A little about me: 22 years old, 5’10 and in good shape. Half English and Greek with Mediterranean features.
I work in a remote sales job which I really like.
You can find me working out, playing video games or listening to some music.
I have a good sense of humour and often make dad jokes well beyond my years!
I’ve had a few girlfriends around my age, but I’ve always wanted to meet an older woman which I haven’t done until now (I’m currently single)
I’m looking for something without too much pressure and expectation, but if we’re a good fit for each other then I’m open to it becoming something longer term.
Hope to hear from you!

Hi guardians, 1 question, I dont have the Lightfall DLC and currently I have this DLC on sale for 72 peruvian soles (19 dolars), let me hear your opinions on the DLC, is it worth it?

TL;DR - If you're familiar with or have been to southern Utah, then you may have been to Sand Hollow or Sand Mountain in St. George, UT. There's a land swap proposed between the BLM and a land developer that would trade 1050 acres of BLM land for 89 acres the land developer currently owns. If you have time, please submit a public comment via email to blm_ut_sgfo_[email protected] and express your concerns.
The Issue:
BLM and the Washington County Water Conservancy District have proposed a land exchange that would involve swapping 1050 acres of the Western Edge of Sand Mountain near Warner Valley with 89 acres of land in Washington near Green Springs, apparently owned by His Family/Brennan. Washington County is designated as the Facilitator of the Exchange. You can learn more at the BLM E Planning website, EplanningUi (blm.gov). You can also see the Public Scoping Notice which is attached.
We also obtained plans by the City of Washington to annex much of the acquired area into their City, which may be a significant influence in the exchange.
The proposed action just entered the Public Scoping phase, which is scheduled to conclude at 5:00 PM on April 13, 2023. UPLA, DRATS, Mayor Nanette Billings (Hurricane), BlueRibbon Coalition, and Tri State ATV have been meeting with BLM, Water Conservancy, and the City of Washington to learn more about the project.
We were previously informed when the reservoir was done, we would lose the lower parts of Fault Line and Sandcutter, as well as the camping/staging area near Hwy 7, but when we learned that, we constructed the Ridgeline Trail at substantial expense to maintain access from Warner Valley.
We are extremely concerned for many reasons, including the following:

• BLM will give up 1050 acres of Sand Mountain in exchange for 89 acres in St George
• We will lose access to the West Rim Trail, the Restroom on Pipeline Road, the disbursed camping areas, and possibly the Ridgeline Trail we constructed to mitigate the reservoir loss.
• We will lose staging and camping in Warner Valley
• There has apparently been no decision about what agency would oversee recreation in the newly acquired area, but it seems likely it will become a fee area.
• If access to Sand Mountain is impaired from Washington Dam, it will impact the load on other roads including our newly constructed Waddy’s Corral Staging area.
• We are extremely concerned that the City of Washington will be annexing the land surrounding Pipeline Road and West Rim, and that they may permit development on top of the Rim; the views over a lake will skyrocket land values. Development would bring a whole host of issues including loss of the tremendous views from above by having buildings/homes on top of the ridge, user conflicts between residents/occupants and OHV users.
• We only have 30 days to inform the public and submit scoping comments.

We have been working hard on this for 4 weeks to get this information. This is the part where we need you!
What we need you to do:

• Submit Your Comments Electronically using your choice of methods:

1. By email sent to [blm_ut_sgfo_[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) with a copy to [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
2. Visiting Blueribbon Coalition’s Action Alert at https://www.sharetrails.org/stop-the-sale-of-sand-mountain/#/104/
3. The deadline has been extended till Midnight April 19, 2023.

• Stay Engaged. We are only in the first inning of an overtime game. If you’re not getting the UPLA and DRATS Emails, sign up for them today to stay informed. UPLA site link.

Following is a brief description of the Scoping process in the NEPA Review that may guide you in formulating your questions/comments for the meeting. We will have a handout for you when you enter the meeting.
The National Environmental Policy Act (NEPA) requires the Bureau of Land Management (BLM), to involve the public in the planning process and seek their input through a scoping process. Effective NEPA scoping comments for BLM should pose the questions or issues to be looked at, not provide answers.

