woman, the kind that will have nothing to show for except an old wedding band and belly scars. i hate my father. i hate that he’s the pinnacle of man, that he believes himself to be above god’s words and yet he’s reaping what he sowed. i hate my parents for beating me as a child because they didn’t know any better as immigrants, i hate my parents for not being better parents, i hate my parents for the fact that they will choose each other and any of my other siblings over me. i hate that i will never be their first choice and somehow i’m supposed to be fine with it. i hate my life. i don’t perform well academically because of some adhd, but yet i still want to be a teacher. i wanted to publish a book at one point.
yet i’m hopeless. i hate my life. i want to die because i’m unloved by the people who should’ve loved me more than anything in the world and yet they hate me. my father’s perverted and conservative views hate me, hate me for being a daughter instead of a son, hates me because i refuse to bear a child when my own parents couldn’t even love their own. i hate being an american child, seeing the drastic difference between parents and seeing just how much family love is so genuine and yet there is no warm in my home. there is no love. i’m a college drop-out, struggling to find a job, struggling to learn out to drive, struggling to find a way to live and maybe i’m just a spoiled brat. i know my parents feed me, keep my head out of the rain, will keep the house warm when it is cold. but love is not a requirement and they will never show me that. why cant i have one thing?
i wish i was born in a different life. where my mom didn’t insist that starving me was right, where she could think with a mind pure of her husband’s influence and pure devotion to men, where she could love me with eyes that didn’t despise me. i wish i had a dad that loved me, that stayed for me even if he had to work. that didn’t now try and form a relationship now that he’s old and dying, that he could put down his views once and fucking see me. i wish i was a better older sister, who could shield my sister from anything and be the best role model in the world. yet i’m fucking miserable. i’m depressed and i’m clutching this bottle of tylenol, crying through grit teeth because i don’t want to live anymore. i don’t want to live this life. i would rather die than live this life.
i am so exhausted.

I'm 44 f partner 47 m.ok so he has had an addiction to porn looking at women online throughout his life.earjy in realationship I asked him stop.we are together 4 yrs.in public he has no self awareness checking out women very bad .so recently I found out every night when I go to bed he is looking at anything to do with women's bodies for months.confronted him.said he'd stop.2 weeks later seen he commented under YouTube videos on women.i told him I will leave my self esteem is broken.in restaurant the other night he turned head 3 times to check out young girls ass..I said nothing.so yest morn getting dressed for work .I shook my bum in front of him only to see in bed his eyes closed not looking at me.i felt very insecure and hurt in that moment thinking if I was another girl like one in restaurant hed check me out.i left the room to gather myself but he noticed I was in upset.he started giving out saying I was causing a row.i left to avoid one .I sent him a msg explaining it was just a moment of dented self esteem how he had. Checked out girl other night and I wonder will this stuff ever stop.. and he had promised few weeks ago to have patience with me around these hurts.i came home last night and he is barely talking to me or again this morning..please advice me .has he right to be like this with me?am I too sensitive am I wrong ?

I have always dreamed, goal of mine to get away from my family and all people if I worked hard I could live by myself and never ever have any obligation to speak to another human being so long as I had my ducks in a row both financially and in general (think ordering groceries and just leave it at the door, tip well, go away). I'm getting older and I hate how much I keep needing to interact with people, I don't have anyone in my life other than my parents but even they are on my last tiny nerves... except we've been needing eachothers help a lot.
They're old and need help, I'm getting older and sometimes need help when im getting sick or life happens. This flop era is turning into a flop lifetime. I'm drained seeing people.
I just want to wake up 1 day in my own place and hear complete and total silence, never cross paths with another human being, never make eye contact or play the dumb game of "social interaction" and just have enough... stuff to get my needs met. Not even an escape I just want to exist solely.

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Yea, this is completely out of left-field but this is a neat little thought I've had in my mind the past couple days as a Godzilla fan and triops enthusiast. This was probably fueled by me rewatching the Godzilla triops video that I fondly remember watching years ago. I shouldn't need to say this but it is obviously fake, but it is still an entertaining watch that I'm sure many of you have already seen before
Why Phoenix, AZ?

• The name itself, Phoenix, has obvious symbolism when it comes to triops. The phoenix rising from the ashes is comparable to the vernal pool teeming with life, drying out, and springing back to life once more.
  
• Arizona is one state in the US that has an endemic triops population, notably T. longicaudatus, a hermaphroditic species. The fact that it can reproduce on its own adds to the fear factor and fits thematically with some popular monster depictions, such as the 1998 Godzilla film where Zilla's babies play an important role in the final act. ^{Side note: this isn't a good Godzilla film :(}
  
• Man's hubris. Phoenix is one example some people point out as a shining example of what's wrong with contemporary urban planning and modern civilization as a whole. I shouldn't need to elaborate on this further, but for those who want a better explanation, Phoenix is a very unsustainable city. A strong dependence on the dwindling Colorado riveaquifers, massive urban sprawl (read: very car-centric), and extreme temperatures have made Phoenix environmentally very inefficient, even with current regulations in place. There is absolutely no reason for large golf courses and Kentucky blue grass lawns to exist in the middle of a desert while the threat of climate change is ever looming over this city. The original Godzilla was a narrative on the danger's of nuclear weapons and likewise the recent Shin Godzilla dealt with the implications behind nucleanatural disaster and the political climate of Japan. The point I'm trying to make is this hypothetical triops kaiju would be a symbol of the effects of climate change and man's hubris in addressing it in the same spirit how Godzilla symbolizes the lack of prudence with nuclear technology and the responsibility of mankind. What better city would fit this theme than Phoenix?
  
