I am 31 years old and a single mother and recovering drug addict.
After my kid was born in 2017 I moved in with my family to get away, get clean and start trying to get my shit together. Things started to drastically improve in my life. I got a great job with great pay and benefits, my family and I all moved into a bigger house where I paid my share of bills/rent, I made a good friend that wasn't a addict that I enjoyed doing things with etc
Then I started drinking, a lot. Wasn't a drinker while in active addiction but after getting clean I started drinking and I liked the way it made me feel. At first it was a normal socially acceptable amount but then I was taking shots as soon as I woke up, during the day, and before I went to bed. I drank before work and after. It was a daily habit and I could function without people noticing.
While that was going on my family came into some money and decided they wanted to move to another state eight hours from the one we currently lived in and at the time I had a serious bf that I invisioned getting a place with and staying since I had a good job. At this point I had developed a serious alcohol problem and it was no secret to my family. They were actually fed up with my habit and were kind of relieved to move on without me. After all I was almost 30 and they did their part. They picked out a house packed their stuff and moved and I stayed at the house because the rent was paid and there was a whole month before i had to be out. I spiraled after they left and lost my job because I had too much to drink before my shift but went anyways and the alcohol hit me all at once there and my friend could tell I was drunk so I knew the others could to so I panicked and walked out called a ride and never went back. I didn't have a car at the time but taxes came and I bought one and two teenagers crashed into me while I was at a stop sign and totaled my car.
I got a little insurance money but the month was almost up and I had no car, no job and my bf wasnt making any moves to get us a place he drank as often as I did so I really started to panic. My bf could go back to his mom's but if I didn't find a place I was going to be homeless and i freaked out and begged my mom to let me come live with them at the new place. My mom was hesitant but worried that I would be homeless so against her better judgement she let me move in but she told me I can't drink there or shed kick me out.
Since I have moved here I have done nothing but fuck up. I kept drinking by mostly sneaking it and getting caught. Begging to not be kicked out and promises this and that. I got a good job and was fired because I got drunk and started fighting with my mom and went to jail for assault and battery. The charges were dropped but my job found out and fired me. So I'm unemployed for 6 months and I use my three credit cards to fund mine and my kids needs/wants, still no car, while I bounce back n forth between sobriety and I max them out. The payments are 3 months overdue and getting higher.
Taxes come back around and I buy a car. I started working at this terrible fast food place making 11$hr getting paid every other week because it is so hard to find a decent job in this county. I did start drinking less but I fucked up and just got arrested for a DUI and they took my license. It is likely to be suspended for a year but luckily my job is less than half a mile from my house. My car was impounded and my mom got it out for me.
I cannot describe the shame and guilt I feel. I feel like such a fucking loser and a piece of shit mom. I am so scared because I don't know what I'm going to do. With credit card bills piling, court costs and not making enough to get caught up. And I may end up doing time for the DUI and that'll drive my debt up more.
All this and my kids birthday is in less than a week and he keeps asking about it and I don't want to tell him I don't have the money to get him a toy and cake. Because whatever money I get I have to try and pull myself out of this hole I put us in.
All because I couldn't stop drinking. I haven't drank since my DUI arrest but it's only been a week. I got myself into a hole and I don't know if I can get myself out. I'm 31 years old this is my life and it's my fault. I'm so lost.

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[REQ] ($25 repay $35) - (#Las Vegas, NV, USA) (March. 1st ,2019), (Venmo/Zelle - Prearranged )

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prearranged with u/therussianguy19

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[REQ] ($40 repay $50) - (#Las Vegas, NV, USA) (March. 1st ,2019), (Venmo/Zelle )

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I need $40 on Venmo or Zelle. Please let me know if you're able to help out with this thanks!

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[REQ] - ($75) (#Las Vegas, NV, USA) ($90 on 4/1) (Venmo/PayPal/Zelle)

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[REQ] - ($100) (#Las Vegas, NV, USA) ($125 on 4/1) (Venmo/PayPal/Zelle Prearranged)

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Prearranged with u/OrlandoGallagher

