Best blow through carb for turbo

Shitty days, all those days were you just want to tell every one to fuck off.

2012.07.01 06:37 whiterungaurd Shitty days, all those days were you just want to tell every one to fuck off.

A place to tell about your shitty day with people who have been there done that and knows how it feels. Also a place were you can go if you want to help a person through a shitty day. Either way its here to vent so vent away.

2012.09.28 21:09 keto4life Ketogains

Ketogains is a protocol created by Luis Villasenor & Tyler Cartwright that helps you unleash the benefits of whole food, low carb dieting and strength training to achieve optimal body composition

2015.08.23 17:14 Iggy gotta get a bitch watch for my rapture

Iggy's ass

2023.03.26 13:56 ZeldaAudio Bands wanted!

Hey guys!
There has been an overwhelming amount of support for the first zeldaaudio/Zanzibar "The Showcase" where we are giving back to the live music community with our D.I.Y shows! So we've extended it till August!!
Here are the next 4 gigs
May 26th June 24th July 29th August 26th
Same rules apply as last time.
  1. Ticket sales will be at £5 a piece, on the door and online sales. Online sales FATSOMA the company our tickets go through take a £1 cut!.
  2. As I am promoting this as well as doing the audio I will not take any cut of this shows money. This is purely for you, the bands.
  3. online ticket sales will be paid to bands 3-5 business days after the event with your bank details ( Yes, I will need them in advance).
4.Door ticket money will be handed out at the end of the gig, so please make sure at least one member is around to collect this.
  1. The more tickets you sell, the more you get paid, it's that simple.
  2. Everyone is equal, each band will receive a 25% split with proof of sales and a breakdown.
  3. We want to make sure everyones audio is the best it can, we've recently done work to the PA system placement to address feedback issues. We, as with every show, ask everyone to respect our audio teams instructions to stop making noise if we need to mix; we will be as quick as possible and let you get back to it as soon as we can.
If you are interested and want to put your band forward please fill out the form and I will get back to you as soon as possible!
Please note, friend request to my personal accounts will not be accepted but if you do want to follow these show updates and news go to ⬇️
Thank you,
submitted by ZeldaAudio to Liverpool [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:53 PuzzledCoUnInc Tips on what might reignite the body

I signed up for a group cycling trip week in the first week of April (7 days of riding, ~40-60 miles and 3k-7k ft elevation gain each day). The trip would have been at the upper limit of my fitness and capability so my plan was to stay active, combine riding and exercise till late March, take a week break and then go for the trip.
And life happened. I’ve been off the bike for a month now. And I’ve done trans-continental travel through that time. I haven’t been inactive but no cardio and no real intense workouts.
Any tips / advice on what would be the best use of the next week before my trip starts?
submitted by PuzzledCoUnInc to cycling [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:53 AutoModerator Watch Jesus Revolution Online Free for reddit

True Story Movie ! Here are options for downloading or watching Jesus Revolution streaming the full movie online for free on 123movies & Reddit,1movies, 9movies, and yes movies, including where to watch the anticipated real-life true story Movies at home. Is Jesus Revolution 2023 available to stream? Is watching Jesus Revolution on Netflix, HBO Max, Disney Plus, Hulu or Amazon Prime? Yes, we have found an authentic streaming option/service.

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Jesus Revolution is an upcoming movie based on Pastor Greg Laurie's autobiographical book of the same title. The movie focuses on Greg's early years as he becomes involved in the "Jesus movement" which originated in Southern California in the late 1960s and early 1970s, eventually spreading throughout much of North America and Europe. Along with a sea of his hippie friends, Greg arrives on the American west coast and attempts to breathe new life into a dying church. A coming-of-age movie set alongside "the greatest spiritual awakening in American history", Jesus Revolution explores faith, rock and roll, and newfound love.

Joel Courtney (The Kissing Booth) plays the young Greg Laurie, and Kimberly Williams-Paisley (Nashville) plays his mother Charlene. Jonathan Roumie (The Chosen) plays hippie preacher Lonnie Frisbee, who Greg meets upon his arrival in Southern California. Kelsey Grammer (Fraiser) plays Pastor Chuck Smith, a man eager to open the doors of his struggling church in the hopes of reviving it. Anna Grace Barlow (The Big Leap) plays Greg's crush and fellow hippie Cathy who invites Greg along to California, thus beginning their time together in the Jesus movement.

Here's your guide on how you can watch the highly anticipated greatest spiritual awakening in American history "Jesus Revolution" streaming, starring Kelsey Grammer.

Jesus Revolution Release Date
Early access screenings for Jesus Revolution begin on Wednesday, February 22, 2023.

Jesus Revolution will then premiere worldwide on Friday, February 24, 2023.

Where to watch Jesus Revolution
As of now, the only way to watch Jesus Revolution is to head to a theater when it releases on Friday, Feb. 24. You can find a local showing on Fandango. Otherwise, you’ll just have to wait for it to become available to rent or buy on digital platforms like Vudu, Amazon, Apple and YouTube, or become available to stream on Peacock.

Watch Now: Jesus Revolution (2023) Online Free!

Find Showtimes for Jesus Revolution

AMC Theatres
Is Jesus Revolution Available to Stream?
It is not yet known when or where Jesus Revolution will be available to stream. However, the movie's production and distribution companies (Lionsgate and Kingdom Story Company) lead us to speculate that when the movie becomes available to stream, it will likely be hosted on a couple of different platforms depending on your country. Last year, Lionsgate signed streaming deals with both The Roku Channel and Peacock, that'll allow the streaming services to host their films.

In the United States, Starz is available with any Hulu plan starting at $7.99 per month. In the United Kingdom, Amazon Prime customers can purchase LIONSGATE+ alongside any plan starting at £5.99 per month.

How to Watch Jesus Revolution For Free?
As mentioned above, ‘Jesus Revolution’ is unavailable on any digital platform as of writing. This simply means that there is currently no way for you to stream the true story movie for free. All you can do is hope that it gets made available on any of the online platforms offering a free trial to its new users. Nevertheless, we urge our readers to always pay for the content they wish to consume and support cinematic art rather than using illegal methods to do the same.

Is Jesus Revolution On Netflix?
No, Jesus Revolution will not be available on Netflix — at least not anytime soon, since it will be heading straight to Peacock after its theatrical release. In the meantime, you’ll just have to wait for it to become available on the NBCUniversal-owned streaming platform.

Is Jesus Revolution Streaming On HBO MAX?
No, Jesus Revolution will not be on HBO Max since it’s not a Warner Bros. movie. While the company previously released its movies on HBO Max and in theaters on the same day, they have since stopped and have implemented a 45-day window between the theatrical release and streaming release.

Is Jesus Revolution on Hulu?
We hate to break it to you that ‘Jesus Revolution’ is not available for streaming on Hulu. But don’t let it stop you from checking out other animal attack movies on the streamer like ‘The Requin‘ and ‘Maneater.’

Will Jesus Revolution Streaming on Amazon Prime Video?
Jesus Revolution will release on Prime Video, but will only be available to buy or rent. It will be released on the Amazon platform when the movie becomes available to buy digitally. The official date for that has not yet been revealed, and will likely be dependant on how well the film does theatrically.

Jesus Revolution Online In The U.S?

Most Viewed, Most Favorite, Top Rating, Top IMDb movies online. Here we can download and watch 123movies movies offline. 123Movies website is the best alternative to Jesus Revolution (2022) free online. We will recommend 123Movies is the best Solarmovie alternatives.

There are a few ways to watch Jesus Revolution online in the U.S. You can use a streaming service such as Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime Video. You can also rent or buy the movie on iTunes or Google Play. You can also watch it on-demand or on a streaming app available on your TV or streaming device if you have cable.