• Arizona's soil, notably in the desert regions, is typically sandy or gravelly. We all know triops love digging in this stuff!
  
• Triops tend to grow faster and are more active the warmer it gets. Arizona can get pretty hot. Shouldn't need to elaborate further
  

Okay, so if you're still with me you see why Phoenix is this kaiju's own Tokyo. Now we can get to the fun part, which is what characteristics this kaiju would have along with a potential name

• Ebira (shrimp-ra, a common suffix for kaijus) would be a fitting name for this beast, but that name is already taken by this lovely crustacean! Instead, I propose Kabura would be a fitting name. Kabuto is Japanese for helmet, hence beni-kabuto ebi. Most kaiju names are 3 syllables and end in -ra, so Kabura is what I would name this creature. Incidentally, kabu means turnip, which I find adorable and gives us a color scheme in our next point
  
• With Kabura as a name, it would be fitting to make this triop turnip colored. The top of the carapace would be a lovely purple color that fades to white ventrally. This is a unique color for a triop and honestly I would love to have one like it.
  
• Every good kaiju needs a beam attack. I don't make the rules that's just how it is. A blue colored beam would contrast the red/orange rocks and landscape around Phoenix nicely, but the G-man already has dibs on this one. Going back to the turnip colors, purple would fit nicely and also contrast with the scenery just as well. I also find it natural that this beam comes from its third eye
  
• How would Kabura come to be? To fit in with the already established themes, I believe a train derailment would be fitting. After the disaster in East Palestine the absurd amount of train derailments in this country has taken to the public's interest. In fact, there was recently a train carrying corn syrup that derailed in Arizona. This plays into the whole "negligent stewards of the Earth" theme based on the impact these derailments have on the environment and communities when hazardous materials are released. For this monster, I find a train carrying Potassium-40 derailing in the Arizona desert as a suitable creation story. Of course this isn't realistic in the slightest (we're talking about giant shrimps after all!) but it is a nod to the original Godzilla triops video.
  
• Notable abilities. This baby can dig with its gigantic appendages like no other. I can see it spending most of its time underground and in particular resting inside an aquifer where it also lays its eggs, only coming out to feed or to protect its clutch. This has the potential to be a focal point of this story, as now an important source of water is not only inhabited/made unpotable by a titan, but might need to be destroyed outright before its eggs have a chance to hatch. A little allegory for the consequences of eco-disasteclimate change.
  
• As hinted earlier, the real threat posed by this monster is that it can impregnate itself and create an exponentially growing problem as these triops grow and gain an appetite to match, fitting perfectly with the theme by representing the positive feedback-loops associated with climate change.
  
• Finally, the question you're probably all wondering is how big would this monster be. The original Godzilla was 50m tall with later depictions doubling this height. I could see this kaiju when full grown as being 50m tall as well, but 150m long. I could see it being able to temporarily raise its body using its tail to a height of 100m, putting it face-to-face with modern Godzilla
  

And that's all I really felt like writing as this post is long enough already. Feel free to leave any thoughts below. I know the talk of climate change might be controversial to some viewers, but just think of it as an excuse for this fictional thing to exist.

When a young, devastated Snape faced the end of the war, escaping a life sentence in Azkaban by the skin of his teeth, he thought teaching wasn't such a bad idea.
It was after the first week, the third near death experience, and seventh exploded cauldron that he had sat down and written his resignation letter. But Dumbledore was surprisingly difficult to pin down when he tried to hand in his two weeks. It was nearly three months before he was able to track him down. He did so by sticking Dumbledore's iridescent robes to his during breakfast for the fifth time. This time stealing a devils snare from Pomona to keep Dumbledore tied to his chair. Dumbledore's eyes sparkled as he refused to accept his resignation.
"Really Severus," he said, "after everything we've been through? After the sacrifices we've made to get you here? I can't protect you from the ministry out there. Best give it a year or two, until I can find your replacement. "
Begrudgingly and guiltily he agreed. But years went by and nothing had changed. He needed a plan. Anything to get away from these dunderheaded children.
He applied to the Defense Against the Dark Arts position for the first time five years after he started as a teacher.
"My passion has always been in protecting oneself." He told the hiring committee. He even made it to the second round of interviews.
...
The fourth time he applied to the DADA position, he tried polyjuice for the first time.

