She loved narcissus crossword

First of all, I don't even know whether this is the right sub for posting this issue of mine but as I associate this sub with inclusivity, here I go ranting.
I am deeply in love with my partner in ways that I can never love anyone else. We truly enjoy each other's company. Both of us consciously want to hang out with each doing nothing, compared to going out with others. And we feel this way about each other after years of relationship.
However, as she has been my only partner in life, I have always felt that I simply cannot die without experiencing another body. That curiosity has been lingering at the back of my head for years now. I think I am polyamorous. I even shared this desire of mine with my partner as well, asking her how is she OK with seeing just 1 dick for life!
That's when I discovered that women and men see sex very differently (yes there definitely are exceptions but anomaly doesn't negate generality). For her, sex is something very personal, intimate. She cannot share sex, as an activity with anyone else. She cannot imagine being that intimate with anyone else.
I, on the other hand feel that me having multiple partners is not going to hamper our relationship. In fact, our relationship will flourish in beautiful ways if she joins in my little adventures herself is what I feel. (Does being a male has anything to do with it???
Breaking up with her is out of the question because I want to grow old with nobody but her. I would rather suck up these desires if going on with it means separation from her. (Idk for how long though)
Am I an asshole for feeling this way? Am I an asshole for wanting to cheat? Because going ahead with my desires means keeping her in the dark and that's cheating. I think the taboo of cheating is making me want it more!! Are there others like me? Should I go ahead with this desire in some degree like sexting and VCs? Are there women who feel this way? Questions questions.

I need an outside perspective, we have been together 11 years now and have 2 kids together I left a very stressful job about 6 months ago for a new career with better pay and more sociable hours (all round better) but since then things just haven't been the same between us, we barely kiss each other any more we don't hold hands now, we don't cuddle in bed and sex is completely non existent.
We talked about things recently but didn't really get anywhere my wife has never been one to want to talk about things but she did reassure me everything was ok
Since the job change and spending more time with the family I'm so much more relaxed, we've had some lovely days together as a family and things seemed to be so much better but without the kids and dogs were just 2 people living under the same roof
The worst part for me now is I tried to make things more fun (silly fun) and put myself out there a bit more and got a lukewarm response at best so now I feel embarrassed (the cringe kills me) I'm still super attracted to her and love her very much but I noticed I've started avoiding looking at her. I don't know why things have changed so much I don't know if I'm just to close to the situation to see things clearly
Any advice will be greatly appreciated

My gf and I had a bout of difficulty around sex due to her being on the pill and hiding her reduced libido from me. She was not the most comfortable with being open about sex and thought she could just power through and have sex. In short this negatively effected my self esteem.
At this point the only thing she had told me about liking about sex was wanting to feel full to an extent. At the time I started to take her obvious lack of engagement/enjoyment in sex as a sign that maybe I don't give her that full feeling (not big enough). This is where I asked the wrong question. I asked whether her ex was bigger than me and she openly replied to me yes but by the tiniest bit probably (0.5 inch or something). This question was fuelled by all the negative emotion that I was feeling at the time. It got me down. I wondered how she could remember such tiny difference. It was probably more. He probably made her feel fuller and overall really wrecked my self esteem.
I brought this up to her, she assured me that there's literally no difference in the feeling in terms of fullness. She explained that remembering small differences is a function of him and I being close encounters. She said remembering the difference in this case is a tacticile and visual thing like remembering small differences in phone size. And the fact that I think it would make a difference in feeling is a bit ridiculous. She even mentioned any deeper would reduce pleasure.
I know this might be all in my head but this is the first time I've felt insecure about my manhood and I don't know how to deal with it. She tells me she has by far the best sex with me. But part of me constantly doubts all that she says and wonder if she's protecting me. I really love her would like to get past this and not let it effect my relationship. I want feel like the man that she tells me I am. But this small difference in size is really keeping me from being relaxed. I honestly don't want constantly ask for reassurance here.

