History of consciousness ucsc


2008.07.09 23:05 Integral

Integral studies, including Integral Theory, philosophy, consciousness studies, metamodernism, new religious and new spiritual countercultures, and other media in the larger, integral purview.

2014.07.08 15:53 Esoteric Christianity

A sub devoted to the lesser-known or "hidden" aspects and forms of Christian philosophy and history. Topics include mysticism, gnosis, asceticism, Christ consciousness, apotheosis, theosophy, ritual practices, so called "heresies".

2009.04.02 17:40 scientologist2 High Strangeness

Explorations of the Paranormal, UFOs, Ancient Cultures, Cryptozoology, Consciousness, Futurism, Fringe Science, Anomalies, Animal Mutilations, and instances of High Strangeness.

2023.03.21 20:56 Expensive-Storm6238 Mid pregnancy move

Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post about moving midwives after a house move. Turns out a quick phone call to the trust and a couple of days of waiting for everything to tick over and we’re set.
I’ve just had notification of my booking appointment with my new midwife. It’s very strange to be ‘starting again’ but at least she’s booked it in to coincide with what would have been my 25 week appointment so I should still be able to get my MatB1 form on time.
My question to any other mums who have swapped after the half way mark is did you have to have any of your scans re-done? The midwife mentioned fresh blood work and collecting all my family history again which I expected but now I’m wondering if it’s a complete reset, scans included. TIA
submitted by Expensive-Storm6238 to PregnancyUK [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:56 slidinglight Pavlik Harness for Hip Dysplasia

Unfortunately we received the diagnosis today that our 6 month old daughter has hip dysplasia. I have requested the medical records so I can the exact diagnosis with their measurements. The treatment is the Pavlik harness which keeps her legs 23 hrs a day in the frog M position. The idea being this will resolve the dysplasia hopefully over time. I didn't think I had to question this treatment necessarily, but in my efforts to discover statistical results I came across this recent study published in Nature.
This argues:
Interpretation Pavlik harness treatment of stable but sonographic dysplastic hips has no effect on acetabular development. Eighty percent of the patients will have a normal development of the hip after twelve weeks. Therefore, we recommend observation rather than treatment for stable dysplastic hips.
I am of course eager to find out if my daughter falls under that category and we can indeed forgo this harness system, especially if it doesn't have strong evidence to back it up.
In another journal article I found:
"Examining the Short-Term Natural History of Developmental Dysplasia of the Hip in Infancy: A Systematic Review"
they concluded
We found most mild-to-moderate DDH can resolve without treatment in early infancy, especially in physiologically immature (Graf 2A) hips. More high-quality evidence is needed to properly assess the natural history of DDH as only one included study was a randomized trial.
Is it possible that the standard care provided by my country (the Netherlands) actually is behind on the evidence and this harness system is simply not the best course of action? It's quite stressful for her to use, very cumbersome, and now I am concerned about what are the potential negative effects it could have on her body. Would love for those who have the ability and education of reading journal articles to help me navigate the science on this.
submitted by slidinglight to ScienceBasedParenting [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:56 bluetack_man How to remove brambles, feel like I'm going crazy?? Third year of digging and little progress.

I'm having trouble removing brambles from my plot.
Bit of history, this is the third year I've had my plot, which a double plot 25m x 5m. When I took it on, it was COVERED in brambles, which had no fruits on at the time but my allotment neighbour says they are raspberry canes which had spread over the whole plot. There were probably hundreds of individual plants that had been let go for years.
It was a lot of work, but in the first year I strimmed them all down to the ground, and spent months going over the plot digging out as many of the rootballs and roots as I could. I then covered my veg growing areas with thick cardboard, and lots of manure which we get free delivered from a riding school across the way. I put a thick layer of manure down, maybe 10cm over the cardboard. I didn't really grow much my first year as I was trying to get the plot into shape.
Second year on the plot (last year), I found a lot of the brambles had regrown and needed digging up again. I did my best but know I didn't get every single root, but several wheelbarrows later I had a clean plot again. More manure on top, and had a decent growing season. I visited the plot maybe twice a week to water, and I often saw little shoots of brambles coming up despite all my effort.
This year, I've noticed that after the winter there are just so many new bramble plants. There are probably 20 plants 3 foot high.
My allotment neightbour tells me to spray them and that I'll never get them out by digging, but I don't really want to as it is against the allotment site rules to use a spray and I don't really want to use chemicals anyway.
How can I tackle this issue? I feel like I'm making no progress at all and they are going to keep coming up for ever!
submitted by bluetack_man to Allotment [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:55 JordanFromStache Bob Ross & the Fine Art Community

