Chronologica and Mary-Lynn sip drinks together at the Disco.
It’s been so good to have you as my first, darling.
“First of many.” Mary-Lynn smirks.
I think it’s time we open the disco for more suitors.
“I agree.” Mary-Lynn raises a glass. “To the end of the first era…”
Let the DRAG RACE BEGIN!
In a giant orange look made of traffic cones, giant orange hair, a curvy body and a giant wheel in their hands, Rhonda Bout struts into the werkroom archway and looks right into the camera. “Watch out for that RHONDA BOUT!” She yells, before throwing the wheel behind her and winking. “Too late.”
Rhonda Bout: “Oh good golly, this is fun!” Rhonda waves. “My name is Rhonda Bout, and I am a proud Milwuakee Mama! Well, Grandmother, let’s be honest, but a darn sexy one!” Rhonda winks.
“Gee willikers, I’m the first here!” Rhonda cheers.
Rhonda Bout: “I’ve been doing drag for a long time, and now, I’m here on the biggest darn stage in the world! I’m a classic lady…” Rhonda smiles. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not here to win. I’m an older girl, and I’m here to prove we can serve just as much as the younger Queens.”
Producer: “Serve what?”
Rhonda Bout: “Typically a good salad, fried chicken- spicy mayo, because that’s darn too hot otherwise, and some good drag!”
“Now, where’s the cocktails!” Rhonda cackles. “I’m tough, but fair on myself, and I deserve a darn cocktail!”
In a flash, out struts a masked figure in a giant ball gown, a pink Venetian Mask before in intricate pattern. “I’ve got…” Jemma Nye takes away the mask and smiles. “Two sides. I’m a Gemini, of course!”
“I’m a pisces.” Rhonda smiles. “Hippy Dippy!”
Jemma Nye: “Oh yes, are you ready for BRITISH SENSIBILITIES?!” Jemma cheers. “I am the one, the only, Jemma Nye, your winner.” Jemma laughs. “I mean, look at me.” Jemma laughs. “As you can tell, I come from the great UK, but America is my home now. Jemma is a Look Queen. I make all my fabulous garments, and I do it damn well.”
“This is gorgeous, Missy!” Rhonda waves. “Rhonda Bout!”
“Jemma Nye!”
“AHHH, PUNS!” Rhonda screams.
Jemma Nye: “I auditioned on Season 1, but didn’t make it through, surprisingly. But there’s always a plan, and my plan was to be here to slay.”
“I bought this online.” Rhonda laughs.
“I can tell!” Jemma giggles.
Rhonda smiles.
Rhonda Bout: “That one is a bit shady! Oh my.”
Jemma spins around in her dress. “Who’s next?”
Suddenly, Maude "The Tits" Matron arrives in a massive red coat, her legs exposed with a pair of ruby slippers to match. “Little Red Riding Hood is here.” Suddenly, Maude rips off her coat, revealing a MASSIVE pair of fake boobs. “And she’s got tits!”
Jemma Nye: “It makes no sense.”
Rhonda Bout: “I LOVE IT!”
Maude Matron: “Oh hello, world, the Big Titty Committee is here!” Maude points to her chest and fake breasts that she is still wearing in her confessional. “My name is Maude ‘The Tits’ Matron, and I’m Denmark’s finest prostitute dungeon master. And that’s Dungeons and Dragons!” Maude laughs. “I’m really excited to be representing my country on the international stage. I am a total European NERD.” Maude laughs. “My drag is camp, it’s fun, it’s dumb, it’s… boobs!”
“I want your boobies.” Rhonda laughs, running over as she and Maude bump chests.
“God!” Jemma laughs.
“This is just the tits.” Maude smiles.
“It sure is.” Jemma says.
Jemma Nye: “Gosh, these girls are…” Jemma smiles into the camera as a shade rattle is heard. “There’s room for ALL kinds of drag this season!”
“Now Missy, where is that darn cute accent from?!” Rhonda cheers.
“Denmark.” Maude winks. “And you?”
“I Love Lucy!” Rhonda cheers.
Maude and Rhonda cackle, as Jemma Nyeputs back on her mask and poses.
Rhonda Bout: “Miss Maude. She’s so much fun. I love her.”
With stark makeup, painted blue skin, glitter everywhere, a massive glittering bodysuit and headdress, Drag Princesita struts into the werkroom. “¡Hola, pendejas! ¡La princesita ya ha llegado!”
“Si!” Rhonda cheers.
Drag Princesita: “Hola! I am Drag Princesita, the Canarian Queen, and I am ready to sparkle through the competition!” Princesita smiles and shimmies. “I am 28, from Las Palmas, the fabulous CANARY ISLANDS!” Princesita cheers. “I am quintessential Canarian drag artistry. We’re colourful, we’re grand, we’re fabulous!”
“Now THAT is a look.” Jemma says.
“No, that’s a Drag Queen!” Maude responds.
Drag Princesita runs over, kissing the girls on the cheek. “How are we all?”
“Fabulous! My lord, you’re grand.” Rhonda smiles.
“Just a little bit of drag. You know, us Spaniards.. We’re known for it!” Princesita laughs.
“Colonisation?” Maude looks into the camera.
Princesita pauses and then laughs.
Drag Princesita: “I love a show. And that’s what I will be giving here! Canarian fabulosity, darling!”
In a quick step to the front, The Mother Delilah appears draped in a long golden robe, her hair the same golden shade with little bits of glitter throughout. She arrives with a massive fan to match, that she CRACKS open and smirks.
“The Oscar goes to…” Maude winks at Rhonda, who giggles.
“You’re interrupting my moment.” Delilah looks at Maude, who stops herself.
“I’m here.” The Mother Delilah smirks.
“I like it.” Rhonda whispers into Maude’s ear, who nods.
The Mother Delilah: “I am the Mother Delilah, and truly, Mother has arrived.” Delilah smiles. “I am THE legendary Mother of the Haus of Beauvoir, and have been doing drag for over 31 years.” Delilah smiles. “I am a Vogue performer- I am 52, but goddamn it- I can perform any of these little ones.” Delilah smirks.
“Now, let’s chat.” Delilah works over. “How are we ladies?”
“Fabulous.” Jemma Nye smiles.
Jemma Nye: “Mother Delilah. Pretty jewels, I was looooooving it.”
The Mother Delilah: “To me, drag is the art of female impersonation. Comedy isn’t the main thing.”
Mother looks at Maude and Rhonda banter off each other.
The Mother Delilah: “If you don’t have the look, get out of the kitchen.” Mother laughs.
In a dress made of hundreds, if not thousands of Black Diamonds, Black Diamond walks out with a smile on her face, raising her hand in the air. “May the best woman… win! Oh, that’s me!”
“Oh my.” Rhonda says.
Black Diamond: “My name is Black Diamond and I am the prettiest gemstone in the entire world.” Black Diamond smiles. “I am 21 years of age, living in Cape Town, South Africa darling. I am a performer. I am a recent Drag Queen- and I’m here to show I can do what Bug Catcher Stacey could do… but better.”
“Diamonds for the GODS.” Delilah looks at Black Diamond. “Gorgeous.”
“Black Diamond, Drag Queen of… 6 months?” Black Diamond chuckles.
“6 MONTHS?!” Maude gasps, grabbing her tits.
“That is insane.” Jemma says.
“...Did you start when the show did?” Delilah laughs.
“...Yes.” Diamond smiles.
Everyone looks shocked.
Black Diamond: “Drag is EASY. I’m not sure why these Queens are gagged…”
“I have tucking panties older than your career….” Princesita poses dramatically.
Drag Princesita: “Oh my, she’s so new!”
“Crazy…” Delilah says.
Suddenly, a beer can is thrown through the room and Kraven walks into the room in tattered fishnets, a long red and black sweater, long hair and a smirk on their face as they chug a beer can, throwing it onto the ground and crushing it with their sneakers before burping.
Kraven: “Sup.”
“Manners, oh my…” Rhonda whispers.
“They went from the best, to the worst!” Diamond laughs.
“What did you fucking say mate?” Kraven stares at Black Diamond, still standing by the doorway.
“Uhm-”
Kraven: “I’m Kraven, and I’m just here to fucking stir the pot, aye.” Kraven laughs. “Aight, I’m a right fucking icon. I’m a club Queen- I spend my time in the ally’s of Manchester’s finest shitty fucking venue, smoking, sniffi- oh mate, calm down! It’s real, it’s real!” Kraven laughs. “Fuck man. My drug is inspired by the Grunge icons. I don’t give a shit, and that’s fucking sick.”
“Nah babe.” Kraven walks up to Black Diamond, going extremely close. “I’m Kraven. Wanna say it again?”
“Okay, okay…” Delilah walks over. “Children-”
The Mother Delilah: “This punk enters the competition and is ready to fight, literally.”
“I’m Black Diamond.” Black Diamond smiles.
“Don’t try me, aye.” Kraven looks at Black Diamond before walking to the mirrors. “How we doing , mates?”
“...Fabulously.” Drag Princesita smiles.
“Jesus.” Jemma says.
Jemma Nye: “Clearly, this brit isn’t one with class!” Jemma laughs.
Kraven: “I’m fucking punk, man. I’m cool. I’m edgy. These bitches have no idea.”
Kraven sits on the mirror table and observes.
“I’m scared.” Rhonda smiles at Maude.
Rhonda Bout: “My word! What an interesting personality.”
Kraven eyes everyone.
In a long purple poofy gown, with a giant bow, long, delicate lace and gorgeous lilacs in a veil, Mother Destiny Dandridge arrives with a smile on her face. “I think it pisses off God if you walk by the Color Purple and don’t notice it.”
“YES.” Delilah smiles.
“Mother!” Rhonda cheers.
“Mom?” Kraven laughs.
“So notice me!” Destiny raises her hands in the air.