Sixty-Minute Men & Women Writing The Hour Drama Written By Patricia Troy
Profiler
With the current proliferation of television series based around the weird, the paranormal and the just plain psychotic, last season's premiere of Profiler distinguished itself by being the most recognizably human. While X-Files agents Scully's and Mulder's characters remain about as multidimensional as holograms and the lead character on Millennium looks creepier than most of the killers he tracks, FBI profiler Sam Waters (Ally Walker) has the intelligence, warmth and depth of a fully drawn woman.
Created by writer Cynthia Saunders, the pilot established the main characters and the nature of the crimes they'd be dealing with. Originally set in the Atlanta Police Department, executive producers Kim Manners and Ian Sander worked with Saunders on the script so that by the end of the pilot Bailey Malone (Robert Davi) and Waters would head up the Violent Crimes Task Force operating under the auspices of the FBI.
"We had to figure out how to give the show legs," Manners explains, "so that's why we created the task force. Atlanta is a small jurisdiction, and being under federal auspices made it so that they could work all over the country. And as far as cases, they get the most complicated, most gruesome and the most technical."
One distinctive element of the show that wasn't written on the page was what is termed "Sam Vision"--a quick flash of images that are meant to visualize Waters' intuitive flashes as a trained profiler. The visions, which were created in post-production by Manners and Sander, have led to what the writers feel is a misconception that Waters is a psychic. "What she's seeing," Sander explains, "is not what's coming in the future. It's what she's surmised as a forensic psychologist and a cop. From our point of view we prefer that she's not clairvoyant because it makes the stories more difficult to write and execute. There are a lot more traps if there has to be a logic in how she got from A to B."
Although Manners and Sander will begin to contribute episodes for the coming season, the first year's scripts were written by the staff with collaboration and input from the two executive producers. Being a regular viewer of the show, I was a little apprehensive, but morbidly anticipating sitting down with the staff. What would people who sit around and think up stories about serial killings down to the most minute detail look and act like? Thankfully, they looked and acted like most TV writers (except for the one guy in Heaven's Gate black Nike running shoes--but it was probably just coincidence). The human elements of the series--Waters' relationship with her daughter, Malone's difficulties with his teenage she-rebel, the friendships and divisions between the members of the task force--have been developed by this team of writers: co-executive producers George Geiger and Steve Feke, executive story editor Bob Lowry, story editor Sibyl Gardner, writeproducer Charles Holland and consulting producer Dee Johnson.
According to Feke, "We don't want to write a series that requires week-to-week tune-in, but we do want there to be continuing stories for our characters. So we still put the emphasis on our A story--the crime that's going to be resolved. The deepest challenge is finding room inside of complicated stories that require a lot of scenes and finding room to keep the personal stories going." For Holland, "The more emphasis we put on the personal story the more it enriches the show in the sense that this show is scary. You're supposed to be scared of what's going to happen, not just to the victims but of what's going to happen to our folks."
Because of the complexity of the stories, Lowry states, "We work together a lot more than we work apart. We cross-check each other so that we're certain we haven't made any mistakes. I think the amalgamated talents of this staff combine to find a way to make a show that will be unique--something fresh for the audience to see that's not an X-Files or Walker: Texas Ranger." Gardner agrees: "Our strength as a team comes from who we are as people. We all have very different perspectives on life and the world and human relations."
So how do their personal world views come into play while writing? "I was doing research on serial killers and I noticed a lot of women were in love with Richard Ramirez and wanted to marry him. I thought, 'What's up with that?' And it was in exploring that psychology that created an episode." says Holland.
"I don't think that this show is about the FBI or profiling at its deepest level," he continues. "People read the paper and they see that some guy killed somebody and stuffed him in the trunk of the car; this guy keeps heads in his refrigerator. And they think, 'Why would somebody do that?' We spend all our time figuring that out and that's what really turns me on."
Okay...well, I gotta go now.
Originally sourced and archived from both here and here

I told my mother I am suicidal as I was in the middle of a breakdown a few weeks ago. She doesn’t care. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I’m nothing more than grades. I truly am good for nothing.
Why am I even alive? My own mother doesn’t care as long as it doesn’t impact her financially. My father left and only calls to tell me how horrible the world is, if he remembers he actually had a daughter, that is. My grandparents only see me as an investment, someone to take care of them when they are too old to do it themselves. I have no friends and no reason to live. No one loves me and no one cares.
Why should I care about my life? It’s not like I’ll do anything with it. My mother is right, I am useless, good for nothing. I don’t want to do this anymore. I wish I could just evaporate into thin air. No pain, no plan, nothing.

going to attempt to keep details to a minimum for privacy.
I recently married my husband. Right after we were married, we received a call from CPS about our niece being removed from my SIL's care. She was at some sort of group home/foster care while the state could figure out what to do about her custody arrangement.
long story short, the little girls dad wasn't aware of her existence and when he was made aware he made it clear he wasn't interested in taking her. her mom had a shortlist of people she would approve the child to go to and they were mostly her friends. CPS has been trying to place her and it doesn't seem like they can come up with any solution at all. I have attempted to constantly remain in contact with the caseworker (who doesn't get back to me with much detail when she does get back to me at all). we want to take the little girl, maybe not necessarily permanently but we have a big enough house with a backyard and pool. My brother also has a little girl almost the same age as her. it would be a stable, loving situation for her. This has been going on for over a month now and we are really worried about her.
I guess my question is do we have any legal recourse we can take here, or do we just wait for the process to play out? should I look into hiring a lawyer? TIA

——-
She had dreams. Of flying high throughout the sky and bursting through clouds. Her large shadow piercing the ground below as wings flapped. A loud cry of large bird called throughout the sky.
They awoke, a new arrival in question woke with a jolt. Hair tied into a bun and her light eyes blinked waking from a long sleep. A cryo-sleep. Her eyes cracked open, staring blankly at the metal paneled wall in front of her face. A blue glow emitted the only light in the container. Smacking her lips, she glanced around the small space that she had been sleeping in for the past few years. She frowned curiously at the small droplet of water floating above her. Reminding her of where she was. She licked her mouth uncomfortably, trying to get some moisture back in her mouth. Glancing above her head she caught a glimpse of the ship outside the small window.
Pandora.
—
Hello! I am looking for another partner to indulge in a roleplay over the universe of Avatar. The beautiful world built and directed by James Cameron. I have loved the film and comics since they came out and had been excited for avatar 2. Having seen it, It was amazing and rekindled my interest for this wonderful world
A little about myself. I am 21 years old, I write a few paragraphs ranging from one to ten depending on the situation and scene. I write in third person and love talking ooc. I thinks its nice to talk to my partners and get to know them
And PLEASE, if you just write, “hey” or “saw your post”, I will likely not respond
Hope this interests you so we can build a world together!