Throwaway in case they use Reddit. Long post too, but messier the more you read.
I (26 f) been trying to move forward now that my year in a nightmare living situation has come to an end but I'm still so resentful, so maybe this will help. After living with my parents during the pandemic, in 2022 I reached out to an old college roommate and we decided me, her, and her boyfriend would find a place. They didn't seem to care where, and I love the city. I warned them it was more expensive but they didn't protest.
Firstly, I did EVERYTHING to secure us the place. The boyfriend, let's call him Chris (M 27) was in the GM and never even answered once. While skimming listings I once asked my old roommate, let's call her Maggie (F 26), to send me 3 listings, and I'd have 3, for a total of 6 places to set up tours for. They were on the opposite coast so it was agreed I'd do the tours. Two of the three listings she sent were ones I'd already sent her. She clearly just looked up the first results and didn't even bother to look at what I'd found.
So after touring, emailing, giving my future roomies step-by-step instructions how to apply, getting my dad to co-sign, and reviewing/revising the lease a couple times (they tried to tack on extra fees as most building management companies do) I started setting up job interviews in the area for move-in the following month. I never once got a thank you, only ever "update?" texts from Maggie, or the occasional complaint when I wasn't working fast enough for them. It's not like I wanted validation or to even make all the decisions, I literally had to because they contributed nothing. I would have much rather taken some help over gratitude, but got neither. When I expressed stress that I was doing a lot, she told me she promised she and her man were 5x more stressed because they didn't have jobs lined up like me. As if job websites don't have location searches and Zoom interviews don't exist.
So we moved in. My parents fronted their portions of rent and the deposit for three weeks, and I was upset when I pushed Maggie about it and she told me her dad had her money but she had just been "too depressed" to call and ask him to wire it. Her words. They seemed to assume that my parents had money to spare, which they didn't, even for their own kid.
I started my job, and I was really struggling with alcohol. The city didn't help because there were quite literally over 100 liquor stores and bars less than half a mile from our building. They drank a lot too, but that's not my business. We kind of drowned in our misery together for about 6 weeks, during which time I lost my job for drinking and got another, but then started experiencing sleep-deprivation psychosis where I just completely broke down, so I decided to check myself into rehab for 30 days.
Two weeks prior that, Maggie came home with a puppy in her purse. A guy sold it to her for $50 at her job and she kept it in the break room till she was off. She'd told me several times before that she liked to go to work buzzed, so I assume that played a part.
I already had a cat who wasn't dog-friendly that I paid an extra deposit to be in the apartment, and they both agreed to have him there (they knew him from the college house). So even wasted, I told her absolutely not about this dog. She didn't ask me or Chris before bringing it home, and the two of them were constantly complaining to me about money and how we split the place evenly even though they shared a much larger room, and rent was still really reasonable for the area we were in ($900 each). Not to mention they didn't even read the lease, so they really had no grounds to complain they'd signed documents agreeing to pay an amount they claimed not to be able to afford. A dog on top of that, I pointed out, made no sense. The city is dirty, it would need shots to stay alive and we lived on a high floor with no balcony or patio for it to relieve itself. Pets also cost money.
Maggie agreed the dog was a bad idea and swore up and down she'd return it because she had the owner's number. A few days before I decided to go to rehab they went out all day and left the puppy locked in their tiny bathroom where it howled the entire time on my only day off, and I freaked out on them but they just gaslit me because I was drunk. I felt terrible leaving it in there, but I didn't ask to take on another animal. Ultimately, they were supportive of my choice to get help and even asked me to please come back instead of subletting and told me how much they'd miss me.
Well, while I was gone, things changed. A week before I came back, I texted Chris and Maggie to let them know the date of my return, and that I'd be bringing a sober companion because the first 72 hours out of rehab are notoriously difficult. Maggie texted back (never Chris, like I said) that they needed me to stay with my parents a few cities over for a while instead, because they weren't comfortable with me or a sober friend coming back so soon. Mind you, I paid rent the month I was gone. So I informed her that wasn't going to happen, and I'd be home the date I said above. She replied "sorry, that's just how we feel." As if they got the final say.
I came back when I said I would, brought my sober companion like I said I would, and Maggie lost her mind. My sober buddy and I watched a movie in my room, minding our business, but she heard a second voice and started texting me about how uncool it was to bring a stranger back. I told her she was welcome to meet them, but she refused.
I did't see either of their faces for two weeks after getting home. Chris was still unemployed and stayed home all day, but locked himself in their room 24/7. The first time I saw him, he'd thought I was Maggie locked out (they lost one of their key sets upon move-in and didn't want to purchase a second set, so this happened a lot) and once he realized it was me he practically ran back to their room. I said "hi" and he just said "I though you were Maggie" and slammed the door.
I don't know if they were resentful toward me for getting sober - maybe it was making them face their own problems - but one reason they hid from me was without question the dog. They avoided discussing it at all while I was in rehab, but I could hear it barking the moment I came home. The house reeked of dog urine. They'd taken my pee pads I sometimes put on the furniture when I think my cat might act up, and just pretended it wasn't there. Never paid me back for those either.
It was pretty soon after this Maggie came home with two men. She'd met them at her job, they told her she'd be good for their company, so she quit on the spot and invited them over to drink to celebrate. She actually opened my bedroom door without realizing I was home to "show them my movie poster" on my wall and explained the situation to me. So much for feeling unsafe having strangers in the house. I cringe to think about how it would've went if I wasn't home. It's worth noting that when she sent in her app to those guys' company, their boss didn't like her resume, so she was unemployed for the next 8 months.
Not long after rehab I began dating my current partner, let's call him Stan (M 28). He was great company because we met in recovery, and it can be lonely to be sober when all your friends partake.
Stan was over a lot, and pretty soon into the relationship we got eager to move in together. I asked Maggie about it (asking Maggie was like asking both of them, Chris never wanted to interact with me after I got sober) and she had nothing but good things to say, because that meant rent would be split four ways now. Stan and I didn't protest an even split, even though my room was barely enough space for one person and we learned pretty quickly how to climb around each other to function day-to-day.
I didn't have a sense of boundaries or standards before sobriety, but Stan encouraged me to strengthen that sense of self I'd previously forfeited to be drunk 24/7 and it made me start to realize some things about the household dynamic. Stan cooked for us a lot, and even before he moved in he was always cleaning Maggie and Chris's dishes along with his. He pointed out that they'd leave things, sloshy with sink water and food bits, for weeks in the sink. He also bought some nice things to cook with like expensive olive oil, and soda water for himself, which Maggie would either take and not say anything, or text me after already taking it promising to pay us back. Never once saw a penny. It upset me even moreso that she was so sneaky about taking it first, so we couldn't say no.
There was even a time when Stan and I went out of town for a wedding, and when we came back Maggie handed us a clean towel of ours. She explained they were out of towels while we were gone, so they went into our bathroom and took one of ours off the rack....I didn't say so until I blew up months later, but that was actually a towel used for clean up....that kind of clean up. Karma worked quick on that one, who goes into someone's private bathroom and takes their towel off the rack to use on themselves?!
I mentioned the common area was hardly used, but the exception was when Maggie and Chris's friends or family visited. It happened probably four or five times in the year we were there. Each time Maggie would give me about a day's warning before the guests would show up. Once, when her dad flew in, she informed me about his week-long stay as he was in his Uber headed to our place from the airport. Even worse, he was meant to take their bed, and they were going to sleep on an air mattress in the living room with the dog that barked at anything that moved. Stan gets up super early for work, and Chris got all grumpy that it woke him up as Stan left because the dog flipped out. Like sorry, should he have used our 15 story window to leave?
Funny enough, after the first night in their room Maggie's dad insisted he take the living room. It was pretty obvious to me he couldn't stand the smell in their room. They continued to use pee pads instead of taking the dog to the street to "go," and it often missed onto the carpet of their room. The smell wafted into the kitchen every time they opened their door, I can't imagine what being in there with the door shut all night would do to a person's nostrils.
It all came to a boiling point about 6 months in. Stan wasn't doing well with the constant stress of cleaning up after others and resentment that came with it. We decided the best course of action was for him to move out, which was confirmed by Maggie confronting us on a Tuesday afternoon, drunk as a skunk, about how the fridge smelled because our leftovers went bad. We went through the entire fridge, and threw out over half of their items that were months expired. They complained about money nonstop but wouldn't get jobs and switched to Doordashing every single day. There was molding cheese, and the kicker: deli meat 2 months past its expiration date, not only with several colors of mold but MAGGOTS. Now we understood why there were dead gnats in the fridge. They were born in there.
When we informed them of Stan's move-out, Maggie said that was fine with her as long as her and Chris's rent remained $650. They actually expected me to pay half the rent for a smaller room, where the kitchen was festering from their mess and the stuff I bought was taken by them with no reimbursement. That, or get a fourth stranger to share my room with me, which barely fit my full-size bed. Furious, I told them I'd be moving out as well, and subletting. They told me I needed to find two people, so I pulled *that* move and said since my dad was the co-signer and unwilling to vouch his credit for a lease his daughter wasn't a part of, we'd dissolve the lease entirely.
This somewhat scared them into moving, and they alleged a move-out date that came and went. Stan and I crossed our fingers they'd leave, we could take the bigger room, and sublet out our old one. We had no problem with rent split three ways, as that was the lease agreement anyway.
In the meantime, the one request I had out of rehab they'd agreed to went out the window. I was never going to ask them not to drink in their own place, but I simply asked that they keep it to their room and out of sight from Stan and me. They stayed in there most of the time anyway, and had a mini fridge. I'm pretty sure she drank every day in there, which again wasn't my business but it became obvious when she did stuff like leave the electric stovetop on for hours.
She had friends over again, and they not only filled up the living room with luggage and mattresses with just a few hours heads up to me, but drank out there while I was in my room. The house smelled like booze (and dog urine, always dog urine...) and they even had some full cans in the fridge when they went out. I texted her angrily, because the box of White Claws was shoved in so that my own food was squashed in the back of the fridge, and she blew me off like I had no right to ruin her night. I spent till sunrise on AA zoom meetings, shaking with anger. The texts must have made her angry too, because she brought back additional strangers to drink some more in the living room till dawn.
There were tons of incidents like this throughout the year, and even worse Maggie took it upon herself to try to mediate arguments in my relationship. She'd overhear and come out drunk to try to step in. She once confronted me about "not seeming sober" when I had over 4 months. I told her she had no place to comment even if I had relapsed, and she told me to "make sure I'm going to meetings." I so very much wanted to snap back that she should find some of her own.
This went on a whole year. Stan left, but when he did so and came back to visit the first time, Maggie cornered him and demanded he pay rent for that month. He was already moved into another place, and paying rent there. She yelled at him that she and Chris don't have money, Stan just told her that's not his responsibility to foot the bill for their laziness. Even so, he compromised and still paid utilities till our lease ended.
Up till the last couple days, they still disrespected me and my space. They'd let their dog eat my cat's food almost daily, sometimes more. They'd watch it urinate on the floor, and maybe if I was standing right there to see it, they'd wipe it down with a pee pad, no disinfectant. Once I did it myself and left the rag and cleaner on the floor by the puddle to make a point. The next day I found the rag on the sink; she confirmed she took it off the floor to wipe down our kitchen counters. Even if she didn't know what it was used for, who uses a dirty rag on the floor to wipe where they put food?
I let them know a few days before move-out that I would be cleaning certain common areas -- half, when it realistically should have been a third -- and that the rest was their responsibility. I also told them the couch was theirs to take down. We didn't have one for a long time, but when Stan was living with us Maggie found one freshly put on the street and texted us. Stan and I met her down there to carry it up, and she just watched us do it and made comments about "getting in our workout for the day." She didn't even help propping open doors.
On move-out, I had work in the afternoon in the next city over. I'd already packed all my stuff into boxes, they had one sitting in the living room. Not my business as long as they were out on time. They were up and moving on the last day, scrambling to pack, when I informed them my parents were coming to transport my stuff and help with my part of the cleaning since I had to be at my new job on time. They immediately holed up in their room, and stayed there for FIVE HOURS, not wanting to interact with my parents. They were the ones we paid rent to, and of course they'd heard my grievances, but they were always friendly and reasonable to Maggie and Chris as long as they sent rent on time. I have no idea what time they ended up leaving, since they stayed deadly silent too, according to my mom who stayed to clean after I went to work.
A week later, we got our bill from the building. Our whole deposit was eaten up, and an additional $460 was owed for the building to hire cleaners. My mom helped me, and we did more than our share, but clearly my roommates still didn't pull their weight.
I think they moved back with Chris's parents, I don't really care. If they did, I feel sorry for everyone involved in that situation. They have no decency or consideration, and mooch as much as they can for as little effort as possible. And on top of all that, still complain. As for me, I miraculously stayed sober, and Stan and I live together in the city where we both work.
I guess I can count on time to show them how awful they were, because we're getting older and not many people will put up with that moving forward. I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone, and don't intend to ever live with roommates ever again because of what they put me through. Stan, my cat, maybe a dog we acquire responsibly in the future, and some kids someday. That'll be acceptable.

