Houses rent wyoming mn
I lived with "friends" for the past year and they were nightmare roommates
2023.06.09 10:41 Euphoric-Step-2059 I lived with "friends" for the past year and they were nightmare roommates
Throwaway in case they use Reddit. Long post too, but messier the more you read.
I (26 f) been trying to move forward now that my year in a nightmare living situation has come to an end but I'm still so resentful, so maybe this will help. After living with my parents during the pandemic, in 2022 I reached out to an old college roommate and we decided me, her, and her boyfriend would find a place. They didn't seem to care where, and I love the city. I warned them it was more expensive but they didn't protest.
Firstly, I did EVERYTHING to secure us the place. The boyfriend, let's call him Chris (M 27) was in the GM and never even answered once. While skimming listings I once asked my old roommate, let's call her Maggie (F 26), to send me 3 listings, and I'd have 3, for a total of 6 places to set up tours for. They were on the opposite coast so it was agreed I'd do the tours. Two of the three listings she sent were ones I'd already sent her. She clearly just looked up the first results and didn't even bother to look at what I'd found.
So after touring, emailing, giving my future roomies step-by-step instructions how to apply, getting my dad to co-sign, and reviewing/revising the lease a couple times (they tried to tack on extra fees as most building management companies do) I started setting up job interviews in the area for move-in the following month. I never once got a thank you, only ever "update?" texts from Maggie, or the occasional complaint when I wasn't working fast enough for them. It's not like I wanted validation or to even make all the decisions, I literally had to because they contributed nothing. I would have much rather taken some help over gratitude, but got neither. When I expressed stress that I was doing a lot, she told me she promised she and her man were 5x more stressed because they didn't have jobs lined up like me. As if job websites don't have location searches and Zoom interviews don't exist.
So we moved in. My parents fronted their portions of rent and the deposit for three weeks, and I was upset when I pushed Maggie about it and she told me her dad had her money but she had just been "too depressed" to call and ask him to wire it. Her words. They seemed to assume that my parents had money to spare, which they didn't, even for their own kid.
I started my job, and I was really struggling with alcohol. The city didn't help because there were quite literally over 100 liquor stores and bars less than half a mile from our building. They drank a lot too, but that's not my business. We kind of drowned in our misery together for about 6 weeks, during which time I lost my job for drinking and got another, but then started experiencing sleep-deprivation psychosis where I just completely broke down, so I decided to check myself into rehab for 30 days.
Two weeks prior that, Maggie came home with a puppy in her purse. A guy sold it to her for $50 at her job and she kept it in the break room till she was off. She'd told me several times before that she liked to go to work buzzed, so I assume that played a part.
I already had a cat who wasn't dog-friendly that I paid an extra deposit to be in the apartment, and they both agreed to have him there (they knew him from the college house). So even wasted, I told her absolutely not about this dog. She didn't ask me or Chris before bringing it home, and the two of them were constantly complaining to me about money and how we split the place evenly even though they shared a much larger room, and rent was still really reasonable for the area we were in ($900 each). Not to mention they didn't even read the lease, so they really had no grounds to complain they'd signed documents agreeing to pay an amount they claimed not to be able to afford. A dog on top of that, I pointed out, made no sense. The city is dirty, it would need shots to stay alive and we lived on a high floor with no balcony or patio for it to relieve itself. Pets also cost money.
Maggie agreed the dog was a bad idea and swore up and down she'd return it because she had the owner's number. A few days before I decided to go to rehab they went out all day and left the puppy locked in their tiny bathroom where it howled the entire time on my only day off, and I freaked out on them but they just gaslit me because I was drunk. I felt terrible leaving it in there, but I didn't ask to take on another animal. Ultimately, they were supportive of my choice to get help and even asked me to please come back instead of subletting and told me how much they'd miss me.
Well, while I was gone, things changed. A week before I came back, I texted Chris and Maggie to let them know the date of my return, and that I'd be bringing a sober companion because the first 72 hours out of rehab are notoriously difficult. Maggie texted back (never Chris, like I said) that they needed me to stay with my parents a few cities over for a while instead, because they weren't comfortable with me or a sober friend coming back so soon. Mind you, I paid rent the month I was gone. So I informed her that wasn't going to happen, and I'd be home the date I said above. She replied "sorry, that's just how we feel." As if they got the final say.
I came back when I said I would, brought my sober companion like I said I would, and Maggie lost her mind. My sober buddy and I watched a movie in my room, minding our business, but she heard a second voice and started texting me about how uncool it was to bring a stranger back. I told her she was welcome to meet them, but she refused.
I did't see either of their faces for two weeks after getting home. Chris was still unemployed and stayed home all day, but locked himself in their room 24/7. The first time I saw him, he'd thought I was Maggie locked out (they lost one of their key sets upon move-in and didn't want to purchase a second set, so this happened a lot) and once he realized it was me he practically ran back to their room. I said "hi" and he just said "I though you were Maggie" and slammed the door.
I don't know if they were resentful toward me for getting sober - maybe it was making them face their own problems - but one reason they hid from me was without question the dog. They avoided discussing it at all while I was in rehab, but I could hear it barking the moment I came home. The house reeked of dog urine. They'd taken my pee pads I sometimes put on the furniture when I think my cat might act up, and just pretended it wasn't there. Never paid me back for those either.
It was pretty soon after this Maggie came home with two men. She'd met them at her job, they told her she'd be good for their company, so she quit on the spot and invited them over to drink to celebrate. She actually opened my bedroom door without realizing I was home to "show them my movie poster" on my wall and explained the situation to me. So much for feeling unsafe having strangers in the house. I cringe to think about how it would've went if I wasn't home. It's worth noting that when she sent in her app to those guys' company, their boss didn't like her resume, so she was unemployed for the next 8 months.
Not long after rehab I began dating my current partner, let's call him Stan (M 28). He was great company because we met in recovery, and it can be lonely to be sober when all your friends partake.
Stan was over a lot, and pretty soon into the relationship we got eager to move in together. I asked Maggie about it (asking Maggie was like asking both of them, Chris never wanted to interact with me after I got sober) and she had nothing but good things to say, because that meant rent would be split four ways now. Stan and I didn't protest an even split, even though my room was barely enough space for one person and we learned pretty quickly how to climb around each other to function day-to-day.
I didn't have a sense of boundaries or standards before sobriety, but Stan encouraged me to strengthen that sense of self I'd previously forfeited to be drunk 24/7 and it made me start to realize some things about the household dynamic. Stan cooked for us a lot, and even before he moved in he was always cleaning Maggie and Chris's dishes along with his. He pointed out that they'd leave things, sloshy with sink water and food bits, for weeks in the sink. He also bought some nice things to cook with like expensive olive oil, and soda water for himself, which Maggie would either take and not say anything, or text me after already taking it promising to pay us back. Never once saw a penny. It upset me even moreso that she was so sneaky about taking it first, so we couldn't say no.
There was even a time when Stan and I went out of town for a wedding, and when we came back Maggie handed us a clean towel of ours. She explained they were out of towels while we were gone, so they went into our bathroom and took one of ours off the rack....I didn't say so until I blew up months later, but that was actually a towel used for clean up....that kind of clean up. Karma worked quick on that one, who goes into someone's private bathroom and takes their towel off the rack to use on themselves?!
I mentioned the common area was hardly used, but the exception was when Maggie and Chris's friends or family visited. It happened probably four or five times in the year we were there. Each time Maggie would give me about a day's warning before the guests would show up. Once, when her dad flew in, she informed me about his week-long stay as he was in his Uber headed to our place from the airport. Even worse, he was meant to take their bed, and they were going to sleep on an air mattress in the living room with the dog that barked at anything that moved. Stan gets up super early for work, and Chris got all grumpy that it woke him up as Stan left because the dog flipped out. Like sorry, should he have used our 15 story window to leave?
Funny enough, after the first night in their room Maggie's dad insisted he take the living room. It was pretty obvious to me he couldn't stand the smell in their room. They continued to use pee pads instead of taking the dog to the street to "go," and it often missed onto the carpet of their room. The smell wafted into the kitchen every time they opened their door, I can't imagine what being in there with the door shut all night would do to a person's nostrils.
It all came to a boiling point about 6 months in. Stan wasn't doing well with the constant stress of cleaning up after others and resentment that came with it. We decided the best course of action was for him to move out, which was confirmed by Maggie confronting us on a Tuesday afternoon, drunk as a skunk, about how the fridge smelled because our leftovers went bad. We went through the entire fridge, and threw out over half of their items that were months expired. They complained about money nonstop but wouldn't get jobs and switched to Doordashing every single day. There was molding cheese, and the kicker: deli meat 2 months past its expiration date, not only with several colors of mold but MAGGOTS. Now we understood why there were dead gnats in the fridge. They were born in there.
When we informed them of Stan's move-out, Maggie said that was fine with her as long as her and Chris's rent remained $650. They actually expected me to pay half the rent for a smaller room, where the kitchen was festering from their mess and the stuff I bought was taken by them with no reimbursement. That, or get a fourth stranger to share my room with me, which barely fit my full-size bed. Furious, I told them I'd be moving out as well, and subletting. They told me I needed to find two people, so I pulled *that* move and said since my dad was the co-signer and unwilling to vouch his credit for a lease his daughter wasn't a part of, we'd dissolve the lease entirely.
This somewhat scared them into moving, and they alleged a move-out date that came and went. Stan and I crossed our fingers they'd leave, we could take the bigger room, and sublet out our old one. We had no problem with rent split three ways, as that was the lease agreement anyway.
In the meantime, the one request I had out of rehab they'd agreed to went out the window. I was never going to ask them not to drink in their own place, but I simply asked that they keep it to their room and out of sight from Stan and me. They stayed in there most of the time anyway, and had a mini fridge. I'm pretty sure she drank every day in there, which again wasn't my business but it became obvious when she did stuff like leave the electric stovetop on for hours.
