Niagara falls ny hotels with fallsview

I never thought I would use Reddit for this, but here I am. I want to start out by saying how much I appreciate this community and the support everyone provides. I lost my Grandpa on 2/14/23, and reading posts on here helps me to see that other people handle their grief in different ways. The non-grieving world keeps turning and we are expected to put our loss behind us and function normally. Reading about how others have experienced sorrow, anger, guilt, and all of the other emotions lets me know that there is no certain way to grieve. I'm not sure why I wanted to post this now since it has been over a month since my Grandpa passed. I guess I just wanted to share our story to add to the community and if it helps me and someone else with a similar experience then I consider it being worth it.
I was brought into the home of my grandparents when I was 8 years old due to my dad falling into drug addiction after the passing of my mom from cancer. My Grandpa made a promise to my Mom before she passed that he would make sure I was taken care of. They raised me as their own son, got me through school and college, and have supported my adult profession as a police officer. My Grandpa was a retired firefighter and when he loved that I was a police officer. He even did a ride along with me, and was planning on doing another one. I'm 31 now, and my Grandpa was 85. Even up until the last few weeks of his life, he was always very active. He did exercises everyday and went on long walks. I've always seen him as the strongest man I know. One of our favorite things to do together was to go and shoot his guns that he bought and collected.
Several years ago my Grandpa was diagnosed with a skin cancer on the top of his head. Every time a new spot popped up, it usually just required some radiation treatments and then life would go back to normal. In 2022, it became more aggressive though, but the doctor made it seem that it was still treatable. This time he had to do a combination of chemotherapy and radiation. It was very hard on him for an 85 year old man, and he wasn't able to do much due to the sickness and fatigue. He eventually had to stop the chemotherapy and was able to finish the radiation treatments. Everything appeared to be going back to normal at the end of 2022, and we were able to enjoy Christmas together one last time. In January 2023 though, he had a seizure at home which we initially thought was a stroke. At the hospital, they found out that it was actually a seizure and his scans showed that there were cancerous lesions in his brain from the cancer spreading. When he got out of the hospital, we immediately made an appointment with his cancer physician. His doctor told us that he would try to treat it, but it would require 10 back to back radiation treatments every single day. He told us that since the cancer (angiosarcoma) had now spread to his brain, that the radiation treatments would have more of an effect on him since it was no longer just on the surface of his head. But everything seemed hopeful and we decided to go through with the treatments.
My grandparents got a hotel room in the city where the hospital was, since it was an hour and a half drive away. It happens to be the same city I live in. I was able to spend almost every day with him, besides when I had to be at work. We went to a pipe tobacco store, a gun store, several restaurants, and spent time together in the hotel room. I'll never take that time for granted. The treatments went well, until about halfway through he became very tired and had lost a lot of weight. But this was to be expected. On the last day of treatment, he was having a hard time walking, and needed to use a cane, which he never used. As my grandparents left to go back home, I just thought that once he got back to the comfort of his own home, he could rest and would eventually start eating more again once the radiation effects wore off.
The next morning, I got a phone call that he had collapsed and had to go to the hospital where they live. I felt terrible. I still feel terrible. I'm so mad at myself for not recognizing that he was so weak and sick, and I should have went home with them to help take care of him and to encourage him to eat and drink. Apparently he collapsed from dehydration, and he went from the emergency department to the ICU. When I arrived at the hospital and found out he was in the ICU, I was told it was because of the medications he was being administered to stabilize his blood pressure. We then found out that he had went into septic shock from a perforated colon caused by diverticulitis. I didn't even know that he had that. As he spent more days in the ICU, the nurses found out that he had bed sores when they took him for an MRI. And now as I am writing this I am starting to tear up because I knew how much he hated MRIs. And he had it done for nothing. The nurses even bumped his head when doing the scan which tore a part of his skin away since his head was so tender from the radiation. He didn't deserve that.
After a few days in the ICU, his vitals appeared to be better and they took him off of the medications, except for the antibiotics. They put him in a different unit, and that's when it all went downhill. He started getting really sick, saying that his stomach hurt, and he didn't want to eat or drink anything. I tried to encourage him to eat and drink, but he was in too much pain. As time went on, he started breathing really heavy, did not want to try and get out of bed, and stopped talking. I don't want to go into all of the details, because it's really difficult for me to relive them and I'm still processing them. After a few days in that unit, his vitals and labs were bad again, and we were told that he would either have to go back to ICU and be put on life support, or we could let them give him some medicine to ease the pain so that he could go restfully. We decided as a family that it would have been cruel to extend his suffering and we know he wouldn't want to have been put on life support. We had to watch him take his last breath, and as traumatizing as it was, I couldn't leave him and let him be alone. After everything he has done for me, that was the least I could do.
After his passing the next few days were a blur. I never imagined that I would have to plan my Grandpa's funeral. Finding pallbearers, picking out a casket, picking out music, putting together the photos for the slideshow, and writing the tribute. Now that the funeral has been over for over a month, and people try to go back to their normal lives, it hurts even more. My job as a police officer is especially hard for me to go back to. I have to try and put on a straight face for the public, so in between calls I'm usually about to burst into tears so I have to go find a solitary place. At least that's one good part about my job. I can just go drive to a secluded area like a park and get my tears out. I know that most of you on here probably don't have that luxury and I'm sorry that you may have to try and hold it in for a full work day. Everything I see around me at work reminds me of him. I drive by the hospital where he was receiving cancer treatments just about every shift I work. It just feels so unreal that he was there just not that long ago.
I know that he lived to be 85, and that's a long good life. It just still feels like it was so sudden. And maybe that is better than a slow, suffering death from the spread of cancer. But he was my everything. He was my Grandpa, my Dad, and my best friend. And now I have to live the rest of my life without him here. The days feel so dark now. I was having a lot of dreams about him the days after his passing, but they don't happen much anymore. I have cried every day since he passed, but the feeling is becoming more of a numb feeling of sadness with periods of anger. I get angry at the nurses and doctor that seemed to have neglected him in the hospital after he left the ICU. I trusted the people who were medically trained to take care of him, and didn't speak up enough for him while he was in the hospital. I feel guilty for not spending more time with him while I could, for not recognizing how negatively the radiation treatments were affecting him. I know that he wouldn't want me to feel this way, but I feel like I failed him and he could still be here with me today. But then I tell myself, it would only be a matter of time until something else happened or the cancer spread again. We can't live forever.
I always thought that my faith was strong and I was a spiritual person, until this happened. Your beliefs really are challenged when going through the loss of a loved one. It's went from a hopeful "I believe because an afterlife sounds nice and I hope I get there" to a desperate "I hope that my loved isn't non-existent now and that their soul is still alive and I can see them again". I just can't think of my Grandpa being nothing now. He was so much more than just a physical body. I have to believe that he's still out there somewhere.

25 yo lived with my parents (common thing for asian family), running the family business as my job (hotel chain)
So my parent is notorious for falling into scam cause they don't understand English, and they are pretty conspiracy minded, but we have pretty good relationships.
So it was a business trip when they brought me into a pretty run-down clinic in a quite small town. they said they are doing a "stem cell" treatment, of crouse they didn't tell me in advance cause last time they did. I prevented them from getting scam in a "ozone blood cleansing" treatment. (literally ban in many countries and people have died from it)
This time, it was a "stem cell" shot therapy. The place was pretty crowded, so i got down to do my research about this therapy.
The doctor who did it is a professor who wrote a research paper detailing the treat he basically extract stem cell in the placenta of mouse and inject them to a mouse with broken legs, and it heal faster...
so it works ?
Well, no cause, he only did it with mice, never with humans, so why not do human testing ? well, he can't cause he is a veterinarian, not a human doctor or researcher
Yet he basically applies that to human Get a placenta from poor people in the hospital who can't pay for its disposal to extract its "stem cell" and inject it into his patients There is no license for it or official human testing he just using his patients unknowingly for his treatment of human trials/testing
This doctor ever gets arrested and sued, but since it's a third-world country, he bribes his way out
government has been warnings about fake stem cell treatment stating that outside certified hospitals listed the rest are fake
Also, he advertised it as a stem cell, but when confronted, he said it was a protein shot so he wouldn't get sued again Also, the price of this shady "stem cell" treatment is suspiciously cheap, less than 20 dollars a shot
So it's my turn to get the "stem cell" shot i rejected it My parents were livid, we had an argument, and my father and i took it outside the clinic
He said he is doing it for me. Why iam I am not respecting his decision. I don't even respect him now when he is paying for it. How about later when you got a family. That iam shaming him infront of the doctor. Etc
I reply with a list of scams that i help him avoid.
In the end, i didn't get the shot, and we went back to the hotel By tomorrow, everything is back to normal
But my father asked me to apologize to him
So iam the asshole?