I (19f) am considering abandoning my soon-to-be roommates in order to get my own apartment. A couple months ago my friend (19f) and her boyfriend (20m) and I made plans to move in together.
However, my friend insisted we get a 3 bedroom house or townhouse and have an extra room for friends or family to stay over (she and her bf want to share a room). Her bf and I tried showing her nice affordable 2 bed Places but she would turn all of them down. After about a month of this I confronted her about it and told her if there wasn't going to be a 4th person living with us there was no need to spend the extra money for a quest room when we could just get a pull out couch or air mattress. In the 3 months we have been looking for places they have called and/or toured exactly Zero places while I have been to several despite working 2 jobs, one of Witch is a full time overnight position.
After expressing my frustration to another good friend of mine, he talked to his parents and they agreed to offer me a room to at their 2 bed 2 bath rental house that my friend and his boyfriend are moving into when it becomes free in 6 months. My friend said he and his boyfriend would be more than happy to be roommates with me, his parents are very sweet and understanding of my situation and are only charging $600 a month for rent and utilities.
Eventually I found a very nice and more than affordable apartment complex. They confirmed that they had submitted their applications and paid the nessecery fees. I checked a few days later to make sure we had gotten each other's information correct only for them to tell me that they hadn't actually submitted their applications. After I told my current roommates that I was only comfortable signing a 6 month lease with them because my other friend offered me a room, they got angry and said they wouldn't be able to afford to live on their own without me and they would have to move back in with their parents once the lease is up.
This was extremely frustrating for me as I offered to speak to a friend of mine who is a manager at a retail store to see if they could help my friend get a job at their work as It pays a couple dollars more than what my friend makes now, but she turned me down saying she would only want to work there as a last resort dispite her not being able to find a new job after a year of searching.
I recently found a very nice 1 bedroom apartment that I would more than be able to afford and I am seriously considering renting there rather than with them. I dont want to abandon my friend, and I don't mean to sound rude or cold, but with my family situation I can't afford to keep waiting for them to get their act together.
WIBTA for renting this apartment and leaving them to find their own place even though they cant afford too?

