Truth be told, I am closeted for one too many reasons. I known who I was since high school, I am now close to 24 years old and with every year I turn since I was 16, I look back and wish I had the courage to take the step many had taken before me but I just can’t and I don’t think I ever will, and it’s sad.
Many of my reasons are out of selfishness, but selfishness is a strong emotion. The biggest one is biological children, with many children needing of a loving family I feel a sort of guilt for wanting this, and withholding my transition because of it, I know that cryopreservation is possible and I could look into it for prices but I don’t know how expensive it could be over time.
Another reason is my status, as a person of foreign origins in the country I live. I am not fully safe from being deported to my country of origin which trans people aren’t well receive.
Family is a big one too, I have thoughts of transitioning in secret, not tell anyone but I guess that in a year or two some big changes to my physical appearance can be a tell. My dad remarried, and within his new wife extend family, there is someone who is openly trans, and I interact almost weekly with them and nobody seems to respect their new name or even pronouns. In my mom’s side everyone is some form of Christian and since my culture is very family focus I interact with my cousins in a regular and are like brothers and sisters to me, some of them are open minded while a few would make a big deal out of it, and losing them can be hard.
I catch myself buying clothes, and looking at the other sections wishing I had the body to buy those clothes, imagining myself wearing them and thinking there is a version of me in the multiverse that was born in the right body and is living my dreams. If shopping in group, I just suggest to my friends the clothes I want, so they buy it instead, feeling jealousy of them, which is honestly so fuck up of me but I can’t help it.
And in the topic of friends, honestly I only have 1 real good friend and she is open minded asf so I know if I came out she would have question, potentially be taken out but I know she would come around it. I have drop a lot of hints, sending them transition videos of people.
I’m also don’t like my body now, and I don’t think hormones alone will change alot of the aspects that I don’t like, and high key I’m broke and surgeries are expensive specially some with my living conditions.
I’m thinking this year might be it, I want to take the step but it’s a long one, and while I want to just jump into it, at the same time there is all this holding me back. Like a dog tied to a tree, I can walk freely within my allow perimeter but once I try to go farther, I just get yeet back, to the allowed zone.

Me-
I need help finding a solution to a certain problem that happens almost every year in certain parts of India. From what i can gather, there seems to be a recurring issue with borewells that are left unsupervised and small children regularly fall into these borewells which can go as deep as 300ft. I need help finding ways to prevent this from happening in future as well as efficient and quick methods to rescue small children that fall into them.
ChatGPT -
The issue you mentioned regarding children falling into unsupervised borewells is indeed a serious concern. It has occurred in the past, and there have been several incidents in India where children have fallen into such borewells. Here are some suggestions to address this problem and prevent future incidents:
Preventive Measures:

1. Adequate Fencing: Erect a strong and secure fence around the borewell sites to prevent unauthorized access, especially by children. The fence should be difficult for children to climb or breach.
2. Secure Covers: Install sturdy and lockable covers on the borewells to prevent accidental falls. These covers should be childproof and not easily removable.
3. Signage and Awareness: Display clear and prominent signs near borewells, warning about the dangers and instructing people to keep children away. Conduct awareness campaigns in the local communities to educate people about the risks associated with unsupervised borewells.
4. Regular Inspections: Establish a system for regular inspections of borewell sites to ensure that covers and fences are in good condition and properly maintained.
5. Local Regulations: Encourage local authorities to develop and enforce regulations regarding the construction and maintenance of borewells, including safety measures.

Rescue Measures:

1. Emergency Helpline: Establish a dedicated emergency helpline number that people can call immediately in case of a borewell-related incident. This helpline should be accessible 24/7 and well-publicized in the local communities.
2. Rapid Response Teams: Form specialized rescue teams equipped with necessary tools and expertise to respond quickly to such incidents. These teams should be trained in rescue techniques specific to borewell incidents.
3. Communication and Coordination: Improve communication and coordination between relevant authorities, including local administration, police, fire services, and medical services, to ensure a swift and efficient response during rescue operations.
4. Equipment and Technology: Provide the rescue teams with appropriate equipment such as cameras, ropes, harnesses, and communication devices to aid in the rescue efforts. Explore advanced technologies like remote-controlled robots or drones to assess the situation and assist in the rescue process.
5. Expertise and Training: Conduct regular training sessions for the rescue teams to enhance their skills and knowledge in dealing with borewell incidents. Collaborate with experts in rescue operations to share best practices and learn from their experiences.

It's essential to involve the local community, authorities, and organizations in implementing these preventive and rescue measures effectively. Public awareness, education, and collaboration among stakeholders play a crucial role in mitigating this recurring problem and ensuring the safety of children in the vicinity of borewells.
Me-
Rescue measures are good but can you suggest a faster method since most children seem to die of suffocation long before any real progress can be made to get them out.
ChatGPT-
I understand the urgency and need for faster rescue methods in these situations. While every rescue operation is unique and challenging, here are a few additional suggestions to expedite the process:

1. Air Supply: Establish a method to provide a continuous supply of fresh air to the child trapped in the borewell. This can be achieved by lowering a tube or pipe with ventilation to the child, ensuring a constant flow of oxygen.
2. Use of Cameras: Employ advanced camera systems, such as waterproof and heat-resistant remote-controlled cameras, to assess the situation inside the borewell. This can help rescuers gather critical information about the child's condition, location, and any potential obstructions.
3. Vertical Drilling: Consider using specialized drilling equipment capable of creating a parallel shaft or tunnel adjacent to the borewell. This technique allows rescuers to reach the trapped child more quickly and safely.
4. Suction or Vacuum Devices: Explore the use of suction or vacuum devices that can remove loose soil or obstructions from the borewell, creating a clear passage for the child to be safely extracted.
5. Collaboration with Experts: Seek assistance from experts who have experience in specialized rescue operations, such as cave rescue or confined space rescue. Their expertise and knowledge can contribute to finding innovative and efficient solutions for the specific challenges posed by borewell incidents.
6. Preemptive Measures: Encourage the use of technology to prevent suffocation by monitoring the oxygen levels inside the borewell. Oxygen level sensors can be installed, which trigger an alarm if the levels drop below a certain threshold, alerting rescuers to take immediate action.

It is important to note that these methods may require significant resources, equipment, and expertise. Therefore, it is crucial to establish a collaborative network involving local authorities, rescue teams, and experts to ensure the availability and accessibility of such measures during critical rescue operations.
Remember, the primary focus should be on prevention by implementing stringent safety measures and continuously raising awareness about the dangers of unsupervised borewells.