1. Specific information about the proposed project and its potential impacts on the environment and local communities.
2. Identification of any alternatives to the proposed project that could mitigate or avoid potential negative impacts.
3. Discussion of the potential cumulative effects of the proposed project in combination with other past, present, and reasonably foreseeable future actions.
4. Analysis of potential impacts on wildlife, water resources, cultural and historic resources, and other sensitive environmental resources.
5. Request for meaningful public participation throughout the NEPA process, including opportunities for public comment and involvement in decision-making.
6. Request for transparency and disclosure of all relevant information, including scientific data and analysis, underlying assumptions, and potential conflicts of interest.
7. Discussion of any potential economic impacts of the proposed project, including impacts on local jobs, property values, and tax revenue.
8. Recommendation for monitoring and mitigation measures to minimize or address any adverse environmental impacts.
9. Discussion of any potential long-term impacts of the proposed project on the environment and local communities.
10. Request for BLM to consider the full range of alternatives and potential impacts, rather than limiting the analysis to a narrow set of options.

MMCC had a meeting today (first since December)
Key takeaways:
Will T said the new cannabis legislation repeals all of the old medical statutes. This would mean high allotment folks will have possession limits reduced on 7/1 to 120 grams flowe36concentrate.
There are new reports available: patient survey, baseline study. I also found the home grow study. Lots to discuss. Links in next post due to spam filter.
MMCC is ready for legalization including plans for getting the regulations done by 7/1 (again implying sales would start on 7/1) and doing consumer awareness ahead of time.
​
Will Tilburg reported:
total patients in the 160K range
new patient and caregiver applications being turned around in a couple of days
card printing has caught up, now just at 2 week delay.
a bunch of new jobs have been posted (including a social media director), first candidates start onboarding in a couple weeks.
IT has new "dashboard" project in the works
​
Dawn Berkowitz (Deputy Director) reported:
1) patient survey results are in. 13K patients responded. A lot more patients are daily users than I would have suspected. Some other surprising numbers. Link coming (Reddit filters thread starters with doc links)
2) baseline study has been completed. I was in the middle of this one already - it's 74 pages. It's worth a read.
3) education campaign - MMCC is planning a consumer awareness campaign for legalization including web, tv and social media efforts. They are also developing materials for dispensaries and planning a website upgrade.
​
Andrew Garrison (Policy Director) reported: He has a team working with legislators and gave the commission a much shorter version of what I already bore you to death with. He did report working through the weekend for crossover day frenzy in the legislature.
The rest of the meeting was approving transfers, relocations and granting a 6 month extension on pending licenses. Did you know Herbiculture wants a grow and process license?

A bit of information
Married 29M, 27F
NW 1.9M
Income ~380k per year combined
I am currently working a government job, and have a sole proprietorship engineering firm in the odd hours and leaving the government job in may.
LCOL area
Seeking advice on how to properly write a proposal and not be burned taking over my fathers business, as well as questions I should be asking that I may not have, and any advice from redditors that may be in similar situations.
I am a sole proprietor and own my engineering firm. Started it 10 months ago and looking at ~170k in sales for the first tax year. My wife is currently working at the chemical plant, and this was very intentional.
​
My father in law recently passed away and this has spurred some large conversations with my dad. He is the sole owner of a small chemical company that does ~10 million in sales per year, and he is wanting to make me the president of it, we have discussed him selling as well as placing it in a trust. Over the last 30 years the best the company has netted him is 1m in a year, at the worst he has lost about 200k. For the most part he has averaged a net income of 560k per year.
My business and the chemical plant are in related fields, and they would compliment each other very well. The company has been in stagnation for about 7 years, and has not taken on much risk. I have quite a few immediate avenues open where I could ramp up cash flow.
​
Option 1:
Buy the business outright, I have an SBA Loan that myself and my engineering firm qualifies for, and have a pre qualification letter for 3 million. We have spoken about a sales price of 2 million, but don't have anything in writing. 8.6% interest rate.
Option 2:
Place the business into a trust, I would be designated trustee and named the president of the company. My dad would get 250k/year till the day he passes upon which time it would transfer to my mom. I don't know the specifics, but have a trust company we are working with.
Option 3:
Something I might be missing.

Hello all, I’ve had something pop up and will be unable to travel into Nashville for the game this Sunday.
I still have the pair of tickets for sale for Sunday’s game vs Section 333 Row J.
I’lI take the best offer for them.