She had friends over again, and they not only filled up the living room with luggage and mattresses with just a few hours heads up to me, but drank out there while I was in my room. The house smelled like booze (and dog urine, always dog urine...) and they even had some full cans in the fridge when they went out. I texted her angrily, because the box of White Claws was shoved in so that my own food was squashed in the back of the fridge, and she blew me off like I had no right to ruin her night. I spent till sunrise on AA zoom meetings, shaking with anger. The texts must have made her angry too, because she brought back additional strangers to drink some more in the living room till dawn.
There were tons of incidents like this throughout the year, and even worse Maggie took it upon herself to try to mediate arguments in my relationship. She'd overhear and come out drunk to try to step in. She once confronted me about "not seeming sober" when I had over 4 months. I told her she had no place to comment even if I had relapsed, and she told me to "make sure I'm going to meetings." I so very much wanted to snap back that she should find some of her own.
This went on a whole year. Stan left, but when he did so and came back to visit the first time, Maggie cornered him and demanded he pay rent for that month. He was already moved into another place, and paying rent there. She yelled at him that she and Chris don't have money, Stan just told her that's not his responsibility to foot the bill for their laziness. Even so, he compromised and still paid utilities till our lease ended.
Up till the last couple days, they still disrespected me and my space. They'd let their dog eat my cat's food almost daily, sometimes more. They'd watch it urinate on the floor, and maybe if I was standing right there to see it, they'd wipe it down with a pee pad, no disinfectant. Once I did it myself and left the rag and cleaner on the floor by the puddle to make a point. The next day I found the rag on the sink; she confirmed she took it off the floor to wipe down our kitchen counters. Even if she didn't know what it was used for, who uses a dirty rag on the floor to wipe where they put food?
I let them know a few days before move-out that I would be cleaning certain common areas -- half, when it realistically should have been a third -- and that the rest was their responsibility. I also told them the couch was theirs to take down. We didn't have one for a long time, but when Stan was living with us Maggie found one freshly put on the street and texted us. Stan and I met her down there to carry it up, and she just watched us do it and made comments about "getting in our workout for the day." She didn't even help propping open doors.
On move-out, I had work in the afternoon in the next city over. I'd already packed all my stuff into boxes, they had one sitting in the living room. Not my business as long as they were out on time. They were up and moving on the last day, scrambling to pack, when I informed them my parents were coming to transport my stuff and help with my part of the cleaning since I had to be at my new job on time. They immediately holed up in their room, and stayed there for FIVE HOURS, not wanting to interact with my parents. They were the ones we paid rent to, and of course they'd heard my grievances, but they were always friendly and reasonable to Maggie and Chris as long as they sent rent on time. I have no idea what time they ended up leaving, since they stayed deadly silent too, according to my mom who stayed to clean after I went to work.
A week later, we got our bill from the building. Our whole deposit was eaten up, and an additional $460 was owed for the building to hire cleaners. My mom helped me, and we did more than our share, but clearly my roommates still didn't pull their weight.
I think they moved back with Chris's parents, I don't really care. If they did, I feel sorry for everyone involved in that situation. They have no decency or consideration, and mooch as much as they can for as little effort as possible. And on top of all that, still complain. As for me, I miraculously stayed sober, and Stan and I live together in the city where we both work.
I guess I can count on time to show them how awful they were, because we're getting older and not many people will put up with that moving forward. I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone, and don't intend to ever live with roommates ever again because of what they put me through. Stan, my cat, maybe a dog we acquire responsibly in the future, and some kids someday. That'll be acceptable.
submitted by Euphoric-Step-2059 to offmychest [link] [comments]
I (26 f) been trying to move forward now that my year in a nightmare living situation has come to an end but I'm still so resentful, so maybe this will help. After living with my parents during the pandemic, in 2022 I reached out to an old college roommate and we decided me, her, and her boyfriend would find a place. They didn't seem to care where, and I love the city. I warned them it was more expensive but they didn't protest.
Firstly, I did EVERYTHING to secure us the place. The boyfriend, let's call him Chris (M 27) was in the GM and never even answered once. While skimming listings I once asked my old roommate, let's call her Maggie (F 26), to send me 3 listings, and I'd have 3, for a total of 6 places to set up tours for. They were on the opposite coast so it was agreed I'd do the tours. Two of the three listings she sent were ones I'd already sent her. She clearly just looked up the first results and didn't even bother to look at what I'd found.
So after touring, emailing, giving my future roomies step-by-step instructions how to apply, getting my dad to co-sign, and reviewing/revising the lease a couple times (they tried to tack on extra fees as most building management companies do) I started setting up job interviews in the area for move-in the following month. I never once got a thank you, only ever "update?" texts from Maggie, or the occasional complaint when I wasn't working fast enough for them. It's not like I wanted validation or to even make all the decisions, I literally had to because they contributed nothing. I would have much rather taken some help over gratitude, but got neither. When I expressed stress that I was doing a lot, she told me she promised she and her man were 5x more stressed because they didn't have jobs lined up like me. As if job websites don't have location searches and Zoom interviews don't exist.
So we moved in. My parents fronted their portions of rent and the deposit for three weeks, and I was upset when I pushed Maggie about it and she told me her dad had her money but she had just been "too depressed" to call and ask him to wire it. Her words. They seemed to assume that my parents had money to spare, which they didn't, even for their own kid.
I started my job, and I was really struggling with alcohol. The city didn't help because there were quite literally over 100 liquor stores and bars less than half a mile from our building. They drank a lot too, but that's not my business. We kind of drowned in our misery together for about 6 weeks, during which time I lost my job for drinking and got another, but then started experiencing sleep-deprivation psychosis where I just completely broke down, so I decided to check myself into rehab for 30 days.
Two weeks prior that, Maggie came home with a puppy in her purse. A guy sold it to her for $50 at her job and she kept it in the break room till she was off. She'd told me several times before that she liked to go to work buzzed, so I assume that played a part.
I already had a cat who wasn't dog-friendly that I paid an extra deposit to be in the apartment, and they both agreed to have him there (they knew him from the college house). So even wasted, I told her absolutely not about this dog. She didn't ask me or Chris before bringing it home, and the two of them were constantly complaining to me about money and how we split the place evenly even though they shared a much larger room, and rent was still really reasonable for the area we were in ($900 each). Not to mention they didn't even read the lease, so they really had no grounds to complain they'd signed documents agreeing to pay an amount they claimed not to be able to afford. A dog on top of that, I pointed out, made no sense. The city is dirty, it would need shots to stay alive and we lived on a high floor with no balcony or patio for it to relieve itself. Pets also cost money.
Maggie agreed the dog was a bad idea and swore up and down she'd return it because she had the owner's number. A few days before I decided to go to rehab they went out all day and left the puppy locked in their tiny bathroom where it howled the entire time on my only day off, and I freaked out on them but they just gaslit me because I was drunk. I felt terrible leaving it in there, but I didn't ask to take on another animal. Ultimately, they were supportive of my choice to get help and even asked me to please come back instead of subletting and told me how much they'd miss me.
Well, while I was gone, things changed. A week before I came back, I texted Chris and Maggie to let them know the date of my return, and that I'd be bringing a sober companion because the first 72 hours out of rehab are notoriously difficult. Maggie texted back (never Chris, like I said) that they needed me to stay with my parents a few cities over for a while instead, because they weren't comfortable with me or a sober friend coming back so soon. Mind you, I paid rent the month I was gone. So I informed her that wasn't going to happen, and I'd be home the date I said above. She replied "sorry, that's just how we feel." As if they got the final say.
I came back when I said I would, brought my sober companion like I said I would, and Maggie lost her mind. My sober buddy and I watched a movie in my room, minding our business, but she heard a second voice and started texting me about how uncool it was to bring a stranger back. I told her she was welcome to meet them, but she refused.
I did't see either of their faces for two weeks after getting home. Chris was still unemployed and stayed home all day, but locked himself in their room 24/7. The first time I saw him, he'd thought I was Maggie locked out (they lost one of their key sets upon move-in and didn't want to purchase a second set, so this happened a lot) and once he realized it was me he practically ran back to their room. I said "hi" and he just said "I though you were Maggie" and slammed the door.
I don't know if they were resentful toward me for getting sober - maybe it was making them face their own problems - but one reason they hid from me was without question the dog. They avoided discussing it at all while I was in rehab, but I could hear it barking the moment I came home. The house reeked of dog urine. They'd taken my pee pads I sometimes put on the furniture when I think my cat might act up, and just pretended it wasn't there. Never paid me back for those either.
It was pretty soon after this Maggie came home with two men. She'd met them at her job, they told her she'd be good for their company, so she quit on the spot and invited them over to drink to celebrate. She actually opened my bedroom door without realizing I was home to "show them my movie poster" on my wall and explained the situation to me. So much for feeling unsafe having strangers in the house. I cringe to think about how it would've went if I wasn't home. It's worth noting that when she sent in her app to those guys' company, their boss didn't like her resume, so she was unemployed for the next 8 months.
Not long after rehab I began dating my current partner, let's call him Stan (M 28). He was great company because we met in recovery, and it can be lonely to be sober when all your friends partake.
Stan was over a lot, and pretty soon into the relationship we got eager to move in together. I asked Maggie about it (asking Maggie was like asking both of them, Chris never wanted to interact with me after I got sober) and she had nothing but good things to say, because that meant rent would be split four ways now. Stan and I didn't protest an even split, even though my room was barely enough space for one person and we learned pretty quickly how to climb around each other to function day-to-day.
I didn't have a sense of boundaries or standards before sobriety, but Stan encouraged me to strengthen that sense of self I'd previously forfeited to be drunk 24/7 and it made me start to realize some things about the household dynamic. Stan cooked for us a lot, and even before he moved in he was always cleaning Maggie and Chris's dishes along with his. He pointed out that they'd leave things, sloshy with sink water and food bits, for weeks in the sink. He also bought some nice things to cook with like expensive olive oil, and soda water for himself, which Maggie would either take and not say anything, or text me after already taking it promising to pay us back. Never once saw a penny. It upset me even moreso that she was so sneaky about taking it first, so we couldn't say no.
There was even a time when Stan and I went out of town for a wedding, and when we came back Maggie handed us a clean towel of ours. She explained they were out of towels while we were gone, so they went into our bathroom and took one of ours off the rack....I didn't say so until I blew up months later, but that was actually a towel used for clean up....that kind of clean up. Karma worked quick on that one, who goes into someone's private bathroom and takes their towel off the rack to use on themselves?!
