This is in the UK btw.
Basically what the title says. I moved a significant distance from my childhood home 2 years ago and thus moved GP’s, and my diabetes care was referred to a local hospital. However, the experience I’ve had with this hospital has been nothing short of awful. I haven’t been seen since May 2021, they very rarely tell me when they’ve made an appointment for me until day of which is impossible to accommodate, they send letters to an address I have never lived at which is about 200 miles away from where I live, and when I am aware of an appointment, they cancel and don’t inform me until I am actually in the clinic. Because I haven’t been seen in so long, they’ve restricted my medication (I have to collect my pods for the Omnipod Dash monthly at the hospital) despite the fact that it is not my fault I haven’t been seen. No amount of complaints have resulted in any change and in all honestly, I’m done with this hospital.
There are a few hospitals further out that have diabetes clinics and I just wanted to know if anyone knows if it’s possible to transfer my care to one of them? And if so, what the process would be? They aren’t technically in the same county as me, and this is literally a last resort for me, but after almost 2 years of arguing with this hospital, I’d really rather not deal with them again.
Thanks!

So this is gonna be long af, but here it goes..
A few things about me for context: I've always had a few good friends, but i'm an introvert and I love spending time alone, and especially love being in the comfort of my home. I used to love cloudy wheather, rainy days, cold. I used to find the thought of death kind of comforting, like an ultimate escape from everything (I was fairly depressed during the entirety of my teenage years).
A few years ago exintential dread hit me out of nowhere in the middle of the night. It was such a feeling of dread that was so incredibly overwhelming and UNBEARABLE. I don't really know how to explain it, I was suddenly terrified of death, and everything in life felt meaningless and artificial, and millions of thoughts were racing trough my head, and I know this sounds stupid but it felt like enlightenment, like I could finally see the bigger picture and understand everything and realised nothing in this world matters really, and I felt so small and helpless and completely inconsolable. I couldn't do anything but cry, and after hours of crying I was finally able to fall asleep with the hope that I would forget about it in the morning, but I didn't. The unbearable feeling was still there. And it stayed there. For MONTHS without stop, I was constantly on the verge of tears and the smallest things could break me down. I spent hours of crying, unable to stop, on a daily basis. I tried my hardest to not fall apart all the time. Only the closest people (my mom and my bf at the time) knew that there was something wrong because they saw me break down in tears for seemingly no reason multiple times, but I couldn't explain to them what was wrong. Nobody else noticed (I think), because as I said, I tried fucking hard to stay as put together as I could. I couldn't eat, felt sick all the time, my head, chest and stomach hurt constantly, I was nauseous, I was miserable. I couldn't stand being at home, or to be alone AT ALL, I hated silence, I hated moody wheather and I was fucking TERRIFIED of death. Basically I couldn't stand anything anymore that used to comfort me before. I constantly sought out opportunities to be out with my friends, I was never as social in my life as during this time. I couldn't enjoy anything anymore, the thoughts haunted me every second, and nothing in the world could bring me peace, or comfort me even in the slightest, it was so fucking horrible. This whole thing went on full blast for at least 3 months and then the nausea and the crying fits slowly started to disappear, but the thoughts and the overwhelming feeling of dread stayed with me for more than a year before it finally started to fade away. Thankfully it was all gone eventually and everything went back to normal, but I have anxiety (for wich I'm on medication now), and seasonal depression, these are things I haven't had before this experience.
My question is, is there a name for this thing? A term that's used in psychology? I'm looking for answers because i'd like to look deeper into it and read about it.

a little background information, my (18m) fiancé (20m) and i met a while ago, but we instantly hit it off. i knew i loved him from very early on, and nothing has changed that. he’s perfect to me, he makes me feel like the luckiest man in the world. for privacy’s sake, i’ll keep the situation vague. my fiancé almost died on his campus’s property, and although he’s never had any behavioral issues on campus, he got expelled. he found out while he was in the hospital recovering. he’s staying in america because he has an i-20 visa, and he was given 15 days to pack up all his belongings from the school and leave the country. however, only a few days in, the school managed to fuck him over once again. we found out yesterday that they were instead giving him 48 hours to pack up and leave. (it’s important to mention that he got discharged from the hospital the day before yesterday.) he’s moving halfway across the world, and his timezone is 11 hours ahead of mine. i’ve been trying to stay strong, in front of him at least, so we can enjoy the time we have left together. i love him more than anything. keeping the most recent events in mind, we very recently got engaged. we both don’t have enough money to afford a wedding, let alone rings, but it’s a promise that as soon as he’s back, we’ll build our life together. i know he’ll be back someday, if he’s accepted to any colleges in the area that’ll grant him an i-20 visa. and as soon as he’s back home, i’m going to give him the proper proposal he deserves. he’s my home, my world. distance could never change that. does anyone have any advice on long-distance, or this situation in general? i’m very anxious, i’m not sure how to properly deal with this. anything is appreciated.

So this has been going on for about month. After we took our 9 year old son off his ADHD meds because he had a very scary health issue suddenly pop up one school day. For a week he was off his meds thankfully that issue did not happen and has not happened since. The only speculation is it probably was caused by a migraine. So when he was off his meds he was angry. He already has a quick temper something we have been working on with him at home about. Off his meds at school was a whole different ball game than like he is at home. He made a poor choice and decided to throw his notebook at his classmate that threw a pencil at him. While he did already pay for that decision at home and at school. If seems he is now labeled as the bad kid. Ever since then he has told me no teacher will listen to him and he keeps getting recess taken away. Also the teachers stop talking to me on pick up about his silly jokes, or something silly he did that day. They go out of their way to avoid me. Which is weird because I have not even said anything else to them since the whole incident. I have also not heard anything from them since he has been back on his meds. I am pissed off that if there is any remote truth to what my child is saying. He likes to tell things how it feels to him than what is actually happening. Especially with waiting. Like if he is super excited about something 1 minute will feel like an hour and this he will say I have been waiting for an hour. Still he has been consistently telling my husband and I about how his recess has been taken away. Because other children have teasing/bullying him and the teachers believe the 3 other children over my child. My whole issue and why I am mad is because I have not heard anything. We have noticed how he is no longer excited about school and it's a push to get him to want to go even get to school on time. Before this incident he loved going to school a bit early to be able to talk to his friends. My plan is to email his teachers. Note: this school has them go to the grade level teacher they are personally at for math and reading. Is there any particular way I should word this my questions about what is happening? I have been trying to get him have a behavior plan from day 1 when he was officially diganosed and they outright refused. I want to ask what is going on so we can come up with a plan together because I fully believe in a united front. To better help him to be the mature and well rounded adult. I also plan on asking about why he says recess is taken away and about the bullying. Sadly it happened a lot last year I fought for him and little was done to fully improve the situation. Because they "never saw it" and "you know how sensitive he can be" While I fully acknowledge that yes our 9 year old is dramatic but should that not be a red flag if he keeps saying the same person or persons are messing with him? I was truly hoping this year would be better at this school. It started out that way. Seriously everything has changed ever since he had a really bad day. Now it's like 2nd grade all over again.

