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Hi Guys!
So I fell off the wagon, and its one of my worst relapse in 2-3 years. So I decided to make this account as the first step to my recovery, and post my thoughts, and experiences during this journey. Your thoughts, experiences and encouragement I always welcome!
Socrates said something like: How sad it is that the person who lies to us the most, never leaves us, because it is ourselves. I have found this to be particularly true in regards of this addiction.
We lie to ourselves and fool ourselves. I have always found that the best way to fight my mind, my toxic habits is to speak the truth. And instead of relapsing into this warm disgusting habit I will write the truth, bring light to the shadow, and be my best self step by step.
A key element of theater is the “willing suspension of disbelief” meaning that the audience consciously sets aside its knowledge that what is happening on stage is fiction and pretends for the duration of the performance to believe that what it’s watching is real.
Lies I tell myself:

1. Porn is good. Whereas what happens on my screen is a terrible and evil act. If my psyche wouldn't have been infected so young (and even now when I abstain for a longer time) I see it what it is a terrible act, the normal reaction should be vomiting.
2. That it is me who is experiencing this lie. When in reality I'm in a dark room front of a laptop fapping to other people like voyeur. I'm degrading myself. This is not someting a healthy man does.
3. My third lie I tell myself that this is allright. That one more time is allright. That my relapse is allright. Whereas it is not allright. I'm robbing myslef of so much with this. It robs me of my energy, my creativity therfore my performance in my carreer, and living my best life, my time with my friends, robs me of my confidence with girls. Robs me from a healthy relationship that is otherwise easily achieveable. Robs me from being a great partner, robs me from being sensitive for my partners needs. robs me from being a great lover. Robs me from being human. It's a pact with the devil, fulfilling a natural desire in an evil way, not exerecising self control, and paying soo soo much more for a fading moment of pleasure, yet not even realising. The worst thing? It's a deathly spiral since it makes your life worse and worse you turn to it more and more, you sink deeper and deeper, while loosing the ability to fight against.

My truths that I live by from this moment:

1. Porn a terrible thing. It is degrading both for it's makers and for it's viewers. It was degrading me, me engageing in pmo in the past was a harmful, degrading, shameful act.
2. I have not experienced those fantasies. It is other people, and even they fake it. What really happened were a degrading, sad and evil act when I engaged in pmo.
3. My past decisions and acts engageing in pmo were not acceptable, and not allright in any way. I fooled myself thinking it was allright but I robbed myself of time, energy, my confidence, my experiences, success in my carrier, success in my romantic life, and robbed myself of experienceing life to it's fullest.

My pledge today (2023.03.28.)
I will not engage in pmo ever again. I am done with it once and for all. If I ever relapse in my life I will fight tooth and nail to get on my path again. In no way shape or form will I think, feel, or speak of pmo as anything else but a harmful, toxic, degrading and evil act. I will dedicte myself to live a healthy sex life and to live life to it's fullest.
My affirmations:

1. My past is not a reflection of my future. The old has gone, the new is here! Every day I'm getting better and better.
2. I am worthy of a wonderful, loving and sexually fulfilling relationship.
3. I am worthy of the perfect womans love whose image lives in me.
4. I will find her when the time is right.
5. I am a work in progress. I am working on to be the best version of myself every day.
6. I am enough.
7. I humble myself and face my trials with endless patience, perseverance, and power.
8. I take full responsibility for my needs and desires.
9. My needs and desires will be fulfilled in the right time.
10. I consider it pure joy, when I face trials, because I know that the testing of my faith will produce perseverance and lead me to become a mature and perfect man.

Thats it folks. I wanted to write about my journey so far with nofap and where I am at now, but maybe another time. I wish you luck!