I mentioned the common area was hardly used, but the exception was when Maggie and Chris's friends or family visited. It happened probably four or five times in the year we were there. Each time Maggie would give me about a day's warning before the guests would show up. Once, when her dad flew in, she informed me about his week-long stay as he was in his Uber headed to our place from the airport. Even worse, he was meant to take their bed, and they were going to sleep on an air mattress in the living room with the dog that barked at anything that moved. Stan gets up super early for work, and Chris got all grumpy that it woke him up as Stan left because the dog flipped out. Like sorry, should he have used our 15 story window to leave?
Funny enough, after the first night in their room Maggie's dad insisted he take the living room. It was pretty obvious to me he couldn't stand the smell in their room. They continued to use pee pads instead of taking the dog to the street to "go," and it often missed onto the carpet of their room. The smell wafted into the kitchen every time they opened their door, I can't imagine what being in there with the door shut all night would do to a person's nostrils.
It all came to a boiling point about 6 months in. Stan wasn't doing well with the constant stress of cleaning up after others and resentment that came with it. We decided the best course of action was for him to move out, which was confirmed by Maggie confronting us on a Tuesday afternoon, drunk as a skunk, about how the fridge smelled because our leftovers went bad. We went through the entire fridge, and threw out over half of their items that were months expired. They complained about money nonstop but wouldn't get jobs and switched to Doordashing every single day. There was molding cheese, and the kicker: deli meat 2 months past its expiration date, not only with several colors of mold but MAGGOTS. Now we understood why there were dead gnats in the fridge. They were born in there.
When we informed them of Stan's move-out, Maggie said that was fine with her as long as her and Chris's rent remained $650. They actually expected me to pay half the rent for a smaller room, where the kitchen was festering from their mess and the stuff I bought was taken by them with no reimbursement. That, or get a fourth stranger to share my room with me, which barely fit my full-size bed. Furious, I told them I'd be moving out as well, and subletting. They told me I needed to find two people, so I pulled *that* move and said since my dad was the co-signer and unwilling to vouch his credit for a lease his daughter wasn't a part of, we'd dissolve the lease entirely.
This somewhat scared them into moving, and they alleged a move-out date that came and went. Stan and I crossed our fingers they'd leave, we could take the bigger room, and sublet out our old one. We had no problem with rent split three ways, as that was the lease agreement anyway.
In the meantime, the one request I had out of rehab they'd agreed to went out the window. I was never going to ask them not to drink in their own place, but I simply asked that they keep it to their room and out of sight from Stan and me. They stayed in there most of the time anyway, and had a mini fridge. I'm pretty sure she drank every day in there, which again wasn't my business but it became obvious when she did stuff like leave the electric stovetop on for hours.
She had friends over again, and they not only filled up the living room with luggage and mattresses with just a few hours heads up to me, but drank out there while I was in my room. The house smelled like booze (and dog urine, always dog urine...) and they even had some full cans in the fridge when they went out. I texted her angrily, because the box of White Claws was shoved in so that my own food was squashed in the back of the fridge, and she blew me off like I had no right to ruin her night. I spent till sunrise on AA zoom meetings, shaking with anger. The texts must have made her angry too, because she brought back additional strangers to drink some more in the living room till dawn.
There were tons of incidents like this throughout the year, and even worse Maggie took it upon herself to try to mediate arguments in my relationship. She'd overhear and come out drunk to try to step in. She once confronted me about "not seeming sober" when I had over 4 months. I told her she had no place to comment even if I had relapsed, and she told me to "make sure I'm going to meetings." I so very much wanted to snap back that she should find some of her own.
This went on a whole year. Stan left, but when he did so and came back to visit the first time, Maggie cornered him and demanded he pay rent for that month. He was already moved into another place, and paying rent there. She yelled at him that she and Chris don't have money, Stan just told her that's not his responsibility to foot the bill for their laziness. Even so, he compromised and still paid utilities till our lease ended.
Up till the last couple days, they still disrespected me and my space. They'd let their dog eat my cat's food almost daily, sometimes more. They'd watch it urinate on the floor, and maybe if I was standing right there to see it, they'd wipe it down with a pee pad, no disinfectant. Once I did it myself and left the rag and cleaner on the floor by the puddle to make a point. The next day I found the rag on the sink; she confirmed she took it off the floor to wipe down our kitchen counters. Even if she didn't know what it was used for, who uses a dirty rag on the floor to wipe where they put food?
I let them know a few days before move-out that I would be cleaning certain common areas -- half, when it realistically should have been a third -- and that the rest was their responsibility. I also told them the couch was theirs to take down. We didn't have one for a long time, but when Stan was living with us Maggie found one freshly put on the street and texted us. Stan and I met her down there to carry it up, and she just watched us do it and made comments about "getting in our workout for the day." She didn't even help propping open doors.
On move-out, I had work in the afternoon in the next city over. I'd already packed all my stuff into boxes, they had one sitting in the living room. Not my business as long as they were out on time. They were up and moving on the last day, scrambling to pack, when I informed them my parents were coming to transport my stuff and help with my part of the cleaning since I had to be at my new job on time. They immediately holed up in their room, and stayed there for FIVE HOURS, not wanting to interact with my parents. They were the ones we paid rent to, and of course they'd heard my grievances, but they were always friendly and reasonable to Maggie and Chris as long as they sent rent on time. I have no idea what time they ended up leaving, since they stayed deadly silent too, according to my mom who stayed to clean after I went to work.
A week later, we got our bill from the building. Our whole deposit was eaten up, and an additional $460 was owed for the building to hire cleaners. My mom helped me, and we did more than our share, but clearly my roommates still didn't pull their weight.
I think they moved back with Chris's parents, I don't really care. If they did, I feel sorry for everyone involved in that situation. They have no decency or consideration, and mooch as much as they can for as little effort as possible. And on top of all that, still complain. As for me, I miraculously stayed sober, and Stan and I live together in the city where we both work.
I guess I can count on time to show them how awful they were, because we're getting older and not many people will put up with that moving forward. I wouldn't wish that experience on anyone, and don't intend to ever live with roommates ever again because of what they put me through. Stan, my cat, maybe a dog we acquire responsibly in the future, and some kids someday. That'll be acceptable.
2023.06.09 10:40 IceQueasy2377 WIBTA for abandoning my roommates and getting my own apartment?
I (19f) am considering abandoning my soon-to-be roommates in order to get my own apartment. A couple months ago my friend (19f) and her boyfriend (20m) and I made plans to move in together. However, my friend insisted we get a 3 bedroom house or townhouse and have an extra room for friends or family to stay over (she and her bf want to share a room). Her bf and I tried showing her nice affordable 2 bed Places but she would turn all of them down. After about a month of this I confronted her about it and told her if there wasn't going to be a 4th person living with us there was no need to spend the extra money for a quest room when we could just get a pull out couch or air mattress. In the 3 months we have been looking for places they have called and/or toured exactly Zero places while I have been to several despite working 2 jobs, one of Witch is a full time overnight position. After expressing my frustration to another good friend of mine, he talked to his parents and they agreed to offer me a room to at their 2 bed 2 bath rental house that my friend and his boyfriend are moving into when it becomes free in 6 months. My friend said he and his boyfriend would be more than happy to be roommates with me, his parents are very sweet and understanding of my situation and are only charging $600 a month for rent and utilities. Eventually I found a very nice and more than affordable apartment complex. They confirmed that they had submitted their applications and paid the nessecery fees. I checked a few days later to make sure we had gotten each other's information correct only for them to tell me that they hadn't actually submitted their applications. After I told my current roommates that I was only comfortable signing a 6 month lease with them because my other friend offered me a room, they got angry and said they wouldn't be able to afford to live on their own without me and they would have to move back in with their parents once the lease is up. This was extremely frustrating for me as I offered to speak to a friend of mine who is a manager at a retail store to see if they could help my friend get a job at their work as It pays a couple dollars more than what my friend makes now, but she turned me down saying she would only want to work there as a last resort dispite her not being able to find a new job after a year of searching. I recently found a very nice 1 bedroom apartment that I would more than be able to afford and I am seriously considering renting there rather than with them. I dont want to abandon my friend, and I don't mean to sound rude or cold, but with my family situation I can't afford to keep waiting for them to get their act together.
WIBTA for renting this apartment and leaving them to find their own place even though they cant afford too?
submitted by IceQueasy2377 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
WIBTA for renting this apartment and leaving them to find their own place even though they cant afford too?
2023.06.09 10:27 Greenmind76 Visiting the US with my fiancé soon to be wife from Costa Rica?
My fiancé and I plan to get married. We currently live together in a house we’re renting in Alajuela. My parents are unable/unwilling to travel and older. I want her to meet them and my other family, around Christmas time. I just don’t see her being able to get a tourist visa as there’s not much tying her here other than her family and a love for her country we both share.
In the long run I’d like to be able to travel with her to the US once or twice a year but since neither of us want to ever live in the US a green card or immigration visa isn’t possible (I don’t think).
Any thoughts?
submitted by Greenmind76 to immigration [link] [comments]
In the long run I’d like to be able to travel with her to the US once or twice a year but since neither of us want to ever live in the US a green card or immigration visa isn’t possible (I don’t think).
Any thoughts?
2023.06.09 10:22 Illustrious-Can-6845 How do people survive summer here??
This is probably just a very stupid question, but I'm just so frustrated already :(
Summer hasn't even started and my apartment is already so hot. I don't wear almost any clothes, only a t-shirt to have meetings (remote work), and without being in front of a fan it's so uncomfortable already (the whole past week). During the day I guess it's not that bad, but at night... I just can't sleep.
I'm from a much warmer country, in summer it gets easily over 30 degrees, and in hot waves can get over 40, even 45. Which is horrible, but you don't suffer the hot at home. I've been here in Berlin last summer too, and it was awful. This year I was trying to have a better mindset, reminding winter is so much worse and summer has so many things to enjoy. But is not even summer and I have already slept so badly due to the temperature that I think it's just going to be the same as last year. And also since I work remotely I spend most of my time at home, sadly.
