My GF and I just recently moved into a rental house from an apartment and we weren't able to view the interior before our move in date because they were still "working on it". We only had old pictures to go off of and didn't know what to expect when we finally got the keys. Boy were we surprised.
It looked as if they left the house exactly as the precious tenant left it! The house was dirty (but not filthy if you get what I'm saying) as if they didn't bother to spruce it up at all, there are plenty of unpatched nail holes in the walls, missing trim all over the place, and overall shoddy workmanship on all their "repairs". There's even a giant hole in the drywall inside the garage.
Now we went through a larger rental company called American Homes 4 Rent, and our lease is signed and all monies paid until the next month's rent. It states in our lease that we're responsible for all minor repairs and maintenance outside of major issues like plumbing, HVAC, etc. Are we basically screwed at this point and have to do it all ourselves or are there some requirements landlord's have to meet in between tenants?
Can anyone with experience in this field please give me some advice on what I should do?

So my (21F) boyfriend (22M) has had trouble letting me know in the past ahead of time when he is going to hang out with his friends which has caused arguments as he forgets to let me know after me and him have already made plans. Because of that he decided to let me know in advance today that he will be going out with his friends on April 8th due to a UFC fight . However, April 8th is the one year anniversary for our first date and i proceeded to tell him no because its a special date for us and our relationship and I wanted to celebrate it with him. I have also been very vocal on how excited I am to reach that milestone as it is my first relationship to reach it. I have mentioned how I wanted to be corny and wear the exact clothes to the exact same place on that date. I even went as far to make a nail appointment to get the same set i had last year. He however said he doesnt care about the date as we were both “single” at the time (its a saying he uses as i was very vocal that i was still single while we were still dating so he wouldnt think we were automatically bf/gf) and that we were both talking to other people. This led to a whole argument where i stated if he doesn’t respect how i feel then we shouldnt be together. I feel as though we should celebrate that day because it is a milestone but he wants to go out with his friends because he hasnt been able to due to various reasons. So am i overreacting or should i just compromise and celebrate it another day?

Advice/Process of moving to Italy for about 3 years from Canada
Hi there, this may be long but here is what I need advice on as soon as possible so I can get this all started.
So I’ve been hoping to move out of Calgary, Alberta, Canada, to Vicenza, Italy, hopefully by January or February of 2024, for about 34-35 months. Me (Canadian-24 yrs old) and my BF (American-25 yrs old) plan on staying together there, but I am assuming I of course will need a Visa of some sort, but dont know which one I should be applying for and when I should apply for it.
Some background info: We are both long distance at the moment, and he is in the US Army and is supposed to be stationed there November, 2023 for 36-months. I wanted to give him the months of november to january/february to find a home OFF the military post and settle in before I come, and so that I will have proof of a location to stay while I’m living in Italy.
The idea we have of moving our items seems logical, so I wont be having movers move all my stuff from Canada to Italy. We plan to have my items driven down to the States into a storage unit, so that he can tell the movers during his PCS, to get the boxes and furniture there and have it shipped to Italy, along his with his items. We chose to do this because it was a way cheaper alternative than having my things shipped off directly from my city.
My current job is a Medical Office Assistant, and am currently taking a nail technician course, so that in the future, I can possibly start my own nail business/work for myself. I gave this info because I was thinking it could help with determining what Visa I should be applying for ?
I wanted to know, should there be a medical travel consultation? Is staying there for 34-35 months possible? What information should I be gathering? How should the process work? Is there anything I should discuss regarding my banking? Current student loans that I am paying for? What considerations should I make regarding my drivers license.
Someone please help me out.

Hey, gang, I just rewatched Mice & Murder and wanna sing its praises. Spoilers below.
Grant O'Brien kills it as Detective Sylvester Cross. He nails the balance of a legitimately smart hero and an insecure, bitchy weirdo. Rehka Shankar's and his banter is the heart of this season, and it is great from both of them. Hats off to Grant especially for staying cool while being framed and letting the audience enjoy the table's misdirected reaction, without interrupting to say out-of-character that he was innocent.
Speaking of Rehka Shankar, she and Ally Beardsley did the most to play up the silly animal setting, and I appreciate them both for it. Daisy's trash and shit... Lars's barking and rolling around... It really relieved the pressure from the intense plotting to be reminded that this was still a ridiculous setting with opportunities for cartoonishness.
Katie Marovitch as Gangie Green and Raphael Chestang as Vicar Ian Prescott were both such entertaining roleplayers, leaning into their quirky characters. Gangie's immediate bond with Matilda Molesly warmed my heart, and the Vicar's complete clown show from beginning to end was great dedication to the bit. Remembering to play for the audience is a big difference between playing ttrpgs and recording a ttrpg actual play, and their comedic chops give them such good instincts for D20.