Hello,
I am 28 years old. I make about $65k/year. I save 11% with a 4% match on my employer's part for a total of 15%. They max at 4% contribution. I have saved 7k in my 403b so far. I have some credit card debt that will be finished being paid off by the end of April. I live with family to save money on rent, and the only debt I have is my car 368$/month and my car insurnace 130$/month. I have about 1k in savings. Once I finish paying off my credit cards, I will be able to save about 2300$/month. I want to buy a house, but this just doesn't seem viable. How can I better position myself financially?
will hopefully have 23k in savings by the end of the year.
​
Proposed budget after credit cards:
Monthly income after taxes and 403b contributions:3300
Car payment: 368
Insurance: 130
Monthly fuel: 100$
spending allowance:$400
Savings: $2300

This one's another novel I read when I was 11. I can't clearly recall the book cover but it has like a wooden table with a chair, there's a large pot, and a woman with an apron but her face is not shown. I think it's set in like 1950s/60s US but in the countryside with the large farms. The novel follows the life of a white woman when she moved to this town when she was maybe a teenager until her middle-age. She was a runaway and moved in with her aunt and uncle and their daughter. Their daughter becomes very jealous of her because her parents pay so much attention to the MC and also because the MC becomes really close to her bestfriend.
I'm getting confused because there's this other focal male character but I don't remember how he connects to the MC. I'm pretty sure he's not a love interest but he visits the MC later in her life so maybe a family member? All I remember is that he catches rides on boxcars and is like a salesman or something. I remember a scene with him where he was hanging around with a man on a field and then they kissed and got intimate.
The MC works and owns a shop (don't remember what kind) along with her childhood friend (her cousin's bestfriend) who's now a single mother to a daughter. She treats them like family and is really fond of the kid. Oh also I guess her aunt and uncle are both dead by that part. There really wasn't so much romance in this book. There are men who comes and goes in their lives. But she remained unmarried into her 30s/40s. Her cousin moved to the city. There's something about a necklace plot connected to this cousin but I don't remember the specifics. The biggest plot, I guess, is about her friend's daughter who ran away. The ending is her coming back and I remember the MC being jealous of their relationship knowing the kid won't really open up to her because she's not her mother.
​
Edit:
Just remembered, the other male character is her brother. They weren't runaways, they're orphans because their single mom left them in like a festival. And I think the MC's brother was the baby daddy of her bestfriend.

So I have a friend, who has been single for a very long time. In fact, he's never really had a boyfriend. For the past 2 years or so (just around when COVID restrictions started lifting), he has gotten fixated on finding a boyfriend. Like it's all he can talk about. All conversations with him eventually lead to his complaining that he's single, guys don't like relationships, guys don't like him, guys are flaky/shallow, guys only want sex, guys only care about money etc. At first, I thought this was a temporary mindset and he was just reacting this strongly after lockdown because of the pandemic. But it has gotten worst as time has gone on.
What brought things to a head is that my fiancé and I got engaged a few months ago and have been slowly planning our wedding. At first he seemed happy for us, but as time has gone on, he's become very sippy, not just at us, but towards all the couples in our friend group. It's made a lot of people not want to get together to plan things out. My boyfriend and I are estranged from most of our families for the typical reasons, you might expect for gay men. So it means a lot of have our friends kind of take the roles that would have gone to family members and helping us plan.
He has made things unbearable and all about his singleness. He always has something sarcastic and negative to say ("Thanks for letting help out with planning your wedding, since I'm never going to have my own!", "I guess only the good looking guys get happily ever afters", "I guess the guys with money just want to marry each other and us peasants have to beg outside for scraps"). Please note, my fiancé and I are neither insanely rich or outstandingly handsome (well I think he is, but I'm bias), but it's like he's been lionising everything to make the wedding seem "outrageous", "unrealistic", or "unattainable".
He says these things in a "I just JOKING" way, and with anyone else I would probably believe that, but these catty/mean comments have been happening so frequently that I just don't buy that he means it light heartedly.
He also has had the audacity to ask me to set him up with dates, implying that I owe it to him since I'm having a wedding while he's still single and thus embarrassing him. Note, I've tried setting him up in the past, but according to the dudes I set him up with, he came on WAY too strong, was super clingy, and was already talking about relationships and LOVE before they had finished their coffee. And those guys are now in long term relationships with other men, so they were genuinely looking for relationships. So I honestly don't want to set him up with another friend, because that would be unfair to the friend.
The cherry on top is that he has started confiding to another single friend, whom has never said anything negative about being single. But now he's starting to immitate his behavior and has started to commiserate with him.
I know most of you will say to dump him as a friend. Admittedly, this would be the logical choice. But he was my first openly gay friend. When I came out to my family and my brother punched me and my father disowned me, he held me as a cried and drank myself to sleep that weekend. He's been there for me when I was at my lowest, I don't want to write him off unless I really have to.
I know I need to have a discussion with him about how his actions/statements/attitudes have become intolerable at this point. My friends and I have tried to broaching the topic before but he becomes defensive, will make excuses, and will redirect the conversation.
So how can I have a direct conversation with him, without him feeling threatened/criticized so he doesn't try to run away from the topic? How can I frame it? Should I have him come over one on one to watch TV, then transition into the discussion or should I tell him directly what I want to talk about? Should it just be me or should other friends that he's started to become critical of also be present to Voice their concerns/hurt, or would that make him feel like he's being gained up on?
Any experience and/or advice on organizing/framing this discussion would be of a great help.
TLDR: Chronically single friend had started to become intolerable toxic/mean/snippy since fiancé and I got engaged. His negatively is affecting the friend group and I need help on how to frame a discussion with him that won't feel overly critical so he doesn't try to deflect.