So I'm just wondering how everyone else does it, I don't see that much people complaining really. Maybe my apartment just sucks and gets hotter than most?
What bothers me the most is not being able to sleep, bc of course it really affects my mood and my job. I don't see shops selling AC's for homes, and I've never seen one in an apartment or a house. Also of course I'm renting, so I don't think that'd be a possibility.
Is there something I could do about it?? Or my only options is just holding on with just a fan? Also my apartment ceiling is so low I can't even install a ceiling fan :'(
submitted by Illustrious-Can-6845 to berlinsocialclub [link] [comments]
Summer hasn't even started and my apartment is already so hot. I don't wear almost any clothes, only a t-shirt to have meetings (remote work), and without being in front of a fan it's so uncomfortable already (the whole past week). During the day I guess it's not that bad, but at night... I just can't sleep.
I'm from a much warmer country, in summer it gets easily over 30 degrees, and in hot waves can get over 40, even 45. Which is horrible, but you don't suffer the hot at home. I've been here in Berlin last summer too, and it was awful. This year I was trying to have a better mindset, reminding winter is so much worse and summer has so many things to enjoy. But is not even summer and I have already slept so badly due to the temperature that I think it's just going to be the same as last year. And also since I work remotely I spend most of my time at home, sadly.
So I'm just wondering how everyone else does it, I don't see that much people complaining really. Maybe my apartment just sucks and gets hotter than most?
What bothers me the most is not being able to sleep, bc of course it really affects my mood and my job. I don't see shops selling AC's for homes, and I've never seen one in an apartment or a house. Also of course I'm renting, so I don't think that'd be a possibility.
Is there something I could do about it?? Or my only options is just holding on with just a fan? Also my apartment ceiling is so low I can't even install a ceiling fan :'(
2023.06.09 10:18 throwaway12309889032 Potential Divorce - Wife Renting
Hi, Using a throwaway account. Also, I understand I need to speak with a solicitor however can't until the week after next for various reasons, hence just wanting a bit of information if possible.
My wife has out of the blue announced she wants to split. We have no children but have a house which is nearly paid off. We both earn broadly similar salaries and have broadly similar individual savings. We've not started the divorce procedure yet but are effectively "separated" but living under the same roof. We're in England.
Her plan is to move into a rented property in the near future whilst we go through proceedings. However as we're both named on the current mortgage she will obviously need to continue her contribution to that (I'll be living in the house).
The thing I'm concerned about is that she's looking at rental in a reasonably expensive area, and there's no way she can afford it whilst paying her share of the mortgage here. Which means until we're settled, she'll be paying it out of her savings. Let's say that is costing her £1000 a month, if the divorce takes say 6-8 months to go through, she's going to have effectively been spending 6-8k of her savings on that - and as we have similar levels of savings now, she'd potentially be entitled to half the difference of mine, i.e. 3-4k? She's also talking about going on holiday too with friends, which again will be from savings.
I know there are rules about trying to "hide" money in these situations to avoid a fair split, but are there any rules about just spending the money on non-tangible stuff like this? I am not looking to screw her over but similarly don't want that to be done to me.
submitted by throwaway12309889032 to LegalAdviceUK [link] [comments]
My wife has out of the blue announced she wants to split. We have no children but have a house which is nearly paid off. We both earn broadly similar salaries and have broadly similar individual savings. We've not started the divorce procedure yet but are effectively "separated" but living under the same roof. We're in England.
Her plan is to move into a rented property in the near future whilst we go through proceedings. However as we're both named on the current mortgage she will obviously need to continue her contribution to that (I'll be living in the house).
The thing I'm concerned about is that she's looking at rental in a reasonably expensive area, and there's no way she can afford it whilst paying her share of the mortgage here. Which means until we're settled, she'll be paying it out of her savings. Let's say that is costing her £1000 a month, if the divorce takes say 6-8 months to go through, she's going to have effectively been spending 6-8k of her savings on that - and as we have similar levels of savings now, she'd potentially be entitled to half the difference of mine, i.e. 3-4k? She's also talking about going on holiday too with friends, which again will be from savings.
I know there are rules about trying to "hide" money in these situations to avoid a fair split, but are there any rules about just spending the money on non-tangible stuff like this? I am not looking to screw her over but similarly don't want that to be done to me.
2023.06.09 10:10 RetailSlave5408 Another thing to criticize about RENT
So I know Lindsay very BRIEFLY touched upon this in the rent essay where she mentions the amount of 2005 vehicles seen in the setting of 80s NYC but RENT’s costumes in no way represent what a bunch of bohemians would wear in the late 80s
The costumes in the Rent movie and the stage show (from the recorded stage performance featured in Lindsay’s essay) all just scream Y2K. In the film and show Mark sports a blue v neck sweater with a red stripe going across the chest. This sporty motif of a different color strip on a v neck was all over men’s casual pullovers and sweatshirts in the late 90s and even into the mid 2000s (Reese on Malcolm in the middle can be seen wearing these)
When Maureen does her performance art in the musical, she is wearing a hippy two tone blouse in which one colorful print makes up the torso of the shirt and the sleeves are a separate colorful pattern makes up the sleeves. You would see something like this on Lizzie Maguire. In Scary Movie Anna Farris wears a similar blouse with maps of world countries on it.
In the movie during the art performance Maureen dons black leather pants and a sleeveless distressed dark brown baby t shirt with a graphic or glitter on it like she walked off the set of a Christina Aguilera music video. By 2003 that look was basically over but this is 2005 we are talking about.
I’ve seen similar costumes worn by actors in more recent local productions of Rent (via posters and promotional stills) and I’ve come to realize that most if not all productions or adaptions must be honoring the costumes of the original which went out of their way to look nothing like the 80s.
The sweater mark wears looks like it could have been bought at The Gap, Maureen’s hippy blouse at a mid level chain store at any mall, and her polished punk pop Star look in the film would come from a luxury boutique in Manhattan or Melrose Avenue in 2000. Since Mark and Maureen are supposed to be starving artists, they probably couldn’t afford these stores and would in part rationalize their inability to afford those clothes as “selling out and looking like a clone” they more likely would have dated wardrobes that were purchased from thrift stores. That is if they are truly bohemian, but almost 40 years later thrift stores are a lot more popular.
Often when period pieces are made, even the most faithful to accuracy have a modern sensibility when it comes to period clothing. Often the silhouettes and cuts of clothing are closer to contemporaneous standards, but the patterns or colors may be evocative of the period. Makeup and hair are seldom ever period accurate either. I’ve yet to see anyone replicate the big hair of the 70s, 80s and 90s and that’s because it looks goofy and tacky and unglamorous and turn off to the audience. Most people also don’t grow their hair out that long anymore so it’s also a logistical thing.
Rent however makes zero attempt to even suggest the period it’s set in in the 80s. I feel like it would have been cheaper to get used clothes from the 80s from a costume house or vintage stores during the mid 90s then to get them in contemporary clothing. I feel like they needed to make the story glamorous to appeal to Y2K audiences, which just further shows how unironic and misleading RENT is about the time and place it wants to portray.
submitted by RetailSlave5408 to LindsayEllis [link] [comments]
The costumes in the Rent movie and the stage show (from the recorded stage performance featured in Lindsay’s essay) all just scream Y2K. In the film and show Mark sports a blue v neck sweater with a red stripe going across the chest. This sporty motif of a different color strip on a v neck was all over men’s casual pullovers and sweatshirts in the late 90s and even into the mid 2000s (Reese on Malcolm in the middle can be seen wearing these)
When Maureen does her performance art in the musical, she is wearing a hippy two tone blouse in which one colorful print makes up the torso of the shirt and the sleeves are a separate colorful pattern makes up the sleeves. You would see something like this on Lizzie Maguire. In Scary Movie Anna Farris wears a similar blouse with maps of world countries on it.
In the movie during the art performance Maureen dons black leather pants and a sleeveless distressed dark brown baby t shirt with a graphic or glitter on it like she walked off the set of a Christina Aguilera music video. By 2003 that look was basically over but this is 2005 we are talking about.
I’ve seen similar costumes worn by actors in more recent local productions of Rent (via posters and promotional stills) and I’ve come to realize that most if not all productions or adaptions must be honoring the costumes of the original which went out of their way to look nothing like the 80s.
The sweater mark wears looks like it could have been bought at The Gap, Maureen’s hippy blouse at a mid level chain store at any mall, and her polished punk pop Star look in the film would come from a luxury boutique in Manhattan or Melrose Avenue in 2000. Since Mark and Maureen are supposed to be starving artists, they probably couldn’t afford these stores and would in part rationalize their inability to afford those clothes as “selling out and looking like a clone” they more likely would have dated wardrobes that were purchased from thrift stores. That is if they are truly bohemian, but almost 40 years later thrift stores are a lot more popular.
Often when period pieces are made, even the most faithful to accuracy have a modern sensibility when it comes to period clothing. Often the silhouettes and cuts of clothing are closer to contemporaneous standards, but the patterns or colors may be evocative of the period. Makeup and hair are seldom ever period accurate either. I’ve yet to see anyone replicate the big hair of the 70s, 80s and 90s and that’s because it looks goofy and tacky and unglamorous and turn off to the audience. Most people also don’t grow their hair out that long anymore so it’s also a logistical thing.
Rent however makes zero attempt to even suggest the period it’s set in in the 80s. I feel like it would have been cheaper to get used clothes from the 80s from a costume house or vintage stores during the mid 90s then to get them in contemporary clothing. I feel like they needed to make the story glamorous to appeal to Y2K audiences, which just further shows how unironic and misleading RENT is about the time and place it wants to portray.
2023.06.09 09:50 Fantastic_Map1155 Spousal rights when house is owned by a trust?
I don't want this to be too identifying so I'll keep the description of events vague.
Several years ago my partner's family 'helped us' buy a home. The scenario is a little weird, but we were moving internationally for my partner's career, and without consulting (or even pre-warning) me my partner's family announced that they'd put a down payment on a house for us to live in, in the new country.