I've been trying to connect the dots. So many things didn't make sense to me till I finally pieced them together.
I'm currently 26 yo male with an amazing girlfriend and I hope that I will be able to stay in this relationship without blowing it up.
From around 13 yo, I've had an inexplicable fear and hatred of women. I was attracted to girls, but I couldn't seem to see myself being with them or even near them. The proximity or physical contact of a girl put me on high alert, like I was in danger. The pain of loving and hating women destroyed me.
At 14 yo, I experienced serious depersonalization and derealization. I felt so out of touch with reality and myself. I remember trying to describe my experience to google and learning about these words. I spent most of my teenage years socially isolated. I was addicted to video games, masturbation and porn.
In my late teens to early 20s, I had a strong preference for older women, or women who were taller than me. I felt physical attraction to girls my age, but I had no interest in dating them. I had strange sexual fantasies too. I often fantasized about being molested by women, particularly older women. I didn't know why it turned me on so much. I visited prostitutes a handful of times and I only visited older women. Their ages ranged from 30 to 50. I realized at age 21 that I had a sex addiction problem. Each visit to a prostitute left me with deep guilt and shame, yet I kept going back. I hated masturbating to porn yet I couldn't stop myself. I decided to start NoFap to regain a sense of sexual normalcy.
I say with great shame that I had an incest fetish. I sexualized other family members. I fantasized about sexual encounters with an imaginary sister and with extended family members.
My mother walks around the house in just a tank top and panties most of the time. It has always been this way all my life. A few times in my late teens to early 20s, I felt aroused by the sight of her. I ignored these thoughts. Despite this, I couldn't tolerate any physical contact with my mother from the age of around 12. Any physical contact with her, no matter how small and inconsequential, would send me into a fit of rage. I'd shout at her to not touch me and to get away from me. It wasn't always like that. I used to be very close and very affectionate with my mother.
My mother treated me like her boyfriend for most of my life. I have a younger brother and an older brother, but my mother treated me like I was special when I was a child. I slept with her in the same bed as a child till about 11-12 yo. She swung between telling me that she wants to elope with me to another country to start a new life together and telling me that she wants to abandon the family or kill herself. I was her emotional blanket. We had many deep emotional and philosophical conversations together. I was in love with my mother.
The incest kicked in full swing after my father was imprisoned when I was around 10 yo. My father was physically abusive towards me till then. I remember being happy that he was gone. I didn't just want him gone, I wanted him dead.
We only had one usable bathroom/toilet at home. Once, probably around 10 yo, I wanted to poop while my mother was showering. I told her and she let me in to poop. I pooped naked at that time. Mind you, there is no wall, curtain or barrier between the shower and the toilet. I remember watching my mother shower and having lots of conversations with her. Somehow, this became a regular thing I looked forward to. Sometimes, I had no intention to poop, but I still went into the bathroom and be at the toilet naked watching her shower. One time, I saw my mother having her period. I watched period blood flow down her legs while she showered. She explained to me that this is what women experience every month and that it's good for me to learn more about women. I simply nodded and listened to her obediently.
There was once my mother, my younger brother and I were watching a film at home together and a pornographic sex scene came up. I remember feeling uncomfortable and weirded out by it. I looked over to my mother and she seemed unfazed. I remember her telling me that it's no big deal, it's only weird if I make it weird.
My mother often dressed and undressed in the bedroom with me inside. I asked my younger brother and he seemed to also remember seeing my mother change, but less than me. Often, I would be in my bed and my mother would come in to change. She'd tell me not to look while she changed. I would hide my face in my blanket to avoid seeing her naked. This makes no sense to me now. If she didn't want me to look, why didn't she tell me to leave the room? Why did she let me stay inside?
I seemed to have a strong fascination with my erect penis as a toddler. I vaguely remember showing my erect penis to my mother. I remember feeling very intrigued by it and asking my mother why my penis became big.
I have been hypersexual ever since I was a young child. I remember having sexual fantasies at around 5 yo. The sexual fantasies involved my mother or the female teachers at the kindergarten. I remember looking at my mother's bra hung behind a door and feeling aroused by it.
I have a very suspicious memory. I was probably around 10 yo and my father was in jail at the time. I was in the bedroom with just my mother. I remember feeling very angry and violated. Then, my mother said to me "girls can touch boys, but boys cannot touch girls". I became furious. I understood that my mother was telling me that I can be molested by women. I threw a tantrum said "I hate girls". Since then, when I slept at night, I felt a strong need to cover myself with my blanket, especially my private parts. For some reason, I didn't feel safe sleeping. I am unable to recall what led up to this incident, but it is a strong indicator to me that my mother may have molested me. I have a vague feeling that she stopped since this incident. I asked my mother as an adult now if she remembers saying this. She didn't remember but she told me that it makes sense that she told me "boys cannot touch girls" because she didn't want me to be accused of sexual assault.
At around 10 yo, a school teacher told the class that I used to be a very cheerful and happy kid when she first met me, but now I seemed sad and emotionless most of the time. From then till my early 20s, I had several episodes of depression and anxiety. Since 13 yo, I have frequent suicidal and homicidal thoughts till today.
The sexual abuse is only one piece of the puzzle. My father's physical abuse, my mother's borderline personality, the parent-child role reversal, the emotional abuse, the complete neglect by both my parents, the excessive hoarding that both my parents did, all of these left me deeply broken inside. I remember telling people as a teenager that I live with my parents but I feel like an orphan.

