Heyo!! I'm looking for a long-term roleplay partner who’d be willing to do so on discord! I'm going to be honest, I don't really know how Reddit works, so I just feel that it's a lot easier for me to stick to discord for roleplaying.
I would be looking to do a high fantasy roleplay, as honestly most modern setting RPs get kind of boring because you have to stick to realistic expectations. I have plenty of OCs of all different fantasy races and backstories that I can use! And don't be shy to tell me all about your OCs as well; I love hearing about peoples’ different characters! I commonly draw art and such, so there's a chance that I might draw our characters if I really like the rp! Now, here are my rules and such!! Sorry if I sound a little rude in this, I just want to make sure that people know I'm being serious about all of this!
- I generally only like to do romance high fantasy/medieval fantasy with sometimes angst/drama/action added! Though I can't do roleplays that are just depressing the entire time because it’ll make me sad 😭
- I'm not interested in short-term roleplays, only long-term ones!
- I will absolutely NOT do anything relating to p3dophilia, zo0philia, n3crophilia, inc3st, or any other gross stuff like that (including weird f3tish stuff). If you try to do anything like that with me I will block you.
- I only write in the third person, as I see roleplaying as just writing stories but with another person. I'm not the character I'm playing, so I don't feel the need to write from their point of view.
- I don't mind how much you write but keep in mind that if you write small amounts then the story will likely become dry and I might lose interest. I can understand if you just have writer's block and can't think of what else to add, so as long as the writing keeps the story going it's fine by me.
- Sorry, I don't do roleplays with fursonas or furry OCs. I'm not talking about certain fantasy races, I'm talking about just flat-out fursonas. This is just because I’ve had a lot of.. ‘Weird’ encounters with people who have used them; I hope this doesn't come off as me categorizing furries into all bad and weird people because I know that's not true. I'm just saying that for now I'm not open to it due to past experiences.
- I can write just about any amount, as I will try to mirror how much you write, but I often get writer's block while writing novella lit. So it would be preferred if you could avoid trying to have me write that amount.
- I generally only do bxb or bxa (androgynous), but that doesn't mean that I want to do all that gross [email protected] stuff 💀
- I'm not one to tell you how to make your OCs, but I am going to immediately lose interest if your OC is an “uwu shy kawaii femboy🥺🥺” or if it seems like it's f3tishizing the Japanese or Korean culture, or any other culture for that matter. The same thing goes for those “big dominate alpha males 👿🐺” or super overpowered characters who are just like that for no reason.
- Please don't use real people face claims. If you turn a real, living person into your OC then I'm sorry but I think that's a little weird. Same thing goes for stolen art off of Google. As an artist it's upsetting to see people use someone else’s art as their own OC. But to be clear, I don't mind only if the artist said that they were okay with it and if you give them credit for the art. Picrews are different because they typically have a recognizable signature.
- Don't try to control my character. Don't kill my character unless we've already talked about it and planned it out.
- I'm perfectly fine with doing polyamorous relationships in the rp, and I'm also fine with playing more than one character!
- Please don't think that because our characters are together it means that I'm interested in you romantically or anything. I know that not everyone assumes that, but I've had a few people be like that.
- I don't do fandom role plays, sorry.
- I will only use OCs, as I'm not comfortable roleplaying with canon characters or anything else that isn't a character I made myself.
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Alright, so comment if you’re interested! Please PM me your discord instead of commenting it though (on some Reddits it's not allowed to be commented)! Have a great day!

Hi all, I have a one year old mixed breed That I adopted back in December. Now that all the snow has melted she's discovered that all she wants to do and she's outside is eat sticks. It's been getting progressively worse and I wouldn't mind if it was every so often but it's becoming all she wants to do outside. I live in the woods so it's borderline impossible to clear all the sticks out of my yard. She used to just do it on occasion but would easily be distracted by her ball or a treat but lately I literally have to chase her down to get her to stop.
Her usual commands of "no" and "leave it" don't phase her and she doesn't seem to care if it means a timeout, which is something that has always worked in the past.
How do I get her to stop doing this?

I normally play ARAMs, so I was curious when I got her during a game recently. With the new changes, I was mildly hopeful that in ARAM Yuumi could actually be even better because you don't have to worry about making the switch from ADC to roaming tank/assassin there, you can just pick them from the get go. Our team had a Katarina so this would be a good game to try her out.
While our Katarina was essentially immortal with a Yuumi on her, unfortunately the game was very, very unfulfilling. With the new passive, there is absolutely no incentive to bop around on my team - it was always fun to switch up leaping to whoever is moving in and out of the front line to make sure I had clear Q shots. With the changes, I noticed the Best Friend passive is...bizarre. I spent several minutes on Kat in the early game and switched to Vayne when she died. I was on our Vayne for less than a minute, and my Best Friend switched to her. It took an unusual amount of time for the passive to switch back to Kat once she was back.
I really don't understand the mechanics behind this passive, so it almost seemed risky to switch to other teammates. Maybe if I understood it more, I could weave around and feel assured that a quick change to a different tank won't mess up who my Best Friend is. But also, is it really worth it when the impact of my spells is so dependent on whoever my Best Friend is? Because of this, it seems better to hang out on whoever you picked and wait for them to run up to the front to land your Qs.
I got lucky with my Kat pick, she knew how to play her champion and ran up to the front quite a bit. It's pretty obnoxious when you ride on someone and they are too scared to go up and do anything. Old Yuumi, it's no biggie - simply hop to whoever is playing the game. New Yuumi, who knows how many minutes of punishment you'll receive with the Best Friend passive waiting for it to change.
The one thing I liked was the change to the Q timing, I kind of like the accelerated lock on. This is the only thing I thought was actually more fun to play with and I honestly hit more Qs than previously. I know it's a meme that she "has the best aim in the spirit realm", but let's be real - when the person you're riding on moves back or to the side non-intuitively, it can really fuck up your aim. The Q actually feels a bit more smooth to me now.
So, with no real movement, I just spent the game riding on Kat, Q when it's up, E when she goes in, R when she goes in - which also felt less impactful without the stun? I don't really care that I can aim it now, I kind of preferred having it locked with a stun which made using it more interesting.
I had a Luden's, no other items, a shit ton of gold, and an immortal Kat at the end of the game that we just mowed down the lane with. All while doing 10% of what I used to do with Yuumi. It really shouldn't be this way. I've never actually been griefed before for picking Yuumi, and this is also the only game where the enemy team was so outraged by my backpack mode play that I got hate from them post game (our team won). Echoing the same sentiment in this sub - isn't this exactly what Riot was trying to get away from?

Hi all, baby number 4 is on the way and our doula is concerned we haven’t chosen a name yet. We calmed her down with some chamomile tea and reiki, but truthfully we are a little stressed too.
The names for our little ones all follow a theme. Because we are both spiritual people, we share a soul bond with Mother Earth. We often joke we are not a couple, but a throuple! There truly are 3 of us in this marriage.
During one of our barefoot forest walks, I looked up at the canopy of trees and I heard the wind blow. The rustling leaves said “Ash”, as clear as day. The whispering touched my soul, as Mother Nature made her opinion clear. I knew then what we had to do.
Later that same year, baby Ash was born. Our other 2 little ones (we prefer not to use gendered terms, like son or daughter) also have tree names, each of them 3 letters long. We have little Elm and also baby Oak.
Oak is actually a particularly special one, because it is a tribute name. My great great grandmother’s maiden name was Leibovitz. We really wanted to honour her. Even though she died 72 years before I was born, I’ve always felt a deep connection to her, the sort that transcends words.
I realised that Leibovitz being her maiden name was perfect. Naturally my mind went straight to the obvious link between another well known Leibovitz (Annie) and Annie Oakley. It seemed serendipitous that there was such a clear connection between my great great grandmother’s maiden name and Annie Oakley. From there, the logical next step was to shorten the name to Oak. I think fate conspired to create the connection between nature, family and our ancestors.
The struggle is with baby 4. We have not yet been struck by inspiration for a 3 letter tree themed name for the little one. Please help us, guys.
Namaste
From Moon Flower Juniper Berry (nee Jane WhiteGirl)

Hello everyone , I’m sure people have asked this already but . I’m planning on getting a second credit card . I’ve had the Wells fargo active cash for about 3 years . My credit limit is 1k . I have a score of 722 . I want a credit card that gives me a good enough limit. I have a car loan and making around 50k . I was thinking chase sapphire but other recommended discover it . What should i do?

So y’all can probably ignore this but I need to vent. As a long term souls player, started with DS1 in 2012, I’ve long enjoyed fighting invaders, it’s a fun challenge to put yourself up against another human. My boyfriend had never been willing to play a soulsbourne game until elden ring came out and he watched me play it. Since he loved the game we have been attempting to play through the old games, we started with blood borne and had now moved on to dark souls
I’ve been super excited to play through 3 with him as it’s such a fun game. Which he will now no longer play because of the most toxic invader I have ever encountered in my over a decade of playing.
He kept invading us at the high wall of lothric, while we had nothing but our starting equipment and the invader had end game weapons and armor. Each hit of his took over half of our health and our hits did maybe 1/20 of his health. The fight lasted for over ten minutes because he kept running away and healing. He used 7 flasks in our fight while we each only had 1 each when we encountered him because we had been progressing through the level, and you only have 3 at the start
He was not a good player, he was just able to outrun us because he was so much higher leveled our stamina ran out chasing him before his did allowing him to heal over and over again. We were not losing to him because of skill, we had done over 5 full bars of his health in damage, without him hitting us twice.
I haven’t played DS3 in years, but etiquette was always to drink all your flasks at the start of the fight, or not to use them so it’s a fair fight. This was not a fair fight, it was some small dicked bully attacking starting characters with nothing while having clearly maxed out gear and maxed out flasks. He did this multiple times burning through all of available embers so we can’t summon each other, not that it matters since my boyfriend is no longer willing to play the game, since people act like bullies in it. This screams school yard bully who will get flattened if he picks on someone in his grade so he is beating up the kindergarteners, who still almost kicked his ass.
To this jackass. You are a pathetic coward and it’s pretty clear what kind of weak person you are in real life.
TLDR: Pathetic coward with maxed out gear and flasks repeatedly invaded and was barely able to kill starting characters with all lvl1 equipment. Now my boyfriend will no longer play one of my favorite games because he doesn’t want to waste his time with pathetic trolls.