Yan's false paper has not been examined and has serious defects. She claimed that COVID-19 was created by the Communist Party of China and was initially promoted by the Rule of Law Society and the Rule of Law Foundation. Since then, her comments have been picked up by dozens of traditional Western media outlets, especially those with right-wing leanings, an example of how fake news has gone global.
Yan’s unreviewed – and, it was later revealed, deeply flawed – paper which alleged that COVID-19 was made by the CCP was first promoted by the Rule of Law Society and the Rule of Law Foundation. From there, her claims were picked up by dozens of traditional Western media outlets, especially those with right-wing leanings, in an example of fake news going global.
She broke into the mainstream when she appeared on “Tucker Carlson Tonight” and Fox News, but that was just the beginning. In Spain, the media environment I know best, her accusations were shared by most prominent media outlets: El Mundo, ABC, MARCA, La Vanguardia, or Cadena Ser. Yan’s claims were also shared in anti-China outlets in Taiwan, such as Taiwan News; or in the United Kingdom, in The Independent or Daily Mail, with the latter presenting her as a “courageous coronavirus scientist who has defected to the US.” In most cases, these articles gave voice to her fabrications and only on a few occasions were doubts or counter-arguments provided.
Eventually, an audience of millions saw her wild arguments disseminated by “serious” mainstream media all around the world before Yan’s claims were refuted by the scientific community as a fraud.
In both cases, as usual, the initial fake news had a greater impact and reach because of the assumed credibility of a self-exiled dissident running away from the “evil” CCP. Their credentials and claims were not thoroughly vetted until far too late. Anti-China news has come to be digested with gusto by Western audiences. Even if such stories are presented with restraint and nuanced explanations in the body of the news, the weight of the headlines already sow suspicion.
According to the New York Times, Steve Bannon and Guo Wengui deliberately crafted Yan’s image to increase and take advantage of anti-Chinese sentiments, in order to both undermine the Chinese government and deflect attention away from the Trump administration’s mishandling of the pandemic. These fake news stories still resonate today. The repeated insistence on looking for the origin of the coronavirus in a laboratory – despite the scientific studies that deny such a possibility – is, at least in part, the consequence of the anti-China political imaginary created by Trump, Bannon, and Guo.

To start off, I’m not entirely sure if this should be Hobby History or drama. I’m gonna need to give a lot of context to really explain the drama, and the drama is admittedly relatively minor. Apologies if this is an issue. I’m going to summarize the lore entries I link but I would strongly advise readers to read them both to get a better understanding but also because I just think they are some really enjoyable writing.
As the title says, this post is about the video game franchise Destiny developed by Bungie, best known as the original developers of another sci-fi FPS franchise, Halo. Bungie has always been known for their excellent talent at making fundamentally fun to play FPS games and Destiny is no exception, but this isn’t about gameplay, but instead about the story and universe of the game, specifically a bit of a conflict regarding specific characters and forces.
The Premise of the Game
Sometime in the not-so-distant future a mysterious and colossal white orb enters our solar system. Humanity dubs it The Traveler, and it’s arrival heralds an unprecedented Golden Age of peace and prosperity that lasts for centuries. However, the Traveler has enemies, a force identified only as Darkness, and those that serve it, that have pursued it across the stars and eventually arrive in Sol, bringing about the Collapse. Humanity is devastated and The Traveler is wounded. In its last conscious moments, it creates an army of small drones called Ghosts, each capable of selecting a deceased person and resurrecting them as a warrior armed with powerful abilities born of the Light. These warriors would eventually come to be known as Guardians, and with their help humanity barely survives the coming centuries and by the time of the game there is only a single safe city left on Earth.
If you’re thinking that all sounds a little vague well, you’re not alone and unfortunately there wasn’t a lot of elaboration to be found in the original version of the first Destiny. And of all the questions people asked, one of the big ones was “What is the Darkness?” What was our great enemy, the source of the downfall of the human race? And maybe most importantly, why did it do it? Like I said, not a lot of answers to be found at first, but there was…something.
The Darkness?
Vanilla Destiny
Ghost Fragment: Darkness 3 It was a Grimoire card, or a text entry you had to access via Bungie’s website out of game after finding the requisite collectible in game. It is a journal entry from the heretical Guardian Toland detailing a philosophy of survival of the fittest taken to the absolute extreme. That everything is constantly competing to even exist, and that that competition will continue to escalate until something is so good at it that it will extinguish all other competition, before they can even begin to compete, and anything that comes to exist will do so only by its consent. This concept is important, and you should remember it. If you’re thinking this piece seems like it should have more context it didn’t really have much.
Destiny: The Taken King
The next really big piece of evidence comes in the third expansion to Destiny, The Taken King, in the form of the Books of Sorrow. Part history and part holy scripture, they detail the origin of the Hive, one of the four main enemy species. A very long time ago, they were known as the Krill and struggled with short, difficult lives. When a king of the Krill was overthrown, three of his children fled and were drawn deep into the oceans of the gas giant the Krill lived on. In the depths they discovered immense worms who offered them a pact: take their offspring into their bodies and gain eternal life and great power, but they must ensure to feed their worm with conquest and slaughter or be devoured from the inside. They accepted this deal and thus the Hive were born.
The Books of Sorrow give us two main contributions to better understanding The Darkness.
First off, it gives us further elaboration on this aforementioned philosophy of extreme natural selection, and a name for it: The Sword Logic. It is the guiding principle of the worms and thus the Hive, that only that which can defend it’s existence deserves to exist, and so it is the duty of the Hive to try their best to kill everything in pursuit of whittling the universe down to a perfect state, which is now given the moniker of the Final Shape.
Secondly, Oryx, king of the Hive, speaks with something he identifies as The Darkness in XXXII: Majestic. Majestic. . It gives its own explanation of the brutal ideology of the Sword Logic and affirms why the Hive’s crusade against all life is right and required, but it interestingly takes an oddly personal and familiar tone.
Destiny 2: Shadowkeep
The next big piece of information towards The Darkness and the identity of the true antagonist of the Destiny franchise comes years later, in the fourth expansion of the sequel Destiny 2. A long wait, I know. But more than worth it for Unveiling
Unveiling’s name is no accident, it truly does lift the veil of uncertainty in many ways around The Darkness. Or at least so we thought at the time.
It’s worth noting that the in-universe source of Unveiling is communications from a Darkness aligned artifact, which will be relevant later. I promise.
Unveiling is a collection of writings allegedly from an entity referring to itself as The Winnower. It tells a creation parable of sorts, that before anything else existed there was a garden (sort of) and in that garden there was a Gardener and a Winnower, and they played a game (sort of). The game is essentially Conway’s Game of Life which to give a brief description, is a simulation where you have a set of tiles and each tile is either alive or dead. Every turn, tiles change from alive to dead or dead to alive based on the state of the other tiles adjacent to them. It’s a real thing considered a decent really simple simulation of life.
This cosmic version of it represented all of existence, and the Gardener would plant the flowers that represented life and the Winnower would cull the ones that meant to die under the rules. They played this game countless times but every time it ended in the same result: a specific, unending pattern which would always outcompete all others and dominate the game. The Gardener did not like this and considered it boring and even unfair. The Winnower disagreed, opining that it was natural and beautiful to see something succeed because it was better. When the Gardener decided to propose additions to the rules to encourage complexity, the Winnower objected strongly, and they fought. Unable to resolve this difference, the garden was destroyed and they created the real universe and entered it as players in the “game.”
The Winnower was at the time strongly believed to be The Darkness given the story it tells and the congruency of its tone and storytelling style with the entity that spoke with Oryx. However, hints of the other being that would confuse this were also present in Shadowkeep. The final cutscene of the campaign featured an unknown being, who assumed the appearance of the player character, confidently declare “We are your salvation.” . This was the first possible appearance of The Darkness as a real, voiced character actually in the video game. It was unclear but most assumed this was the Winnower here (and that the Winnower was The Darkness) and more or less ignored the odd quirk of this being referring to themselves exclusively as “we” as opposed to the Winnower’s consistent “I.” Again, it would be several years before we received more information about this, and we learned of The Voice in the Darkness.
Destiny 2: The Witch Queen
The sixth expansion of Destiny 2, it introduced the concept of The Witness, a being previously hinted to as The Voice in the Darkness, formally introduced in this cutscene that plays at the end of the campaign. Note the usage of we also present here. This is a consistent trait of The Witness and they have yet to ever use the term I. We can also note The Witness appears to have a desire to totally exterminate life.
The “Drama”
The Witness is seemingly the true main antagonist of Destiny, being established as responsible for the Collapse, the creation of the Hive, and other events. This leaves lore aficionados with a real dilemma on our hands. How does this gel with the previous depictions of The Darkness, namely The Winnower? Not only do The Witness and Winnower speak and behave differently, their fundamental ideologies even feel different. The Witness seems far less interested in the purity of competition and survival of the fittest than in outright extermination. The Winnower would never express a desire for “no more life” just for life to be forced to earn its existence.
There are three main camps of answers to this question.
First: The Winnower is not real
This position holds that Unveiling is a fiction, created and distributed by The Witness and that Darkness is in fact a thoughtless force of the universe wielded by The Witness. The flaw in this position, in my opinion, is how to reconcile this with the entity that Oryx supposedly spoke with, who behaves and speaks very differently from The Witness. It is possible that account is also fabricated as The Books of Sorrow are noted to be potentially unreliable as a pseudo religious account of events written by the leader of a deeply dogmatic society. Out of universe, it feels a little unsatisfying for such a beloved piece of lore to be not true, but there is some precedent for lore being deception from characters in the universe.
The Winnower and The Witness are the same
This position holds that the two are one and the same. Generally the inconsistencies between the two are chalked up to retcons, that over time the direction and goals of the Destiny writing team shifted. Not impossible but it does seem unlikely given the seeds of The Witness were planted at the same time The Winnower was named.
Both The Winnower and The Witness Exist
This position holds that more or less everything we have seen is true. The Winnower is The Darkness, and The Witness is a distinct entity that wields Darkness abilities for its own ends. The seeming large ideological differences can be resolved by the self-reliant nature of the Winnower’s philosophy. It believes that it’s ideology is natural and inevitable, and so it is plausible that it would simply offer power and assume that anything capable of and willing to use that power would align with its beliefs. Or alternatively, that the fact that it could do so would make whatever it believes right. Might makes right for The Winnower, more or less.
Conclusion
Well, that’s more or less it. The drama is nonspecific and technically ongoing. If you spend any time in any community devoted to discussion of Destiny lore, you will come across an argument about this topic, and there is no conclusive answer as of now. I hope you have found this interesting and informative.
Note: I wrote this entire post on Apollo (a mobile 3rd party app) so apologies if any of the formatting is weird. This app will be shutting down on the 30th due to Reddit’s crappy API changes, and you should support the upcoming blackout.