I was raised on princesses. My favourite movie when I was little was The Swan Princess. I was obsessed with the idea of everlasting love, of someone who loved you so much they would do anything to save you. I aspired to be like Odette: strong, brave, loyal, and beautiful. I loved her long blonde hair, her grace, her femininity. I internalised the idea that in order to find my prince, my knight in shining armour, I needed that femininity and grace. Then I would find someone who would never let me go.
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of three years. During the stress of my honours year, he had to do a lot of looking after me. I think something shifted between us, and he saw me not as an equal, but more like a beloved pet that he had to care for. He stopped being interested in being intimate with me. For a long time I felt ugly. I am a signed model, I have done plenty of photoshoots, I have always been told I am beautiful. But in the eyes of my prince charming, I was no longer desirable. And no amount of compliments could make me feel otherwise. I became like a black hole, seeking validation everywhere, and never getting enough. Never enough.
I spent my whole life jumping from man to man, a remora attaching itself to a shark. I haven't been single for longer than three months since I was fourteen years old. I am twenty-six. I do not know who I am when it is just me. I am a stranger to myself. And I am so afraid of being alone.
I went to a men's salon because I didn't trust stylists at the women's salon to get the short cut right. My stylist didn't blink an eyelash when I told her I wanted to keep my hair, or when I asked if she might video the moment it was cut off. I thought of Mulan, going to war; I thought of Zuko and Iroh, leaving the Fire Nation. And when she brought out the clippers and began to buzz the back of my neck, I thought of Britney Spears: "I don't want anyone touching my hair. I'm sick of people touching my hair."
I felt so light in that moment. I smiled so hard I thought I would cry.
I have always desperately craved male validation and approval. Something something, daddy issues. And I am so afraid to be without a man to attach myself to. I was so afraid of losing the femininity that I have always striven to embody, in order to be appealing to men, in order to be a Disney princess, in order to find my prince charming.
In that moment, I chose to be my own prince charming. I chose to save myself.
When my stylist put the bleach in my hair, she covered it with cling wrap and tin foil. She joked that I would look a bit odd for a while. I told her, it's like a butterfly in a chrysalis. She said, or like someone trying to pick up signals from aliens.
The bleach began to sting, and then to burn. I tolerated it for as long as I could. I am used to pain: to remove my body hair, I use an epilator, which rips the hair out with spinning tweezers; just yesterday, I waxed my intimate parts, and barely winced at the agony. But this pain became unbearable. I envisioned my scalp bubbling as it fried under the heat of the bleach. But I endured. When she rinsed out the bleach, my scalp was blistered and oozing blood from the chemicals. I thought of the little mermaid, who so badly wanted feet, whose every step felt like walking on knives. I thought of the phrase, Beauty is Pain.
When I left the salon, I went to buy a shirt for graduation. The teller was this beautiful trans woman. She told me I looked amazing. I told her I was scared to go through such a change, that I've never had hair this short. She told me: rock it, girl. I glowed.
At the grocery store ten minutes later, an old woman told me she loved my hair. I thanked her, and I glowed.
At the bus stop, a man stopped me and asked if I was a model. I told him, yes. He said, "You look beautiful." I thanked him, and I glowed.
And when I look in the mirror now, I look more like myself than I ever have in my life.
I spent so long feeling ugly, and I was so afraid of change making me unloveable. But now, when I look at myself, I think, You look amazing. I thank myself. And I glow.