I need more Sam Reich on D20. Buckster $ Boyd stole the show for me; a great performance of a well-thought-out character. And his engagement was infectious! I felt like I was watching it with Sam, the show's #1 fan.
And of course, Brennan Lee Mulligan. A well-paced mystery is so hard to pull off in tabletop. It took a great table and a fair amount of intervention, but yes, that's what it takes. With all those critical successes, the dice didn't do him any favors keeping control of the pacing. And yet, he kept a feeling of excitement and progress over many hours of gameplay. Masterfully done.
M&M is really near the top for me. What other well-earned compliments did I miss?

I've looked on a few different websites and she's always listed for $40 or more. I've tried looking in local Targets and Walmarts but none of them have her stocked, so online is my only option.

Hello, all. I have been dealing with this for countless years. I started out with boogers/nails/hair at such a young age that I don’t recall the first instance. I don’t know how to stop. I don’t pick and eat head or body hair to the point of ruining hair patterns, but as for my facial hair, that is not the case. I grow facial hair very, very fully, thankfully, so each time I shave anew, it all grows back in. However, I know for a fact I’m going to be picking and pulling at my facial hair, most of the time clear down to the follicle since my facial hair is very rigid. I don’t know of any ways to help alleviate this issue. I just wanted to share since hardly anyone that knows me deeply truly know of this undying propensity of eating shit I shouldn’t and wouldn’t be if I were normal. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Love all of you. T.

Hi all! I am an oregon college student looking to study business, and I have a few questions about the Live Better U program. I just learned that the Walmart Live Better U program has added Oregon State University to their list. OSU is my dream school to attend and I would love to learn more about the programs available. Graduating from college debt-free would be a dream. I have never worked at Walmart, but I have many years of retail experience. So, my questions are: 1) What programs are offered with the OSU school? 2) Are these programs available in person? 3) Is working at Walmart worth it for this program? Genuinely, what is working at Walmart like for you? What position would be the best starting position?

howdy pig lovers of reddit! I recently adopted two piggies and I have fallen in love with them, both unneutered, both male, and while I don't have their exact ages, one is easily no older than 3 or 4 months while the other is about a year (both their nails seem young, clean and sharp, also the one I suspect is only three or four months is only about 7 inches long as opposed to the other that is a foot).
They currently are in an enclosure that is 8 square feet which I'm realizing quickly, is far too small for what I deem to be ethical for these guys. My plan is to double their habitat space by upgrading it to 16 Square feet.
My Question: If I wanted to adopt another, would I be able to and could I successfully house three guinea pigs with 16 square feet of room?
Other info: They currently have unlimited access to hay and water, roughly 70% of their diet consists of purely hay while the other 25% is a healthy combination of pellets, fresh spring mix, squash, cilantro, and other various green and vegetable scraps.
EDIT: I plan on adopting another male, housing three males total

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Picture below. I've had this issue for a few months now. I saw a doctor ~2 months ago and the issue has worsened in ways (left foot much more purple) and better in others (right foot not dealing with much discoloration if any)- they provided a few things it could be (reynauds, chillblains, diabetes, and some others i forgot) but I need testing to find out what it actually is. I cannot afford to spend really anything near what these tests cost but may be able to do whichever test seems most probable or indicative soon. My marketplace insurance doesn't cover blood testing until i meet a copay i dont have a chance of meeting. I will provide as much information as I can and let me know any questions I missed. The primary issue is my left foot having, what appears to be, very low blood flow in particular but my other foot/fingers are a bit colder than usual. Right foot has been paleish/purpleish especially when I saw the doctor 2 months ago but never as bad as the left included in pictures.
Particularly the left foot has had the worst part of the issue for the 3~ months it's been ongoing. At this point, all of the toes are generally a little purple and there have been times they don't blanch at all. My right foot sometimes seems inverse of this, but very rarely / not sure if it has happened since 2 months ago is also a little purple on the right side / right pinky toe. Currently the right foot is generally white and looks fine but still cold at the toes. I just put my feet under some warm water and the left foot gets red but the right almost turns whiter, brighter not pale.