This is a follow up to my previous post about 21 witnesses that most likely saw the same event the Las Vegas 911 caller and police officer with the bodycam footage did.
Some of the 21 witnesses also left a description of the event on the fireball event page of May 1. The event happened at around 06:48 UT or 23:48 PT and in Las Vegas it could be seen in the north. It's the exact time the police officer's bodycam recorded the object. The 911 caller also described seeing "a big light falling from the sky" at around midnight.
One witness report from Arizona was very interesting as pointed out by one redditor in the previous post:
Immediately after observing this fireball, two lights appeared in the sky above where the fireballs path had been. They resembled stars, but we’re moving quickly and disappearing then reappearing constantly over the next hour. Seemed as though they were multiple aircraft of some type circling around the sky over and over again. Sometimes they were bright and lasting up to 10 seconds before disappearing. They have been constantly circling and moving north on the horizon for at least an hour. Very strange phenomenon.
Fireball event with 21 witnesses: http://fireballs.imo.net/members/imo_view/event/2023/2408
Mentioned fireball witness report: http://fireballs.imo.net/members/imo_view/report/309746
911 caller YouTube video with ring camera and police officer bodycam footage: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdsYfGvIznM&t=119s
Doorbell camera footage from Sparks, NV of the flash: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v55cmvZNrEs
What the witness describes is very unusual for this type of event so that's why I decided to create this post. It would be great to gather even more witness reports if possible. I have only been able to find these 21 on imo.net and amsmeteors.org. Also some 10-15 people from Las Vegas reported they saw it as well in a Facebook group according to this report.