Jesus Revolution Cast:
Jesus Revolution is a 2023 American faith-based drama film directed by Jon Erwin and Brent McCorkle. Based on the book of the same name, the film follows youth minister Greg Laurie (Joel Courtney) and pastor Chuck Smith (Kelsey Grammer) as they take part in the Jesus movement in California during the 1970s. Anna Grace Barlow, Jonathan Roumie, and Kimberly Williams-Paisley also star. The film is scheduled to be released in the United States on February 24, 2023 by Lionsgate.

Joel Courtney as Greg Laurie

Kelsey Grammer as Chuck Smith

Anna Grace Barlow

Jonathan Roumie as Lonnie Frisbee

Kimberly Williams-Paisley

Nicholas Cirillo

Ally Ioannides

Julia Campbell

Nic Bishop

Jolie Jenkins

DeVon Franklin as Josiah

What is Jesus Revolution about?
Jesus Revolution is the story of one young hippie’s quest in the 1970s for belonging and liberation that leads not only to peace, love, and rock and roll, but that sets into motion a new counterculture crusade—a Jesus Movement—changing the course of history.

Inspired by a true movement, Jesus Revolution tells the story of a young Greg Laurie (Joel Courtney) being raised by his struggling mother, Charlene (Kimberly Williams-Paisley) in the 1970s. Laurie and a sea of young people descend on sunny Southern California to redefine truth through all means of liberation. Inadvertently, Laurie meets Lonnie Frisbee (Jonathan Roumie), a charismatic hippie-street-preacher, and Pastor Chuck Smith (Kelsey Grammer) who have thrown open the doors of Smith’s languishing church to a stream of wandering youth. What unfolds becomes the greatest spiritual awakening in American history. Rock and roll, newfound love, and a twist of faith lead to a Jesus Revolution that turns one counterculture movement into a revival that changes the world.
submitted by AutoModerator to moviesplay [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:52 OneWheelMan [H] Priced bundled games (no HB choice games) / [W] Paypal (EU)

All games are obtained by ME. If the game has a region lock, it will be locked to EU region.

Paypal F&F or G&S - fees on you.

Lower rep goes first.

Discount at purchase
5% @ €15-29
7% @ €30-59
10% @ €60+
Game F&F (€EU)
112 Operator 0.50
112 Operator 0.50
2064: Read Only Memories 0.60
7 Billion Humans 4.50
911 Operator 0.50
911 Operator 0.50
A Little Golf Journey 2.50
A Long Way Down 1.00
After The Fall 15.00
Agent in Depth 0.20
Alchemist's Castle 0.20
Arcade Paradise - Arcade Paradise EP 0.20
Arcade Spirits 0.20
Arise: A Simple Story 2.50
Arizona Sunshine 6.00
Armello 1.20
Aviary Attorney 0.20
AWAKE - Definitive Edition 0.20
Backbone 0.20
Baldur's Gate II: Enhanced Edition 2.00
Baldur's Gate II: Enhanced Edition 2.00
Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition 2.00
Baldur's Gate: Enhanced Edition 1.00
Baldur's Gate: Faces of Good and Evil 1.00
Baldur's Gate: Siege of Dragonspear 2.00
Bean Stalker 2.00
Bionic Commando 0.20
Blaston 1.00
Breathedge 2.50
Broken Age 0.20
Calico 0.20
Car Mechanic Simulator VR 1.50
Cats and the Other Lives 0.50
Cave Digger 2: Dig Harder 2.00
CHANGE: A Homeless Survival Experience 1.50
Chivalry: Medieval Warfare 1.50
Click and Slay 0.20
Combat Tested 1.00
Cook-Out 1.00
Corridor Z 0.10
Cosmic Express 0.20
Crash Drive 2 1.00
Cris Tales 0.50
Crying Suns 0.50
Cube Escape Collection 2.50
Dagon - The Eldritch Box DLC 0.10
Dark Deity 1.50
Dear Esther: Landmark Edition -
Death and Taxes 2.50
Death Squared 0.20
Desolate 0.50
Detached: Non-VR Edition 0.50
Devil May Cry 5 + Vergil 7.00
Devil May Cry HD Collection 6.00
DmC Devil May Cry 3.00
DOOM 64 1.00
Doughlings: Arcade 0.50
Doughlings: Invasion 0.20
Draw Slasher 0.10
Drawful 2 0.10
Driftland: The Magic Revival 0.10
Epistory - Typing Chronicles 0.80
Eternal Threads 3.50
Euro Truck Simulator 2 5.00
Expeditions: Viking 1.50
Explosionade 0.20
Farming Simulator 17 2.00
Field of Glory II 1.00
Flynn: Son of Crimson 1.50
Forgotton Anne 7.00
Frick, Inc. 3.00
From Space 4.00
fsongs 0.20
Fury Unleashed 0.50
GameGuru Classic -
Gauntlet - Necromancer -
Gauntlet Slayer Edition + DLC Necromancer 1.50
Ghostrunner 5.00
Gift of Parthax 0.20
Go Home Dinosaurs! 0.20
Golf Gang 0.50
Gotham Knights 20.00
Guilty Gear X2 #Reload 0.40
Guns & Fishes 0.20
Guppy 0.20
Hack 'n' Slash + Soundtrack (& Spacebase GIFT) 0.20
Hacknet 0.50
Hamilton's Great Adventure 0.10
Harmony's Odyssey 0.50
Homeworld Remastered Collection 1.00
Human Resource Machine 5.00
Hyper Gunsport 0.50
Hypnospace Outlaw 3.00
ibb & obb - Best Friends Forever Double Pack 2.00
Ice Age: Scrat's Nutty Adventure 4.50
Icewind Dale: Enhanced Edition 1.00
Indivisible 2.00
Influent 2.50
Into the Pit 1.00
Izmir: An Independence Simulator 0.20
Journey For Elysium 0.50
Just Die Already 1.00
King and Assassins 0.20
Kingdom Two Crowns 3.50
Lair of the Clockwork God 1.00
Lair of the Clockwork God 1.00
Last Resort Island 0.50
Learn Japanese To Survive - Hiragana Battle 0.40
Learn Japanese To Survive! Kanji Combat 0.40
Learn Japanese To Survive! Katakana War 0.40
Learning Factory 3.50
LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4 1.80
LEGO Harry Potter: Years 5-7 2.20
LEGO Jurassic World 1.50
LEGO MARVEL Super Heroes 1.50
LEGO MARVEL Super Heroes 2 1.50
LEGO MARVEL's Avengers 1.50
LEGO The Hobbit + 3 DLCs 2.50
LEGO The Hobbit DLC 1 - The Big Little Character Pack -
LEGO The Hobbit DLC 2 - Side Quest Character Pack -
LEGO The Hobbit DLC 3 - The Battle Pack -
LEGO The Lord of the Rings 2.50
Lighthouse Keeper 0.20
Little Orpheus 2.00
Love Letter 0.20
Luna's Fishing Garden 2.00
Lust from Beyond: M Edition 0.50
Magicka 0.50
Maize 1.25
Marooners 0.20
Meow Express 0.40
Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor Game of the Year Edition 3.00
Middle-earth: Shadow of War Definitive Edition 5.00
MirrorMoon EP 0.10
Monaco 0.50
Moon Hunters 0.20
Mordhau 5.00
Mortal Kombat 11 6.00
Mount & Blade: Warband 2.00
Murder by Numbers 0.50
Nanotale - Typing Chronicles 3.00
NecroWorm 0.20
Neverout 0.20
Neverwinter Nights: Dark Dreams of Furiae 2.50
Neverwinter Nights: Infinite Dungeons 1.00
Neverwinter Nights: Pirates of the Sword Coast 1.00
Neverwinter Nights: Tyrants of the Moonsea 1.50
Neverwinter Nights: Wyvern Crown of Cormyr 1.00
Neverwinter Nights: Darkness Over Daggerford 3.50
Neverwinter Nights: Enhanced Edition 3.50
Non-Stop Raiders 0.50
Orbital Racer 0.10
Orbital Racer 0.10
Out of Reach: Treasure Royale 0.10
Pandemic: The Board Game + Mutation + Roles & Events 4.00
Pathfinder: Kingmaker 4.00
Patron 2.50
PAYDAY 2 1.00
PAYDAY 2: F*ck Cancer - Big Mike Mask -
Perfect 0.50
Pikuniku 0.50
Pilgrims 0.30
Pill Baby 0.20
Pixplode 0.10
Pixross 0.20
Planescape: Torment: Enhanced Edition 1.50
Planet TD 0.20
PlateUp! 7.00
Police Stories 1.00
Project Chemistry 1.00
Quadrata 1.50
Radio Commander 0.20
Railway Empire 1.00
Rayon Riddles - Rise of the Goblin King 1.00
Red Faction: Armageddon 0.50
Remnants of Naezith 0.30
Renowned Explorers: International Society 0.50
Rescue Party: Live! 1.50
Rise of the Slime 2.00
River City Girls 4.50
Roarr! Jurassic Edition 0.10
RPG Maker VX 0.20
Rym 9000 0.10
Say No! More 0.20
Shing! -
Shooty Fruity 1.00
Slinger VR 0.10
Small World 2 + Be not Afraid + Cursed + Grand Dames 2.00
Songbringer 0.30
Songs of Iron 1.50
Soul Axiom Rebooted 2.00
Soul Searching 0.20
Soulblight 0.10
Soulflow 0.20
Space Crew: Legendary Edition 0.50
Splendor 1.50
Stacking 0.10
State of Decay 2 9.00
Staxel 2.00
Steel Rats 0.20
Stick Fight: The Game 2.00
stikir 0.10
STONE 1.50
Strange Brigade 1.50
Strange Brigade 1.50
Street Fighter V 2.50
Strider 0.50
Stygian: Reign of the Old Ones 0.30
Sunlight 0.20
Supraland Six Inches Under 5.00
Swords and Soldiers 2 Shawarmageddon 0.20
System Shock 2 0.40
System Shock: Enhanced Edition 0.40
Takelings House Party 0.50
Tales of the Neon Sea 1.00
Tales of the Tiny Planet 0.20
Tannenberg 1.25
Teacup 0.50
Telefrag VR 0.10
Terra Alia 2.50
The Almost Gone 1.00
The Amazing American Circus 0.10
The Amazing American Circus 0.10
The Curious Tale of the Stolen Pets 0.50
The Hong Kong Massacre 2.00
The Inner World 0.30
The LEGO Movie - Videogame 1.00
The LEGO NINJAGO Movie Video Game 2.00
The Smurfs - Mission Vileaf 6.00
The Textorcist: The Story of Ray Bibbia 0.50
The USB Stick Found in the Grass 0.10
The Wizards - Dark Times 2.00
Ticket to Ride 0.50
TIS-100 2.00
Titan Quest Anniversary Edition 3.00
Turbo Golf Racing 3.50
Ultra Street Fighter IV 1.50
Until You Fall 3.00
Vagante 1.20
Vault of the Void 5.00
Verdun 1.50
Warhammer 40,000: Gladius - Relics of War 2.00
Warhammer 40,000: Mechanicus 1.00
We are alright (Wszystko z nami w porządku) 0.10
West of Dead 0.30
while True: learn() 2.50
White Day: A Labyrinth Named School 1.75
Winkeltje The Little Shop 4.00
Worms Rumble 1.00
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack 0.20
X-Morph: Defense Complete Pack 0.20
XEL 0.40
Yoku's Island Express 0.50
Yonder The Cloud Catcher Chronicles 3.00
You Can Kana 3.50
Zombie Driver HD Complete Edition 0.10
SGS flair
IGS flair
submitted by OneWheelMan to SteamGameSwap [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:50 No_Win_3187 Am I a good friend?