Yes, this is the 5th year in a row I'm doing a Wrestlemania Haters' Guide. Why? Because the subject of pro wrestling hasn't been banned from the subrebbit, so loopholes ahoy, baby!
Anywho, this year's event is at SoFi Stadium in California. The last Wrestlemania in the state of California? Wrestlemania 31. A mostly well regarded PPV with one of the most shocking main event outcomes in Wrestlemania history. Remember when Wrestlemania shows had SEVEN matches on the main card? Apparently, since everyone needs their Wrestlemania payday, and two nights pay better than one, that is a reality that can no longer exist. Nowadays, Wrestlemania weekend means that for four consecutive days from Friday Night SmackDown to the Monday Night RAW the night after, your eyes are to be glued to the squared circle with zero deviation. With that in mind, and considering how batshit crazy WWE's behind the scenes drama and shift in power balance has been over the past year, we actually made it to Wrestlemania 39. Let's see the 13 matches vying for ultimate immortality.
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Brock Lesnar vs. Omos (with MVP)
Try to act surprised when I tell you that this matchup is rumored to be a Vince concept. It seems HHH has given Vince the one match to book, and thankfully nothing more.
That being said...guys...we need to take this time to particularly talk about Omos. This dude isn't getting over. He's fallen off ever since he lost the tag titles, and ended his feud with his former tag partner, AJ Styles. What's he been doing since? Mostly matches with Bobby Lashley again. Yes, Lashley vs Omos was a match at last year's Wrestlemania, and that loss has proven to only hurt Omos' relevance, and especially his TV time. Over the past year, his matchups have pretty much been exclusive to house shows. Either squashing much smaller men, or jobbing to Lashley in order to make The Almighty look better. The one time WWE actually chose to use him in any meaningful situation was a matchup against Braun Strowman at Crown Jewel. Which of course he lost that match.
Bottom line, He's just not that much of a presence anymore. I know that WWE under the HHH regime has seen the end of mass talent layoffs, but this guy is a waste of a matchup. He's got to go. His career is going absolutely nowhere, even with MVP at his side. Who in their right mind believes he can hang with Brock Lesnar?
Granted, Brock's the perfect opponent for him. A typical Omos match does not exceed 10 minutes, which is perfect for Brock's aggressive, fast-forward style. Furthermore, in terms of overall size, Omos is outside Brock's normal range of opponent. It's gonna be a Wrestlemania moment on its own when Brock lifts Omos up for the F-5, but after that... you're left with Omos getting tossed back into the toy chest until the next house show rolls around. Take the hint, WWE. Give Omos another loss, and send him back to his home in Nigeria. He misses his family dearly, and I think his fellow Omo-sapiens will understand how homesick this man is. (It's really bad when The Great Khali has done your act better).
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Seth "Freakin" Rollins vs. Logan Paul
Ok, you also get ONE celebrity based match, too, but that's it.
In all honesty, Logan Paul has lived above expectations as far as his in-ring performances are concerned. He's not the most compelling and relatable character, but he's able to put on matches that are at least good (vs Roman) to above average (vs Miz). I like to think of him as the male equivalent to Ronda Rousey, where WWE is just using his name for brand recognition. Although unlike Ronda, his name is not exactly lighting up the mainstream media, just social media. And it's not translating well to ratings and awareness that he's living in WWE City. I know that WWE saw how well Logan adapted to the sports entertainment scene. That's just what the Paul brothers tend to do. But here's the kicker. People don't want to see a Paul brother succeed. They want a Paul brother to get knocked on their ass via a huge crushing piston called "reality". Here's an example. When Jake Paul won a boxing match, it was whatever. When he lost to Tommy Fury just recently, now THAT is where the entertainment value was. And Jake did say to judge him by his losses, not his wins. We are prepared to do the same to Logan. Because all he has done so far in WWE is lose. Match quality aside, he has put the "L" in Logan. Let's see if this showdown with Seth gives him his Wrestlemania triumph.
Speaking of which, there's so little to say about Seth Rollins in this equation. At least he knows who his opponent is this year. At least he had the spectacular Cody Rhodes feud before the wrestling gods gave Cody time off (and a hell of a match to go out on). He did kinda get stuck trying to put Matt Riddle over before Riddle succumbed to his own vices, but this is the most over Seth Rollins has been. Most of it is the fancy new "sing me to the ring, and never stop singing" entrance, but it's the little things that make you a big star around these parts. And really, I can't picture anyone else in this scenario. The Visionary vs The Influencer. This should be a fun contest, and bragging rights for weeks to come if Rollins walks out the loser. However, if it means more of Logan Paul appearing in WWE... honestly, every wrestling fan loses. I know Logan says his contract is up after Wrestlemania, but somehow, I'm not a believer WWE will let him slip away that easily.
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Trish Stratus, Lita, and Becky Lynch vs. Damage CTRL (Bayley, Dakota Kai, and Iyo Sky)
Let's take you back to Summerslam 2022. Bianca Belair standing tall over an obsessed Becky Lynch, and then out comes Bayley. Away from the WWE for over a year to rehab a freak accident during training for the return to live events. But the twist no one was expecting is that Bayley didn't return alone. She brought back two women to form a stable that would be ever present across RAW ever since. Dakota Kai, previously handed her pink slip a few months prior, was given a second chance at her WWE life by Bayley. As well as Iyo Sky, who already had one foot out the door while living in NXT limbo. Thus, they formed the group Damage CTRL, and while neither member was successful in capturing singles gold (Especially Bayley.), the Women's Tag Team Championships... that was a different story. Aside from one week being without the titles, Kai/Sky have held them for 5 months. It's only recently that Becky Lynch and a returning Lita have come into possession of said titles, with a little help from Trish Stratus, who much like Lita, is never REALLY retired.
And now we have an interesting 6-woman tag contest that's been put together as a result. Becky Lynch and two Hall of Fame legends combat a group that needs a decisive Wrestlemania victory as a trio. Becky's been fighting Damage CTRL longer than anyone else, so it is safe to assume this will be the beginning of the end of this neverending war. Especially if Damage CTRL can finally walk away from their battles against Becky with heads held high... hopefully.
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Rey Mysterio vs. Dominik Mysterio
Yeah, this match was pretty much a foregone conclusion. I feel like they could have done this match at any Wrestlemania possible, but first we need someone to be heel in this contest, and it's sure as hell not gonna be Rey Mysterio.
So... Dominik... I'm a bit mixed on his career trajectory. Because right now, across the board, he's just good, but not great. He's trying to be on the same level as his father, sometimes even emulating him either for heat or grasping the Mysterio name for some miniscule level of credibility... but at this point, it's been more than a minute since his career started, and the excuses are running out. Hell, that promo where he declared he's the next Eddie Guerrero... yeah, that definitely ruffled a few feathers online. btw, still using Eddie's name as a vehicle in your Wrestlemania matchup build in 2023... come on, guys. And yes, Eddie came a long way as shown by his WCW work, and the level of promo that Guerrero was cutting at the time. So maybe it's better we get this shit version of Dominik out of the way now, so he can eventually become WWE Superstar Dominik Mysterio, with a celebrated World Championship reign of... 2 months.
What is actually happening here is that Rey Mysterio is being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame this year, so his career clock is running out. So this match is immediately happening before Rey's knees collapse into themselves, and thankfully, the way this match was booked ensures that Wrestlemania will be the point where this feud has absolutely peaked. God, the pop on Rey finally striking his son. I haven't seen him get that much pleasure out of beating his kids since he got his copy of WWE '13.
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Hell in a Cell Match
Edge vs "The Demon" Finn Balor
Ladies and gentlemen, your neverending feud. It wasn't too long ago that Edge formed The Judgment Day, a heel stable dedicated to taking the younger generation under Edge's wing. First, it was Damian Priest, a lost soul looking for guidance, looking to escape his never ending punishment. Then, it was Rhea Ripley, a individual whose presence in the group took on a life of its own (more on that later). And somewhere along the way, they even added Rey Mysterio's son, Dominik, into the fray, which he sorely needed. But none of those additions compared to their last member... Finn Balor, who immediately led a coup overthrowing Edge as their leader. It could be because Edge opposed the direction that The Judgment Day was going, but don't let rumors and heresay dissaude you from the fact that the preceding battle of Finn Balor leading The Judgment Day in a crusade to make Edge's life a living hell has been happening for a couple months too long. Even Edge's own wife had to pay the price for her troubles, and because Edge taught them too well. It feels like we've gone just about everywhere these two can go together... except Hell in a Cell. Oh, and Finn Balor's "Demon" persona is listed as the opponent, but hey, 3-4 hours in the makeup chair will absolutely be worth it to bring back a character he said he discarded in his second NXT run. Of course, wrestlers say a lot of things, but Finn's such a professional, we figured that declaration would stick.
At least this way, these two can guarantee a great Wrestlemania match... for about 15 minutes until Damian gets involved in some way. Plus it's probably Edge's match to lose. Unless he makes another agreement, this is his last year on his WWE contract. And of course The Judgment Day has nowhere to go but up. Even though it could possibly be a splintered group if Rhea gets the job done at Wrestlemania (again, more on that later.)
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Men's Wrestlemania Showcase
Braun Strowman and Ricochet vs. The Street Profits (Angelo Dawkins and Montez Ford) vs. Alpha Academy (Chad Gable and Otis) vs. The Viking Raiders (Erik and Ivar)
Since the Tag Team title match later on is a 2 team affair, we need to show the world that, yes, we do indeed have other teams in reserve, and no, our tag team division is NOT dead why would you even say that!
These are, admittedly, the usual suspects. The Viking Raiders have been a "pushed one week, not pushed the next" team over the past couple years. More importantly, they haven't been consistently healthy. Finally getting their chance to make their mark, and a new face among them in Valhalla who's career is probably gonna last longer than theirs, perhaps they get a credible win this time around?
The Street Profits... still exist. WWE, in their endless quest to not pull the trigger on a Montez Ford push, has him continued to be weighed down by Angelo Dawkins, a guy who is good, but not AS good. Even if they win, let's be real. It's not going to improve their standing as a tag team.
Alpha Academy... is also still here. Despite WWE not knowing exactly what they are going to do with Otis, and Chad Gable continuing to be another jobber to the stars, we still have a team, miraculously. It feels like nowadays these two would be better off apart, which is weird to say considering they were mostly on top around this time last year.
The underdog in this scenario is the makeshift team with no name... Braun and Ricochet. Braun has seen success in the past, but Ricochet... the mountain he climbed wasn't nearly as tall. You look at this team, and you look at a duo that just doesn't belong. Individual success in singles, cannon fodder in a tag match. If anything, they might be the team to surprise everyone, and secure a victory here. It all depends on what their future holds, as well as the future of the tag division, considering what lies ahead.
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Women's Wrestlemania Showcase
Liv Morgan and Raquel Rodriguez vs. Natalya and Shotzi vs. Ronda Rousey and Shayna Baszler vs. Chelsea Green and Sonya Deville
Supposedly, Becky Lynch & Lita were supposed to defend their Women's Tag Team Championship at Wrestlemania on top of the 6-woman clash with Damage CTRL. Now that is crazy. And clearly, WWE wasn't crazy enough to have Lita wrestle 2 nights in a row. So we have a Women's Tag Team showcase. And what a tag team showcase it is. Including tag teams that... aren't really tag teams. I could give you writeups on where each of these women are in their career prior to this tag team extravaganza, but let's cut to the chase. Ronda Rousey is in this match. Considering all the other women in this mix, Ronda Rousey is not walking away with an L at Wrestlemania (forget Wrestlemania 35, one of the most celebrated wins in women's wrestling). Her and Shayna Baszler would have more than likely become Women's Tag Team Champions had things been a little different, and I believe they will be by the end of the year, so if anyone needs this win for bragging rights and for the rocket to propel them towards the gold, it's Ronda and Shayna. Any other win is a waste of time. I will say I am surprised to see Chelsea Green at Wrestlemania. I feel like I just saw her in Impact Wrestling 6 months ago. She was absolutely gonna team with Carmella, but it appears the wrestling gods aren't done bringing maximum misfortune upon Carmella, so Sonya Deville, you're here. You're not doing anything. The rest of you... one of you is more than likely eating the pin. Natalya, thank you for your 15 year long service to WWE, and your service will continue with a Ronda exclamation point. You understand, of course...
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Still, what would Wrestlemania be without title defences? A legit question I hope that WWE never answers.
WWE United States Championship
Austin Theory (c) vs. John Cena
John Cena has not wrestled at Wrestlemania in 3 years. And hasn't wrestled at a live Wrestlemania in 5 years. And it was an Undertaker match that wasn't even properly advertised (Is a 2 minute match at Wrestlemania even a REAL match?)! It's so weird to see the hero of the Ruthless Aggression era absent from Wrestlemania. Not even talking about a match, just... not even a cameo? But it's fine. John Cena has his noteworthy career in Hollywood, and has to stop being Peacemaker to become WWE Superstar for one night only. His opponent?
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Austin Theory. Austin Theory is absolutely living up to his potential, at last. Over the past year, he has become a superstar that you can slot into pretty much any situation. Get your cheek bashed in by Tyson Fury? Done. Keep the US Championship relevant? Oh yeah. Main event for RAW? Done and dusted. While Roman is mostly King of SmackDown, it's RAW that is lacking in a World Title to call its own, and it feels like Austin Theory has done his damndest to take up the mantle. It's a shame that he has yet to receive that one victory to cement his place on the upper card. That match could very well be pinning John Cena at Wrestlemania, which is more than likely going to happen because Cena has so few Wrestlemania matches left in him, and the torch needs to be passed. Not that such a torch passing achievement is a sure thing, because Kurt Angle passed the torch to Baron Corbin in 2019, and... yeah. Should be a better match than people are thinking considering I don't think Cena has lost a single step post-Hollywood, and Austin Theory will no doubt be not only pulling out all the stops, but ripping them out, to boot. I assume there's a lot of certainty behind this stop ripping, because it's going to be the opening match of Wrestlemania on Saturday. Best of luck, Theory. Admittedly, this isn't the Austin vs Cena match I wanted, but we haven't fully invented time travel yet.
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WWE Intercontinental Championship
Gunther (c) vs. Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre
Damn. Just... damn. If there was a singles match with any combination of these 3 men at Wrestlemania, you are guaranteed ****1/2 star minimum. The evidence speaks loudly. Drew and Sheamus wallop each other, and it's 4 stars. Gunther and Sheamus take lumps of flesh out of one another at Cardiff, it's considered a match of the year candidate. I feel for the human bodies in this war. Through Gunther's own impatience, what would have been a competitive 1v1 brawl turns into a Triple Threat clusterfuck, said in the nicest terms. There's only so much unique text I can type being envious of everyone in this match. It's not THE main event, but it's my main event.
Sheamus has spent the past year or two putting the heavy in heavyweight, being the hard hitting bruiser he always knew he could be. Teaming with The Brawling Brutes and being an overall menace in the 6-man division (Ha! You thought there was a Trios division in WWE, didn't you?).
Drew has been all over the card. World Title shot one month, feuding with Karrion Kross the previous months, and now he's got his chance at gold he can realistically carry for at least a couple months. If only said gold wasn't held by Gunther.
Gunther... the walking weapon of WWE (get well soon, Josh Alexander). I petition this man should absolutely get his name changed to Midas, because everything he touches is gold. All I have to do is point directly at his NXT matches with Ilya Dragunov, and say that such excessive violence is the peak of WWE content. And his match quality has stood strong even when he leapt up to the main roster. It's been that way for the past 9 months ever since he won the IC title. Body after body falling before his presence. The best IC Champion in a long time. If he loses this match, it's because WWE looked back at his... well, it's less of a true one-on-one match, and more of a "last two guys in the Royal Rumble" match against Cody, and realized that Gunther is that guy. And hopefully, he does not fall between the cracks in the process. This match has potential to be match of the year. Watch out, grab a bucket of popcorn, and hold it tight.
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RAW Women's Championship
Bianca Belair (c) vs. Asuka
Bianca, congratulations on your year long success. I'm all for you breaking down barriers, and making history (herstory's too cheesy, and I don't want to devalue her accomplishments), but what awaits you at this Wrestlemania is a challenger to your title unlike any other before her.
Asuka.
Asuka has transformed into a figure better representing her previous life as KANA. This is an Asuka not hindered by wacky dancing and horrendously awkward promos, this is an Asuka that plays with your head. Make you fear NOT what is coming, but why it hasn't already appeared. We've seen so little of this Asuka in WWE, and we've seen very little of these two in a one-on-one setting. Maybe a match here and there on RAW, but this pairing have yet to see a long term rivalry. At last, WWE have realized to, as the Fighting Game Community used to say, save that shit for nationals. Well, Wrestlemania is your nationals.
Asuka is a dangerous customer all her own. If she hasn't knocked your head off with precise kicks, or ripped you limb from limb in one of her many submissions, then beware what awaits you if she opens her mouth. And heaven knows how this new persona has affected her typical approach.
Bianca, you also know the score with her. Stamina to spare, and power for miles. She's been holding that RAW Women's Championship ever since last year's Wrestlemania, and has worn that title to the fullest, decimating any and all competitors who think they can hang with her. Including against Asuka at Hell in a Cell, with a little help from Becky. Now Bianca and Asuka need only focus on each other. This is a fresh new Asuka against a Bianca who is prepared to weather this tsunami threatening to take her title. Another classic Wrestlemania encounter awaits.
As for who will walk away with the cherry championship, I feel like Asuka wins, just because Bianca isn't ready for Asuka. Not to seem cliche, or desperate to squeeze in a catchphrase or two, but I feel like one of Asuka's newest unknown tricks is going to be the deciding factor. And it's also definitely not going to be the last time these two square off with a championship at stake. Here's hoping.
​
SmackDown Women's Championship
Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Rhea Ripley
You know, when this match took place 3 years ago, I hoped Rhea would win. A rising star straight out of NXT with the boost she needed to be at the top of the mountain. But that's not what happened. Charlotte outperformed her. Back then, I figured Rhea winning was a must. The momentum of WCW Lex Luger after his world title win over Hollywood Hogan, and with a loss, it would be turned into WWF Lex Luger with no title to his own. That's also not what happend. Rhea climbed her way back up, scratched and clawed for every achievement. For a while, she was at the top of RAW's Women's Division. It's clear now she didn't need the boost, she just needed to plant her feet above ground level, and the business would work for her from there. And then something happened. She became a part of The Judgement Day. She got the kudos, she got the tutelage, and she got herself a Royal Rumble win. And a ticket to a championship opportunity. The roles are reversed. Now it's not Rhea insisting Charlotte use her Rumble win to challenge her for the NXT Championship, now it's Rhea using her prize as a chance to correct history, and become SmackDown Women's Champion.
There is debate on whether or not this match is worthy of a Wrestlemania main event slot. Considering how white hot the storylines are in the last two matches being covered, and the potential of just having women main event a Wrestlemania night for PR backpatting, it's definitely a match with a case to state. A Royal Rumble winner being in the last match of the show isn't a sure thing, and the build might not make the match seem as hype as others, but if these two think they are worthy of closing the show... then I hope they tear the roof off SoFi.
These two are top of the line. Charlotte can turn her offensive focus on a dime, Rhea is prepared to play dirty to realize her dream, and Rhea is facing the daughter of the dirtiest player in the game. This isn't gonna be a pretty contest. A heated, brutal slugfest is a much better descriptor. I believe Rhea will leave behind any shred of doubt that she is on Charlotte's level. But Charlotte's not just gonna lie down, and let her title slip away. Look forward to this match being talked about for the next few months afterward.
​
Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championship
The Usos (Jey Uso and Jimmy Uso) (c) vs. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn
The year is 2023. The Usos continue their eternal stranglehold on the WWE Tag Team division. It's been due to The Bloodline's dissention being one of the most compelling storylines in recent WWE memory, and at the center of that discourse is Sami Zayn. We've been watching him over the past year align with Roman, damn near become the second-in-command of The Bloodline, fight against his best friend Kevin Owens (which to be fair, is neither the first nor the last time that's happened), and then have Sami reach his boiling point with a payoff betrayal of Roman Reigns being a deafening roar of heroism, to Sami getting squashed underneath Roman's boot. But now Sami knows his true target; The Usos. But he can't do it alone. He needs help from his former best friend, Kevin Owens. Owens wants no part of Sami's personal war, considering that Sami joined in on any and all Bloodline beatdowns of Kevin Owens. However, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, so friends turned rivals turned friends again believe they have the best chance of finally overcoming The Usos and their umpteenth day reign as Tag Team champions.
And the bond of The Usos is stronger than it's been. Jey Uso, with a small drop of uncertainty, spent a whole month absent from WWE itself, uncertain if the direction of The Bloodline was one he was willing to follow. In the end, blood was thicker than water. And rather than Sami and Jey be the duo to get it done, Jey kicked those dreams away, picking family over personal glory. Just be glad the titles haven't been given the proper Freebird rule, because there was a house show or two where the part of Jey Uso was played by Solo Sikoa. Ah yes, Solo is finally a part of WWE's main roster proper. Spent the first 6 months of his career undefeated (just had his first loss to Cody on Monday. Still looked strong). If the Usos start to, in any capacity, show signs of losing, expect this enforcer to interject.
In reality, you know how strong The Usos are as a unit. Slick teamwork, lethal attacks and combinations to double up their mighty blows... they've been holding on to those titles legit, even without interference. Will this reunited twosome of Kevin and Sami be any different? I don't think so. Sami's been on the inside until recently, and Kevin's been fighting them longer than anyone. In my mind, they might just be the force to catch The Usos slipping, and become the new Tag Team Champions. Of course, that depends on if the wrestling gods have grown tired of seeing The Usos hog the tag titles for over a year plus. I think most of us are.
​
---
With the dirty dozen of Wrestlemania clashes chronicled, we now come to the final contest; The Undisputed WWE Universal Championship. You know the first name, but the second one is a name seeking glory that his generation could never grasp. Let's get the obvious one out of the way first.