When faced with instability, banks often become more conservative, becoming more selective in issuing loans, raising loan rates, and holding more cash to protect themselves from the worst-case scenario of a bank run.
These stricter loan standards may lead to a credit crunch, making it difficult for consumers and businesses to obtain necessary funding, potentially having a significant impact on the economy. Some predict a looming recession.
However, Jan Hatzius, Chief Economist and Head of Global Investment Research at Goldman Sachs, believes that banks' recent issues and the ongoing credit crunch may actually help the Federal Reserve cool the economy and combat inflation.
In a report released on Tuesday, Hatzius wrote, "Our baseline expectation is that reduced credit availability will prove to be a headwind that helps the Fed keep growth below potential…not a hurricane that pushes the economy into recession and forces the Fed to ease aggressively."
Hatzius is not alone in this view. At a press conference last week, Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell also stated that stricter loan standards could have the same anti-inflationary effect as raising interest rates.
To curb the highest inflation levels in 40 years, Fed officials have raised interest rates at a faster pace over the past year than at any other time in history.
As banks reduce the amount of loans they provide, businesses find it harder to invest in their growth, and consumers find it harder to obtain loans to purchase new homes or cars, ultimately cooling the economy.
However, if loan standards are too strict, similar to the Fed raising interest rates too much, the economy could slow to the point of recession.
Hatzius does not believe that recent banking issues, such as the collapse of Silicon Valley Bank, will cause banks to reduce their lending to that degree. Larger banks will continue to provide loans because they have "higher capital and liquidity standards than smaller banks and are subject to more stringent stress tests" from regulators, which makes them more resilient in times of financial stress.
Hatzius added that it is too early to judge the long-term impact of the banking crisis. Nevertheless, he raised the prediction for the probability of a US economic recession in the next 12 months, stating that it is now at 35%, up from last month's 25%.
First, he warned of the potential for another bank run due to consumer wariness after SVB's collapse. "The most effective way to reduce this risk would be an unlimited deposit guarantee. But that probably requires an act of Congress, which is unlikely to materialize barring a more intense crisis," he said.
Meanwhile, Hatzius argued that the need to pay higher interest rates to attract depositors is a longer-term issue for banks in the age of social media and digital banking, where depositors can quickly move funds by tapping an app.
"This is the first bout of turmoil of the truly digital age, in which residual concern about bank solvency may interact with frustration about low deposit rates," he wrote. "This could put more significant upward pressure on bank funding costs and create greater downside risk to credit availability than our statistical analysis would suggest."
Get the latest market information here.

I have a golden retriever so she has a typical “happy smile face”. Mouth open, tongue out, soft eyes. She’s 9 months old.
During a walk, she will sometimes look up at me with this expression and hold eye contact for 5-10 seconds. I used to treat her occasionally for loose lead walking but I’ve not done this for a few months as she doesn’t pull on the lead anymore. This might happen 1 or 2 times during a walk. Not every walk.
What’s the reason for her doing this? Is she expecting a treat, is she tired and wants me to end the walk or is she just happy?