y'all I really don't know where to begin with this but the title essentially says it all. I (24) have been seeing this therapist for about 8 months now, and I originally started seeing her because I was just starting to get into my queerness by dating, and I knew that when I did decide to come out to my family I would need support. For background, I come from a super southern baptist Christian family, the kind where we go to church and sunday school every week, my father was a deacon, and my mom served on basically every ministry. So they are very traditional and after coming out, my mom was the one most obviously hurt and disappointed by the news. Her vibe is basically "I still love you and I still want us to have our close relationship, but what you're doing is morally wrong" She's said to me before that she "believes the scripture" and won't go against it... but again still wants a relationship with me.
Anywho! So this is all going on, and after a few months of warming up to my therapist, I finally start to open up to her about my religious trauma I decided to finally face. I never grew up believing that being gay was wrong. If anything, I grew up always wondering why folks were so mad about it. But after hearing it all my life, of course, it's hard not to internalize it. So I'm talking to her about my shame because I knew that she was a Christian and I've met many queer Christians who actively practice their faith but don't believe that being gay is a sin.
I ask her how does she handle still keeping her faith but feeling conflicted because the church is so homophobic and thinks its wrong. She straight up told me that being gay IS a sin and that no sin is greater than the other. I was sort of caught off guard, didn't say anything, and I've seen her for two more sessions. I mentioned this to my girlfriend, who's Muslim and has had many convos with me affirming that queerness doesn't equal sin, and she suggested that I immediately drop her. What do you all think? I do feel weird that she said that to me, especially when I was talking about my shame. But on one hand I wonder if its ok for her to think that and keep seeing her just because finding a new therapist is so damn hard.
What would you do if you were me? And any advice for a baby gay who's still unpacking her religious shame? Would love to hear you alls stories.

As Maya watched the village kids playing, she thought back to her younger years. Although she was now as good as a human she still carried demon blood. She wasn't as strong as she was in her hay day but she was stronger than the average human both in magic and physical capabilities and lived a much longer life. It had been 400 years since she last fought as a full blooded demon with her sister. It took her a while to forgive herself. After all, it was her fault the demonlord and her sister were dead. It was her love for humans that was the downfall of the great demonlord Kaios.
400 years earlier
She walked into the courtroom of the demonlord and kneeled in front of him. He was staring longily at the moon. When he took the throne, his first order was to install a sky light in the courtroom. Being in the demon's domain, the sun rarely shined there. The moon was almost always out throughout the day.
"My lord,"
she asked, bowing in respect.
"You may speak Maya,"
he said as he turned his gaze towards her, his cold, empty eyes returning to its normal state.
"My lord I-I'm"
She struggled to get the words out she felt her hands turn to ice and her throat dry up as bead of sweat started to form on her forehead she had decided to fore go her black and gold armor which was standard for a general of the demonlord's army. She decided to wear her favorite black dress, hoping it would bring her luck. The demonlord was a reasonable person, but treason is unforgivable.
"You may speak freely Maya after all, you are my most trusted general."
Although he complimented her, his voice was just as hollow and cold as his eyes.
"My lord I'm sorry I will take whatever punishment you have for me....I gave the humans access to the demon's domain they are bringing a force of 750,000 soldiers from every corner of the world lead by the hero"
right as she finished her sentence she assumed she was about to face a very painful death but a long silence followed
"Why Maya? I know out of my 4 generals you showed the least resentment towards humans but to side with them?"
He asked out of pure curiosity she could not sense anger from him, she looked up and into his gray eyes.
"I realized that humans are precious that they are good people. I can see why the gods favor them. No one human is the same they are so complex that I can't wrap my head around it. Some of them have become corrupt, but I truly believe that they can change. "
The demonlord rested his cheek on his hand
"What about demons?"
"We all can change are demons not far off from humans? Who we are as people are not set in stone we can all be blinded so easily whether it's by money, power, fame,......love, hate, that doesn't make us evil that is what makes us people is this not what they goddesses of creation intended?For us to live free? Free to make our own choices. Only we can redeem ourselves because the choices we make our solely our own. I saw firsthand good humans and evil humans turn good seeing how happy they are, how innocent, I can't let them die."
She bowed her head again, waiting for her punishment. The demonlord stood up and walked towards her
"Raise your head Maya"
He held out his hand to help her up, she was confused but took it. His hands were as cold as death but they had this certain warmth to them though maybe it was because she still could not sense any anger "Why?" She thought.
"You love the humans I can understand why"
He looked towards the moon again
"Someone once said something similar about humans to me...stay still Maya"
she did as he asked. He reached into her chest. The pain was unimaginable but she dared not to make a sound or move she just closed her eyes until she saw a light a bright shimmering light from her chest after a minute of this the light faded and he pulled his hand back. She fell to her knees.
"M-My lord, what did you do?"
She asked weakly, clutching her chest.
"I cleansed your soul Maya you are now as good as human. You can walk among them as one of them although you still carry demon blood, you'll be stronger than the average human. and live longer than them"
"Is that possible?"
The demonlord put his hand on her shoulders and helped her to her feet still holding her
"You said it yourself people can change but only if they want to"
He tightened his grip
"Now since you are now human and you betrayed me your punishment. I the Demonlord Kaios hereby banish you from my army and the demon's domain"
she grabbed his arms
"Wait my lord this- I can't accept this in hours this place will become a battlefield because of me and you're letting me go?"
A portal opend behind her
"My lord please don't this portal will only work once, you have no escape if you use it now"
He picked her up as she squirmed trying to get free but it was futile and they both knew it
"The demonlord does not listen to the squabble of humans"
He threw her through the portal she tried to run back but the portal was starting to close
"You served me well Maya enjoy the life you chose do not regret it because then it was for nothing"
the portal closed. Days later she heard that the hero defeated the demonlord. Even today she doesn't understand why he acted the way he did either way she couldn't be more grateful for him because now she has a husband and a baby on the way she decided to name her child Zack after all it was the name the demonlord used when he disguised himself as a human.