The issue did seem worse around the time I saw the doctor, with my fingers having more profound coldness and issues with purple/paleness on the right foot. But my left foot didn't have nearly as many/much purple toes. Initially my left foot, 1st toe to the left of the big toe, would get sort of inflamed. Appears like fluid retention from my general research, gets red and a little itchy / sensitive , not super swollen but possibly swells a little? Looks like "covid toes" that I had seen. I still get this on my fingers randomly which dissipates quickly, where some fingers are red around the nail and it's a little more sensitive. I feel like this occurs a lot when I leave my apartment, now that I think about it. I have not had much pain aside from the early red toes/current occasional red fingers which is still pretty minor pain. No pain on the feet or anywhere else really, aside from the hemorrhoid(s) i had/have. If I excerise or run it under warm water it does blanch a little, but if I try it when I'm at my desk sometimes it doesn't blanch at all. I haven't really lost feeling anywhere on my body, it doesn't usually get numb but every now and then. Doctors did check blood flow to my foot, seemed fine. I visited urgent care for a hemorrhoid and asked them to take a look as well, and they checked the flow to my foot which appeared fine and didn't deem the issue urgent to take any further steps. Color is restored pretty quickly upon excerise, warm water, or raising my feet. My foot looks practically normal if I just do any of those things, but gets back to purple/pale quickly if I sit. Unsure about Reynauds as a cause because my limited understanding of Reynauds is that it isn't constant like this, more so a reaction. My feet have never really been itchy, only a little when they were initially inflamed. Again, I have not really had much pain anywhere at all which a lot of causes seem to have.
My background: I believe my blood mother had blood pressure issues but it's unclear. I have psoriasis, I have never been tested for diabetes, I have anxiety/depression, started ADHD medication (adderall) ~4 months ago so around a month before this issue arose - no prior ADHD diagnosis in my family. Wheneve i don't take it or do take it, doesnt seem to have an impact but I am going to try skipping it both of my weekend days instead of the usual one and see if there are any changes. I have always had issues with dexterity and feel out of breath quickly, have seen 205 bpm or so on a smart watch when going for a run (smart watch, so who knows). I was obese at that time around 210 I believe. My peak weight was 225 during 2022, but since lost weight and now around 175. Issue probably began when I was around 190. I went from 200 to 175 over a span of 4-5 months I'd say. All weight measurements in pounds. I work from home and don't know anybody here so leave very rarely, have had a pretty sedentary lifestyle for the last 2 or 3 years hence the weight gain. I did run a little when I got here but rarely leave for a run now. I do tend to sit poorly at my desk, with my legs crossed or one up but have been sitting properly the last week or so. I have been sleeping with my feet elevated. My diet is poor as I don't have a lot of spare money and struggle with most foods. I don't eat any meat right now, have usually eaten a lot of chicken in the past. Could have a minor lactose issue, but not diagnosed as the first time I've seen a primary care doctor was at that visit in Jan. Blood pressure checks appear fine everytime I've been tested. My resting rate is usually 78-85. I'm a 22 years old 5'9 ~175lb white male. I did use thc a while back 5 months+ but haven't since, never smoked or used tobacco, and don't drink. I was taking doxylamine succinate for the past few years but have recently stopped. Only known allergies are from a "severe drug eruption" due to Trazodone and recently another skin rash reaction to Quetiapine. Taking mirtazpine since 2 weeks ago, taking fish oil supplemements since a week ago. Have purchased some other supplements (Niacin, B12, Magnesium, Iron, L-argynine). The day after I took Niacin and L-argynine my heart felt weird, believe it was palpitations so haven't taken again.
I know this is a lot of information, and it may be an obvious (you need to be active or eat better) to fix the issue. I'm hoping to confirm that, or if it is something someone has seen before. I really struggle with excerise mainly due to insecurities and how tired it makes me, but have been doing jumping jacks on breaks and such to get my heart moving. It's difficult to go for a run when it absolutely exhausts me, went outside for 12 ish minutes total a few days ago and ran as much as I could which was not continous or for a very long period; at most I ran for 20-30s at a time and run out of breath. I had to chill for ~1hr30 afterwards before i could get up and try to play a game.
Let me know if you have any questions or any suggestions, thank you. Photo below.
tldr; unsure of cause of left foot having very purple feet from initially red/inflamed feet; and have limited resources for blood tests to figure it out for sure. Hoping someone has seen this before.

So you’re an eager AS200 ready for field training. You got your bag packed with your extra set of OCP boots, your FTM is all tabbed up, and you got 20 9-Line cards for the rest of your flight. You’re prepared, but you don’t know what to expect. You need advice, you want the POC to tell you how to prepare. Never fear, I will offer my genius insights on how to get the most out of field training. This advice might not be helpful, but hey, its coming from a POC.
· Sequencer: So there’s this off brand-Gatorade they put at every water cooler. It’s served through normal Gatorade dispensers and you drink it through these flimsy paper cups. It comes in five flavors: Red, Blue, Green, Yellow, and Purple. First off, double up your cups. Those paper cups will decompose in seconds, use two or three to minimize leaks. Secondly, I would recommend staying away from the yellow and green flavors. They are not as good, are generally saltier, and the CTAs don’t know the right ratio for those two. Lastly, mix the flavors. Mixing Red and Purple yields this concoction so ungodly good you’ll wish you never had to drink anything else. Blue and Red is also okay. Using Red or blue with yellow is also a good way to boost the inferior flavors.