We have been friends for over 5 years now and she is the only one that I kept in contact with even after college... Lately she has been going through a rough phase and me being a psychology student wanted to be there for her and also suggested she takes up therapy... Also i would from time to time tell her coping strategies like meditation, journaling, grounding techniques and those sort which could help her ... She would listen to me keenly and would even thank me ... All this time I treated her as a friend and not a client and so i wouldn't really think too much into how i put the information across... She says she can't write journal bcoz der s nothing to write about her day i suggested okay then listen to music, she wouldn't do that too i suggested she thinks of what works best for her ...but all she does is complain and self pitty ... I got frustrated and told her not to complain when she isn't ready to do anything about it ...i said that as just a friend..i didn't think of how she might take it ..... Tdy on call she starts crying and talks about how she s useless and can't do anything.... She kept talking very negatively and asked me if therapy is the only way out coz she doesn't want to take up.... I felt like maybe i was stressing her out or forcing her to take up therapy or do something...i even asked her if I'm being too pushy and she said no .... I don't understand...she says I'm not wrong but also she doesn't follow what I say ...she then says stuff that makes me feel like I'm pressurising her .. wen i ask her directly about it she says I'm not forcing her ....
It's been repeating ...i hate it coz she won't stop complaining and sulking about her pitty situation but also won't seek help elsewhere or even help herself... It's been stressing me out too ... Am I doing anything bad here ... I'm feeling as if I'm at fault
submitted by No_Win_3187 to bangalore [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:45 AutoModerator [Get] Biaheza – Dropshipping Course (COMPLETE) Full Course Download

[Get] Biaheza – Dropshipping Course (COMPLETE) Full Course Download
Get the course here:
[Get] Biaheza – Dropshipping Course (COMPLETE) Full Course Download
About The Course:
This course outlines the systems and secrets I used to make over $300,000+ in my first year with entrepreneurship
While I was still 17 years old…
And was also a high school dropout…
So what’s your excuse? It’s time to crush it.
I want you to take a moment and imagine a world where you could…
Never worry about money ever again. Build a six figure marketing agency and the best part? it’s a reality that all of my students are living RIGHT NOW. Take care of your family & loved ones. Yeah… this is something close to my heart. My marketing agency finally allowed me to take care of my mom and the people who believed in me when I had nothing. Travel the world, anytime! Yes… that’s right. After this course you will have the location freedom to travel anywhere in the world you want!
Now, who is the genius (kidding… kinda) behind this whole course?
Let me introduce myself, my name is Iman. At the age of Seventeen, I dropped out of high school to commit to the world of online marketing. Within my first year I had made over $300,000+, I had traveled the world working from my computer, I had constructed my dream lifestyle and this was all done through the power of what I teach in Six Figure SMMA. I run my own digital marketing agency based out here in London, although we have clients out in Amsterdam and St. Tropez.
I have my personal brand which is another six figure business…
Then I have a few other smaller income streams here and there. I love the internet! Haha
Damn… I worked hard for this life. I worked hard to create the sort of income where I can take care of my family and not even check the price…
I guess that’s why I’m so passionate about what I teach. It’s because it changed my life in unexplainable ways. I don’t think I could ever go back to my old life after living like this.
submitted by AutoModerator to GenkiCourses_2023 [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:44 multimorbid I(20F) took acid 2 months ago and I think I might actually be going insane. I’m terrified.