I thought I'd be dead before I ever lived,
My elegy nothing but a list of what ifs.
So close to being alive, not quite, but almost,
Being too different was like being a living ghost.
What’s a beating heart and lungs that breathe,
If you’re invisible, and separated from the living?
A cage of fear, my mind made,
But refused me a key, so there I stayed.
It's the glass box out of which I could see, But never leave.
A sentencing from which there’d been no reprieve.
Until.
If angels exist, one day one brushed past me,
At that moment, some unknown force grasped me
One look into her almond eyes,
And I felt my apathy shrivel up and die.
I had to be free, nothing else mattered,
My glass walls had to be cleaved, I would’ve died to have them shattered.
I knew immediately that everything had changed,
Once I confidently asked her name.
No stutter, no paralysis,
No shaking, no over analysis.
I asked her out,
A rebel cry against my own doubt.
Later at her door, it opened and so did I,
Struggling to contain what I felt at such at such a perfect sight.
As we spoke, I took my first breath in years,
Getting to know her mind was worth 2 lifetimes of tears.
With time and with magnetic force, our souls converged,
With the gravity of a galaxy, our minds began to merge.
Our lives drew our hands together, then our lips,
Our days became poetry, our moments became bliss.
Death’s promised kiss never would’ve tempted me before,
Had I known that underneath the layers, life was hiding this and more.
Our inside jokes and knowing glances, would have been buried in paths unexplored,
If I stayed on a familiar shore, my boat safely moored.
One night as we laid on our backs outside,
With our magnetized hearts and eyes to the sky,
I told her she brought me back to life,
To which she tells me, so did I.
It’s true, she did, in the span of a minute,
That’s how long I spent in this lovely fantasy isn’t it?
I close my eyes before returning to reality,
Where I turn in fear from the beautiful stranger before me.

Since I was 4 or 5 this pos abused me on a daily basis, I wouldn't say thank you fat enough and he would slap me across my face Or I would make to much noise and have to apologise and go too bed and look at my wall he even threatened to kill me multiple times strangling me and saying things like "I can push you down the stairs right now and say you fell. I could tie you up and cut you up and Bury you in the back yard tonight and just say you ran away"
Not to mention he molested me multiple times touching my privates grabbing my nipples and twisting them and getting aroused he was a junkie. Addicted to cocaine and more too
You can see how I would have trauma from this About 6 years ago I got away from him and every night I have had thoughts about him nightmares almost every day. Lucid dreams where he would try and kill me or I would have to submit to him.
Yesterday a man came to my door after walking around my house he knocked on the door rang the bell and stood still even with the dog barking he was unfazed just stood still listening for a couple minutes then walked around to the back of our house I went upstairs to look out but he wasn't there.
I am almost 100% sure It's him I haven't seen him since I was 12 I got rid of everything similar to him and I couldn't even say his name without crying
But to get to the point. We have moved house I remember seeing a car follow me a few months ago and now I think it was him. I also think his brother tried to talk with me around the same time I think he has been stalking everyone in the house for a while now and I think he wants to kill someone we have never tried to contact him and changed all our information.
He came to the door with wide eyes and tight like he was going to punch someone the second the door was opened. He was also known for carrying weapons.
It is surreal like something from. A horror movie.
I don't know what to do or how to feel. I am waking up at 2 am covered in sweat unable to sleep properly and now I want revenge But at the same time I don't want to ruin my life I Don't know how someone could do this.
Torture their family and come back years later still pissed off for no reason trying again. It enrages me. I want to make him feel how I felt all those years ago
at the same time worrying what he or his friends will try to do to us I think this trauma will never end
Tldr:
Junkie stepdad somehow found our new address. Came to house high don't know what to do.
He went to prison for drug charges that's the only reason we got away btw. I have a small amount of evidence of the abuse but unsure I will be taken seriously or if I can even do anything since it was 6 years ago.

I'm looking for someone younger who I can show the ropes in several facets of life :) Also, I like bullets, so here's the rundown:
Me:

• 32, well educated, have a good job and life in general.
  
• 6'0/184cm, 210lbs/94kg and decently muscular. I do lifting and martial arts. I don't have a 7%bf or anything, but you can tell I work out and stay active. To quote an old friend, "you've got the physique of an ex-soviet PE teacher I had, he destroyed us on dodgeball" :P, meaning I'l pretty broad shouldered, got a big chest and look like I could carry most people around if I wanted to.
  
• I'm confident enough to say that I'm decently attractive.
  
• I live in Scandinavia. My job takes me around the world however, which I love. I'm open to relocation if everything works out.
  

You:

• You care about your looks and health. You think you're attractive(because, if anything, that means you're confident).
  
• It's OK if you don't have life and career figured out, don't worry.
  
• You're naturally submissive sexually, but not passive. You clearly know the difference between the two. I'm ok with a balanced dynamic outside of the bedroom :)
  
• I am open to all races. Most importantly, you're into Scandinavian looking men(tall, light eyes), because I can't really change that fact about me, ha.
  
• You're from anywhere in the world. Asynchronous communication is OK and even expected. You're articulate in written form as it's how we'll primarily communicate. It's OK if English isn't your native language(it isn't mine, either!) - we'll figure it out :)
  
• You're culturally open, and like to try new things.
  
• You're not a smoker, anti-vaxxer, massive conspiracy theorist or anything of the like.
  

Please do PM/chat me. I'd like to swap face pictures early on in a safer manner(i.e. not reddit) and take it from there.