“Watch your step in the shadows. Watch your back in the light. Win a prize beyond your wildest dreams or disappear into forgotten history. Every day your life is on the line. Every day you could become a legend. Welcome to Baldur’s Gate.”
Hello folks! My name is Kelly (24 years old, she/her), and I am looking to DM a group of relatively experienced players for a homebrew/remixed module of Baldur’s Gate Descent into Avernus. My friend, Brian (27 years old, he/him), and I have played D&D together for a while and we’d love to welcome three more folks into our D&D sphere (four players total)!
I plan to run sessions on Mondays, starting ideally at 7:30 PM EST, over Discord and Roll20.
I primarily run homebrew campaigns. However, I’m currently in the middle of creating a new homebrew world and just can’t wait to play D&D. So, I’ve remixed much of the plot, settings, and module of Baldur’s Gate DiA and am looking forward to running a very fun (potentially insane) campaign.
A quick round of facts about me - I’ve been playing D&D for about eight-ish years now, primarily as a DM. I adhere firmly to the rule of cool and prioritize creating memorable stories and cinematic moments for my players. In this way, I do tend to lean heavily on story building and RP, though I do equally love timely combats and encounters. Also, if you fill out the interest form below, I will ask you for your favorite song as a “secret question.” I have a ton of fun creating different monsters, spells, subclasses - so you should expect to see some of my homebrew creations during the course of this campaign! If you are a RAW player, I might not be the right fit for you.
I’m not sure how much interest I’ll get from this thread. But, as a long time lurker trying to fit tradition, I’ll post an interest form below for you to fill out if you feel so inclined! I'll reach out to you to chat if we think that your playing still meshes well with our table! I plan to close out this form either at the end of today or noon tomorrow. I'll update this post once I do so. Please let me know if you can't access the link below!
https://forms.gle/JTt3EHZhE84osWiE9

Hey everyone so I read this book recently but I can not remember the title. The book was about this girl who turns out to be the daughter of some rich guy but he only wants to use her for some surgery since he is sick. After the surgery he makes everyone think that she is dead but really he sends her to a house by the beach with her bodyguard. Later on years pass and her and her bodyguard escape and have a relationship. Basically they live somewhere with fake identities and have a kid together. He later dies and she goes back to her old life. I think her first love interest played a sport maybe football I can’t remember.

As Maya watched the village kids playing, she thought back to her younger years. Although she was now as good as a human she still carried demon blood. She wasn't as strong as she was in her hay day but she was stronger than the average human both in magic and physical capabilities and lived a much longer life. It had been 400 years since she last fought as a full blooded demon with her sister. It took her a while to forgive herself. After all, it was her fault the demonlord and her sister were dead. It was her love for humans that was the downfall of the great demonlord Kaios.
400 years earlier
She walked into the courtroom of the demonlord and kneeled in front of him. He was staring longily at the moon. When he took the throne, his first order was to install a sky light in the courtroom. Being in the demon's domain, the sun rarely shined there. The moon was almost always out throughout the day.
"My lord,"
she asked, bowing in respect.
"You may speak Maya,"
he said as he turned his gaze towards her, his cold, empty eyes returning to its normal state.
"My lord I-I'm"
She struggled to get the words out she felt her hands turn to ice and her throat dry up as bead of sweat started to form on her forehead she had decided to fore go her black and gold armor which was standard for a general of the demonlord's army. She decided to wear her favorite black dress, hoping it would bring her luck. The demonlord was a reasonable person, but treason is unforgivable.
"You may speak freely Maya after all, you are my most trusted general."
Although he complimented her, his voice was just as hollow and cold as his eyes.
"My lord I'm sorry I will take whatever punishment you have for me....I gave the humans access to the demon's domain they are bringing a force of 750,000 soldiers from every corner of the world lead by the hero"
right as she finished her sentence she assumed she was about to face a very painful death but a long silence followed
"Why Maya? I know out of my 4 generals you showed the least resentment towards humans but to side with them?"
He asked out of pure curiosity she could not sense anger from him, she looked up and into his gray eyes.
"I realized that humans are precious that they are good people. I can see why the gods favor them. No one human is the same they are so complex that I can't wrap my head around it. Some of them have become corrupt, but I truly believe that they can change. "
The demonlord rested his cheek on his hand
"What about demons?"
"We all can change are demons not far off from humans? Who we are as people are not set in stone we can all be blinded so easily whether it's by money, power, fame,......love, hate, that doesn't make us evil that is what makes us people is this not what they goddesses of creation intended?For us to live free? Free to make our own choices. Only we can redeem ourselves because the choices we make our solely our own. I saw firsthand good humans and evil humans turn good seeing how happy they are, how innocent, I can't let them die."
She bowed her head again, waiting for her punishment. The demonlord stood up and walked towards her
"Raise your head Maya"
He held out his hand to help her up, she was confused but took it. His hands were as cold as death but they had this certain warmth to them though maybe it was because she still could not sense any anger "Why?" She thought.
"You love the humans I can understand why"
He looked towards the moon again
"Someone once said something similar about humans to me...stay still Maya"
she did as he asked. He reached into her chest. The pain was unimaginable but she dared not to make a sound or move she just closed her eyes until she saw a light a bright shimmering light from her chest after a minute of this the light faded and he pulled his hand back. She fell to her knees.
"M-My lord, what did you do?"
She asked weakly, clutching her chest.
"I cleansed your soul Maya you are now as good as human. You can walk among them as one of them although you still carry demon blood, you'll be stronger than the average human. and live longer than them"
"Is that possible?"
The demonlord put his hand on her shoulders and helped her to her feet still holding her
"You said it yourself people can change but only if they want to"
He tightened his grip
"Now since you are now human and you betrayed me your punishment. I the Demonlord Kaios hereby banish you from my army and the demon's domain"
she grabbed his arms
"Wait my lord this- I can't accept this in hours this place will become a battlefield because of me and you're letting me go?"
A portal opend behind her
"My lord please don't this portal will only work once, you have no escape if you use it now"
He picked her up as she squirmed trying to get free but it was futile and they both knew it
"The demonlord does not listen to the squabble of humans"
He threw her through the portal she tried to run back but the portal was starting to close
"You served me well Maya enjoy the life you chose do not regret it because then it was for nothing"
the portal closed. Days later she heard that the hero defeated the demonlord. Even today she doesn't understand why he acted the way he did either way she couldn't be more grateful for him because now she has a husband and a baby on the way she decided to name her child Zack after all it was the name the demonlord used when he disguised himself as a human.