· DFAC: Don’t greet the staff table. You will have to eat at the DFAC a bunch, it is annoying, know the procedures. If you can ever volunteer to do something during lunch, do that. Not only will you get longer to eat, but you may get some neat opportunities. I met the first sergeant during my max and got to have a lunch with them because of it. You will be offered to take snacks as well. You may not be the type of person to take snacks. ALWAYS TAKE YOUR SNACKS. You may frequently have lunch of dinner super early and get hungry later, and if not I can guarantee you there are flight mates who would kill for your pop tart. Also, the wrappers for the granola bars when I went had coupon codes for free minecoins on them. Even at FT, the grind never stops. You will probably have water minimums every meal. You can drink for the rest of the day. Still drink your water (see below), but focus on your food. You only get ten minutes to eat (ask for time extensions if you need them!) so use the time for food.
· Drink water: Duh. But seriously. Don’t be that one weirdo that gets stripped naked by staff because you had a heat stroke. Water is amazing and I cannot emphasize how important it is. I drank almost 15 liters in one day once. Also it gives you an excuse to go to the bathroom frequently, which is really your only break in the first few days. Also, be sure to fill up your pack every chance you get. You never really can know how long you are going to go without having another chance.
· Sleep and Hygiene: It is hard to fall asleep at 2000, especially if you are coming from the west coast. The first few days will be annoying as well. After about two days you will fall asleep very quickly (I’ve never heard of even the roughest sleepers taking more than 15 minutes to fall asleep). The lights out hours are enforced, so be sure you are sleeping when you can. Your body will wake you up automatically five minutes before 0400 in a few days, so in the dark silently make your bed or brush your teeth if you didn’t have time last night. Oh yeah, brush your teeth, it may be hard to find the time but don’t get cavities from FT. I would suggest brushing teeth in the shower if you can’t find time. I know too many people who didn’t find time to brush their teeth.
· Gossip: yes, really, get to know each other, share what you know. Did you overhear and FTO say that Romeo flight was going to VW TD-7? Spread the word! Do not hold knowledge that can help your flight to yourself, because such behaviors really stand out and FTO’s will really ding your flight rankings. Lots of people go into FT trying to know everything and be the big up-front leader. People who step on toes get ranked much worse than those who repeatedly fail but demonstrate growth. Point is, you will hear things. Set up a recall roster in your flight. Also don’t be afraid to ask for things, such as allowances to break the flight path. Also, just share what you know. If you came with extra FDE cards for everyone, share! If you have feedback for an ORI, share! The flight halls should have public bulletin boards for MFRs, use those. Your evaluators will notice.
· Talk to the Chaplains! You might not be religious, that is totally cool, but the religious services were an outstanding spiritual experience and just asking to talk with the chaplains is a great way to get a quick break within bounds. Talking with them will not negatively impact your rankings in any way, and I cannot emphasize how amazing they are. Seriously, do not be afraid to put yellow or red for mental health in your journals. Lying about your issues does not make them go away. Talking to the chaplains just might. I got to go on some walks and have some nice drinks with them while talking about life. An excellent reprieve.
· Feet: oh yeah, this is a big one. There is a reason you put this on your weekly journal. You will not have an option to wash your shoes, so be sure you pack a burner pair. Maybe also get extra insoles. Air out your shoes every night if you can, maybe pack some Lysol. Wash your feet when you shower, sleep without socks on if you need, and watch your feet to treat any potential blisters immediately before they get to you.
· Actually go: this one is fun. Apparently, every year like half a dozen people just don’t show up to FT. When called, they’re just like “oh yeah I don’t wanna do ROTC anymore.” It is past that point, you have committed, so be sure you are fully present. Don’t not go, and don’t go and not be present. Actually be there, and care why you are. Don’t do an SIE or whatever the self elimination is called. You may want to, but talk with the chaplains first and realize, it’s only a few more days. Focus on one day at a time. VW is a blast and it gets a lot easier. The CTAs warm up. No one I know of did an SIE after TD-3, so just bear out the first few days, as rough as they are.
· Packing List: Take a pair of nail clippers, your own set of moleskin, and extra thing of wet wipes or Lysol, extra shoes and arguably more socks. Write your locker combo in your FTM (AND ALWAYS LEAVE YOUR SECURITY LOCKER LOCKED—most common form 17 and was responsible for one dismissal at my max.) Take an extra set of civilian clothes so once you are done you can change out of IUs for the ride home. Keep in mind you won’t hear music for two weeks, so think about what the last song you hear is going to be. Also you can take extra stuff as long as its not contraband (consumable, electronic, or a distraction) so take extra stuff. You will have a lot of fun time at VW and maybe even get some places where you want to kill time. There is no harm in taking extra things to help you prepare.
· Learn marching jodies: calling cadence for 15 minutes in the heat sucks.
I probably forgot a bunch of stuff so maybe I'll be back.