I was uncomfortable with the situation as we'd not discussed the issue at all and I wasn't sure if we could even afford the mortgage, but it was awkward because the house was framed like a gift to us, and my partner was relieved to have a home sorted in our new country. The house was directly represented to us as 'our' house, and so I also understood what a privilege it was to be able to contribute to our own mortgage rather than pay rent.
But problems began almost right away. It took me a few months to find a job in the new country and my partner was very stressed paying the bills. When I found a job, he asked that I provide him with my full income each fortnight to cover my contributions to the mortgage and bills. As my pay rose amidst promotions over the years, so did the sum he asked for. Eventually when my salary rose to be equal to his, I persuaded him to 'let' me keep a portion of my income in a separate savings account. Otherwise, he has insisted that he be responsible for paying the bills, which he does out of his personal account that I transfer money to.
Recently my partner is looking to move again for his career, and we are weighing the options of what to do with our home. Amidst this, it has come out that 'our' house is actually purchased and owned by my partner's family trust. I'm honestly flabbergasted. Over the past several years I've contributed over $300,000 to what I believed were mortgage payments and home renovations. My partner has now revealed they view that money as rent.
This has obviously caused a huge problem in the relationship. I'm not happy about being in my 30s and having no assets to my name, and I also feel like I've been douped into a rental situation which has significantly limited my prospects to build up any assets of my own. I've naturally relayed these concerns to my partner, but he refuses to engage with me on this and is really just feeding me non committal answers until I drop it. I just want to know what the legality of all of this is?
I've never signed a rental agreement, so I'm not sure if I can just be declared a renter? I don't even know how I want to proceed, but my biggest worry is that if either one of us decided to bail on the relationship I'll be completely fked over financially.
submitted by Fantastic_Map1155 to legaladvice [link] [comments]
Several years ago my partner's family 'helped us' buy a home. The scenario is a little weird, but we were moving internationally for my partner's career, and without consulting (or even pre-warning) me my partner's family announced that they'd put a down payment on a house for us to live in, in the new country.
I was uncomfortable with the situation as we'd not discussed the issue at all and I wasn't sure if we could even afford the mortgage, but it was awkward because the house was framed like a gift to us, and my partner was relieved to have a home sorted in our new country. The house was directly represented to us as 'our' house, and so I also understood what a privilege it was to be able to contribute to our own mortgage rather than pay rent.
But problems began almost right away. It took me a few months to find a job in the new country and my partner was very stressed paying the bills. When I found a job, he asked that I provide him with my full income each fortnight to cover my contributions to the mortgage and bills. As my pay rose amidst promotions over the years, so did the sum he asked for. Eventually when my salary rose to be equal to his, I persuaded him to 'let' me keep a portion of my income in a separate savings account. Otherwise, he has insisted that he be responsible for paying the bills, which he does out of his personal account that I transfer money to.
Recently my partner is looking to move again for his career, and we are weighing the options of what to do with our home. Amidst this, it has come out that 'our' house is actually purchased and owned by my partner's family trust. I'm honestly flabbergasted. Over the past several years I've contributed over $300,000 to what I believed were mortgage payments and home renovations. My partner has now revealed they view that money as rent.
This has obviously caused a huge problem in the relationship. I'm not happy about being in my 30s and having no assets to my name, and I also feel like I've been douped into a rental situation which has significantly limited my prospects to build up any assets of my own. I've naturally relayed these concerns to my partner, but he refuses to engage with me on this and is really just feeding me non committal answers until I drop it. I just want to know what the legality of all of this is?
I've never signed a rental agreement, so I'm not sure if I can just be declared a renter? I don't even know how I want to proceed, but my biggest worry is that if either one of us decided to bail on the relationship I'll be completely fked over financially.
2023.06.09 09:42 unfinishedmango Narcissistic and bipolar Mother
Hello!
My boyfriend has a narcissistic and bipolar mother. We have been dating for almost 3 years and when I lived with them, it was a nightmare. After living with his family for only a couple of months, it was clear that she played favourites and manipulated everybody to get her way through guilt and shame.
For context, she is divorced, and her daughter and her son (my boyfriend) live with her. She kindly opened her home to me when I was having family issues, however, that turned into a quick transaction for her. I paid rent, but there was an emotional transaction. Near the end of my stay at their house, she started to blame me for all of their family issues. She blamed me for my boyfriend and his sister not being able to get along, even though they never had a good relationship to begin with. She continues to shame, guilt and her victim complex to abuse my boyfriend.
My boyfriend is currently still living with her due to his financial situation, but he has come to terms that his mother is a narcissist, and will never have the same empathy as a normal person. He continues to defend me and respect my wishes to not have a relationship with her.
I no longer felt welcomed and returned to my home where I was able to rebuild my relationship with my family. Fast forward a lot of traumatic events, I have blocked her on all social media, and I do not want a relationship with her.
Recently, my boyfriend had heat exhaustion and drove to my house because it was the closer option. He left his car at my house under the impression that he would grab it the next day. Unknowingly, his mother took it upon herself to pick up the car at my house. My boyfriend pays for the insurance, gas and the car itself. He got this car when he was 17 years old and I don’t think he’s a principal driver on it but he is the primary driver.
She rang the doorbell four times even though she knew I wasn’t at home. It was all caught on video and it was creepy since my boyfriend said he would pick it up tomorrow but she still came anyways and took it upon herself to pick up the car.
I don’t want my boyfriend’s mother to go to these lengths to keep controlling him. It’s difficult due to his financial situation and inflation but what do you think should be the best course of action? For the most part, as long as my boyfriend is working and making money, she stays off his back. But from time to time she goes crazy and becomes unhinged. She also hates the fact that I’ve set a boundary with her and will do anything to keep a relationship with me, despite how much she shit talks me and calls me derogatory names to her friends.
His mother is 64 years old. I have tried to repair the relationship multiple times but everything that comes out of her mouth is different than her actions.
Should my boyfriend just get a new car under his name?
submitted by unfinishedmango to motherinlawsfromhell [link] [comments]
My boyfriend has a narcissistic and bipolar mother. We have been dating for almost 3 years and when I lived with them, it was a nightmare. After living with his family for only a couple of months, it was clear that she played favourites and manipulated everybody to get her way through guilt and shame.
For context, she is divorced, and her daughter and her son (my boyfriend) live with her. She kindly opened her home to me when I was having family issues, however, that turned into a quick transaction for her. I paid rent, but there was an emotional transaction. Near the end of my stay at their house, she started to blame me for all of their family issues. She blamed me for my boyfriend and his sister not being able to get along, even though they never had a good relationship to begin with. She continues to shame, guilt and her victim complex to abuse my boyfriend.
My boyfriend is currently still living with her due to his financial situation, but he has come to terms that his mother is a narcissist, and will never have the same empathy as a normal person. He continues to defend me and respect my wishes to not have a relationship with her.
I no longer felt welcomed and returned to my home where I was able to rebuild my relationship with my family. Fast forward a lot of traumatic events, I have blocked her on all social media, and I do not want a relationship with her.
Recently, my boyfriend had heat exhaustion and drove to my house because it was the closer option. He left his car at my house under the impression that he would grab it the next day. Unknowingly, his mother took it upon herself to pick up the car at my house. My boyfriend pays for the insurance, gas and the car itself. He got this car when he was 17 years old and I don’t think he’s a principal driver on it but he is the primary driver.
She rang the doorbell four times even though she knew I wasn’t at home. It was all caught on video and it was creepy since my boyfriend said he would pick it up tomorrow but she still came anyways and took it upon herself to pick up the car.
I don’t want my boyfriend’s mother to go to these lengths to keep controlling him. It’s difficult due to his financial situation and inflation but what do you think should be the best course of action? For the most part, as long as my boyfriend is working and making money, she stays off his back. But from time to time she goes crazy and becomes unhinged. She also hates the fact that I’ve set a boundary with her and will do anything to keep a relationship with me, despite how much she shit talks me and calls me derogatory names to her friends.
His mother is 64 years old. I have tried to repair the relationship multiple times but everything that comes out of her mouth is different than her actions.
Should my boyfriend just get a new car under his name?
2023.06.09 09:37 unfinishedmango Narcissistic and bipolar Mother
Hello!
My boyfriend has a narcissistic and bipolar mother. We have been dating for almost 3 years and when I lived with them, it was a nightmare. After living with his family for only a couple of months, it was clear that she played favourites and manipulated everybody to get her way through guilt and shame.
For context, she is divorced, and her daughter and her son (my boyfriend) live with her. She kindly opened her home to me when I was having family issues, however, that turned into a quick transaction for her. I paid rent, but there was an emotional transaction. Near the end of my stay at their house, she started to blame me for all of their family issues. She blamed me for my boyfriend and his sister not being able to get along, even though they never had a good relationship to begin with. She continues to shame, guilt and her victim complex to abuse my boyfriend.
My boyfriend is currently still living with her due to his financial situation, but he has come to terms that his mother is a narcissist, and will never have the same empathy as a normal person. He continues to defend me and respect my wishes to not have a relationship with her.
I no longer felt welcomed and returned to my home where I was able to rebuild my relationship with my family. Fast forward a lot of traumatic events, I have blocked her on all social media, and I do not want a relationship with her.
Recently, my boyfriend had heat exhaustion and drove to my house because it was the closer option. He left his car at my house under the impression that he would grab it the next day. Unknowingly, his mother took it upon herself to pick up the car at my house. My boyfriend pays for the insurance, gas and the car itself. He got this car when he was 17 years old and I don’t think he’s a principal driver on it but he is the primary driver.
She rang the doorbell four times even though she knew I wasn’t at home. It was all caught on video and it was creepy since my boyfriend said he would pick it up tomorrow but she still came anyways and took it upon herself to pick up the car.
I don’t want my boyfriend’s mother to go to these lengths to keep controlling him. It’s difficult due to his financial situation and inflation but what do you think should be the best course of action? For the most part, as long as my boyfriend is working and making money, she stays off his back. But from time to time she goes crazy and becomes unhinged. She also hates the fact that I’ve set a boundary with her and will do anything to keep a relationship with me, despite how much she shit talks me and calls me derogatory names to her friends.