It feels like everyone is so plugged in to how things work right they can't grasp the idea of chat gtp taking over their job. It's so strange the only people really worried about it taking their jobs are programmers ,who I feel like are least at risk( Once there's no skills involved in programming their won't be any jobs for more than a few week's). I think there's not enough conversation about the role of AI and it's really worrying.

so i recently bought a new ssd for my pc and i put windows on it and set it up properly but now i want to use my hdd which is the c drive for just storage and it wont let me change anything to do with it in the disk manager but i have made it so the ssd is first in the boot sequence in the bios. any help on how to fix this?

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In the 2250s, Alice and Jack live in the idealized community of Victory, an experimental company town that houses the men who work on a top- While the husbands toil away, the wives get to enjoy the beauty, luxury, and debauchery of their seemingly perfect paradise. However, when cracks in her idyllic life begin to appear, exposing flashes of something sinister lurking below the surface, Alice can't help but question exactly what she's doing in Victory.
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In ancient Kahndaq, Teth Adam bestowed the almighty powers of the gods. After using these powers for vengeance, he was imprisoned, becoming Shazam 2 Fury of the Gods. Nearly 5,000 years have passed, and Shazam 2 Fury of the Gods has gone from man to myth to legend. Now free, his unique form of justice, born out of rage, is challenged by modern-day heroes who form the Justice Society: Hawkman, Dr. Fate, Atom Smasher, and Cyclone.
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Also known as Черния Адам
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Production companies : Warner Bros. Pictures.
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At San Diego Comic-Con in July, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson had other pShazam 2 Fury of the Godsple raising eyebrows when he said that his long-awaited superhero debut in Shazam 2 Fury of the Gods would be the beginning of “a new era” for the DC Extended Universe naturally followed: What did he mean? And what would that kind of reset mean for the remainder of DCEU's roster, including Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the rest of the Justice League, Suicide Squad, Shazam and so on.As
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“I feel like this is our opportunity now to expand the DC Universe and what we have in Shazam 2 Fury of the Gods, which I think is really cool just as a fan, is we introduce five new superheroes to the world,” Johnson tells us. Aldis Hodge's Hawkman, Noah CentinShazam 2 Fury of the Gods's Atom Smasher, Quintessa Swindell's Cyclone and Pierce Brosnan's Doctor Fate, who together comprise the Justice Society.) “One anti-hero.” (That would be DJ's Shazam 2 Fury of the Gods.)
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“And what an opportunity. The Justice Society pre-dated the Justice League. So opportunity, expand out the universe, in my mind… all these characters interact. That's why you see in Shazam 2 Fury of the Gods, we acknowledge everyone: Batman , Superman , Wonder Woman, Flash, we acknowledge everybody.There's also some Easter eggs in there, too.So that's what I meant by the resetting.Maybe 'resetting' wasn't a good term.only
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one can claim to be the most powerful superhero .And Johnson, when gently pressed, says it's his indestructible, 5,000-year-old Kahndaqi warrior also known as Teth-Adam, that is the most powerful superhero in any universe, DC, Marvel or otherwise
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. "By the way, it's not hyperbole because we made the movie."And we made him this powerful.
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In addition to being Johnson's DC Universe debut, “Shazam 2 Fury of the Gods” is also notable for marking the return of Henry Cavill's Superman. The camShazam 2 Fury of the Gods is likely to set up future showdowns between the two characters, but Hodge was completely unaware of it until he saw the film.
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“They kept that all the way under wraps, and I didn't know until maybe a day or two before the premiere,” he recently said Shazam 2 Fury of the Gods FULLMOVIE ONLINE
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While Disney eventually releases its various studios' films on Disney Plus for subscribers to watch via its streaming platform, most major releases don't arrive on Disney Plus until at least 45-60 days after the film's theatrical release. WW