Mother Destiny Dandridge: “Hello, world. I hope you are having a blessed day.” Destiny smiles. “I am Mother Destiny Dandridge, and I do take that title with pride. Being a Mother is hard work, and I am proud of it.” Destiny grins. “I am living in Atlanta, and have been doing drag for a long darn time.” Destiny laughs. “I am a classic Pageant Diva, but I love the new world of drag. I’m learning. They got me on MySpace and everything, my drag kids!”
Delilah hugs Destiny. “Pleased to see you.” Destiny turns to Rhonda and smiles. “And you.” Destiny looks at the others. “My gosh, you all look fabulous!”
Rhonda Bout: “Ms Destiny is a person who I know is all about town in those pageants. I love her.”
“Two Mothers?” Jemma smirks. “Who’s the real Mother?”
“We both are.” Destiny grins.
“I was going to say I’m Mother, she’s Grandmother.” Delilah smirks.
Destiny chuckles. “I’m younger than you!”
“I’m sexier.” Delilah says.
“You ain’t ever seen a sexy grandmother?” Destiny chuckles.
“...No.” Jemma responds.
Destiny smiles, starting to open her mouth when-
Kraven shudders as Blondie A La Mode struts out in a pink catsuit, so bright and pink that it is practically a shining disco ball, a huge blonde wig and a tiny little bag. “OH NO!” Blondie gasps. “I forgot my chapstick.” Blondie pouts.
Everyone looks slightly confused.
Blondie A La Mode: “Hello, my name is Jean-Luc, and I am the other half of Blondie A La Mode.” Jean-Luc nods. “Blondie is… an experience. She’s blonde, mostly, pretty, often, and dumb… always.”
“This isn’t the makeup store.” Blondie frowns.
Blonde A La Mode: “I believe drag and the persona separate from it are… separate people. I’m very dedicated to the character, a comment with my drag- unique skills and abilities that are more dedicated and deliberate then others that were presented on season 1.”
“Who are you?” Drag Princesita smiles.
“I’m Blondie A La Mode, and I am so happy there’s other pretty girls here.” Blondie grins.
…
Mother Destiny Dandridge: “Bless her heart, I can’t tell if she’s serious.”
“Isn’t it chilly today?” Blondie shivers. “I think I need a jacket.” Blondie starts to blow on her bag as everyone watches, the tiny bag suddenly inflating to a pink puffer jacket.
“...How did you do that?” Jemma asks.
“Do what?” Blondie blinks.
In a long, French style white powder wig, stark red and baroque ball gown, Queen Quincy arrives with a massive smile on her face. “The Queen has arrived and she’s ready to slay.”
“The French have invaded?” Blondie gasps.
Queen Quincy: “My name is Queen Quincy, and I am the former Royal Queen of New Orleans, now living in the Florida Scene. I am 31 and a proud Haitian American. My drag is very dedicated to two styles- the french and the lethal, dark side. I’m someone who has endured significant things, but am always dedicated to showing my soul- vulnerability, love and light.”
“I know you!” Blondie smiles, as Quincy looks surprised.
Queen Quincy: “A New Orleans Queen. I know Blondie in circles. Interesting character.”
“I know you.” Quincy smiles, as the Queens all begin to chat.
“This look is, like, so damn pretty.” Jemma Nye smiles. “Jemma Nye, the girl who is just as pretty as you, HAHAHAHA!”
Everyone looks at Jemma cackles.
Rhonda Bout: “Ms Jemma Nye… she has… a nasty laugh, oh my!” Rhonda covers her mouth. “I should’ve kept my mouth shut. As my mother said, ‘If you have nothing nice to say… sit by me!’” Rhonda giggles.
“Thank you?” Quincy smiles.
“I’m also a Gemini.” Blondie grins.
Jemma scoffs.
Jemma Nye: “You cast another Gemini? WHY?”
“But like, is Astrology real?” Kraven adds.
“...Yes.” Jemma and Blondie nod.
Suddenly, a figure arrives covered head to toe in a completely red latex bodysuit that covers their face. Suddenly, they take off their hood, revealing a painted face and long red hair as Kaneq arrives with a confused face. “What was that?”
Kraven snaps her fingers.
Kaneq: “My name is Kaneq, and I am from Iqaluit, Nunavut, Canada. I’m a stark Drag Queen, dedicated to my art and unapologetically indigenous.”
“She’s got a good latex suit. I can tell.” Black Diamond says.
“It’s gorgeous.” Quincy nods.
Kaneq: “I am a crafty, creative and absolutely Inuit. I make my drag- I mean, I cannot really afford to buy it, so…” Kaneq shrugs. “For me, my drag is the power I have within. It’s everything within me, made grander, made more… powerful.”
“Hello, darling!” Destiny grins. “How beautiful you look.”
“..Thanks.” Kaneq nods, walking over to the edge of the werkroom and sitting slightly to the side.
“Oh.” Destiny nods.
Mother Destiny Dandridge: “I do see- quite clearly, Kaneq is a… shy one.”
“A shy drag Queen?” Jemma whispers to Princesita.
“I KNOW, right?!” Princesita looks as the others eye her.
“You look fucking sick.” Kraven says as she walks past Kaneq, who smiles before Kraven sits on the table, eyeing Black Diamond.
Suddenly, In a sweeping holographic golden gown with high-collared puffer raised shoulder pieces, all shimmeringly stoned with diamonds and a matching golden tiara, Royal Virtue arrives, giving a princess’s wave to the room. “Subjects. You may refer to me as ‘Your Majesty.’” She strikes poses like a professional.
“UGH!” Jemma gasps.
“Oh my…” Diamond says.
Royal Virtue: “Alright, aye. Like.. let’s do it.” Royal Virtue grins. “I am Royal Virtue, and I am the Welsh professional of Drag.”
“I am a Royal, after all.” Royal looks at the other racers with a smirk.
Royal Virtue: “As you can tell, I am a performer, I am a look Queen, I am a dancer, and I’m a damn superstar.” Royal Virtue nods. “To be a Drag Queen at its best- I think you need to have expectations, to deliver above and beyond- and I believe I do that. Each look is thought out, with a show in mind. If you’re coming to see a Royal Virtue show, it’s a golden ticket.”
“Aye.” Kraven smirks. “I know you.”
“Hello.” Royal Virtue smiles.
Royal Virtue: “I hear the accent. I don’t know the Lad.”
Kraven: “I’ve heard of the cunt. Pretty talented, but not as much as me.” Kraven cackles.
“Did you make this?” Jemma asks. “Because I make EVE-”
You’ve got drag mail!
“AHHHHHHHHHHH!” Princesita cheers.
Everyone runs over.
To Weather this storm, you better bring a raincoat… or a needle.
“A needle?” Kraven asks.
It’s Drag Time, BITCHES!
Chronologica runs out as everyone cheers.
Racers. Welcome to the second season of DRAG RACE, as we look to find our NE-
Wait a minute.
Everyone looks confused.
Where’s the 13th?
“The what?” Rhonda says.
It’s missing. Someone bring out the box.
“Oh God…” Quincy says.
Suddenly, the pit crew arrives with a giant pink box.
Racers, this season, it’s our lucky 13… so welcome back…
https://preview.redd.it/mewkmpkwr8ja1.png?width=900&format=png&auto=webp&s=5da237c73d58745e89d5163ff61fd9b428785b59
Suddenly, out of the giant pink box arrives Mackenize Jacobs, wearing a big pink babydoll dress, gorgeous blonde updo and a smile on her face. “BARBIE'S BACK!”
Blondie gasps.
Mackenzie Jacobs: “My name is uhm, Mackenzie Jacobs and I am the first out Queen of Season 1!” Mackenzie cheers. “I’m so happy to have been given the opportunity to come back. I’ve bolstered my skills, moved to Queens- I’m a real Drag Queen, and I’m ready to fight for this competition.”
Mackenzie has been given a second shot of a lifetime to compete in this competition again. She’ll be rejoining this… just like you.
Some of the girls look excited, whilst others…
Jemma Nye: “THAT wasn’t in the rules.”
Mackenzie smiles.
But first, it’s time to get right into action. Racers, the winner of this Season will win a fierce crown and sceptre from Moxie Maniac Jewels, the title of next Drag Superstar and $50,000!
Everyone gasps.
Mackenzie Jacobs: “Last season, I had a chance at $25,000. Now, I’m happy I’m back, because I could get DOUBLE. That would pay off those college loans.” Mackenzie smiles.
Now, we’re getting started with a photoshoot mini challenge. Not just any. It’s time to see how well you shoot with MARY-LYNN MONHOE!
Royal Virtue: “A photoshoot with two winners together?” Royal smiles. “Sounds fabulous.”
https://preview.redd.it/vpdv3dlyr8ja1.png?width=900&format=png&auto=webp&s=d25b921984fbf400bf9835556f9cd5d21df5cd84
~
Hello, Rhonda Bout! Say hi to Mary-Lynn.
“Oh, my. You’re darn pretty!” Rhonda smiles.
Mary-Lynn smiles.
Pose with Mary-Lynn.
Rhonda Bout: “PROPS! I need some props!”
Rhonda runs around, before grabbing two bananas.
Mary-Lynn looks confused.
“We need potassium. It’s the key to a healthy breakfast.” Rhonda smirks.
“I do love some bananas in my mouth.” Mary-Lynn says.
The two cackle, as Rhonda grabs another banana.
Where did that come from?!
“A Mother is always prepared.” Rhonda winks. “Call me Mother Rhonda Bout.”
Chronologica chuckles.
…
Hello, Mrs Royal Virtue.
Royal Virtue bows.
Royal Virtue: “I am a Queen. I came with my own crown, but when you’re in the presence of a superstar like Mary-Lynn Monhoe- let’s be honest, one of the few I respected from Season 1, you best treat her with grace.”
Mary-Lynn smiles, before pulling over the other throne nearby.