I(20F) have been having some troubling thoughts lately.. a bit of context:
I have tried a few things in my teen years, but not much. Stuff like alcohol and weed. I still smoke weed often, and drink occasionally. However I decided to try something new some months after turning 19.. acid. First shrooms, it was fun. I enjoyed it. Then I tried some acid in pill form which was fun too. Then tabs. The first two or three times where fine, I had a good time. It was a little scary but overall not too bad.
About 2 months ago me and my best friend decided we’d do acid while visiting my mom. My mom is really cool, very spiritual (third eye type shit) and has a lot of experience with acid. My moms brother(my uncle) was visiting, and he’s also all about that acid. My mom and my uncle decided to take a tab with us so we could all have a bit of fun. I took 200ug (I usually only take 70-100 cause my tolerance is LOW). At first it was fine, it was my best friends first time and I had fun observing him.
About 3 hours into the trip we’re sitting and watching Rick and Morty, when I suddenly can’t make sense of what they are saying at all. It all started turning into gibberish and random words, and the episode started falling apart for me. I didn’t understand anything. I thought it was a really weird episode (I’ve since watched it back and realized I was hallucinating hardcore)
After the episode was over I had to pee really bad, and went to the bathroom, however my uncle was passed out on the toilet asleep, he had been drinking and taking acid and was impossible to get out of there. I start worrying, I have to pee so bad, so I decided to go outside alone on a cold day at 4 in the morning. I find a spot behind my house and take a leak.. things are alright but I’m very uncomfortable and things look so weird around me. Everything is moving.
But then it happens. The one thing I had hoped would never happen to me. Ego Death. On my way up the stairs I black out and start feeling emotions I simply cannot describe. Emotions I’ve NEVER felt before. I regain consciousness but feel EXTREMELY OUT OF PLACE, as if my skin is loose and I’m not where I’m supposed to be. I crawl up the rest of the stairs and fall down on the couch. My best friend is sitting there and when I look at him he’s a stranger to me. I don’t really know who he is, because I can’t recognize his face (hallucinations made him all warped) so I just stare at him. I don’t register anything hes trying to tell me. The only person I’m aware of is my mom, who’s laying in her bed asleep. I feel like I don’t exist and I get REALLY freaked out. I mutter to the “stranger” on my couch that I have to find my mom. My best friend guides me to her bedroom and I lay down next to her, wake her up, and ask her to hold me. I am a 20 year old woman, but In that moment I was my moms little girl and I was terrified. So hold me she did. And it started collapsing for me. I didn’t think she was real, I didn’t think anything was real. I felt like I was trapped in my brain and it felt like years had passed while I was laying there. I couldn’t close my eyes. After 30 minutes of laying there the only thing I could think was “if I want this to end I have to kill myself”, and in my head I kept saying “this is it. I have lost my mind. I’ve gone insane I’ll spend the rest of my life in a ward”. it was so scary. My mom was comforting me as much as she could but I didn’t think she was real so the comfort felt like a figment of my imagination. It wasn’t very comforting.
Finally, after hours of pure hell, I fell asleep. And I slept for about 14 hours. When I woke up I felt weird. Not like, stomach pain and nausea and the general weird feeling of taking acid, but I felt… WEIRD. Still out of place. I was there physically but had a hard time pulling myself back mentally. My mom asked me to walk her through what happened and I did. She assured me this feeling would go away.. but it’s been 2 months and I sometimes still catch myself feeling out of place. Bigger than myself, something else. I feel like an alien sometimes. I don’t like it. I look at the people around me and feel like a fly on the wall. My depression is worse, my anxiety has gotten really bad, I feel ticcy and weary all the time.. and I feel mentally unstable, more than before.
I should also mention I suffer from various mental illnesses. Such as depression, anxiety, Borderline personality disorder, ADHD, tics, PTSD, and aggression issues.
I feel unwell. I need advice. Thanks for reading.
submitted by multimorbid to offmychest [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:44 autotldr Russia accused of taking Belarus ‘nuclear hostage’ with deal to station missiles there

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 75%. (I'm a bot)
Ukraine has accused Russia of destabilising Belarus and making its smaller neighbour into "a nuclear hostage" following Vladimir Putin's announcement that Moscow has made a deal to station tactical nuclear weapons on Belarusian territory.
Putin has repeatedly made nuclear threats or escalated nuclear rhetoric after the full invasion of Ukraine, but this is the first time he has announced a plan to station nuclear weapons in another country.
The US, the world's other nuclear superpower, played down concerns about Putin's announcement and the potential for Moscow to use nuclear weapons in the war in Ukraine.
"We have not seen any reason to adjust our own strategic nuclear posture nor any indications Russia is preparing to use a nuclear weapon. We remain committed to the collective defence of the Nato alliance," a senior US administration official said.
The official noted that Russia and Belarus had been speaking about the transfer of nuclear weapons for some time.
Analysts at the Washington-based Institute for the Study of War said in a note late on Saturday that the risk of escalation to nuclear war remained "Extremely low", adding: "ISW continues to assess that Putin is a risk-averse actor who repeatedly threatens to use nuclear weapons without any intention of following through in order to break Western resolve."
Summary Source FAQ Feedback Top keywords: nuclear#1 Putin#2 Ukraine#3 weapon#4 Russia#5
Post found in /worldnews, /viral, /AutoNewspaper and /GUARDIANauto.
NOTICE: This thread is for discussing the submission topic. Please do not discuss the concept of the autotldr bot here.
submitted by autotldr to autotldr [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:43 Unlucky-Set-6781 That awful feeling when other people are scared of you

This is really hard to explain, but I’m gonna try my best. I got into a scuffle with my boyfriend twice today, both over trust related reasons. I confronted him twice today about these things that are honestly stupid and not that bad, but for some reason it made me freak out and start crying. I haven’t spoken to him about it for the past few hours, I just ignored his last text.
For some reason, I view my relationships almost like a tally system. Kind of like a “three strikes you’re out” thing. Over the past couple of months, we have gotten into arguments. Not as bad as my past relationships, but one from early March was especially bad. In my mind, that thing counted. He seemed genuinely upset, and I felt it basically radiating off of him. I don’t know why I view the tally thing as valid, but with all my experience in relationships, there’s only a few things that you know count towards it’s end. Sometimes they’re so bad you know it’s a rocket right towards the pillars holding up your relationship. Most of my relationships have ended in relation to argument reasons.
I sometimes feel like a leech that tears away everything my partner is. The problem is that I don’t know how to stop it. I’ve been in therapy 7 years, at this point I feel like this is just who I am. I remember my boyfriend hesitating his words, compliments, conversation, etc. I asked him why and he basically replied that it’s because he’s scared how I’m going to react to it. I have a habit of blowing things out of proportion. He can’t even compliment me because he claims I wouldn’t believe him anyways. It hurts so much. I don’t want him to fear me or my reactions. I don’t want this as another tally on the chart towards a breakup. He’s a great person, I just feel like a fucking villain. He doesn’t deserve to be with someone who makes him feel so hopeless and trapped.
When I feel them grow distant from me, whether that’s physically or emotionally, it feels like I’ve already done too much. Like I’ve shown too much of my bad side and there’s no going back from it. I can’t redeem myself. This is where I feel like walking out and giving up. Like no matter what I do, they won’t ever view me the same as before. I hate that I keep doing this. Every time I try to seem emotionally stable or mature in a relationship, it never holds up. I’m so scared to be alone. I feel like at this point I won’t have a choice.
submitted by Unlucky-Set-6781 to BPD [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:42 koscheibesmertny Insomnia is making me gain weight and it's driving me crazy

I haven't done strict restriction in a long time - I've maintained a "safe" weight (healthy weight that I have come to terms with) for a while through a sort of intuitive restriction plus exercise. It's worked for years. I wouldn't call myself fully recovered, but I've definitely been clear of the worst of it for a long time.
Now suddenly it's not working anymore. I've been having a ton of trouble sleeping, and the weight gain started as soon as the insomnia did. Suddenly all my usual methods don't work. Cutting carbs, cutting sugar, increasing exercise, cutting snacks, tinkering with the size of lunch and dinner - all my front-line tactics for staying at my safe weight straight up aren't working anymore. I've completely quit weed and alcohol and my weight didn't budge one bit. I'm gonna have to start restricting again and I genuinely don't want to - I'm worried how it's going to affect my stress levels, my job performance, my libido, my relationships, I'm afraid it's gonna fucking worsen the insomnia. But my brain isn't gonna let me live at this weight.
submitted by koscheibesmertny to EDAnonymous [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:42 MinaMietin I want more freedom, what tools/services would you suggest?