Advice/Process of moving to Italy for about 3 years from Canada
Hi there, this may be long but here is what I need advice on as soon as possible so I can get this all started.
So I’ve been hoping to move out of Calgary, Alberta, Canada, to Vicenza, Italy, hopefully by January or February of 2024, for about 34-35 months. Me (Canadian-24 yrs old) and my BF (American-25 yrs old) plan on staying together there, but I am assuming I of course will need a Visa of some sort, but dont know which one I should be applying for and when I should apply for it.
Some background info: We are both long distance at the moment, and he is in the US Army and is supposed to be stationed there November, 2023 for 36-months. I wanted to give him the months of november to january/february to find a home OFF the military post and settle in before I come, and so that I will have proof of a location to stay while I’m living in Italy.
The idea we have of moving our items seems logical, so I wont be having movers move all my stuff from Canada to Italy. We plan to have my items driven down to the States into a storage unit, so that he can tell the movers during his PCS, to get the boxes and furniture there and have it shipped to Italy, along his with his items. We chose to do this because it was a way cheaper alternative than having my things shipped off directly from my city.
My current job is a Medical Office Assistant, and am currently taking a nail technician course, so that in the future, I can possibly start my own nail business/work for myself. I gave this info because I was thinking it could help with determining what Visa I should be applying for ?
I wanted to know, should there be a medical travel consultation? Is staying there for 34-35 months possible? What information should I be gathering? How should the process work? Is there anything I should discuss regarding my banking? Current student loans that I am paying for? What considerations should I make regarding my drivers license.
Someone please help me out.

Good evening folks. I really lost it all. My health, money, vehicles, freedom, relationships. I won't go into detail but this is 2nd DUI and it's BAD. Fighting tooth and nail to stay strong but I fucked up bad. On top of the debt I already had before this, I am now pouring thousands of dollars to make things right with the law. Not even sure exactly what I will do for work if my license gets suspended. If I can't make money, I can't pay rent either. On top of that the doctor told me my health is in trouble right now but that is a story for another time. I can't even afford to go to the doctor... so if you are currently sober and struggling..just remember how good you really have it and remember how bad it can really get. Thank you.

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A rule breaking truck driver takes a forbidden detour.
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Don't Feed the Pumpkins
I'm typing this as a record of what has happened to me. If someone should find me out here, where ever here is, this is what happened and who is responsible. Also, out of the dozens of vehicles bogged down in this field, mine is the Blue Jay 2013 Freight Liner. If I should die and it is recoverable, it should go to my son, John Grainger in Antioch, Illinois.
I left Litchfield Illinois around 2pm on Halloween with a last-minute load of pumpkins destined for the Antioch Walmart. Despite the fact I was once that told Illinois is the #1 pumpkin producer in the country the itself state appears to be in the midst of a shortage. I was due in about 8pm, but I was trying get in by 6pm and after unloading, I was going to visit my wife Carly and my son for Halloween. It was going to be the first Halloween in my son's life that I was going to be there for trick o treating. My wife was making a big deal out of it and John was 10 now, so, she said he would be “scarred with disappointment” if I didn't show now. So, I probably should have gotten better sleep the night before and sue me, I was gear jamming and popping go-pills like popcorn. Don't look down on me, don't be fooled, this is just the nature of the trucking industry. Everyone does it and I'm not afraid to tell it like it is.
Just after Normal on 39 I hit a wall of traffic. I could hear on the CB that there is a hazmat incident up ahead and they require special teams to clear it off. I, like the other truckers, get to gabbing on the radio, looking for shortcuts. To my surprise, after scrutinizing this route several times before, I was informed about a “gutshot” shortcut just ahead that could get in me into my destination at least an hour earlier, even with the fact I had sat in the backup for at least 45 minutes at this point. A second comrade in gears piped in and stated that the shortcut was closed. The first driver contradicted him and stated, he had used it two weeks ago, it was wide open country land you could go 70 the whole way, and the only town along the way had burned down in an industrial accident 30 years ago. The second trucker chimed in again. He said it was closed for tonight and only tonight and not to use it. I disregarded the second trucker, exited the interstate and followed the directions of the first trucker.
Well, Carly, you always said it would be this way. You always said, I needed to learn how to follow directions to not cut so many damn corners all the time. You always told me didn't put in the work, and the funny thing is, for the first time, on this drive, get there, I did. Sure, I cut all the corners, but I wanted to to put in the work. But you're right, I never put a second of effort in, and if this is how it ends, I suppose you're right, I never will. But I guess, one way or another, you're getting what you've wanted, what you text me, what you don't tell me about, and what I didn't care about. I was coming home for him and damn it, I know it won't hold up in court but I want my boy to get the damn truck!