Dear Friend,
I am writing to you this letter in hopes you will find it after you come back home from your urban jungle. I don't think he is going to try or even bother destroying this message.
He doesn't care about what I try to say, write or convey in any way to someone. He already destroyed my credibility. I just hope that you, my friend, will understand why I'm gone...
​
I dreamed his scheme again this night. You have tried to understand why I am so scared of him, for which I am grateful for, but you still do not comprehend his nature. It is partly my fault. I thought I could win.
Even now the paranoid thoughts I have tried to control plague my mind as every second one revolves around him, that misleading mind-warper. I praise him and I detest him because of the things he wants to accomplish.
It is because of the way he reaches his goals that I can't look at him with indifference. As I explained it to you multiple times - dozens perhaps - he does his workings through me. Even from the first time I encountered him, in Limp Village.
I don't think you remember that specific bike ride around the village - for you it was no different from all the other ones we did. We talked about fictional vampires and werewolves like we liked to talk for most of our childhood, enjoying the peaceful warm autumn in our hamlet while we rode our bikes slowly.
I was talking how I want a new bike, as I started being jealous of yours. You told me I can use yours whenever I want. We rode back towards our homes, riding besides Lungners convenience store and the church. The sky looked crimson already as the sun was setting when we stopped for a break next to that tiny set of abandoned houses all of us at school liked to call "Limp Village".
Why we called it that, I have no idea, but I do remember the stories about that place. That Muslim girl from our school you fancied, Melissa, told the story to us. The story was about a man who lived there, who was grateful when a stone from the church tower crushed his child, who was thrilled when his wife died of tuberculosis - it seemed kind of funny at the time. In all our years our parents and my grandad lived there they never heard about such a man.
Honestly, I only pretended I liked the story because you fancied that girl, so I wouldn't insult her.
It was no wonder we went fearlessly that autumn evening upwards toward "Limp Village". I remember you joked about how the big abandoned stone house in the middle, despite being four stories tall, still couldn't fit my mother into it.
We approached there as the wind breezed through the treetops surrounding the big stony house. There were also smaller houses around, with broken rooftops, which looked like they belonged to servants, if you recall. We slowly proceeded, tired, dismounted from our bikes, to the bench in front of the big stony house.
When we sat on the bench you took a lone cigarette from your trousers and shared it with me like you usually did at the end of our bike rides. It is then that we recalled Melissa's story and figured this place would be worth investigating - it was abandoned after all and no one could see us.
I don't remember how it was decided that I should explore the big house and you should explore the surroundings, usually you were the one that wanted to explore the important stuff, and I never had nothing against that.
This is the first time I'll tell you what happened after we split up.
After we went different ways, I came to the entrance of the big house. Briefly a fearful feeling overcame me for a second. I remembered Melissa's story and the thought of being at the doorstep of the house where that man lived made me afraid, as I was alone now.
I looked to my left and saw you going carelessly between the smaller houses. Reinvigorated by the sight of you going around carelessly, I crouched below the board guarding the door and entered the house.
Inside, it looked just like you would expect an abandoned house in the countryside to look - broken glass all around, stones from the walls laying everywhere, doors busted or gone. I went around the ground level of the house, noticing that at least five-dozens of years passed since someone last lived here. Nothing looked special to me. Then I heard a loud cracking sound. Shock overcame me as the ground below my legs started quaking immensely . I struggled to keep composure. When I unfroze, I ran towards the entrance to the other side of the house. As I was running I heard a loud cry of agony and pain. When I came to the entrance I stopped in shock - I saw you laying on the floor, both of your legs crushed by a giant stone that broke off from the fourth story of the building.
As I looked in horror, my hands trembling, in shock, unable to speak and to move - I heard someone say - "This happens. Or you let me in". Unable to move, as if locked by something, I watched you wiggle on the ground and make eye contact with me.
I watched this horrible sight of someone I care about slowly wane in front of me, and by the second time I heard someone say those nonsensical words in the air I was watching life leaving from your eyes. I recoiled in horror when I heard it for the third time. Just wanting this agony to stop, I yelled out - "I'll let you in!".
The next thing I remember is waking up at my house, in my bed, sweaty. I got up to go have breakfast with my family, proceeding with my day as usual, unsure if this all was a dream. I kept quiet for the most of that morning, and by the time you arrived at my house to go for another bike ride with me, I was none the wiser when it came to that puzzle in my mind. I saw your legs were still intact. It must have been a dream, I thought. I got my bike from the garage and joined you in front of my house
As we slowly continued to ride our bikes in what seemed to be another autumn day, you confronted me - "Hey, what did you see in that house? You said you'll tell me today?". My heart started racing like never before when I heard a faint sound in the air say - "Tell the truth and your friend gets a new bike, lie and you get it".
I looked at you and I noticed you staring at me waiting for my answer.
​
So I lied. That evening, my parents gifted me a new bike. I didn't tell them that I wanted it. As you know when we rode that day your bike broke down.
Whenever he gave me a choice, I picked the choice in which I gained. He made me wealthy, famous, and loved. Other people have lost and I didn't think much of it.
But lately the game has turned. He has no use of me anymore. I dreamed his scheme again this night. This time he said "This happens. Or your family dies." I dreamed about the world ending in eternal hellfire and everyone burning to death that night, with me the only person staying alive.
I'm not going to pick.
I'm going to end this and take him with me.
I am going to end both of us.
I hope that it works.
​
Sincerely,
Your Friend Yoah