Per the custody arrangement my DH gets the kids over their spring break. His ex flipped the eff out because while her DH is out of work, she is taking the week off in order to take care of his kids, so she wanted hers home too.
My husband was like "nope, per the order I have them". He told my 2 ss's the plan for spring break included them going to go see their grandma (she loves the boys) but BM did NOT like that while she was spying in on their phone call. She texted my DH over and over after the call how she did not want that and to just give them to her for that week, but DH said no.
Guess who is "sick" and has to go to the doctors? One of my stepsons. She has done this multiple times now, said the youngest was sick and withheld him from DH's visitation because she didn't trust my DH to take care of him, even though she always sends him with some new medicine.
My DH has contacted the lawyer in the past over the withholding, but didnt go so far as to call police, because he didnt want to traumatize his son. Down here the police will enforce custody orders. Last time she withheld one of the boys was because he had a "rash" that NO doctor could figure out the source to and my DH was so distraught. Especially since the next time we saw him he was FINE and my oldest SS said his brother is "over whatever that was and doesn't need any medicine".
I told DH he better call the police this time because I KNOW she will pull some shit. She didnt get her way so shes going to weaponize the kids to hurt my DH.
I told him to also call the kid's school for a number count on how often she pulls them out; to get the number of excused AND unexcused absences. And to call the doctor's office for the number of times she has taken the youngest. Its always him that gets sick and fuck it, I told DH when we eventually take her back to court we play her card and go for allegations of neglect due to how often he gets mysterious illnesses.
Im just pissed. Ive been planning their spring break as Im going to be home and I KNOW HCBM is starting shit.

I'm dating my fp. Have been for 6 months. Everything's going good with her, she somehow deal with me and still love me on my worse days. She knows about my problem, and she knows she's my fp and is okay with all that. She's the best I could ever have, she makes me feel better than I ever did before. But people want to steal that away from me. They want her, and that put me in an aweful rollercoaster of emotions...
Like yes I GET IT she's attractive I KNOW THAT. But can they just fucking leave her alone? I'm so tired of seeing people flirting with her, I fucking hate it. Most even do it AFTER SHE TOLD THEM ABOUT ME. I'm so fucking done, I wish people would just STAY AWAY. I just want to make sure that NO ONE ever approach her like that again, I want her all to myself. She's dating ME not THEM. CAN'T THEY GET THAT IN THEIR STUPID MINIATURE BRAINS?! Are they ever gonna stop trying to steal her away from me? It's exausting for the BOTH OF US.
She is amazing, I am not. I can't compete against all of them, I can't compete against ANY of them. I don't want her to leave, I can't let her leave, I would do anything... Why does everyone wants to steal her away from me, why do they keep trying?? THEY KNOW THAT I EXIST, THEY KNOW THAT WE'RE DATING. Why are humans so fucking disrespectful?