Timestamp: https://imgur.com/a/XxMk46y
Looking to sell some camera stuff I haven't used in a while.
Canon EOS T7i Rebel Body: Used for about a year, mostly sat in the closet. Comes with SanDisk 64GB SD Card, stock battery & charger. $420 shipped CONUS
Canon EF 50mm f/1.4 USM Lens: Used the same amount as the T7i Body, again mostly sat in the closet with the cap on. $250 shipped CONUS
MeFOTO Backpacker A0350: Used a few times, has some scuffs on the rubber. Comes with stock bag. $70 shipped CONUS
2x FujiFilm Instax Mini 9: Selling together! Cannot remember if either were used ever, maybe a picture or two. $30 shipped CONUS
Prefer to bundle items together, comment and PM please!

All the Pops - https://imgur.com/a/H0yH8MR
For trade OR sale: These prices do not include shipping, it’ll depend on how many you want and whether it’s a trade or also a sale. All prices below are 20-40% off PPG. Or you can buy the entire lot for 65% PPG which would be: $680 SHIPPED - NO SHIPPING COSTS
I will update the price for the whole lot and this link: https://www.hobbydb.com/marketplaces/hobbydb/users/delport18
Based on what sells
For trades I would only want to trade up (i.e. multiple of mine for few of yours) Looking for autos, anime and marvel grails, con exclusives and limited number pieces, also Pokemon Cards/products
Marvel:
Professor X: $40
Spider-Gwen: $25
Spiderman MCC: $20
Spiderman 470: $30
Thor (Secret Wars) MCC: $20 (each)
Mayhem Glow: $18
Christine Palmer: $16 (each)
Alligator Loki: $22
Vision Comic Cover: $20
Scarlet Witch Comic Cover: $30
Kate Bishop: $15
Squirrelpool Flocked: $50
The Watcher Funko Shop: $18
Zombie She-Hulk: $15
Avengers Assemble Iron Man: $35
Avengers Assemble Thor: $40
Doctor Strange Supreme GITD: $25
Red She-Hulk Shared: $20
Doc Ock: $15
Hobgoblin: $15
Scarlet Witch: $25
Ghost Panther: $15
Iron Spider: $15
Kraven the Hunter (Slight Damage): $15
Iron Man Funko Shop:$15
DC:
Batman Battle Damage: $25
Harley Quinn w Mallet Gamestop Exclusive: $25
Peacemaker Wondercon: $20
Bruce Wayne $20
Anime:
Beerus Eating Noodles: $25
Infinite Deku GITD : $20
Todoroki GITD: $20
Eijiro Unbreakable: $15
Games/Shows:
Vi: $40
Mileena: $15
Sonic with Ring: $20
Kitana: $35
Yennefer BAM Exclusive: $12
Geralt Fall Fest: $20
Thank you for looking! Please comment or message with questions or offers!

The old company gets purchased and run into the ground. The product itself is fine, until it breaks and have found yourself for 12 straight days spam calling and emailing.
In 12 days of easily 10 calls a day, their phones have only ONCE been answered, and of course that was the sales line.
Leaving a voicemail for the support team sees you ignored.
Email tickets - ignored. Although interestingly enough the first response on the ticket where the technician made a change was quick, however once you make them aware the change broke every tenant you have in there..... Crickets.
The sales person seemed helpful, bumped your ticket, for you to then get a generic response asking if we have "Installed the agent correctly". Point them to the existing ticket which has all the info..... Crickets.
They can still spam you from the marketing email a few times a week though.
Sad times after being one of the first clients on Autoelevate, the time has come. What else are people using?