I was very happy with how it all worked out. I called 14 days before my flight on a Monday and got an appointment for that Friday at the Buffalo office. I think I was in and out in under an hour. They told me to come back two hours later, and they had my passport all printed and ready to go. They weren't stingy about ink color, cause they gave me a blue pen to write in my state where I had forgotten it (though I would still recommend using black ink!) The people were very kind and efficient. Honestly, 10/10 would do again in ten years.
Personal notes:
I had a baby passport where my name is spelled with the cultural spelling instead of the legal spelling, they had no problem making the change to the legal spelling on my new passport so that I could have consistent documents. No, I have no idea how that was allowed to happen in the first place.
I'm from Mass, but I live in upstate NY for college (about 2.5 hours away from Buffalo) and applied with Mass documents.
I had copies of my documents with me, but they just made copies of all my stuff behind the counter, so that was nice.
Did not need to contact a Congressperson or Senator.
Paid with credit card (via Apple Pay).
Hope this helps some other people with questions about the process, feel free to ask about anything I might have missed!

What the title said. I dreamed, and the current version of myself met a past/non-existant version of me. Currently I'm somewhat okay with myself and how I look, but boy, this version was literally what I wish to be in my... dreams (sorry, pun intended). Although, I didn't know that beforehand. Now I'm obsessed with what I could/could've been! The other me was taller, had a sharper face, better hair, better dressed, clear-clearish skin, literally everything I DON'T have. When I spoke/met this person they were very friendly/shy towards me. Anyone knows what this dream means?
Edit: Setting of the dream was from my past, don't know if that means anything.

Recently added a WiiM Pro to my home setup and loving it except for some issues with the audio in device playback cutting out.
Current system setup is the the WiiM into my old reliable Sony STR-DE595 via stereo RCAs. Streaming music via the WiiM and audio to the receiver sound great with zero issues. Tried Spotify, Apple Music -- all work amazing. I then have an Apple TV direct into the TV for watching stuff, and a Switch also connected to the TV. Both the Apple TV and Switch are connected via HDMI.
The problem I'm having with the device is the audio in features. I have my TV optical out plugged into the SPIDF IN on the WiiM, and with both WiiM's auto sensing on or off on, I still get random audio cutouts from what might be playing on the TV. So far mostly streaming movies / TV from multiple diff sources / platforms on the Apple TV is the only thing I've noticed -- haven't had a chance to try audio with the Switch yet.
Has anyone else experienced similar? I'm not sure exactly what might be triggering this or how to troubleshoot further. I've changed cables around with same result. Unforuntately optical out is the only thing my TV supports so I'm stuck with that, unless I hook up an HDMI audio extractor or something.