My fiancé and I plan to get married. We currently live together in a house we’re renting in Alajuela. My parents are unable/unwilling to travel and older. I want her to meet them and my other family, around Christmas time. I just don’t see her being able to get a tourist visa as there’s not much tying her here other than her family and a love for her country we both share.
In the long run I’d like to be able to travel with her to the US once or twice a year but since neither of us want to ever live in the US a green card or immigration visa isn’t possible (I don’t think).
Any thoughts?

This is probably just a very stupid question, but I'm just so frustrated already :(
Summer hasn't even started and my apartment is already so hot. I don't wear almost any clothes, only a t-shirt to have meetings (remote work), and without being in front of a fan it's so uncomfortable already (the whole past week). During the day I guess it's not that bad, but at night... I just can't sleep.
I'm from a much warmer country, in summer it gets easily over 30 degrees, and in hot waves can get over 40, even 45. Which is horrible, but you don't suffer the hot at home. I've been here in Berlin last summer too, and it was awful. This year I was trying to have a better mindset, reminding winter is so much worse and summer has so many things to enjoy. But is not even summer and I have already slept so badly due to the temperature that I think it's just going to be the same as last year. And also since I work remotely I spend most of my time at home, sadly.
So I'm just wondering how everyone else does it, I don't see that much people complaining really. Maybe my apartment just sucks and gets hotter than most?
What bothers me the most is not being able to sleep, bc of course it really affects my mood and my job. I don't see shops selling AC's for homes, and I've never seen one in an apartment or a house. Also of course I'm renting, so I don't think that'd be a possibility.
Is there something I could do about it?? Or my only options is just holding on with just a fan? Also my apartment ceiling is so low I can't even install a ceiling fan :'(

