Leisha and Kate with writer Riese Bernard talk about founding of Autostraddle, plus the fans thoughts on Shenny👀, Danish😩, Shane being poly😍, Tasha and Alice💕, SHARMEN 😍🙏🏿😩plus GQ ie Tess and Cherie 🙄 and friendships

Hello!
I'm a 19-year-old AMAB person in so-called British Columbia, Canada.
I went by they/them pronouns from when I was 16 to when I was 18, and presented fairly androgynously.
After resonating immensely with the character of Jules from Euphoria (her sweetness, her psychiatric history, her single-parent home, her nymphomania), I realized I was likely a trans woman, and that I'd be far happier going through the world socializing as a woman. I've been using she/her ever since.
I came across the website That's Gender Dysphoria, FYI, and realized my lifelong reticence to swim topless, as well as my absolute refusal to wear shorts which would display my leg hair since I was 13 (resulting in me suffering in full-length jeans no matter the summer temperature) were likely both manifestations of gender dysphoria. I've also realized that the miserable, nauseating hot flashes and bone aches I feel are likely a visceral physiological reaction to testosterone in my system.
I've done a bit of vocal therapy, and developed a voice that I'm comfortable with.
In terms of my outward presentation, I've concluded that I'd probably be happiest presenting as a low-key tomboy, akin to Robin Buckley from Stranger Things - though right now I'm still basically bedridden; hoodie, sweatpants, depression-beard and all.
I've experienced severe, continuous autistic burnout for the past two years since graduating high school, and am chronically fatigued at all times. To my knowledge, this isn't Long COVID, as I've successfully avoided any symptomatic infection this far into the pandemic.
I initially was interested in taking an SERM, which would have feminizing effects everywhere but my chest, though my endocrinologist was highly reticent about an "experimental treatment" and warned me it could actually increase my testosterone levels (which were/are at a normal male level.) He instead suggested taking the standard transfeminine route of estradiol/spiro.
My mum insisted that I "start slow" and take only 1 mg of estradiol without a T-blocker for 3 months before moving up to 2 mg for another three. I was informed by another trans person that this would be basically no more effective than taking a placebo. After 6 months, when my endo was finally willing to prescribe me a full transitioning dose, I accepted the prescription, but stopped taking my hormones altogether before I could ever open the new bottles.
I have no interoceptive ability to determine if I'd be comfortable developing breasts or not. I've tried asking other trans women what their experience was pre and post-HRT, though they haven't exactly helped (one said she didn't feel any different in her body whatsoever, another had the explicit attitude of "if you don't like your tits, just have 'em cut off.")
I tried on breast forms at a trans-inclusive adult store for about an hour, but found myself just as indifferent with that weight on my chest as without. I feel like I could adapt to having A-cup breasts, which AFAIK is normal for trans women who've already undergone a testosterone puberty, though my family is apparently known for its jumbo-honkers, and most of the women in my life have vented about how having boobs sucks.
In my hamster wheel of indecision, isolation, and alexithymia, my bottles of estradiol and spironolactone pills have just sat on my dresser unopened, collecting dust for the past two months.
I've almost mentally walled off the prospect of transitioning until I can somehow overcome my PDA (of which I am self-diagnosed.) My mum thinks this is absurd, and that I should just start my hormones, though I've tried (and failed) to communicate that I'm attempting to demonstrate that I'm capable of putting someone else's needs above my own, especially considering my general sense of impotence at being a person.
She is a stroke survivor, has raised me by herself on $12,500 a year, is currently undergoing chemotherapy for stage 4 lung cancer, and lives with severe C-PTSD from being assaulted over half a dozen times at work (and despite her best efforts, her trauma response has also transferred to me; given that I was physically violent as a small child - which means that if she hears even a quiver of anxiety in my voice when I perform a task, she is compelled to run in and take over, no matter how physically exhausted she is.)
We can barely communicate whatsoever, and she's repeatedly pleaded with me to completely change my demeanour in her presence. She denies that what she's asking me to do is mask my autism, though it certainly feels like that's what it is. The fact that her C-PTSD and aphasia qualify her as neurodivergent doesn't make it any easier to swallow.
Two analogies I've used to communicate my experience are:

1. I feel like for every two tulip bulbs of goodwill I plant in a furrow, I fail to notice in time that what I think is a third is in fact a live grenade; which destroys the previous two;
2. I feel like I'm watching Jesus sink in quicksand six feet in front of me, but I can't reach out and grab his hand because my ankle is tied to a tripwire, which would trigger a crossbow aimed at his heart.