I've (18M) been on vacation for the past few days with my mom and dad, and things have been a little bit tense overall. My dad has always been a bit sensitive and very open about his mental health, especially in regards to struggling with dysthymia and depression. Tonight, when we were walking around on the beach after some serious tension in the family, he begin hinting at suicide. At first, it was in reference to the idea of nonbeing, then more explicitly about how he found the samurai code to be brave in its own right. (He taught english in Japan for 20 or so years)
Eventually, he caved and explicitly said that sometimes he contemplates suicide and doesn't want to live. My mom and I immediately went to support him, but he kept saying he was fine and just to enjoy the sunset. I have never seen him like this before, and after awhile he said that he didn't want to die in the moment, that be wasn't planning on killing himself "within the next year, at least", and so on. I have never, ever seen him like this, and this is the first and only time my dad has ever just completely broken down to such an extent.
He then, after some more frantic talk, said that he absolutely wouldn't, especially if I would feel responsivle. We went back to the hotel room where things were largely in silence for a long time, with him laying in bed. He went to take a very long shower, came out, and said firmly that he wouldn't kill himself. I repeatedly floated calling services immediately but he was adamant that it was something he needed to say, not that he intended to do.
My mom and I both told him we loved him, and he reciprocated. She seems to be in a state of shock.
He told us that sometimes he loves life too much, and that's what makes it so painful for him. He said that more than depressed, he feels cruelly attached to living. He seems very very distant, and has fallen asleep without many more words (aside from giving me the Hemingway quote (his favorite author) about how life breaks people, but they heal, while others resist it, and are killed by it. The end of the quote basically states that for those who aren't exceptional, life will take its time, though it does get to all of us.)
He has always felt responsible for so many things that aren't his fault, often times including my own struggles and those of his mother (who he sadly has a poor relationship with, due to her role in his upbringing). He's also tried SSRIs, which stopped working some years back, SNRIs, and even moderate psilocybin and MDMA doses. Nothing seems to work. He has been an amazing dad throughout the years, but feels terrible for the few mistakes he's made. I've tried on and on to convince him that my own mental health issues aren't his fault, but he's been adamant.
He's also been very insistent on "getting things sorted out" and "making things right". He can't seem to elaborate on what these things mean. He's seemed much worse mentally these past few months, which I suspect may also be related to the fact that his father (with whom he is very close) is likely slipping into dementia.
We are driving home tomorrow. I need help and advice on what the fuck to do. I'm going to college in the fall and am shit scared and feel like the floor has just been torn out from under me. Please help.

I've (18M) been on vacation for the past few days with my mom and dad, and things have been a little bit tense overall. My dad has always been a bit sensitive and very open about his mental health, especially in regards to struggling with dysthymia and depression. Tonight, when we were walking around on the beach after some serious tension in the family, he begin hinting at suicide. At first, it was in reference to the idea of nonbeing, then more explicitly about how he found the samurai code to be brave in its own right. (He taught english in Japan for 20 or so years)
Eventually, he caved and explicitly said that sometimes he contemplates suicide and doesn't want to live. My mom and I immediately went to support him, but he kept saying he was fine and just to enjoy the sunset. I have never seen him like this before, and after awhile he said that he didn't want to die in the moment, that be wasn't planning on killing himself "within the next year, at least", and so on. I have never, ever seen him like this, and this is the first and only time my dad has ever just completely broken down to such an extent.
He then, after some more frantic talk, said that he absolutely wouldn't, especially if I would feel responsivle. We went back to the hotel room where things were largely in silence for a long time, with him laying in bed. He went to take a very long shower, came out, and said firmly that he wouldn't kill himself. I repeatedly floated calling services immediately but he was adamant that it was something he needed to say, not that he intended to do.
My mom and I both told him we loved him, and he reciprocated. She seems to be in a state of shock.
He told us that sometimes he loves life too much, and that's what makes it so painful for him. He said that more than depressed, he feels cruelly attached to living. He seems very very distant, and has fallen asleep without many more words (aside from giving me the Hemingway quote (his favorite author) about how life breaks people, but they heal, while others resist it, and are killed by it. The end of the quote basically states that for those who aren't exceptional, life will take its time, though it does get to all of us.)
He has always felt responsible for so many things that aren't his fault, often times including my own struggles and those of his mother (who he sadly has a poor relationship with, due to her role in his upbringing). He's also tried SSRIs, which stopped working some years back, SNRIs, and even moderate psilocybin and MDMA doses. Nothing seems to work. He has been an amazing dad throughout the years, but feels terrible for the few mistakes he's made. I've tried on and on to convince him that my own mental health issues aren't his fault, but he's been adamant.
He's also been very insistent on "getting things sorted out" and "making things right". He can't seem to elaborate on what these things mean. He's seemed much worse mentally these past few months, which I suspect may also be related to the fact that his father (with whom he is very close) is likely slipping into dementia.
We are driving home tomorrow. I need help and advice on what the fuck to do. I'm going to college in the fall and am shit scared and feel like the floor has just been torn out from under me. Please help.

I've (18M) been on vacation for the past few days with my mom and dad, and things have been a little bit tense overall. My dad has always been a bit sensitive and very open about his mental health, especially in regards to struggling with dysthymia and depression. Tonight, when we were walking around on the beach after some serious tension in the family, he begin hinting at suicide. At first, it was in reference to the idea of nonbeing, then more explicitly about how he found the samurai code to be brave in its own right. (He taught english in Japan for 20 or so years)
Eventually, he caved and explicitly said that sometimes he contemplates suicide and doesn't want to live. My mom and I immediately went to support him, but he kept saying he was fine and just to enjoy the sunset. I have never seen him like this before, and after awhile he said that he didn't want to die in the moment, that be wasn't planning on killing himself "within the next year, at least", and so on. I have never, ever seen him like this, and this is the first and only time my dad has ever just completely broken down to such an extent.
He then, after some more frantic talk, said that he absolutely wouldn't, especially if I would feel responsivle. We went back to the hotel room where things were largely in silence for a long time, with him laying in bed. He went to take a very long shower, came out, and said firmly that he wouldn't kill himself. I repeatedly floated calling services immediately but he was adamant that it was something he needed to say, not that he intended to do.
My mom and I both told him we loved him, and he reciprocated. She seems to be in a state of shock.
He told us that sometimes he loves life too much, and that's what makes it so painful for him. He said that more than depressed, he feels cruelly attached to living. He seems very very distant, and has fallen asleep without many more words (aside from giving me the Hemingway quote (his favorite author) about how life breaks people, but they heal, while others resist it, and are killed by it. The end of the quote basically states that for those who aren't exceptional, life will take its time, though it does get to all of us.)
He has always felt responsible for so many things that aren't his fault, often times including my own struggles and those of his mother (who he sadly has a poor relationship with, due to her role in his upbringing). He's also tried SSRIs, which stopped working some years back, SNRIs, and even moderate psilocybin and MDMA doses. Nothing seems to work. He has been an amazing dad throughout the years, but feels terrible for the few mistakes he's made. I've tried on and on to convince him that my own mental health issues aren't his fault, but he's been adamant.
He's also been very insistent on "getting things sorted out" and "making things right". He can't seem to elaborate on what these things mean. He's seemed much worse mentally these past few months, which I suspect may also be related to the fact that his father (with whom he is very close) is likely slipping into dementia.
We are driving home tomorrow. I need help and advice on what the fuck to do. I'm going to college in the fall and am shit scared and feel like the floor has just been torn out from under me. Please help.

I have never known what to do. Never. My whole life I have been allergic to being happy. Joyous times cause stress and I shut down. I stood at the foot of Niagara Falls on the Maid of the Mists (something I will never get to do again) and I stood with my BACK to the falls. The whole time. I shut down, close up shop, and pull my hood down over my face when anything…ANYTHING enjoyable happens in my life. I avoid all people as much as possible so that nothing fun can happen. I am getting worse and worse. (Interesting fact: I live in party central, USA. Literally right at the heart of the heart of the funnest place this side of Disney.) Is there any comorbidity with ADHD? Help.