Activity: 6 player matchmade battleground, is like a mix between Menagerie and Ketchcrash; solo player activity, Citans Hideouts (much like pirate hideouts)
Locations: Kings watch, Cosmodrone; Dark Forest, EDZ; Hellmouth, Moon; Doomed Sea, Plaguelands
A long-forgotten Warlord of the Dark Ages has resurfaced with the darkness, the long-lost Warlord Citan is back. With the aid of Efrideet, Lord Saladin, and Shiro-4, defeat the Scorn armies amassed by Warlord Citan and the Wrathborn off Xivu Arath, take the fight to each of Warlord Citans forts in the Cosmodrone, Nessus, the Moon, and the Plaguelands.
Story: Guardians and Ghost have been reported missing by the Hidden, Saladin reports that the once feared Warlord Citan has returned, Shiro will be your eyes and ears in the Hellmouth, Efrideet for Nessus, Saladin for Cosmodrone and Nessus.
Week 1: Discover the return of Warlord Citan, storm the fort in the Cosmodrone in the 6 player matchmade battleground, meet Saladin on Caitals flag ship, track down a disciple of Citan, defeat the disciple of Citan (Pirate hideout type missions) so forth...
​
week 3 on the moon is when the Wrathborn come into play but only on the moon
When it reaches week 6 is when the plaguelands battleground is availabe, this is where you face Warlord Citan, and destroy his Ghost.
season end event, Xivu Arath attacks the Last city, then Final shape DLC
​
Dungeon: Citans usage of the darkness has brought disastrous life back into the plaguelands, Efrideet offers to help you on the dungeon as your eyes and ears, the once Siva riddled Devils have now become Scorn, and a deep trouble lurks, vanquish it before it reaches the surface and destroys the Cosmodrone
3 encounters
1: Find you way into Bunker Trivag and vanquish the once Devils captain now Scorn baron
2: Descend into the Archons keep and defeat the waves of Scorn in the Archons Forge
3: delve into the Warrens into Site 6 and vanquish the evil within, the Scorn Tormentor "Kesdissi" who also can shoot a beam from their eye like an Ogre.
​
(NO SIVA, THERE IS NO SIVA)