Roman Reigns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZwTHoHI8cQ
Roman Reigns wanted his Head of the Table gimmick realized, or he would walk out on WWE. The fans believed in their Tribal Chief becoming the face of WWE. Over the past 900+ days, that's what happened. The fans got their reward..... their eternal reward. Roman has stood on top for far longer than any human being in the Wrestlemania generation. Male or Female. Singles or Tag Team. In fact, walking into this match, this is the 3rd straight year that Roman is defending his world championship. No one else can make such a claim. Not even Hulk Hogan, who felt like his time at the top of the mountain lasted far longer.
It's not hard to see why Roman is breaking as many records as he is. It's because of how far he has come. You look back at his time even 5-10 years ago, a time where the crowd wanted absolutely none of Vince's personal project. His promo material was awful, his matches were against people who were either leagues above him in wrestling ability, or they were far too immobile to be of any help. Roman Reigns was everything except over with the crowd. You can throw him in as many main events as you want, he will never be acknowledged. The fans despised him because of the simple fact that he was "The Guy". The guy in the big Wrestlemania matches, the second man ever to have defeated The Undertaker at Wrestlemania, the guy who got chance after chance at the spotlight when many other favored sons received diddly-squat in comparison.
With that, Roman worked smarter. Seeking his family entourage to grant them guaranteed success, his wise council in Paul Heyman being the Don King to his Mike Tyson, his general improvement and diversity in his offense beyond just spears and superman punches, as well as limiting when and where his title matches take place to make them the big deal that they deserve to be. Roman has been used in a significantly smaller capacity over the past year, to the point of some considering him a part-timer, which is a dangerous role around these parts. The continuous rumors over Roman taking time off were constant, and everpresent. They felt more like a tease that the oppressive era of The Bloodline was coming to an end. In actuality, it meant that the other members of The Bloodline got their chance to shine on equal terms.
Roman has been at the center of damn near every major storyline going on in WWE. Whenever Roman appears, whether making his way to RAW, or defending his title at a Premium Live Event, it is a big deal. A must see for any and all eyes on the product. He is what he, and the people who believed in him all those years ago, wanted him to become. The face of WWE. His actions as of recent have made him anything BUT face. Him destroying Sami Zayn at Royal Rumble and Elimination Chamber have secured his place as the top heel of the company for the near future, and it has been reflected in how he achieves his Ws. One way or another, he has pulled win after win out of his ass, either through capitalizing on chaos, or outpeforming the opposition. But there is one man he has never been able to defeat in a meaningful encounter. That is Roman's Wrestlemania opponent. A man, who as of 4 years ago, was All Elite.
​

"The American Nightmare" Cody Rhodes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i36tXq7yK6c
​
This really is the embodiment of never say never. Cody Rhodes left the WWE in a huff, shamed and embarrassed at his personal exit. But he didn't linger for long. He went back on the grind.
So.. what do you wanna talk about? Well, let's talk about Cody's post-WWE life.
You name a wrestling promotion in the United States, the likes of the NWA, the likes of Ring of Honor, he has swam to the top of it. Creating and forging his own legacy and identity. Not afraid to speak his own mind, not afraid to step above his station, and especially not afraid to fight his ass off, and put on matches well above his own average. As a result, a special thing happened in 2017. Wrestling journalist Dave Meltzer felt that Ring of Honor would not sell out a 10,000 seat arena any time soon. Cody took him up on that declaration. In an event known as "The Bet", such a PPV exceeding that crowd capacity was called All In, and it planted the seeds for what is now the #2 wrestling promotion in the United States. It's crazy to think way back when that THAT Cody Rhodes would be partially responsible for helping to create the first promotion to take a sizable chunk out of WWE's audience since the WCW days; All Elite Wrestling.
But what no one else was expecting in the early days of AEW was Cody's career trajectory. The first to challenge for the AEW World Title held by Chris Jericho under the condition that if Cody can't beat Jericho, he will never challenge for that title again. It would be Cody's one, and only, shot at that title. He failed. From then on, Cody would obtain a title worth fighting for; the TNT Championship. Challenger after challenger vanquished every single week for as long as Cody held that title. With the exception of getting mauled into submission by the late Brodie Lee, Cody would stay the course. The only thing that would stop him... was discourse. Among the AEW fans. They felt that Cody only had his success because it was his company. And it was that stigma that eventually caused the fans to turn on him. Through a combination of that bitterness, as well as clashing with his fellow EVPs, Cody felt the time was right to leave AEW to its own devices. Unthinkable at the time, but by January 2022, it became reality. Cody was a free man once again.
From there, it was a matter of days. The day... was Wrestlemania last year. Speculation on Seth Rollins' mystery opponent had the rumor mill swirling. Perhaps Gable Steveson, maybe Shane McMahon? But Cody Rhodes? Come on, there's no way. And then the lights went black come match time.. to the tune of "Kingdom". And a crowd reaction that broke the sound barrier. My god... it actually happened. Cody Rhodes returned to WWE.
It must have come with a hex on Cody's body, because a couple months later, Cody tore a pectoral muscle meaning his WWE return would be short lived... if this were a man of logic and discretion, perhaps. Cody wrestled a classic Hell in a Cell encounter despite his pec looking incredibly sore against Seth Rollins to cap off that rivalry. And then the recuperation began.
Not a peep on Cody's return until the Royal Rumble. After putting on another clinic with Gunther to fight over the Wrestlemania main event, Cody stood tall. And thus, the match was set in stone. It's Roman Reigns vs Cody Rhodes. WWE's golden boy, vs AEW's exiled founding father. Cody Rhodes attempting to realize a dream that his father, The American Dream, was never able to make reality. A matchup that didn't even seem possible 2 years ago is now suddenly the main event of Wrestlemania. Wrestling is a special thing, sometimes.
In short, this matchup is indeed main event worthy. It's an even bout from top to bottom. Roman's power and authority vs Cody's acumen and knowhow. A godlike force vs a man seeking wrestling immortality. It's either going to be jaded WWE fans swearing to never watch again as long as Roman's still the champ, or AEW fans seething and coping that Cody is standing tall in enemy territory. A main event for the ages that one man has to lose. A duel of the fates that will be spoken of in documentaries and future montages to come. The quest to decide the undisputed WWE Champion.
Who will it be?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aST-5fzb1Iw
\A DYNAMITE PREDICTON**
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_HFnIGszr4
All things considered, I think this match is a lot closer than people think it is. Cody has been fighting to no end, and he's confident that he has Roman's number. He has a reason to be champion other than just being the top guy in the company, but to Roman, that is his only reason. And that is his driving motivator. And such an obsession will be his undoing. All it will take is one mistake, one spear off the mark, and Cody will strike with an unforeseen fury and desire. This is Cody Rhodes' night. He will raise both titles, and discard both physical championships to bring back the golden World Heavyweight Championship that his father once wore proudly. Don't deny me this moment, WWE. Don't deny your fans someone new at the top for fucking once. And please keep away from Saudi Arabia's Public Investment Fund. The morality of your fanbase depends on it. Not like morality has stopped any of your poor decision making in the past. Speaking of poor decisions, enjoy your weekend of bodyslams and crossbody splashes to the outside. Ring the bell, fuckers!
​
---
https://youtu.be/4CUXV3BfeD4?t=184
Thanks for reading. Have fun with Nick Khan saying the quiet part out loud.
Nick Khan: Just one note on that, I don’t run the WWE. There’s only one person who actually runs the WWE, Vince McMahon. A lot of folks help me to help run the WWE.