I've lumped in my gender dysphoria with the rest of my insecurities, and refused to permit myself to transition until I can address them all simultaneously, and completely and utterly transform my personality; including the kind of people I spend my time with (away from people who trample all over my boundaries but who I put up with more than others put up with me), my taste in music (away from ambient non-music towards genuinely avant-garde artists I'll never hear about in my current state of social isolation), my ability to process information (which would mean actually going through my 100 GB+ hoarded archive of Twitter threads I've never had the mental energy to read) and my autistic special interests (away from the vacant monotonousness of Star Wars, towards cognitive science, deep ecology, and actually being able to enjoy reading fiction without my brain putting the faces of random people in my life onto the characters.)
As with basically everything else in my life, I have absolutely no idea what to do, and feel compelled to basically outsource my cognition to whoever happens to have any experience or understanding of the hyperspecific issues I'm dealing with.

Below is a list of the deltas awarded in this post.
Please note that a change of view is not necessarily a reversal, and that OP awarding a delta doesn't mean the conversation has ended.
For a full explanation of the delta system, see here.

Deltas from OP clavicle524

• 1 delta from OP to behannrp for "That stereotype is prevalent cause it's the easiest to see. There are tons of lesbians that do not l..."
  
• 1 delta from OP to amiablecuriosity for "Perhaps you just don't realize they are gay. They don't look gay to you, so you assume they aren't. ..."
  
• 1 delta from OP to ItIsICoachCal for "While I couldn't find any studies attempting to create a wide demographic survay, there are studies ..."
  
• 1 delta from OP to Additional-Scree for "You're assuming the presentation is entirely rigid. For starters, there are more than just butches a..."
  
• 1 delta from OP to Sagasujin for "https://www.autostraddle.com/tops-bottoms-switches-one-last-look-at-all-the-survey-data-424953/ Sor..."
  
• 1 delta from OP to Cycq for "How would you know a woman is gay if she isn't butch?"
  
• 1 delta from OP to HauntedReader for "Looking out into the real world. This is the flaw in your criteria. You likely assume any female yo..."
  
• 1 delta from OP to Rhundan for "Friend, your literal words were "a lesbian who looks feminine (long, flowing hair, clear skin, a nar..."
  
• 1 delta from OP to ItIsICoachCal for "You know, you can read it if you clink on the link. It's all there. The purpose was to look at a pop..."
  
• 1 delta from OP to HauntedReader for "Wait, are you suggesting femme females fake being gay for popularity? Because I don't know how one ..."
  
• 1 delta from OP to HauntedReader for "But that definitive source isn't going to exist because that isn't something that people are really ..."
  
• 1 delta from OP to Nrdman for "You know femme lesbians are common??? What’s the point of your post I’m confused I don’t think that..."
  
• 1 delta from OP to DetroitUberDriver for "This is called selection bias. Essenti..."
  
• 1 delta from OP to ItIsICoachCal for "How do you know if someone is a lesbian? Because if your view is "the only people I can tell are les..."
  
• 1 delta from OP to crowsparrow for "To add to this point, you may find [this article](https://www.thecut.com/2016/12/why-straight-rural-..."
  

Deltas from Other Users

None yet.

Having pmdd is hard enough, but being a trans man and trying not to get dysphoric learning about the condition? Even harder
HOWEVER!! After all my research I’ve done, I wanted to share a list of resources & information here I’ve found that use inclusive language to avoid discomfort. Language on the pages themselves are very gender inclusive, though I cannot promise all the links off of them will be:

• Large list of information regarding pmdd including symptoms, personal self care, current treatments, self care for friends/ family/ partners, and a list of contacts (https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder-pmdd/about-pmdd/)
• Information specifically on masculinising HRT & pmdd (https://iapmd.org/transgender-pmdd)
• This article is phenomenal, nine LGBT+ people with pmdd discussing their experiences (https://www.autostraddle.com/nine-lgbtq-people-speak-about-pre-menstrual-dysphoric-disorder-409428/)
• So much information on PMDD & PME including frequently asked questions on the conditions, as well as tools for both those with pmdd & medical professionals wishing to assist (https://iapmd.org)
• I hope this is okay to post here, and I hope it can be of some benefit to those in a similar spot to me <3

Let’s start the weekend off right, you’re welcome ;)
https://www.autostraddle.com/100-pictures-of-shane-82103/

My name is ( currently ) Shelby . About 7 years ago I first ID’D as a trans woman. A few years ago I started IDing as NB, potentially gender-fluid to see if it would fit better .My family has been referring to me as they/them and it works pretty good. However I’m in supported living since late 2021 and I put on the papers I was a girl, figuring it would be easier since I felt closer to a girl and I wouldn’t have to explain myself as much. My staff, especially the program coordinator , help me a lot by giving me makeup and other feminine things like clothes , maybe a little too much 🤣The thing is, it actually feels pretty good nowadays being referred to as she/ her / a girl and I’ve thinking more about physical transition ( the whole time , I’ve been wanting to transition with Estrogen/ Spiro) . I also somewhat y ID with the whole “lesbian identity” ( you know those people who joke that Lesbian or D*ke is there identity/ gender y; , like I think there was an Autostraddle article about it). I’m starting to think the who NB thing was a bit of a phase/ experimentation and that it would be easier and more accurate to say I’m a girl, just one who doesn’t 100% feel traditionally feminine ( I like action TV shows and shoot ‘em up video games and overall “guy” things but also don’t believe in stereotyping things to one gender )
Any advice?