File - Journal Entry Report - Elias Dexter
Species - Human
Date Stamp - December 2, 3023, Standard Union Time
Location - TAS LockHaven, in deep space
​
The Union accepted our plea for a war declaration. We should have been happy, right? The truth is none of us were happy. Video footage of the Grim’s attack on our expedition spread through the Union media like a wildfire. It was practically impossible not to see it. The Union stated there was going to be a mandatory draft. Something like that didn’t affect us, the Terran Alliance had already met their quota within a week after the draft announcement.
I was already a First Lieutenant in the Terran Alliance’s Army, so any draft already didn’t apply to me. It just meant the most likely scenario was our immediate deployment into no man's land. The Terran Alliance, or TA for short, wasted no time drawing up battle plans. While the rest of the Union drafted and trained their militaries, the Terran Alliance, along with the Luthal Commonwealth were set to launch a coordinated preemptive invasion on the Grim territories. Little is actually known about the Grim, other than the fact that they have the ability to consume us. They have some kind of technology that would allow them to drop us out of FTL in a moment's notice.
But I suppose I should start at the beginning of the battle, I’ll try my best to remember as much as I can. During the briefings we were given we were told we were about to take the planets most likely to be their outer worlds. Planet hopping a few of us even called it. The plan was derived from what the old United States did over a millennia ago in one of their major wars. But what most of us overlooked in the history books was how bloody those battles were.
The first mission would put us on a Grim planet you could say bordered the sol system, it was the closest habitable system to sol inside no mans land. The planet, we would later find out, the Grim called Drug. I'm not sure why the Grim gave one of their planets such a bland name but that was the least of our concerns. Our top priority was to eliminate all military assets on and around the planet. We would conduct orbital bombardment to soften up the anti-air defenses we knew had to be there, then we would drop in all sorts of assets. Tanks, armored vehicles, portable command centers, anything we should need in case of a long, drawn out war.
However, our first mistake was assuming we would make it to Drug easily. I know I mentioned we knew about the FTL disruptors, but the TA must've overlooked that key piece of intel. Hell, we all watched the video of Captain Hugh Adam’s crew. They experienced the FTL disruptors first and even warned us about them. Even the commons soldiers knew that.
I was in the mess hall when it happened, attempting to down what I speculated would be my last good meal for the foreseeable future. My closest friends in the service, Christian Newman, and Julian Smith sat across from me on the other side of the table. When the FTL disruptor hit us, there wasn’t much the Inertial dampeners could do to soften the blow. The table, along with myself, flipped over my two friends. I ended up landing on top of the table, which crushed them both. I rolled over, noticing I spilled some of my dinner on myself.
I quickly helped my friends push the table off of them, both of them rubbing parts of their body that the table must have hit. An alarm started blaring just in time for us to regain our sense of reality.
“That’s the battle sirens,” Julian spits out, “Bastards must have intercepted us, they must really not want us to make it to their planet.”
“Whatever, lets just head to the armory, I’ll fucking kill the bastard who made me spill my potatoes all over my uniform,” I mutter. We jog down to the armory and fit ourselves with our vests, knee guards, helmets, and our weapons of choice. Personally, I prefer a rifle, but Julian has always preferred the shotguns. Whenever we would go to the range to practice our shooting, he always boasted about how he puts bigger dents into the targets, especially at close range.
After I finish grabbing the last magazine of ammo I need, I have to push through a dozen other soldiers who need to grab their gear. I walk back out into the hallway, where Julian and Christian are already waiting for me, and secure my final magazine in my vest.
“All units, prepare for a Grim boarding party, I repeat, prepare for a Grim boarding party!” the loudspeaker shouts to all of us. “Grim forces are docking from airlock 3-C on the starboard side!”
Airlock 3-C? That should be right below us, I think to myself.
“Let's go,” Julian shouts to me and Christian. We follow him to the stairwell, where we can already hear intense gunfire.
“God damn it,” Christian says, “How the hell did they catch us with our pants down this far?”
“Relax,” Julian says, as we fly down the stairs. “Let's just focus on getting out of this alive.”
I open the door to the hallway, when we open it, one of our soldiers flies past us and lands hard on his back. When he landed, the three of us could clearly hear the snapping of some kind of bone in his body. The soldier shrieks out in pain. Christian quickly rushes to the soldier, while me and Julian turn our attention to the direction of the airlock.
There has to be two or three dozen Grim already on our ship, with several more barreling their way in. Several dead Grim soldiers blanket the floor in front of the airlock, their fellow soldiers walking over their bodies as if they couldn’t give a second thought about them.
I rest my rifle on a storage crate and begin to unload my ammo onto the Grim soldiers. I attempt to save several Terran soldiers who have gotten themselves cut off from retreating to us, but there is only so much I could do. I watch as one of the Grim appears to absorb one of our dead comrades. It's as if their skin opens up to allow the human into their body, and their body immediately breaks down everything. I put a bullet into the shoulder of one, missing the headshot that I was aiming for. Reinforcements pick off the remaining Grim soldiers from behind. Roughly two dozen soldiers stand on the other side of the dead Grim boarding party. Julian is the first one to point his shotgun in the storage room.
“Get the hell out here you bald headed piece of shit,” he shouts. The Grim soldier walks out with his hands above his head. Amazingly, the wound on his shoulder has healed.
“I shot you,” I shout, “Why the hell isn’t there a gunshot wound on your shoulder?”
The Grim soldier smiles, “It is the energy I stole from one of your pals, my body converts energy much faster this way, and the more energy I have, the quicker my body heals itself.
Julian shrugs, “Alright, let's test that out real quick,” he lowers his shotgun to the Grim’s knee, I grab the barrel of his gun and point it away.
“Relax, we captured one, we can’t go executing prisoners. Just detain him and help gather up our dead and wounded. Me and Christian will help board their ship. Clearly they underestimated us.”
Julian nods in agreement. Clearly watching our fellow soldiers getting eaten like slaughtered cattle was something that bothered him, hell it clearly bothered all of us. But it was clear he needed to process the situation on his own. I glance over to find the other soldiers had already abandoned us, all but two, who detain the Grim soldier while Julian watches.
“Christian,” I say, getting his attention, “me and you will catch up to our boarding party and back them up in the event they need it.” He gives me a nod and we head for the airlock.
The sheer smell of the Grim ship is overwhelming, we can smell it before we even reach the airlock. I quickly clear the airlock, even though Terran soldiers entered less than five minutes ago, we were taught never to assume an area is cleared unless we were the ones who personally cleared it. The other side of the airlock is dark. Given the Grim’s physical appearance, both their lack of body hair and pale body, I estimate the Grim must prefer dark environments. Me and Christian flip down our night vision goggles and enter the ship.
The hallways were probably three or four times the size of ours. It is clear from out initial observations the Grim must really appreciate personal space. We hear a couple of gunshots echo from the left side of the airlock, so we begin to make our way down towards the sound. We quickly pass few rooms, so far all of them appear to be storage rooms.
After another minute or so walking down the hallway, we catch up to the Terran group, who stand posted up aside from a large steel door.
“God damn it Dexter, we almost shot your ass, don't ever sneak up on us like that again,” Sergeant Morgan Chang states. “Several Grim soldiers are barricaded inside this room, the door is too thick for us to open it. What should we do?”
Since I am technically the highest ranking officer among us, It makes sense they would look to me, even if it did catch me off guard. “Honestly, depending how thick the door is, I say we weld their asses in there. But that probably isn’t the smartest tactical solution. Just use some C4 to blow the door in and we’ll just pick them off.”
The soldiers nod in agreement and begin deploying a large amount of C4 to the door. After they are finished, they hand Sergeant Chang the detonator. “These bitches are about to find out exactly why you dont fuck with us,” She says, then she squeezes the detonator, blowing the door inwards. Five pops from Chang’s soldiers, then silence. Myself and Chang enter the room last, with Christian keeping post outside, to inspect the damage.
Six Grim soldiers dead, which is odd because I only remember hearing five shots. “I thought I only heard five shots?” I ask Sergeant Chang.
“That is my fault,” one of her soldiers says with a smile. I look at the nameplate, which reads Fraizer. “They lined themselves up, so I guess one bullet went through both of their skulls,” he says.
After confirming all six Grim soldiers are dead, we move on. We still don’t know much about the layout of the Grim’s ship, but we ignore our ignorance and continue to make our way down the hallway. After another 100 feet or so, we reach the end of the hallway, only a secured door sits at the end of it. I sit back as Chang’s forces follow the same procedure from before to blow the door open.
This time, me and Christian sit back as they clear whatever is on the other side of that door. “Uh, Lieutenant,” I hear Chang’s voice shout, concerningly, “You might want to come take a look at this.”
I leave Christian behind as I enter the doorway. On the other side however, it appears to be some kind of holding center for prisoners. Blue light emits from the shield that holds its prisoners inside. I lift my goggles up to inspect the holding area. Four out of eight cells are in use, and the prisoners are all of the same species. The prisoners appear to be almost rat-like. They seem smaller than us humans, comparable in size to the Luthal.
“Who are you?” I ask one of the creatures, but get no response.
“I already tried that,” Chang replies, “They must not have neural-transmitters like we do, so we probably won't be able to speak with them, unless you have a portable translator device.”
“No, we don’t, we’ll have to get them back to our ship, I’m sure we have something back there,” I reply. “Free them, make sure you make no threatening gestures, if they struggle, then detain them. Our safety comes first, but just remember they are prisoners to a species that eats other creatures by touching them, so they are probably scared.”
Chang’s soldiers nod in agreement and begin smashing the controls to each cell, releasing the blue shield keeping them locked away in their cells. The frightened creatures follow us out of the holding cell.
“All Terran forces fall back to the LockHaven,” We hear over our radios. That order can only mean one of two things. Either the Grim are retreating, or we are. We secured the alien prisoners with cuffs, which I hated to watch Chang and her soldiers do, and began to head back onto the LockHaven. After securing the airlock, we watched the Grim ship disconnect from ours. Out the airlock’s window we could witness our ship and the Grim’s exchanged plasma fire. After we put a good distance between us and the Grim ship, dozens of missiles rocketed towards the Grim ship. The missiles collided in an explosion, leaving only debris where the ship once stood. I look around the space near us to see we were the last ones to ward off our boarding party. I don’t know if we all succeeded, but it definitely looks like we kept most of our fleet intact.
​
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Hello, everyone. It's me, Dani. :-)
I'm the 42-year-old sibling/anime nerd/writer, who's trying to care for my 57-year-old brother named Rob with a brain tumor and a badly infected leg (due to diabetes, thanks to the brain tumor). Along with my sister, Ace, who is the true rockstar and angel in all of this. And Rob's wife is a SAINT! She's put up with this madness for over a year and deserves all of the flowers possible! =p