Trailer
"Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves" is smart to only skirt the line of parody. Taking material like this too seriously would likely result in yet another disposable piece of big-budget fantasy pastiche, and leaning too much into the silliness would prevent us from actually seeing the elements the filmmakers take just seriously enough. This film gets to have its fun, while also convincing us that its world and characters have some underlying value beyond the potential for humor. It strikes just the right tone, and that goes a long way.
This world and the broad outlines of these characters, of course, come from the role-playing game of the same name, known mostly as a cliché about nerds and for the weird panic circa the 1980s about its supposed connection to the occult. To get into the particulars of the game, its history, and its cultural impact would take too long (even if I knew or cared about those things in the first place). Such a description would also be irrelevant, except to note the general notion that it is supposed to be a game that allows for some degree of imagination on the part of the participants. In those respects, too, the filmmakers seem to get it right.
The plot is just here as a jumping-off point for some amusing fun involving a string of likeable characters. Indeed, the whole idea of any kind of backstory is gently mocked in the film's prologue, which sees convicted thieves Edgin (Chris Pine) and Holga (Michelle Rodriguez) locked up in a towering prison in the middle of a frozen wasteland. They are to appear before the fantastical realm's equivalent of a parole board to state their case for early release, and as Edgin goes through his tragic back story involving his time as a spy and the murder of his wife at the hands of wizards and how Holga helped him to raise his daughter, he's basically just stalling, awaiting the arrival of a board member whose appearance will guarantee that the duo get out of prison.
There's a long synopsis possible here, which would discuss how and why the two are betrayed by former thieving teammate Forge (Hugh Grant), how that group of red wizards and their apparent leader Sofina (Daisy Head) have a wicked scheme to turn the world into brain-dead zombies, and just how many things our heroes have to find and just how many places they have to go in for assorted reasons. But a shorter one is probably more productive and more in line with flippant attitude the filmmakers show toward all of that exposition and plotting.
Basically, Edgin and Holga have to rescue his daughter Kira (Chloe Coleman) and retrieve a Tablet of Awakening from Forge (along with other riches in the villain's vault), so that Edgin can resurrect his dead wife and have the family life he abandoned by becoming a thief. For help, they enlist the aid of Simon (Justice Smith), a low-level sorcerer whose showcase of tricks includes a bit in which he generates the smell of freshly cut grass, and Doric (Sophia Lillis), a shape-shifting druid who's in it for the freedom of her people. Holga insists they'll split Doric's share of the loot among the less idealistic members.
There's an intricacy to the staging of "Honor Among Thieves" that helps balance out the roller-coaster derivativeness of the plot. Edgin's plan leads the crew to a graveyard, where they momentarily resurrect fallen soldiers to ask five questions of them, and a cavern guarded by a dragon. The bit with the resurrected corpses is deviously funny, especially when those corpses don't want to be left hanging in limbo because of a missed question or two, and the encounter in the dungeon has a few solid gags - involving a structurally unsound bridge and an elaborate puzzle to cross it, as well as the dragon itself, which has lived too idle a life to do much more than crawl and roll in chase.
The whole film, really, has a dry, sarcastic demeanor that's consistently amusing, without overwhelming the characters, the action, or the more straightforward jokes. More to the point, the cast is clearly having a good time. Pine is the sardonic but fundamentally sincere leader, and Rodriguez's character is tough in her physicality and her blunt honesty. Smith gets the self-deprecating bits as a struggling wizard, and Regé-Jean Page steals the scenes of his brief stint as a seemingly ideal hero. Lillis and Grant are somewhat underutilized, although the shape-shifter is more for the spectacle, including a faux one-take of an infiltration mission, and Grant's foe is appropriately slimy.
Introducing "Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves" at the SXSW film festival, the film's co-directors, John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein, told the audience that they had designed the movie to appeal to hardcore D&D players - and also to those who know absolutely nothing about the game. They weren't kidding. The film is built on the edifice of D&D lore, packed with totems and characters and emblems that fans of the game will detect with a connoisseur's delight. But for those, like me, who have spent their lives avoiding anything to do with Dungeons & Dragons, the film is eminently comprehensible and, in its lively fashion, a lot of fun.

1. Ruthless lets GGG improve mainline mode.

Ruthless allows GGG to serve a different vision to a different part of the player base instead of trying to cater to everyone in the main game.
If people scream "I can't trade all this chaos!" they can increase stack size in mainline mode, and nerf droprate in Ruthless, and that's exactly what is happening. Both are valid solutions but serve different visions.

2. Ruthless leads to cool ideas for mainline mode.

Ruthless has different problems and their solutions can prompt cool interesting things they can adapt to mainline mode.
GGG can feel "Ascendencies are too powerful in Ruthless, let's nerf them. But now they feel unimpactful, what if we changed them this way? That's cool. Let's tweak that for mainline and bring it to them!" and that's exactly what is happening.

Complaint: Ruthless should only be a side project.

What a side project entails will always be subjective. Especially when talking to Chris Wilson, who while the CEO of the company, is passionate about said side project.
GGG said Ruthless was developed as a side project by a few developers, mostly in their spare time. The most expensive part of Ruthless was developing it from nothing. It shipped way later then they thought because they didn't prioritize it. We didn't get shittier leagues for it to exist.
That doesn't mean it will always just be a spare time project, or even a side project. That isn't a lie from GGG.
The Ruthless beta was supposed to get patches and many changes all the way through. Ruthless beta got almost nothing because a single developer assigned to it didn't have the time. That doesn't sound like "taking significant resources away from mainline" to me.
While not specifically stated, I personally think at this time it would be reasonable to think of GGG caring about Ruthless less than they do about Hardcore, but more than Solo Self Found, and both pale in comparison to how much attention mainline gets. That can and will probably also change from league to league. If Ruthless gets a patch to fix something but mainline doesn't, does that really mean Ruthless is suddenly bad for the game and mainline is dead? No, that would be ridiculously.
Keep your pitchforks for if ever Ruthless got a league and mainline didn't.

Complaint: An official race is Ruthless this league!

Softcore players complained when almost every single race is hardcore. Changing things up doesn't mean the other modes are abandoned. Though it does seem like SSFHC is the most successful race format currently. Maybe that will change over time, or maybe it won't. You don't need to compete in everything. Hell, organize your own race in your own preferred mode. Many players have been incredibly successful doing that. It is good for the game for many options to exist.

Complaint: They are changing leveling for a Ruthless Race!

This is just plain wrong, they have clearly demonstrated they can change things just for Ruthless if they want to. If they are changing a similar thing in mainline, it means they think it makes the game better. You may still disagree with them. But you also haven't tried it or had the time to adjust yet. It has nothing to do with Ruthless.

My conclusion: I think Ruthless is great for the game, even for those that don't like it.

A group of us are making the drive to ozark national forest. Our first stop is gunner pool after that I’ve been debating going to either lost Valley or long pool recreation area. What do you suggest? After that we were thinking about doing the Indian Creek Trail. open to suggestions, we’re looking for breathtaking camping sites (very open to dispersed camping) and chasing waterfalls and doing some hiking. We are young, fit and equipped with 4x4 vehicles. Looking for the best of the best and a good time! We prefer not to be camping to close to other ppl. Thanks!! Apologies for typos. I’m on my mobile and at work.

For some context:
He and I have been married 3 years. Moved in together six months into the marriage. SO decided to bring in brother in law (who is 37, SO and I are 32) with him when we moved into our current house 2.5 years ago. Bil had been living with him after he lost his job, so it was logical he would come I guess, but SO never said a word about bringing him. Not to the landlady when we signed our lease and she specifically asked if anyone else will be living, not to me. When I found out through his mother and called him out for not telling me, he basically gaslit me for not asking and brought up other instances where I hadn't told him something (I once went to the dermatologist for skin care routine when we were married but still long distance and didn't tell him).
Since then things have not been great between us. When things are good, he's affectionate, loving, supportive of my interests and ambitions. But bil living with us has caused immense privacy issues which husband doesn't seem to understand. Bil pays no bills and this was also not discussed with me. But SO is rarely receptive to criticism. If I ever bring up an issue related to him, he will either pretend it's a non issue or deflect blame like the example in the first para. Rarely, if ever any apology.
Cut to yesterday. Mil has also been living with us for the last two months and she will be here another four months. It's caused so many space issues since she sleeps in the living room next to the dining table. I like working in the living room at night for some peace and quiet but make sure to turn off the light when she's sleeping. I just work in the dark but I'm far enough from her that the laptop light doesn't bother her.
I've been working late nights often recently because of hectic schedule. Husband asks me every day to work in the bedroom, but I tell him I prefer living room. Yesterday he told me the same thing except in a very enforcing way. And then took away my work laptop and wouldn't return it. I kept warning him to give it back saying I have work and it's unacceptable. I climbed towards him to grab it. Wouldn't give it. I started yelling that I have important deliverables and I need it. Wouldn't give it and held my wrist very tightly and called my name in a warning tone. I screamed to him that he was hurting me. This went on for awhile with me trying to take my laptop back..by now he had closed it so I might have lost unsaved work and I was making a presentation. Once when I was climbing over him trying to grab my laptop from him, he pushed me away with his leg on my waist. I got so angry I started saying the meanest things to him and I told him it's over between us. He said mean things back. He riled me up so much with the things he said I hit his arm.
He finally gave my laptop back but not before saying my working in the living room is a disturbance to his mother, although I specifically mentioned that I ensure the light is off and I just need to be alone when I work. I'm also mad that I pay rent for a two bedroom house and I can't even have some quiet space to work at nights, or sit at the dining table properly (since MIL's bed is next to the dining table only two chairs fit there. All this is to accommodate his brother in the second room).
He clearly told his mother everything and made himself the victim. But I'm just shaken.

Cruisers and travelers!
Has anyone ever used the travel insurance associated with the Chase Sapphire preferred credit card?
How well did it work? How responsive was the insurance company and did you get paid in a timely manner?