Hi! I'm new to reddit, but made an account in hopes of getting more personal opinions than just googling articles. I hope I'm doing this posting thing right.
I'm a 21 year old autistic woman from Finland and I have major trouble leaving the house on my own. My biggest issue is anxiety, I'm so afraid of having a breakdown that I don't even want to try. For the record I've experienced panic attacks, anxiety attacks, sensory overloads and severe stomach issues while out there, so my fears aren't exactly unfounded. I've tried my best to power through the fears and work through that anxiety with my therapist, support people, and my mom's help. However although there are days I'm successful, it's not a progression as much as a rare good day. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to have the freedom I want unless I embrace my need for further assistance and tools.
Currently I'm looking into hiring a support person who'd drive to the city with me. As well as reading about service dogs. However I want to know if there are other options I might be missing! Do you have personal experience with those services? Or have you found something else that worked for you with similar issues?
submitted by MinaMietin to disability [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:36 cigar_dude First sober rave since going dry in May 2021

I just wanted to share this milestone victory to remind everyone that you can totally still have fun at a club without drinking.
I turned big 40 last Friday which was a big deal because it was my second birthday without drinking. For context and background I drank half gallons of cheap whiskey daily. Two years ago, May 18th 2021, I went dry and just white knuckled it without rehab or detox. I had to play it off at work and around people that I was just stressed or tired. On top of that my wife and I are also big into the techno, trance, and EDM Scene.
Since I quit when COVID was still going strong and clubs were closed we didn't really go out to clubs after I stopped drinking. I live in Miami and this year I knew that Miami Music Week was going to be sick! We saw that Resistance was opening a residency in South Beach and nothing was going to stop me from going! Resistance is one of the biggest club residencies in the world. They put on a huge stage at Ultra and during the Summer in Ibiza they do a weekly residency.
I'm at the point where I have no intentions of ever going back to drinking because of all of the progress I've made physically, professionally, and personally. Still, I wasn't sure how a sober night of clubbing was going to go for me. I used to pregame before going out and then at the club I would just order whatever alcohol I was in the mood for. It also gave me energy to stay out late.
Well we got to the club and immediately I parked myself right in front of the stage. First thing I noticed was that I wasn't going to the bar every 30 minutes, losing my place in front of the DJ, and then searching for my wife. The music was absolutely insane! Second thing I noticed was that I was still totally lost in my world by being blown away with the stage set up without alcohol. Third thing that I noticed was that I had MORE energy to party! I wasn't swaying back and fourth, bumping into other people, the DJ booth (yeah Paul Oakenfold was pretty pissed about that one in 2018 when played at Hyde Miami Beach), or completely sweating. I did visit the bar once to buy 2 Red Bulls, a water, and a pineapple juice. The bartender comped me the pineapple juice which he thought was pretty cool that I ordered. FYI, most bartenders I found will comp you juices from mixers for free so tip them well! Fourth thing I noticed was that it was 3AM before I knew it. I used to get bored when the alcohol was wearing off and would have to drink more in order to get that vibe back. The vibe was with me the entire night without alcohol. At 3 we finally left and made our way back home. The fifth and final thing that I noticed was that I was not a complete train wreck disaster the next morning. Wondering what I did the night before, trying to piece everything together, and dealing with my wife because I did something stupid which I didn't notice. It was a completely memorable experience without alcohol and gave me a huge boost of confidence because my biggest fear was missing out on parties and DJ sets because I gave up drinking.
The key take away I want to leave everyone with is that alcohol doesn't define fun at a party, club, or concert. It really doesn't. YOU set your own vibe, not the alcohol. If you're like me and thinking that you won't have fun or do the same social activities anymore because you're giving up alcohol that's not the case. I enjoyed the experience even more and made a memorable experience without alcohol. Oh and I saved about $200 that night as well! Lastly, there were other ravers not drinking. That's something you notice when you stop drinking is that surprisingly there are a TON of people who don't drink at clubs.
Anyways, thank you for reading and best of luck to everyone on your journey here! It's hard at first when life throws little tests of resilience at you but once you get through them in your initial stages you get rewarded beyond belief!
submitted by cigar_dude to dryalcoholics [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:35 tourantino Going back for a second bachelors in EE?

Hi everyone, I am an embedded software engineer with a degree in computer science and statistics from a Canadian university. I would very much like to get more into analog circuit design for embedded systems and scientific instruments. I've been an electronics hobbyist and enthusiast for a while and have slowly been building up my knowledge, but of course there is a lot I don't know, so I'm wondering how to best go about this career change. Should I just get a second bachelors, or are there alternate paths I should consider?
Below is a more detailed breakdown of my education.
Calculus 1, 2, 3 (single variable, multivariable)
Linear Algebra
Mathematical Statistics
Stochastic Processes
Discrete Mathematics
Physics I and II (calculus based mechanics and E&M)
CS: Operating Systems, Computer Organization (covered foundations of digital logic and circuits), Machine Learning, Algorithms, many other programming and theory courses.
Beyond this, I'm self taught in DSP and circuits. I completed MIT's circuits courses on OCW, been working through AoE and the lab manual, learning how to use oscilloscopes and logic analyzers for work, etc.
submitted by tourantino to AskEngineers [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:35 PastaSauceVampire Books where both the FMC and MMC have put a wall around their hearts because of their life experiences but fall intensely in love with each other which is a scary and surreal feeling for both of them?? + too much sexual tension (Specifics below)

A lyric that best describes what I want:
"If you hold me without hurting me, you'll be the first who ever did" (Cinnamon Girl by Lana Del Rey)
So I want books where both the FMC and MMC have been through quite a lot in their lives. Maybe they loved someone too much and it ended up hurting them or maybe they were the eldest sibling who had to take care of their family after a parent's death? Idk lol. Anything that makes a person stone cold and put a wall around their heart so as to not be hurt by love again.
FMC and MMC both fall in love with each other intensely. They keep denying it because love is a scary feeling for them and they don't want to ever be hurt again. It's a 'wtf?? why am I feeling this way' kind of feeling for them. But they also realize that they've never loved someone so much and it feels so right. But ofcourse it's very hard to break down the walls and accept it.
I'm also not a huge fan of insta love. I want a slow buildup. Not necessarily slow burn but it should atleast be realistic and believable that it takes quite some time to understand someone and love them for who they are.
I also don't want the FMC/MMC's major focus to be on how PHYSICALLY handsome or beautiful the other looks. A major focus should be on how they look even more beautiful because of the kind of person they are.
I also need a lottt of sexual tension. Like a lotttt but nothing physical happens until the very end. Even if there's just one sex scene, it's totally fine but it should be worth it and intenseee just like their love for each other.
Books don't need to be a 100% specific but if anything even just reminds you of whatever I've written, please recommend!
Thank you!!
submitted by PastaSauceVampire to RomanceBooks [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:34 Batemoh My(19F) boyfriend (22M) is depressed and it’s taking a toll on me and our relationship