today the las Vegas metropolitan police released body camera footage of officers responding to a "ufo crash". when the officers go into the callers back garden where he claims the ufo is the footage and sound are cut and when it comes back on they are back at the front of the house. is it normal for the footage to be cut like this?
original post on UFOs: https://www.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/144qbpd/lvmpd_release_full_body_cam_footage_of_las_vegas/
video 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWGOkut_-Xw
video 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0Yrjz7Vt0U
video 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anW4N1Vl_ko

Hi, Using a throwaway account. Also, I understand I need to speak with a solicitor however can't until the week after next for various reasons, hence just wanting a bit of information if possible.
My wife has out of the blue announced she wants to split. We have no children but have a house which is nearly paid off. We both earn broadly similar salaries and have broadly similar individual savings. We've not started the divorce procedure yet but are effectively "separated" but living under the same roof. We're in England.
Her plan is to move into a rented property in the near future whilst we go through proceedings. However as we're both named on the current mortgage she will obviously need to continue her contribution to that (I'll be living in the house).
The thing I'm concerned about is that she's looking at rental in a reasonably expensive area, and there's no way she can afford it whilst paying her share of the mortgage here. Which means until we're settled, she'll be paying it out of her savings. Let's say that is costing her £1000 a month, if the divorce takes say 6-8 months to go through, she's going to have effectively been spending 6-8k of her savings on that - and as we have similar levels of savings now, she'd potentially be entitled to half the difference of mine, i.e. 3-4k? She's also talking about going on holiday too with friends, which again will be from savings.
I know there are rules about trying to "hide" money in these situations to avoid a fair split, but are there any rules about just spending the money on non-tangible stuff like this? I am not looking to screw her over but similarly don't want that to be done to me.

thefaith1029 deleted from /borrow

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[REQ] - ($75) (#Las Vegas, NV, USA) ($85 on 3/1) (Venmo/PayPal/Zelle)

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Just need a quick/small loan. Thanks!

Hi all.
I plan on coming to Shanghai on June 23 and will stay for a little over a month. Based on previous posts here, I found that Smart Shanghai and trip.com and similar sites are what people use to find housing these days for short term stays. I wonder if this is still true or if there are some other sites that people use.
I'm basically looking for a place that has good stable wifi, a desk and chair, good location (close to restaurants and public transportation, and under 6000 RMB per month if possible (~200 rmb per day). Does anyone have any leads for me?
Additionally, is there anything I should look out for in order to not get scammed? I assume trip.com and similar are pretty safe and reliable, but I don't know anything about Smart Shanghai. Is it similar to Craigslist? Or is more like Airbnb?
Thanks.

I don't want this to be too identifying so I'll keep the description of events vague.
Several years ago my partner's family 'helped us' buy a home. The scenario is a little weird, but we were moving internationally for my partner's career, and without consulting (or even pre-warning) me my partner's family announced that they'd put a down payment on a house for us to live in, in the new country.
I was uncomfortable with the situation as we'd not discussed the issue at all and I wasn't sure if we could even afford the mortgage, but it was awkward because the house was framed like a gift to us, and my partner was relieved to have a home sorted in our new country. The house was directly represented to us as 'our' house, and so I also understood what a privilege it was to be able to contribute to our own mortgage rather than pay rent.
But problems began almost right away. It took me a few months to find a job in the new country and my partner was very stressed paying the bills. When I found a job, he asked that I provide him with my full income each fortnight to cover my contributions to the mortgage and bills. As my pay rose amidst promotions over the years, so did the sum he asked for. Eventually when my salary rose to be equal to his, I persuaded him to 'let' me keep a portion of my income in a separate savings account. Otherwise, he has insisted that he be responsible for paying the bills, which he does out of his personal account that I transfer money to.
Recently my partner is looking to move again for his career, and we are weighing the options of what to do with our home. Amidst this, it has come out that 'our' house is actually purchased and owned by my partner's family trust. I'm honestly flabbergasted. Over the past several years I've contributed over $300,000 to what I believed were mortgage payments and home renovations. My partner has now revealed they view that money as rent.
This has obviously caused a huge problem in the relationship. I'm not happy about being in my 30s and having no assets to my name, and I also feel like I've been douped into a rental situation which has significantly limited my prospects to build up any assets of my own. I've naturally relayed these concerns to my partner, but he refuses to engage with me on this and is really just feeding me non committal answers until I drop it. I just want to know what the legality of all of this is?
I've never signed a rental agreement, so I'm not sure if I can just be declared a renter? I don't even know how I want to proceed, but my biggest worry is that if either one of us decided to bail on the relationship I'll be completely fked over financially.