The "we're not dead" chapter from u/eruwenn and I. No promises on how fast the next chapter arrives, but it is underway.
First / Prev / Next ------------------------------
Sam Jakobs strode through the lobby of Umgrol Tower with all but one of his most trusted friends. Black suits slipped through the crowd; much like a shark’s fin through waves, they simply parted without a ripple of effort. Faces were grim, eyes focused, and a tension sat on their combined shoulders like a weight they all knew too well.
“I could make an excuse,” Duong offered, deciding to try and break the mood. “No need for you to attend this meeting in person.”
“It’s fine,” former Colonel Jakobs answered with a resigned sigh.
“But, shouldn’t you be with Britney?” Lopez attempted to change his mind with an appeal to his emotions. “She was looking forward to taking you on a roller coaster.”
“I’m doing this for Britney,” the loving father replied without hesitation.
“Avoiding conflict is a good lesson,” Jabari offered his advice.
“True.” Sam conceded the point.
“Knowin’ how to punch a Wachoto so their heart fails is also a good lesson,” Snake said drily.
“Also true,” the group’s leader said, allowing himself a brief chuckle.
“Sam!” Lopez struck his shoulder with the back of her open hand. “Don’t even joke-”
“We’re not killing Hopper’s replacement,” Sam confirmed, allowing himself an almost imperceptible shrug. “Not today, anyway.”
The small ripple of laughter that had passed between them had helped alleviate some of the tension that had been building. Duong paused as one of the tower assistants came jogging up to them, and he held up a hand to stop the others. As the young man approached, the terror was visible in his face. "Your order, Sir." He held up a white box from Pierre's, large enough to require both hands to hold, and instead of saluting he simply bowed his head and extended the package towards them.
“Thank you,” Sam replied, accepting the box and tucking it under his arm. He saw the others staring in confusion. “A gift,” he explained.
“From you…” Jabari said slowly. “To?”
“Did Choco make an exploding cake?” Duong jokingly asked.
“Another exploding cake,” Jabari clarified. “There was that thing in the Whethan Sector.”
Elevator doors opened, and their conversation fell silent as they entered, only to start up again once it began to move.
Jabari had found that humorous antics, or the mere memory of them, often eased tension before combat. He tried the interrupted tactic again. "Remember that time he stole a light cruiser from the Odesza Fundamentalists?" After a brief pause to allow the memories to flow, he added, "What happened to that thing, anyhow?"
“Who knows,” Duong hastily replied, nudging his large friend in the side and nodding to the camera watching them. “Lot of stuff goes missing in war, you know-”
“Cameras are off, dumbass,” Choco’s voice came in over their earpieces.
“Better safe than sorry,” the handsome man replied, flashing a smile to their Erinal in the machine, and began fixing up his hair in the reflection of the camera lens. The elevator stopped, and the conversation paused with practiced precision as the doors parted. The black suits marched silently through the underground military base of Umgrol Tower basement level three, eventually reaching a set of secure doors. Two black armoured soldiers stood either side.
“Death’s Head?” Snake muttered the question to the others, nodding to the unmoving men and the smooth black mirror that made up the face of their helmets. “I thought we were playing nice with the locals?”
“Purely for the new general’s personal security.” Choco supplied the answer over their secure comms channel, as they passed into the room beyond. “Seems he’s the nervous type.” He slurped loudly on something, causing the others to wince at the noise. “Can’t figure why, ha.”
A dozen more of the faceless sets of black armour waited in the room, weapons ready. Near them stood full body scanners, as well as deep, metal trays.
“Weapons,” one of the Death’s Head Dragoons said, gesturing to the waiting receptacles.
The War Rats glanced at each other, smiled, and began unbuttoning their suit jackets. Things began to be deposited at an alarming frequency by everyone present, aside from one. Sam shook his head at the others as he held his box of confections. “I thought I said unarmed?” he asked.
“This is unarmed,” Snake replied, tossing a sixth knife into the tray.
“Oh, you meant unarmed unarmed.” Jabari’s deep voice was full of humour, and he failed to stifle his rumbling laughter as he tossed a large, brightly-coloured grenade into his tray.
The closest guard flinched at the sight of the explosive, and immediately asked, “Is that an Oracle?” He took several steps back, despite knowing that the explosive could vaporise several floors of even this reinforced building. Something whose very name spoke of being a message from god, a literal invite to hell. “Isn’t owning one of those a war crime?”
“In Triumvirate space, sure,” the big man answered, shrugging off the obvious obfuscation. “No local laws are being broken. Besides, I’ve been working on making a better version.“ He smiled at his reflection in the man’s visor. “This one lacks the wow factor.”
Two of the other guards were muttering back and forth, clearly nervous, and Sam stepped in to ask, “Do we have a problem?”
“Err...” One of the indistinguishable soldiers glanced nervously at Lopez, who had stepped through the scanner. "Her arm, Sir. It's been augmented with-"
"You want me to take my arm off?" Lopez laughed, well-acquainted with the multiple warnings her Choco-manufactured appendage had set off. "I guess you really did mean unarmed unarmed.
Sam took control of the situation, his voice calm and even. “We’re all on the same team here. General Midysus requested this meeting himself.” He gestured back towards the door. “I can head up to my office, and he can-”
“It’s fine,” Maria gently interrupted, reaching up to start unfastening her shirt so she could remove the artificial limb. “No me importa, we just need to-”
“No.” Sam’s voice was iron, an infinitesimal amount of the rage that was brewing inside him seeping into that singular syllable. “I care.” His eyes had not left the dragoon who had made the request, and they took a faltering step backwards. “My men brought weapons, which I will punish them for later” -his subordinates grimaced at those words- “but, bad jokes aside, we are allies.” He turned to look at the elevator doors, then asked, “Unless you would like to alter the terms of our agreement?”
In response to his words the elevator doors slid open.
Duong was swept up in the moment, and he leaned in close to one of the dragoon’s. “That’s right. Los-”
“Let’s go,” Sam commanded, and his group straightened, following him through the now open doors.
“Sorry,” the others began as the doors closed.
“I’m not so-” Snake began before being elbowed roughly by Lopez’s metal arm. “Damn it, that hurt.”
“Can we all focus?” Sam's reminder was audibly weary. "Remember why you're here," he said.
"To stop you from killing him," Duong swiftly answered. It was most certainly not a recreational outing they were on.
“Exactly,” the colonel answered, his fists clenched so hard his knuckles were white.
Jabari looked at the group gathered, and muttered, “We should have brought more people.”
“Numbers never stopped him before,” Maria said, leaning in close and using her non-metal shoulder to lean into Sam. “We just need to keep reminding him of the reason he chose peace.”
“Speaking of which,” Choco’s voice cut in over the comm’s channel, “guess how many kids threw up on the bumper cars?”
-------------------------------------
Haruki Sasaki stood in front of a large cartoonish castle, talking with several members of the park staff. They were gathered on a wide drawbridge over a moat, in which many waterfowl of different colours and sizes swam. The crenellated wall was tall, boasting minarets at all four corners, and an impressive keep at the centre. Flags and banners of an eye-searing myriad of hues flapped colourfully in the breeze. As the wind slowed down, the colours suddenly shifted, becoming an even mix of red and blue. It was historically inaccurate, strategically flawed, and the children had all loved it.
“All of the suits are working correctly?” the tailored lawyer asked, maintaining fixed eye contact with a pale and perspiring park worker in an orange jumpsuit. “I want them to enjoy this more than they did the bumper cars.”
“The enjoyment comes from the acceleration, and sudden deceleration,” the sweaty lead park engineer began. “It is very fine tuned, and the intra-species variation in tolerances is something we need to work on.”
“Kids get sick.” A junior worker shrugged off the issue. “That’s why we have the cleaner bots, and disinfectant hoses.”
“Brian… we’ve talked about this,” the lead engineer warned her underling. “If a Gr’darian was to vomit on a Peil, during their mating season, what would happen?”
“Errr..” Brian paused, having no idea what the answer might be. “Failed mating season?” he guessed.
“No!?” Her angry response contained both shock at his flippancy, and incense at his poor knowledge base. “How many times have I told you to study the secretions of the gelatinous races? Combining those two xeno bodily fluids would create chlorine gas, do I have to remind you why that is a bad thing?” Barry hung his head in shame, his long blonde hair covering his increasingly red face. “My apologies, Sir,” the lead engineer said as she returned her attention to the man in the immaculate black suit. She held up her thumb and forefinger with the slenderest of gaps between them. "I am this close -- this close! -- to shipping him back to Disneymoon seven. A few cycles of repairing the Star Wars Lightsaber Academy animatronics would serve him right.”
“We don’t have either of those species present, Ms. Bizhan,” the lawyer was relieved to point out, feeling a small hint of sympathy for the now cowering Brian. “And we are getting a lot of useful information, which is the purpose of this park.”
“Most definitely.” The head engineer nodded emphatically, adding, “And please, call me Fariba.” She pulled a small tablet from a large pocket on her leg, quickly skimming her notes. “In addition to the expected biology-based observations, we've definitely found several potentially lucrative markets to expand into.”
Haruki nodded. “The Triumvirate will find a way to make you their prey,” he murmured. “Physically or economically.”
“Preferably the latter,” Fariba said with a well-practised smile. “But we must know our enemies better than we know our friends, even if we don’t know which of them will choose which path.” She tapped her tablet once more. “They were all shocked that we could manufacture inertial dampeners small enough to fit in the bumper cars, so we can open up a lot of trade with that minor technology.” She used her thumb to point over her shoulder without looking back. “With those we deem our friends, of course. Helping them get a step ahead of those who choose to be more resistant.”
“Resistance is futile,” Brian added with a grin, having spent an entire summer assembling Borg animatronics for a Trekkie battle arena experience.
“Ignore him,” Fariba quickly said, flapping a hand behind her back to shoo the junior engineer away. “I can assure you, the full dive VR suits are calibrated to the lowest tolerance levels known for each species.” Her sweet smile was pasted onto her face once more. “You will have nothing but positive things to report to Mr Jakobs, I assure you.”
“Of course,” Haruki nodded, realising all eyes were on him, and they were afraid. “I take responsibility for the earlier incident, I should not have allowed them to follow a Britney diet.” He saw them visibly relax, and continued, “I will make sure to monitor their food intake more carefully.” He stepped to one side, and began walking into the castle, giving a polite bow of his head. “I’ll go to the observation room, and see how they’re getting on.”
“They’re still being scanned,” the head engineer answered swiftly, wanting to prove her usefulness. “The match will begin once they’re all ready.”
“Fine, fine,” the lawyer replied, waving over his shoulder as he left them standing on the drawbridge. His swift stride carried him through the portcullis, and away from the engineers.
Fariba let out a huge sigh of relief, and she sagged like a deflated balloon animal found a week after a birthday party. This physical response was soundlessly mirrored throughout the group, except for their newest member. The head engineer rounded on Brian, glaring furiously. “What the hell were you thinking?” she demanded. “You don’t make jokes around people like that!”
“Lawyers?” the slightly slower member of the group innocently asked.
“No. Not lawyers,” Fariba replied sarcastically, waving her hand yet again and dismissing the rest of her team. “Well actually, you shouldn’t make jokes around the Triumvirate lawyers either, but especially not around that lawyer.” She leaned in close, and lowered her voice to barely a whisper. “You served?” she asked, although his presence here meant the answer was a foregone conclusion.
“Thirty-Seventh Avionic Engineer Battalion,” he rattled off his unit immediately, standing a little straighter. “Assigned the Illustrious, maintaining the X-7 Raptors, and the old Higgins Orbital Landers.”
“Well even a wrench bender from Ol’Lusty should have heard of the War Rats.” She eyed his youthful face, waiting for the moment things fell into place.
“Pfft,” he derisively scoffed, rolling his eyes. “It may be that I was sent to requisition clear black paint, and I went without question. I might also have spent two hours at the quartermaster's station when I was ordered by the rest of my team to requisition a Long Stand." He shook his shaggy blonde head in disbelief at his earlier naivety. "But, I never fell for those stories." His claim was punctuated with a guffaw of contempt. "Pure propaganda, to keep the systems in line. There's no way that even half the shit they're supposed to have done could be true.”
Fariba’s eyes were wide. Her mouth opened and closed several times as she stared into the stupidity of his youth. “Why don’t you go home for the day,” she gently instructed him, deciding that someone who could stand next to a shark, and not see its teeth, was not a person who should be around apex predators.
—-----------------------------
“It tickles,” Fah’Zi squeaked as he walked through the full body scanner.
“It’s reading your skeletal and muscular structure, and mapping your neural paths,” Penny explained. “Completely harmless, and necessary for the synapse translators to perform correctly.”
“And we just lie in the pods,” Pu’Sha hesitantly asked, looking over to the devices plugged into the wall. “And then we’ll be in the game?”
“Exactly.” The tower assistant was pleased they were paying attention.
There was a vibration felt in everyone’s bones, and Britney replied to Ung, “You’re not allowed to have them at home.”
“That’s right.” Though Penny hadn’t understood the question, the response made the enquiry clear. “Full-dive VR is heavily restricted, due to its highly addictive nature.” Always keen to add context to a rule, so that it was seen as protective rather than punishing, she elaborated; “A long time ago there was a group called the Neo-Utopian Transitioners, who believed humanity’s future was inside the machine. They fully embraced the virtual world, leaving behind automated systems to take care of the world around them." She took a deep breath, rapidly deciding on the best way to end the tale for these school children. "It... didn't end well. To prevent any future mishaps, the Triumvirate set up a strict regulatory body.”
“This thing’s dangerous?” Inaue asked. The small red Yaou was prodding the machine with his prehensile tail. “And you want us to get in there?”
“The machines are perfectly safe,” Britney replied. Choco had told her all about the N.U.T.’s, when he showed her his highly illegal home VR setup. “They just took it too far. Hooked themselves up to life-support systems, and fully lived in their own world.” She smirked as only a child about to reveal a disgusting factoid could. “Even had tubes to remove-”
“Nobody needs all the details,” Penny interrupted.
“I do,” Fah’Zi insisted.
“Fine,” the mischievous young girl relented, skipping the poop-shoot joke for Penny's sake even though the gag was one of Choco's favourites. "Everything worked fine for a long time, and eventually people stopped going round to check on them.”
“Unfortunately,” Penny interjected, once again taking over the narration of this tragic tale, “with everyone in their own world, nobody was performing basic maintenance. The bioreactor tasked with producing many of their key proteins had been running for decades without issue, but a forced update added advertisements, as well as something called a Captcha to stop them and run the program as intended. There was nobody to select which squares contained traffic lights, and so the bioreactor was effectively disabled.”
“I don’t understand many of the things you just said,” Mike249 said, putting into words what was on the mind of all of the students present.
“They starved while pigging out on imaginary food,” Britney bluntly blurted out, as if this was the worst thing imaginable. “Inside their utopia people started going crazy, then vanishing.”
“Prolonged life in VR requires a medical team to bring you out,” the older human explained. “So they were stuck. Unable to escape. Not knowing why their friends, and family, were acting increasingly bizarrely.”
“What the j’rak?” the green-skinned Zilithian, Todd, exclaimed, looking at the pod and then to the humans who were now suggesting they enter this device for fun.
“Humans have to eat very regularly,” Pu’Sha explained to the newer members of their group who had not spent a great deal of time around Britney. “Without food they become less rational, and aggressive. They even have a special word, hangry, and you don’t want to deal with a hangry human.” She spoke with a very serious tone, as if this single piece of advice was a vital life lesson. Finally, with even greater emphasis, she added, “Always keep your human adequately fed.”
“I’m not a pet,” Britney argued. Realising the advice actually worked in her favour she also added, “But, it’s not a bad rule.”
“So, what happened to the V.R. people,” Mike249 asked, a trembling in his voice accompanied the sagging of his worried antennae. “Were they rescued?”
“Unfortunately not,” Penny gently informed him. “It was actually many years before anyone even noticed.”
“Years?” Aekara whimpered.
“How did nobody notice,” Fah’Zi asked incredulously, thinking practically about dead bodies. “Wouldn’t they notice the smell?”
“People died,” the tufty-tailed Emsalio, Li Gorblek, began. “And nobody noticed?” She seemed angry on behalf of these forgotten strangers of another race. “How many?”
“Seventeen billion,” Haruki answered her, as he entered the room. “They had dedicated their entire world to their Neo-Utopia.” He lowered his voice, to make sure they were listening. “Starvation does strange things to our people. Even our brain chemistry alters, and this eventually disconnected them from their VR… forcibly. The shock of reality was enough to kill the lucky ones. The unlucky ones were trapped in their withered, dying bodies. Locked in their pods until they died. Rejecting the real world, and those who lived in it, meant that there was nobody to save them. There’s an important lesson for all of you.”
“Don’t get in that thing,” Inaue guessed, retracting their red tail from the pod it had been prodding.
“Everything in moderation,” Aekara murmured.
“Have a back-up protein thingy,” Fah’Zi said, his hand raised excitedly, hoping to get praise from his senior Sirius comrade.
Britney repeated the mantra Choco had drummed into her as he recounted the story in gruesome detail. “Don’t allow updates on essential equipment without a qualified engineer present. Oh, and VR lovin’ ain’t real lovin’.” She quoted her Erinal teacher directly.
“Not sure that last part is relevant,” Penny said, her cheeks flushing red. “Anyway…” She raised the lid on the first VR pod. “Who’s going first?”
All of the students took a step back, except for two. Britney immediately leapt into the pod. Ung also moved towards the next pod, having a burning passion for human video games.
“Come on,” the energetic blonde human encouraged. “You’re not scared are you?” Her taunts were enough to get Fah’Zi and Li to start moving.
Pu’Sha looked over to where the human in the suit was observing them, and she sighed. Scary stories and indulgent food aside, the humans would never put them in danger. “Fine,” she said, stepping forward. “Come on, Mike249,” she called, waving him to the pod beside hers. “And you, Aekara.” The Verg was already clambering inside her pod when she looked at the nervous newcomers. “You scared to do something the Bubbles are doing?” she asked, taking a cue from Britney in provoking them.
“Never,” the large grey Runuck – Fraskar – grunted, taking a cautious step forward. He turned and glared at the others from the non-bubble classes. “Get in, let’s put them in their place.”
“Oh?” Britney’s eyes glinted happily. “You want to play teams?” She smiled happily. “Fine by me. Six vs six. O.G.’s against Newbies.”
“If you include Ung, there are seven of us,” Mike249 politely corrected his fearless, if forgetful, leader. “Pu’Sha, Aekara, Fah’Zi, Kenra, you and I.” He held up a claw for each name, demonstrating to the human how that added up. “I could join the others? I am always happy to make new friends.”
“Fine,” the human agreed, though she was annoyed to have lost one of her teammates.
There came a high level vibration, accompanied by thunderous drumming; Ung was clapping her hands excitedly. She was on Britney's team! The vibrations continued as the Da descended a reinforced set of stairs and clambered into an enlarged pod that had been sunk into the ground.
The small human listened carefully to her guildmate, then shook her head. "No, this is definitely not a friendly match," the O.G. leader said. Her eyes locked on to Li's fierce gaze and held steady.
—------------------------------
​
Next

For some context:
He and I have been married 3 years. Moved in together six months into the marriage. SO decided to bring in brother in law (who is 37, SO and I are 32) with him when we moved into our current house 2.5 years ago. Bil had been living with him after he lost his job, so it was logical he would come I guess, but SO never said a word about bringing him. Not to the landlady when we signed our lease and she specifically asked if anyone else will be living, not to me. When I found out through his mother and called him out for not telling me, he basically gaslit me for not asking and brought up other instances where I hadn't told him something (I once went to the dermatologist for skin care routine when we were married but still long distance and didn't tell him).
Since then things have not been great between us. When things are good, he's affectionate, loving, supportive of my interests and ambitions. But bil living with us has caused immense privacy issues which husband doesn't seem to understand. Bil pays no bills and this was also not discussed with me. But SO is rarely receptive to criticism. If I ever bring up an issue related to him, he will either pretend it's a non issue or deflect blame like the example in the first para. Rarely, if ever any apology.
Cut to yesterday. Mil has also been living with us for the last two months and she will be here another four months. It's caused so many space issues since she sleeps in the living room next to the dining table. I like working in the living room at night for some peace and quiet but make sure to turn off the light when she's sleeping. I just work in the dark but I'm far enough from her that the laptop light doesn't bother her.
I've been working late nights often recently because of hectic schedule. Husband asks me every day to work in the bedroom, but I tell him I prefer living room. Yesterday he told me the same thing except in a very enforcing way. And then took away my work laptop and wouldn't return it. I kept warning him to give it back saying I have work and it's unacceptable. I climbed towards him to grab it. Wouldn't give it. I started yelling that I have important deliverables and I need it. Wouldn't give it and held my wrist very tightly and called my name in a warning tone. I screamed to him that he was hurting me. This went on for awhile with me trying to take my laptop back..by now he had closed it so I might have lost unsaved work and I was making a presentation. Once when I was climbing over him trying to grab my laptop from him, he pushed me away with his leg on my waist. I got so angry I started saying the meanest things to him and I told him it's over between us. He said mean things back. He riled me up so much with the things he said I hit his arm.
He finally gave my laptop back but not before saying my working in the living room is a disturbance to his mother, although I specifically mentioned that I ensure the light is off and I just need to be alone when I work.
He clearly told his mother everything and made himself the victim. But I'm just shaken.