So, it's been *checks notes* NINE days since I made my first post here, which started out with me venting about the horrible state of Rob's leg, the difficulty in changing his bandages (and peeling chunks of his skin away in the process, because the infection was THAT BAD!), about me going into a room to silent cry after those changings - before putting on a happy face again and approaching Rob with empathy and compassion again.
And just like the erosion of his leg, so is the state of our sibling relationship - as I've reached the point of screaming, cursing him out, and blocking phone calls altogether from Rob! I'll explain...
So, Ace took him to the best VA hospital in the Twin Cities of Minnesota. Once the medical staff saw the state of his leg, they IMMEDIATELY admitted him and set up a whole team of specialists for him. Two wound-care specialists, a new endocrinologist, a GP (that Rob loved and kept praising a lot), a head nurse named, uh... let's call him Calvin - that took to him as a fellow ex-soldier himself, a psychologist (as he voiced that he was feeling a lot of anxiety and wanted to talk with someone), a social worker, and a group of nurses to tend to his every need and whim.
This dream-team would football huddle together and work quickly with the goal to save Rob's leg from being amputated from the knee, as that was a real possibility on the table. (Keep in mind, this isn't on his Veteran benefits - no, it's on his wife's private insurance). And the treatments were super effective, with every one of his doctors pretty much giving the green light that he'd likely be released from the hospital by Monday. Meaning the Monday that's already passed now...
By Saturday, Rob decided, "My leg is healed enough! I want to go home!" He meant that he wanted to go back to our apartment for my sister and me to resume playing nurse-maid to him. Every doctor was adamant in their professional opinion that it would be unwise for him to leave the hospital in the middle of the treatment that will save his leg! So many times, the phrases "not recommended" or "I wouldn't recommend it" was repeated by every doctor and specialist. They would tell Rob this directly and oftentimes with Ace in the room to witness it.
Somehow, Rob heard, "Something-something... you can go home now if you want to." Every. Single. Time. And when Ace went home from her visit with him, he'd get the doctor to get on his phone, to relay to Ace that he can skip out on his treatment, but the doctor would repeat over the phone, "I don't recommend that your brother signs out of treatment prematurely, in my professional opinion." Then Rob would take the phone back and shout to my sister, as if he was vindicated, "You see? Doctor says I can go home!"
Calvin tried to warn him, "If you leave this hospital, you'll lose the leg for certain!" Rob tried to argue with the head nurse that his leg wasn't that bad, so Calvin stated the truth, "Dude, I can smell the infection, as we speak." I had experienced that smell for two days before he went into the VA... it smells of rotting flesh! No lie or "no cap" as the kids say these days.
Rob got angry and decided that it was all his wife's fault that he was losing his leg. He called her up on the phone, screaming at her, and asking for a divorce, as poor Ace tried to calm him down. His wife's account was, that she gave him his antibiotics - he refused to take them and the infection got worse. And that's an observable truth, as Rob has a habit of not taking his medication when he's at home and it's left up to him to do. And, he's too prideful to let anyone else manage his medications for him.
Either that or too paranoid. I don't really know.
Before Saturday, on Friday, Rob decided that Calvin was at fault and should be fired. He blamed Calvin for "lying" to him about the risk of losing his leg, deciding that it was never that serious at all, and that Calvin was purposely trying to get him to divorce his wife. And then, more bizarre conspiracy theories against the hospital and staff occurred. (see the previous post, if you're curious.)
So, it's been days of nonstop gaslighting and emotional blackmailing from Rob! And... for some crazy reason, he believes I'm the "weakest link" (even though, Ace has openly admitted that she's the weaker of the two of us and has been leaning on me for support to not cave into his mind-games), and his presumption that he's somehow "smarter" than me and that he can easily get his way from me only pisses me off MORE so! :(
And the worse thing is - the leg thing is situated now... It's not great, but they managed to stop the infection. Rob took it upon himself to flood my phone with photos of his bloody mess of a leg, to "prove" to me that his leg is fine. Even though it looks like a shriveled and dead tree limb with huge gaping bloody wounds, that are actively staining the white linens within the photo. Yes, there is no more liquid and pus, just lots of blood flowing now, but... Seriously, any special effect artist would be PROUD to recreate the way his "leg" looks now, for any horror movie!
BUT, on Sunday, his brain tumor swelled up so much that his eye is drooping, because it is pressing on the optical nerve. Rob's vision is impaired by the tumor and the surgeon wishes to schedule him for brain surgery as soon as possible. They're trying to get a spot for him in the OR and everything set up, but... you know, COVID, so the systems are still bogged down, and the soonest they could get it was in a few days from now. He has to STAY for a few more days to get the brain surgery that he most certainly needs.
And he will... because he has no other choice. =p
In my last post, I explained that Ace and I set an ultimatum to him - if he signs out AMA, he'll have to figure out on his own how to get back to our apartment and how he's going to climb the stairs to the second floor alone. Fat chance of him being successful at either - because he's too weak to sit up on his own, let alone stand on two legs without any help, and he's not been in Minnesota long enough to learn how to travel it yet. (FYI, we're far away from the hospital, in a suburban town many miles away! And he doesn't have any money to pay for that kind of cab fare, even if he wanted to!)
Ace and I are doing a little "tough love", refusing to take him out of medical care, which would be actively helping him to die on our sofa if we did. Nope.
His wife is in FULL and EAGER agreement with this too, along with Rob's social worker as well. The social worker will speak to his new GP about getting a psych eval for him (because the doctor that he praised so much before was harassed and driven up a wall so much - he switched rotation to another floor, just so Rob could stop insisting that he speak with Ace on the phone several times a day and say that it's okay for him to leave the hospital with a huge swollen BRAIN TUMOR in his head!!!)
It's okay... I'm taking a breath. LOL.
So... in order to stop getting his gore-fest photos and his constant calls, still trying to convince me that I'm a better nurse to him than, you know, nurses who went through medical training and all. And trying to hit every pain point in me to get me to cave into what he wants, I blocked his number. Leading up to the blocking, I DID blow up at him on Monday and shouted, "No, you listen to me! Your leg is f**king falling apart! I was peeling off your skin, every time I changed the bandages! Why do you think I'd immediately go back to my room, every time? I went to my room to CRY!" Rob paused, but he didn't care at all, he continued to argue that his leg was NEVER that bad and now that the infection was gone, he should come home... ignoring the swelling BRAIN TUMOR!!!!
I had enough and erupted with, "You're not going to manipulate me, you mother****er!!!" I don't use that swear, usually, as it was my mother's favorite swear. Perhaps, I was channeling a bit of her short temper, at that moment.
Then Rob tried to argue that I can't see very well (trying to use my eye condition against me - I am visually impaired with Keratoconus, yet in my constant blurred vision, I could see his skin sloughing off his wounds anyway. And so did my sister, who isn't visually impaired... nor were his doctors who were shocked and stunned at the state of his leg too, and poor Calvin the head nurse too), that I was seeing his leg "wrong" and "imagining things"... and that's when I hung up and blocked him.
For the past two days... of blissful peace! XD
I went about my day and life as usual while checking in on my sister, from time to time, who was still taking his calls and being driven up a wall.
And the phone block on Rob should have remained...
Tonight, he used the nurse's desk phone to contact me and leave a message on my voicemail. Before he went into the hospital, I had happily presented him with a "house-warming gift". You see, I suffer from PTSD and night terrors (will not get too much into that, just mentioning it for clarity's sake), and my sister bought me a tank with osculating jellyfish in it, to help me sleep better at night. It's a lot pretty, and calming, and it does help me out a lot.
When Rob came to visit us the first time (in far better health than he is currently in and not at all the asshole that we know him to be as now - I know, I know... it's the tumor.), he saw it and thought it was the coolest thing ever. So, I asked my sister to send the link to where she bought the tank, so I that could buy one for Rob when he came back to live with us/seek medical treatment in Minnesota. (That was THE PLAN, after all, that Rob would move in with us for a while and seek medical care here in Minnesota, as he said that our state had better doctors here than in Maryland.)
So tonight, Rob decided to leave me a message, saying that he was sorry and that if he was to go back to Maryland - would it be okay if he took along the jellyfish gift with him? No matter how much of an asshole someone is to me, a gift is a gift. I don't take back gifts, NOT EVER. That's not my style at all. And so, I took him off the phone block to text him just that. Word-for-word.
He wrote back - his words jumbled and misspelled heavily, because of his vision impairments, that was along the lines of "I know that you hate me now." And I replied back, "I don't hate you. I'm just not willing to put up with emotional blackmail bullshit." So then he called me and I kind of KNEW it was a bad mistake to answer, but I did answer...
Immediately, he tried to convince me that he can come home now because there was a "scheduling error" and the doctors said that he can leave for two days and come back for the brain surgery this weekend! This began a shouting match between him and me! LOL! Ace had talked to the doctors and social worker YESTERDAY, who said no such thing. And they keep stressing, if Rob leaves now, it will take at least three whole weeks before he would be able to get in brain surgery. Because, COVID, things are stressed and short-staffed in every hospital.
He will not last that long. He will either die of starvation (as he's not eating meals - and that's not anything new. Ace and I noticed that for a while now, before he went to the hospital, and had asked his wife about it too. She confirmed that Rob wasn't eating much in Maryland either. It may be time for a feeding tube to be introduced soon), or the pressure of the tumor may cause him to have a fatal stroke or other grizzly brain horrors and he'll die on our sofa.
I said to him (and please excuse my swears), "Stop being such a bitch-baby and stay for the surgery!" And he grumbled, "Stop calling me a bitch-baby..." And I literally punched the air, because I was so pissed off, and I snarled, "Okay, I will when you STOP acting like one!!!" Then I realized that I was screaming my head off past midnight, caught myself, and said, "You know what? Ace is in the next room, trying to get some sleep, so she can work in the morning... I'm NOT doing this with you, Rob!"
Then he asked, "B-but... do you still love me, as your brother?" I answered, "Yes, I love you, Rob... even though you're f**king nuts right now!" And he sulked, "I'm not f**king nuts..." Then he said, "Okay, I'll let you and your sister rest tonight then." And... he's back on phone block. I don't think I'll unblock him until AFTER his brain surgery. =p
Fool me once...
Anyway, sorry for this crazy long post! I did try to edit it down, but... so much has happened in the last... *checks notes again* OMG! TWO DAYS, since I last posted here. Seesh! :(
I'll update - AFTER Rob has gone through surgery and is situated. I just needed to vent and blow off some steam... at, currently, 4:30 AM in the morning. I'm hoping that this long af post was at least a little entertaining and provided a few chuckles, at the very least. ;-)
Be excellent to each other. And peace out!