​

No. (Last Week)	Artist	Album	Copies sold this week	Total copies	Album Release Date
1 (NEW)	Jimin	FACE	224,870	224,870	Mar 25, 2023
2 (NEW)	Bullet Train (超特急)	B9	59,134	59,134	Mar 22, 2023
3 (NEW)	BABYMETAL	THE OTHER ONE	36,863	36,863	Mar 24, 2023
4 (NEW)	Angerme (アンジュルム)	BIG LOVE	23,680	23,680	Mar 22, 2023
5 (4)	TWICE	Ready To Be: 12th Mini Album	12,766	28,293	Mar 15, 2023
6 (NEW)	Little Glee Monster	Fanfare	12,313	12,313	Mar 22, 2023
7 (NEW)	The Street Sliders & Various	On The Street Again -Tribute & Origin-	10,078	10,078	Mar 22, 2023
8 (36)	NMB48	NMB13	8,975	149,342	Mar 8, 2023
9 (NEW)	Motohiro Hata (秦 基博)	Paint Like a Child	7,282	7,282	Mar 22, 2023
10 (NEW)	Eiichi Ohtaki (大滝詠一)	Eiichi Ohtaki NOVELTY SONG BOOK/NIAGARA ONDO BOOK	6,953	6,953	Mar 21, 2023
11 (NEW)	Yusuke (遊助)	Yu are the one (遊 are the one)	5,169	5,169	Mar 22, 2023
12 (NEW)	PURPLE K!SS	DEAR VIOLET	4,856	4,856	Mar 22, 2023
13 (NEW)	Sora Amamiya (雨宮天)	Sora Amamiya Works 1 -Doukasen- (雨宮天作品集1 -導火線-)	4,525	4,525	Mar 22, 2023
14 (NEW)	Various Artists	Ensemble Stars!! Cover Song Collection (あんさんぶるスターズ!! カバーソングコレクション)	4,419	4,419	Mar 24, 2023
15 (NEW)	NMIXX	Expergo	3,941	3,941	Mar 25, 2023
16 (13)	Miyuki Nakajima (中島みゆき)	Sekai ga Chigatte Mieru Hi (世界が違って見える日)	3,805	47,643	Mar 1, 2023
17 (19)	Johnny's West (ジャニーズWEST)	POWER	3,142	261,406	Mar 1, 2023
18 (NEW)	Pink Floyd (ピンク・フロイド)	Live at Wembley 1974 (狂気:ライヴ・アット・ウェンブリー1974)	3,127	3,127	Mar 24, 2023
19 (10)	MELTЯAGE	Crush!	3,063	3,063	Mar 21, 2023
20 (3)	Liella!	Second Sparkle	2,729	22,999	Mar 15, 2023
21 (NEW)	Various Artists	THE [email protected] 765 MILLION ALLSTARS BEST	2,573	2,573	Mar 22, 2023
22 (14)	Ikuta Lilas (幾田りら)	Sketch	2,553	25,295	Mar 8, 2023
23 (RE-ENTRY)	Eiichi Ohtaki (大滝詠一)	Eiichi Ohtaki: Omnibus 50th Anniversary Edition (大瀧詠一 乗合馬車(Omnibus)50th Anniversary Edition)	2,338	8,243	Nov 25, 2022
24 (1)	NEWS	Ongaku -2nd Movement- (音楽 -2nd Movement-)	2,337	110,283	Mar 15, 2023
25 (NEW)	Minami (美波)	LOSE LOOSE Day	2,015	2,015	Mar 22, 2023
26 (41)	Various Artists	Pokemon TV Anime Theme Songs BEST OF BEST OF BEST 1997-2023 (ポケモンTVアニメ主題歌 BEST OF BEST OF BEST 1997-2023)	1,926	24,222	Feb 1, 2023
27 (22)	back number	Humor (ユーモア)	1,905	210,414	Jan 17, 2023
28 (32)	Kessoku Band (結束バンド)	Kessoku Band (結束バンド)	1,840	149,863	Dec 28, 2022
29 (NEW)	Soundtrack (サウンドトラック)	Fire Emblem: Three Houses: Original Soundtrack (ファイアーエムブレム無双 風花雪月 オリジナル・サウンドトラック)	1,770	1,770	Mar 22, 2023
30 (NEW)	Various Artists	TV Anime “Tsurune: Tsunagari no Issha” Character Song Mini-Album “Hoshi wo Tsunagu” (TVアニメ『ツルネ -つながりの一射-』キャラクターソングミニアルバム「星をつなぐ」)	1,675	1,675	Mar 22, 2023
31 (NEW)	Various Artists	THE [email protected] LIVE [email protected] BEST	1,673	1,673	Mar 22, 2023
32 (NEW)	Various Artists	THE [email protected] MILLION [email protected] BEST	1,625	1,625	Mar 22, 2023
33 (NEW)	FUNKY GALAXY	HOTEL GALAXY	1,622	1,622	Mar 22, 2023
34 (11)	Stray Kids	THE SOUND	1,558	425,353	Feb 22, 2023
35 (37)	Snow Man	Snow Labo. S2	1,555	1,032,516	Sep 21, 2022
36 (NEW)	Various Artists	Waccha PriMagi! Music Collection (ワッチャプリマジ!ミュージックコレクション)	1,501	1,501	Mar 22, 2023
37 (5)	HoneyWorks	Nee, Sukitte itai yo. ~Kokuhaku Jikkou Iinkai Character Song Collection~ (ねぇ、好きって痛いよ。~告白実行委員会キャラクターソング集~)	1,478	14,210	Mar 15, 2023
38 (34)	Hiromi (上原ひろみ)	BLUE GIANT Original Soundtrack (BLUE GIANT(オリジナル・サウンドトラック))	1,410	18,271	Feb 17, 2023
39 (NEW)	Fall Out Boy (フォール・アウト・ボーイ)	So Much (For) Stardust (ソー・マッチ・(フォー)・スターダスト)	1,384	1,384	Mar 24, 2023
40 (108)	NewJeans	NewJeans 1st EP 'New Jeans'	1,371	28,189	Aug 12, 2022
41 (15)	U2	Songs of Surrender (Deluxe) (ソングス・オブ・サレンダー(デラックス))	1,365	6,296	Mar 17, 2023
42 (NEW)	Dohatsuten (怒髪天)	more-AA-janaica	1,295	1,295	Mar 22, 2023
43 (40)	GENERATIONS from EXILE TRIBE	X	1,288	24,934	Mar 8, 2023
44 (55)	SEVENTEEN	SEVENTEEN 4th Album 「Face the Sun」	1,269	540,739	Jun 10, 2022
45 (NEW)	fishbowl	Oukoku (王国)	1,247	1,247	Mar 24, 2023
46 (38)	SixTONES	Koe (声)	1,244	580,690	Jan 4, 2023
47 (51)	Stray Kids	Go Live: Stray Kids Vol.1 (Go生: Stray Kids Vol.1)	1,233	114,860	Jun 25, 2020
48 (48)	Ado	Uta no Uta: ONE PIECE FILM RED (ウタの歌 ONE PIECE FILM RED)	1,212	356,386	Aug 10, 2022
49 (7)	Various Artists	Gintama BEST5 (銀魂BEST5)	1,202	9,091	Mar 15, 2023
50 (54)	Snow Man	Snow Mania S1	1,199	1,026,775	Sep 29, 2021

Source: Imgur, Oricon (Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Page 4, Page 5)

we dated off and on my whole time in college. it was very rocky and toxic in the beginning but at the end of my senior year, it seemed like we were figuring things out. but i just felt like all the things he did and lied to me about, i just couldn’t move on from. i didn’t think it was fair for him to constantly feel like he had to make something up to me, or felt obligated to stay with me because he was trying to make it right. the last time we broke up for good was 2019. i dated another guy, he turned out to be abusive, and i was in the town where my ex lived to visit a friend and he came to visit with me at the hotel. we just talked for hours and we ended up falling asleep together. that was 2020. he told me how much he still loved me and missed me and how much he had changed. i believed him and it’s evident in the person he is now. if i’m telling the truth i never stopped loving him. i still love him even today, in 2023, while i have been with my current boyfriend for 2 years. after i broke up with my abusive ex, he and i considered exploring our relationship again. but i knew he had been casually dating a different girl, and i told him if he had something with someone else i didn’t feel comfortable getting between that, and that we shouldn’t talk. so i let him go. they’ve been in a beautiful relationship for a little over a year now. he is so happy and he has grown so much as a person. he loves her. and i still love him so deeply. i loved him so much that i let him go and he flourished with everything he learned from his mistakes in our relationship. it makes me so sad that it couldn’t work for us, but he deserves so much happiness. i do miss my ex. and i think of him often. i don’t even know what i’m looking for here, i just had to say it so maybe it will get out of my head.

I will be in Accra for work for about a week, and am planning on staying afterwards for a bit of leisure travel. I previously lived in Nigeria and traveled widely around that country, so I am not new to the region, but new to Ghana. This is my rough schedule:
Day 1: Leave Accra early – get to Cape Coast by 10am, do a toumuseum, then stroll around Cape Coast a bit have lunch – check into hotel if staying in Cape Coast, then go to Elmina – get there around 2pm- do Elmina tour – stroll around Elmina – then at head back to Cape Coast if staying there – or if not, stay Elmina.
Day 2: Get up early, arrive Kakum National Park when it opens at 8:00am. Stay until 11 or 12. Get back to Cape Coast – then go to Mankessim – arrive by 1:30 – see the shrine, then go to Anomabu, wonder around looking at shrines, then get back to hotel (either Cape Coast or Elmina by 5pm).
Day 3: Travel to Kumasi – see one of the museums in afternoon.
Day 4: Travel to Mole Park - leave early morning, arrive late afternoon.
Day 5-6: Mole Park
Day 7 : Travel to Tamale to fly to Accra – there is a 11am or a 2pm – if I was able to catch the 11am (which would this be possible if I left at 5am? It’s a 2-3hr ride I think). Then I’d get into Accra at 12pm, and could try to get to Peki (rough halfway point) by the afternoon. Stay in Peki.
Day 8:– travel to Wli Falls, do the long hike (upper and lower falls)
Day 9: hike Mount Afadja + Tagbo Falls
Day 10:– Return to Accra
Day 11: Depart
Some questions:

1. If I only have time for *one* museum in Kumasi, which would you recommend and why? Also, any thoughts on places to eat dinner? I'm interested in trying as many varieties of Ghanian food as possible.
2. Will two days at Mole Park be too much? I know you can do 2 safaris are day, so I'm wondering if doing 4 of them will be repetitive.
3. How often to tro-tros or buses go from Mole (i.e. Larabanga) to Tamale? Is there a motor park in Larabanga where they somewhat regularly leave from?
4. If you take a day-trip from Mole Park to see the town of Larabanga, will I need to re-pay the park entrance fee, even if I'm staying in the park?
5. The best base to explore the Volta Region seems to be Liati Wote, but I'm not sure - I'd like to climb Mt Afadja and see Tabgo Falls and Wli Falls. How would I get there via bus/tro-tro from Accra? From Peki? Also, how would you get from Liati Wote to Wli Falls - Google maps says it's a 19min drive, so not far - would it be fairly easy to take an okada?
6. Thoughts on staying in Elmina vs. Cape Coast?
7. How far in advance should I buy the plane ticket from Tamale to Accra?
8. Are ATMs generally ok in Ghana or no? In Nigeria I had some problems with my card getting scammed.
9. Is the additional hike in Kakum worth it, or is it really just worth doing the hanging bridges hike?

Feedback on any of this would be most welcome, thank you!