“Ahh, a Queen who wants a throne.” Mary-Lynn says.
“I’m betting on it.” Royal smiles.
Royal Virtue: “This is a challenge to show up, look fabulous and really, really deliver.”
You look gorgeous.
“I’m ever so pleased to hear that.” Royal grins.
…
Blondie A La Mode!
“Oh my GOD, you’re so PRETTY!” Blondie gasps.
Blondie A La Mode: “Blondie knows how to play a persona up, especially in a photoshoot.”
Blondie spins around, taking out a pink tiara as she hands it to Mary-Lynn, who laughs.
“I always like to have a spare…” Blondie flips her hair.
Mary-Lynn chuckles. “Ok, pretty girl.”
“You think I’m PRETTY?!” Blondie cheers.
The two pose, as Blondie really plays it up. The more she does, the more Mary-Lynn does too, the two of them cackling.
“I like you…” Mary-Lynn says.
“I do too.” Blondie smiles.
~
Welcome back, racers.
You all snapped that shot, but one of you mothered it up…
Blondie A La Mode, Condragulations you’re our mini challenge winner!
Blondie smiles. “Oh my god, like yay!”
Blondie A La Mode: “I won the first challenge of the season. I am very pleased.”
Royal Virtue: “You can’t win everything. As much as I plan to…”
Racers, for this week’s maxi challenge, it’s time to DESIGN.
Everyone looks excited as the pit crew walk out with a bunch of metals, plush- all kinds of weather gear.
For our first maxi challenge, you will not only be crafting a wintery look- but you need to create something that will SURVIVE in wet, rainy… stormy weather… serving Mega-Storm Couture!
Jemma Nye: “Chronologica MADE this challenge for me. I can’t believe I’m winning the first challenge. FAAAAABULOUS! Aren’t you excited for me to slay?”
Good luck, racers… and don’t fuck it up!
~
The racers start getting ready for the main challenge.
“Now, how do we all feel about this fabulous challenge?” Princesita cheers.
“I’m so excited for it.” Jemma nods. “I love putting together my looks.”
“What’s the concept, what’s the idea?” Princesita asks Jemma.
“Grand Majesty, Cinderella has to survive after the BALL!” Jemma grins.
Jemma Nye: “I love a grand, fabulous concept.”
“For me, my mother always told me- big, grand, gay. That’s the Spanish way.” Princesita laughs, before turning over to Mackenzie. “Ms Mack, how do you feel?”
Mackenzie Jacobs: “Of course I’m scared!”
“I am excited.” Mackenzie smiles. “Scared, because-”
“Well, darling, you went home to this challenge.” Jemma says.
Mackenzie nods. “When I left, I picked up some sewing challenges before I reauditioned for this season. I wanted to prove- what I am capable of.”
“You reauditioned?” Princesita raises an eyebrow. “Good move.”
“I feel like I have elevated my drag. My abilities and all of that.” Mackenzie nods. “I’m nervous. But I also feel like I can do this…”
“I’m happy you’re trying.” Jemma smiles. “I’m just… ugh, I know this challenge is mine.”
Behind her, Kaneq eyes Jemma.
Kaneq: “I… don’t know how I feel about Jemma.”
“I just- I am so talented with a look. And there’s a bunch of pretty girls, but you know- I think I’m the most skilled seamstress here.” Jemma says. “No shade.”
Princesita nods.
Kaneq: “I believe myself to be a strong crafter. All of my looks have a strong, powerful point of view. I am dedicated to not just giving drag- but elevating it with my aesthetics.”
“Like, there’s so many pretty girls, but what’s pretty? Where’s Couture.” Jemma adds.
Kaneq: “I believe myself to be perfectly capable of delivering couture. And I think I could win this challenge. Even if I don’t think anyone sees that in me… yet.”
~
Chronologica goes to visit the racers as they prepare for the challenge.
Hello, Kraven.
“Chronologica, how the bloody hell are you mate?” Kraven smirks.
I’m fucking fantastic.
“Yeah, you know what some of these Queens here are?”
What are they?
“Cunts.” Kraven nods. “And fucking hell, this look’s gonna be a shit cunt.”
Chronologica cackles.
“I’m going to be honest. I’m not a fucking seamstress.”
Chronologica makes a face.
“Nah babe, you gotta have those damn performers who can’t sew for shit, it’s fucking entertaining, you know that-”
Chronologica nods.
“I’ve got my headphones on. I’m here to fucking deliver, but I’m not going to be one of those fake cunts who go ‘I am trying tooooo hard, Chronologica. I think I'll do good.’ That’s not me, it’ll never be me.” Kraven shrugs.
“Hmm, she’s already preparing to lip sync.” Jemma whispers to Princesita, who purses her lips.
…
Chronologica walks over to Drag Princesita, who smiles.
Hello, Princesita, how are you?
“Well, unlike others. I’m excited to put some good work into this challenge.” Princesita smiles.
Kraven listens in.
What is your brand here?
“I am going for myself- you know, after a long night of being a drag Queen travelling the world, a bit tattered-”
You’ve been at a man's house.
“Perhaps.” Princesita laughs.
“And I am here to really sell that fantasy. I want to barely survive the storm.” Princesita laughs.
I like the idea. Show it up and there’s some solid potential. Give it grand, and give us a good time.
“I’m a Princesita, it’ll be fantastic.” Princesita winks.
…
Black Diamond.
“Chronologica.” Black Diamond smiles.
Do you have much experience with sewing?
“I mean, usually- I pay the peasants for it.” Black Diamond laughs.
Chronologica looks into the camera.
Ok, Work. How are you going to do this challenge?
“I mean, I have prepared.” Diamond nods. “I am here to give couture, and I am creating a fashionable garment that really shows that.”
Good, that’s exactly what I want to see.
“I promise you, you’ll be pleased.” Black Diamond smiles.
Black Diamond: “I’m not scared about this challenge. I know what I can do.”
…
Ms Matron.
“Call me Tits.” Maude winks.
How do you feel about the challenge, Tits?
“I feel hard and ready.” Maude grins. “I love to make a concept. And for me? Picture this.”
Chronologica chuckles as Maude sticks out her hand.
“SNOWSTORM. 1982! I’ve just been pounded out of my senses.” Maude does the cross.
Chronologica stops herself from giggling.
“And now, I must- half naked, half dead, ripped wig, couture fashion- basically, I’m going to be a Princess of the Castle who has been wrecked by her knight.” Maude smiles.
Maude ‘The Tits’ Matron: “I joke, but this is a fun challenge. I craft some wild looks. So I think I can do this challenge justice. ”
I can’t wait to see how it goes.
~
The racers get ready for the main stage.
“Hello, Mothers!” Rhonda Bout and Maude smile. “Can we join you?”
“The old lady crew?” Delilah smirks.
“I’m not an old lady, I am a Grand Mother.” Destiny chuckles.
“...Grandmother?” Quincy responds.
“Oh lord- I just read my own ass!” Destiny laughs.
Mother Destiny Dandridge: “Call me Grandmother Destiny Dandridge.” Suddenly, Mother’s title is updated to ‘GRAND Mother’ as she cackles.
“Nothing wrong with an old lady crew.” Rhonda smiles. “I can’t wait to prove it on the main stage.”
Delilah looks over at Quincy.
The Mother Delilah: “You know, if you have nothing to say… all I’m going to say is Ms Bout’s look is uhm…”
The camera focuses on Rhonda painting her face, and looking… interesting.
“You know, last season had the oldest person being here at 36.” Destiny smiles. “I’m pleased us old ladies are here to show what we can do.”
“I’m an old soul.” Maude says.
“As do I.” Quincy grins.
“But truly- it’s exciting. You know, at 50 years old, I’ve experienced a lot. But there’s so much more to show, and- I know you’re my age, Delilah-”
“52 and kicking, baby.” Delilah smiles.
“How old are you, Ms Bout?” Destiny grins.
“53.” Rhonda blushes. “Good golly, don’t tell the boy toys that!”
“You don’t have tits like I do, but damn are you fun.” Maude looks at Rhonda and they grin.
“It just feels… damn nice.” Destiny grins, as the others on the table smile.
Rhonda Bout: “I’m really happy to be here. To prove myself, to show- I’ve still got it.”
Meanwhile, Royal Virtue paints with Princesita as Kraven walks over.
“Hello Miss Kraven.” Princesita laughs. “How are you going?”
Royal Virtue: “I’m painting my face with Princesita, when Ms Kraven walks over..”
“You know, I’m not here to tolerate shit.” Kraven smirks. “So, like I said this to Diamond. If you wanna talk shit, you better be prepared.”
Princesita looks confused.
“I am preparing, and if I have to lip sync my life tonight- you all better watch out. So get my damn name out of your mouth unless you want to try it.” Kraven smiles. “Okay?”
“I think you need to calm down, Kraven.” Royal Virtue responds.
“I’m not upset, mate.” Kraven turns, flinging Royal’s lipstick to the floor. “I’m just fucking factual.”
Royal rolls her eyes.
“I’m here to fucking slay, mates!” Kraven laughs, walking off. “So be fucking ready… it’s the season of the Kraven.”
“Oh, that girl is trouble.” Royal Virtue says.
Princesita pouts.
Royal Virtue: “Oh, this is going to be a journey…”
“You dropped your lipstick!” Rhonda gasps, looking at Royal.
“It’s fine.” Royal picks it up. “I’ve got it.”
Royal Virtue: “But I’m prepared.”
Kraven cackles.
~
Stats
Voting
Spreadsheet