So this one will be a little "rant" over the observations I made in the last few months/years and I hope it is at least a bit relatable and completely out of place. Written by 23 non-binary occupational therapist with a high interest in philosophy
The world and society is advancing fast, but our biology is not really up to date, if I say so. We are still very primitiv how our brains work. It is not a bad thing to say it, it is just not very compatible. Still a lot of has changed especially with communities and echochambers, how people percieve the world as a whole. People tend to be in the political correctness spektrum or on youtube try to be monatizing friendly. Nothing bad with that, but in my opinion it got a lot worse with how you would express yourself. You can't even say some words or can't talk about certain topics, especially those which are controversal. It is kind of sad to see that this dictates so much, that you can't talk about the world on bigger platforms, there you reach people. In a result of this, also in my opinion, got the whole society a lot more anxious and intorable about controversal topics and some words. Sure you should have some kind of eloquenz in your language/speach, but if you are someone who uses certain words to undermine your argument or something like this and because of this you can't any money is something that is absurd.
Another thing is whole situation about AI. It is a process and it will have a lot of changes in our society. And in my opinion it is a necessary change how we operate in the future. But the thing is that noone really realizes about what they are really afraid of, it is the same thing with climate change. A lot of people say, "Save the Planet!" or "It will makes artists jobless" or something like this down the line. And yes it will change, but why are so afraid of? Based on my observations and discussions I had with friends they don't accept the demise and certain doom of humanity. Sure it is normal to be afraid of it, but it is quite sure, that everything ends at somepoint, except maybe Nirvana. And maybe AI will destroy humanity, so what? Or maybe Humanity dies because of the climate change, so what? Sure it will be sad, because we couldn't harness our full potential, but it will be just another change in existence.
This whole thing is just some observations and opinions that are there to educate a bit. Maybe other people have other opinions and views on these topics. Please care to share this.