I’m not here for judgement about our age gap or how he is this or that, please spare me from it.
My boyfriend is not from my country and we live in my country’s capital but still many people don’t speak English, so he’s been saying he feels lonely and isolated. We’ve been together for 1.5 years now, and he is my everything. He was my first in most things, but sadly I wasn’t the first for him in anything.
This immediately came with some problems as he mistrusts women terribly. He comes with a lot of baggage about that, while I have 0 experience in a relationship much less how to gain someone who by default mistrusts me’s trust. We moved in together after about 3 months, as I had to leave my home and we’ve been together since. Things have been hard, but it’s been getting so much harder recently.
He has always had problems with me not doing enough, not giving enough love. I told him I loved him today and he said “If only that were true” when I said it was he just replied “Too little too late”. He says I refuse to improve but I’ve been doing my best, but I am graduating high school this year, my dad died in October so I’ve had to work, and in general I just don’t sleep enough so I’m tired.
He also works a lot because he started his own card game store recently, but I helped with the establishment of it, and I always offer to help but he refuses. He just asks me to go here email this guy, nothing that lightens his workload significantly.
So how I try to help is by cooking food, cleaning the house, getting things in order, but every time I make the smallest mistake he blows up at me and recently that’s been every night. And then he complains he feels I don’t show him enough love, I don’t make him feel at home, or like I care about him. And the cycle just goes on, the next day I try to ignore what happened the day before, and then he tells me how I am shit for ignoring what happened the day before. If I suggest not going to a vacation with him, he just tells me he has an image to uphold that he is happy and alive, when he doesn’t care if he lives or dies.
I don’t know what to do, because I love him. Please help
submitted by Batemoh to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:31 ndsndmnyderc ex slave tranny fuck videos man and boy sex naked samus games big brother sex on tv iggy azalea sex tape reddit couples having oral sex nude cam app daughter father sex xnxx best celeb wet pussy erect clit blow up doll sex gay hookup dating download sex emoji for whatsapp big ass pussy fuc

submitted by ndsndmnyderc to vosjdnjdnedc1 [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:30 MinaMietin Is a service dog what I need?

I hope this is the right place and right way to ask for this! I've lurked but actually posting is totally new to me.
I'm a 21 year old autistic woman from Finland and I have major trouble leaving the house on my own. My biggest issue is anxiety, I'm so afraid of having a breakdown that I dont even want to try. For the record I've experienced panic attacks, anxiety attacks, sensory overloads and severe stomach issues while out there, so my fears aren't exactly unfounded. I've tried my best to power through the fears and work through that anxiety with my therapist, support people, and my mom's help. However although there are days I'm successful, it's not a progression as much as a rare good day. I've come to the conclusion that I'm not going to have the freedom I want unless I embrace my need for further assistance and tools.
Which leads me to the topic of this sub! I'm wondering if a service dog could help me, or if they'd be more troublesome.
  1. What kind of tasks could one be trained for? Could a service dog recognize when I should drop everything and head to the bathroom before I myself know? Would one sit with me while I suffer with that and/or a panic attack?
  2. If I already struggle going out even with the company of my mother (who makes me the least nervous,) could a dog really help? On one hand a dog would be more often available than her, so I wouldn't have to only go out on weekends (more chances to go out on a good day!), but on the other hand the dog cant drive. (Bus systems are amazing in my city, but I get nervous without a solid escape plan.)
  3. I have a pet cat. Any experiences with that combo?
Thank you! I'm mostly looking for personal thoughts, but I'm all for official resources as well.
submitted by MinaMietin to service_dogs [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:29 ShukiNathan 20[M4F] - Israel - looking for a serious relationship

Hi! I'm a 20 years old studying mechatronics engineering through the atuda program, and also work part time at my family's ranch.
My hobbies include: reading, video games, basketball, bowling, volleyball.
About me: I'm around 182m tall, brown hair and eyes. Slightly above average looking.
What I look for: a best friend, my second half, and just someone I could spend every day together. Ideally between 18-20, but slightly older isn't a deal breaker.
submitted by ShukiNathan to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:28 Nanikarp how do i make myself read the stories of my best friend?

my best friend doesnt have adhd, but shes -ve8/ry- familiar with it through me. she knows my brain inside and out and knows and understands what i struggle with. i love her to death and this issue pains me a great deal.
she loves to write stories, mostly fanfiction about her favorite game apex legends. this game is not really of interest to me, i suck at fps games, i suck at online competitive games and its just not my jam. as such, i dont know most of the lore and characters from that game as deeply as she does. she tells me about all the stories she writes, and sends them to me when i ask for them. when i ask, i do so with the genuine intention to read them, but i can never muster the motivation and willpower to actually read them.
i used to be an avid reader when i was younger, tho over the years ive become even more particular in what i can and cannot read. a story has to have the right vibes, writing style, pacing, everything needs to be Just Right for me to be able to get myself through it. and fanfiction is even worse, i need to Know the characters, i need to be able to see the characters do whatever they do in the story and my suspension of belief is thrown off very quickly if writers dont get that Just Right. because i dont know apex legends, i dont Know the characters and i cant see them do whatever my best friend writes for them. also, something about reading things (stories, poetry, songs, etc) written by people i know makes my brain want to eat itself. i would love to know how to fix that in general.
yesterday she told me shes losing her motivation to write because she gets very little reaction to her stories. i know im a contributing factor to that and i feel awful about it. whenever i apologize for not reading something shes sent me, she tells me not to worry about it because she knows me and my brain. i love her for that, but i would also love to just be able to make myself do this for her.
does anyone have any advice?
submitted by Nanikarp to adhdwomen [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:28 lolpolice88 Moe mai ra e te Toa. Kane Te Tai honourably fought to defend Ukraine from the fascist, Neo-Conservative Christian Putinist regime & the cynical manipulations of debt-finance driven USA. These murderous ideologies must be overthrown and cooperation & tech made to heal & bring peace. Donate to No Duff

Donate to his veterans support charity No Duff if you can, it will go to his daughtewhanau, to return his body and continue his enduring kaupapa, which will help other whanau in this conflict and others.

No Duff Charitable Trust Givealittle page:

Kane Te Tai remembered as man of honour committed to aiding Ukraine
Whānau and friends of slain soldier Kane Te Tai say he will return home as a warrior in life and death, and be remembered as a man who always fought for what was right.
RNZ understands the body of the slain New Zealand soldier has officially been identified as Te Tai and is now being transferred to Kyiv.
He is understood to have been killed while clearing a trench in the Vulhedar area of Ukraine.
Sources have told RNZ he had moved deeper into the trench, away from his team, when he was killed by Russian soldiers.
His team were forced to leave his body there, before Ukrainian marines went in and recovered him overnight.
Veteran support and advocacy group No Duff is now working to ensure a New Zealander can be available to escort his body through the country to the Polish border, before travelling with him for his final journey home.
Comrades and friends have said they believed it was important a Kiwi was always with him, but the process would not be simple.
Te Tai co-founded No Duff with Aaron Wood, who told Midday Report his mother had asked them to manage the journey home.
"We're pulling all the pieces together. A number of volunteers and interested people from New Zealand, all the way through to Ukraine and in between, are coming together to make this happen."
It was highly likely they would be able to bring him home, Wood said, but there were numerous jurisdiction challenges ahead.
Deeply respected during time in Ukraine
Te Tai joined the Defence Force after leaving high school and went on multiple deployments while serving in the 2/1 Royal Battalion.
He left the Army in 2010 and travelled to Ukraine in April last year, operating under the call sign 'Turtle'.
Te Tai was a prominent character in the warzone and was widely followed on social media.
His colleagues described him as well-known and deeply respected for his professionalism, skill, leadership and relentless sense of humour.
They said he never underestimated the importance of his job, or the lives he held in his hands.
His death marks the third New Zealander to be killed in the combat - after the deaths of his best friend Dominic Abelen and humanitarian Andrew Bagshaw.
Te Tai had become the unofficial expert for New Zealanders in Ukraine, often acting as the point of contact for Kiwis wanting to travel to the warzone. He would ensure people knew what they were signing up for, a way to get into the country and a unit to go to.
He admitted in an interview with RNZ his initial motivations for going there were selfish, but that changed quickly on arrival.
The soldier became an infamous figure in the war, often featuring on Russian propaganda sites - seen by RNZ - particularly the Wagner group, who put a NZ$11 million price tag on his head.
In a conversation with friends he joked about ratting himself out for the money, illustrating his sense of humour.
Te Tai always said to his friends he was not afraid to die, but he also was not afraid to live.
During nearly a full year in Ukraine, he garnered respect from people in all walks of life. He volunteered with Ukrainian families, taught civilians how to fight and eventually found a spot at the frontline as one of the team's leaders.
Te Tai said he was fiercely protective of his team and did anything to make sure they were safe.
During one mission in August 2022, his best friend, Abelen, was killed in trench warfare. In an interview after the mission, Te Tai said the team were unable to get his body back and it ended up in Russian hands, but that did not stop him from trying.
He told RNZ they only stopped because Abelen would not have wanted them killed in the process.
Just last week Te Tai posted on social media, revealing that while clearing a Russian position he had found a "long lost friend" who had wanted to visit New Zealand.
Te Tai had thought his friend was dead and was amazed to find him alive, describing it as a "Hollywood moment".
He said at first he did not recognise the man, who had been shot four times and was skinny.
"He'd been starved by Russians for two months and drinking anti-freeze because the Russians wanted a laugh."
The man did not want to be left with the Ukrainians, but Te Tai had to keep fighting. He promised he would return and walk him personally to hospital.
That was exactly what he did, he said.
'The people grow on you'
In that August interview with RNZ, Te Tai said he had fallen in love with the country and its people, and was deeply respectful of their resolve.
"I was sort of getting a bit bored of being at home... and coming into this conflict was just one of those things that selfishly I thought I could be close to the war without getting too entangled.
"But then that sort of changes... I've met so many people, I've been everywhere in this country and the place grows on you, the people grow on you, and their strength, and that's why I'm still here."
Te Tai said he was prepared to leave everything in Ukraine, but in the weeks before his death he had made moves to return home.
His mother said he always kept her up to date, ending the calls with "I love you Mum", but more recently it was like "I'll see you soon".
In a Facebook message to another friend he said he loved Ukraine, but it was time to start living a real life - "gotta put the toys away and start to build while I can", he said.
"That's enough war for me, I love this place, it's like a playground where I can do anything I want.
"But that's the problem isn't it? So before the game gets me or before I decide that life here is too easy, maybe it's time to start living my real life.
"This place is pure escapism, we are all trying to run from something, mine is from having a real life, but the time is near."
Passionate about the cause
Te Tai is being remembered by his friends and comrades as a man of honour who was passionate about his cause, always doing everything he could to protect people.
Longtime friend Aaron Wood described Te Tai as a beautiful man, who he loved to bits.
"He just wanted people to live their best lives and he wanted to help as many people as he could.
"That sounds like a cliché, but with him it's a truism. That's his whole life... Just serving people, that's what he did, that's what his message was."
That was what he died doing, Wood said.
His mum, Ngaire Te Tai, said there was never any talking him out of it.
"He never did anything by halves, my son. We tried to stop him, but he had his mind made up, that's just Kane.
"When you were around him, you just felt safe."
A gift she said she knew he spread much further than just Ukraine.
Ngaire Te Tai's final comment about her eldest boy was: "Don't let my son's death be in vain."
He leaves behind a 12-year-old daughter.
“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t find anything glorious about killing young mobilised Russian boys who are crying in their trenches”

The shelling is so close it makes you puke, says Kiwi fighting in Ukraine

A Kiwi soldier fighting under Ukraine’s military intelligence says he’s prepared to die.
Kane Te Tai, code name Turtle, is fighting in a secretive reconnaissance unit on Ukraine’s front line in the eastern Donetsk region.
After deaths, injuries and resignations, Te Tai now leads the Foreign Reconnaissance Team after only joining in July.
A December article in The New Yorker magazine revealed the existence of the unit and featured Turtle.
It’s the same unit that 28-year-old Kiwi Dominic Abelen was fighting in when he was killed in August, and the two were like brothers.
Te Tai’s unit has set up a PayPal to fundraise for vehicles it needs to move around its area of operation, near the town of Pavlivka.
As Te Tai was interviewed, he had to be careful his phone wasn’t too bright, so as to not give his unit away to any Russian drones flying overhead.
“We live on the line, we just occupy whatever place we can find at the time. If it gets too hot we just find somewhere else,” he told Stuff.
His unit’s job is primarily reconnaissance, a small mobile force that could reach into Russian land or no-man’s land between the trenches, and destroy a tank or hold a position, before the Ukrainian army moved in.
“Find it, locate it, observe it, report it, attack it.”
Good 4x4 vehicles are a necessity.
Donetsk is known for farming and coal production, and Te Tai described the land as similar to the Canterbury plains.
Soldiers try and use the tree lines separating the fields for cover, and trench systems are built through them.
During the winter, the roads and fields are muddy, pocked by craters from Russian artillery barrages.
The Foreign Reconnaissance Team can get the necessities of war – food, bombs, clothing, bullets - just fine.
Reliable working vehicles and parts, and enough for an emergency stockpile, are harder to come by.
The Foreign Reconnaissance Team is reliant on vehicles driven into Ukraine from throughout Europe by volunteers and paying for them with donated money.
“You can use that vehicle until it is blown up or you crash it, unfortunately both those things happen all the time,” Te Tai said.
“The last three vehicles we’ve had, in the last month, they’ve been hit with artillery. Holes in the front, s... just smashed through.”
Unlike the famous International Legion Battalion, which tens of thousands of foreigners have joined since the start of the war, the Foreign Reconnaissance Team is for some of the highly-trained foreign few.
Te Tai served a tour in Afghanistan for the New Zealand Defence Force and thinks of himself as having spent his whole life training to fight.
His team is given autonomy, building trust with local Ukrainian commanders to find out what they want and then formulating missions.
Te Tai was able to talk about one operation the Foreign Reconnaissance Team conducted during a December battle in Pavlivka, first described in the New Yorker article.
Te Tai and a small team of a half-dozen were set to cross a bridge at night and enter a tree line which ran into the centre of the town.
The mission was to see how close they could get to the Russian positions before they were fired on.
“The moment that we got onto the bridge, everything just opened up, rockets, missiles everything. We ran across this bridge and were just trying to scramble to the safest nearest spot.”
Te Tai’s team managed to get into the tree line and into a trench – all in the dark – but the Russians began to shell progressively towards them down the tree line.
“I remember just looking at everyone in the pit and we all had this look on our faces like, ‘well, the party had to end some time’. We had this feeling of acceptance.”
But, just as the next shell was set to kill the team, it flew off somewhere else and the Russians then began to bomb regressively back along the tree line.
“By divine intervention we missed getting smashed... We all knew we were supposed to die that night.”
Before joining Foreign Reconnaissance, Te Tai was working for a church training Ukrainians in basic military skills.
He was open with people back in New Zealand about what he was experiencing, including old army colleagues.
Te Tai described an environment where Kiwis in Ukraine often stayed in touch and worked together, including Dominic Abelen who contacted Te Tai before making the trip.
When Abelen said that he was set to join the International Legion Battalion, Te Tai told Abelen he was hearing bad stories.
“You go there as a foreigner, you get given a weapon, some ammunition, and sit inside a trench and you fight or die, that’s how it’s portrayed.
“People would tell us: 'Thank you for training my son, he didn’t make it back, but I felt he was better off than he was before’,” he said.
Abelen, now with the nickname Tolkien, made his way into the Ukrainian army, but managed to get taken into Ukrainian military intelligence.
Talking to Abelen about what he was doing, Te Tai had had enough of training soldiers and the 37-year-old felt like he was running out of time to fight.
“I told him [Abelen], ‘I’ll jump in with you too’.
“And he [Abelen] was like ‘thank God, cool man’,” said Te Tai.
He ended the volunteer work and a recruiter told Te Tai to get to Lviv where he entered a secretive military intelligence training camp.
Recruits weren’t allowed to use their phones and were closely evaluated for a two-week period.
“Pretty much from the second they take you into the camp, they don’t tell you what’s going on.
“They operate it like a psychological test, to see if you can be just told what to do and not know any other parameters,” he said.
Access to weapons was heavily restricted and there was heavy scrutiny as Ukrainian officials went through candidates’ records and social media, trying to weed out spies and the weak.
“When you talk to someone, it’s always a cover story, you’re never talking to who you think you’re talking to,” Te Tai said.
Then, one morning in July, officials gave Te Tai a contract and drove him to the Foreign Reconnaissance Team in Donetsk.
“As soon as we pulled up... Dom had no shirt on... he said, ‘let’s do some work’.”
“I was like ‘my man!’.”
Abelen had put in a good word for him with Ukrainian intelligence, Te Tai said.
He gave Te Tai the code name of Turtle, after he had originally named himself Talon. Talon was too cool, Abelen said.
Te Tai described new troops arriving for the unit as a big event, a celebration of strengthening the group after the fighting took its toll.
“There’s a high attrition rate either by death, injury, or guys wanting to leave.”
The Foreign Reconnaissance Team currently operates out of a house, planning their missions on a whiteboard.
“We’re normally strapped for time. If we’re not out working we are resting, or we are giving instructions.”
Te Tai said there aren’t ranks in the unit, so while he is the team’s leader, he sits on the same step as the other foreigners in the unit.
He eats Ukrainian food: soups like borscht, and two-minute noodles and toast.
At night Te Tai watches Netflix and YouTube fail compilations to decompress. Sometimes, he hears the Russians shelling, keeping him awake.
When you’re fired on by artillery, you can hear the lifespan of the shell, he said.
He described how shells left the Russian gun with a distant duh-boom, screeching through the air, before exploding somewhere on the Ukrainian side of the line.
Some shells landed far away, but some hit so close to soldiers that the concussion made them puke and made them feel sick for the next day, he said.
“That shit happens like every week.”
About six weeks after Te Tai joined the unit, Abelen was killed during a mission.
“It pissed me off more than anything, it just consolidated for me that I’m not leaving any time soon.”
Te Tai said Abelen didn’t have a death wish, but he was a soldier and fighting was what he had trained for his whole life.
“I could have told him, ‘you are going to die today’ and he would have been like ‘it’s a good day to die’, that’s just who he was.”
Killing didn’t weigh on Te Tai’s mind, he said. He described it as part of the job, and said his views hadn’t changed since Abelen’s death.
“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t find anything glorious about killing young mobilised Russian boys who are crying in their trenches,” he said.
“I’m willing to die, for sure, but I don’t want to die.”
Te Tai has no plans to leave and wants to attend a victory day parade in Kyiv.
“I know we’re going to win, I know that for sure,” he said.
“I’m staying here until I can’t take it any more, or I am dead.”
submitted by lolpolice88 to Maori [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:27 xiezero Beating compulsive porn use, don't know how to handle extreme kinks/fantasies that I don't want to explore with my SO