Because JJ is taking some much needed time off reviewing and providing his insights into COI, I thought I would provide something in the meantime. I would not call it filling in for JJ, as I am hardly at his level. I’m more like the unofficial side show for this week- providing (hopefully) some humor to help you come to grips with the shit that was spewed by Rick and the gang this week. While I have not had any Skyrizi cocktails, I do randomly call 1-800 numbers and ask them to check my ZIP code. Maybe that qualifies me for this role? I don’t know. But let’s get on with the pain.
We start off this week at the Garden Shaft. Which is this season’s location of the money pit. Craig and Scott are talking to one of the Dumas workers about their progress. They’re at 67 feet and probing for a gold spot along the way. Typical men, working in a new hole and not knowing where the g-spot is at. Clotworthy spews some junk about how significant the garden shaft is because of material dating back 60 years before the discovery of the money pit, and how the garden shaft is located in the “Treasure Zone”, which I’m guessing is the forthcoming name of the Oak Island theme park. Scott says something, but I wasn’t paying attention. Then again, he never says anything important, anyway. So, who cares. Dude has more speaking roles this season than our beloved Billy. Side note: I do find it funny that we’re supposedly in the original money pit, and there’s no talk or concern about the flood tunnels. You know, the fucking tunnels we wasted seasons looking for? Throwing dye into them… Building a fucking damn in the cove. Of course, the flood tunnel theories fell flat. But they won’t acknowledge that, or fess up that maybe all these theories are total bull. Instead, they’ll conveniently mention nothing of it and toss more shit into the frey to keep you off balanced. And, hope you’re more concerned about your moderate to severe plaque psoriasis to notice.
Our next scene is at the quadrilateral. For those of you who don’t know, this is Prometheus’ latest tangent to fill needless episodes. Supposedly, it was mentioned in Dead Nolan’s book, which the Alive Nolan decided to reveal for the first fucking time on the previous episode (I’m sure the book will be published soon, with a forward by Rick. Another book for the kooks to cite and come up with new BS theories to waste our time for the next 5 seasons, at least). Rick, Tom Nolan, “and the rest” as Clotworthy put it (Billy and Gary), are at the Quadrilateral. And thankfully, we are about to get some Billy excavating time. It’s mentioned how the quadrilateral has a mysterious group of boulders on it. I don’t know what’s so mesmerizing about the boulders. And the quadrilateral looks like the state of Nevada, which has a ton of boulders. So, I’m not impressed here. As the digging starts, they uncover “little sticks” which are cut and burnt. This leads to our first wild speculation of the week. Because these little burnt sticks are similar to the ones found under the stone pathway by the swamp, instantly this means that the quadrilateral is made by the people who made the stone pathway. We’re then shown flashbacks to when the crew took a pointless trip to Portugal to look at a stone road. And told once again how the two are so similar and there must be a Portuguese connection to them. They keep digging and Billy notices some clay. Some blue clay. And blue clay was found when they were fucking around in the money pit area and swamp a few seasons ago. We’re then led into our first commercial break. And thank god, because I need slam my head into the desk a few times. It’s bad enough watching this show. Having to then write about it? Fuck me. I’m only doing this one week.
OK. I’m a little dizzy, but we return to the quadrilateral. We got serious Clotworthy bs time. Blue clay in the money pit, swamp, and now in the quadrilateral! So obviously, it’s all connected. That’s now an Oak Island fact. They bring in the Geologist turd guy for 10 seconds to add some sort of authority to this BS claim. But, I’m over this guy. No geologist would let them get away with saying that limestone cavities underground have to be manmade. Fuck off, Rocks for Jocks dude. After he’s pushed to the side, we then get the other quack scientist, Dr. Spooner. I used to like this guy initially. He seemed grounded. Stayed in his lane. But between his water testing, and even dating a fucking nail, this dude is just another sellout on the show who’ll say anything to keep Prometheus happy. He analyzes the clay and finds some more burnt wood. He surmises it cannot be natural. Rick jumps in to say that because there were boulders, it means this is obviously a “safe” and there is something significant below. Of course, he doesn’t want to dig. He wants to wait for Tom Nolan and do more investigating. I’m going to go off on a tangent here, but…
I swear, Rick maybe the entire fucking problem with this crew. Let’s not forget folks, he was a postman, aka, GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE. In other words, he gets nothing done but spends a lot of someone else’s money. It was natural he would end up conning his brother into spending money on this disaster. This show has been on for 10 years. And all they had to do was a dig a big damn hole and see if there’s anything in the ground. Now, if I was given a job of digging a big damn hole, and my boss came up to me 10 years later to ask about the progress, I sure as hell wouldn’t go: “Well, we started digging in the money pit like you asked. But then we wanted to do some sonaradalidar detection and analyze the fuck out of it for inferences to treasure. After that, a few random ass guys with history degrees from Fuck You University came to the island and told us we should dig in other spots. They thought the treasure was [Templar, English, Aztec, French, Portuguese, Pirates, Phoenician, Egyptian, Martian]. So we did that. Found nothing. Then, we drained the swamp near the money pit 3 or 4 times, spent millions on dynamite to scare all the birds away, all to try and get more inferences on what lies below the ground. We also fucked around looking for a dock, and found a stone road. In terms of digging in the money pit area, we drilled tiny fucking holes all over it. Enough to turn it into Swiss cheese. We thought a few times we ‘just came down the edge’ of something. But, instead of just moving a few inches over and drilling again, we went to a new spot, chosen at random and still found nothing. Oh, and we took a shit load of trips to Europe. Just to look at some old castles and carvings, none of which has anything to do with the drilling job.” No, I wouldn’t. I’d have been fucking fired years earlier. But that’s COI. Making the US bureaucracy seem efficient.
Ahem, so after we leave the quadrilateral, “later that afternoon” we go to the war room. I’m excited. Because it’s a meeting time, and we have this week’s tinfoil kook! This week, we have Francisco Nogueira from Portugal. I’m getting giddy and tingly. Not because of any revelations or theories that are going to solve the mystery, but we’re guaranteed some extreme fucking head nodding action. Let’s see what Francisco says. I should not that he speaks perfect English, but gets subtitled (yet, I still barely understand Gary). We’re told that the Azores is a key place for north Atlantic explorers. And then we get into some Templars, Baby B-roll. Clotworthy tells us the Templars went to Portugal, rebranded, and then took their treasure to North America. Makes sense to me! Francisco, who honestly sounds like a hostage reading the terrorists demands after 4 weeks of torture (definitely not from starvation, though) says the Portuguese Knights of Christ were exploring in the 15th and 16th centuries. Were shown some nodding and smiling from Simple Jack and Alex. Our Kook then says the “mysterious” wall is of Portuguese style. I don’t know what specific style he’s talking about. It’s a bunch of fucking rocks stacked on top of one another. I’m sure more civilizations other than the Portuguese knew how to stack rocks on top of each other. However, the revelation is enough to get Simple Jack to exclaim, “No way!” He’s got to be feeling good. After all, it was his detective work that found a big ass fucking tree next to the wall a few weeks ago. Francisco continues. Apparently, only the Portuguese would fill in gaps of a wall with small rocks. I guess this implies that Spain and France were the first to create glory holes. We get more dramatic nodding and amazement. It seems we’re going all in on Portugal now. Fuck off, Duc d'Anville, Francis Beacon, Sinclair, and Long John Silver (I don’t know. I’m sure he’ll get some mention soon). We’ll bring you all back in a few seasons when this shit falls apart and they find nothing. The revelation was enough to cue the dramatic music and a commercial break. Good. I don’t drink alcohol, but I’m going to go look for some cooking sherry or something to help me through this. If not, maybe I’ll inhale some Pam. If anything, it’ll help with this dry nose thing I have going on. I’ll turn the TV up so I can hear if there are any prescriptions I can ask my doctor about.
I found some ice cream and ate myself into an ice cream headache. But it kind of helped with the pain from banging my head int the desk earlier. We return to the war room with our chubby Portuguese kook. I guess his revelations were too much to conclude in one segment. Naturally, we get a recap of what we just heard 4 minutes ago. Because obviously everyone that watches this show has the attention span of a cat who snorted 8 lines of catnip. We’re now told that the Portuguese came to Oak Island, in secret. We get a few seconds of legitimate history regarding King Phillip II of Spain putting the hurt on Portugal. But then we quickly get into bs about missing treasure. And obviously, Portuguese went across the world and dumped it on Oak Island. Long story short, the Knights of Christ decided to put their precious treasure on a boat, sail across the Atlantic, and bury it on an island they never went to before. Dougie jumps in to give us some NSCC-level education about Templars. Never trust a Doug. Finally, Rick gives us one of his garbage corporate meeting wrap ups. And we’ve officially wasted about 10 minutes of show on this garble.
Later that afternoon (this is one fucking long day), we’re back at the quadrilateral. Rick has brought back more people. Spooner once again says the clay shouldn’t be here. And the clay and boulders were transported here. Personally, I think they found Samuel Ball’s septic tank. That’s my guess. Spooner pokes around and conveniently finds something sticking out of one of the sides of the hole. I don’t see Barkhouse, so I’ll assume whatever it is, he planted it like most other shit found on the island. It’s too much for us to comprehend, so another fucking commercial break is in order.
After several more commercials about plaque psoriasis plaguing this nation, we return to the big find. It’s a rusted piece of metal, shaped like a U. Gary claims it’s an iron staple. But this fuck has been wrong a few times this season. I’m guessing we’ll get some Carmen time soon. They keep digging.
The “following morning” we briefly see Scott and Dumbasses still looking for the Garden Shaft’s g-spot. Then we’re taken to the lab with, I guessed it, Carmen. Rick, Marty, and Craig are there. And Emma looks to be checking out Twitter or something. Let me just say, this whole “one day ago” is bull. Rick’s hair is longer and he has a lot more beard than he did “yesterday” afternoon. Carmen says the staple is used to help change the direction of rope and used with a pulley. The crew surmises this means the staple was used to get the boulders in the quadrilateral. Carmen says staples like that were used during medieval times. Clotworthy gives us a diatribe, but I tuned him out. Emma confirms the staple is old. Oh, and it seems she’s using Laird’s Microsoft account. Not cool, Emma. Miriam wouldn’t do that. Also, Prometheus forgot to blur out the date and time on the computer screen. Says 3:49pm. Morning my ass, Clotworthy. And another fucking commercial. I guess the commercials are good for people with overactive bladders. But, you can discover Gemtesa to help with your overactive bladder! Just it’ll give you every time else and likely kill you. Oh, and probably more bladder issues. But they’ll have a pill ready for that, too! Ahem…
We return to the lab. Clotworthy tells us it’s a medieval staple. Also, we are now to call the quadrilateral the “Great Quadrilateral”. I guess that’s an okay name for the hotel at the Treasure Zone.
“Later that afternoon”, we’re back out at the Garden Shaft. Scott failed to find the g-spot, so Rick and Craig have come out to help the Dumbasses probe for it. This obviously means were in for a big moment. A climax, if you will. We’re told that the g post was not found on the eastern wall. So they’re now going to look for it on the west. West sideee, baby. We get a little interview with Marty. He tells us that once they get to the bottom of the hole, they can start probing down and around to look for that g-spot. The Dumbass supervisor speculates that whoever first made the hole was in a rush. My experience with guys is that most are in a rush. This doesn’t surprise me one bit. Craig talks about his experience probing. Unfortunately, no g-spot found this week. And we’re not taken to “the next day” at the war room. I’m guessing this is where we’ll declare victory for the week. Time is running short. More head nodding? Let’s see!
The war room meeting is to get an update on the mysterious wall. Come to think of it, the wall reminds me more of that one from the end of the Shawshank Redemption. Only that wall had something valuable under one of its rocks. But, back to the meeting. We’re practically at all hands-on deck. Simple Jack is in his seat. You know he is revved up for this meeting after his tree discovery. Laird is asked to tell use more about the wall. He says it’s unique and we’re given a flashback of Laird, Miriam, and Alex digging up the wall a few weeks ago. Naturally, this whole scene was just to satisfy the thirsty Miriam-obsessed. Back in the war room, Craig gives us a date on the piece of charcoal found under the stone wall. The range is 1474-1638- Conveniently fitting into this week’s theory of Portuguese treasure. In fact, we’re told that “we know” Portuguese were in the area. I guess if it’s said on COI, it HAS to be true! Simple Jack can’t contain himself anymore and gives us a profound thought to think on for the rest of the week: people don’t build walls for no reason. Wow, Jack. Fucking wow. There’s an old saying that says it’s better to remain silent and appear stupid, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. Jack really should try that now and then. We’re given some more shit by NSCC Professor Doug about the Templars, and Rick says we need to keep an open mind until the facts say otherwise.
And that’s the show for this week. Thank Fucking God. I foolishly thought it would be fun to try this with JJ out. Fuck that. JJ, much respect to you. I don’t know how you do it. I’m amazed every week with your reviews/rants. After giving it a go myself, I’m even more perplexed how you get it done. But with that, I’m off to the 24-hour liquor store now. Peace!