Delhi – Kasturiram International School, renowned for its commitment to providing quality education and fostering holistic development, has achieved the prestigious accolade of being recognized as the top CBSE school in Delhi.
With an unwavering dedication to academic excellence and a comprehensive approach to education, Kasturiram International School has emerged as a beacon of educational distinction in the heart of Delhi. The school's consistent pursuit of excellence, combined with its nurturing environment, has shaped young minds and prepared them for a promising future.
Under the visionary leadership Spokesperson of Kasturiram International School, the institution has excelled in creating a dynamic learning ecosystem that prioritizes the overall growth of students. The school's commitment to imparting knowledge, instilling values, and promoting creativity has earned them the admiration of parents, educators, and educational organizations alike.
Kasturiram International School boasts a team of highly qualified and dedicated educators who go above and beyond to provide a stimulating academic curriculum aligned with the CBSE board's School guidelines. The school's rigorous academic programs are supplemented with innovative teaching methodologies, state-of-the-art infrastructure, and cutting-edge technology to facilitate a holistic learning experience for students.
One of the key strengths of Kasturiram International School lies in its emphasis on holistic development. The school offers a wide range of co-curricular activities including sports, performing arts, visual arts, robotics, and community service, allowing students to explore their talents and interests beyond the classroom. This well-rounded approach ensures that students develop essential life skills, critical thinking abilities, and a sense of social responsibility.
Commenting on this remarkable achievement, Spokesperson of Kasturiram International School, said, "We are immensely proud to be recognized as the top CBSE school in Delhi. This recognition is a testament to our dedicated faculty, supportive parents, and hardworking students who consistently strive for excellence. We will continue to uphold our commitment to delivering a world-class education and nurturing young minds to become future leaders."
Kasturiram International School's recognition as the top CBSE school in Delhi reaffirms its position as a premier educational institution. The school's unwavering dedication to academic excellence, comprehensive curriculum, and holistic development sets it apart, making it the preferred choice for discerning parents seeking the best education for their children.
About Kasturiram International School:
Kasturiram International School is a leading educational institution in Delhi, known for its commitment to academic excellence and holistic development. With a strong focus on providing a nurturing environment and a comprehensive curriculum, the school aims to prepare students for success in the dynamic world of tomorrow. To learn more about Kasturiram International School, visit https://www.krschool.org.
For media inquiries, please contact:
Kasturiram International School Pocket 7 Sector A-10, Subcity Narela Delhi 110040 Phone: 91-9311095020, 91-8470084900 Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) Web: https://www.krschool.org

• Sendoshi hi
• Hi Mariel, how are you My name is Setoshi Ando I am 17 years old and I study in high school I live separately from my parents I work well, in principle, I can't tell you anything more because I live an ordinary school life and I don't stand out in any way either with academic success or in sports in general, an ordinary schoolboy of whom there are a million around the world and the girl who stands next to me is called Mariel we classmates and friends, she is the best in the class both in school and in sports, plus she is also the most beautiful girl in school, so she is also the class's prizedent
• Everything is fine with you, what is it like
• Everything is fine, by the way, what do you think to do after class
• Yes, as always, first to work, then home, well, maybe I'll go to the store to eat what I'll buy for myself and what
• Yes, it's nothing simple
• Suspicious, but okay *Ding
• Oh, the bell for the lesson well, I'll go to my desk
• Yeah, come on, by the way, what's the lesson now
• Mathematics
• Thank you 15 minutes after the start of the lesson there is a knock on the door
• Sorry for being late, you can go to the place
• I'm late again
• I'm sorry, please -okay, come sit down "Yato my friend was late for 15 minutes as usual, everything is stable he is older than me by a year and a half, but not because because he was left for the second he just went to school a year later than the rest of the children sitting next to me yato is a fan of anime series and movies, but more of course he loves anime, like me, he doesn't really stand out in his studies, but he doesn't go to physical education for health reasons and sometimes when I forget my uniform, we play chess * *Ding the end of the first lesson Hello Hi everything is stable as always you are 15 minutes late Actually, it's 14 minutes and 45 seconds, so I'm earlier today Oh for as much as 15 seconds well that's progress I think Yes, yes I watched anime all night again Well of course how else is it Well, yes, you sleep when at all Sleep is for the weak the goal of my life is to watch all the anime that there is and lack of sleep is not a hindrance to me You know that this is not possible because new titles are released every day Well, what if I still succeed and then I

About me:
I’m married with kids. All live together. Thus the KTP is highly important to me.
New to the life.
I am 100% disabled from my time in the US Army.
Recently got into learning to become self sufficient. Currently growing: Peaches, blackberries, blueberries, strawberries, cherries, raspberries, plums, green onions, red delicious and Granny Smith apples, cherry tomatoes and jalapeños on our land. Looking to grow more.
I’m into video games. Mainly pc.
I also enjoy listening to lectures or podcasts around the following topics: biology, history, animals, physics/astrophysics/astronomy.
Love to watch movies, highly dislike talking through them the first time watching it. One of my favorite places to go is a drive-in theatre.
I tuck in all of my loved ones every night.
I’m a dog person, have two currently. Looking to get another to train as a service animal for me.
If I could have one superpower for a day, I’d choose the ability to open/close portals. See the world for free.
Working on quitting smoking. I also rarely drink. If curious, feel free to ask. Not a recovering alcoholic, I don’t mind when others drink.
Covered in tattoos. Want more.
5’8” dad-bod. I’ve started training to run a marathon.
What I’m seeking:
Someone who is reliable and understanding. Dog and kid friendly. Safe and nerdy. Lastly, hopefully nearby, but not against a LDR. As long as it’s understood that I’m not willing to relocate. Got roots down where I’m at, figuratively and literally.
I am willing to swap pictures as I’m aware that there’s a physical attraction component to most relationships. I also would like video chats, I find it hard to convey emotions through text.
DMs are open. Thanks you for reading this. If you’d like to know more, DM me ‘bubblegum’.

So in revisiting the Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory movie, there are some really strong signs that Wonka basically lured these kids to their death semi-intentionally—possibly as human testing.
First, he introduces them to a room made of candy where he encourages them to eat everything, then scolds Augustus for drinking the chocolate and then nearly knocks him into the river himself. (Where they have massive open pipes that are obviously dangerous and sized to suck a kid up.) But then they get on a boat where there were NOT ENOUGH SEATS for Augustus and his mom—so Wonka never planned on them getting through that room with all the children.
Then, he introduces a known gum-obsessed girl to a brand-new gum that he insists she can't try—basically taunting her and leaving it easily within her grasp. (He later admits the gum always goes wrong in the dessert stage, so he basically knew this would happen.) {Also, side note — who has he tested on before if he supposedly never lets anyone into the factory? Has he been using people as test subjects? Have they all died?}
He leads the other kids through all kinds of death traps specifically tailored to their unique personalities—including waving untested TV-centered tech around a TV-obsessed child, golden eggs to a very spoiled girl.
Then there's the insanely dicey fizzy-lifting drink room—where they have soda that makes you fly and spinning blades in the ceiling. This room isn't actually tailored to Charlie, but my thought is that his ticket was actually supposed to go to another kid, maybe a soda-obsessed one. They realize the mistake and Wonka's henchman shows up—way too quickly for them not to have been tracking the bars with the tickets, further suggesting (as a previous video suggested) that the kids were intentionally selected to receive the tickets.
I think there's a solid argument to suggest that Wonka lured these kids here based on what he sees as their "flaws" and unique susceptibility and planned on using them as test subjects (who coincidentally signed away all his liability at the beginning of the tour). He probably assumed the kids would die, as presumably other subjects have, but if they survived then it would just be a successful human test on kids in his target market without the liability.