Hello people! Introductions are super awkward so let's wave at each other and pretend you just read a super duper intro and you're soooo amazed you gotta keep reading till the end... (abracadambra focus pocus readus wholus postus)
And I know there's no worse possible way to make it even more awkward with adding all that cringey magic spell thingy (that's definitely not real, you're reading this on your own will!) buuuuut you're basically getting a taste of what it's like interracting with me. In one word, stupid. In two words, stupidly fun. (I hope... but confidence is key)
I'm from a small European country and I live in an even smaller village and I avoid the big city life as much as possible. I work mostly from home but my hobbies are outdoorsy and my days are always full with a variety of things but there's definitely time for a much needed interaction with my friends and my beloved people (they are mostly online or too far to meet up so basically my social life is inside a laptop/phone/discord/etc.). I spam my very close people all the time at random times with all my random thoughts or pics of things I saw and whatsoever. I'm quite extroverted unless you put me in a room with 100 people then I'll probably hide under a table for sure (after I steal a big plate of food so I have snacks in my solitude). I'm very sharing with my feelings, I like creating genuine bonds and fun connections that last for maaaany years. I'm generally a positive person and not much can stress me or worry me, I like to leave tomorrow's problems for my self of tomorrow so me of today can enjoy the current day! (if that makes sense to you just send me a message already).
I do not struggle with mental health issues although I spent years of fighting my own demons (it was a tough war but I can proudly say I made it!!!!!) and that really helped me into appreciating every single day and finding joy in the smallest of things. This war however may have been the cause of me remaining single for a while. It was my own choice to not bring anyone else into my life when I wasn't happy with who I was and how I was treating myself and heck how could I treat anyone better if I was so harsh to myself! But I'm confident and soooo ready to find a partner in crime and thrive together. I like fun and engaging people, who can laugh at themselves and their mistakes, they don't let a day go to waste without making memories or smile at least 10 times (but relaxing isolating days are accepted too every now and then)..
I know I come off as a big idiot and it's not for everybody and that's really okay. If I sound too serious that's also okay but be warned I'm indeed a big idiot. I have an awful and worrying taste of self-depreciating and dark humour and I like to talk for hours if something catches my interest and triggers my curiosity. I'm not looking for short boring convos with no equal effort from both sides atleast when we're getting to know each other. I do not have an ideal type because at this point anyone who matches my energy and wants to be stupid together is already a great candidate! Just be a good person, mind your own business and we probably can get along well together. And if the sparks happen, then bam! Any age is fine as long there's no big age difference (5-6 years give or take maybe?) , ideally from Europe too just to make meeting/travelling together easier and for time difference because I liiiiike my sleep.
I do have a mature geeky boringy side that I only like to bring in the surface when it's needed so don't worry about wanting to talk about serious and important topics with me. I can do that. I do not smoke, drink nor do drugs. I love babies but I have none of my own (human atleast, because furry babies I have alot) and would love to a mini me in the future. I'm shorter than average (hey let's not post numbers because they kinda stiiiiing hahahaha), a bit on the chubby side although very active (hey I just like alot of snacks! don't judge me -_-), long light brown hair, green/bluey eyes and I'm told I look younger and quite cute (atleast 3 grandmas told me this month!)
This was probably the most uninformative post I read but really if you read the whole thing and you can match the vibe and continue it with your own message then you're absolutely welcome! I have no big expectations so the disappointment rates are soooo low I might as well just end this here and post it! So thanks for reading!!!
​
​
*Idiot edit, I FORGOT THE TITLE! Well... can't fix it now haha.