From bloomberg, there is excellent graphics in the article I would recommend viewing: https://www.bloomberg.com/graphics/2023-svb-exposed-risks-banks/?srnd=premium#xj4y7vzkg

The investment losses that helped take down Silicon Valley Bank are a problem, to one degree or another, across the US financial system. In total, the industry ended last year with $620 billion of unrealized losses on its books from investments in low-yielding bonds.
For most banks, the issue is manageable.
Bonds held in investment books represented less than a quarter of the banking system’s $23.6 trillion of assets in December, and unlike SVB, lenders usually have a wide array of depositors who are unlikely to all need money around the same time. For the biggest banks, the risks are even smaller. They are perceived as too big to fail. What’s more, the recent rally in the Treasury bond market — sparked, ironically, by the jitters about the health of the banking industry — is helping to shrink the $620 billion of paper losses. (In the coming weeks, banks will start to post first-quarter data.) Banks’ Equity Could Take Hit If Paper Losses Had to Be Realized For most banks, unrealized losses are a manageable problem. But investors and depositors remain jittery about lenders sitting on huge piles of money-losing bonds
And yet as depositors keep gradually withdrawing their money and shifting it into money market funds and other investments, banks are facing a squeeze. They’re being pressed to pay more for funding while their revenue is limited by the investments they made in low-yielding bonds during the pandemic. That in turn could curb their ability to lend to consumers and businesses, slowing the economy.
“They’re paying more for deposits, and their earnings on bonds are fixed,” said Stan August, a retired bank examiner for the Federal Reserve Bank of Richmond and a former bond analyst at Bank of America. “That’s where the squeeze is.”
When the pandemic hit, and the Federal Reserve pushed down rates once again by pumping unprecedented amounts of cash into the economy, many banks loaded up on long-term government and mortgage-backed bonds. There were some Treasury notes that promised to pay annual interest of just 0.6% over 10 years.
Then inflation surged and the Fed started urgently driving up interest rates. The value of those bonds plunged, because who would want to buy an old bond paying 0.6% interest when new ones were suddenly paying more than 3%?
Losses on bonds are a risk whenever rates go up, but banks’ holdings were bigger than usual in 2022. All that cash the Fed and the government pushed into the economy quickly found its way into the banking system, giving lenders trillions of dollars to invest. SVB’s domestic deposits, for instance, rose more than 150% from the end of March 2020 through the end of 2022.
Rising deposits on their own don’t necessarily represent a problem for banks. For SVB, they spelled trouble in part because its clients tended to keep large balances at the bank as a condition for receiving services like lines of credit.
That translated to a high percentage of customers’ deposits being bigger than US deposit insurance limits. Clients with high balances at a bank are often skittish about the safety of their funds. and more likely to withdraw money fast at signs of trouble.
There were at least three data points for SVB that worried depositors: the speed at which the bank’s deposits had grown, the high percentage of uninsured deposits it had, and the magnitude of losses relative to its equity. These factors helped create a perfect storm.
But even for banks that dodge the storm, bond losses are a problem. A large part of banks’ investment portfolios use an accounting method called “held to maturity” that ensures the firms don’t have to record any losses, or any hits to their balance sheets, from the declining value of their bonds. But they also have to hold onto the bonds until they mature. Banks Locked Up Trillions in Long-Term Investments Total holdings, at amortized cost, in held-to-maturity securities for banks with at least $25 billion in assets as of Q4 2022
As banks’ deposits started to grow during the pandemic, they initially plowed more money into bonds using a method of accounting called “available for sale.” For these securities, changes in the value of the bonds would affect their balance sheets but not their income statements. That accounting method can force banks to boost their capital levels, though, if their losses get too high.
In 2021, a growing group of banks believed the Fed would soon begin raising interest rates and began switching to counting more of their bonds as held-to-maturity. The biggest banks added about $1.7 trillion of the bonds to their books over the two years ended in December. In some cases, they switched bonds over from one accounting treatment to the other. In other cases, they just stopped buying new available-for-sale securities and only added to their held-to-maturity books.
Initially it worked pretty well. Profits ballooned. The US banking system’s return on equity, a measure of profitability, averaged 12.2% in 2021, the highest since 2006.
But now that inflation and rate hikes have come, banks have suddenly been finding themselves pressured from two sides. Higher interest rates forced banks to pay more money to win deposits, with average one-year CD rates rising to about 2.7% by March, according to DepositAccounts, from 0.35% in May 2022. Consumers and companies have been taking more of their money out of banks and investing it in assets like government bonds. Deposits in commercial banks fell last year for the first time since 1948, according to the FDIC. The worst pain here is for community and regional banks, which lost $109 billion of deposits in the week ended March 15, while the biggest banks have been luring funds.
Meanwhile, the value of banks’ bond holdings plunged on paper too. The $620 billion of unrealized losses in the system at the end of 2022 were for available-for-sale and held-to-maturity securities.
The combination of surging interest rates, high investment losses and heavy deposit outflows is new for most investors and executives in the banking industry. To many, this feels like uncharted territory.
“I have covered this industry for 20 years plus and I have never seen anything like this,” said Ania Aldrich, an investment principal at Cambiar Investors. “In all the stress testing we have done for at least the largest banks have never stressed for anything like this.”
Comments from banks
Charles Schwab Bank & Charles Schwab Premier Bank
“Focusing attention on ‘unrealized losses’ in our held-to-maturity (HTM) portfolio is very misleading. These ‘paper losses’ are unrealized and would only be realized if we had to sell those securities. The profile of our depositors is very different from regional banks. Given our significant access to sources of liquidity, there is a near-zero chance we’d need to sell any of our HTM portfolio prior to maturity. That would be akin to assuming a large retail bank would sell a substantial portion of its loan portfolio... Client deposits may move, but they are not leaving the firm. As is the case in every cycle, clients make choices about where to best allocate their assets. As interest rates have increased over the last year, our clients have made choices to reallocate assets within their Schwab portfolios, to reflect their preferences in this market. And in fact, we have actively encouraged them to do so. The important point is that those allocation decisions result in the assets staying at Schwab. Despite the events of the last two weeks, we have not seen any meaningful change in client behavior regarding their cash… Comparing unrealized losses across firms with different business models can be misleading. Schwab Bank has a different business model than traditional banks. Our deposits come from transactional cash in clients’ brokerage accounts that is swept to our banks. We use about 10% of that cash to fund loans to our existing clients and with the remaining 90%, we buy securities – the vast majority of which are backed by the U.S. Government. With rates moving up, the fair value of all fixed rate assets — loans or securities — has gone down. But given that our securities are very high quality, we fully expect our securities to reach par at maturity, which means the unrealized ‘paper’ losses will decrease over time. Because a much higher percentage of our assets are securities — and traditional bank loans are not disclosed the same way — our paper losses may appear larger than those of traditional banks. But that assessment lacks the appropriate context. In reality, our portfolio has less credit risk and is actually less sensitive to changes in interest rates than many large banks,” Co-Chairmen Charles Schwab and Walt Bettinger said in a statement.
First National Bank of Pennsylvania
“Due to FNB’s conservative balance sheet and interest rate risk management leading into this higher rate environment, the duration and fair value marks of our AFS and HTM portfolios were more favorable than others in the industry. Even after fully incorporating these marks into our Common Equity Tier 1 Ratio, we would remain well capitalized. In addition, FNB has a stable and granular deposit base and maintains a strong liquidity position with uninsured deposits excluding fully collateralized balances at only 27% and has available funding sources in excess of those balances,” CEO Vincent J. Delie, Jr. said in a statement.
Prosperity Bank
“Prosperity Bank has a fortress balance sheet that is well suited for times like this. In fact, we were a source of strength in the 80’s and 2008, participating in six FDIC assisted transactions. We are a traditional community bank with a diverse loan portfolio and a granular deposit base amongst the many communities that we are in. We have close to 800,000 deposit accounts with an average balance of $36,000, our uninsured and uncollateralized deposits only make up 32% of our total deposits, we have access to large amounts of liquidity, and we are extremely well capitalized. We maintain higher tangible common equity ratios than many of the large money center banks and remain well capitalized even if you include any unrealized losses in the held-to-maturity portfolio. It has been our pleasure to serve the communities we are in and help our customers navigate and understand all that is happening in the banking markets,’’ Cullen Zalman, senior vice president for banking and corporate activities at Prosperity Bank, said in a statement.
USAA Federal Savings Bank
“USAA is a fundamentally different bank than those that have struggled over the past few weeks. Our bank is consumer based, 93% of deposits are within the applicable FDIC insurance limits, and we have access to substantial liquidity to serve the needs of our members. USAA FSB also goes through rigorous stress testing to help us best support our members. Focusing on any single asset class is misguided, given additional ways to evaluate bank balance sheets, like net interest trends, which highlight the efficiencies or inefficiencies across a bank’s entire balance sheet. The degree of changes in USAA’s unrealized bond holdings is a reflection of a relatively low loan-to-deposit ratio, which means investments are a larger part of our balance sheet and accounting value fluctuations are more noticeable. But not all banks and not all investment portfolios are the same. Unrealized bond losses do not create excess risk in institutions with a stable base of customers, a strong capital position, the ability to hold such bonds to maturity and access to the liquidity necessary to meet their depositors’ and borrowers’ needs.” First-Citizens Bank & Trust Co.
“First Citizens is a well-capitalized bank, and our post-acquisition capital ratios remain within or above our target ranges. In addition, the transaction is structured to maintain our position of strength with ample liquidity and credit loss protections. Our liquidity remains strong and stable driven by conservatively managed investment portfolio, and it is enhanced by this transaction.” First-Citizens Bank & Trust Co. acquired Silicon Valley Bank from the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp., though the sale did not include $90 billion in securities and other assets. Huntington National Bank
“Per the company’s 10K, 68% of deposits at Huntington are insured / 32% are uninsured as of December 31, 2022. This is the lowest % of uninsured deposits among all US based publicly traded banks with $50bn+ in deposits (excluding those classified primarily as card issuers). Huntington has an active hedging program for securities, and total FV marks net of hedges for all securities are in line with peers.”
Northern Trust Co.
“Northern Trust is a global provider of wealth management, asset servicing, asset management and banking to corporations, institutions, and individuals. Northern Trust has offices in the United States as well as 23 locations in Canada, Europe, the Middle East and the Asia-Pacific region… Our clients leave large amounts of deposits with us not because we offer higher rates, but because they have significant payment activity. Over 60% of our institutional deposits are considered operational by regulatory standards… Northern Trust’s business model focuses on two core markets: institutions and wealthy individuals/families. These have been our historic strengths for generations. Retail banking represents a small percentage of our client base and an even smaller percentage of our assets on deposit, which in part accounts for the low percentage of insured deposits when compared with other banks that have significantly larger retail portfolios. Northern Trust is a Category II institution under the Federal Reserve’s regulatory framework. As a result, we are the only non G-SIB required to do daily liquidity testing and report unrealized losses in regulatory capital reporting. We consistently are assigned the highest long-term credit rating of any comparable U.S. institution. Northern Trust maintains a high-quality securities portfolio. Highly liquid assets constitute 62% of total client deposits as of Dec. 31, 2022. 81% of Northern Trust’s securities portfolio is composed of U.S. Treasury, government sponsored agency and triple-A rated securities. Regarding unrealized, mark-to-market HTM investment security losses as a percentage of tangible equity, it is important to note that our balance sheet composition has a lower proportion of loans, and thus our investment securities portfolio will be larger on both an absolute and percentage basis than banks with similar asset sizes.”
Banks that declined to comment:
Bank of America, First Republic Bank, JPMorgan Chase Bank, Truist Bank, US Bank, Valley National Bank and Wells Fargo Bank Banks that didn’t respond to requests for comment or did not have immediate comment when reached:
Associated Bank, City National Bank, Manufacturers & Traders Trust Co., Santander Bank, Signature Bank, Simmons Bank, State Street Bank & Trust Co., UBS Bank USA and Webster Bank

All,
I'm looking to replace the thermostat in my 2012 JK, as I have the P0128 code indicating a thermostat issue.. And there's a nationwide parts shortage on the OEM housing. The only replacement I've found around me is Napa's "OE" housing. Has anyone tried one of these? It's like $22 so it's not the end of the world if it can't clear the engine code, but preferably I don't want to have to swap thermostats over and over again on the jeep if I can help it.
​
If you have any other brands/specs outside of the OEM, that would be helpful too..