Chronologica and Mary-Lynn sip drinks together at the Disco.
It’s been so good to have you as my first, darling.
“First of many.” Mary-Lynn smirks.
I think it’s time we open the disco for more suitors.
“I agree.” Mary-Lynn raises a glass. “To the end of the first era…”
Let the DRAG RACE BEGIN!
In a giant orange look made of traffic cones, giant orange hair, a curvy body and a giant wheel in their hands, Rhonda Bout struts into the werkroom archway and looks right into the camera. “Watch out for that RHONDA BOUT!” She yells, before throwing the wheel behind her and winking. “Too late.”
Rhonda Bout: “Oh good golly, this is fun!” Rhonda waves. “My name is Rhonda Bout, and I am a proud Milwuakee Mama! Well, Grandmother, let’s be honest, but a darn sexy one!” Rhonda winks.
“Gee willikers, I’m the first here!” Rhonda cheers.
Rhonda Bout: “I’ve been doing drag for a long time, and now, I’m here on the biggest darn stage in the world! I’m a classic lady…” Rhonda smiles. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not here to win. I’m an older girl, and I’m here to prove we can serve just as much as the younger Queens.”
Producer: “Serve what?”
Rhonda Bout: “Typically a good salad, fried chicken- spicy mayo, because that’s darn too hot otherwise, and some good drag!”
“Now, where’s the cocktails!” Rhonda cackles. “I’m tough, but fair on myself, and I deserve a darn cocktail!”
In a flash, out struts a masked figure in a giant ball gown, a pink Venetian Mask before in intricate pattern. “I’ve got…” Jemma Nye takes away the mask and smiles. “Two sides. I’m a Gemini, of course!”
“I’m a pisces.” Rhonda smiles. “Hippy Dippy!”
Jemma Nye: “Oh yes, are you ready for BRITISH SENSIBILITIES?!” Jemma cheers. “I am the one, the only, Jemma Nye, your winner.” Jemma laughs. “I mean, look at me.” Jemma laughs. “As you can tell, I come from the great UK, but America is my home now. Jemma is a Look Queen. I make all my fabulous garments, and I do it damn well.”
“This is gorgeous, Missy!” Rhonda waves. “Rhonda Bout!”
“Jemma Nye!”
“AHHH, PUNS!” Rhonda screams.
Jemma Nye: “I auditioned on Season 1, but didn’t make it through, surprisingly. But there’s always a plan, and my plan was to be here to slay.”
“I bought this online.” Rhonda laughs.
“I can tell!” Jemma giggles.
Rhonda smiles.
Rhonda Bout: “That one is a bit shady! Oh my.”
Jemma spins around in her dress. “Who’s next?”
Suddenly, Maude "The Tits" Matron arrives in a massive red coat, her legs exposed with a pair of ruby slippers to match. “Little Red Riding Hood is here.” Suddenly, Maude rips off her coat, revealing a MASSIVE pair of fake boobs. “And she’s got tits!”
Jemma Nye: “It makes no sense.”
Rhonda Bout: “I LOVE IT!”
Maude Matron: “Oh hello, world, the Big Titty Committee is here!” Maude points to her chest and fake breasts that she is still wearing in her confessional. “My name is Maude ‘The Tits’ Matron, and I’m Denmark’s finest prostitute dungeon master. And that’s Dungeons and Dragons!” Maude laughs. “I’m really excited to be representing my country on the international stage. I am a total European NERD.” Maude laughs. “My drag is camp, it’s fun, it’s dumb, it’s… boobs!”
“I want your boobies.” Rhonda laughs, running over as she and Maude bump chests.
“God!” Jemma laughs.
“This is just the tits.” Maude smiles.
“It sure is.” Jemma says.
Jemma Nye: “Gosh, these girls are…” Jemma smiles into the camera as a shade rattle is heard. “There’s room for ALL kinds of drag this season!”
“Now Missy, where is that darn cute accent from?!” Rhonda cheers.
“Denmark.” Maude winks. “And you?”
“I Love Lucy!” Rhonda cheers.
Maude and Rhonda cackle, as Jemma Nyeputs back on her mask and poses.
Rhonda Bout: “Miss Maude. She’s so much fun. I love her.”
With stark makeup, painted blue skin, glitter everywhere, a massive glittering bodysuit and headdress, Drag Princesita struts into the werkroom. “¡Hola, pendejas! ¡La princesita ya ha llegado!”
“Si!” Rhonda cheers.
Drag Princesita: “Hola! I am Drag Princesita, the Canarian Queen, and I am ready to sparkle through the competition!” Princesita smiles and shimmies. “I am 28, from Las Palmas, the fabulous CANARY ISLANDS!” Princesita cheers. “I am quintessential Canarian drag artistry. We’re colourful, we’re grand, we’re fabulous!”
“Now THAT is a look.” Jemma says.
“No, that’s a Drag Queen!” Maude responds.
Drag Princesita runs over, kissing the girls on the cheek. “How are we all?”
“Fabulous! My lord, you’re grand.” Rhonda smiles.
“Just a little bit of drag. You know, us Spaniards.. We’re known for it!” Princesita laughs.
“Colonisation?” Maude looks into the camera.
Princesita pauses and then laughs.
Drag Princesita: “I love a show. And that’s what I will be giving here! Canarian fabulosity, darling!”
In a quick step to the front, The Mother Delilah appears draped in a long golden robe, her hair the same golden shade with little bits of glitter throughout. She arrives with a massive fan to match, that she CRACKS open and smirks.
“The Oscar goes to…” Maude winks at Rhonda, who giggles.
“You’re interrupting my moment.” Delilah looks at Maude, who stops herself.
“I’m here.” The Mother Delilah smirks.
“I like it.” Rhonda whispers into Maude’s ear, who nods.
The Mother Delilah: “I am the Mother Delilah, and truly, Mother has arrived.” Delilah smiles. “I am THE legendary Mother of the Haus of Beauvoir, and have been doing drag for over 31 years.” Delilah smiles. “I am a Vogue performer- I am 52, but goddamn it- I can perform any of these little ones.” Delilah smirks.
“Now, let’s chat.” Delilah works over. “How are we ladies?”
“Fabulous.” Jemma Nye smiles.
Jemma Nye: “Mother Delilah. Pretty jewels, I was looooooving it.”
The Mother Delilah: “To me, drag is the art of female impersonation. Comedy isn’t the main thing.”
Mother looks at Maude and Rhonda banter off each other.
The Mother Delilah: “If you don’t have the look, get out of the kitchen.” Mother laughs.
In a dress made of hundreds, if not thousands of Black Diamonds, Black Diamond walks out with a smile on her face, raising her hand in the air. “May the best woman… win! Oh, that’s me!”
“Oh my.” Rhonda says.
Black Diamond: “My name is Black Diamond and I am the prettiest gemstone in the entire world.” Black Diamond smiles. “I am 21 years of age, living in Cape Town, South Africa darling. I am a performer. I am a recent Drag Queen- and I’m here to show I can do what Bug Catcher Stacey could do… but better.”
“Diamonds for the GODS.” Delilah looks at Black Diamond. “Gorgeous.”
“Black Diamond, Drag Queen of… 6 months?” Black Diamond chuckles.
“6 MONTHS?!” Maude gasps, grabbing her tits.
“That is insane.” Jemma says.
“...Did you start when the show did?” Delilah laughs.
“...Yes.” Diamond smiles.
Everyone looks shocked.
Black Diamond: “Drag is EASY. I’m not sure why these Queens are gagged…”
“I have tucking panties older than your career….” Princesita poses dramatically.
Drag Princesita: “Oh my, she’s so new!”
“Crazy…” Delilah says.
Suddenly, a beer can is thrown through the room and Kraven walks into the room in tattered fishnets, a long red and black sweater, long hair and a smirk on their face as they chug a beer can, throwing it onto the ground and crushing it with their sneakers before burping.
Kraven: “Sup.”
“Manners, oh my…” Rhonda whispers.
“They went from the best, to the worst!” Diamond laughs.
“What did you fucking say mate?” Kraven stares at Black Diamond, still standing by the doorway.
“Uhm-”
Kraven: “I’m Kraven, and I’m just here to fucking stir the pot, aye.” Kraven laughs. “Aight, I’m a right fucking icon. I’m a club Queen- I spend my time in the ally’s of Manchester’s finest shitty fucking venue, smoking, sniffi- oh mate, calm down! It’s real, it’s real!” Kraven laughs. “Fuck man. My drug is inspired by the Grunge icons. I don’t give a shit, and that’s fucking sick.”
“Nah babe.” Kraven walks up to Black Diamond, going extremely close. “I’m Kraven. Wanna say it again?”
“Okay, okay…” Delilah walks over. “Children-”
The Mother Delilah: “This punk enters the competition and is ready to fight, literally.”
“I’m Black Diamond.” Black Diamond smiles.
“Don’t try me, aye.” Kraven looks at Black Diamond before walking to the mirrors. “How we doing , mates?”
“...Fabulously.” Drag Princesita smiles.
“Jesus.” Jemma says.
Jemma Nye: “Clearly, this brit isn’t one with class!” Jemma laughs.
Kraven: “I’m fucking punk, man. I’m cool. I’m edgy. These bitches have no idea.”
Kraven sits on the mirror table and observes.
“I’m scared.” Rhonda smiles at Maude.
Rhonda Bout: “My word! What an interesting personality.”
Kraven eyes everyone.
In a long purple poofy gown, with a giant bow, long, delicate lace and gorgeous lilacs in a veil, Mother Destiny Dandridge arrives with a smile on her face. “I think it pisses off God if you walk by the Color Purple and don’t notice it.”
“YES.” Delilah smiles.
“Mother!” Rhonda cheers.
“Mom?” Kraven laughs.
“So notice me!” Destiny raises her hands in the air.