Hi everyone!
(Please excuse any grammar- and / or spelling mistakes, english is not my first language)
I think that my (39F) work friend (24F) is in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend. When she talks about her home life it's clear to me that he's disrespectful and controling. He has tried to hit her at least once but my friends mom stopped him.
I want to tell her to get the h*ll out of that relationship but I know that that won't work. How to I respectfully let her know that I'm worried about her safety?
Thank you in advance!

From this Forbes article:
Invasion of Ixalan
1G
Battle - Siege
Rare
When Invasion of Ixalan enters the battlefield, look at the top five cards of your library. You may reveal a permanent card from among them and put it into your hand. Put the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.
4 defense
(Backside not spoiled yet, but the front tag shows 4/3)
----------
So this is practically a two-mana Ancient Stirrings for us with a decent chance for some upside, depending on the abilities the flipped creature has. Since it specifies permanents, a single copy in-hand can chain through multiple copies to go deep for something we need, something even Stirrings can't do. Plus hey, it can grab Thragtusk and similar if they ever come back in style! As a slight bonus, it can also reduce Emrakul TPE's mana cost if it hits the yard. Walking Ballista can also directly ping battles, so there's that.
On the other hand, it's not often we're attacking into someone when we're not already winning, though again, it might be worth it if the flip creature has a clutch ability. It only misses Stirrings, Scrying, and also cards like Warping Wail and All is Dust. And of course, there's the pressing question of what to cut to make room for them, if anything at all.
All of that said, this card has real potential for G Tron. There's a decent chance that this ends up playable, and likely in multiples. Since it's rare, I'm not waiting to pick up a playset, especially since this is the kind of card that Commander players will come to love as well.