29 March: Do you know that on this day in history Niagara Falls stopped flowing?
If you are curious to know what else happened, let’s unwrap to see what special day is today.

What Happened Today? On This Day in History: 29 March

People, Places & Politics

• 1549 – The city of Salvador da Bahia, the first capital of Brazil, was founded.
• 1632 – The Treaty of Saint-Germain-en-Laye was signed, returned Quebec to French control after the English seized it in 1629.
• 1795 – Ludwig van Beethoven had his debut performance as a pianist in Vienna.
• 1798 – Republic of Switzerland formed.
• 1849 – Great Britain formally annexed Punjab after defeat of Sikhs in India.
• 1857 – On this day, Mangal Pandey of the 34th Native Infantry refused orders on the parade ground at Barrackpore. This was the first major incident that is called as Indian Sepoy Mutiny.
• 1871 – Royal Albert Hall opened by Queen Victoria in London.
• 1945 – World War II: Last day of V-1 flying bomb attacked on England.
• 1961 – After a 4½ year trial, Nelson Mandela is acquitted of treason in Pretoria.
• 1998 – Vasco da Gama bridge opened in Lisbon, Portugal as the longest bridge in Europe.

Natural Wonders

• 1848 – Niagara Falls stopped flowing for 30 hours due to an ice jam.

Technology

• 1929 – US President Herbert Hoover had the 1st telephone installed on the desk at the Oval Office’s in the White House.

Treasured History

• 1974 – Chinese farmers discovered the Terracotta Army near Xi’an, 8,000 clay warrior statues buried to guard the tomb of China’s 1st emperor, Qin Shi Huang.

Arts

• 1978 – Variety TV show “The Carol Burnett Show” last aired on CBS in the US, having won 25 Emmy Awards.
• 1993 – Actress Elizabeth Taylor presented with the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award for her AIDS/HIV activism at 65th Academy Awards.

Birth Anniversaries (29 March)

Continue reading...

I sleep in my indoor hammock on and off throughout the year, but always had trouble with keeping a sheet under me without it bunching up or falling off the edges and creeping under me, leaving my arms, legs and hair to rub up against the canvas- if you have long hair, you can imagine the disaster that ensued.
I tried pinning the sheet to the hammock, wrapping myself in the sheet before i got into the hammock like a human burrito, stepping into those hotel sheets that are basically sleeping bags and then throwing myself into the hammock with a silent prayer... none of it worked. I was even going to prototype hammock sheet sock tubes but never quite made it to production.
Anyways, I had a Big Brain moment this week and realized that I can make a sort of... inner shell hammock out of my flannel topsheet by snipping the top and bottom hems open and running shock cord through the channels. I laid the sheet-hammock inside the main hammock and clipped the shock cord loops to the anchor points and suddenly all my sheet-related problems disappeared!
I now sleep on cozy flannel sheets, and never shall I wake up to a hammock-related rug burn or hair emergency again.
I'm just mad it took over a year of angry sheet flapping to figure it out.

Hi there. Thanks for all the great content to read through! we are starting to lock in plans for a trip in July and wanted to get feedback on a rough outline. Oahu is our first stop on a 26 night trip where we are also heading to Maui and Kauai with our 9 and 7 year olds.
Day 1 Friday: Arrive ~4pm to Hilton Hawaiian Village, direct flight from Boston, watch fireworks
Day 2 Saturday: get over jet lag, relax at beach and pool, play activities by ear
Day 3 Sunday: Hanauma Bay day, arrive early, hang out until early afternoon, back to hotel to rest before dinner
Day 4 Monday and Day 5 Tuesday: I'm taking a Scuba Certification course 1030am-130pm, my wife and kids plan to just have beach/pool time, local activities when I get back in the afternoon
Day 6 Wednesday: North Shore Day, swim with sharks 9am, beach/lunch, family surf lessons 1pm, return home in evening
Day 7 Thursday: hike diamond head in morning, flex afternoon
Day 8 Friday: Manoa Falls or Makapuu Lighthouse Trail in morning, flex afternoon
Also considering some of the Pearl Harbor stuff, as I think my 9 year old son might especially like the aviation stuff and USS Missouri.
The big things I'm trying to nail down are the plan for my scuba lessons and then the day trip to the north shore. Any and all feedback welcome!

Okay, last week we pulled up for a quick book caucus, and it wasn't so bad. It wasn't nearly as cold as I thought it would be. Two new people showed up, Aurora_the_Off-White and MunsonTime, and we need a few new dudes. We went right into How High We Go in the Dark by Sequoia Nagamatsu, and most of us actually read it this time, so good timing.
Aurora told us the author started writing it over a decade ago and the pandemic elements are a coincidence to our experience over the last couple of years. She really appreciated the last chapter and thought it really brought the disparate stories together. Munson said that the theme of the stories was people dealing with their grief and mourning of lost loved ones. He liked the style of seemingly disparate stories about ordinary people dealing with their circumstance. Everyone had a high opinion of the book, though I thought there was some inconsistency and we could maybe have done without the pig boy story.
Incorrigible_muffin said How High We Go reminded her of The Candy House by Jennifer Egan, which she said was a series of loosely connected vignettes and stories. Candy House is a sequel of A Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan, but Muffin says you don't need to it to fully enjoy The Candy House.
Someone else threw out World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War by Max Brooks, which is the prototype of the strongly themed short story collections. We talked about other near future post-apocalyptic works, and lamented that there were few well-written ones. Coconut thought Station Eleven belonged in the discussion and we all agreed that it was excellent. We talked about Emily St. John Mandel's other works The Glass Hotel and Sea of Tranquility and those of use who had read them had a high opinion of them. I recently read The Dog Stars by Peter Heller and can recommended it as a mashup of post apocalyptic gun nuts and spicy romance done by a high quality author.
We talked about N.K. Jemisin's The City We Became and we had mixed appreciation for it. Muffin thought it was amazing, and thought the same of its sequel, The World We Make. She has spent a lot of time in New York and the story elements really resonated for her. Apparently there's also a Great Cities 0.5 that I haven't heard of before called The City Born Great.
We discussed some of NK Jemesin's other series such as the Broken Earth series starting with The Fifth Seasonand The Inheritance Cycle, starting with The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms
Munson had only been to New York once and couldn't relate to the city like Muffin or Coconut could. He gave it a shot and then switched to a different book. I was listening to the audio book, and the narrator started acting out the book and that ruined it for me. She'd whisper parts and I'd have to turn it up, and then she's yell parts and it just got more and more annoying. I usually listen to nonfiction books.
We talked about the compulsion to finish books. Everyone has a position. Some people feel like they're failing if they abandon a book. I say if you're not enjoying the book, you're wasting your time. Munson talked about reading Against the Day by Thomas Pynchon with a group of his friends, and finding it such a slog that he ended up not reading anything for three months because he couldn't swallow any more of Against the Day.
Munson is most excited about hard science fiction, and is currently finishing the third book in the Remembrance of Earth's Past series by Cixin Liu, which I think is The Redemption of Time. The other two books are the The Three-Body Problem and Death's End.
Aurora is working on the the Court of Thorns and Roses series by Sarah J. Maas and is liking it. She says very similar things as Laucchi when she was reading it, notably that it started as practically YA and become more adult and pretty spicy in later books. She liked the depiction of the Fae Court being darker and more complex than simpler stories tend to depict. She noted how similar it was to the one in the The Dresden Files and we talked about the wizard with a shotgun motif. She also mentioned a new book by the author of Artemis Fowl, Eoin Colfer but I didn't know which one it was.
Quite a few of the people who had read the Dresden books found them to be misogynistic or at least condescending towards women. Muffin talked about a common convention in urban fantasy where the hero adopts a patronizing attitude and tries to handle all the problems in the world. The hero tries to keep his friends safe rather than allow them to help themselves or utilize those resources to take care of their common problems. She pointed out places in the Harry Potter series where that was happening. I always recommend the Alex Verus series for urban fantasy, and it has some of those tendencies as well.
Speaking of urban fantasy, Muffin read the third book of The Checquy Files, but didn't think it was as good as the second book, which itself was not as good as the first. So now I'm less excited about reading it, but I'll probably still give it a try. All of us really liked The Rook. We talked about the Laundry Files by Charles Stross as having a similar urban fantasy/Ministry of Information flavor.
Muffin heartily recommends Pusheen the Cat's Guide to Everything by Claire Belton, giving it 5 out of 5 paws. She doesn't normally drift into historical fiction, but picked up The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet by David Mitchell. She says it surprised her by having a typical Dutch sailor and the courtesan romance, but said the two halves of the relationship were fairly equal and it was less condescending toward the female character than she expected.
She read Hell Bent by Leigh Bardugo, sequel to Ninth House, saying it was well plotted and well paced. The premise of the books is that there were eight secret societies at Yale that were indulging in various dark sorceries, and a ninth house that was supposed to keep them in line. She also rather liked Killers of a Certain Age by Deanna Raybourn, saying it was The Golden Girls meets Murder Inc.
We talked extensively about Neal Stephenson and each of us had a different favorite book by him. I said that Quicksilver was my favorite Neal Stephenson book but then Coconut mentioned The Diamond Age, and I had to change my answer to that. We talked about:

• Snow Crash
  
• Anathem
  
• Cryptonomicon
  
• The Diamond Age: or, A Young Lady's Illustrated Primer
  
• Fall; Or, Dodge in Hell
  
• Reamde
  
• Seveneves
  
• Termination Shock
  

We decided to add a Neal Stephenson book to the list, and settled on Fall or Dodge in Hell. Or you can just pick whichever one you like.
We talked about audiobooks, and Munson said that the graphic audio version of Warbreaker by Brandon Sanderson was a lot of fun, and recommended Life is So Good by George Dawson read by Levar Burton. We also covered Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin, The Last House on Needless Street by Catriona Ward, The Past is Red by Catherine Valente, and The Measure by Nikki Erlick.
Coming Up on April 23

• Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt
• Trans-Galactic Bike Ride: Feminist Bicycle Science Fiction Stories of Transgender and Nonbinary Adventurers edited by Lydia Rogue

Coming Up on May 21

• I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy
• Blitz by Daniel O'Malley

Coming Up on June 18

• Fall; Or, Dodge in Hell
• or some other Neal Stephenson book

Coming Up on July 23

• Just pick a book in your To Be Read pile and tell us about it. We were lamenting the large backlog that each of each is carrying around and decided to just knock some of them out.

I will be in Accra for work for about a week, and am planning on staying afterwards for a bit of leisure travel. I previously lived in Nigeria and traveled widely around that country, so I am experienced with the region, and anticipate Ghana will be easier than Nigeria (which I loved). This is my rough schedule:
Day 1: Leave Accra early – get to Cape Coast by 10am, do a toumuseum, then stroll around Cape Coast a bit have lunch – check into hotel if staying in Cape Coast, then go to Elmina – get there around 2pm- do Elmina tour – stroll around Elmina – then at head back to Cape Coast if staying there – or if not, stay Elmina.
Day 2: Get up early, arrive Kakum National Park when it opens at 8:00am. Stay until 11 or 12. Get back to Cape Coast – then go to Mankessim – arrive by 1:30 – see the shrine, then go to Anomabu, wonder around looking at shrines, then get back to hotel (either Cape Coast or Elmina by 5pm).
Day 3: Travel to Kumasi – see one of the museums in afternoon.
Day 4: Travel to Mole Park - leave early morning, arrive late afternoon.
Day 5-6: Mole Park
Day 7 : Travel to Tamale to fly to Accra – there is a 11am or a 2pm – if I was able to catch the 11am (which would this be possible if I left at 5am? It’s a 2-3hr ride I think). Then I’d get into Accra at 12pm, and could try to get to Peki (rough halfway point) by the afternoon. Stay in Peki.
Day 8:– travel to Wli Falls, do the long hike (upper and lower falls)
Day 9: hike Mount Afadja + Tagbo Falls
Day 10:– Return to Accra
Day 11: Depart
​
Some questions:

1. If I only have time for *one* museum in Kumasi, which would you recommend and why? Also, any thoughts on places to eat dinner? I'm interested in trying as many varieties of Ghanian food as possible.
2. Will two days at Mole Park be too much? I know you can do 2 safaris are day, so I'm wondering if doing 4 of them will be repetitive.
3. How often to tro-tros or buses go from Mole (i.e. Larabanga) to Tamale? Is there a motor park in Larabanga where they somewhat regularly leave from?
4. If you take a day-trip from Mole Park to see the town of Larabanga, will I need to re-pay the park entrance fee, even if I'm staying in the park?
5. The best base to explore the Volta Region seems to be Liati Wote, but I'm not sure - I'd like to climb Mt Afadja and see Tabgo Falls and Wli Falls. How would I get there via bus/tro-tro from Accra? From Peki? Also, how would you get from Liati Wote to Wli Falls - Google maps says it's a 19min drive, so not far - would it be fairly easy to take an okada?
6. Thoughts on staying in Elmina vs. Cape Coast?
7. How far in advance should I buy the plane ticket from Tamale to Accra?
8. Are ATMs generally ok in Ghana or no? In Nigeria I had some problems with my card getting scammed.
9. Is the additional hike in Kakum worth it, or is it really just worth doing the hanging bridges hike?

Feedback on any of this would be most welcome, thank you!

I [30 F 230 5'2 GERD] need support.. I never do this but I need support. I went through the bariatric program like "no problem, I'm excited, let's do this, I'll take the problems as they come. I'm ready to live my life"
I went through all their hoops, tests, appointments, even a gruelling 3 week liquid pre op diet and did it as iron-minded as I could be and ready. I live a 6 hour drive away from the bariatric clinic, but really It took 8 months to get here..
I'm now in an Air BnB. I have arranged for 8 days of pet care back home while I'm here, mandatorily, post op. I've spent $1200 out of pocket for hotel and gas to make this happen. I've spent $350 on my pre op shakes to prep for surgery. My short term disability forms have been signed by my employer and Doctor and sent in. I've accepted a 60% pay cut from my short term disability provider for the 6 weeks of my recovery when I'm not reaaallly in the position to.
This surgery is now standing in my face. A life long road of health uncertainty. The only guarantee is I'll lose weight and hopefully fix my GERD. I just drove to my pre op appointment today from my home town. 6 hours driving and 26 hours of no sleep because NERVES ARE SHOT.
I have my fiance with me, he is desperate for me not to go through with it. He promises if I ditch this surgery and go home with him,, he will do everything in his power to support us into a healthier lifestyle. He is scared for me. I am scared for me. His true fears haven't really came to light until the past couple days, when things got very real.
I have been doing months and months of research. The good, the bad, the ugly. The good is wonderful, inspiring, it lights up my heart, I want that to be ME. The ugly is terrifying.. and somehow after scraping through google and YouTube for months, I am starting to see a pattern of people losing their teeth, becoming severely malnourished, getting everyday nausea, falling apart at generally young ages (40-50) and regretting the moment they ever did this to themselves. I find it that the good are people freshly post op, 0-6~ years, and the ugly is happening to people 10+ years out. The pattern is forming that long term, this will ruin you. I'm scared you guys. I'm terrified. I was so ready, I spent so much, I jumped so many hoops, and now I'm just so fucking scared..
Please,
If you regret this surgery, please share
If you would do this surgery over and over, please share
Please I really need yall right now.

Short background info: I'm 19M with no job, no driver's license, and am not in college, due to the fact that I keep ending up in these situations, and I've lost all trust for any system that's supposed to help me.
The first instance of this phenomenon really happening was when I was 17 and in my senior semester of high school (I was in online school and had voluntarily opted to graduate a semester early as I thought it would be helpful). It proved more difficult than I had anticipated, but not for reasons you would initially think. Not only did the school decide to TRIPLE the amount of written assignments that year for everyone, but my town specifically was also having near-weekly power outages that just so happened to occur during this period of time, and caused me to miss a whole bunch of work, significantly impacting my grades. The cherry on top was that, at the end of the semester, the testing center for the ACT/SAT was too far of a drive, and iirc my family was having issues with our car anyway, so I never got to take either. I did manage to scrape by, barely graduating with all C's for the semester. However, my options for college have been significantly limited forever, due to this convoluted situation of external factors.
The next instance of this happening has to do with my first (and only) semester of college. It was an online school with a 100% acceptance rate. I was studying accounting but it ended up being confusing and had less to do with math (which I enjoyed) than I had thought. Still, I persisted and was on track to do fine for the semester. That is until my family decided to move across the country on a 2-week-long road trip, and I had no choice but to go with them as I live with them. Due to being on the road all day and only staying at hotels at night, I had practically no internet access once again. It was kinda like my high school situation all over again, but for a different reason. When I finally got internet access again at the new house, I realized I had missed pretty much the most important work of the semester, and all my A's and B's had turned into F's. The semester was almost over too, leaving me no time to realistically raise my grades enough to pass, so I sucked it up and failed and never went back. Almost a whole semester worth of college work for nothing, leaving me back at square one, just older.
The third, most recent, and arguably most tragic instance of this happening just happened last year. I can't really go into much detail regarding the opportunity that was affected, but I can share what happened to me individually. Basically, I was in a really rare but cool opportunity right up my alley that lasted a few months and would benefit me forever. For the first half, it was going smoothly. I was also just learning to drive and had just scheduled my road test. However, Hurricane Ian eventually decided to strike and take out the power pretty much the day before my road test and also interfere with said opportunity. Simultaneously, I started experiencing many strange health issues. Over the next few weeks they got worse. To put a long story short, eventually I couldn't fall asleep at all, was having seizures (or at least something similar), was misdiagnosed with schizophrenia, and put in a mental ward for 10 days. I eventually came back to normal, but I strongly believe I was misdiagnosed and still haven't received closure or a real second opinion. You can find more about this in my post history. My best guess is that I had a blood clot in my brain/head, because immediately after one of the seizures, I felt a crack in the back of my head which triggered a really bad nosebleed, and after that I gradually started getting better. This seizure also happened WHILE in the mental hospital and they said I was FAKING all of it. They actually kept me longer because I "faked" that seizure (When I didn't, it was real. Maybe it wasn't a seizure, but whatever it was, it was similar and wasn't fun). I'm still really mad about that, because I probably could have died from their negligence had it been something worse. Anyways, the opportunity I was in just kept going on without me because there were other people in it, but it was pretty much over by the time I got out, which felt really isolating and basically ruined what was left of it for me specifically.
But yeah, to sum up, every time I think I'm doing something to move forward with my life, something else always comes along and interferes to the point of sabotage. I'm sick of this happening and have made no further efforts to improve my life anymore because something stupid always happens that sets me back to where I began. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sick of mooching off my parents and feeling embarrassingly inferior and increasingly incompetent compared to my fellow young adults, but it's still better than going through these types of experiences repeatedly and wasting my time.