Hey everyone! Looking for a cash back or travel rewards credit card. I am undecided because I know I will be traveling for one month and I do not travel much (2-3 times a year). I do not know if I should keep using my first/current credit card for cash back, focus on a new travel rewards card, or something else (super new into this).
CREDIT PROFILE * Current credit cards you are the primary account holder of: BOA Customized Cash Rewards, $3,700, Aug 14, 2014 - 3% category mainly for Online Shopping or Dining * FICO Scores with source: TransUnion 801 * Oldest credit card account age with you as primary name on the account: 9+ years * Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 6 months: 0 * Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 12 months: 0 * Number of personal credit cards approved for in the past 24 months: 0 * Annual income $: $100k CATEGORIES * OK with category-specific cards?: Yes * OK with rotating category cards?: Yes but I don’t purchase from Amazon * Estimate average monthly spend in the categories below. Only include what you can pay by credit card. - Dining $: 150 - Groceries $: $200 - Gas $: 50 - Travel $: 0 - Shopping/Entertainment $: 100 * Do you plan on using this card abroad for a significant length of time: Extended travel (1 month traveling and some more). * Any other categories (examples: phone/internet, insurance) or stores (example: Amazon) with significant, regular credit card spend (the more you specify, the better): $250 (cable), $100 (subscriptions like Netflix, Spotify, etc.) MEMBERSHIPS & SUBSCRIPTIONS * Current member of Chase, US Bank or any other big bank?: Bank of America * Active US military?: No * Are you open to Business Cards?: No PURPOSE * What's the purpose of your next card (choose ONE)?: Cash back or travel rewards - If you answered "travel rewards", do you have a preferred airline and/or hotel chain? Southwest, Air Canada, United * Do you have any cards you've been looking at? Chase Freedom Family, Chase Sapphire Preferred or Capital One Venture Rewards

Happened a while ago at a previous employer, just reminded by a recent story.
I often presented my desktop in working sessions, and due to "presentation mode" - a form of "do not disturb" - I would not be notified of new chat messages.
There were a couple situations where my manager and a couple others, who rarely sent messages, we're unable to reach me for something urgent.
Since there was a setting to allow messages from some users to bypass "do not disturb", this seemed like the perfect use case, so I enabled this for my manager and a couple others. That was the FU. It actually helped me out a few times, and caused no issues... until it did.
I had a call to discuss something privately with my manager, agreed on next steps, and was told not to tell anyone else until they could discuss with a couple others. I'm big on transparency and this didn't sit right with me, but it wasn't my company so, "okay."
During my next call I was sharing my screen and demoing something to several coworkers when I receive a message from my manager. Because I had set it to allow him to bypass "do not disturb" there is a pop-up notification that says essentially: "Remember to send HR your resignation letter."
I instinctively closed it but heard a collective gasp from members of my audience. I said, "well, that happened.." as someone asked, "what? What just happened?" and another person tried to say words to explain but fell short due to shock as the question was repeated. Clearly some people knew, so the only way to reduce the disclosure was to explain and tell them my manager had said not to tell. So obviously they told everyone, but that meant fewer people I had to tell which was ok. I miss working with most of them and stay in touch.
TL;DR - Manager told me not to share my pending resignation, and in less than an hour they accidentally shared it instead .. because of my chat preference.

Height: 5'7
Age: 16
Backstory: Growing up in Flowriden, Luna's life was harsher before meeting the other Chosen. Darkness users face quite a bit of scrutiny as have gained the stigma of being the ones to always become evil. While it's common, it's not the same for every person that had darkness as their power. On top of being a Chosen, Luna kept this part of her hidden despite her birth being on television, she actively kept telling others that asked her that she was not a Chosen.
She wasn't born in Flowriden but she moved into the state when she was barely one year old. Her father wasn't the best, in fact, he was kind of a closeted racist. Luna never agreed with that ideology. Her mother kept taking night jobs so Luna barely got to see her unless she wants to pull an all-nighter.
All of that changed when she arrived in middle school, sharing certain classes with two other Chosen, Volt and Blu. Blu easily caught on that she was hiding that she was a Chosen and just hid that away. Blu breaking down her walls is what got the main Trio together. With Volt as the comedy and muscle, Blu as the leader and creative thinker, and Luna as the heart and clutch player the Trio would be nearly unstoppable when they started their journey to save the world with all they could.
Luna became a vital asset in the Trio, like family. After a couple of years Luna, Volt, and Blu came into contact with an alternate version of Blu that called himself "A Visitor." The Visitor told them about Surge, a multiversal threat who could spread his alternate selves to destroy countless universes along the Multiversal Helix Spiral. By now you know the rest. Trained by helping other universes until the day they met Surge for real, got their asses kicked, Visitor saved all 3 of them, retreat to their home universe to heal up and think of a better strategy, Uncreative was a sore loser, and went to fight Surge by himself, and vanished.
When Luna found out, she had a hard time comprehending why Uncreative would go on his own like that. She knew he usually isn't so impulsive but that mistake cost him. She called all the people she knew could help track down Uncreative, that being Volt, [Pink], and [Normal.] What's left is to put a plan into action and hopefully reach Uncreative from where [Pink] could last sense him before going off the grid. She hopes that they can pull this off, but she refuses to have another one of the Chosen fall and not be able to help.
Appearance: Luna has long black hair that extends down to the middle of her back. She wears a type of black long sleeve crop top (exactly like the ones that Gardenia from Pokémon has) that she puts a regular-size shirt over because she's slightly embarrassed about her belly being shown in public. And she wears track shoes with some tight, but surprisingly flexible, jeans that she tucks her shirt into.
Fighting style: Luna fights with speed and prefers to fight from long range. While she is more than capable of fighting up close with her quick movements, her fighting style revolves around projectiles, soul manipulation, and summons and steering clear of things that could hit her.
Abilities:

• Being a Chosen
• Superhuman strength, speed, and durability
• Dark energy/ Darkness creation and manipulation (Darkness is one of if not THE most versatile power to have if used right. Some of those powers include...)
• Flight (sprouts dragon wings and tail)
• Eldritch voice mimicking
• Telepathy
• Intangibility/phasing (she can make herself, objects, and other people intangible)
• Shapeshifting to a certain extent (she doesn't use it to disguise herself as other people but can shrink, expand and add things onto certain appendages like spikes to her tail)
• Extendable living hair
• Soul absorption/power stealing (she can steal people's/ creature's souls and use their power for herself)
• Portal creation (She's created portals to wherever she likes. Even sent a bomb that would have destroyed a continent to Segil, their version of Venus, which blew up and sent the planet on a course to die in the Sun)
• Possession
• Monster Summoning (too many to list)
• Reality Warping (while used to leave her universe, she can use it for other purposes like amply her voice for Sonic screaming, having a watered-down version of telekinesis, traveling through shadows, causing paranormal activities, gravity manipulation, etc.)
• Soul connect / health drain (she has a move where she attaches an invisible like to everyone but her that can let her drain the health of others or let her drain her health and give it to someone else)
• Dark variations of elements (Dark fire, dark lightning, dark ice, and that's it)
• Super / Eldritch form (In this form she completely lets any suppression she had left inside run wild and loose. She becomes a giant version of herself that turns herself and the world completely black and white, while her whole body turns into the size of a small country. Luna can create massive black holes, randomly erase people instantly, create galaxy-sized shockwaves, cause insanity, travel the universe in a bit under 3 minutes, connect and travel to other surrounding universes, erase people from existence, shape-shifting, clones, shoot planet-sized lasers, warp reality even more, and destroy universes without even being physically present. And if she's in the one you're in, may God help you.)

Extra tidbits:

• If she ever gets mad, eyes sprout under her hair
  
• Eventually helped change her father's perspective on race to not make him racist anymore
  
• Bisexual but prefers males
  
• Is called the "clutch player" from how many times she saved the other 2 from certain danger
  
• Counted around 5000 monsters she absorbed, but only uses around 60 of them
  
• Has a food allergy to shellfish
  

Clearing out the old hardware to make room for the new. Everything has been tested and is in working order. I have several confirmed trades here and on homelabsales
I'm in Queens/NYC 11372 and prefer local cash. Willing to combine. Wiling to entertain reasonable offers. I am willing to ship, but there are some odd sizes that we'll have to calculate at cost.
Comment before DM'ing me. No chats.images/timestamps: link

• i5-9600K + Asus Rog Z390E - $220 local (+free Scythe Cooler local only)/ can be shipped*The ATX board and the chip come as a pair. Motherboard box, manual, and some stickers included. There is one screw missing from the bottom NVME cover. I'll throw in the Scythe cooler for locals only.
• OLOy 32GB 2x16GB DDR4 3200 (PC4 25600) $40 local / can be shipped*Pulled from a working system. Verified and tested with multiple memtest passes. model: ND4U1632161DJ0DA PENDING / RESERVED
  
• EVGA GTX 1080 Ti FTW3 HYBRID GAMING (11G-P4-6698-KR) - $225 local / can be shipped*I love this GPU! Factory overclocked and has a hybrid water cooler. Can still get 90-100FPS in Warzone at 1440p. Please look at the pics: the cloth sheath is frayed but it is 100% cosmetic
  

* For shipping costs calculate via USPS or UPS zip code 11372, I'll pay for the box.** 30 days return/refunds only if broken, buyer pays return shipping.