Hello dnd reddit, some of you might remember I made a post a few days ago on how to improve a villain concept from my world. I have taken all the helpful feedback, and then looked at what our party wants from the game, and reworked it all into this revision. My old version you can find here. If you wnat to see my world map where some locations may be, check it here (the players also love the map and begin the game at preroot)
Anyways, here is my revision. Any more feedback? If not that's okay because I'm in love with what I have landed on.
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"Pellanisstra Hun'rriet was born a drow noble, some miles under the earth, in the Underdark city of Ulentalos, with 5000 Drow. She is 160 years old.
MotivationRoughly 150 years ago, the Kirkwall humans sent an army underground to fight the drow, for they blamed them for a plague that struck the town that Kirkwall called “Widow’s blood” for it was believed to have begun from spiders (Widow’s blood still exists). Many drow and humans were slaughtered, and the battle was considered a victory for Kirkwall. There was only one survivor of this incursion; that would be Pellanisstra Hun’rriet. A little girl who was exposed to the cruelty of war so early, and witnessed all her royal family and citizens become corpses. She swore that she would rebuild her noble house and obliterate Kirkwall.
After the war, she was discovered by an aboleth. The aboleth saw the destruction of her home; he felt a strange kinship, for he had also had his temples ruined, and his slaves killed or taken, due to a mind flayer invasion. He decided it beneficial to work together, and perhaps he could even be considered an alien father figure. With his support, and her furious grit, the city of Ulentalos was reconstructed and expanded to be more powerful than ever. Pellanisstra became a head matron mother; she was cruel to the upmost degree. To retain him as an ally and a father, she began a lottery system where lesser drow people would be given to the aboleth to become enslaved. His temples would thus be rebuilt as well"
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Stick with your villains guys! There's always tons of ways you can improve them to fit the world or scenario. Let loose your mind and be creative, is what I learned the past couple of weeks!

I don't want her just to do perverted things, i just want her to cuddle me to sleep. I want a big strong robo gf with free will, but she looks like the twins from atomic heart. I want her to be my loving gf.

My FIL died very unexpectedly 3 weeks ago, everyone was devastated. Now that the funeral is over my MIL has been going through his things. My FIL loved to cook it was his favorite thing to do. He got himself a ton of nice pots/pans/cutting board all different types of kitchen gadgets you get the point. I also love cooking so I thought that some of that stuff would be the perfect thing to have in our home to remember him by.
MIL was over dropping off FIL's golf clubs for my husband so I asked about the the cooking supplies. She said she gave all the fancy stuff to SIL since she just moved into her new condo and cooking was her and her dads thing. They would cook together and go to cooking classes together. I get that but I asked MIL if I could also get some of it to have in our home and cook with to remember FIL by.
She said said but she has already given it to her. I reminded her that we had a fairly new home too we were trying to furnish and it was unfair for her to get everything it should have been split evenly or we could have all gone though it together and split it up. she once again said sorry she already gave it too her and reminded me about an event that happened a few years ago.
Here where I may be the asshole after SIL moved home from college she has a ton of apt and kitchen stuff from her apt at school. When my husband and I moved into our first apt we took almost all of it. Then I had my bridal shower a few months later. I got a bunch of new stuff and threw out all of SIL's old stuff. It was years old at that point so I didn't think she would want it back. When her and her BF moved into their first apt she was pissed that she had to buy all new things and it was a big deal in the family. We gave them a very nice housewarming gift.
But this has nothing to do with that. Those were plates and dishes this is pro chef equipment that belonged to FIL. We were close to FIL too and would like to have something to remember him by she isn't even the one who host holiday's in the family. Wouldn't it be nice to know I prepared Christmas dinner with FIL's supplies. I sent SIL a text saying so and she never replied but my husband told me while he thinks it should have been split 50/50 he just wants me to drop it.

Well we broke up.
Before we knew what ROCD was, I was bending over backwards to “fix” what I could - appearance critiques, personality critiques, just endless critiques. I wanted to better myself and wanted it to work.
In his brain it was “is she the one? Am I actually attracted to her? Does she look old? Is her skin texture ugly?” Etc
I helped him identify what the intrusive thoughts about me were: ROCD of course. I read a few books. I encouraged him to get in therapy and he did through NOCD. I was supportive and understanding.
But nothing was enough. We went from talking about what we would name our daughter one day and going to see property to design a home together …. To him chipping away at my self esteem and me doing my damnedest to separate the obsessive critique from the man I love.
The more money he made and attention he got for his career, the worse it got too. Has anyone seen an overlap like that?
His final take was “I might want to get married in my mid 40s” We’re both in our 30s.
He said “I still love you but I want to be free”
And it sucks. It really sucks. Rooting for the rest of you going through it.

I have been going thru a tough time lately. I am feeling lost and alone and I can’t seem to find a way out of a circle of feeling okay and feeling severely depressed and it’s been going on for a year now, and that’s where my girlfriend comes in.
My and my girlfriend have been together for 3 years now and it’s been both good and bad like any other relationship. I have not felt all that much love and affection the past year and it’s not getting any better even though I have told her I am feeling that way. In the past year she has started to party a lot which is totally fine but it’s the way she behaves when she is out that is bothering me a lot. She never answers my text and don’t tell me where she is, who she is with or what she is doing and it has been going on a for a while. I have told her many times that I only want her to tell me where she is and who she is with and she says that she understands and wants to get better but nothing changes.
The reason I am wondering if we should breakup is because I feel like she is fuelling my “depression”. I am constantly thinking about her and waiting for her to respond and it’s bothering me a lot when she is out partying. I never really feel that my mind is at ease and I am constantly overthinking every situation and it’s really exhausting. Any tips?