Something's missing. People (and entities) are starting to notice.
First Previous
***
Far across the multiverse in a tavern that, depending on one’s point of view, may or may not have actually existed, Zeb, Petunia, Bethany, Bergamot, Cleve, and Zilandrial sat at a large wooden table.
“Thank you, Shauna,” Bergamot said as a buxom woman in a low-cut peasant dress filled their mugs with a “magic” pitcher of beer that never ran dry. “You don’t have to serve us, you know.”
“Oh, I know,” Shauna replied brightly, “but I am a barmaid. Besides, I am not giving up my magic pitcher!” she added with a laugh. “The next batch of stew should be out in a second.”
“If it is as good as this bread…” Cleve said, holding up a thick, floppy piece of flatbread.
“Better!” Shauna exclaimed. “The pantry keeps filling back up with the best stuff! It’s almost a shame to make stew out of it, but the “fancy” chef went to the “fancy” place. We just figured out the roaster thingy, so we’ll be serving roast fowl as soon as the first batch cooks!”
Shauna paused and took a big drink from her pitcher.
“It turns out that you just had to talk to it. Weird… But no weirder than anything else, I suppose. You guys want to wait for the roast fowl?”
“We shouldn’t tary,” Zeb replied, “We don’t know how long this blessed peace will last.”
“Maybe it’s over?” Bethany the Tinker, now reunited with her beloved hat, asked.
“One can hope,” Zeb shrugged as he drank deeply from his tankard, “but I’m not delaying my repast, and neither should you. When you have fiends like Pantsu and F10w3rchy1d in play, things can get much worse than they already are.”
“Worse?!?” Bergamot exclaimed in horror.
***
Melinda the Stalwart was starting to believe that she should have stayed in bed today.
It was supposed to be her day off! Yeah, things were starting to get “weird,” but with all of those high-rated champions running around up north, it was probably going to get handled pretty quickly… and she was tired of chasing around after their scraps.
Her copper-rated ass was sitting this one out. The fact that everyone had gone gank-crazy just further confirmed that she had the right idea.
So, she decided to head back to the royal city of Raven’s Peak to take advantage of the richer and more powerful adventurers running off to the north, leaving all the armorers, enchanters, alchemists, and publicans in town behind.
It was nice not constantly getting shoved out of the way by stronger champions and ignored by shopkeepers far more interested in their gold than her silver for once.
It started out as such a lovely day, too!
She awoke in a lovely bed at the Blade and Wand, her absolute favorite inn, and a place where it was nearly impossible to get a room without a reservation or a lot more status than she had. There, she enjoyed a wonderful breakfast, at a discounted rate no less, and then went out for a day of crowd-free shopping!
It. Was. Bliss! There were no lines, and all of the storekeepers and craftsmen were all too happy to not only serve her and her meager purse but actually take time to chat!
Then, for lunch, she decided to visit the main branch of the adventurer’s guild, where she had an honest-to-gosh hamburger and fries along with some cider. After that, the plan was to get some training or maybe buy a buff or two…
Well, that was the plan, anyway.
What actually happened was that her wonderful burger, which she could never get under normal circumstances (they were always sold out before a copper-rated nobody could get their coppers taken), was interrupted by the most unholy screams she had ever heard inside or outside a dungeon.
She barely had time to stand before the doors to the guild offices exploded outward, and a demon covered in spikes and flames charged into the main hall.
That looks just like the guildmaster, was about all she had time to think before the fiend was on her.
***
“What’s happening?!?” Melinda cried in terror as she hurtled through absolutely nothing.
(Shh bby is ok)
“H-hello?” she called.
(😊)
“W-who are you? What happened to me?”
(Shh bby is ok)
“Am I… Am I dead?!?”
(is ok)
“Oh, it is definitely NOT okay! Who are you, and what the hell happened?”
The bedbug sighed with exasperation as it bounced off an invisible barrier again.
It had taken too long. The soul was starting to wake up.
Before much longer, it would start to get wiggly. It hated it when they began to wiggle.
Not knowing exactly what else to do, it let out a little ping.
It was answered by thousands of its kind! They couldn’t get through either, so they were having a rave! Awesome!
With a happy little (woo!), it zipped off towards the largest concentration of pings dragging an increasingly indignant Melinda the Stalwart along whether she wanted to or not.
***
“Hahaha!” Tawdry laughed into a prepaid “burner phone” her parents didn’t know about. “I can’t be-lieve you got me fucking grounded, you skank!”
“You’re still grounded?” Claudia snickered, “You diminished that badly?”