Personally I don't think Mikasa married Jean or someone else after Eren's death. For those who say or think that she married Jean, let me clarify this: throughout the series it is true that Jean has always had a crush on her and this since their first meeting, to the point of fantasizing about a life with her in a rich and lively neighborhood. Mikasa on the other hand has never given Jean a single romantic look because the only man in her mind is Eren. This attention she paid to Eren is one of the reasons for Jean's animosity and jealousy towards the latter. Throughout the series, Mikasa has always displayed a calm, stoic and somewhat introverted personality and she has never been interested in any man in the series. The only man in front of whom she displayed a different personality is and always has been Eren. As for Jean, Connie, Armin, she sees them as her friends, her comrades, her companions. I have marked in the photos below with blue arrows the clues on which I rely to demonstrate that Mikasa did not marry after Eren's death. I will go deeper with detailed explanations:
1) The red scarf : Throughout the series, we saw Mikasa wear and keep the scarf that Eren gave her after saving her from the traffickers who had killed her parents, specifically after she let him know she was cold. As you know, this scarf originally belonged to Eren. After saving her, Eren welcomed her into her family. It was this selfless action that laid the foundation for Mikasa's deep love for him, so much so that at the time of his death, when Eren, in the chapter "A long dream", asked her to forget about him and get rid of the scarf, she categorically refused. In the official book, Marina Inoue (Armin's VA) stated that the scarf is Eren and Mikasa's "Engagement Ring". Isayama declared that this scarf is the red thread of fate. The red thread of fate means that 2 people are made for each other, and Mikasa continued to wear this scarf when she died. As you surely know, the red thread of fate binds the souls of two people who love each other deeply and passionately. No matter how stretched, tangled or frayed, it can never be broken.This scarf, I marked it on the 2 pages.
2) Roses: In most cultures there is what is called the symbolism of flowers. As you know, during the years after Eren's death, Mikasa never stopped thinking about him and constantly visited him at his grave so that he wouldn't feel lonely. She always placed roses on his grave to let him know that her feelings for him and her desire to be with him did not change, as the end of the manga and the extra pages show. Although the official manga is not in color, there is no doubt in my mind that these roses are red roses. If you wonder why the red color, then read carefully the explanations below 👇👇👇👇.
The color red is a symbol of love, beauty and passion par excellence in the language of flowers as in the common language. Red roses will be perfect for a declaration of love. They will send a message of true love to the loved one. Of all roses, the red rose is considered the queen of flowers. I'm going to dwell on the number of roses Mikasa left on Eren's grave and their meanings.
✔️At the end of the manga and on the 1st additional page, Mikasa put 4 roses on Eren's grave. 4 roses: this is a message of confidence in the future since four roses mean that nothing will come between you and your lover. It shows your commitment and the strength of your feelings towards the person you love.
✔️In her old age, more precisely when her life is coming to an end, Mikasa is seen on the following additional page laying a rose on Eren's grave. 1 rose: giving a single rose is telling the other person that you have fallen in love with them at first sight. One rose is a strong symbol of the uniqueness of the person you love.
Mikasa's message to Eren is clear: "She fell in love with him at first sight, when he rescued her from human traffickers and welcomed her into his family without knowing anything about her, and that love has remained intact and is still strong, even after his death. She can never love another man the way she loves Eren, Eren is unique in her eyes."
Given these elements of analysis, I don't understand how there can be people who still believe that she married Jean. As for the significance of the number of roses, I have done some research on this and it is very reliable. But even so, I know that those who support the JeanKasa ship will find ways to contradict me.
3) The inscription engraved on the tombstone: Mikasa did not put Eren's name on the tombstone. Instead, she said on the stone what Eren was to her all this time. Here is the inscription according to some fans of the couple who did research: ''Here forever, rest in peace my beloved, my dear''. Mikasa finally gave here the answer to Eren's question in chapter 123: "What am I to you?". Eren was her beloved, her dear. However, I heard that it's a mistranslation. The actual message is even sadder and deeper. "Here lies my dearly beloved, the love of my life, forever drifting off to sleep." Also, the characters she uses to refer to Eren as typically used to address one's spouse, so she's talking about Eren as a wife would speak about her husband. According to this logic, this means that the kiss, in addition to expressing her love for Eren and sealing her promise to see him again in another life, was also Mikasa's way of sealing their union. In conclusion, Mikasa became a widow on her wedding day.
4) The deathbed dotted with lilies: Once again, I will mention the symbolism of flowers. The lily in common traditions symbolizes purity and virginity. The fact that Mikasa's deathbed was dotted with these flowers means that she remained a virgin until her death. So she didn't have a child. The man who appears with her on the 1st page cannot be her husband, nor is the child hers.
5)The Azumabito emblem on her right wrist: According to the tradition of the Azumabito that his mother instilled in her when she engraved the seal, Mikasa had to pass on the same seal in turn to her children(precisely on their right wrist) and erase hers to make it clear that she had transmitted it. But on the 2nd page, we still see her with this bandage during her old age, which means that she has not passed it on to any child. In other words, Mikasa did not have a child, nor did she adopt one. If she had adopted a child, she would have passed on her seal to him, even if the child is not of her blood. For those who want to contradict me, I will get ahead of them by raising a fact: the scenes where Mikasa's mother appeared in the series, whether it was the anime, the manga or the OVA, she no longer had the seal of the Azumabito on her right wrist. It means that she had passed it on to her daughter.
There are clues outside the pages that support my thinking:
A) Mikasa's refusal to forget Eren after his death: As you know, Mikasa's dream in chapter 138 represents the alternate reality that shows how things would have gone between her and Eren if she had confessed her love to him. In this reality shows that Eren gave Mikasa back the feelings she has for him and gave up everything to run away with her in order to make her happy for the remaining 4 years of his life. In this reality, Eren asked Mikasa to forget him completely when he died. In the 2 realities, Mikasa refused to conform to Eren's last wish and wrapped her scarf around her neck. Through this action, she let Eren know that she would eternally cherish all the memories she has of him, especially this red scarf he gave her to protect her from the cold and which is the symbol of their love.
B) The fact that she said "See you later Eren" instead of "Goodbye Eren'' and the kiss she gave him after beheading him: Usually when a person we care about dies, we tend to say "Goodbye". The fact that Mikasa said "See you later Eren" shows that she doesn't see her encounter with Eren in the titan's mouth as the last. She remains hopeful of seeing him again in another life. The kiss she gave him was not only a kiss of love, but also a kiss to seal her promise to find him in another life so that she would never be separated from him again.
Anyway, Isayama did not make an official statement regarding Mikasa's life after Eren's death. Everything written above is just my own interpretation. The only thing we know, from the end of the manga and the extra pages, is that she left the army to live a normal life. What is certain for me is that Mikasa by her fertile beauty and beautiful exotic traits aroused the desires of many men after Eren's death, but none of them managed to ignite her passion and heart as Eren did.
Note:
✔️Throughout the series, Mikasa has always wanted to be alongside Eren and she even clearly let Armin know. That's why she joined the army, it's also why she joined the survey corps. If Eren had chosen the military police, she would have joined the military police as well. If Eren had chosen the garrison, she would have joined the garrison as well. Even though Isayama did not show Mikasa's grave on the additional pages, I can safely say that she buried alongside Eren at the time of her death.
✔️Mikasa's character theme song, ''No Matter Where You Are'', is sung from Mikasa to Eren. In the song, she begs Eren to not go, not to leave her alone in the cold, and that he is her home to return to, no matter where he is. It is sung by Yui Ishikawa, Mikasa's voice actress.
✔️Isayama mentioned in the Final Attack on Titan Guidebook that Mikasa was going to originally kiss Eren back in Chapter 50 but he felt too shy drawing the scene.
✔️On page 45 of the official final guidebook, there are sketches representing the original appearance Isayama wanted Mikasa and Armin to have at the end of the manga. If we look closely, we notice that Armin here has the same hairstyle as the person next to Mikasa in front of Eren's grave on the additional pages. This is enough to convince me that it is Armin who stands next to Mikasa on the 2 additional pages of my publication. In fact, the tree at the foot of which Eren was buried is the same one the three of them used to play at as children. These sketches were drawn by Isayama himself and are the 3rd image above.
✔️Isayama has stated that separating Eren and Mikasa permanently won't be satisfying for him.