I've been thinking about Bob Ross's place in conversation of art and art history.
As far as I can sense, Bob Ross is deeply well liked among most people (myself included) for his kindheartedness and gentle voice as he teaches his painting techniques on his PBS show, The Joy of Painting. I've also gotten the sense that there's a large part of the (fine) art community that completely disregards him as an artist, his work, or his techniques.
I've heard arguments that he is more of a teacher than an artist (which, some college professors might slightly also feel the sting of that statement), but I personally think his artistic ability shouldn't be understated.
He was stationed in Alaska when he was in the military and fell in love with the beauty of nature and the mountains he saw. To capture this beauty he was moved to paint them and, by all accounts, taught himself how to oil paint. By necessity, he learned to paint quickly he said, as he wanted to complete paintings during his short lunch break.
I've heard his art categorized as 'Kitchy' or 'motel art', which is fair. Landscapes a lot of time fall into that realm, and most don't hold any deaper meaning beyond "oh, pretty scenery". But, I feel like the artist's passion should be taken into account. He wasn't so much painting landscapes because they were the art he liked, categorically. He painted landscapes because of the joy he found in nature and he wanted to capture that joy in both his painting and the process of painting. As you watch him paint any piece, he's quite literally beaming with describing mountains, clouds, trees, etc. I've seen art in museums that are modern and/or abstract art that half of the relevance of the work was the emotion the artist had while making it or the emotion they put into it. Bob Ross has a similar way of putting emotion into his art to convey feelings, it's just that it is put into landscapes. Plus, landscape painting are plentiful in museums. In fact, there was a time where still life's were a big subject of paintings in Art History, a subject of which I completely find little to no excitement in.
Another criticism I have heard was how some serious painters don't think Bob Ross's technique is all that great or that nothing of artistic importance can be gleaned from his videos. But, I humbly disagree with such statements. By all accounts, he developed his own style, which is more painting than drawing, which is a good thing, in my opinion, when it comes to painting.
His techniques actually show a somewhat deep understanding of form, visualization, spacing, lighting, and color. For example: it is not always the best idea to paint/draw EXACTLY what the eye is seeing. Sometimes you have to lie about lighting, etc to make it look correct visually. Bob Ross frequently did this. He would, more often than not, know where the trees would look best, the height of the tree that would best compositionally, where the peaks of the mountains looked best at, where the highlighted ridges of the mountains should cut, etc. And when he did a 'happy accident's, he was able to reimagine and bring that mistake back into the composition.
His control of the medium should be recognized to. He was great at mixing his paints to bring out the correct colors he was looking for (and quickly, on the spot during his shows). He also had great control of his tools, being able to paint with a brush and pallette knife, achieving good results. He knew how to use the pallette knife to make a mountain side or cabin and the brush to make trees by dabbing his brush and pond reflections of those trees with just a couple strokes. Some elements of his techniques could fall under Impressionism.
And, one of his most important contributions is his show. Through his show, his easy to comprehend teaching style and his calm instructions, he introduced many people to art. Art can feel snobby and pretentious sometimes, and a lot of people see the art community as that, as well as some art as brooding/angst/angry or very high class, pious, and sophisticated. Bob Ross brought the process of making art (and oil paintings no less, one of the more historically high class mediums) to the masses, showing people that painting can be fun and joyous and that anyone can do it. Sure, not everyone will make art that is museum quality, but I don't believe that's the purpose of art, and it never was. Art is an expression of the artist. And even if some folks out there are painting some mountains and happy little trees and expressing themselves through art and enjoying themselves while doing it, than that's plenty good enough.
submitted by JordanFromStache to ArtHistory [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:55 Sukyrah For the writers, what is the scenario/trope that your works ALWAYS have?