In the pursuit of personal gain, human greed often blinds us to the broader implications of our actions. We become fixated on acquiring more, driven by a relentless desire to climb the ladder of success, wealth, and status. Exploiting those who are vulnerable and desperate, willing to do anything to improve their lives can lead to consequences that not only impact society at large but also our personal environment. In this story, Robert Nelson is about the experience of the consequences of his greed that will stay with him forever like haunting echoes.
***
Naya Redbird, a Native American woman with long, dark hair and bright eyes, stood in her front yard surrounded by a crowd of people. She was holding a bundle of herbs in her hand and talking passionately about their healing properties.
The people were amazed by Naya's knowledge and enthusiasm. They could see the genuine care and passion in her eyes, and they felt hopeful that this herb could be the answer they had been looking for.
"As Native Americans, we have always turned to nature to heal ourselves here, in British Columbia," Naya explained, her voice carrying across the street. "And this herb in particular is a gift from the Earth herself. It can heal anyone and anything."
The passer-bys had stopped in their tracks upon hearing Naya's words. Some of them were sick and in pain, and they looked at her with a mix of hope and skepticism. As Naya continued to speak, more and more people gathered around her. There were those who suffered from joint pain, leg pain, and even a blind person who was looking for a cure. Naya listened intently to each person's story.
One woman in a wheelchair rolled up closer to Naya and asked, "Can this herb really help me? I've been in this chair for years and nothing has worked."
Naya smiled warmly and replied, "Come here, please. But before we begin, what is your name?"
"I'm Elena," the woman replied.
"Nice to meet you, Elena. Now, let me see what I can do," Naya said as she reached for a small herb from her bag.
She spread some dried leaves onto Elena's legs, which had been paralyzed for years. The two women waited in silence as the herb worked its magic, and then suddenly, Elena's legs started to twitch and shake.
A few moments later, Elena stood up from her wheelchair, her eyes wide with amazement. "I can walk!" she exclaimed, tears streaming down her face.
The people who had gathered around them gasped in shock and amazement at the sight before them.
"I can't believe it," one person murmured. "She's been in that wheelchair for years."
Naya smiled at Elena and said, "I'm so glad I could help you. Now go and enjoy your newfound freedom."
Then, a young girl led by her mother approached Naya. The girl was wearing sunglasses and she held a white cane in her hand.
Naya looked at the girl and asked gently, "What is your name, my dear?"
"My name is Sofia," the girl replied with a hint of trepidation in her voice.
Naya smiled reassuringly, "Don't worry, Sofia. I'm here to help you. Now tell me, how long have you been blind?"
"I've been blind for as long as I can remember," Sofia replied, her voice barely above a whisper.
Naya asked the girl to lie down and, reached into her pocket and took out another portion of dried leaves. She then distributed it to the girl’s closed eyes.
"Close your eyes, Sofia, and relax," Naya instructed.
The girl complied, and Naya began to hum a soft tune as she gently massaged the herb paste into Sofia's eyelids. After a few minutes, she whispered a few words in a language that no one in the crowd could understand.
Suddenly, Sofia's eyes snapped open, and she gasped in surprise. For the first time in her life, she could see.
"I can see! I can see!" Sofia cried out, tears streaming down her face.
The crowd around them erupted in cheers and applause, stunned by the miracle they had just witnessed.
Naya hugged Sofia and whispered, "Go and explore the world, my dear. You have a lot to catch up on."
Sofia hugged Naya back and then ran towards her mother, who was crying tears of joy.
The people around them whispered in awe and admiration at Naya's incredible gift of healing. For them, Naya was nothing short of a miracle worker, and they couldn't wait to see what she would do next.
Matt stood in the midst of the bustling crowd, his eyes darting around anxiously. He needed those herbs for his ailing mother, but he had no idea how to get them. After he figured out his next move, he started walking around the house keeping a low profile so as not to arouse suspicion.
Matt waited for a few minutes, making sure that no one was watching him before he carefully made his way around the back of the house.
The garden was well-tended and beautifully decorated with colorful flowers and exotic plants.
The place was a vibrant tapestry of colors and textures, bursting with life and energy. As Matt stepped into the garden, he was greeted by a riot of colors, ranging from the deep blues of the lupines to the bright reds of the Indian paintbrushes. The garden was alive with the sound of buzzing bees and fluttering butterflies, flitting from flower to flower in a dance of pollination.
The garden was meticulously arranged in a circular pattern, with a central fire pit surrounded by a ring of stones. The fire pit was filled with burning coals, sending up spirals of smoke that drifted lazily through the air. The stones around the pit were arranged in a spiral pattern, each one engraved with intricate symbols and patterns.
The plants in the garden were arranged in a series of raised beds, each one bursting with a different array of plants and herbs. Matt could see rows of corn stalks standing tall, their green leaves rustling in the breeze. He could smell the heady aroma of sage and sweetgrass, their fragrances mingling in the air.
In the center of the garden stood a small teepee, its canvas sides painted with intricate designs and symbols. The door of the teepee was open, and Matt could see a fire burning inside, sending up flickering shadows that danced across the walls.
As he walked deeper into the garden, Matt could feel a sense of reverence and respect for the Native American culture that had created this beautiful space. The garden was a tribute to the land, a celebration of nature's beauty, and a reminder of the wisdom and traditions of the people who had called this place home for generations.
As he walked deeper into the garden, Matt felt a sense of peace and tranquility wash over him. He had always been fascinated by Indian culture, and this garden felt like a little slice of paradise.
And the next moment, Robert noticed what he was looking for in the corner of the garden, there was the mysterious dried plant that Naya had been showing to the people in the street. He looked around carefully and he took three bags with him, he stole them and took them home.
As Robert scanned the garden, his eyes locked onto the object of his search: the dried plant shrouded in an aura of mystery, the same one Naya had been showcasing to the curious onlookers in the street. He surveyed his surroundings with keen attention, ensuring that no prying eyes were upon him, before grabbing hold of the three bags. With a quick, furtive movement, he liberated the plant from its spot and tucked it securely into the bags. Satisfied with his acquisition, Robert promptly departed for home and he already knew what he was going to do with them.
Excitedly, got into his car and headed for Seattle the next day. As he settled into his seat, he couldn't help but think about the event he had planned for the upcoming weekend.
Upon arrival in Seattle, Robert immediately set to work on his preparations. He posted an event on Facebook, advertising himself as a powerful healer capable of curing any ailment. He had even booked a large lecture hall at a local community center for the event.
As he typed away at his laptop, he could feel the anticipation building inside of him. "This is going to be incredible," he murmured to himself.
After he arrived, Robert nervously paced the lecture hall, checking and re-checking the setup. Just as he was about to step on stage, a man in the audience approached him.
"Excuse me, sir," the man said. "I couldn't help but notice your advertisement. Can you really heal anything?"
Robert turned to the man with a confident smile. "Absolutely," he said. "I have a gift that can cure any ailment known to man. I even offer a warranty."