Anyway, I found the road, 2 lanes clear to the sky, surrounded by corn and then pumpkin fields forever. My straight shot, I pushed 80 the whole way flying on cracked asphalt, diesel, and go-pills. Ahead, there were barricades and I applied the brakes and barely stopped in time. I got out and saw they were chained up with a padlock to concrete posts in the ground. In theory, I could blast through them but I would sustain serious damage. The ground was a bit wet so I didn't think I could cross the ditch and field and not get stuck either. The barricades were not official in the least. They had a sign on them made out of it mailbox stick-on letters which said: “Do Not Feed The Pumpkins”. As far as I could see from my cab and binoculars, there was absolutely nothing wrong with the damn road. I said hell and I knew it would take hours to reverse course and get back in time – in time to even unload much less make it in time to go trick o treating.
And I said it wasn't worth it. I didn't bother to call. I'd just show up now. Because it wasn't my fault. So I started back, turning around with great difficulty. I traveled back 2 miles and saw small signs for a rest area. I must have missed it the first time, too deep into the zone I suppose now. I needed to pee and probably eat a bit before starting a roundabout way back, so I stopped. It was a little old 2 story joint with a small dinner on the 1st level and looked like 4 or 5 small motel rooms on top and oddly an outhouse for a restroom. I want to emphasize the outhouse because that is how you'll find and catch this guy, the guy who did this to me. It was Bill Shaw of Shaw's Shack, who did this to me. It had a sign with the building, it too was made of stick-on letters and vaguely resembled a huge ransom note. It read “Yes! We are open! We are the only rest area for 67 miles and 1 of 2 “tombstones” for the late great town of Pumpkin Grove Illinois – the former pumpkin capital of Illinois. Ask Your host, Bill Shaw about the Pumpkin-beef-bean stew!
The parking lot had three vehicles in it, not including my own, a silver Prius, a grand cheeroke with wood panels, and an older model chevy pick up truck. I went inside. The dinner was small, set in a rustic décor with old license plates nailed to the walls. The cafe had eight counter seats and two smaller tables near the two windows. There were two witnesses to what happened that night, to what Bill Shaw did – at least partial witnesses. There was the older man with stringy white hair and octagonal glasses – unfortunately, I didn't get his name. There was that irritating millennial – All I remember is the metal crap in her ears and lip. Hell, if I die and John starts ever pulling that crap, I'll come back and haunt the crap out of both of you. Anyway, now, I wish I could remember their names or something else about them to put here. I didn't care about either one of them enough to remember.
I guess that goes for Shaw too. He was a bit taller as sometimes I couldn't see his face while sitting at the counter because of the low lights in the ceiling blocking his face. He had gray hair. Hell. That's it. Anyway, the old man said he was part of a historical society, said he spent the better part of his past two years tracking down anyone or anything about Pumpkin Grove. The college student – of course – it was college student said she was from the school newspaper, looking for a spooky story. When she asked me where I was from, I didn't respond.
Shaw came from the kitchen with two big bowls of the famous Pumpkin-beef-bean stew for first two. He seemed taken back by my presence for a bit before saying “howdy” and trying to get real friendly with me. He asked what media I was from. I told him I wasn't from no media and I was trying to get through the barricade up ahead. Neither of the other two seemed to know about the barricade. Shaw said he didn't know anything about it either. I was suspicious of him then because of the lettering on the signs. But I didn't push it. I wanted to eat and he said my choice was the stew or stew. So the stew seemed fine. He said he wished he had more time to chat with me but he promised to tell the story of Pumpkin Grove to the two others but I was welcome to listen and ask questions. I didn't say it but I couldn't care less, I was going no where fast and I needed to eat.
He started off by saying he and his wife are among a handful of survivors of the fire that consumed the town of Pumpkin Grove some 30 years ago on Halloween night. Then his story descended into a cross between a rambling fading nightmare and a ghost story. He said, without hesitation, fear of consequence or remorse that he was accessory to a murder in his childhood. Specifically, some 40 years ago, again on Halloween, he was friends with a small group of young men including one named Donnie, who was a little slow and had a slightly misshaped head. He was picked on a lot by the Gerst Brothers, notorious town bullies and teenage thugs of a bad seed thanks to their neglectful alcoholic single father. Long story short, he said, the Gerst Brothers lured Donnie, himself and another 2 boys out to a pumpkin field where they gave back Donnie's missing dog. Apparently they kidnapped the dog and wrapped every inch of it in duct tape a few days ago. They watched us try to peel and pull the duct tape off while the weakened, hungry, and thirsty dog whimpered away its last in the field. Unbeknownst to any of us, Donnie had a pocket knife and he lost it as the Gerst Brothers cackled around him and the dead dog. He leaped up as they laughed and sliced the vein on their necks. One of the Brothers died quickly while Donnie and the two others fought the other to death. Shaw said he just stood there, covered in arterial blood splatters, watching Donnie and the others finish off the Gersts.