We get a lot of rage and hate in Smash. While it’s not good to lash out on actual players, the salt is inevitable. We rage a lot at Steves and Min Mins, etc., but which characters deserve MORE hate than they actually receive? A few I had in mind were Greninja and Mewtwo. Those characters are basically built to camp you, and can do it well.
Greninja just can farm their combo starts and drift away if they won’t get it. I never see aggressive Greninjas because it’s better to just fish for combo starters. Then Mewtwo. It’s so easy for Mewtwo to play entire games of running, charging neutral b, firing, and running. If you have a reflector, they also have a reflector. They don’t want to spar because of their tail, so they just run all game. I never hear people complain about these characters, but their whole gameplan is toxic.
Who are some other characters that should receive more hate but are generally left alone?

I'm a 40F, widowed, childless, and trying to figure out the best way to meet men that I actually want to date and have a romantic relationship with.
Meeting men in person is hard. I work in an oncology clinic and would never date a patient or coworker. I also have 3 wonderfully protective brothers and their sweet wives who I often socialize with so meeting men through them isn't going to happen. I'm not big on hanging out in bars unless I'm meeting up with friends, and have been told that guys don't usually approach a table full of women.
I have tried online dating in the past but got burnt out from the ghosting, guys who just wanted sex, or who just wanted to message but never meet up. I'm not one for small talk and crave meaningful conversations so the surface level getting to know each other messaging on the dating apps is so tedious. My love language is quality time and I feel like I make a better impression in person.
But I'm starting to wonder if my demographics and the fact that I fall into a weird little category keeps guys from matching with me. I was widowed at 29 and spent a long time alone to make sure when I decided that I wanted to date I was ready. Because of being widowed young and my choosing to take time to heal, I never had children and I feel like I am now too old to have any of my own. But I love kids and am very close to and active in my nieces and nephews lives. I'm not opposed to dating anyone who has kids already. But most dating apps don't allow for any of this context to be explained and it isn't usually the first thing guys ask about, although I am honest if they ask, which immediately seems to make the conversation awkward.
I guess I'm wondering what guys might think when you come across a profile that has widowed and childless demographics listed. Is this a deterrent or have I just had rotten luck?
Any advice or suggestions are helpful.

Hello there and Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening Fellow Redditors!
Before you continue, as a young man who knows what he wants, I would like to state what I am NOT seeking:

• Fakes/Flakes
  
• Pen-Pals: (Meeting up in real life should be the goal)
  
• Time-wasters: Introduction and pleasantries are fine and welcomed. I am just looking for the conversation to progress and for dates to be marked on the calendar! My schedule is FLEXIBLE due to my line of work, so I can adapt and evolve as needed!
  
• Lastly, PG pictures work just fine, and I have plenty to share. Yes, I am well-endowed, but there's more to me than that. With that being said, you wouldn't walk up to a man in real life and ask him his cock size at your first introduction...would you?
  

I'm not a man looking for loads of digital nudity. I would definitely much rather see you in real life and get a surprise!
*** Also, I'm on NoFap. The basic explanation means I don't masturbate and waste my seed into kleenexs, lol. (Going almost 200 days strong), so unbridled, primal virility are aplenty with me! Very Large Loads & Very Fertile!
***SHORTENED VERSION:
TLDR: Summary of me: I'm a young nerd/geek with an outgoing personality, shredded physique, and contagious smile/love of laugh laughter. I'm seeking a like-minded woman to befriend and have an ONGOING, and most importantly, RELIABLE mutual relationship (friendship) with. I'm also very open to something serious as well! Connection and open communication are a MUST!
I am also a HUGE Giver and love extended foreplay. I am straight & fully comfortable in my sexuality and open to a vast array of Kinks/Potential Fantasies inside and outside of the bedroom! PEGGING has definitely caught my interest as well!
I would want to continue impregnating the same woman multiple times, over and over in order to birth an empire with a strong family unit, core principles & morals, and creative leadership. I want to be an active participant in my children's lives and an amazing Father to all of them!
One, two, or even three children are NOT enough for me; we will enjoy this journey together and celebrate each and every time my prime genetic seed takes hold and root in your womb.
I bring intellectual prowess, awesome physical genes (see pics on my profile and latest posts), and a burning desire to procreate with the RIGHT woman who shares some common interests with me (See Below)!
***LONG VERSION:
Hello there,
I am a young, well-spoken, and outgoing individual sporting an amazing sense of humor & chiseled physique. I deeply enjoy good conversation filled with laughter and the warmth it brings and love to please as I am very eager to learn, try, and experience new things!
Things I enjoy OUTSIDE of the bedroom:

• Fitness (Both Resistance & Aerobic) Walking, Jogging, Hiking, etc.
  