Hello!
My boyfriend has a narcissistic and bipolar mother. We have been dating for almost 3 years and when I lived with them, it was a nightmare. After living with his family for only a couple of months, it was clear that she played favourites and manipulated everybody to get her way through guilt and shame.
For context, she is divorced, and her daughter and her son (my boyfriend) live with her. She kindly opened her home to me when I was having family issues, however, that turned into a quick transaction for her. I paid rent, but there was an emotional transaction. Near the end of my stay at their house, she started to blame me for all of their family issues. She blamed me for my boyfriend and his sister not being able to get along, even though they never had a good relationship to begin with. She continues to shame, guilt and her victim complex to abuse my boyfriend.
My boyfriend is currently still living with her due to his financial situation, but he has come to terms that his mother is a narcissist, and will never have the same empathy as a normal person. He continues to defend me and respect my wishes to not have a relationship with her.
I no longer felt welcomed and returned to my home where I was able to rebuild my relationship with my family. Fast forward a lot of traumatic events, I have blocked her on all social media, and I do not want a relationship with her.
Recently, my boyfriend had heat exhaustion and drove to my house because it was the closer option. He left his car at my house under the impression that he would grab it the next day. Unknowingly, his mother took it upon herself to pick up the car at my house. My boyfriend pays for the insurance, gas and the car itself. He got this car when he was 17 years old and I don’t think he’s a principal driver on it but he is the primary driver.
She rang the doorbell four times even though she knew I wasn’t at home. It was all caught on video and it was creepy since my boyfriend said he would pick it up tomorrow but she still came anyways and took it upon herself to pick up the car.
I don’t want my boyfriend’s mother to go to these lengths to keep controlling him. It’s difficult due to his financial situation and inflation but what do you think should be the best course of action? For the most part, as long as my boyfriend is working and making money, she stays off his back. But from time to time she goes crazy and becomes unhinged. She also hates the fact that I’ve set a boundary with her and will do anything to keep a relationship with me, despite how much she shit talks me and calls me derogatory names to her friends.
His mother is 64 years old. I have tried to repair the relationship multiple times but everything that comes out of her mouth is different than her actions.
Should my boyfriend just get a new car under his name?

Hello!
My boyfriend has a narcissistic and bipolar mother. We have been dating for almost 3 years and when I lived with them, it was a nightmare. After living with his family for only a couple of months, it was clear that she played favourites and manipulated everybody to get her way through guilt and shame.
For context, she is divorced, and her daughter and her son (my boyfriend) live with her. She kindly opened her home to me when I was having family issues, however, that turned into a quick transaction for her. I paid rent, but there was an emotional transaction. Near the end of my stay at their house, she started to blame me for all of their family issues. She blamed me for my boyfriend and his sister not being able to get along, even though they never had a good relationship to begin with. She continues to shame, guilt and her victim complex to abuse my boyfriend.
My boyfriend is currently still living with her due to his financial situation, but he has come to terms that his mother is a narcissist, and will never have the same empathy as a normal person. He continues to defend me and respect my wishes to not have a relationship with her.
I no longer felt welcomed and returned to my home where I was able to rebuild my relationship with my family. Fast forward a lot of traumatic events, I have blocked her on all social media, and I do not want a relationship with her.
Recently, my boyfriend had heat exhaustion and drove to my house because it was the closer option. He left his car at my house under the impression that he would grab it the next day. Unknowingly, his mother took it upon herself to pick up the car at my house. My boyfriend pays for the insurance, gas and the car itself. He got this car when he was 17 years old and I don’t think he’s a principal driver on it but he is the primary driver.
She rang the doorbell four times even though she knew I wasn’t at home. It was all caught on video and it was creepy since my boyfriend said he would pick it up tomorrow but she still came anyways and took it upon herself to pick up the car.
I don’t want my boyfriend’s mother to go to these lengths to keep controlling him. It’s difficult due to his financial situation and inflation but what do you think should be the best course of action? For the most part, as long as my boyfriend is working and making money, she stays off his back. But from time to time she goes crazy and becomes unhinged. She also hates the fact that I’ve set a boundary with her and will do anything to keep a relationship with me, despite how much she shit talks me and calls me derogatory names to her friends.
His mother is 64 years old. I have tried to repair the relationship multiple times but everything that comes out of her mouth is different than her actions.
Should my boyfriend just get a new car under his name?