Much of the town was shockingly grateful to hear the Gerst Brothers were dead and everyone was all too happy to sweep it under the rug rather than have 4 of their sons incarcerated for decades when they were needed to help with the town's bread and butter – the Pumpkins. So, they buried the Gerst Brothers in that field and grew pumpkins on their corpses and no one really talked about it. The town paid off their father, who was too inebriated most of the time to care and he gleefully drank himself to death on the payoff only about a year later.
I didn't have much of a reaction to the story. The historian on the other hand, was hesitant to stay and keep writing and he made a brief protest concerning whether or not the story was true and whether or not he could legally listen to it. Shaw said it was both true and legal. After all, there was nothing left of the town and the remains were long gone and he himself, would not bare witness to himself. The college student's dumb metal encrusted mouth was agape in a mix of horror and disbelief.
I was waiting, patiently, might I add, for my stew. Shaw promised it would be up soon. He continued the story, stating that the fields produced abnormally well afterwards and 10 years later he was visiting his parents with his girlfriend for the annual Pumpkin fest. It was just that the pumpkins weren't just more numerous and larger, or more resistant to the rains and the fungus, they were alive and nothing could keep them tame or from spreading wider and wider. And everyone thought this was great at first, the profits were never higher but then weird things began to happen. Equipment went missing and two farm hands were crushed by a wagon full of pumpkins tipping over onto them in what was at first called a freak accident. Shaw recounted how he took his girlfriend through one of the patches and the vines seem to wind and grapple her legs, of course, Shaw's folks passed it off as her not being used to the mud but Shaw said he knew better.
Shaw continued to describe that over the days that led up to Halloween, the Jack O Lanterns on people's porches and elsewhere began to do some unusual things. Things like seemingly move by themselves from dusk to dawn, changing the carvings of their faces slightly, or appearing to “jump” off a table onto the porch without damage or apparent cause. On the morning of Halloween, Shaw said that he found his black cat, Lucky, incinerated in front of a jack o lantern as if it had breathed fire on to it from its mouth though they had long ago blown out the candle inside.
After the cat burning, the elderly man from the historical society tossed his spoon in his bowl. Shaw asked if something was wrong. The elderly man got up to leave and he said it tasted like bitter cold bull and his story was bull and thanked him for nothing. After checking the remaining contents of his bowl of stew, Shaw chased him out of the door, to his car, asking him what direction he planned to go home. When he peeled out of the parking lot he was headed southwest. Shaw came back in and threw up his hands.
I tell nothing but the truth, he said, most people can't handle it. Part of me wanted to go, but I was cozy there, it was warm and the story, while bull to me at the time, was entertaining enough. The SJW sitting down the way looked exhausted, barely keeping her eyes open as Shaw finished out the story. In short he said, Donnie approached him at dusk on Halloween while he and his family sat on the porch eagerly awaiting trick o treaters. Donnie said the Gerst Brothers are alive in the pumpkins and that they planned to burn the whole town down tonight. Donnie said, he had to tell Shaw because Shaw wasn't supposed to die, he was supposed to watch.
I rudely stopped him and demanded more stew. I was still hungry and the stew was somehow unsatisfying. When he returned, he finished the story, stating the town was suddenly engulfed in flames and their house in particular with Donnie on the porch, flash burned to the ground like napalm from an exploding pumpkin. He escaped with his family and his future wife in the pick up truck sitting outside now.
The college student said she felt like she needed to lay down, that she didn't think she could make back to the campus to the north. Shaw attended to getting her one of the rooms upstairs. I stayed down stairs and went to the back for more stew. I rubbed my eyes intensely and felt as if I too should stay for the night. But in the tug of war between fatigue and dexrine, the dexrine was slowly coming out ahead.
Next to the stew was a cutting board and a knife and on it was some bluish whitish powder which I found peculiar. On floor was a bottle of medication. It was Insomnex – a sleeping pill I use when I'm coming off of dexrine. The stew was dosed.
I ran to my truck and pulled out my dexrine and my revolver. As I climbed out of the driver's side, I could see Shaw running out of the dinner with a huge kitchen knife. I ducked under the trailer and back out on his side and pointed the gun at him.
What the hell I asked as I slowly advanced on him with my snub nose pointed at his head. He dropped the knife. He said, I just wanted to puncture your tires, I had to do something to stop you. I know you want to go north and I know you might be crazy enough and your truck tough enough to smash the barricades but I can't let you. I can't let anyone else go through, he said hysterically. I asked the dumb question about whether or not he set the barricades and just as I previously suspected, he did.