TL;DR Surgery went well, no more major pain, have a good caregiver
Had DI w/o nipple grafts yesterday morning, with Dr. Curtis Crane of the Crane Center in Austin. Pain started at a 10 but once I got a good medicine schedule going, it’s been more manageable. I’ve only taken 2 opioids since surgery, offsetting with oral CBD and high strength Tylenol. Started a stool softenegentle laxative about 6 hours after surgery but have yet to have a BM; I will probably take another once 12 hours have passed.
My only “issue” thus far is that I’m a bigger guy and I can tell my compression binder is slipping down, and I’m afraid to undo it to fix it so soon after surgery. I’ve been gently pulling it up but it’s a short term fix and I’ve already emailed the office so I will wait a few hours before I get a response.
Otherwise, I’ve been feeling pretty good. Went for a 15 minute walk with my wife around our hotel courtyard, the cool night air felt amazing. I ate a light meal of soup and some chips, and I’ve been snacking on some salty snacks too. I’m getting sleep in 3-4 hour increments which is actually pretty usual for me so my body is used to it. We got lucky with our hotel room bc it has a recliner so I’ve been able to sleep semi reclined. Also, having someone who can be patient with you as your caregiver makes the world of a difference. I know not everyone will be as lucky as I with such an amazing wife, but at least someone who can be patient with you. I get cranky when I’m in pain (who doesn’t) and sometimes take it out on her but she loves me and knows I don’t mean it. She is on top of my med schedule, even wakes me up if I’m sleeping cause she knows that if I pass the time I can take it, I will wake up in pain.

Every couple of months my gf is away for two weeks for school/job purposes. Over there she has an entirely different friend group that I basically don't know (Gf has struggled making friends in the past so I'm happy for every friend she makes). One of those friends is a lesbian girl "S" (who is currently in a relationship). My gf and I have been a little more clingy and touchy than usual lately, so when she went away for the week we were both a little sad (idk how to call it). A couple of days in, my girlfriend told me that she and S shared a bed that night (another friend of hers was also in the room) and cuddled a little throughout the night.
Which is all in all not super concerning imo. We've been together for little over 4 years and I trust my gf in pretty much every way.
Anyway they shared a bed for I think the remainder of the week and went on walks in which they concluded that they may want a little more than a normal friendship. Now that they're back home, gf and S kept texting and got more and more horny (with each other but also in general).
She now asked me if it'd be okay if the continued, and eventually meet up and actually sleep with each other instead of fantasizing, or if I want them to stop.
(Couple weeks ago out of curiosity I asked my gf about her current sexual attraction towards other women, to which she replied that couldn't imagine sleeping with another women/that she'd find it weird)
A quick turn of events. I personally don't know if I want them to continue/stop, hence I'm asking on this sub.
It doesn't feel right to hold my gf back in something she wants.. but at the same time I'm honestly not perfectly comfortable letting her do this kind of stuff. (I think a part of this is, that I personally don't know S.. like at all.. and it'd also be weird to get to know her, just for this sake.)
She tells me she's perfectly happy with our sex life and sees it as a kind of addition to what we're already doing..
I am leaning towards letting them procede but as I said in not perfectly comfortable (yet) since something like this is completely new for me.
I think it would help if you guys shared your experiences or any advice on being more comfortable with my situation.
TL;DR: gf is getting closer and closer to a lesbian friend of hers, eventually wanting to sleep with each other and I don't know how to feel about this.

So I have started to use YT music after being with Spotify for years...tbh I don't think I am going to stay using it.
Things that are missing/annoy me
Importing playlists is limited to 10 a day
When Importing playlists, it shows how many songs weren't available for import, for me this was only 1 or 2 tracks across so far 30 playlists and 1000s of song, I was ok with this until I started to play my playlists... like 50% of songs, are random edits, live or extended versions, non vocal, remixes, feats, covers, foreign releases it's ludicrous how often it's happening. A prime Example of this, I imported the track "All the things she said by Tatu". Instead of YT Music saying we don't have that song it added the song "All the Things she said (Made Popular by Tatu)" ... a load of funky gibbon teens singing some messed up version of the track. Next time just don't do it.
Lack of official Alexa Skill app. I used Google and AA in my car, but at home I have an Alexa home. All other popular music streaming apps have skills... apart from YT.
No support for playing on external devices other than the odd google cast. One good thing about Spotify, was options to say where to play, I can pick Alexa, Sonos, Onyko amps, TVs, PCs, not in YT, if it doesn't support google/chrome case you are out of luck.
No proper app for the PC/phone with intuitive offline mode.
Playlist management feels limited, no folders and shuffle multiple playlists, no view changes
No track options such as fade
No Equalizers options
No Social element.
​
For me it doesn't feel like a music service, its a video service without the video.