The man looked skeptical. "How much do you charge for a healing?" he asked.
Robert thought for a moment before replying, "One healing for 500 dollars."
The man raised an eyebrow. "That's quite steep," he said. "But if you can really heal anything, it'll be worth it."
Robert nodded, feeling a surge of excitement. "Trust me," he said. "You won't be disappointed."
Robert treated a lot of people during the lecture. He used the dried leaves. But oddly, the leaves did not heal the people immediately as they worked with Naya. This made him nervous but he thought the leaves might work later.
Robert stood on the stage, surrounded by a crowd of people who had come to seek his healing powers. He held the mysteriously dried leaves in his hands, ready to work his magic.
He started treating the people, placing his hands on them and rubbing the leaves on their skin. However, he quickly noticed that the leaves didn't seem to have an immediate effect like they did when Naya used them. Robert felt a twinge of nervousness in his gut.
"Is everything okay?" a woman asked him, noticing the hesitation in his movements.
Robert forced a smile. "Yes, everything is fine," he replied. "It might take a little time for the leaves to work their magic."
He continued treating the people, but as time went on, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. Finally, one of the people he had treated approached him with a concerned expression.
"I don't feel any different," the person said.
Robert's heart sank. "Just give it some time, madam," he said.
As the event continued, Robert grew increasingly worried. The dried leaves he had so confidently brought with him seemed to have lost their potency. He couldn't help but wonder what had gone wrong.
After the event, Robert was left alone with the dried leaves. He examined them closely, searching for any signs of damage or decay. But to his surprise, the leaves appeared to be perfectly intact.
"What's going on?" he muttered to himself.
But he did not worry for long because the money that he earned was a lot. More than 8000 dollars. He knew he was going to be rich with these magical plants, whatever they were. He checked into a hotel and the next day he made another event on Facebook that he would heal people.
Despite the initial setback, Robert's spirits lifted as he counted the money he had earned from the event. The total amount was more than 8000 dollars, which was far beyond what he had expected.
Robert smiled to himself, feeling a rush of excitement. "This is just the beginning," he thought. "With these magical plants, I'm going to be rich."
He checked into a luxurious hotel, relishing in the feeling of the crisp sheets and soft pillows. As he lay in bed, he pondered his next move. He knew that he had to make the most of this opportunity while he still could.
The next day, he made another event on Facebook, announcing that he would be holding another healing session.
As Robert was preparing for his next healing session, there came loud and angry knocks on his hotel room door. He hesitantly opened it, only to be met with a horde of people in the hallway, all of them looking very agitated and upset.
"What's going on?" Robert asked, his voice shaking with fear.
"You're a fraud!" one of the people in the crowd shouted. "We're all much sicker than we were before!"
The people who had come to confront Robert looked visibly worse than they had the day before. They appeared pale and weak, with dark circles under their eyes. Some of them were coughing and wheezing, while others were holding their stomachs in obvious pain. It was clear that whatever ailments they had been hoping to cure had not only gone untreated but had worsened after the supposed healing session.
Some of them appeared to be in a state of utter misery, with their bodies wracked by pain and suffering. A woman was clutching her stomach and groaning in agony. Others were struggling to breathe, their chests heaving with each labored inhalation. Many had dark, sunken eyes and pale, clammy skin, and some were even trembling with fever. Robert wondered how those people could come to his hotel. Their anger was probably so strong that it gave them enough energy.
It was clear that whatever ailments they had been hoping to cure had not only gone untreated but had worsened to a dangerous degree after the supposed healing session. Their anger was fueled not only by disappointment and a sense of betrayal but also by a growing sense of desperation as they searched for a cure for their afflictions. The sight of them was enough to make Robert's heart sink with guilt and regret.
Robert's heart sank as he realized what was happening. The people from his previous healing session had come to confront him, and they were not happy.
"We want our money back," another person yelled.
"And we want you to stop scamming people," a third person added.
Robert tried to reason with them, explaining that he had done his best to heal them with the magical leaves. But the people were not in a forgiving mood. They barged into his room, causing chaos and destruction.
“My cancer is worse!” a man said coughing.
As Robert watched in horror, the people ransacked his belongings and demanded that he give them back their money. As the people grew increasingly agitated, Robert could sense that things were about to take a turn for the worse. Suddenly, some individuals who were still in a slightly better condition lunged at him, grabbing him by the collar and slamming him against the wall. Others quickly joined in, pummeling him with fists and kicking him when he fell to the ground. Robert tried to shield himself, but the blows kept raining down on him, each one more painful than the last. He could feel the sting of bruises forming on his face and body, and the taste of blood in his mouth. Despite his attempts to fight back, he was outnumbered and overpowered. The beating seemed to go on forever, until finally, the people grabbed their money and fled the scene, leaving Robert battered and broken on the hotel room floor. The experience left him traumatized and deeply shaken, both physically and emotionally.
After rummaging through his drawers, they left him there without his money.
Robert became very disappointed and drove back to his town, Black Rain. There, he went to Naya’s place. She was in her garden, gardening. She was surprised as a stranger was approaching him. Robert looked terribly beaten up. Then Robert asked why the plants did not work. They made people sicker. Naya was first surprised and realized Robert had stolen the plants. And she told Robert that he should not have stolen the plants. The plants were free. The plants had been guarded by a spirit and he puts a curse on the greedy people.
With a heavy heart, Robert left Seattle and drove back to his hometown of Black Rain. He was a broken man, both physically and emotionally, after the disastrous healing session and subsequent beating. He had lost his faith in the magical healing powers of the dried leaves and felt like a fool for ever believing in them.
When he arrived in Black Rain, he knew that he had to seek out Naya for answers. She was the only one who could explain why the leaves had failed him and why they had made the people he had treated even sicker.
As he approached the garden again, he could see Naya in the distance, tending to her plants. The woman looked up when she saw him approaching, surprised to see him in such a state.
"Robert, what happened to you?" she asked, noticing the bruises and cuts on his face.
"It...it didn’t work," Robert muttered, looking down at his feet.
“What?”
Robert finally broke down and told her everything, from stealing the plants to the disastrous healing session and subsequent beating. Naya listened patiently, her face growing increasingly grave. When Robert finished, she took a deep breath and spoke.
"These plants are guarded by a powerful spirit who probably put a curse on the plants that you used."
“I don’t understand…why?”
As Naya was about to reply, a group of men entered the garden and began to carry large bags filled with the dried plants towards the gate, where they loaded them onto a truck.
“These plants are free for everyone and are being donated. You needn’t have stolen them.”
“So the spirit put a curse on it because I stole it?”
“Not exactly. You don’t understand? You did it for greed. I did it for love.”