So I recently read an article about Olivia Cruises, and it made me really want to experience some sort of vacation... experience for lesbians/wlw/queer women/you get the idea. I've also been aware of A-Camp, run by Autostraddle, for several years, and always wanted to go someday. But when I looked at the website for Olivia Cruises, they all looked so expensive, and from what I understand A-Camp is still "on break" from the pandemic and there's no telling when they'll be able to get up and running again.
Has anyone tried out a queer vacation/cruise/resort/summer camp type thing? Any you'd recommend? Any that are... not prohibitively expensive? I'm willing to save up for a few years for something worth it.

We live in a country with a very limited and heavily closeted queer population. She her self isn’t even out to her family. It hadn’t occurred to me before, but she’d never heard of Autostraddle, or Lex, or even But I’m A Cheerleader before. I’m so glad I can introduce her to things like queer history and lesbian meme accounts on Instagram

https://www.npr.org/2021/04/22/989826953/sex-ed-often-leaves-out-queer-people-heres-what-to-know

Sex Ed Often Leaves Out Queer People. Here's What To Know

Sex can be a nerve-racking experience no matter what. That's especially true if you have no clue what to do. And since LGBTQ+ topics are often left out of the conversation in school sex ed classes, many queer people know this feeling well.... Hart suggests masturbation as a way to unlearn that in order to discover what does please you.... Another way to figure out what you do or don't like can be through watching porn*. If this is your preference, consider watching porn created by queer performers — and make sure it's made* ethically, by paying performers and using safe practices.

https://www.autostraddle.com/sorry-straights-these-karaoke-songs-belong-to-the-lesbians/

Maddie’s upcoming film “Bloody Hell” has finished its run at SXSW! Here are the full reviews I found that touch on Maddie’s acting & overall the film itself. I also linked the full articles incase you’re interested or you’re probably gonna watch the film. I’ll add more to this if more reviews come out:

“As Lindy, Ziegler delivers a powerful performance that shows audiences that her career is just starting. Intimate and empathetic, Bloody Hell is a lot more than it appears, and that’s what makes it great.” (9/10) - Review from But Why Tho?
“But even in Lindy’s selfish actions, Ziegler maintains our sympathy and understanding as an audience, and it’s because she’s such a flawed character that Bloody Hell exists in such a real, authentic environment.” (4/5) - Review from The AU Review
“Personal, raw, and at times wickedly funny, the film is an excellent showcase for Ziegler, whose natural performance leaves a lasting impression.” - Review from The Daily Beast
“...and having a similarly strong anchor in Ziegler, the filmmaker shows an extraordinary facility for expressing the self-justifications that skew reality when no other guidance seems available.” - Review from The Moveable Fest
“It’s a heartbreaking journey elevated by a strong performance from Ziegler.” - Review from Collider
“None of that would hit as hard without Ziegler’s stellar performance at the center. You don’t need to be told any of the reasons why she does what she does. They’re all right there on her face and body language, whether subtly or explicitly.” - Review from Loud and Clear
“Ziegler gracefully portrays how this diagnosis affects her character’s outlook, leaning into a vulnerable performance to highlight her character’s insecurities and desire for sexual validation.” - Review from The Daily Texan
“Maddie Ziegler's performance is also pretty fantastic, with a few scenes in which her turn is legitimately heartbreaking.” - Review from @bigtunaonfilm via Twitter
“BLOODY HELL features a strong performance from Maddie Ziegler as a girl diagnosed with a rare reproductive disorder who learns to embrace her body.” - Review from @heylarry via Twitter
“Maddie Ziegler takes a star-turning comedic showcase and nails the timing with her own confidence and sharp wit.” - Review from @rendy_jones via Twitter
”Maddie Ziegler breathes life into the role of Lindy effortlessly” - Review from @TheJosieMarie via Twitter

The film also debuted with 100% on Rotten Tomatoes!
More reviews about the film itself - not really touching on Maddie’s acting:

• ‘Bloody Hell’ Review: A Teen Sex Comedy Thrown a Curveball by Mother Nature - Review from Variety
• SXSW: Probing Identity in “Bloody Hell” - Review from The Film Experience - Rated B
• SXSW 2023: “Bloody Hell” Is A Dope Teen Traumedy When It’s Not Making Nonbinary Folks Disposable - Review from Autostraddle - Rated A+

One more thing I wanted to add, if you are interested in watching this film, there is currently no available place to watch the film, there is no release date & there is no teaser or trailer as of right now. Back in December, I do remember Molly (the director) saying she already has distributors for the movie in the US & Canada & she said in her IG comment section to stay tuned for updates on the film’s release so it’s only a matter of time that we will get more information for the film’s general public release!