I only write fanfic and original stories where the male lead eventually ends up in a situation where his physical health is taken care by the female lead, it could be caused by a lot of things, but the outcome is always the FL caring for the ML. I also tend to only read fics that I think will have this type of scenes or at least have the male lead placed in a vulnerable position receiving care from someone. I've done original stories where this is an ongoing theme from start to finish, and I've done other works where it is just part of the story, and then it moves on from there. But what moves me to write, besides making my ships sail, is to indulge on this type of things because it's what I don't have from the original content, and even from other fics. Many sick fic appreciators write one shots of hurt/comfort for their character or ships, I tend to love this ones because it goes straight to the point. My question is, as a fic writer, are you conscious of your own repetitions? Because I'm quite sure everyone has them, it's just that some are more obvious than others I guess. Mine is this one, what is yours?
submitted by Sukyrah to FanFiction [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:54 ThrowawayTrainTAC Will my family history of heart problems stop me getting treatment?

I've been screened and approved to register for treatment of ADHD. My issue is that their form asks if there's a family history of heart problems.
Both my parents died of heart failure after decades of smoking tobacco. Due to my ADHD medication, I've recently had an ECG which was fine and I take regular blood pressure tests which come out fine.
Will my parents' history of heart problems prevent me from getting medical cannabis? Thank you.
submitted by ThrowawayTrainTAC to ukmedicalcannabis [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:53 Meow2303 On the whole Moon AI stuff, a discussion hopefully

Hey, I just posted this comment under Viyash's new video, but those are yt comments (nobody reads them) so I'm interested in what you guys think:
Ah I think the postmodernists would have a field day with this if they were still around (the original French ones). I can't claim to be anywhere near their level, but still, my philosophy brain always goes to "but is it different?" Aren't we claiming that there is some essential nature to the specific details that we notice on a picture that somehow makes changing them or inventing them different than "simply enhancing" the photo, almost to the point that it somehow changes the essence of the photo itself? Think about it this way, we already have AI that can locate your face and add stuff to it, or even just enhance it, and there was a very fiery debate you'll recall around the time that got popularized on social media. There were actually extremely similar arguments made that deferred in one way or another to the essential nature of one's "natural" face. But there's nothing natural about the photograph of someone's face and there's absolutely nothing essential about appearance itself. It's ideas that produce essentialism and it was people's ideas of what is "natural" that got challenged back then too. An enhanced shadow isn't different from an invented detail, it's just that at some point the trick stops being magic and we realize its limitations and we see its boundaries and secrets.
That being said, I'm not some tech bro who's super optimistic about new tech and I get the underlying uncomfortableness, but I think Vlash missed the crucial bit of criticism here. I think what this technology in fact does is it reveals some of the subconscious desires that we have, because it is in fact the product of human invention. We want to replicate reality and to replicate nature, we seek to level and to simplify in order to understand, we try to identify and categorize (in the same way that this AI tried to identify the Moon rather than simply accepting what it saw for what it was) etc. etc. However, we humans are also capable of creating beauty. We are capable of being greater than the gods at times, despite our history of logical simplification. And that I think is what is being challenged. We need to remember that we can be creators instead of just consumers. That's what I think is making us all uncomfortable here. But there are great artists using AI as a tool, not to make some "job" easier, but because they can use its features for something greater than the program itself. We are also being reminded of how much we've locked ourselves into small, limited worlds of calculated outcomes, simplicity, symmetry, and it's starting to bore us and to weigh down on us. What we want and what we need is diversity, uncertainty, true, wild creativity, but we are constantly being offered versions that are lesser, art that is lesser, that is burnt out and overworked. We are being shown our limitations. And this all builds up to an age in which we all feel simply powerless and simply lost. When given freedom to invent ourselves, we come up with stuff that is simply practical and nothing more, because we were never taught to be anything more or allowed to stand out. It's one thing to say no to a given and ordained life, but we must also be strong enough to create for ourselves a life that can truly satisfy our deepest desires. So, instead of being pessimistic about AI, I'd like to motivate us to be violently creative with it. Find the limitations and exploit them, break the rules. Stop looking up to the sky and trying to imitate it, be the sky, be yourself boundless.
I love how I just randomly decided to get dramatic under a Vwush video. Must be the wine.
Anyways, I hope we can have a discussion, as I find this topic super interesting. Perhaps someone with more knowledge can correct me or offer something else? :O
submitted by Meow2303 to VaushV [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:52 cattdogg04 HL History notes or advice