Content Warning: BDSM, furry fantasies, extreme fantasies (rape, bestiality)
About 5 weeks ago, I decided I needed to change something about my porn use. At that time, it was consuming 20-30% of my waking time, which was decidedly too much. I currently have a lot of free time in general, and it ate up a lot of that. I came across the EasyPeasy Method on PornAddiction and read through the entire book. I followed the instructions as best as I could, and quit porn completely for 3 weeks. I continued to fap about once a day (which was less than before, where I came about two times a day on average, counting sex). The first week or so was really weird, but then I got used to fapping to fantasies and it felt okay. I definitely finished way faster than before when alone, and also generally started enjoying sex more.
In these 3 weeks, I reflected a lot on my behaviour towards porn. I noticed that, without porn, my urge to sleep with other people emerged again, and I had thoughts about cheating, although I would never, ever actually do that to my SO. The way I had previously consumed porn had had even more adverse effects, though. That's why I decided that I wanted to find a responsible way to consume porn without becoming truly addicted again. Currently, I have three boorus with extensive blocklists, which means I can safely view softcore porn there. I defined "softcore" like this: one girl, can be nude, no sexual act. Every once in a while, I stumble across a badly tagged picture or video that slips through my filter, but I'm generally not interested and move on to the next. Right now, I'm limiting myself to using this once a day, but I am noticing that I want to use multiple times a day often, esp. when I'm stressed. With this solution, I'm still enjoying sex as much as I was when not using porn, because it's something that doesn't occur in the porn I'm watching. I'm using a little more of my time than I needed when I didn't use porn, but a lot less than before.
However, I still have a lot of fantasies that I can't nor want to explore with my SO. Previously, I had consumed lots of fictional (drawn or animated) media depicting rape and/or bestiality and I still have those fantasies. I have explored light-ish bondage and SM with my SO, as rigger and as both dom and sub, and we both genuinely enjoy that. I would never actually do anything non-consensually irl, nor anything related to bestiality. I also do not fantasize about doing these things irl, if that makes any sense. I had some experiences in the past where my own boundaries were disrespected, I know what that's like and I would never want to do that to someone else. I take the utmost care to know and respect the boundaries of my SO. I have told my SO a while ago that I'm into furry-on-human stuff, and they said something like "I don't know what to say about that, but thank you for telling me" which left me with a bad feeling. I'm afraid they wouldn't accept or understand how I can be into fictional bestiality but not irl.
I don't really feel bad about these fantasies in general, but it feels wrong not being able to tell my SO about it. I thought that they would get weaker over time if I didn't consume anything related to them, but I'm still craving those media and I'm not sure what to do with that.
Porn games were also a big part of my porn usage before I cut back, and a part of me craves those especially. I do feel like they were even more addictive than any other type of porn, because they linked porn to instant gratification.
Edit/PS: Interestingly, I was never really that interested in BDSM porn, although I do pursue it a bit irl. I watched some, but it was a small minority of the content I consumed.
submitted by xiezero to sex [link] [comments]

2023.03.26 13:27 Mr_Tru_Blue A little extreme for a fine

Was riding my bike with a pillion passenger while on green p’s the other week. We weren’t speeding. We weren’t revving the bike for attention. Weren’t weaving in and out of traffic, or filtering or anything of the sort.
However, as they sometimes do, the p plate on the back of my back had come off. You could still see the plastic attached to the zip ties, and plastic clip on the back of the bike to stop it coming off. I didn’t even realise it had come off until the hwypatrol officer pointed it out.
He thought also, that anyone riding with with a pillion must have a full license, which isn’t correct, and when asked if I could show it, I pointed to the nsw services website, where restrictions for p1 holders include pillions, however this restriction isn’t listed for p2 holders. Was actually the original reason he pulled me over.
So we sat in the back of his car for quite awhile, while he looked through his infringement system, the riders handbook, the website and eventually the legislation (which I read on account of when I first moved to NSW from QLD my car license was on p2’s and I wanted to know about the speed limit restriction thing), and found nothing to support him on pillion restrictions for p2 riders, said he’d let me on my way, but that I’d be getting a $283 ticket and 2 demerit points for the p plate. Despite, carrying a spare and fixing it as soon as noticed.
This seems extraordinarily excessive, and as I’m about to move up to Queensland in a week, I can’t really ask for leniency in court when I’m a million miles away working. In today’s economy, that’s a hell of a lot of money, and considering that in Queensland I’m instantly upgraded to a rider class (re) o almost pointless.
Does anyone have any suggestions? Money’s bloody tight, time even tighter.
This post isn’t me saying f*ck the police, just a bit annoyed I’m being railroaded over something I fixed on the spot, despite being on my best behaviour to!
submitted by Mr_Tru_Blue to nsw [link] [comments]