“It’s my parents. I managed to talk them down to a week without brain fucking them too hard. Besides, this cell is a lot nicer than the holes you used to stick me in. I’ll just do my time and be done with it. Besides, it will give our friends time to leave town since someone can’t manage to find a freaking truck.”
“First of all, fuck you,” Claudia laughed, “Second of all, thanks for getting that bastard to show up in a park and chase you across all of that nice soft turf. We got a lot of data we didn’t have before.”
“Like what?”
“Like its estimated mass, tire treads, a few lovely material samples where it nailed a park bench while trying to kill you… oh, and confirmation that it actually materializes and dematerializes. We can only assume the little bitch does the same thing. Too bad you couldn’t actually lay hands on her.”
“She was slippery, okay?” Tawdry chuckled.
“Hey,” Claudia said, “before Evika and her party ganked you, did they say anything about whom they were working for, or did they mention a little blonde girl named Petunia… or Pantsu?”
“No, they just said hi and blew my head off. Oh! Stephen did say that David finally confessed to Evika!”
“Took him long enough,” Claudia laughed, “Think he has a chance?”
“I know he has one,” Tawdry replied, “Evika’s gonna drop those drawers any second.”
“Good for her.”
“You said that Robert the Golden Peckerhead got sent back?”
“Yeah, and he is not adjusting well,” Claudia replied, “We have him in a ‘special’ inpatient facility where we are keeping the people with ‘issues’.”
“You got a lot of ‘patients’?”
“Not as many as you would think,” Claudia said, “Not everyone is happy about things, but there is something to be said about not having to sleep with a dagger under your pillow.”
“True that,” Tawdry replied. “High school is a pain, but being able to go out for pizza without an enraged wife (or husband) trying to shank you is nice.”
“Careful,” Claudia laughed, “Enraged spouses here might have a gun. You might want to go easy on the adultery this time around. There is also no magic contraception, and cure disease potions aren’t for sale in every town.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me,” Tawdry groaned. “Doesn’t really matter, though. I might as well be a nun these days.”
“You can’t be diminished that much!”
“I am not into kids, and any man worth screwing isn’t into jailbait. I’m the exact opposite of screwed… Speaking of, you did mention a possible trip to Denmark?”
“Aren’t you grounded?”
“I won’t be next week!”
“And how will you explain your sex tourism to your folks?”
“Let me worry about my folks,” Tawdry replied, “You worry about that plane ticket!”
“I’ll see what I can do,” Claudia replied with a chuckle.
Natasha! Come down for dinner!
“I’ll be right there!” Tawdry yelled.
“I gotta go. It’s taco night…”
Tawdry grinned.
“Speaking of tacos, did you get that camel toe fixed yet?”
“And just when we were even, too!” Claudia laughed. “Your little suggestion has everyone looking at my snatch… including me, and I know it’s bullshit!”
“Ha! Is your new fuck toy looking?”
“I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Detective Martin! I know you have a thing for that whole world-weary crusader vibe. And don’t think I didn’t see you checking out his ass, either.”
“I have the same problem you do,” Claudia sighed, “worse even. The sort of man I like certainly won’t be messing around with a ‘kid’, even if I am ‘legal’.”
“Yeah, you do like them a bit crusty, don’t you? How about finding some rich asshole who is having a mid-life crisis?”
“I will repeat myself. The sort of man I would like isn’t interested… and won’t be for years.”
“Meh. You’re not giving yourself enough credit… and giving them far too much of it.”
“Well, Slaker turned me down cold… goddamn chain of command…”
“No! You tried to give it up to Slaker?”
“Wouldn’t be the first time…”
“No way! I need details, all of them!”
“Well…”
Natasha! Dinner!
“I have to go,” Tawdry said, “but this is not over!”
***
Vroom? an old Peterbilt truck revved as it sat in a remote corner of a truck stop in the middle of nowhere.
“Still nothing,” the little girl huffed. “How can an entire universe disappear?”
Vroom… Vroom?
“Let’s hope not,” the girl replied, “Even so, he wouldn’t abandon us!”
“What?” the spirit asked with alarm.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” the little girl replied.
“Doesn’t sound like nothing.”
“Okay,” the little girl replied, “There is a remote chance that our boss has had to… um… cease operations and relocate. It hasn’t happened in a really long time, but it has happened.”
“Does that mean that I’m stuck?!?”
“No, of course not. It just means we might have to wait until we’re collected.”
Vroom.
“He won’t forget us!”
VroOoom…
“Hey! Don’t even start talking like that! We’ve done good work for the boss on several worlds. He won’t just discard us!”
“What do you mean, discard?”
“Just watch your anime, weeb,” the little girl snapped. “He hasn’t abandoned us, and he won’t forget us. He’s just… um…”
Vroom.