I would love to fit in a small table and one or two chairs looking out the window but don't know how to make everything fit. I can rearrange furniture but not really buy much new stuff except for the shelves with Legos. Any suggestions greatly appreciated!

My understanding is Verfasst is more formal than Geschrieben. And v. is more formal than von. I’m just not sure how formal these words are.
If I were to write and article and at the bottom of the article I want make a statement of “my article is not written by AI”, should I say “Verfasst v. Menschen, Nicht v. KI” or “Geschrieben von Menschen, Nicht von KI”?

I am a 30F/ 5’3”, currently 152lbs.
Some context I guess, I followed a 3 month program with an online personal coach back in 2021 and got super lean (130lbs) but it was too much for me to consider it to be part of my life so I stopped counting my macros and exercising, and gained all my weight back within a month or so. Then I ended up gaining an extra 15lbs.
In April 2022 I joined another program with an online personal coach, and this program felt healthier in every aspect. Physically and mentally.
1st program I was eating 100g Carbs / 45g fat / 130g protein exercising 5 days a week (two upper body, two lower body, one glute day).
2nd program - currently. My coach told me my macros were all messed up on my 1st program, and that I was eating too few calories. I was put on a caloric deficit, according to them, and my macros were adjusted to 160g carbs / 55g fat / 126g protein with only exercise 3 days a week (upper, lower, full bod) and walks recommended 2 walks a week as well.
I do feel stronger and notice how I am able to lift more weight. Some days I feel lean, but I can’t see much difference in the way my body looks. I want to loose fat and I don’t see much difference. My body measurements haven’t changed and I haven’t lost any weight since I started almost a year ago. So I’mstarting to feel a bit frustrated. My coach tells me I need to be patient and I’ll see results if I keep following the plan and make it part of my life but it’s been a year following it and I wonder if maybe I should be eating differently or working out more.
If there’s a better sub to post this please lmk.
Edit: typos

Thinking about taking the virtual BSW. Just wondering what the schedule is like and if one can work and raise kids at the same time? How time consuming is it and what is the workload like? I’m full-time right now but not sure if I can do it for another 2 years, as my husband is also a student and we have 2 kids 😅 Looking to hear people’s experience.
Thanks ◡̈

My parents and I have always gotten in arguments, but I feel like I am not the instigator. They insist I am but they have talked to people again and again( professionals ) and they say I am not. Others looking in do not think I am what they make me out to be. All my life I was taught to fear them, they would hit and yell at me. I get that can be normal but most of the reason why they did this was because I was rude. So I’ve tried new things over and over but they never seem to work. I remember cases of them locking me in a room, making fun of me, and other traumatizing things, but they claim it to not be true? Often I feel they have isolated me from the outside world. But to admit I have been angry with them, but is that wrong? I ask for help but they refused to give it to me, until I am very upset then they try to send me away. They have refused to buy me food, our house is actually empty, they refused to help me learn what I am doing wrong, and they have never stood up for me with school. I feel neglected, and I feel like they are manipulative, I feel insane and I question my reality. They often want to send me away, rather than deal with it. To them I am a burden, they’ve made that very clear. I don’t know how to talk to them anymore, and I can’t leave. I have tried, if they want me to leave they call the police ( this has happened multiple times ) and tell them to take me away. They never have but they try their best. I don’t know? Is this all a coincidence or are they actually hurting me? I have heard of what gaslighting can do, I relate to it but is it realistic? Am I a victim or am I the abuser they make me out to be? I genuinely don’t intent to be angry all the time.

I have been messing around with uploading a short on my phone but I can't figure out how to make it use my original audio and a song from the Youtube sound/song selector. It just mutes my original audio and only plays the song I choose. The video I'm using was pre-edited on my computer so I'm not just recording from the YT shorts editor. Is there a way around this? Google hasn't turned up anything useful sadly.

I will be graduating from College this May and am likely to begin working as a trade support analyst at MS in NYC. I'm considering developing a career as a professional commodity trader but I am willing to explore different option. I'm interested in hearing from those who are already working as a professional commodity trader about their experiences and perspectives on this as a career path. Generally speaking, how are the salaries in this industry, and how challenging is it to secure a front-office position? What advice would you give to a recent graduate? Is commodity operations in an IB firm a good start?