Mother Destiny Dandridge: “Hello, world. I hope you are having a blessed day.” Destiny smiles. “I am Mother Destiny Dandridge, and I do take that title with pride. Being a Mother is hard work, and I am proud of it.” Destiny grins. “I am living in Atlanta, and have been doing drag for a long darn time.” Destiny laughs. “I am a classic Pageant Diva, but I love the new world of drag. I’m learning. They got me on MySpace and everything, my drag kids!”
Delilah hugs Destiny. “Pleased to see you.” Destiny turns to Rhonda and smiles. “And you.” Destiny looks at the others. “My gosh, you all look fabulous!”
Rhonda Bout: “Ms Destiny is a person who I know is all about town in those pageants. I love her.”
“Two Mothers?” Jemma smirks. “Who’s the real Mother?”
“We both are.” Destiny grins.
“I was going to say I’m Mother, she’s Grandmother.” Delilah smirks.
Destiny chuckles. “I’m younger than you!”
“I’m sexier.” Delilah says.
“You ain’t ever seen a sexy grandmother?” Destiny chuckles.
“...No.” Jemma responds.
Destiny smiles, starting to open her mouth when-
Kraven shudders as Blondie A La Mode struts out in a pink catsuit, so bright and pink that it is practically a shining disco ball, a huge blonde wig and a tiny little bag. “OH NO!” Blondie gasps. “I forgot my chapstick.” Blondie pouts.
Everyone looks slightly confused.
Blondie A La Mode: “Hello, my name is Jean-Luc, and I am the other half of Blondie A La Mode.” Jean-Luc nods. “Blondie is… an experience. She’s blonde, mostly, pretty, often, and dumb… always.”
“This isn’t the makeup store.” Blondie frowns.
Blonde A La Mode: “I believe drag and the persona separate from it are… separate people. I’m very dedicated to the character, a comment with my drag- unique skills and abilities that are more dedicated and deliberate then others that were presented on season 1.”
“Who are you?” Drag Princesita smiles.
“I’m Blondie A La Mode, and I am so happy there’s other pretty girls here.” Blondie grins.
…
Mother Destiny Dandridge: “Bless her heart, I can’t tell if she’s serious.”
“Isn’t it chilly today?” Blondie shivers. “I think I need a jacket.” Blondie starts to blow on her bag as everyone watches, the tiny bag suddenly inflating to a pink puffer jacket.
“...How did you do that?” Jemma asks.
“Do what?” Blondie blinks.
In a long, French style white powder wig, stark red and baroque ball gown, Queen Quincy arrives with a massive smile on her face. “The Queen has arrived and she’s ready to slay.”
“The French have invaded?” Blondie gasps.
Queen Quincy: “My name is Queen Quincy, and I am the former Royal Queen of New Orleans, now living in the Florida Scene. I am 31 and a proud Haitian American. My drag is very dedicated to two styles- the french and the lethal, dark side. I’m someone who has endured significant things, but am always dedicated to showing my soul- vulnerability, love and light.”
“I know you!” Blondie smiles, as Quincy looks surprised.
Queen Quincy: “A New Orleans Queen. I know Blondie in circles. Interesting character.”
“I know you.” Quincy smiles, as the Queens all begin to chat.
“This look is, like, so damn pretty.” Jemma Nye smiles. “Jemma Nye, the girl who is just as pretty as you, HAHAHAHA!”
Everyone looks at Jemma cackles.
Rhonda Bout: “Ms Jemma Nye… she has… a nasty laugh, oh my!” Rhonda covers her mouth. “I should’ve kept my mouth shut. As my mother said, ‘If you have nothing nice to say… sit by me!’” Rhonda giggles.
“Thank you?” Quincy smiles.
“I’m also a Gemini.” Blondie grins.
Jemma scoffs.
Jemma Nye: “You cast another Gemini? WHY?”
“But like, is Astrology real?” Kraven adds.
“...Yes.” Jemma and Blondie nod.
Suddenly, a figure arrives covered head to toe in a completely red latex bodysuit that covers their face. Suddenly, they take off their hood, revealing a painted face and long red hair as Kaneq arrives with a confused face. “What was that?”
Kraven snaps her fingers.
Kaneq: “My name is Kaneq, and I am from Iqaluit, Nunavut, Canada. I’m a stark Drag Queen, dedicated to my art and unapologetically indigenous.”
“She’s got a good latex suit. I can tell.” Black Diamond says.
“It’s gorgeous.” Quincy nods.
Kaneq: “I am a crafty, creative and absolutely Inuit. I make my drag- I mean, I cannot really afford to buy it, so…” Kaneq shrugs. “For me, my drag is the power I have within. It’s everything within me, made grander, made more… powerful.”
“Hello, darling!” Destiny grins. “How beautiful you look.”
“..Thanks.” Kaneq nods, walking over to the edge of the werkroom and sitting slightly to the side.
“Oh.” Destiny nods.
Mother Destiny Dandridge: “I do see- quite clearly, Kaneq is a… shy one.”
“A shy drag Queen?” Jemma whispers to Princesita.
“I KNOW, right?!” Princesita looks as the others eye her.
“You look fucking sick.” Kraven says as she walks past Kaneq, who smiles before Kraven sits on the table, eyeing Black Diamond.
Suddenly, In a sweeping holographic golden gown with high-collared puffer raised shoulder pieces, all shimmeringly stoned with diamonds and a matching golden tiara, Royal Virtue arrives, giving a princess’s wave to the room. “Subjects. You may refer to me as ‘Your Majesty.’” She strikes poses like a professional.
“UGH!” Jemma gasps.
“Oh my…” Diamond says.
Royal Virtue: “Alright, aye. Like.. let’s do it.” Royal Virtue grins. “I am Royal Virtue, and I am the Welsh professional of Drag.”
“I am a Royal, after all.” Royal looks at the other racers with a smirk.
Royal Virtue: “As you can tell, I am a performer, I am a look Queen, I am a dancer, and I’m a damn superstar.” Royal Virtue nods. “To be a Drag Queen at its best- I think you need to have expectations, to deliver above and beyond- and I believe I do that. Each look is thought out, with a show in mind. If you’re coming to see a Royal Virtue show, it’s a golden ticket.”
“Aye.” Kraven smirks. “I know you.”
“Hello.” Royal Virtue smiles.
Royal Virtue: “I hear the accent. I don’t know the Lad.”
Kraven: “I’ve heard of the cunt. Pretty talented, but not as much as me.” Kraven cackles.
“Did you make this?” Jemma asks. “Because I make EVE-”
You’ve got drag mail!
“AHHHHHHHHHHH!” Princesita cheers.
Everyone runs over.
To Weather this storm, you better bring a raincoat… or a needle.
“A needle?” Kraven asks.
It’s Drag Time, BITCHES!
Chronologica runs out as everyone cheers.
Racers. Welcome to the second season of DRAG RACE, as we look to find our NE-
Wait a minute.
Everyone looks confused.
Where’s the 13th?
“The what?” Rhonda says.
It’s missing. Someone bring out the box.
“Oh God…” Quincy says.
Suddenly, the pit crew arrives with a giant pink box.
Racers, this season, it’s our lucky 13… so welcome back…
https://preview.redd.it/mqeou8kzr8ja1.png?width=900&format=png&auto=webp&s=d1912d85ad9d1cebb0b2b7089cc7f72a0624e108
Suddenly, out of the giant pink box arrives Mackenize Jacobs, wearing a big pink babydoll dress, gorgeous blonde updo and a smile on her face. “BARBIE'S BACK!”
Blondie gasps.
Mackenzie Jacobs: “My name is uhm, Mackenzie Jacobs and I am the first out Queen of Season 1!” Mackenzie cheers. “I’m so happy to have been given the opportunity to come back. I’ve bolstered my skills, moved to Queens- I’m a real Drag Queen, and I’m ready to fight for this competition.”
Mackenzie has been given a second shot of a lifetime to compete in this competition again. She’ll be rejoining this… just like you.
Some of the girls look excited, whilst others…
Jemma Nye: “THAT wasn’t in the rules.”
Mackenzie smiles.
But first, it’s time to get right into action. Racers, the winner of this Season will win a fierce crown and sceptre from Moxie Maniac Jewels, the title of next Drag Superstar and $50,000!
Everyone gasps.
Mackenzie Jacobs: “Last season, I had a chance at $25,000. Now, I’m happy I’m back, because I could get DOUBLE. That would pay off those college loans.” Mackenzie smiles.
Now, we’re getting started with a photoshoot mini challenge. Not just any. It’s time to see how well you shoot with MARY-LYNN MONHOE!
Royal Virtue: “A photoshoot with two winners together?” Royal smiles. “Sounds fabulous.”
https://preview.redd.it/zlru04o0s8ja1.png?width=900&format=png&auto=webp&s=03699739cc26e45d598667cd48d60a8f1cf42a6e
~
Hello, Rhonda Bout! Say hi to Mary-Lynn.
“Oh, my. You’re darn pretty!” Rhonda smiles.
Mary-Lynn smiles.
Pose with Mary-Lynn.
Rhonda Bout: “PROPS! I need some props!”
Rhonda runs around, before grabbing two bananas.
Mary-Lynn looks confused.
“We need potassium. It’s the key to a healthy breakfast.” Rhonda smirks.
“I do love some bananas in my mouth.” Mary-Lynn says.
The two cackle, as Rhonda grabs another banana.
Where did that come from?!
“A Mother is always prepared.” Rhonda winks. “Call me Mother Rhonda Bout.”
Chronologica chuckles.
…
Hello, Mrs Royal Virtue.
Royal Virtue bows.
Royal Virtue: “I am a Queen. I came with my own crown, but when you’re in the presence of a superstar like Mary-Lynn Monhoe- let’s be honest, one of the few I respected from Season 1, you best treat her with grace.”
Mary-Lynn smiles, before pulling over the other throne nearby.