I read this in the early 1990s. main character at one point carries a Colt Python and maybe dances with a woman at a hotel/casino that might be his target. takes her back to his room and ties her to the bed, they end up falling in love(?) the start of the book may have had something to do with a religious figure assassinated. might have been a rifle in a golf bag. cover art may have had top secret or for eyes only.
​
please don't judge me that the only bit i remember is the rapey bit.

Every summer, my family and I goes to the Catskills Mountains in NY. We love exploring different towns within the area, and going hiking.
So, last summer, while my dad was fishing, my mom, brother, and I visited this town we had never been to/heard of before. The name of the town is Phoenicia.
Here are some of the things we noticed in the town that were rather unsettling/strange:

• No public bathrooms: This was a big problem for us, as we were there for a few hours having a picnic. There were literal signs that had “No Public Restroom” written on it. Why is that?
• No trash bins/places to put your garbage: This could easily be some sort of “carry-in carry-out” policy in this community, but it was still very strange. We had to put our trash in our backpacks.

Another thing to note, is all of the really weird shops:

• Mystery Spot This one really stood out to me, as I have always loved Gravity Falls. At first I joked, as there was a lumberjack statue (similar to in Gravity Falls) in front of a shop, then as I took a closer look, the shop was literally called “Mystery Spot.” It was closed, but it was sooooo weird.
• Grocery store with little to no food: We wanted lunch so we could have a picnic, so we went into this grocery store. It’s hard to describe, but it felt very claustrophobic in there. There were mostly coolers with drinks in them, and then on the shelves, there was barely any food. The workers at all the stores in this town were also very odd, as they would just kind of watch you as you shop.
• The park we had the picnic at: This isn’t a store, but I think it’s important to add that the park (and the only park in this town) was a very old looking playground in the middle of a large field, and was fenced in. I don’t know how else to describe it but very “dreamcore” aesthetic if you know what I mean?

Based on my research of this town, apparently people claim for it to be haunted? If I remember correctly, there was an article explaining it was on a ghost hunting show (you could find this by searching “Phoenicia Haunted” or something along those lines.) In my honest opinion, the town felt more cult-like rather than haunted.
The entire town itself was very sketchy to both me and my family. I would love to learn more about the history of it, and why the “norms” of this town are different and a lot weirder than the average town.

From John Keel.com
Alva John Kiehle was born on March 25, 1930, in Hornell, NY. His father was a singer and bandleader; his mother a “lively, pretty girl with a strong sense of humor.” The marriage was a brief one; John was raised by his grandparents in the nearby town of Perry.
As a child he read insatiably (he remembered himself as a “reading machine”), especially anything about magic, humor, science, travel, and aviation. By the time he was 14, he was determined to be a writer: he wrote a column, “Scraping the Keel,” for the Perry Herald; published his own science fiction fanzine, The Lunarite; and was routinely sending out submissions to magazines.
In 1947, he hitch-hiked to Manhattan — or, more specifically, to Greenwich Village. He became associate editor of the quarterly magazine Poets of America (1947-1949), and editor of the weekly newspaper Limelight (1949-1951). At this time, he was also writing for comic books, contributing poetry to various magazines, and turning out scripts for the early TV station WABD. He also wrote scripts for radio shows, including Grand Central Station and First Nighter.
When he was 18, he had a strange (but classic) illumination experience in his furnished room off Times Square. He remembered the room “filled with an indescribable light, a pinkish glow”; and his mind “flooded with a torrent of information.”
In 1951, he was drafted. He spent his military years in Frankfurt, working mostly for the American Forces Network. Some of his programming ideas — a remote broadcast from the Great Pyramid, another from Frankenstein’s Castle — earned him a great deal of publicity.
When he left the army in 1954, he was restless, and determined to see more of the world. He spent the next year wandering throughout the Middle East, supporting himself by sending back stories and articles to his agent, who then placed them in men’s adventure magazines. In Singapore, he was deported as an “adventurer,” and moved to Barcelona, where he turned his experiences into a book, Jadoo.
When Jadoo was published in 1957, he moved back to NYC, and promoted it by performing with cobras in the window of the Midtown Aquarium at Times Square, and with many TV and radio appearances. He suffered a bit of writer’s block after this, and turned to editing the magazine Echo. Funk & Wagnall’s also hired him as a science and geography editor (1959-1960).
In the ’60s, he worked a great deal in television: he was the head writer for the game show Play Your Hunch; and turned out many scripts for such shows as Mack and Myer for Hire, the Chuck McCann Show, and the Clay Cole Show. He also wrote a couple of novels, under his preferred pseudonym, Harry Gibbs.
In 1966, Playboy commissioned him to write an article on UFOs. The resultant piece was rejected (the assignment was turned over to J. Allen Hynek, and published in the December 1967 issue). But he had become hooked on the subject; and traveled around the country, interviewing witnesses, and writing dozens of articles. The phenomenon, he learned, took its toll on its investigators: he entered a shadowy world where black cars vanished on country roads, meaningless messages turned up in hotel rooms, and his phone and mail suffered strange interceptions. In 1966, he made repeated visits to Point Pleasant, West Virginia, then the site of a particularly active monster and UFO flap; the result was one of his most popular books, The Mothman Prophecies. Along the way, he also put out a lively newsletter, Anomaly; wrote a regular column for Saga; and published several classic books on forteana.
He was a technical advisor to the Library of Congress (1968-69), and special consultant to the office of Scientific Research and Bureau of Radiology (1968-71), before becoming a consultant to the Department of Health, Education and Welfare, for whom he produced a prototype for a magazine, You. He also fulfilled a boyhood dream by earning his pilot’s license.
In the 1980s, he attempted a number of plays and novels, none of which made it to the page or stage. He devoted his time to various mail order projects, and revived the dormant New York Fortean Society. And he contributed a regular column to Fate magazine, “Beyond the Known.”
In his later years, he was slowed down considerably by diabetes and its complications. He had some lean times, particularly when cataracts, and the resultant eye surgery, made writing difficult. His luck turned when The Mothman Prophecies was made into a movie in 2002; he was particularly delighted at being portrayed by Richard Gere, whom he referred to as a “John Keel look-alike.” The publicity sparked several new editions of the book, including numerous foreign editions. He bought a car, which he dubbed the Mothmobile, and often disappeared on solo road trips.
With age, his health declined, and he spent several years in and out of hospitals and nursing homes; his friends pitched in to keep him going. He died July 3, 2009, at Mt. Sinai Hospital in Manhattan.
Despite reports to the contrary, he did not die alone and abandoned. Larry “Ratso” Sloman and I were his medical proxies, and very active in helping him in his final years. Many friends visited him in his various hospitals and homes. I was at his bedside the day he died, to give the final directives, and to tell him goodbye. Despite other reports, his papers were saved by his friends and family.