Long story short, I brought my gf, her kid and her mom to live to my house, I brought all of them from Russia, I paid everything this whole 2022 (ticket planes, airbnb, food...), rent a new apt, buy all furniture she wants, utilities, literally everything she want kinda to make her happy and don't miss her apt in Russia.
5 months ago we broke up, we were fighting a lot for small things, we were not even sleeping in the same bed, so after all I did, I feel just as a partner, a father for her kid, and a partneATM for her.
Also she was demanding a ring to even kiss me or sleep together and ofc have sex...but hey, she is a single mom and ofc she didn't ask for a ring to her ex.
All of that leads to a deadbedroom, not even a common bedroom, not even kisses, no hugs, touching, just partners in the same apt
With all the pain in my heart I left the apt, so I left her decide what she can do, stay here in this country, back to Russia, move to another country, it took 5 months to her to get Visa for NA, while that happen I keep paying everything, amazon, food, apt, clothes, bills, everything, making gifts for her kid.
Every single day I was thinking on her and her kid which I feel as mine, I was crying and I was devastated because I really love that kid and I felt so bad because that kid loves me too.
We talk sometimes, I said Im sorry, I want to fix it...but she continue with the idea of NA.
She just talk me to buy the tickets, help her with some stuffs and so on, because I deeply love her and her kid and I feel responsible for her here, I pay the tickets, for her.
Today when I back to my apt after I left her in the airport, I found like the apt is a complete mess, is dirty, looks like she didn't clean since I left, not even for her kid, it was rotten milk in the fridge, she left me all her meds, old clothes and even clothes which I gift to her, literally I just have receives and small boxes of meds, she even took electronic toothbrush hahaha.
The worst part which brokes my heart and makes me no feel sorry for her is SHE LEFT AN SPECIAL ALBUM I MADE FOR HER AND HER KID, it was an album with all the photos she send me during this years, every photo had an story which I could tell, I gift this to her on Christmas, when she open, she said thank and she even didn't check, back then it hurts also, but I said, well, later we will see together.
But look this album under all garbage she left, It made me realise I was nothing for her, I don't know what was her plan, if she loves me in some point at all, I don't if should I ask why she left this album, maybe she will say it was for me, or she didn't notice or she didn't like it, but she made sure to take pencils and color pencils, draw book I bought for her, what you would do?
I will cry when I will remember the kid and I will see that kid alone, but well, i cannot keep being the stupid man who defends her and protect her, making her excuses for everything she does.
Jeeesus I was so blind, so stupid, I was so in love like I prefer to ignore that behavior and blame myself all the time because I left her in another country.
If you want, share when did you noticed and decide you was right for what you did, what was the trigger.

thefaith1029 deleted from /borrow

• Link to the deleted post
• Was a selfpost with score: 0
• Submitted 2019-02-04 21:53 (UTC)
• Was up for for approx 1585.40 days
• Probably deleted within the past 19.01 days
  • Was last seen up around 2023-05-21 07:13 (UTC)
  • Deletion detected at 2023-06-09 07:31 (UTC)

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[REQ] ($50)(#Las Vegas, NV, USA) (repay $60 3/3/19) ( PayPal, Venmo, Zelle)

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Hello! I messed up & need a small loan for $50 I can pay you back the first week of March. Let me know if you can help!

thefaith1029 deleted from /borrow

• Flair: COMPLETED
• Link to the deleted post
• Was a selfpost with score: 1
• Submitted 2019-02-02 19:11 (UTC)
• Was up for for approx 1587.51 days
• Probably deleted within the past 19.04 days
  • Was last seen up around 2023-05-21 06:32 (UTC)
  • Deletion detected at 2023-06-09 07:30 (UTC)

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[REQ] ($125) - (#Las Vegas, NV, USA), (Repay $150 on 3/01/2019), (PayPal/Zelle/Venmo)

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Just need a small & quick loan.