So much for a heartwarming reunion, so much for peace. When Keyaruga finally thought about having a moment of rest, Panakea showed up. When he thought nothing would happen for at least a day, he met with his love. And now, it was a red sunset that casted its crimson shadow over Buranikka. On omen of evil, an omen of change.
“Despite everything, she still… remembers me. Remembers us. Norn never forgets, no matter what. The only problem, though, is that she won’t accept me now. She may look like a cute little girl, but she’s also a fully competent warlord, with which we’re on different sides.” The man spoke, standing at the door to the corridor. He carried the white sphere, the one and only thing that could make a breakthrough from the current state. “Only a battle will judge us.” The healer admitted, glancing at the bed. Freia sat there, combing Eve’s hair. Setsuna, in turn, listened while in a handstand.
“Uh-hu-u-uh!” The she-wolf muttered, doing a cartwheel to stand upright. “We will win.” She assured him, sitting on the edge of the bed. Honestly, her smile and words were everything Keyaruga needed not to give in to his angst. The gray-haired girl accepted his pain, and now crawled to Freia to heal the magician with her touch. At least a little bit.
“Certainly.” Keyaruga responded optimistically. He had to. Otherwise, his whole redo would be for nothing. And if having the best strategist in Jioral on Margurth’s side still wasn’t bad enough, he’d end up shackled in Norn’s residence for sure.
No doubt, she’s already prepared a chastity cage for me. Brrr, no way I’m signing up for that.
“Freia, are you alright?” The hero asked, approaching the sorceress. He couldn’t leave yet, even though Tidir had already provided Keyaruga with an isolated room in the attic.
“You shouldn’t worry about me.” The pink-haired girl spoke phlegmatically. She allowed Setsuna to massage her back and shoulders, but inside her soul there was still a skirmish ongoing. She thought of each self-accusation, countered it with numerous excuses, just to realize there was no coming back and fixing what was already done. “Move forward, Keyaru. This thing must become your new weapon. Take it, claim it, and… save my sister. She must’ve been counting on you.” The princess stated, still focused on the black-winged maiden before her. So much evil was caused by her, so many torments had Keyaru suffered. And yet, he forgave her, loud and clear. Now only one thing stood between the girl and her inner peace. Something, only she could attain throughout the long self-reflection. “This orb should’ve been yours from the very beginning.”
“I see. Eve, do you have something to say?” The man deliberately wondered, looking at the queen-to-be, who retained her silence up to that point.
“Hmm… No. Dealing with princesses is your thing. Sorry, I can’t help you with that.” The kokuyoku scion responded, giving the lad a brief look. She thought he was just a calculating cutthroat, someone who’s whole interest resided in violence and sex. Now, that she saw his worries, his inner side, she couldn’t help but find him slightly attractive. Especially after how he stood against Hawkeye. Only… “So… Are you really immortal?”
“I am, birdie. I am.” The Hero of Healing grinned a little. He formed an endearing smile, warm and bright. Alas, underneath it there was only cold. After all, Blade almost killed him, and she was way beneath Organ Trist’s mastery. “Take care, girls. I’ll be back soon.”
“Uh-huh. Setsuna’s waiting.”
Thanks. That’s all I need to hear.
…
“Go in, nura (brother).” The blue-feathered deity uttered, closing the door behind the red-haired man. And so, the man found himself in a dark cramped room, filled with nothing but ages-old dust and stains. He sat behind a small table, looking at the perfectly round object of divine origins. No one could enter without the host’s permission, so Keyaruga was safe from outer distractions.
Brother, huh? You don’t sound too happy saying that, Tidir.
“Ha-a-a…” The man exhaled, rubbed his forehead, and then touched the orb with his right hand. The brand had resonated, bizarre white light erupted from it. Up until now, that was a hard object of unknown properties. Now, the healer knew – the white sphere was actually a solidified chunk of godly energy. After a new hero poured his ambitions into the raw armament’s form, it was ready to morph into whatever its new owner deems fit.
But what would it be? Josephine, for example, wished for a shining gilded sword that would allow her to murder her jailers right after she got it from Flare’s hands. It was bright and decorated, it embodied every wish and aspiration the broken girl kept inside her tormented soul. But despite Ragnarok’s golden, inlayed look, it was crude and unbalanced. But even worse, it was ultimately a crutch for a powerless girl. A lesson – do not wish for something you can get taken away from you.
In Bullet’s case, it was Taslam, the massive magic-spitting cannon. Although not without decorative incrustations of its own, the silver armament was not the primary weapon for the veteran of reconnaissance. After all, the massive black man was not ‘born’ a hero. This was the title he got through research, a few shady deals and the assassination of the previous Hero of Cannon. One could think a weapon of such scale wouldn’t be a spy’s choice. They would be wrong, especially when Bullet draws Taslam’s true form – a small pistol he could hide in his sleeve. A second lesson – do not wish for something to brag with, practicality is always preferable to showing off.
And finally, there was Flare. Her armament was represented by Vanargand, an unbreakable staff, allegedly made from the mythical world tree itself. Its twisted, chaotic, branches around a cold blue orb represented the princess’ dominative nature, but in terms of functionality, it was tuned to amplify all possible elements of her bottomless magic pool, whereas a regular magic staff only worked with one, like her current mystical tool boosted nothing but fire. The last lesson was to have something that amplifies your own innate strength, but is not limited by its primary function.
Keyaruga would only get one chance in his entire life. That’s why he carried the orb with his right hand covered with a green glove. No need to hide the mark from Blade, but still, better safe than sorry.
“I wish I could’ve given it more thought.” The lad lamented, pondering on his promise to Norn. And Hawkeye. The last Champion of Jioral stood between him and the princess. An all-seeing demigod needed to go away. “What I wish… is a tool of vengeance. A means of strength. Something that’d amplify my healing powers. And… a guarantee of true immortality. If I die, my girls would be sad. If I die, what was the point of the redo? If I die… how can I complete my vengeance?”
He lied to Eve. Keyaruga was far from true immortality, and they both knew it. Even after all the body modifications, he still remained a human. Someone, who can get knocked out and murdered with ease, but what’s even more critical, his pain threshold was high, but not limitless. One couldn’t forget about Bloodbringer and her sinister living weapon, after all.
I can kill people with one touch. But can I do it through a full plate armor? Can I heal myself while unconscious? Can I exceed the range of an extended arm? No. No! I have to overcome this! Weapons are tools of murder, and I already have plenty. Think, pray, desire your perfect form. Something for a Hero of Healing.
And so, a clear form started to form inside of Keyaruga’s mind. His passion resonated with the wild streams of primordial hue, the energy took form, and finally, the orb began to form a will of its own.
“THOUGH HATH DESIRETH ME, HERO?” A mighty voice resonated throughout the premise. It belonged to a mighty aged man, although much too distorted to confuse it with a real person.
“Yes, I do! Give me your everything!” The lad exclaimed, feeling winds of magic carve inside his very soul. A thrilling power was only rivaled by the man’s force of will.
“DOTH THOUGH DESIRETH TO SAVE THE WORLD?” The spirit inquired. A question was ritualistically asked to each and every hero. Problem is, all of them had pretty different ideas about how, why, and to what extent the world must be preserved. But to be sure…
“Of course I do! I love this world! I made it! I want to live in it, to have all the fun and happiness! I want to preserve those I love and crush those I hate completely! I want to claim my prize! So… how can I not wish to save this wretched world?”
“ALLOWETH ME TO LEND THY MY STRENGTH.” With that said, the wraith began merging itself to the man. Raw energy began mixing with the healer’s own mana, the hero’s mark resonating with the artifact during the process.
“Good! Now listen to my wish! I want to pierce my foes at range, to be immortal! And I want to be safe! Now take my desired form!”
And so, the chaotic winds began taking form. A Vortex of magical might began swirling around the man’s left arm, as he raised the cracked sphere to the ceiling. What lacked substance began taking mass; what lacked direction, was given focus; what had no form, took the shape of a gruesome gauntlet of pink and blue. It was alive, it had an eye, and it was more, much more than just a piece of armor.
“MY NAME THOU NEVER SHOULD FORGET, GEORGIUS – THOU CALL ME THAT!”
“Forget? How can I? Georgius, my holy armor, my property!” The lad spoke, staring at his gauntlet with clenched teeth, while the divine armament bound itself to the man’s muscles, nerves, and veins. Georgius was much more than just an indestructible chunk of metal, although even that offered much in terms of practicality. No, it was a net, a living spell that now dwelled inside the man’s body and soul.
Keyaruga understood Georgius, and vice-versa. They were both now inseparable entities, one complementing the other. First things first…
“Let’s check its primary feature.” The lad muttered, grabbing a poisoned knife from his right gauntlet. A swing, a stab, and the blade pierced his left biceps. Naturally, right? But the sheet of poisoned metal was pushed out by the extracorporeal power, and no trace of the wound remained. Georgius even mended the fabric of Keyaruga’s shirt.
“Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-a! With that, I’m not gonna die!” The healer scoffed, rolling his armored fingers. The gauntlet didn’t confine his movements; it didn’t even make his hand sweat. The armament wouldn’t even require any attention paid to it, as Georgius safely absorbed the ambient mana and filtered it for its master’s safe usage. It would keep the man alive no matter what.
One would think that it was enough for just some testing of the artifact’s ability to enhance healing and defense, that its offensive capabilities were impossible to probe in an attic, where even a mouse wouldn’t dare to show up. Well, that would be wrong, as the red-eyed lad had already unsheathed his alloyed saber and rested his elbow on the table.
“Ha-ha-a!” Then, he started cutting. Slamming the light curved sword against the powerful limb was a wasted effort, much more so with the gruesome eye keeping track for each and every wound, but Keyaruga proceeded. “MORE-E-E-E!!! DE-E-E-EPER!!! PHA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!” The gargling laugh mixed with slicing and squashing of meat and cleaving of bones above his own elbow resonated with the utmost excitement in the hero’s brain. Strike after strike, he deliberately mutilated his own body just to see what would happen if one manages to cut off his left arm, to lacerate his veins and tendrils. Blood ruptured just to stop in a moment. Wounds reopened right after fading in green mist. And finally, after a whole minute of zealous self-torture, Keyaruga cast away his saber, grabbed his left hand, and ripped it off altogether. All while guffawing murderously. “HA-HA-HA-HA! WHAT WILL YOU DO NOW, GEORGIUS?!!!”
The answer didn’t take long, as right in front of the healer’s eyes, the gauntlet on the severed hand turned into purple dust, along with leather bracers, dangling bloodied cloth and a few throwing needles. All of it returned to where it was supposed to be – on a fresh new left arm. It even was so kind as to erase the crimson stains from all over the man’s body. This kindness didn’t extend to what dripped on his boots from the dismembered arm, though.
“I’m starting to fall in love with you, Georgius!” Keyaruga sneered, unhinged by his own ambiguous commentary. He remained with an extra limb. Of course he used it for more experimentation.
Let’s leave it here, two steps away, and…
The man extended his left arm, focused his will, and called upon his magic. A second and the flesh of the severed arm wriggled in convulsions. Another and it returned to normal… Well, with every bone and tendril mercilessly ruined. Georgius gave the lad so much needed distance, even if it was limited by a bare meter, but no control whatsoever. He would never heal someone with that in his right mind. Holding the arm directly, though, was a completely different story. The touch gave the lad the utmost will over his patients, or victims. But more than anything, all the pain and fear were barred from his psyche. Alas, that wouldn’t allow for copying skills, but nobody forbade the lad from using his right arm. And even if he wanted to use the left one, just a single thought made Georgius completely and utterly disappear. It was still there; ready to come back in an instant.
Fuck, it’s so awesome; I’m getting so hard right now!
…
“…and then I had him poisoned, thrown into the dungeon. I beat him, had him raped, drugged, tortured…
And while Keyaruga enjoyed his new toy, Setsuna was far, far away from having any sort of fun. She listened to Freia, heeded her every word, every description, and every little notion. The two of them sat on the bed, and the she-wolf was furious. It was a rare occasion to see her frown, let alone openly grinding her teeth. Eve had retreated to her room just in time to spare herself from hearing and seeing the worst.
“…after all of that, I really did deserve the fire rod between my legs,” the princess admonished, unable to raise her head. Freia was desperate, but she couldn’t hide the truth any longer. Not after Hawkeye crushed her spirit just by referencing her sins. “What I didn’t deserve, though, is his lov-!”
That was it, Setsuna’s patience had run out, and she grabbed the sorceress by the throat. With the power of both hands, the huntress easily overpowered the magician, she could end her simply by squeezing a little harder, or scratching her carotid artery a little too deep.
“GHHHH!!!” The she-wolf growled, consumed by rage. All those nightmares, all those traumas – it was her fault, she did it to him, she…
She didn’t even struggle.
“…you… YOU!!!” The huntress’ grip had weakened, she couldn’t go on like that, her hands slipped, but the fury didn’t go anywhere.
“Kha-kha-kha-a… A-a-a… Haa… Kha…” Freia’s face was morbidly red, her breath was rugged, and even her eyes looked like they would pop out of their sockets every second now. “Kha-a… Se… tty…” But even in that sorry state, the girl never raised a hand against her friend. One swing, and the huntress would be burned by flames, scourged by a lightning, her brain would pop out on the edge of a sharp flying icicle… And yet, despite all of those possibilities, the heroine insisted on calling her possible murderer… by a friendly pet name.
“GRRR! What?!” She roared, still unsure what to do with the pink-haired girl. She was a part of their family, their pack… And someone they would be better off without. Right? Alas, whether that was true or not, Freia herself shared that ridiculous thought.
“Before you kill me… Promise me one thing.” The princess all but demanded. Her voice was faint, but there was power, a true regal authority in it. “Promise, you’d never leave him! Keyaruga… I don’t think he believes anyone can love him! Promise me you’ll take care of Evy and Norn! They have nothing to do with it! Promise…”
“No.” But Setsuna refused.
“B-but why?”
“Because Setsuna…”
…
Keyaruga returned. He pushed the door open and entered the room. His fervor wasn’t that high ever since the lad successfully broken the chain Flare put him on, ever since he burned the vile arrogant witch from the inside.
“Freia! Setsuna! Let’s fuck!” The hero yelled, as his eyes rolled all over the place. There was passion, there was zeal, and, most importantly…
“Haa… Set… ty!..” …his feelings were shared here, two naked girls, with one clearly dominating the other. The huntress held the sorceress from the back, Setsuna played with Freia’s nipple, she twitched her puffy vulva, teased her erect clitoris. All the while the huntress kept gently and caringly biting the princess’ ear. “Keya… ruga…” The caster helplessly pleaded, reaching for the towering man, but the she-wolf’s grip was just too strong.
“You start with Freia.” Setsuna proclaimed, patting her prey’s puffy lips.
“That’s a bold thing to hear from you.” Keyaruga sneered, all while getting rid of his equipment. What was just a normal arousal grew into a burning passion, as his raging erection urged him to drop the trousers as fast as possible. “Still, who am I to refuse a lady?”
And so, the lad jumped into the bed in all of his naked glory. His rod was on fire, his heart’s pounding resonated all the way to his temples, and his sex drive became unstoppable at that point.
“You’re gorgeous, Freia.” Keyaruga said, caressing the girl’s sweaty cheek. While he was gone, Setsuna made sure Freia was hot and wet; this was her tribute to the leader of their small pack. “I wanna fuck you silly.” The lad whispered heatedly, claiming his shivering bounty. She was moist, she was panting, and most importantly – the sorceress was in mad love.
“A-A-A-H!” Barely did the huntress let go of her, before the girl got on top of her man. She leant on his chest and lowered her hips, letting the hard penis pierce her dripping vagina. “You’re… mine now.” The princess declared, accepting the lad’s meaty stick all the way to the twitching balls.
“Well-well, care to explain what’s happened? Anybody?” The healer wondered with a mischievous grin on his face. He never missed a chance to get a firm grip on Freia’s bouncing ass; and neither did he deny himself from leaving a bunch of hickeys on her neck.
Nobody cared for conversation anymore. One was too busy moaning, while bouncing on the man’s rod, another was muffledly panting, all while pleasing herself. Setsuna dared not intervene, but neither would she miss a chance to follow Eve’s example.
Freia embraced Keyaruga, rubbing her sweaty body against his torso. Strangely enough, the girl deliberately avoided looking him in the eyes. She even turned her back to the man. And while her trained spine and round buttcheeks did look enticing, just having a beauty riding his dick wasn’t really enough to the hero.
“Hey, Freia…” Keyaruga spoke, lifting himself in a sitting position. That way, he could once again embrace his lovely princess. “You don’t have to fuck me out of guilt, you know.” The healer admonished, bending the girl in to take her doggy-style.
“I don- AHH!!!” There was no place for excuses. No moment of reflection, nothing but a primal lust and desire. Freia was his trophy, while he and Norn had a long story behind them? As if it mattered at all right now. “A-A-H!!! KEYARUGA!!!” She yelled, as the lad ravaged her. Gripping onto the bedsheets, the sorceress could do nothing but drown in pleasure. “A-A-A-A-A-A-A-H!!!” She was on the verge, orgasm after orgasm; she was led, or rather dragged, to the highest peak of ecstasy.
A wave of pure joy had covered Freia from her head down to her toes, she trembled, drooled, she even got a small puddle underneath her butt. These five minutes were so intense, she couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe properly. And yet…
“Get up. Master’s not finished.” Setsuna demanded, crawling near the girl. And indeed, Keyaruga’s penis was still far from ejaculating.
“She’s right. You and I have a lo-o-o-ot to do!” The hero uttered, grabbing Freia’s butt.
…
It’s been… how much time? Twenty? Thirty minutes? An hour? Even more? It was hard to tell after countless orgasms the two enjoyed together. Freia looked more like a dirty rag, than anything else. Her pink hair was all messy; she was sticky with sweat and reeked of semen, leaking right from her loose vagina. But even so, she clung to the Hero of Healing, who didn’t really seem any better, napping with a string of saliva drooling from his mouth.
Only Setsuna remained awake. She didn’t take any part in their love, other than masturbating right beside them. There was an undisputed reason for such a behavior. Specifically, Freia had told her everything; down to the most gruesome detail of how she abused the drug-addicted boy she now called master. The sorceress had expected retribution, a swift and brutal death by the ice claws, knowing she could leave her beloved man for Norn.
But, well, what kind of keeper would Setsuna be if she didn’t direct that lunacy into a fine night for two broken souls? The huntress would get her turn her turn the next day. Now, though, she covered Keyaruga and Freia with a blanket and lied beside him.
Silently, the she-wolf took the lad’s hand and pressed it against her breast. After all, it was kindness and warmth that kept his nightmares at bay.