His mother is 64 years old. I have tried to repair the relationship multiple times but everything that comes out of her mouth is different than her actions.
Should my boyfriend just get a new car under his name?
submitted by unfinishedmango to NarcissisticAbuse [link] [comments]
My boyfriend has a narcissistic and bipolar mother. We have been dating for almost 3 years and when I lived with them, it was a nightmare. After living with his family for only a couple of months, it was clear that she played favourites and manipulated everybody to get her way through guilt and shame.
For context, she is divorced, and her daughter and her son (my boyfriend) live with her. She kindly opened her home to me when I was having family issues, however, that turned into a quick transaction for her. I paid rent, but there was an emotional transaction. Near the end of my stay at their house, she started to blame me for all of their family issues. She blamed me for my boyfriend and his sister not being able to get along, even though they never had a good relationship to begin with. She continues to shame, guilt and her victim complex to abuse my boyfriend.
My boyfriend is currently still living with her due to his financial situation, but he has come to terms that his mother is a narcissist, and will never have the same empathy as a normal person. He continues to defend me and respect my wishes to not have a relationship with her.
I no longer felt welcomed and returned to my home where I was able to rebuild my relationship with my family. Fast forward a lot of traumatic events, I have blocked her on all social media, and I do not want a relationship with her.
Recently, my boyfriend had heat exhaustion and drove to my house because it was the closer option. He left his car at my house under the impression that he would grab it the next day. Unknowingly, his mother took it upon herself to pick up the car at my house. My boyfriend pays for the insurance, gas and the car itself. He got this car when he was 17 years old and I don’t think he’s a principal driver on it but he is the primary driver.
She rang the doorbell four times even though she knew I wasn’t at home. It was all caught on video and it was creepy since my boyfriend said he would pick it up tomorrow but she still came anyways and took it upon herself to pick up the car.
I don’t want my boyfriend’s mother to go to these lengths to keep controlling him. It’s difficult due to his financial situation and inflation but what do you think should be the best course of action? For the most part, as long as my boyfriend is working and making money, she stays off his back. But from time to time she goes crazy and becomes unhinged. She also hates the fact that I’ve set a boundary with her and will do anything to keep a relationship with me, despite how much she shit talks me and calls me derogatory names to her friends.
His mother is 64 years old. I have tried to repair the relationship multiple times but everything that comes out of her mouth is different than her actions.
Should my boyfriend just get a new car under his name?
2023.06.09 09:33 zsh-958 I was so blind, I left my DeadBedroom and I was right to do it!
Long story short, I brought my gf, her kid and her mom to live to my house, I brought all of them from Russia, I paid everything this whole 2022 (ticket planes, airbnb, food...), rent a new apt, buy all furniture she wants, utilities, literally everything she want kinda to make her happy and don't miss her apt in Russia.
5 months ago we broke up, we were fighting a lot for small things, we were not even sleeping in the same bed, so after all I did, I feel just as a partner, a father for her kid, and a partneATM for her.
Also she was demanding a ring to even kiss me or sleep together and ofc have sex...but hey, she is a single mom and ofc she didn't ask for a ring to her ex.
All of that leads to a deadbedroom, not even a common bedroom, not even kisses, no hugs, touching, just partners in the same apt
With all the pain in my heart I left the apt, so I left her decide what she can do, stay here in this country, back to Russia, move to another country, it took 5 months to her to get Visa for NA, while that happen I keep paying everything, amazon, food, apt, clothes, bills, everything, making gifts for her kid.
Every single day I was thinking on her and her kid which I feel as mine, I was crying and I was devastated because I really love that kid and I felt so bad because that kid loves me too.
We talk sometimes, I said Im sorry, I want to fix it...but she continue with the idea of NA.
She just talk me to buy the tickets, help her with some stuffs and so on, because I deeply love her and her kid and I feel responsible for her here, I pay the tickets, for her.
Today when I back to my apt after I left her in the airport, I found like the apt is a complete mess, is dirty, looks like she didn't clean since I left, not even for her kid, it was rotten milk in the fridge, she left me all her meds, old clothes and even clothes which I gift to her, literally I just have receives and small boxes of meds, she even took electronic toothbrush hahaha.
The worst part which brokes my heart and makes me no feel sorry for her is SHE LEFT AN SPECIAL ALBUM I MADE FOR HER AND HER KID, it was an album with all the photos she send me during this years, every photo had an story which I could tell, I gift this to her on Christmas, when she open, she said thank and she even didn't check, back then it hurts also, but I said, well, later we will see together.
But look this album under all garbage she left, It made me realise I was nothing for her, I don't know what was her plan, if she loves me in some point at all, I don't if should I ask why she left this album, maybe she will say it was for me, or she didn't notice or she didn't like it, but she made sure to take pencils and color pencils, draw book I bought for her, what you would do?
I will cry when I will remember the kid and I will see that kid alone, but well, i cannot keep being the stupid man who defends her and protect her, making her excuses for everything she does.
Jeeesus I was so blind, so stupid, I was so in love like I prefer to ignore that behavior and blame myself all the time because I left her in another country.
If you want, share when did you noticed and decide you was right for what you did, what was the trigger.
submitted by zsh-958 to DeadBedrooms [link] [comments]
5 months ago we broke up, we were fighting a lot for small things, we were not even sleeping in the same bed, so after all I did, I feel just as a partner, a father for her kid, and a partneATM for her.
Also she was demanding a ring to even kiss me or sleep together and ofc have sex...but hey, she is a single mom and ofc she didn't ask for a ring to her ex.
All of that leads to a deadbedroom, not even a common bedroom, not even kisses, no hugs, touching, just partners in the same apt
With all the pain in my heart I left the apt, so I left her decide what she can do, stay here in this country, back to Russia, move to another country, it took 5 months to her to get Visa for NA, while that happen I keep paying everything, amazon, food, apt, clothes, bills, everything, making gifts for her kid.
Every single day I was thinking on her and her kid which I feel as mine, I was crying and I was devastated because I really love that kid and I felt so bad because that kid loves me too.
We talk sometimes, I said Im sorry, I want to fix it...but she continue with the idea of NA.
She just talk me to buy the tickets, help her with some stuffs and so on, because I deeply love her and her kid and I feel responsible for her here, I pay the tickets, for her.
Today when I back to my apt after I left her in the airport, I found like the apt is a complete mess, is dirty, looks like she didn't clean since I left, not even for her kid, it was rotten milk in the fridge, she left me all her meds, old clothes and even clothes which I gift to her, literally I just have receives and small boxes of meds, she even took electronic toothbrush hahaha.
The worst part which brokes my heart and makes me no feel sorry for her is SHE LEFT AN SPECIAL ALBUM I MADE FOR HER AND HER KID, it was an album with all the photos she send me during this years, every photo had an story which I could tell, I gift this to her on Christmas, when she open, she said thank and she even didn't check, back then it hurts also, but I said, well, later we will see together.
But look this album under all garbage she left, It made me realise I was nothing for her, I don't know what was her plan, if she loves me in some point at all, I don't if should I ask why she left this album, maybe she will say it was for me, or she didn't notice or she didn't like it, but she made sure to take pencils and color pencils, draw book I bought for her, what you would do?
I will cry when I will remember the kid and I will see that kid alone, but well, i cannot keep being the stupid man who defends her and protect her, making her excuses for everything she does.
Jeeesus I was so blind, so stupid, I was so in love like I prefer to ignore that behavior and blame myself all the time because I left her in another country.
If you want, share when did you noticed and decide you was right for what you did, what was the trigger.
2023.06.09 09:23 YllowKdWeil I have to admit something.
After some thinking, I've come to the conclusion that I was wrong. At least, for what I want in life anyway.
This is in regards to the rent vs buy argument. I'll preface this by saying it's not for those who can't afford to buy, it's for those who can afford but are choosing not to & to invest instead.
For a while, I was a strong advocate and practitioner of the lifestyle. But I couldn't help accept that it's just too risky of a bet.
The arguments many use...
"If you punch the numbers in a spreadsheet with annual rent increases of 3% & invest with a 7% return vs homeownership cost on X mortgage @ Y% rate and other expenses, it's cheaper!"
Who here is having fun in the current rental market? How many of the 100,000+ homeless would like stable living? Or, here's an exercise, go on flatmates.com and have a look at the people 45+ on there who are looking for a room in a share house with other randoms.
That's what happens when you lose the bet (choosing to rent instead of buy). You end up as either of those people if it goes south.
"But there's so many hidden costs! A roof could bust, pipes could burst, heater shit itself, it's never ending!"
Is the cost not better than the alternative though? Would you rather be complaining about that or complaining that you've been evicted and can't find anywhere to live?
As we've seen, rents have skyrocketed and more and more are without shelter. Choosing to rent is really giving up any sort of control and putting your faith at the whims of a landlord and the current market.
Bad health? Would you rather be on disability without a mortgage or on disability while still trying to cover rent?
"But my investments will cover it!" Will they? There's many other emergencies and/or curve balls in life that don't involve a house deteriorating. In 2020 I genuinely thought my job was secure, I lost that, got evicted from a crazy house share and suffered a brutal injury resulting in tens of thousands of dollars in rehab. Having the added stress of finding an emergency house just wasn't worth any spreadsheet calculation.
I also know people whos "emergency fund" wouldn't cover them if an actual emergency slapped them in the face but that's another argument.
Sometimes taking a money L can be a real-life W.
"But I don't want debt!" Put it this way, unless you plan to be homeless, you're always going to be in debt to someone for shelter. The mortgage holder just has the pain of seeing that debt in their account but they can dictate how quickly it evaporates. Go calculate 60 years of rent with a 3% increase each year, find that figure and imagine that in your bank because that's what your debt is. Your investments may cover it, but you still owe it.
The thing is, even if you can't control houses deteriorating and needing to pay them, you can at least control the most IMPORTANT things with housing.
• Pay off a house & max out Super. That's it. •
"But people blow money on dumb renovations!" Who cares? Let them. So long as that house is paid off and super has been maxed out for most of their lives, they're golden. Let them enjoy.
Remember, two things:
• House
• Super
Any other investments you amassed over your life is extra.