Just linked to Autostraddle (it’s a trans and bi inclusive sapphic blog) in another post about queer lady ‘sword lesbian’ culture and saw a fundraiser just started today. Damn, y’all, I used to read their queer lady TV recaps for TV shows that I was never going to watch so I could get the canon backstory before reading femslash fanfics.
…I think that’s the queerest sentence I’ve said in a while. 😂 anyway check Autostraddle out, it’s where my bisexual ass went to read bi and trans friendly meta back when I was a baby bi boinging around “I’m ace! Wait I have pants feelings for this dude! Oh shit if I have a crush on this guy now, that means I had a crush on this girl years ago and didn’t realize it! SIMULTANEOUS DEMISEXUAL AND BISEXUAL EPIPHANY!”
(Mods, I don’t come here often. If I’m violating some kind of subreddit rule about $$ let me know. I ain’t affiliated with Autostraddle, this is just a PSA.)

Is Javicia Leslie always this bad of an actress? I looked back at her career and I guess she had one or two very short major roles but before Batwoman was an extra. I do... not understand what exactly is happening here with her performance of Red Death. It's like she's playing a 1960s Batman villain as he inspiration, but.. not any of the good ones. I mean she mispronounces words like "sentience" (sent-ee ance) "heroism" (hero-ism) and others.
I feel like I'm in the minority here because I keep seeing articles like this one praising the performance
https://www.autostraddle.com/javicia-leslies-ryan-wilder-is-full-of-surprises-on-the-flash/

This is news to me
Both women are actors. Which makes sense - reality show = exposure :D
https://www.backstage.comcarolinerenne
https://www.autostraddle.com/quantum-leaps-trans-girl-basketball-story-is-right-on-time/

https://www.autostraddle.com/big-swiss-review-on-the-queer-age-gap-novel-set-in-a-house-full-of-bees/

Hey everyone, my girlfriend and I will be in Paris for our anniversary (yay!) and wondering if there were any underground events or local spots that are for lesbians or just queer-coded in general. I’ve read the excellent Autostraddle travel guide for lesbians which was helpful but mostly just detailed the obvious spots like Le Mutinerie. Thanks in advance! 🫡🤓🤸‍♀️

No really. It exceeded expectations. It’s definitely a little camp but it is also self aware and not meant to be a fantasy that is like game of thrones level of grit but it’s also not just a satire. It has a really great mix of comedy, high stakes and feels. My wife and I laughed out loud lots of times and were very entertained.
But most importantly it has the most satisfying lesbian love story arc out of any live action media I’ve consumed.
Which is really sad when I think about. I forget how starved I am of mainstream queer media until I see it.
The tension between Kit and Jade is very believable and good and their bantefeelings sharing is very good. Their relationship is not the main point of the fantasy but it is entwined enough to make it the show extra amazing and relatable for those of us who don’t get to see ourselves in fantasy very often. It really has a great amount of romance for an action fantasy where romance is not the main point.
And I can’t believe it was made by Disney. The story reads a little like fan fiction in the best way possible and it seems like the writers had no restrictions on how they wanted this story to go. It truly was amazing to get queer coding and oh wait ACTUALLY QUEER. This show was like the exact opposite of queer baiting…never advertised as queer (to my knowledge) and then quickly establishes yes these characters are queer we aren’t just fucking with you
Usually when I say “now kiss, make out” to the tv it never actually happens. And I didn’t quite realize I was a lesbian until college and this is the type of representation that if I would have seen as a kid I would have been like - oh yes that - that’s what I relate to, guess I’m a lesbian, cool cool cool.
So yeah I just feel like this show is probably under appreciated and under advertised (likely because of the queerness).
And of course you don’t have to like it just because it’s queer but I just thought this was a good place to try and give it a boost as this is a community with an appreciation for sword wielding lesbians.
Also here’s a link to an article that I think dose a better job than me at propping it up.
https://www.autostraddle.com/willow-gives-us-the-lesbian-disney-princess-weve-been-waiting-fo