This is a little long, I cut so much out and tried to only leave the information needed for context.
I (34f) have been married to my husband (35m) for 10 years. We did not see his family a lot when we were dating because we were both finishing up college and working. Once we got engaged and started forming our own family things started to go nuts with my In laws, but mainly my MIL.
The first glimpse of hell I saw was with our wedding. She informed us the week of that her family was coming in town from Illinois so neither she nor her husband would be at any events because she had to “host her family”. She did not attend the bridesmaid luncheon, the day off get ready, and did not allow her husband to attend the get ready day with my husband. She also decided that her parents were not going to go to the rehearsal anymore and she was going to push the rehearsal dinner back 45 minutes so her sister could get to the hotel and get a nice nap in. Which caused issues because we set the rehearsal based on the rehearsal dinner time so that would have resulted in all my family and friends (because she made the executive decision that would not be involved in the rehearsal) would have no where to go for 45 minutes. And she then decided they would not come to the venue a little early to get pictures taken. Which she still to this day complains about how she is so sad she didn’t get a picture at our wedding with husbands dad (FIL), my husband, and husbands brother (BIL). Which we ignored because I sent out a detailed photo schedule based on what our photographer told us would work. 3 days before we got married she informed me that she made a seating chart for the rehearsal dinner with place cards without talking to me at all. I asked her to see the seating chart as we have some family members who had contentious divorces and could not be placed at the same table. When she showed me the seating chart she had put every single groomsman at our table and all my bridesmaids at a table away from ours. She put all of her family in primary locations and mine in the back dark corners. And she had the divorced couple and their new spouses at the same table. With me having 3 days before I was getting married I said “no, we can’t do name tags and a seating chart. I don’t have time to deal with re-arranging it. And this arrangement won’t work”. She flipped out. She called my husband threatening him and demanding that he get me in line because she was putting those place cards out. As a 23 year old whose frontal lobe was not fully developed yet I dug my heals in. I told her that if she put the name tags out I would have my bridesmaids gather them up and dispose of them. And she lost it. She was constantly calling and sending text messages berating and cursing at my husband. He ignored the behavior. So she then called the day after we got married and demanded that I meet up with her for lunch so she could have “a conversation about my behavior”. I also later found out that when I did not respond to her, she called my mom (who she does not have a relationship with) and said “I want to get this all fixed. I am very upset she would not do what I wanted. I get people to do what I want them to for a living. And I am very good at it”. To which my mom simply responded “I don’t know what to tell you, you have never had a girl child.” I told my husband and BIL about the message she left me and my BIL (he lived with us at the time) immediately said “You better call her back now and set that up.” To which I said “She is not my mom, she has behaved despicably, and I am about to go on my honeymoon. I will do no such thing.” And he said with a concerned face “You have to call her back or she is going to be very mad. And you don’t want her to be mad. It’s not a good thing.” I kind of laughed it off and thought man my BIL is really dramatic. Well he wasn’t being dramatic. She then proceeded to “punish” me, and continues to do so to this day.
She ostracizes me at any chance she can get. Coordinating and then leaving me out of family pictures, changing the days of vacation plans last minute and “forgetting” to tell us when until it’s to late for me to change my days off as she knows I work in healthcare and have to request days off weeks in advance, and a million other little things that were designed to separate me from their family. Fast forward 5 years and surprise surprise, my husband and I are having marital difficulties. My MIL wrote my husband a letter telling him how she feels divorcing me is the right decision. We go to therapy and we easily fix our marriage. But what therapy did, was shine a bright light for both me and my husband on how dysfunctional his family was, and how that damaged both our marriage and mental health. As well as the childhood trauma my husband has unknowingly been carrying around his whole life. Once my husband got therapy and we presented a United front, she began to punish him as well. This all came to a head at a vacation in NYC in October of 2018. We ended up leaving early and told them that we were no longer interested in having a relationship filled with dysfunction. We told them that coming to therapy with us to work on our communication so we wouldn’t continuously have these issues with them was a non negotiable for continuing our relationship. My MIL lost it, she said she didn’t have time and started a silent treatment. Months went by, no contact from her on my husbands birthday, thanksgiving, Christmas. We had been trying to have a baby for over a year and that December we found out we were pregnant. We were so excited despite all the turmoil with his family. When I was about to be 3 months along, we wanted to announce it to our family and friends publicly on Facebook. We had already told his brother and wife who we had a separate Christmas with. And all of my family already knew. My mom said we could not put that on Facebook without telling his parents first. My FIL was slightly maintaining contact so my husband asked him to meet him for lunch. He told him we were having a baby and I was 3 months along and we were going to publicly announce my pregnancy. Since his mom was still giving us the silent treatment we weren’t sure how to go about that and asked him if he had any ideas on what to do as far as us telling her we were having a baby. He immediately (without our consent as we felt that was rude and wanted to tell her ourself) went home and told her we were having their first grandchild and things really went south then. She called my BIL and berated him for knowing and not telling her. She started sending messages to us saying she was going up to Illinois to see her family and would not be back for a while. No congratulations I might add. From Illinois we started getting messages from her saying that the stocks his grandfather had given him (that he pays the taxes for) were actually hers and he needed to sell them and cash them out and give that money (which she has plenty of money and didn’t need it) to her. She then had her husband drop off the few childhood toys/pictures she had. It was literally 1 small box. And when we kept standing our ground, she FINALLY in February agreed to go to therapy. Well that was a huge mistake. Because she brought her “victim” tears as opposed to the controlling, domineering, manipulative, confident, cold personality she always presents to her family. She refused to acknowledge there were issues and eventually the therapist asked us to have a session with just me and my husband. She told us that his mom was a piece of work who will never change. So we had 2 options; we could end that relationship and likely she would ensure that ended my husbands relationship with any extended family, his dad, and brother. Or we could engage in minimal contact with her while setting strong boundaries with a United front. And if she violates them, Follow through with the consequence stated for the boundary every time she violated one. But that having a normal 2 way relationship with her was probably not likely. And to put this in further perspective, I was pregnant this whole time we are dealing with them. And once they started therapy and she was so awful during the sessions my husband was having continuous and valid meltdowns mourning the loss of ever having a functional relationship with his mom and dad. Their antics continued through out almost my entire pregnancy. It took a toll on my health and I ended up with pre eclampsia and subsequently hemorrhaged after an emergency c section and almost died giving birth. At the insistence of my mom and also because it’s hard to believe that any human is irredeemable we decided to take the boundary setting path.
Things were actually really good for bit when our daughter was an infant. They remained involved and did not play any of the terrible games they did in the past. We were so happy and thought ok maybe it was us. We just didn’t know how to set boundaries. About a year and a half later my SIL (who is an angel on earth and I absolutely adore) got pregnant and had a baby. We were so excited our kids would be close in age and that they lived only 20 minutes away. But apparently my MIL saw that as her opportunity to grow a relationship with her other son who previously did not engage with her like that as a means to punish my husband and I. She would come into town and keep their baby, buying the baby things, buying them things, and really pouring into their child and them. And I guess having a replacement grandchild and son effectively removed her motivation to have a healthy relationship with her oldest son. And it also gave her another tool to use to inflict pain, upset, and turmoil on my husband and me and effectively our child. We continued maintaining our boundaries (which aren’t many) cheerfully but firmly. And this was working until January of this year.
My SIL confided in me that my BIL was not being involved enough with parenting and that resulted in her essentially being a single parent. And that she wanted another baby, but refused to have one with him unless they were closer to family so they could help her with the kids. I adore her and my nephew so much, so without thinking I immediately went to work trying to help them find a good house in our area. We ended up helping my BIL and SIL get a house in our fairly small (100 houses) neighborhood. It is a very nice and unique neighborhood with large lots that are not typical in our area. The houses typically don’t have to be put on the market to be sold because it is such a desirable neighborhood/school district. We did not fully think this through, as our relationship and issues with his parents have always been so separate from our relationship with his brothewife. Mainly because him and his brother don’t have a relationship because my MIL designed it that way. But my SIL and I do. But things have started to change recently.
In January of this year they moved into their new home. And that’s when all the issues cranked back up. It came out that they gave them $250,000 to be able to afford this home. Not loaned, gave. And said it was an inheritance from his grandparents who just died. They gave us $100,000. It is very generous of them, but an indicator of how grossly disproportionate the relationship is. It also became very clear how much time, energy, and money my MIL was pouring into my BIL/SIL. Which my SIL reports is new and somewhat odd behavior. Some of the glaring disparity we have noticed; most of which has occurred since January are as follows. She will come over while they were at work and do their yard work. Which we only knew about because she called us repeatedly asking to use our yard tools for their yard. Which is the first call we received from her in 3 months. Our daughter got sick and got pneumonia, she found out when visiting my nephew because my SIL mentioned it. She called to see how our daughter was and said “I’m not going to come over because I don’t want to get your sickness.” Then literally 2 hours later she was at their house playing with/taking care of our nephew who actively had a fever because he had the same sickness from playing with our daughter. We regularly pass her in the neighborhood leaving their home, yet we hear nothing. They buy our nephew t-shirts when they go on vacations and say they don’t get them for our daughter because my brother sends a bunch of his child’s hand me down play cloths for my daughter. They take him to parks, breakfasts, and events. She bought our child a $25 gift from Marshall’s for our baby shower and our nephew a $200 bouncer. She demanded we take our car seat out and put it in her car so she could take our daughter around when she was going to watch her one morning. My husband explained how hard it was to get them in and out and that my mom had bought a car seat for her car for that reason. She refused, until our nephew came around. Then she immediately went out and got a car seat. We offered to let her keep our daughter overnight when things were good because I didn’t want it to hurt her feelings that my parents get (they are very involved, healthy, loving grandparents and surrogate parents for my husband) her one night a week. And she told us “Oh no, I’m not going to keep any kids here until they are night potty trained and sleeping through the night”. But what she really meant is she isn’t going to keep our child unless she is night potty trained and sleeping through the night. Because she keeps our nephew overnight regularly. Who is not day or night potty trained. Our daughter has been day potty trained since 18months and night potty trained since she was 3. This has also shed some negative light on my FIL as well. We do not see him unless it’s a holiday. And the excuse is always that he golfs 3 days a week at the club and 2 of those days (mondays and fridays) are the days I don’t work and our daughter is home so that they can come (and my MIL does, used to be about 1x a month until this most recent silent treatment) so that’s why he never comes with her. Yet now we see that he is regularly at my BILs house on Friday’s who also doesn’t work on fridays. When our child was little she did not have much to do with my FIL when she saw him because she couldn’t remember him, and he actively admitted “well she doesn’t ever really see me, it’s ok”. Yet he has ensured that he has a relationship with our nephew, and makes sure he gets time in with him. I admit that there has been tension, and I am not one to “fall in line” because someone tells me I should. I have read many of these threads, and she has employed almost all of the tactics that a narcissist and emotionally immature person would use to maintain control. Keeping tax documents, using money/gifts to punish or reward compliance, huge disparity in treatment of one son/his family vs her other son (my husband), unannounced drop bys, leaving SOs out, playing the victim when she gets caught, gifting awful gifts and demanding you display them, playing siblings against each other, and on and on. I have always wanted a big and close family, coming from a small one myself. Yet rejection, pain, and stress is all I have gotten. And we tolerated it prior to it being so continuously rubbed in our face thinking it was cruel to deny our daughter access to her grandparents. We have held on to this relationship because until recently they had not been bad grandparents, and seemed to really love and care for our daughter. And we felt that by going no contact we were removing our daughters chance to make her own decision about her grandparents. But at this point, even our 3.5 year old daughter is noticing that they don’t visit her. And now that my husbands brother lives in our neighborhood that makes things so much more complicated. Can we even go no contact with them? What will we tell our child when she sees her grandparents passing us in the neighborhood? Or her uncle/aunt/cousin, because I feel strongly his mother will not allow his brother to have a relationship with us if we don’t have one with her. And she has a $250,000 guilt trip to hang over his head. Because recently things have gotten a little weird with our BIL/SIL since they moved in and my husbands mom has been around them so much. Our daughter has also formed a relationship with my BIL/SIL and cousin. She loves them so much. This is so distressing, and has been a point of contention and stress since the day we got married. And now that we have a child who we let know them, it feels like an impossible situation to get out of. On top of the whole we physically can’t get away from them now that my BIL/SIL live in our neighborhood. Any advice, insight, or encouragement would be so appreciated. Or if you have any ideas for how to keep the relationship with my BIL and SIL if we decide to go no contact with his parents? Thank you so much if you made this far!