Why gamble on the house and/or super being there or not? It makes zero sense. The system is set up so you can't lose.
And I haven't even mentioned putting god damn hooks on walls for paintings.
submitted by YllowKdWeil to fiaustralia [link] [comments]
This is in regards to the rent vs buy argument. I'll preface this by saying it's not for those who can't afford to buy, it's for those who can afford but are choosing not to & to invest instead.
For a while, I was a strong advocate and practitioner of the lifestyle. But I couldn't help accept that it's just too risky of a bet.
The arguments many use...
"If you punch the numbers in a spreadsheet with annual rent increases of 3% & invest with a 7% return vs homeownership cost on X mortgage @ Y% rate and other expenses, it's cheaper!"
Who here is having fun in the current rental market? How many of the 100,000+ homeless would like stable living? Or, here's an exercise, go on flatmates.com and have a look at the people 45+ on there who are looking for a room in a share house with other randoms.
That's what happens when you lose the bet (choosing to rent instead of buy). You end up as either of those people if it goes south.
"But there's so many hidden costs! A roof could bust, pipes could burst, heater shit itself, it's never ending!"
Is the cost not better than the alternative though? Would you rather be complaining about that or complaining that you've been evicted and can't find anywhere to live?
As we've seen, rents have skyrocketed and more and more are without shelter. Choosing to rent is really giving up any sort of control and putting your faith at the whims of a landlord and the current market.
Bad health? Would you rather be on disability without a mortgage or on disability while still trying to cover rent?
"But my investments will cover it!" Will they? There's many other emergencies and/or curve balls in life that don't involve a house deteriorating. In 2020 I genuinely thought my job was secure, I lost that, got evicted from a crazy house share and suffered a brutal injury resulting in tens of thousands of dollars in rehab. Having the added stress of finding an emergency house just wasn't worth any spreadsheet calculation.
I also know people whos "emergency fund" wouldn't cover them if an actual emergency slapped them in the face but that's another argument.
Sometimes taking a money L can be a real-life W.
"But I don't want debt!" Put it this way, unless you plan to be homeless, you're always going to be in debt to someone for shelter. The mortgage holder just has the pain of seeing that debt in their account but they can dictate how quickly it evaporates. Go calculate 60 years of rent with a 3% increase each year, find that figure and imagine that in your bank because that's what your debt is. Your investments may cover it, but you still owe it.
The thing is, even if you can't control houses deteriorating and needing to pay them, you can at least control the most IMPORTANT things with housing.
- You choose what you pay. There's no need to live a lavish life. Live modestly and within your means. You have full control over what you agree to pay. The renter doesn't.
- You control how much interest you pay. "No you don't! Banks raise rates!". Yes they do, but if you buy modestly, put everything and the kitchen sink into the offset, find more work, having a partnehousemate(s) help slam off the mortgage, you eventually can save bucket loads in interest payments by clearing the mortgage a decade or two earlier. With renting you pay that forever.
- You can end up with more. Let's say you bowl it over in 20 years, that's 10 years of no mortgage and interest payments that you can now add to what you're already investing. The renter can still invest, but only after the landlord gets his piece of the pie.
• Pay off a house & max out Super. That's it. •
"But people blow money on dumb renovations!" Who cares? Let them. So long as that house is paid off and super has been maxed out for most of their lives, they're golden. Let them enjoy.
Remember, two things:
• House
• Super
Any other investments you amassed over your life is extra.
Why gamble on the house and/or super being there or not? It makes zero sense. The system is set up so you can't lose.
And I haven't even mentioned putting god damn hooks on walls for paintings.
2023.06.09 09:19 External-Football128 What the actual F is going on here, who are paying these prices?
 | submitted by External-Football128 to vancouver [link] [comments] |
2023.06.09 09:17 Haunting-Jelly8323 AITA for sitting in a couch while sick?
I (33f) live with my partner (34m), and for the last 5 months my partners friend (30somethingM) has been staying in our spare room "until he finds somewhere permanent" after he decided he didn't want to live with his other friend and their 5 children. He is not on the lease, he does not pay rent, buys groceries once in a blue moon, does not cook apart from making himself instant noodles, do not clean (though he did do the dishes maybe twice in the first month)- but does contribute to utility bills if we ask him. He has a full time job.
In our garage, we have a little couch and TV set up where my partner and his friend sit and chill in the morning, afternoon and evening. My partners friend is the one who bought the couch- but when he did he insisted that it would belong to my partner and I after he moves out.
I was sick with diarrhoea and vomiting last night, but stabilised by morning and was sitting on the couch next to my partner in the garage while he mentally prepped himself for work. Said friend comes in, so I stand and allow him to sit down where he usually does in the morning so he can chill before he goes to work as well. I went into the bedroom, where I could hear him speaking in a really agitated tone. So I hop up to see what's the matter and hear him saying "Why the fuck is she sitting in my spot? I don't fucking want to get sick! She shouldn't even be leaving the fucking bedroom if she's sick! I don't fucking need that shit, bro go get me the glen20 so I can sanitise this place so I don't get her fucking disease!" To which I went and grabbed the Glen20 and started spraying him directly because fuck him. He snatched it off me and exclaimed "Give me that so I can do it properly! I don't need to shit myself at work!"
I went back to bed after that, I was pretty tired and didn't have the energy for a fight. I know my partner didn't do much, but in his defense he works a hard physical job and was barely conscious when all this went down. He knew his friend was mad about something but wasn't listening to what he said. Out of spite I've been sitting in "his spot" all day and thinking it over. On one had I could see how I would be a bit of a dick, but a voice inside me yells "Fuck him, I can sit wherever the fuck I want in MY house that I pay rent for!"
So reddit, AITA?
submitted by Haunting-Jelly8323 to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]
In our garage, we have a little couch and TV set up where my partner and his friend sit and chill in the morning, afternoon and evening. My partners friend is the one who bought the couch- but when he did he insisted that it would belong to my partner and I after he moves out.
I was sick with diarrhoea and vomiting last night, but stabilised by morning and was sitting on the couch next to my partner in the garage while he mentally prepped himself for work. Said friend comes in, so I stand and allow him to sit down where he usually does in the morning so he can chill before he goes to work as well. I went into the bedroom, where I could hear him speaking in a really agitated tone. So I hop up to see what's the matter and hear him saying "Why the fuck is she sitting in my spot? I don't fucking want to get sick! She shouldn't even be leaving the fucking bedroom if she's sick! I don't fucking need that shit, bro go get me the glen20 so I can sanitise this place so I don't get her fucking disease!" To which I went and grabbed the Glen20 and started spraying him directly because fuck him. He snatched it off me and exclaimed "Give me that so I can do it properly! I don't need to shit myself at work!"
I went back to bed after that, I was pretty tired and didn't have the energy for a fight. I know my partner didn't do much, but in his defense he works a hard physical job and was barely conscious when all this went down. He knew his friend was mad about something but wasn't listening to what he said. Out of spite I've been sitting in "his spot" all day and thinking it over. On one had I could see how I would be a bit of a dick, but a voice inside me yells "Fuck him, I can sit wherever the fuck I want in MY house that I pay rent for!"
So reddit, AITA?
2023.06.09 09:15 cbeam1981 Funky garage smell
We just started renting a place. My garage is separate from the house.
The garage had a plastic deck flooring covering the floor. It has a newish roof and it looks like someone threw the old shingles in the ceiling, so the drywall ceiling is starting to come down. There are some holes in the walls too.
There was for sure water bug roaches in there, but we’ve had it sprayed a few times and that seems to be under control. There might be a rat in there. I saw a hole and there is a spot some insulation is messed us and theres poop. and there is for sure brown recluse in there. I saw one live and about 5 dead ones.
I got the floor up. I’m trying to clean in there but the smell is awful. Idk what it is. Its not mold, or mildew, and i don’t think its a dead animal. Its funky.
The only think I can think to do is scrub the concrete. What should I scrub it with?
I do have a rat guy coming tomorrow. Maybe the smell is rodent or roach related.
There is also a crack in the floor that i bought stuff to fill it. I’d like to use spray foam in the wall holes.
What else can I do?
submitted by cbeam1981 to CleaningTips [link] [comments]
The garage had a plastic deck flooring covering the floor. It has a newish roof and it looks like someone threw the old shingles in the ceiling, so the drywall ceiling is starting to come down. There are some holes in the walls too.
There was for sure water bug roaches in there, but we’ve had it sprayed a few times and that seems to be under control. There might be a rat in there. I saw a hole and there is a spot some insulation is messed us and theres poop. and there is for sure brown recluse in there. I saw one live and about 5 dead ones.
I got the floor up. I’m trying to clean in there but the smell is awful. Idk what it is. Its not mold, or mildew, and i don’t think its a dead animal. Its funky.
The only think I can think to do is scrub the concrete. What should I scrub it with?
I do have a rat guy coming tomorrow. Maybe the smell is rodent or roach related.
There is also a crack in the floor that i bought stuff to fill it. I’d like to use spray foam in the wall holes.
What else can I do?
2023.06.09 09:08 ThrowRAisnottaken Relationship help M20 F18
So I need some thoughts and opinions, I currently live with my girlfriend and her grandmother, both of them pay rent. I don’t, however, neither of them put any work in around the house, is it fair that I don’t have to pay rent bc I’m constantly cleaning the house, dishes, and making sure everything is in tip top shape? I only really ever use water to shower, but not as often as I should, and electricity from the stove to cook her dinner pretty much everyday. Another thing, I have really bad insecurities and trust issues so whenever someone in the past she used to talk too, she didn’t talk to anymore bc I was bothered by it, she continues talking to them again. Clearly my boundaries aren’t being respected. I understand myself that I have insecurities and flaws, but to go from one thing to back at it again, where does the respect lie? Whenever she was bothered by me speaking to someone, or just talked to in general I respected her wishes and blocked them no problem, but whenever I ask of it, it isn’t respected. It’s hurting me a lot, bc we’ve been together almost 8 months, and I just feel like she’s going to cheat on me bc of how she acts with our boundaries that I thought we set.
submitted by ThrowRAisnottaken to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 08:58 adamlavigne Buying a vacation/second home
My wife and I are tired of planning vacations yearly and are looking for a vacation home within 1.5 hours from home. We are planning on taking equity out on our primary residence to use a the 20% down payment. How do I figure how much of a house we can afford? We plan to rent it when not in use. We make about 150k a year, current mortgage is $1800 and vehicle loans are $900.
submitted by adamlavigne to RealEstate [link] [comments]
2023.06.09 08:55 Arcane-Panda Open Ground Outlets
I don't know if this would be the place to ask, but I know basically nothing about wiring. I recently moved into a new home I'm renting. It's an old farm house way out in the country. I tested one of the outlets and it came back as open ground. I tested all other outlets and every single one of them is open ground. There's still a few two prong outlets but most are three.