“I don’t know, alright!” the little girl replied angrily, “I have no idea where those others came from. All I know is that we didn’t squish them.”
VvvrOom.
“If he had another team, I would know about it!”
Vroom?
“I just would, okay! WE AREN’T GETTING REPLACED!... I’m… I’m going to get some air, maybe a Coke or something.”
The little girl threw open the door to the cab angrily and hopped out.
“Hey!” the spirit yelled, “See if they have any audiobooks!”
***
We’ve been abandoned… the little girl thought to herself as she prowled the truck stop trying not to panic.
She had to keep it together for Truck-Kun… and their new companion. If she fell apart, Truck-Kun would, too, and who knows what the spirit would do. He was two seconds from making another run for it as it was.
She paused by a rack of dusty old audiobooks on CD. Now that wasn’t something she had seen in a bit.
Thankful for the distraction, she started perusing the titles. Some of them were things she hadn’t already read (or listened to).
She grabbed a few for herself and then started looking for something appropriately nerdy for her new guest.
She might have murdered them in cold blood, but that was no reason not to be a good host.
She was so distracted by her own troubles and the audiobooks that she didn’t notice that she was being followed until the guy’s shadow fell around her.
She then became aware of his oily aura and smiled.
All work and no play…
“Hello, little girl…”
She looked up at him with an innocent expression and doe-like eyes.
“Hi.”
***
Truck-Kun quietly ground his gears as he watched a beat-up RV pull onto the highway.
Vroom, he grumbled as he put himself in gear and started to follow.
“What?” the spirit asked.
About half an hour later, Truck-Kun pulled over next to an RV that was parked on the side of the highway.
The door opened, and the little girl hopped out, holding a paper bag.
Vroom, the truck revved disapprovingly.
“Such a nice man,” the little girl said impishly as she plopped into the driver’s seat, and the truck drove away.
“Are those bloodstains?” the spirit asked as he pointed at the bag.
“What answer would you prefer?” the girl asked as she pulled out a half-filled fifth of vodka and most of a pack of smokes graciously donated by the nice man in the RV (it wasn’t like he was going to be needing them).
Vroom.
“I know I quit,” the girl replied as she put one in her mouth. “Give me a break. My nerves are shot.”
Vroom.
“Yes, shot enough to smoke menthols!”
The little girl lit up and drew heavily on the cigarette, exhaling a lovely smoke ring.
Vroom!
“So, crack a window!”
Vroom! Vroom! Vrooooom!
“You can’t smell, and you know it! So please, cut me some slack. I’ve had a bad day,” she said as she turned up the bottle of vodka like it was Juicy Juice.
Vroom!
“I know you’ve had a bad day, too,” the girl said as she wiped her mouth, “Want me to get you some fuel treatment at the next stop, maybe some starting fluid?”
Vroom.
“Okay, and a new air freshener, maybe some of those fuzzy dice you like? Deal?”
Vroom!… Vroom?
“As a matter of fact,” the little girl said as she pulled out a wad of bills. “the nice man did keep his cash on him.”
Vroom! the truck revved happily.
***
“Jesus!” Gary Martin, formerly Detective Martin, winced as he looked inside an abandoned old RV the following day.
“Say what you want about her,” Claudia Smythe said as she ate a corn dog. “but she is thorough.”
“We think the girl did this?”
“Matches her MO,” Claudia shrugged as she flicked the corn dog stick aside. “And we have surveillance footage at the truck stop. The asshole was talking to someone small, the cameras didn’t get a good shot of the kid, and eyewitnesses state that he was in the company of his ‘daughter’ when he left.”
“You said this was her MO. She’s done this before?” Gary asked.
“She rolls guys like this for their pocket change. We’re not sure if it’s how they finance their operations or if she just does it for fun, but this is the third one this year.”
A well-dressed and very young man in sunglasses approached the pair.
“Sir Lark,” Claudia said without turning around. “We have an ID on this guy yet?”
“Boris Veetch,” the young man said. “a registered sex offender with an active warrant for skipping out on his parole.”
“Yeah, she likes those,” Claudia shrugged. “Nobody will mourn his passing. He was easily ensnared, and he probably was carrying cash.”
“And she is professional bait,” Gary shrugged. “He was slime, but I’m not sure even he deserved what happened to him, though. What sort of monster would do something like this?”
“You just answered your own question,” Claudia replied, “a monster.”
“If you think this is bad," Lark said as he started photographing the scene, "You should see what a pack of goblins will do if they get the chance."
“Considering what we now know,” Claudia said with a shrug, “this trail is beyond cold. Even if they couldn’t do the whole disappearing act, they could be in any of several states by now. We’ve lost them… again.”
She looked over at Gary.