I fucked up. Big time. So, someone I trust at work found out about the SH and has been a huge support for me, which I love. My marriage has been falling apart and I have been having more and more suicidal ideation these last few months, so yesterday he and I decided to hang out after work today and talk, since he has had a lot of experience with all of this. My wife is unaware of the SH, and so when I told her I would be home late today and she asked who I was hanging out with, I panicked and said it was a group so she would look less into it (hardly wanted to say I wanted to talk to a friend about our marriage, which would have been the safest option). Well, i meant to leave around 9, get home at 10, but I utterly and completely lost track of time and didn't hear my phone ringing in the kitchen. So naturally, my wife called in the cavalry and started contacting a bunch of my co-workers. Who then all got up in a panic that I had rode my motorcycle into a ditch somewhere. Finally around midnight I realised the time and went to check my phone and realised what all had been happening. My wife is beyond pissed, my coworkers (particularly the ones caught up in my shoddy alibi) confused and concerned and I have this sinking feeling that I am going to have to come clean about the SH and suicidal ideation. I feel sick to my stomach. I know I'm the biggest asshole here,but I have no idea where to go from here. I was hoping to bring up the SH in couple's counseling, where the situation could be monitored and somewhat controlled....

My best friend got cheated on. She is the most kind and beautiful person on the entire planet. For four years she supported him. For four years he “had trouble finding a job” and sat at home, spending her money on fancy clothes and in-app purchases. She won the bread and he did the dishes every so often for brownie points. She loved him so much and gave him everything. He wore a mask and basked in it. He cheated on her with a rando in the back of a warehouse. He got a job, worked there for a week, fucked a person, then came up with a whole story about how he got fired for the millionth time over something stupid because “tHe wOrLd iS oUt tO gEt MeEEE.” He would have never owned up to it if it weren’t for the fact that the husband of the woman he fucked was dedicated to making sure my friend knew what had happened. Bless that guy. My friend and her now ex are currently cohabitating while he builds up enough funds to leave (she’s a better person than I because I would have relinquished him to the streets). And he CANNOT stop playing victim. “I have lost everything.” No dude, you forfeited it. “You’re just not the same person anymore.” Hmm, wonder why?? “You’re probably just going to move on to the next guy, aren’t you?” DUDE SHE WAS MORE THAN LOYAL FOR ALMOST HALF A DECADE. The literal last thing she’s doing right now is “the next guy.” She’s devastated. Her entire life is upturned, and he has the gall to throw himself a pity party? He chose this. And lied about it for months until lying became impossible. I doubt he would have ever come clean if it weren’t for husband guy taking initiative. In fact, I know he wouldn’t have. Other lies have come out since, and he’s only admitted to the ones that have direct evidence. As though anyone would really believe that the only times he’s ever lied we’re the times he just so happened to get caught. And even still the truth had to be pried out of him. Why are people this way? How could he? I genuinely don’t understand how anyone could do this, especially this guy. He doesn’t have charisma, or kindness, or money, or looks. But she saw something in him. He rolled a nat 20 at disadvantage and gave it all up for a hole in a warehouse. Now he has nothing, and she has a broken wing. Every part of me feels out for blood. I of course wont do anything out of line but if life were a movie I 100% would. I really just don’t understand how he could throw something like that away for something so pointless. If anyone out there can educate me on the matter I’d love to hear it. Maybe any sort of answer could bring peace.

it was friday and i had nothing to do so i went around town to try to find anything to entertain myself. until i had found in the community hall type of buildinga flyer on their baord that stated "fire watch needed from ages 16 to 50+ at (anonymous forest for privacy)" i took a little card with the number on them and hurried home to tell my parents about it. they were extatic for me because the pay was also alot judging the amount of days i had to work. the first day of work i was told to meet at a little house where they would give me a "tutorial". i was also told that if i recieved calls from hikers that talked about a "goat man" to just igonre it because there was always a group of teenagers trying to start rumours, but if a hiker calls and says hes lost i have to turn on the set of head lights to lead the hiker torwards me, but if he was in serious trouble i could find a page in the manual about how to deal with the ciertan situation. i couldnt have the headlights on for too because of budget problems. as soon as i made it to the tower i was met with a big plastic box with M R E type of food. now that i got that out of the way let me start with the story, they let me have my phone for obvious reasons so i had access to what time it was at all times, most of the time i just stayed in the bed they prepared with my phone on low volume so if i hear anything the sound of the cellphone wouldnt bother the sound of a phone call because the station phone that was used for long distance and had a low ringtone. as soon as the time was 00:00 my parents called me on my cellphone, they sounded very excited and we talked for about 30 minutes before hanging up, as soon as i hung up a shiver went down my spine as i heared the akwardness of the silence i was greeted with. i was gonna think about taking a nap on the bed but as soon as i did.. the phone rang, i answered at 01:23 to a very distressed man as is sounded like he was in a hurry, he told me:"yes hello!? i think im being chased by a bear!" i said "tell me your location and maybe i can direct you torwards me" he said with a more distressed tone now "theres alot of rocks around the trail and uh-" i interupted the man to tell him to lower his tone and calm down "right yeah sorry, uuh theres rocks around the trail and i think i see a climbing wall" i looked at the map and saw the man was rather close to my tower so i turned on the headlights that were directed at the direction of him and asked him if he saw them, he said" yeah i see them but thats the direction the bear was from.. it was like he was trying to lead me from the tower". i flipped the manual and and found the answer i told the man:"ok sir there should be a small gun in the lodge where you get the climbing gear, can you see the lodge" the man with a slightly more happy tone" oh yeah! thanks" he found the gun and made his way as quietly as he could to the tower, but suddenly.. the head lights went out, i heared him say "oh fuuuck" and out of no where i heared him on the call running for his life "ITS NOT A BEAR ITS NOT A BEAR HELP" after he said that i heard two gunshots from the outside of the tower, i told the man" hello sir!? are you there!?" then i heard a loud staticy sound from the phone before it hung up.i knew it was after me next so i ran with the heaviest thing i could find to block the stairway and bairricated the door, i sat in the corner of the room with a rifle and ammunition that was prepared for me. i sat there for 5 whole minutes until i heared scratching on the bottom of tower, for the record this tower was made from thin rusty bars so it was pretty easy to hear if anything was scratching at the bottom of the tower i stayed ther until daytime. i quit immediatley and swore to never go there again.

TL;DR: I'm seeing vastly different upload speeds between speedtest.net and other sites. It seems much of this can be attributed to a large number of failures/retries, which are somehow not captured on SpeedTest.