I have had countless nightmares throughout my life, typically occurring every other night. My most recent one, and one of the worst I've had in a while, happened during a vacation I just got home from. I will need to put some context into this, and this story will be rather long, so bear with me here.
In my most recent nightmare I mentioned above, I woke up normally in my house. It was the middle of the night, but I was hungry, and decided to sneak down the stairs and into the kitchen to grab a snack without waking up my family. Once I was a few feet from the refrigerator, I heard footsteps from several entities behind me. I turned around to see just a few black figures, huddled tightly in a group. I knew who three of the five were by the outlines. They were all hostile animatronics, the ones from the horror video game, Five Nights at Freddy's 4. The video game franchise as a whole does not scare me, nor do really any horror movies or games, so it was weird seeing them watching me grab my snack. I saw the animatronic bear, chicken, and rabbit, but not the fox, and I had no idea who the other 2 figures were. Their eyes were not glowing in the slightest, and they were not approaching me, but only moving exactly as I do, and never getting too close. This did not concern me in the slightest, as a typical hallucination looks just like that for me. I went back to my room to eat my snack and fall sleep, when they stopped moving in their typical pattern, and spread out around the house.
Once I was back in my room, and I had tucked myself back into bed, and I felt the worst sense of sudden dread in my life, as if something terrible was about to happen. I knew by some nightmare logic that the figures really were hunting me down, and then I got scared, knowing that I do feel pain in my nightmares. Indeed, I was about to suffer. I sat in my bed, paralyzed with fear about the situation, and planned to just sit there and pray until sunrise. Worst of all, my door was wide open, and with my bed right next to it, an attack could be too sudden. I was going to have to be lucky, as the animatronics were moving in random patterns, entering rooms around the house. 15 minutes later, I heard footsteps coming to my door. I was paralyzed with fear and dread, because there was one animatronic in particular that I knew was going to take his time and torture me if I was ever caught by him. The animatronic entered my room, but luckily it was not the one I feared most. It was certainly about to kill me still, so I was rapidly planning ways of how I could make my death as fast as it could be. I threw my head into it's jaws, reached my arms out, and crunched it's teeth down into my head. It was fast and painless.
Of course, it's a nightmare, and it was not nearly over yet. That was the easy part done. I woke up again after death, in the same situation again, but outside, in an open field on my land. The layout of the field made the experience worse in a way, as it was mostly open, but with a strip of dense forest running through the middle that takes up about one third of the field. At the bottom and and top were ways through it, without having to go through the brush. This is all on about 5 acres of land, so I did not have much of a place to hide from my now sprinting animatronic pursuers. I woke up with the animatronics in a full sprint everywhere in the field. They were sprinting at all times, even if I had not been seen. I got up, ran, and hid in the densely forested area, and in a thick bush. I waited and got spotted eventually, so I got up and ran until I could no longer run. Eventually, I was caught again, but my death would hurt this time. I died via stab wounds to the gut, and all around the torso, but I was stabbed mercifully fast.
This experience, being a nightmare, meant I still had to die another time. This death would be very different, though. I woke up for the third time, but with the worst dread of my life. The fear this time was unspeakable. For no apparent reason, I was far more scared this time around. I was in the house again, and in my bed, but I stayed in bed and never got out. I just sat up, and waited for sunrise again. I had more hope this time, as the sun was only about twenty minutes from officially rising. I was starting to see light in the sky, but with more fear than I have ever had before, bad instincts kicked in. You see, in the house was a system of 6 radio-like devices me and the family used for communication. I held the "Talk" button, and spoke a message into all the rooms in the house, hoping for my family to respond. As you could imagine this was idiotic. I kept staring at my radio, waiting for a reply, when I heard a reply from my family, but something was awfully wrong. The reply came from the radio I was at, and from directly behind me, on the other side of the bed. I turned around and saw the one animatronic I hoped would never get me, and I was about to suffer.
I backed out of my bed, and into the corner of the room. It approached me awfully slow, giving me the opportunity to run at it, and deliver multiple two foot kicks to the body. I hoped these would do something, but the animatronic was utterly un-phased. Here, I finally saw a red glow in the animatronic's eyes, as it still slowly closed the distance to me. It got to me, put it's hands on my shoulder, and looked down at me, with eyes flickering on and off. This was about to be it, the worst pain of my life. There, I was tortured for minutes upon minutes. It peeled the skin off my arms and legs like giant gloves, sliced tendons and ligaments, and cracked all of my ribs, while keeping me alive. All my other bones were being fractured, and I was getting big cuts in my chest all over the place. It kept me alive until I had looked like a mangled corpse smeared on the ground.
Finally, I got to wake up, and I stayed up for about 2 hours before going back to sleep. Once I woke up, I really was unaffected, and not scared anymore, even in the dark room. When I did go back to sleep, however, I started dreaming again. I woke up in a continuation of that same dream, but this time, in the middle of an unknown forest...
​
For those who do not know what I am talking about, below is an image of the being that killed me for the third time in my nightmare. I know this is rather ridiculous, but that's just the way it happened.
​
https://preview.redd.it/rtwrkdj1k8pa1.png?width=250&format=png&auto=webp&s=155c9d12603e5fa8c53bb2b7347169b409966e5a