“Ahh, a Queen who wants a throne.” Mary-Lynn says.
“I’m betting on it.” Royal smiles.
Royal Virtue: “This is a challenge to show up, look fabulous and really, really deliver.”
You look gorgeous.
“I’m ever so pleased to hear that.” Royal grins.
…
Blondie A La Mode!
“Oh my GOD, you’re so PRETTY!” Blondie gasps.
Blondie A La Mode: “Blondie knows how to play a persona up, especially in a photoshoot.”
Blondie spins around, taking out a pink tiara as she hands it to Mary-Lynn, who laughs.
“I always like to have a spare…” Blondie flips her hair.
Mary-Lynn chuckles. “Ok, pretty girl.”
“You think I’m PRETTY?!” Blondie cheers.
The two pose, as Blondie really plays it up. The more she does, the more Mary-Lynn does too, the two of them cackling.
“I like you…” Mary-Lynn says.
“I do too.” Blondie smiles.
~
Welcome back, racers.
You all snapped that shot, but one of you mothered it up…
Blondie A La Mode, Condragulations you’re our mini challenge winner!
Blondie smiles. “Oh my god, like yay!”
Blondie A La Mode: “I won the first challenge of the season. I am very pleased.”
Royal Virtue: “You can’t win everything. As much as I plan to…”
Racers, for this week’s maxi challenge, it’s time to DESIGN.
Everyone looks excited as the pit crew walk out with a bunch of metals, plush- all kinds of weather gear.
For our first maxi challenge, you will not only be crafting a wintery look- but you need to create something that will SURVIVE in wet, rainy… stormy weather… serving Mega-Storm Couture!
Jemma Nye: “Chronologica MADE this challenge for me. I can’t believe I’m winning the first challenge. FAAAAABULOUS! Aren’t you excited for me to slay?”
Good luck, racers… and don’t fuck it up!
~
The racers start getting ready for the main challenge.
“Now, how do we all feel about this fabulous challenge?” Princesita cheers.
“I’m so excited for it.” Jemma nods. “I love putting together my looks.”
“What’s the concept, what’s the idea?” Princesita asks Jemma.
“Grand Majesty, Cinderella has to survive after the BALL!” Jemma grins.
Jemma Nye: “I love a grand, fabulous concept.”
“For me, my mother always told me- big, grand, gay. That’s the Spanish way.” Princesita laughs, before turning over to Mackenzie. “Ms Mack, how do you feel?”
Mackenzie Jacobs: “Of course I’m scared!”
“I am excited.” Mackenzie smiles. “Scared, because-”
“Well, darling, you went home to this challenge.” Jemma says.
Mackenzie nods. “When I left, I picked up some sewing challenges before I reauditioned for this season. I wanted to prove- what I am capable of.”
“You reauditioned?” Princesita raises an eyebrow. “Good move.”
“I feel like I have elevated my drag. My abilities and all of that.” Mackenzie nods. “I’m nervous. But I also feel like I can do this…”
“I’m happy you’re trying.” Jemma smiles. “I’m just… ugh, I know this challenge is mine.”
Behind her, Kaneq eyes Jemma.
Kaneq: “I… don’t know how I feel about Jemma.”
“I just- I am so talented with a look. And there’s a bunch of pretty girls, but you know- I think I’m the most skilled seamstress here.” Jemma says. “No shade.”
Princesita nods.
Kaneq: “I believe myself to be a strong crafter. All of my looks have a strong, powerful point of view. I am dedicated to not just giving drag- but elevating it with my aesthetics.”
“Like, there’s so many pretty girls, but what’s pretty? Where’s Couture.” Jemma adds.
Kaneq: “I believe myself to be perfectly capable of delivering couture. And I think I could win this challenge. Even if I don’t think anyone sees that in me… yet.”
~
Chronologica goes to visit the racers as they prepare for the challenge.
Hello, Kraven.
“Chronologica, how the bloody hell are you mate?” Kraven smirks.
I’m fucking fantastic.
“Yeah, you know what some of these Queens here are?”
What are they?
“Cunts.” Kraven nods. “And fucking hell, this look’s gonna be a shit cunt.”
Chronologica cackles.
“I’m going to be honest. I’m not a fucking seamstress.”
Chronologica makes a face.
“Nah babe, you gotta have those damn performers who can’t sew for shit, it’s fucking entertaining, you know that-”
Chronologica nods.
“I’ve got my headphones on. I’m here to fucking deliver, but I’m not going to be one of those fake cunts who go ‘I am trying tooooo hard, Chronologica. I think I'll do good.’ That’s not me, it’ll never be me.” Kraven shrugs.
“Hmm, she’s already preparing to lip sync.” Jemma whispers to Princesita, who purses her lips.
…
Chronologica walks over to Drag Princesita, who smiles.
Hello, Princesita, how are you?
“Well, unlike others. I’m excited to put some good work into this challenge.” Princesita smiles.
Kraven listens in.
What is your brand here?
“I am going for myself- you know, after a long night of being a drag Queen travelling the world, a bit tattered-”
You’ve been at a man's house.
“Perhaps.” Princesita laughs.
“And I am here to really sell that fantasy. I want to barely survive the storm.” Princesita laughs.
I like the idea. Show it up and there’s some solid potential. Give it grand, and give us a good time.
“I’m a Princesita, it’ll be fantastic.” Princesita winks.
…
Black Diamond.
“Chronologica.” Black Diamond smiles.
Do you have much experience with sewing?
“I mean, usually- I pay the peasants for it.” Black Diamond laughs.
Chronologica looks into the camera.
Ok, Work. How are you going to do this challenge?
“I mean, I have prepared.” Diamond nods. “I am here to give couture, and I am creating a fashionable garment that really shows that.”
Good, that’s exactly what I want to see.
“I promise you, you’ll be pleased.” Black Diamond smiles.
Black Diamond: “I’m not scared about this challenge. I know what I can do.”
…
Ms Matron.
“Call me Tits.” Maude winks.
How do you feel about the challenge, Tits?
“I feel hard and ready.” Maude grins. “I love to make a concept. And for me? Picture this.”
Chronologica chuckles as Maude sticks out her hand.
“SNOWSTORM. 1982! I’ve just been pounded out of my senses.” Maude does the cross.
Chronologica stops herself from giggling.
“And now, I must- half naked, half dead, ripped wig, couture fashion- basically, I’m going to be a Princess of the Castle who has been wrecked by her knight.” Maude smiles.
Maude ‘The Tits’ Matron: “I joke, but this is a fun challenge. I craft some wild looks. So I think I can do this challenge justice. ”
I can’t wait to see how it goes.
~
The racers get ready for the main stage.
“Hello, Mothers!” Rhonda Bout and Maude smile. “Can we join you?”
“The old lady crew?” Delilah smirks.
“I’m not an old lady, I am a Grand Mother.” Destiny chuckles.
“...Grandmother?” Quincy responds.
“Oh lord- I just read my own ass!” Destiny laughs.
Mother Destiny Dandridge: “Call me Grandmother Destiny Dandridge.” Suddenly, Mother’s title is updated to ‘GRAND Mother’ as she cackles.
“Nothing wrong with an old lady crew.” Rhonda smiles. “I can’t wait to prove it on the main stage.”
Delilah looks over at Quincy.
The Mother Delilah: “You know, if you have nothing to say… all I’m going to say is Ms Bout’s look is uhm…”
The camera focuses on Rhonda painting her face, and looking… interesting.
“You know, last season had the oldest person being here at 36.” Destiny smiles. “I’m pleased us old ladies are here to show what we can do.”
“I’m an old soul.” Maude says.
“As do I.” Quincy grins.
“But truly- it’s exciting. You know, at 50 years old, I’ve experienced a lot. But there’s so much more to show, and- I know you’re my age, Delilah-”
“52 and kicking, baby.” Delilah smiles.
“How old are you, Ms Bout?” Destiny grins.
“53.” Rhonda blushes. “Good golly, don’t tell the boy toys that!”
“You don’t have tits like I do, but damn are you fun.” Maude looks at Rhonda and they grin.
“It just feels… damn nice.” Destiny grins, as the others on the table smile.
Rhonda Bout: “I’m really happy to be here. To prove myself, to show- I’ve still got it.”
Meanwhile, Royal Virtue paints with Princesita as Kraven walks over.
“Hello Miss Kraven.” Princesita laughs. “How are you going?”
Royal Virtue: “I’m painting my face with Princesita, when Ms Kraven walks over..”
“You know, I’m not here to tolerate shit.” Kraven smirks. “So, like I said this to Diamond. If you wanna talk shit, you better be prepared.”
Princesita looks confused.
“I am preparing, and if I have to lip sync my life tonight- you all better watch out. So get my damn name out of your mouth unless you want to try it.” Kraven smiles. “Okay?”
“I think you need to calm down, Kraven.” Royal Virtue responds.
“I’m not upset, mate.” Kraven turns, flinging Royal’s lipstick to the floor. “I’m just fucking factual.”
Royal rolls her eyes.
“I’m here to fucking slay, mates!” Kraven laughs, walking off. “So be fucking ready… it’s the season of the Kraven.”
“Oh, that girl is trouble.” Royal Virtue says.
Princesita pouts.
Royal Virtue: “Oh, this is going to be a journey…”
“You dropped your lipstick!” Rhonda gasps, looking at Royal.
“It’s fine.” Royal picks it up. “I’ve got it.”
Royal Virtue: “But I’m prepared.”
Kraven cackles.
~
Stats
Voting
Spreadsheet