From my understanding though, a three pronged outlet that's open ground can be dangerous in power surges. Is this legal? Should I be concerned and if so what can do, if anything, to mitigate the risk?
Thank you in advanced for any help you can give.
submitted by Arcane-Panda to AskElectricians [link] [comments]
From my understanding though, a three pronged outlet that's open ground can be dangerous in power surges. Is this legal? Should I be concerned and if so what can do, if anything, to mitigate the risk?
Thank you in advanced for any help you can give.
2023.06.09 08:47 Late_Switch1047 AITA for wanting to kick out one of my roommates?
 | Sorry if this seems a bit all over the place. I have ADHD, and this is my first reddit post and I'm not entirely sure how to format it. I, 22f, currently live with three males. Pete age 21, Day age 20, and Aiden age 20 (names are fake). Aiden just moved in a day or two ago so he hasn't had any input on the situation yet, but Day and I are wanting to kick Pete out of the house and either replace him or just have it be the three of us. Pete isn't a very good roommate. We've been living with him for almost a year now, and we were hoping he would get better after we moved into the house (we all used to live in a one bedroom apartment and moved out at the end of last year). But nothing has really changed with living with him. A huge problem we have with him is the fact that he doesn't save money, and the only times he has the money for bills is usually around rent time. If we want him to contribute to utilities we have to ask him to help us otherwise he gets upset, but he still gets upset about what he has to pay for utilities because "he never has money to spend on himself." Which Day and I find to be a slap in the face. Day and I used to date and we have a car together that has a loan of about 7K, and we also have a car loan from a car that got totaled recently also for around 7K on top of our phone bill as we're on the same plan, and all the bills. So we are basically drowning in debt and never have money for ourselves sometimes we can't even buy groceries. Pete doesn't have anything he needs to pay for other than house bills. His parents pay for his phone bill. He also doesn't have a car so he doesn't have to pay for anything like that, but somehow he runs out of his paychecks after a couple days of getting it. Pete always so he has no idea where his money is going which is impossible considering I know he has access to view he bank account seeing as I helped him set up his mobile account. Day and I are pretty sure he is spending all his money at his job. He works at a grocery store and comes home almost every night with groceries like snack cakes, soda, ice cream, random food even though we can see he has plenty to eat. We also suspect that he spends money on video games although we cant prove that. Another thing he complains about are chores, or having to clean anything up that we know for a matter of fact was him because "he didn't do it." I have spent all of my days off deep cleaning the house for the past three weeks and a day after I finish the bathroom sink has a bunch of gunk all over it. We know it was him because he's the only one that has done stuff in the bathroom sink for the past couple weeks. (Day and I have depression and find it hard to take care of ourselves most days). Pete has not contributed to cleaning the house for months other then the dishes and I find it irritating to not be bothered to even rinse out a sink after he knows I've been deep cleaning. He also never rinses off his dishes and claims he's only been using one dish. Which is also impossible because Day has been eating pizza off the pizza pan he cooked it on and that's it, and I have eaten practically anything at all because its a symptom a new antidepressant I'm on. Pete also has a problem with hygiene. He rarely ever showers, never washes his clothes, and if you're near him or just standing outside his room with the door cracked it smells horrendous to the point I feel like I have to hold my breath or walk away or else I will gag. Last reason why I want to kick him out is because he seems very creepy and perverted. For 1. he is dating a 17 year old as a 21 year old and this is actually the second he's dating her. they used to date back when she was 14 or 15 and he was 19. And for 2. he has sent some insinuating pictures to a minor he just met. It wasn't nudes or anything like that. The girl he sent them to is the sister of one of our friends. She was about 13 or 14 when he first met her, she is now 16. The first pictures he sent were a pair, one was of gordon Ramsey looking down making a face and the other was an anime girl sucking provocatively on a finger. This was the first thing he had ever sent to her. No "hello" nothing. The next creepy thing he sent her was a weird meme about how she wanted to wear a maid outfit, thigh highs, and a skirt. But the way the picture is and because he sent it and past stuff he sent it seemed creepy. I added the pictures for more context. I have 14 year old sisters that like to come over to my house often and I am never comfortable leaving them alone near him. I'm barely even comfortable near him. Also before anyone says he's a predator or something he may be, but if he is it's because he's too stupid to realize what he is doing is wrong. Pete a lot of the times acts like he's still around 14 himself. I'm thinking it's due to how his parents raised him and the fact that he might be well into the autistic spectrum So after saying all this AITA for wanting to kick him out? submitted by Late_Switch1047 to TwoHotTakes [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/eltqcc6mvx4b1.jpg?width=471&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=391ea8e13b1568a29573b7197102a66dc553d3c1 https://preview.redd.it/7eqjtu6lvx4b1.jpg?width=601&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8d94ecbaec3bdf4efcf0a5454d06b3b8daa43aaa https://preview.redd.it/5e7sg8kjvx4b1.jpg?width=702&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b61af179904c65d6634fcf64f1b9c1f7ff1cad70 |
2023.06.09 08:47 Stunning-Nebula3103 Rental distress
I am a mother of two I work part time and partner works full time. We have just been told that the house we have been renting for 3 years will be terminating our lease in 6 weeks. I am grateful we have had somewhere to live the past few years but now I feel extremely distressed knowing the rental crisis right now and how hard it is going to be to find a new place that we can afford. My kids are 3 and 4 and I am so scared to be homeless. We struggle financially as it is and the thought of having to pack and find somewhere to live is too much to comprehend right now. IS THERE HOPE? Are people in Adelaide finding affordable rentals right now???
Do I start applying for places now??? What do I do! I feel so lost
submitted by Stunning-Nebula3103 to Adelaide [link] [comments]
Do I start applying for places now??? What do I do! I feel so lost
2023.06.09 08:47 HarrysOtherNip Looking for a 3rd roommate to move in end of July/August!
DM me and I'll share the link to our listing on Roomies.com so you can see pictures of the house!
Quick fire of the most important info:
• THIS IS AN ALL FEMALE HOUSEHOLD - we are only interested in people who identify as female
• Rent is currently $566 per person + utilities which come to anywhere between $60 and $120ish monthly, there is a possibility that it could increase with this lease renewal
• The house is walking distance from the business building, east side of Cooper St.
• Between the 2 of us we have 3 cats, open to more, dogs are a deal breaker because our back yard is private but not totally enclosed
• We are 23 and 25 so ideally looking for someone who is 21+
submitted by HarrysOtherNip to utarlington [link] [comments]
Quick fire of the most important info:
• THIS IS AN ALL FEMALE HOUSEHOLD - we are only interested in people who identify as female
• Rent is currently $566 per person + utilities which come to anywhere between $60 and $120ish monthly, there is a possibility that it could increase with this lease renewal
• The house is walking distance from the business building, east side of Cooper St.
• Between the 2 of us we have 3 cats, open to more, dogs are a deal breaker because our back yard is private but not totally enclosed
• We are 23 and 25 so ideally looking for someone who is 21+
2023.06.09 08:43 amtc1986 Paying almost $500 more than other tenants
Hi everyone,
I'm moving into a brand new building (first tenants) that is part of a big complex of condos. I signed for a $1492 rent for a 1 bedroom and later found out that a friend was living in the same complex in October 2022 and was paying $991 (not in the new building that I'm moving into).
Is this even legal to hike up the price so much for the same condo size and not even a year later?
Could a brand new building justify an almost $500 hike up in price?
This doesn't seem right...
I know things have changed and there is a housing issue in the Montreal area but still, not sure if a new building warrants this much of a hike in price.
Thing is, when I first went to see the place, which was still under construction and only got to see a model unit and floor plan, they told me it was $1401 (and even wrote it down on the floor plan) and then came back to me after a day or so and stated that there was an error, and the rent is actually $1492. Which I find again, weird. Something feels dishonest about it all.
Anyway, I signed. The place is nice and it's exactly what I need, but I would be happy to find out if there's any way I can get the regis involved for the price hike and somehow lower my rent.
$1492 is fine, but since I feel like there's some shadyness and dishonesty here, I want to see if I can get justice where it is deserved.
Thanks !
submitted by amtc1986 to montrealhousing [link] [comments]
I'm moving into a brand new building (first tenants) that is part of a big complex of condos. I signed for a $1492 rent for a 1 bedroom and later found out that a friend was living in the same complex in October 2022 and was paying $991 (not in the new building that I'm moving into).
Is this even legal to hike up the price so much for the same condo size and not even a year later?
Could a brand new building justify an almost $500 hike up in price?
This doesn't seem right...
I know things have changed and there is a housing issue in the Montreal area but still, not sure if a new building warrants this much of a hike in price.
Thing is, when I first went to see the place, which was still under construction and only got to see a model unit and floor plan, they told me it was $1401 (and even wrote it down on the floor plan) and then came back to me after a day or so and stated that there was an error, and the rent is actually $1492. Which I find again, weird. Something feels dishonest about it all.
Anyway, I signed. The place is nice and it's exactly what I need, but I would be happy to find out if there's any way I can get the regis involved for the price hike and somehow lower my rent.
$1492 is fine, but since I feel like there's some shadyness and dishonesty here, I want to see if I can get justice where it is deserved.
Thanks !
2023.06.09 08:38 Historical-Clock6777 Exemplary coverage of local dissent this morning, link in comments
 | submitted by Historical-Clock6777 to u/Historical-Clock6777 [link] [comments] |