It's not that she's vanished from the public eye per ce, but not even the fringe parts of social media give a shit about her any longer. No one talks about her, no one cares about her. I've never felt like a VP has been this invisible before in my entire life, and I'm not young. Is she a failed experiment? Is there any particular reason the elite have decided she doesn't deserve even a little relevance?

That is my word for you. There is no better way to describe it.
Tonight was the happiest I have felt in years. I felt wanted and loved and listened to.
Two kinds of need were satisfied within me. The connection of a true friend I have come to realize, is rare and intoxicating. The connection of two pure hearts is even more so obscure.
I meant what I said. I truly believe you deserve the best. I really hope I get to witness the greatness you will embody one day. No one notices me like you do. You don't even have to, it's not like that for you, but you do anyway. Thank you. Thank you for seeing me.
My romantic heart wishes I could've been ready and healthy for you. I promise I tried my whole life to get to you and be put together once I got here. I'm so sorry I let us down but I'm so happy I get to be your friend anyway.
I have missed you for so long. I have looked my whole life for you. Well, I suppose actually I've been trying to train others to be you. Now that I know who you are, who you should've been in my life, I realize how utterly stupid that training idea was. You could have only been molded by the life you were given. Nothing I could have done would have made you, you. You are badass all by yourself. I guess my biggest mistake is impatience. If I would have just been patient and had faith that I would meet you someday, my body wouldn't be fucked up, my mind wouldn't be lost, and my heart unbroken.
But I didn't think I was worth anything to anyone and i never agreed that would change one day. I didn't think you actually existed so I kept trying to settle for people I thought were in my dating range. Man, I totally fucked up my whole life and it was just a child's bad decisions that ruined me. I could've been so great for you.
But you deserve the hottest girl in the world, if you wanted her. The whole package. I know I am not the whole package. Maybe 75%. I'm OK with that because I got to meet you in this life anyway, even if I have to love you differently this time around.
But I know it's you. I'm pretty sure I've known for a while. I'm so happy you're here. I'm just so happy I finally found you. I wonder if you'll ever realize who we are?
I will do anything in my power to help you find the perfect girl. Thank you for coming back for me. Now I can live happily knowing you're here, youre ok, and youre finding happiness every day. I'm so fucking happy I get to experience you, no matter the circumstances. Please pick a girl who likes me too so I don't lose you. I hope she is funny and happy and kind, just like you.
I was going to resign. I needed to see you tonight to figure out if my resignation was actually what I wanted. While we were sitting together there was a moment where I felt you actually watching me laugh. It was not the usual observation. I saw a shift of the light in your eyes. I felt you.
That's the moment I realized for sure who we are.
And that I have to stay.
And I'm not sad about having to stay anymore.
I know that one day I won't get to be close to you. That's all my fault and I'm sorry. I really tried. It was hard growing up and I really really tried to be good. Well, 75% isn't failing I guess. But you deserve 110% so, I would never feel right keeping you away from what you deserve. You're so beautiful. I always knew you would be but, getting to see you now...it's like seeing fireworks for the first time. Or seeing a purple and orange sunset over a green hilltop.
It's incredible how you come back to me every time and save me every time; i must be your damsel in distress. This time you didn't even know you were pulling me from drowning. I think I'll keep it that way. I hope you don't mind if you are my life jacket? Just help me float whenever i get tired from swimming.
Thank you. I can finally let the air from my choked chest. I can finally breathe, my anxiety over looking for you is gone. You're everything I knew you'd be. We have loved each other for lifetimes and I will keep loving you during and beyond this one.
💗

Hello folks, A few days ago I turned 20, and I've been reminiscing on the music I found when I was 19, not sure why.
For some reason 19 was an age of musical discovery for me, I found 2 new bands (to me, anyways), discovered a love for one I'd heard previously, and rediscovered a fourth. May not be a lot for some but this is more than I had found in the previous 5 years combined, I'm sure.
The new to me bands are Soul Coughing and Galactic.
Soul Coughing is strange, if you were a fan of Cartoon network in the late 90's and early 2000's you may have heard 2 of their songs on a segment called CN Groovies. The songs are "Circles" and "Rolling." Both are off their El Oso album.
I found them after my mother told me about them on a road trip, after their song "Super Bon Bon" came on the Spotify playlist we were listening to. She told me how apparently they were devicive, you either loved or hated them. From then on I was hooked, and all 3 of their albums would have a place in my personal top 10 albums of all time.
Galactic is a band that's funky as hell based out of New Orleans. I found them by random chance. I just happened upon an "artists from New Orleans" section on Spotify and there they were. I didn't even mean to listen to them, I accidentally tapped on their album "Ruckus" and thought I'd give it a listen. That set off a chain of events that would place Galactic at number 5 on my Spotify wrapped.
Number 2 on my Spotify Wrapped was Red Vox, who I'd known about for a while, but only really delved into them this past year. The vocalist for this band happens to be a YouTubetwitch streamer I have followed for close to a decade at this point. I'd heard of his side project and heard that it was good, but never really listened to them until recently. They released an album this month, probably my favorite from them so far.
The fourth band I'd been meaning to talk about is a band called Umphrey's McGee. I'd actually seen them live some years ago, I was probably around 15 or 16, but I hated it. I'd only ever heard one of their albums, Zonkey, and they didn't play a single song I recognized. Oh well, I wasn't at the concert for me so who cares. Problem is, it got worse, I was sleep deprived, and to top it all off, a light from the stage would just constantly be in my eye, no matter if I stood or sat, it would be shining directly in my eyes, and it was too crowded to move out of the way. I was miserable.
Flash forward to 2022. I'm playing some VR game, and it has a music player, I put on some Primus, as I normally do, and let it play. After the song I was listening to ends, "In the Kitchen" comes on. Uh oh, here we go again, another album takes over my life, the second one this year since Ruckus by Galactic.
Anchor Drops is my favorite album ever. There is only one song I don't like on it, that being "Bullhead City." every other song is a complete bop. Their other stuff is great too. So I guess I'll be seeing them live again, this time I'll like it, hopefully. Won't let those damn lights get me again, and I'll get adequate sleep ahead of time.
Wow.. this was a bit long winded, but I guess you get that when you're passionate about something. Oh well, hope this wasn't too sucky to read.