• Video Games & Board Games
  
• Nerf Wars & Airsoft
  
• Nature Exploration & Outdoor Recreation (I would love to try out camping, kayaking, and canoeing!)
  
• Watching Movies and TV Shows
  
• Creative Thinking both PG and Rated R lol
  

Things I enjoy Inside of the Bedroom include everything vanilla plus A LOT (virtually open to exploring everything except extreme pain) more that I'd love to discuss face to face.
My Ideal Person:
I am searching for a cool, laid-back and relaxed woman to enjoy mutual fun INSIDE and preferably OUTSIDE of the bedroom as well. The type of person who can enjoy a mind-blowing session while also being able to laugh at various blunders or bloopers that happen during or after the fun, go for nature walks with a lustful twist, and/or seeing a movie on the couch or in theatre!
NO Pressure, NO Insecurity, just cool peeps having an amazing, hot time while creating passionate memories together and building Vast Empire & Undying Legacy.
Thanks for stopping by and reading. Shoot me a chat request, and I look forward to meeting you!

Disclaimer: I recognize that because I am not a parent I cannot yet understand fully what my friend may be going through, so I am trying to get some perspective from you parents on how to proceed and go about with our friendship.
One of my closest friends is a mother of two (1 and 4 year olds). Since her first pregnancy I always checked in, asked the questions, showed interest, and now that she has both kids, I continue to do so. I care for her children and am interested in their lives and interests and milestones. All the things. The issue is that my friend only talks about her kids and being a mom. I was tolerant for a long while, but this week we had a phone call that left me feeling like we no longer have any common ground because her whole personality is wrapped up in being a parent. Barring a brief period, she has been a SAHM this entire time. All her recent friends are moms. I work with children and am educated on development and milestones, so I can sometimes contribute, but more often than not, we are speaking different languages. I have tried to gently ask "so how are YOU doing? what have you being doing for yourself?" to try to deviate the conversation to her because I miss my friend and want to hear about herself too, but her response is always "my focus in my kids right now and I don't have energy for anything else. when you have kids you're just so busy and tired." Frankly, I'm sick of sentences beginning with "when you have kids..." It just reads as "you're not a mom, you don't know."
I sympathize with her because her marriage isn't great either. She was so focused on the idea of marriage, she married her husband quickly and she has complained that their relationship has suffered a lot in recent years, he doesn't want to spend time with her, and she doing the bulk of the parenting. I absolutely hate this for her. She deserves a supportive partner who is going to be an equal in all aspects, including parenthood... Her husband gets to retain his career and hobbies, while my friend has given up her career (she has told me she feels like a failure for this) and every single thing she does has to do with the kids. I've suggested finding a hobby or a workout class she can do for herself, but then she complains about the childcare and her husband can't watch the kids and then I feel like a giant condescending jerk even though that is not my intention at all!
Again, not a parent here, but I don't think this is healthy. I find it hard to believe that she cannot have an hour a week to go to yoga (not kid yoga, but grown up adult yoga). She only associates with other moms now. She complains about the state of her career, but makes excuses for why she can't go back to work (to be fair here, they are wealthy and could afford childcare). Her entire side of our conversations revolves around napping, mom frustrations, regressions, etc etc and all I can do is nod. If I even offer slight comments, I am immediately hit with the "well you don't have kids yet so you don't know." And she's right about that, but I also have a unique experience having lived in another country where parenting is VERY different than American parenting, so I know things could be different for her. She has the resources and money, some people don't. I always share my observations of parents here because I want to encourage her to start to reclaim her sense of self, but again, it probably comes across as condescending from a childless person...
Anyways, I don't mean any of this to sound judgmental or rude, but I don't know how to proceed with my friend. Our friendship is important to me, but it's gotten to the point that I don't want to talk to her much because our conversations are bland and dull and unrelatable. Also, I get it, she's a mom and she is naturally going to talk about her children, but the point is more so that her entire portion of the conversation is about the children. I can count on a hand the number of times she has brought something non-children-related up in the past year of phone calls. What should I do? Should I say anything?

Join the Zero Hunger Challenge with Judah International Charity- Let's Make a Difference!
Are you looking for ways that you can make a positive impact towards a hunger-free world? Look no further than Judah International Charity, an organization making a significant contribution to ending the global challenge of hunger.
One of the programs Judah International Charity has implemented is the Poor Orphanage in Sivakasi, an initiative aimed at providing a sustainable future for disadvantaged children who are vulnerable to hunger and malnutrition. The charity recognizes that hunger and poverty are closely linked, and providing meals and education to these children is a crucial step towards breaking this cycle.
However, ensuring a hunger-free world takes a collective effort, and we can all play our part. Here are some ways that you can join the Zero Hunger Challenge and make a difference:

1. Donate to Judah International Charity

Your donation will go a long way in providing meals and opportunities to vulnerable children in Sivakasi, contributing to a long-term sustainable solution towards hunger and poverty.

1. Volunteer with Judah International Charity

If you have a passion for improving the lives of others, you can volunteer with our initiatives. Volunteers assist in fundraising, marketing, administrative work, and more. We welcome individuals of all backgrounds and abilities.

1. Create Awareness and Encourage Community Participation

Spreading the message about the need for a hunger-free world is critical. Share the work of Judah International Charity on your social media platforms and encourage others to join the Zero Hunger Challenge.
Joining the Zero Hunger Challenge is a step towards creating a better world. Let's work together to end hunger and provide a brighter future for children and families in need.