“Just as well,” she added, “We need to get you processed and briefed… agent.”
She smiled.
“Welcome to the Temporal Protection Agency.”
***
Deep within the deepest dungeon on Asteria Prime, a monstrous giant of a spider fidgeted uncomfortably.
“H-hello… boss,” it said nervously, “T-to w-what do we owe the honor of your visit?”
Frostie smiled an icy smile that filled the giant spider with horror.
“Oh, I was just in the area and thought I would give my friends here,” she said, indicating The Great Erectus, The Herald, and Cuddles, “a tour.”
“O-of c-course!” Log’Sharingoth LXXXIII stammered as their legs twitched miserably. “W-would you like a guide?”
“That would be lovely,” Frostie smiled. “Where’s Pantsu? I think she and The Big Guy over here would get along famously.”
“S-she isn’t available, boss.”
“Not even for me?”
“I-I apologize,” Log’Sharingoth said nervously, “but she isn’t here right now?”
“Well, where did she go?”
“I-I’m not sure, boss…”
“Okay, how about Nova?”
“S-she’s not here, either.”
“Shai-Vai-Loshara?”
“Um…”
“Steve?”
Log’Sharingoth made a whining bubbling noise as they shrank away.
“Why don’t you just tell me who is missing and exactly what the fuck is going on?” Frostie said with an angry gleam in her eye.
***
“…and I don’t know where anyone is!” Log’Sharingoth wailed miserably. “And everything is going wrong, the players almost rioted, and the physics engine threatened to quit! I didn’t know what to doooo!!!”
“And at no point did it occur to you to call me?” Frostie asked with a frightening edge to her voice.
“Pantsu told me not to!!!”
Frostie let out a long-suffering sigh. Of course, the current Log’Sharingoth wouldn’t go against Pantsu. It was horribly unfair to expect otherwise.
“I’m not going to come down on you because of what she did,” Frostie said a bit more gently. “However, since I now clearly know something is amiss, anything you can tell me will be of great value.”
“I-I’m not in trouble?”
“Not from me,” Frostie replied, “and Pantsu won’t be giving you any problems after I’m done with her.”
Frostie paused.
“So, this glitched Pantsu, where is it now?”
“Pantsu had me send it to Tartarus! I’m sorry! But she said to!”
“Sounds like the only sensible thing she’s done thus far,” Frostie replied.
“I didn’t want to, but she told me to do it!”
“Oh, don’t worry,” Frostie shrugged, “sounds like the perfect place for it. Wait. She told you?”
“Yes, Boss!”
“That means you have a line of communications?”
Log’Sharingoth’s multiple eyes all widened with fear.
“Y-yes?”
“Call her and tell her to give me her location… now.”
“Y-yes boss…”
Log’Sharingoth fell silent for a few moments.
“Um… Boss?”
“Let me guess,” Frostie said, “You can’t reach her, can you?”
“No, Boss.”
“Fine,” Frostie grumbled. “We do this the hard way. You’ve done a great job, considering everything.”
“I have?” Log’Sharingoth asked hopefully.
“You have,” Frostie said reassuringly. “Keep doing what you’re doing, and I’ll send a crisis response team to help out in the meantime.”
“A… A crisis response team?” Log’Sharingoth asked fearfully.
“You didn’t think you were getting off Scot free, did you?” Frostie laughed as she and her companions disappeared.
“…Ssssshit,” Log’Sharingoth hissed as she stalked off into the shadows.
***
The hominid looked around at their new surroundings.
Everything was white. The floor was white. The walls were white. The furniture was white…
Even the plants were white…
And everything was spotless.
“Interesting décor,” he said after a few seconds.
“They like to keep things tidy,” Frostie replied as she took a seat on one of the white couches.
“They?” the ape-man asked dubiously as Cuddles slipped one of her tentacles into The Herald’s hand.
He gently gripped it, causing Cuddles to suppress a delighted squeal.
“Playtime is over,” Frostie said in a matter-of-fact tone. “I’m calling in my real operatives.”
“Jesus!” The Great Erectus exclaimed as a spotless white door opened, and a short, slender blue male amphibian-like biped in a white tunic bearing a three-headed dog embroidered with platinum thread walked in.
“You never told me you had… them!”
“Oh, you are familiar with their kind?”
“Those little monsters are responsible for the death of entire universes! Every time there is a parallel manifestation of those… monsters… entire galaxies die.”
“They can be a handful,” Frostie said pleasantly, “But I’ve found them incredibly valuable over the years… for that very same reason. These do come from much more reasonable stock from a much more reasonable ancestor... Maybe 'reasonable' is pushing it a little,” Frostie added with a laugh. "Reasonable for one of them, at least."
The blue amphibian smiled pleasantly and blinked his huge amber eyes, their pleasant hue replaced with a whirling madness of color.
“Hello, Hades,” Frostie said with a smile. “It has been quite a while. How have you been?”
“Bored,” Hades replied. “I trust you have come to alleviate that?”
“Most definitely,” Frostie replied. “Awaken the others…”
“…It’s time to hunt.”