Ok, so me and my lady tried 1 bagging for the first time, on our first ever journey across Asia together. I wanted to write up what we did, what's worked and what hasn't so it can be a sort of case-study for other people looking to do the same as us.

I will update this post with more information as I learn it. I'll get my partner to update with her stuff too. There's a YT called wehatethecold for anyone interested in travel

How we were and currently are travelling - what bags, what weight, what class, where we're travelling

So to start off our travel, we wanted to do it as budget as possible and with as little stuff as possible. Here are the guides we set for ourselves:

• 1 Backpack each (40L)
  • Carry on dimensions (50 x 40 x 20)
  • 7-10kg weight
  • Multiple compartments
  • Portable vacuum bags
• Budget airline travel for every destination (besides longhaul bc economy isn't really economy)
  • Vietjetair
  • Ryanair
  • Air Aisa
  • EasyJet
  • (all the shit ones bc we're not well off)
• Public transport to and from destinations
  • Rail (cheapest possible class 3 whenever)
  • Buses (cheapest possible, local buses etc)
  • Occasional Grab or Uber to get to a hotel from airport
• Destinations - all hot weather (mostly)
  • Thailand
  • Vietnam
  • Cambodia
  • Laos
  • Malaysia
  • Indonesia
  • India
  • Pakistan

Our First Time Packing List (4 months on what's worth and whats not)

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credit: wehatethecold YT
Quick note: I did not realise because I'm stupid. Northern Vietnam is freezing in the mountains, when it is raining and you're on a motorbike. Take a damn jacket or a waterproof. I was stupid enough to listen to the whole "just buy a poncho while you're there" a nice, light waterproof jacket would have been amazing for my trip. Oh and gloves! I left my Sealskinz behind sadly and my fingers froze. Oh well... life goes on
​

Clothing	Type	Worth it? (Y/N)	Why is it worth/not?
1 polo shirt	Fabletics gym polo	Y	cheap, easily dries, breathable, light weight
2 cotton shirt	H&M white	Y	cheap, throwaway tops, not much space, 1 long sleeve was godsend for cooler days
1 synthetic gym shirt	Fabletics	Y	Great, light t-shirt, dries easily, doesn't smell
2 hawaiian shirts	Random Cambodian Brand	Y	Picked these up in Cambodia. Nice light material for ultra hot days, don't take up barely any space, really lightweight, but easily shrink in drier. I would buy 2-3 sizes up to combat this.
2 shorts	Fabletics one short	Y	cheap, dries easy, doesn't smell, stretchy, all round great
1 pair joggers	H&M brand	Y	cheap, not light at all, warm, only really useful for Vietnam where it was freezing
1 pair of jeans	River Island	N	only used for 1 flight here. was useful for layers in vietnam, but heavy and not worth it imo
7 pairs of socks	Primark sport socks	Y	great socks, no need for these crazy expensive material ones, they work well in heat and in cold. ended up chucking 3 pairs for more bag space
7 pairs boxers	Pierre Calvini (some off brand calvins lol)	Y	cheap, comfortable, durable. ended up chucking 3 pairs for bag space

​

Electronics	Type	Worth it?	Why or not?
Macbook Pro	Apple	Y	Need for working on the move. Small, compact 13 inch. Takes up most of my bag weight though. At least a kg.
Camera	Go Pro	Y	Great for videos and photos, got a little action cam so not heavy, but camera box hogs space.
3 x Camera Batteries	Go Pro	Y	Go Pro has shit battery capacity. If you're out a lot and want to take photos and videos you'll need these
Triple camera battery charger	Cheap Amazon	Y	There are rarely many plugs in hotel rooms, and it saves you having to wait triple the time to charge batteries. I would recommend some kind of multi plug for all electronic devices
Electronics pack	Cheap Amazon	Y	Just a little bag to keep all wires and shit. Great for convenience, you know where everything is and great on the plane.
Battery pack 13800mAH	Cheap Amazon	Y	Great little pack this, really cheap like £30 and charges multiple phones and a laptop at the same time. Hasn't broken yet. Only downside is it takes ages to charge up.
Wires, chargers, headphones etc	Multiple	Y	Needed for charging devices. I would personally try to get multi-plugs. Recently bought a multiple USB plug with 40W+ and it's great for saving space plus charging multiple things at once

Other miscellaneous useful stuff we packed:

• Soap bar (better than shower gel bc of ml limits)
• Portable vacuum bags with vacuum pump (best purchase we made, saves so much space)
• Books for reading 1-2
• 20KG resistance band for working out
• Travel towel (microfibre and doubles up as a camera lens cleaner)
• First aid kit (homemade)
  • Paracetamol
  • Cocodamol
  • Throat sweets
  • Bandages
  • Disinfectant wipes
  • Detol wipes
  • Sniffy stuff for colds (vicks but off brand)
  • Deap heat cream
  • Mossie bite cream
  • Bungy cords
• Tweezers
• Anti-histamine (insect bites, trust me if you react you're going to want these)
• Toothbrush, toothpaste, floss etc
• Headbands
• Makeup
• Nail clippers
• Batter electric shaver
• Plastic cutlery (god send this is an absolute must of mine)
• Deodorant

Tips on Picking A Bag - What Bag Did We Pick?

Right, so I'm going to say this right off the bat. For me it was a lot easier to chuck my stuff away than it was my partner. Within the first week I'd realised I'd packed way too much. So had my partner, but she is more sentimental with things and was reluctant to throw stuff away until month 2. So bare in mind if you're an over-packer, you'll most likely end up dropping weight along the way, because the heat and the weight while travelling budget is a nightmare.
Quote from her: "you'll be surprised how heavy your cr*p gets after a while"
The bags we chose after checking out multiple stores were the Osprey Farpoint and Fairpoint 40L.
I really would have loved to opt for a Trek 55L, because the back support is raised and mesh and it would have been beautiful in the hot weather to have that, plus would have been more comfortable
If you're picking up a bag first time do not order it online, do this instead:

• Take a day out and go to town
  • We took this as like a date day/planning day and it turned out to be really fun
  • You'll also head into shops and realise there's a lot of useful products you'll have forgotten about
• Find different camping and outdoor shops
  • Millets
  • GoOutdoors
  • Blacks
  • Trespass
  • Whatever your country has
• Try on the bags
  • Cannot stress this one enough - you want to be comfortable while travelling and you want logical things
  • Think about pockets and where they're located, do you have an easy access one for all your documents etc? god send in airports when you need to take your f*cking laptop out every damn time
  • Look at the structuring of the bag. Is it sturdy? Will it keep it's shape?
  • Many shops will price match anyways
• Don't buy some cheap stuff on Amazon
  • If you're going for a long time, this bag is essentially your home
  • I was going to opt for a cheap brand until my partner said this
  • Go for a reputable brand with good returns and a nice warranty
• Once you have a bag pack it and go out for a hike with it
  • I wish I did this because I would have dropped a lot of things if I'd had known how annoying the weight was after time