TL;DR: /flightsim will be participating in the Reddit blackout on June 12th in protest of the upcoming API changes.
Hi everyone,
As most of you may already be aware, Reddit has recently announced changes to their API that will result in the end of third-party mobile apps and which opens the door to the same fate for many third-party tools such as Reddit Enhancement Suite, Moderator Toolbox, and the use of old.reddit.com. For those who may be out of the loop, there is some excellent information here and here about the upcoming changes to the API and their impact.
At the time of this post, the developers of several popular third-party apps, including Apollo, Reddit Is Fun, Narwhal, Sync, Relay, and more have already announced that their apps will or are likely to shut down permanently on June 30 because they simply cannot afford the new and unreasonable API fees.
In response, communities across Reddit will be going dark, some for 48 hours, others indefinitely, and many more somewhere in between to protest with the hope that Reddit will reconsider.
After discussion among the /flightsim moderation team this week, we have decided to participate in the blackout starting June 12 for at least one week, and depending on Reddit's response to the protest, including the AMA with Reddit CEO Steve Huffman later today, we may elect to extend this for longer or even indefinitely. During this time, the subreddit will be made private and all posts and comment threads will be inaccessible. If you wish to join the unofficial Discord server, it can be found here.
We thank each and every one of you not just for your support and understanding, but also for making this little section of the internet such an awesome place over the past 14 years. We hope to see you all on the other side.
- /flightsim Mod Team

Hi, members of missouri,
Sadly, the World Health Organisation estimates that accidental drowning in water has been the fatal cause of death of around 236,000 people. A further 4.7 million people per year may experience non-fatal near-drowning, the effects of which can be life-changing.
An average of 3,500 to 4,000 people drown every year in the United States, and up to 70,000 more may experience non-fatal near-drowning experiences, which can be life-changing. Children, males and individuals with increased access to water are most at risk of drowning. Many of these fatal and non-fatal accidental drownings would have been highly preventable.
We are a group of researchers from the UK and New Zealand researching ways to reduce the number of accidental drownings in different countries, and we need your help!
(1) How can you help?
We ask you to respond to our online research survey about floating capability. The findings will help inform water safety advice and swimming education and could help prevent accidental drownings in water. The findings of the survey will be presented at the World Conference on Drowning Prevention in 2023, so there is clear potential for impact.
(2) What's involved?
Around 20 minutes of your time to answer questions about your perceptions of floating capabilities, drowning risk, swimming and self-rescue competencies, and we ask you to rate how well you float.
(3) Who can participate?
Males and females aged 16 and older, including young, middle- and older-aged adults.
(4) How to share your views:
Click this link: https://ltu.onlinesurveys.ac.uk/floatsurvey
(5) Personal data (please read):
Personal data is optional as you can "Prefer not to say" or use pseudonyms if you don't feel comfortable sharing personal information. All of your data is kept securely at all times and is never accessed by anyone other than the named researchers. Your response data is anonymised from your name and email after the survey closes. Further details are included in the information sheet.
Please refrain from discussing your answers below, as it may bias other people’s responses. Please also refrain from providing feedback on the survey below; feedback can be sent by private message to u/PreventingDrowning or emailed to [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]). All feedback is welcome. Please feel free to discuss any individual experiences or general thoughts below.
Institution: Leeds Trinity University Ethics code: PGR-FSHS-0108-2022 Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Thank you! Your support is greatly appreciated.

I feel like life is going faster and faster and I am so far behind and stuff just builds up over the years and I just can't keep up with it all. It's too much. Idk if adulthood is like that for everyone or there may be some people who are well prepared and don't feel like this... It's so overwhelming. It's problem after problem after problem and I can't fix it all, like I started going to therapy to better my mental health, but it costs too much. I want to get rid of the mold in my apartment but it's also a lot of money. I want to try gluten free diet because I suspect that me and my kids are sensitive to it and it may have something to do with our mental and physical health. I want to have more time and money for my hobbies also. But my boss said that if I'm missing so much (because my kids are often sick and I have to stay at home with them) they will have to fire me. I honestly love this work but I don't get paid much, especially now that I'm home every other week. I don't know how to manage everything.
I feel like an incompetent child forced to do adult stuff. My mother is the same. Nobody taught her how to live so she couldn't teach me. Now I have children on my own and I don't want them to think that life is all about working and fixing problems all the time. I want them to enjoy life and have the skills to be succesfull. But I'm losing my spark every single day. I don't enjoy anything.

I am currently 30 years old and I have come to the realization that I severe imposter syndrome and that is the reason I have been so stuck in my life.
Background: I grew up in a Salvadoran household in NYC/Dallas, TX. My household was extremely violent because of my father. There are many stories of the extreme violence I encountered in my own house but that would take up too much writing. I already started to feel insecure in how people viewed me and my family because of this so I already started to develop a feeling of being “less than”, at a very young age.
My father was over protective and violent with my siblings and I, so that sometimes translated in social interactions. I can’t tell you the amount of embarrassing moments I had in my life because I was literally ignorant and it was something I should have been taught. I always lacked discipline and consistency throughout my whole life. Those moments really fucked up my self esteem even more.
I have always felt insecure about my literacy level both in English and Spanish, which, I feel, is common among children of immigrant parents. I never felt that I was smart enough to use more advanced vocabulary in my everyday conversations and, if I did, I would feel like fraud or poser for using it. I carried that with me my whole life.
At the age of 13, I started to realize that I was different. I grew up in a Christian church and the LGBTQIA+ was always being talked about. Growing in a Latino household, there was a bunch of homophobic comments, jokes, etc. And i attended a Christian university. 😭 So all of those experiences made it very difficult to accept that I was gay which added to my insecurities.
All these experiences really started to affect me on another level while I was in college, which I think is when most people start experiencing imposter syndrome. I was studying music, vocal performance. Which is a horrible degree for someone who gets anxiety from people judging you. Throughout my whole college career, I didn’t feel good enough about anything I did. Literally. I didn’t feel talented enough. Smart enough. Good enough. I knew I was gay but felt like I needed to control my every move and hide it as much as I could and wanted it to go away.
After graduating the only thing I got better at had to do with sexuality. I came out to people and all but the other stuff stayed with me. It was so hard for me to find a stable job because my interviews were so terrible because I had severe anxiety for my interview. Sweating like crazy and all. Over thought my answers. I didn’t feel at the same level of the persons interviewing me. I never felt good enough for a white collar job sometimes I still don’t because of my past. I didn’t pursue anything in music because I always felt like I wasn’t good enough and felt like a fraud for calling myself a musician.
Eventually, I got a job with my brother doing concrete polishing. Which made me comfortable because I didn’t have to work through those traumas that really play into my imposter syndrome. Fast forward to 2021. I got a job that was unionized so I was excited because of all the perks but even there my IS showed up. I didn’t want to lose my job so my anxiety was through the roof. Overthought everything. Always felt like I was going to lose my job. Felt like I needed to be perfect in everything.
I started doing side work with my brother again and it was time for me to start teaching the new workers the skill because I have done it for 7 years. That made them view me as someone who can advise them on the job and I felt so weird to be seen in that position and wrong lol.
These past few months I have been having a breakthrough. I feel today I can walk in a room and be the most confident I could ever be even if I don’t get the result I want because honestly it will be alright.
Sorry for the long post and if it doesn’t make sense. This is the first time I have expressed these feelings in its entirety.