The issue

I have the 1200/35 Mbps package, and a Motorola MC6811 DOCSIS 3.1 cable modem.
Through SpeedTest.net I see download speeds anywhere from 200 to 1350 Mpbs depending on time of day, and upload speeds stay fairly consistent at 35-40 Mbps.
If I try any other speed test, including speedofmy.net, upload speeds drop to anywhere between 10-20 Mbps.
I also have my own Virtual Private Server (VPS), hosted on atlantic.net. Running iperf3 to/from my VPS I see similar results to these latter ones, but also the upload tests shows a large number of retries. Here is one random example:

$ iperf3 -c my.vps.host Connecting to host my.vps.host, port 5201 [ 5] local 2601:644:x:x:x:x:x:x port 43534 connected to 2607:f170:x:x::x port 5201 [ ID] Interval Transfer Bitrate Retr Cwnd [ 5] 0.00-1.00 sec 2.73 MBytes 22.9 Mbits/sec 15 34.9 KBytes [ 5] 1.00-2.00 sec 1.53 MBytes 12.9 Mbits/sec 9 20.9 KBytes [ 5] 2.00-3.00 sec 1.04 MBytes 8.74 Mbits/sec 5 23.7 KBytes [ 5] 3.00-4.00 sec 1004 KBytes 8.23 Mbits/sec 6 26.5 KBytes [ 5] 4.00-5.00 sec 1004 KBytes 8.23 Mbits/sec 6 33.5 KBytes [ 5] 5.00-6.00 sec 1.47 MBytes 12.3 Mbits/sec 4 27.9 KBytes [ 5] 6.00-7.00 sec 1.23 MBytes 10.3 Mbits/sec 3 41.8 KBytes [ 5] 7.00-8.00 sec 1.72 MBytes 14.4 Mbits/sec 3 50.2 KBytes [ 5] 8.00-9.00 sec 1.72 MBytes 14.4 Mbits/sec 6 39.0 KBytes [ 5] 9.00-10.00 sec 1.47 MBytes 12.3 Mbits/sec 3 47.4 KBytes - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [ ID] Interval Transfer Bitrate Retr [ 5] 0.00-10.00 sec 14.9 MBytes 12.5 Mbits/sec 60 sender [ 5] 0.00-10.03 sec 14.4 MBytes 12.0 Mbits/sec receiver iperf Done. 

Compared with AT&T IPBB/DSL

I also have a 2nd Internet connection through AT&T DSL, rated at 75/20 Mbps. Through this connection, all of speedtest.net, speedofmy.net, and my own iperf3 tests give results fairly consistent with the nominal speed. Again, here is a random upload test to that same server:

$ iperf3 -c my.vps.host Connecting to host my.vps.host, port 5201 [ 5] local 2600:1700:x:x:x:x:x:x port 39374 connected to 2607:f170:x:x::x port 5201 [ ID] Interval Transfer Bitrate Retr Cwnd [ 5] 0.00-1.00 sec 2.94 MBytes 24.6 Mbits/sec 1 181 KBytes [ 5] 1.00-2.00 sec 2.39 MBytes 20.0 Mbits/sec 0 191 KBytes [ 5] 2.00-3.00 sec 2.57 MBytes 21.6 Mbits/sec 0 201 KBytes [ 5] 3.00-4.00 sec 2.27 MBytes 19.0 Mbits/sec 3 146 KBytes [ 5] 4.00-5.00 sec 2.14 MBytes 18.0 Mbits/sec 0 177 KBytes [ 5] 5.00-6.00 sec 2.57 MBytes 21.6 Mbits/sec 0 197 KBytes [ 5] 6.00-7.00 sec 2.14 MBytes 18.0 Mbits/sec 0 205 KBytes [ 5] 7.00-8.00 sec 2.57 MBytes 21.6 Mbits/sec 0 208 KBytes [ 5] 8.00-9.00 sec 2.14 MBytes 18.0 Mbits/sec 0 208 KBytes [ 5] 9.00-10.00 sec 2.57 MBytes 21.6 Mbits/sec 0 208 KBytes - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - [ ID] Interval Transfer Bitrate Retr [ 5] 0.00-10.00 sec 24.3 MBytes 20.4 Mbits/sec 4 sender [ 5] 0.00-10.09 sec 23.5 MBytes 19.5 Mbits/sec receiver iperf Done. 

As you can see the number of retries is much lower, and (maybe as a result?) the upload speeds are much more consistent.
In fact, despite the lower speed rating, AT&T DSL turns out to be more suitable for working from home / remote videoconferencing for this very reason. I had observed over the last couple of years (but not really dug into this) that with Comcast other participants report more stuttering/low quality video than when I'm on AT&T.

Controlling for variables

I've eliminated the following potential culprits:

• WiFi signals. The above tests were done from my Linux serverouter, connected directly via Ethernet to both my DSL gateway and my cable modem.
• Modem performance. I restarted my cable modem in order to perform the above test.

Has anyone else observed similar results? Any ideas about potential causes?

About a month ago, I got diagnosed with CPTSD. It relates to domestic violence (DV) and leg injuries.
Note now - this post is not about DV. Back in 2018, I suffered a bad injury to my left ankle and couldn’t walk for six months. It was a really difficult time and it affected me in ways I didn’t understand till now.
Last week, I unfortunately rolled my right ankle. At first, they said it was a sprain. Today, I found out it’s a torn ligament that requires surgery and weeks off my leg. I’m upset. I’ve taken the news pretty bad. I thought I was doing ok but the thought of this is difficult.
I remember how hard 2018 was. I can’t relive it. I can’t relive it on my other leg too. I’m upset.
I’m going to speak to my psychologist but was wondering if anyone has advice on keeping spirits high? Thanks 🫶🏼

I had a pretty toxic relationship as a teenager with a grown man who was a narcissist. Although I no longer blame myself and am trying to avoid understanding his predatory behavior, I’m realizing how much this experience hurt my conception of love. Even at that time I had a pretty skewed definition since I had an extremely abusive home life. I also struggled with low self esteem and was bullied very aggressively. I thought love had to be a constant obsession and required huge displays of love. I was also just a kid so my view on love was very limited and immature. It’s no wonder that the love bombing worked. I was still such a kid. Everything made a lasting impression. Unfortunately I often still get carried away with crushes and settle for guys who are more into love bombing than being genuine. I end up falling into obsessing about them since my narc always demanded complete attention. Even though what my narc did was wrong and inexcusable I feel like I’m breaking through by accepting I have to work on myself and these bad habits. I feel so close to escaping the absolute confusion and pain this experience has brought me.