I'm supposed to watch, Shaw cried. No one can get through tonight, no can be allowed to. I told him to shut up as he rambled on about how he and his wife took it upon themselves to ward off travelers on Halloween Night. Its a cursed road tonight, he said, we're cursed to stay here and this is the best we can do to stop it from spreading. Its been calling us for 30 years, he went on, we tried to walk away but it kept on spreading, the pumpkins, he said gritting his teeth in anguish.
Maybe it was the dexrine and the insomnex working together, hell maybe it was the stew by itself but I just started to laugh as I guided Shaw back into the dinner and proceeded to duct tape him down to the dinner chair to make sure he could not cause anymore harm to anyone else until the police arrived. I had some cash on me, I wasn't a criminal, I wasn't going to make it seem like I tied him up and dinned and dashed, I was in the right, I was doing the lawful thing. So I left him exact change, no tip for the food. In the process of making change for myself, I found the padlock key in the cash drawer, I was certain of it at the time as I waved it in front of Shaw and he gasped and thrashed behind the duct tape the hardest.
I got into my truck and gunned it north towards the barricades, which, as I suspected was easily opened with the key I confiscated from Shaw. I got on my CB and started making emergency calls to the State Police, I gave them my name, the location of the diner, and Shaw's name. I was in the middle of nowhere so it didn't surprise me when I got static and no acknowledgment. I had no bars on my cell phone either but that is typical of central Illinois.
I was going along about 70. The sun was almost down but I hadn't seen the moon yet. I turned on the radio and found a classic rock station. The song was Born on the Bayou from CCR. The opening riff perked me up and reassured me that I had done everything all well and all good. If things held, there was a chance, I could get my freight unloaded and see John tonight. I was eagerly tapping the steering wheel waiting to bust into “When I was just a little boy...” But just as the lyrics should have entered, the radio station seemed to have accidentally reset the song, it just started over.
The sun faded away entirely and yet no moon came up. The sky was so dark but I didn't remember seeing any clouds or expecting any for that matter. The song continued restarting itself, the same opening again and again. I flipped through the other stations and all of them had it playing. Eventually, the digital clock on my dash began to spin wildly like the LCD numbers on the tuner while in scan mode. The truck buffeted and shook side to side despite my headlights showing no cause for it.
To my shock, ahead, in the distance was single traffic light. It was went from green, to yellow, and red, as any other traffic light but there were no lights or towns on this road. I slowed to 40, then 35 then to 30 as I entered an unnamed densely populated area with small buildings, stores, and houses and one traffic light. I came to a stop at the light and I looked around, locked my doors and tried to glimpse where I was. Where ever I was, I felt, I felt like I shouldn't be there. There were dim orange lights in some of the rooms of the houses at the edge of the intersection.
I looked up at one of the windows and I saw a figure with large head in the window. I couldn't believe my eyes at least not until the figure turned to face outward. It was a jack o lantern, a classic one with a black glow where the eyes, nose, and mouth sat. It was held up right by a thin vine structure that seemed to grow and stretch as it stuck its head out of the window and let out a barely audible shrill whistle and stared directly at me.
I gunned it. I blew the red light as the town seemed to collapse into nothing by dark green swelling pumpkin vine and a sea of glowing jack o lanterns in my side view mirrors. I hit the radio off because all I could hear on it was that whistle filtering through. I drove and the mass of jack o lanterns grew in the mirrors. I glimpsed the left and right windows and the plains were glowing black with more pumpkins rolling and creeping towards the road.
The road began to warp and bend as I started to red line my truck. The buffeting side to side became difficult to control as the engine groaned. I couldn't explain how the road began to shift nor how the moon, blood orange began to circle around me from horizon to horizon. Aside from the moon, I thought I was making progress as I couldn't see the vines nor the hundreds of blacklight pumpkins swirling after me.
The moon slowed and dipped down and I started climbing a hill. As I crested, the moon filled the entire windshield and more. It spun and then settled on a black light pumpkin face and bore down on the cab.
I don't know what happened next but I woke up in my cab. The was engine smoking. All I could see was mud and putrid rotten pumpkins as far as I could see. My Blue Jay was sunk up to the cab down in mud, vines and rot. It wasn't going anywhere in it without some serious assistance. To my right and left I saw dozens of other vehicles, most of them at least ten years old, also up their doors in mud and rot. Swarms of flies were visible all around in the boiling midday sun. I'm not really sure how long it has been or what time it really was because the clock on my phone is broken and simply reads as 99:99. I don't know what day it is. I have no cell signal and no radio.
Carly, I need to be honest with you. I cheated on you. Maybe a dozen times. I did it before I thought, before I knew you were doing it to me. I can't live by the rules of trucking, or marriage or anything. It is the road and you command it and that is the only rule. But now, I'm worried I've broken my last rule. I have no food and no water. There is no road here. There is only rule of a blazing sun with jack o lantern face that never sets. I fear that in time, unless I find help or help finds me, I will be feeding the pumpkins.
​
Theo Plesha