Top Tip on Shoes

The countries we went to are bloody hot, and you're going to want breathable shoes for that, but there are also amazing mountains and lots of terrible pathways, so you're also going to want grippy shoes too.
A great tip I learned completely by accident (only works in the UK), is if you buy running shoes from runnersneed or snow and rock, they give you a warranty whereby you can pretty much return in 2 years if the shoes have broken through use.
If you use your shoes a lot, this is almost always the case and you get a free store credit for new shoes if they break through use. I've done this 3 times so far.
Take 1 pair of trail runners:

• they're nice and sturdy
• great grip for days where you wanna go adventure
• some are waterproof
• usually breathable (not waterproof ones)
• they're pretty bearable in the heat
• easy to slip on and off

Bite the bullet, look like a d*ckhead and buy some crocs:

• Easy to pack as pretty much flat
• Ok grip on the bottom
• Slip on and off
• God send in the torrential rain of Asia
• Your feet might rub and hurt though

I would personally wait until you arrive at said location unless you have unusually large feet, because you can get really cheap knock off crocs that are pretty much the exact same. I have UK Size 11 feet so it's pretty much impossible for me to find shoes in my own country let alone Asia.
If you don't mind walking around multiple shops and have the lady or market guy tell you he has your size when they don't and you have to say no a lot and keep doing that until you find your pair, then you can also buy your crocs there. If you cba just buy the damn crocs in your home country
I personally took a pair of GoreTex Nike Pegasus Trail shoes. My partner took some Nike Air Max and some sandal type things.
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https://preview.redd.it/lg31xfo6g5fa1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0fc05d8431ebe55a5f6d3d00c196f91b564f2c21
https://preview.redd.it/f3fkpoq6g5fa1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e755c970b24152b33b7b8a48c4c9d496c65fc94b
She reviewed: "the sandals are good in the heat, and better than trainers in the sun. sandals are better than flip flops because they stay on. but physical activities and treks are really not suitable, and you're way more likely to slip. also tan lines are to be laughed at"

Have we been charged for overweight bags?

Never had a problem with any budget airline with this as of yet, apart from one time. However, the flight ended up getting cancelled and we hopped on another flight and they didn't check our bags. Haven't bought extra baggage weight once, and I'm sure it's only a matter of time until someone does weigh them, but buying baggage every time adds up for 2 people.
We also had a good idea to combat this if the weight does go over, and will update this when we find out if it works or not.
Few things to note from what we've seen:

• If you fly international you're more likely to have your bags checked
• If you fly domestic you're much less likely to have your bags checked
• All long haul flights come with enough baggage weight to get you in the continent
• Once you're in the continent, there are rarely bag checks for international and domestic flights (we experienced it once)

Getting through airport security easily

Separate your bag into electronics and clothes:
On airport days we have these foldable bags I bought from a bus station in Thailand. It's a bag with no structure that you can fold up (think string bag, but with padded shoulder straps). I wish I knew the brand because it's fucking great, but I'll put some pictures below so you can pick it up if you're in BKK bus station.
https://preview.redd.it/lebyogv7g5fa1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5434decbd13407ca57dedfab3b7831e0f99bfbd3
https://preview.redd.it/9c750hv7g5fa1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=37fbd618fde726d1e78f233e8580e82d53d360cf
https://preview.redd.it/lmflshv7g5fa1.jpg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=07d058c514c35ee88b20da3a17b6614b9d4ad65a
Chuck all the electronics and liquids stuff in there, wear your big bag on your back and put the electronics bag on your front.
This way you don't have to screw around searching for all your electronics stuff to put in the box to go through security. Just empty the bag you have in the tray and done! Keep your liquids there too.
It's also nice to wear the bag on the front, because it sort of balances the huge weight on your back and makes the whole walk to the airport or journey wherever a lot more comfortable.
Liquids:
The airlines always say no more than 100ml and you have to put them in the clear bag, but there have been many occasions where I've forgotten to remove some bottle of shampoo or my partner has shoved some skin care shit in my bag way over 100ml and we've never been stopped. Only to go through and find out later that we just went through with more than we're supposed to.

Staying Healthy While Travelling (Tips I've Picked Up)

I thought I could shed a little light on this since I love the gym and working out. I was much bigger in terms of muscle mass before I started travelling and I lost a lot of weight during travels. However I'm still 80kg at 10-12% bf at 180cm while travelling which I think is pretty good considering I'm constantly hopping around. Usual stay is 2-3 nights in a hotel then off again. Also my body type is easy to put on fat.
Here's what I do to stay healthy while on the road:

• Intermittent fasting
  • breakfast 6am/7am
    • black coffee for breakfast (pinch of salt will change the game for you)
    • maybe pea protein shake at 10am-12pm to curve hunger, but no milk, just water, want to starve carbs for ketosis, don't use tap water!
    • maybe some fruit instead of the pea protein, but light fruit, no banana or starchy fruit. something like watermelon or apple or citrus style stuff.
  • lunch 1-2pm
    • some kind of lean meat with rice and veggies, then some fruit after pretty easy to find street food like this
    • usually go for BBQ meats sizzled on coal you can find this pretty much everywhere in Asia, it's decent compared to other street food and tastes banging
    • run into a convenience shop and grab some salad
    • if there's no convenience shop and I'm on a motorbike in the middle of nowhere you can usually find a fruit stand or some kind of fruit shop
    • noodle soups are good for on the road
  • snack inbetween 4-6pm
    • nuts
    • fruit
    • sticky rice
    • depends on how i'm feeling. if i feel low energy I'll have something starchy to pick me up a bit
  • dinner 6-8pm
    • beef, chicken, eggs... some kind of meat for proteins, with some kind of carb, can usually find some decent noodles or mini BBQ meat sticks about, omlettes are good to find
    • pretty much the same as lunch but i'll have some different flavouring or a different dish
• Working out
  • 3 times a week 30 mins to 1hr30 (depends how much time I have) all bodyweight exercises
    • (if anyone wants it i have a gym program entirely built from bodyweight exercise I use as a google sheet and I can hand it out for free, it's got youtube videos with instructions etc. I made it for my brother to get fit for his wedding but he didn't use it so might as well share the love)
    • Push ups, squats, lunges, sit ups, chair dips, pike pushup, l-sits, handstands, pullups... whatever you can do get it in
    • Sometimes I'll get my packed bag and use it as weight. I'll do curls with it or I'll squat with it on
    • Point is to push yourself to your limit, you don't need all the fancy weights and machines and shit. Just push yourself to the point of failure on exercises. Add some HIIT stuff in there to kill yourself. Eat and drink afterwards. Simple as.
    • Also try to make your exercises dynamic exercises. This way you get stretching, mobility work and muscle building all in one. It's hard to keep up while travelling so don't make it hard for yourself, build a workout plan that hits all 3 in one, short session. You really don't need to workout as much as people think.

Eating healthy foods on the road tips

Go for nuts, fruit or some kind of salad from shops if you're on the move. Most places will sell BBQ meat at the stands and you can also pick up BBQ fish. Eat noodle broths, or some kind of steamed rice meal and try to really avoid all the fried stuff.
Dried bananas are a god send. Filling, generally not that unhealthy, great with nuts for a protein, healthy, energy filled snack on the move.
Noodle broth is almost available everywhere in most Asian countries (SEA anyway). Very decent meal with veggies, protein and carbs to keep you going.
At times I will eat fried chicken because it's the only decent protein available in some places. If you have to do that, so be it. As long as your active and keeping up working out etc you'll be fine.

Tips on Sun Cream, Toiletries, Medicine etc.

I've seen a lot of people say get sun cream before you go. Don't listen to this, it's extremely cheap from any supermarket in all Asian countries I've been to so far - Vietnam, Thailand, Cambodia.
Paracetamol and other pharmaceuticals are extremely cheap too.
Shampoo is a little more expensive and so is deodorant. Additionally conditioner is pretty expensive too. So if you have some kind of special hair routine (my partner has really curly hair), then you'll pay a little more here. I'd make use of the included cabin space here before coming.
Lip care is more expensive here. Branded lip balms etc. The other stuff is just fine, but if you are particular about a brand then i'd bring a few with you.
A lot of pads (for ladies) my partner tells me have cooling stuff in them. So if you're not used to that down there, then it's a little harder to find the non-cool ones apparently. But they're very cheap.
If you're travelling for a long time, use roll on. Roll on deodorant lasts months compared to spray.
Don't buy DEET or any of the chemical mosquito sprays. DEET worked a little, but it didn't worked nearly as well as Eucalyptus oil. Most of the local people use this stuff and it's a lot, lot better. I've literally seen mosquitos try to bite me and after I put it on, they come back, but fly away when they get close. My partner got eaten alive until we found this out.
This is about all I can think of for now. I will update this post with more information as I continue to travel further and make my one bag experience more refined.

Edit for workout plan:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/e/2PACX-1vR7uMUCCF8hy2ha3QjYc42qEtci-yg8dXZQqDc7y_S8DHbwuDiQ2F-VLHIjkoOkzcJI2WGC0rIZSvU9/pubhtml
(please watch the video at the top of the sheet to understand how to use it)
They were all made for my brother, so I'll use a different name. Also the copy I made was for my Thai friend, so there will be a name dissonance lol. Enjoy!