I've really struggled with history and struggle to wrap my head around everything in the course. I got a H7 in the mocks (32%) and would really like to bring it up to a H6 or H5 for the leaving cert. I haven't been doing a lot of study for it but I plan to change my ways with 10 weeks to go till the leaving cert. Could someone help me figure out a list of topics I need to study? Any help, advice or notes is greatly greatly appreciated <3
submitted by cattdogg04 to leavingcert2023 [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:52 LoggedInNowWhat Beta screen size thoughts?

I personally feel like the old screen size set up was far superior for both teacher and student. We both got to see the other on the big screen which was nice and the small screen for ourselves which was so important for most people who are a bit shy or self-conscious which just so happens to be include most people who are learning a second language from strangers. I think this change is going to seriously hurt them financially. Have any of your students mentioned anything about this?
submitted by LoggedInNowWhat to Cambly [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:52 EditorWorried4091 Walked out of treatment after using - I'm really struggling with everything right now

I was in my dream treatment centre up until a few weeks ago. I honestly do not know what happened. Something just clicked and I couldn't overcome thoughts/feelings so I went downed vodka (my DOC).
When called out on it, I just walked out with only my purse. After that, being in an unfamiliar city, I was running in pure flight and fear mode. I obliterated myself, was assaulted, and woke up in the hospital. I was too scared to call my parents or call the centre (although at this point a missing person report had been out so everyone was in the know-ish). I spent the next few days drinking and staying in a woman's shelter. Finally, the detective on my SA case found me and got me back to the hospital until my family came.
So now I'm home. and Sober. but I'm terrified. That was my third treatment centre, I don't know what to do. I'm going to meetings, have all the community resources set up, including victim trauma services, and am working on that dang DUI. But can I do this here? alone? Without the comfort and safety of those walls?
I read this story over again and think of my history and I feel like a total lost cause.
I just feel like a failure, again. and I'm scared.
I just needed a safe space to tell this story, thanks for reading.
submitted by EditorWorried4091 to REDDITORSINRECOVERY [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:51 datemycat Could a parasite in pets body cause infection after surgery?

My 6 month old kitten was neutered about 7 days ago and now I'm dealing with an infection at the incision site. The veterinarian told me that infected neuters is like a 2% chance and now I'm wondering what went wrong (he wore a cone since the day he was neutered and continues to wear it to this day). Today it dawned on me that about 3 days after his surgery, I saw some worms in his feces and gave him a dewormer pill the next morning. Literally within 48 hours I had to rush him to the emergency veterinary office for signs of an infection at his incision (blood, puss discharge and swelling). He was flushed out there and is currently on both antibiotica and gabapentin but now I'm wondering if having the worms unknowingly during surgery may have caused his infection?
Age: 6 months cat Breed: American Shorthair / Tuxedo Neuter: Yes Weight: 5 lbs History: Current on vaccines, neutered 1 week ago & now infection at surgical incision. On antibiotics & gabapentin. Dewormed day before infection, worms spotted 2 days before infection. Flea treatment given before neuter date. Location: United States
submitted by datemycat to AskVet [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:51 nimbusmallow This Ian & Sam (Wild Card) video is a great example of a lore vid!

"The Ian & Sam Love Story: The BacH3lor Pilot Season" by The H3 Podcast Family
I've been watching/listening since late 2017 (I think the hurricane charity special was the first ep I watched live) so thankfully I don't have a deluge of inside jokes to catch up on like new fans. It's funny though because even when I started it I felt like there were a million inside jokes you could only get if you watched all their channels - honestly most podcasts I listen to are chock full of inside jokes that you just pick up the more you listen (LPOTL & Castle Super Beast come to mind).
I think this vid by The H3 Podcast Family is a perfect example of the type of lore video folks need for context on past jokes, crewmembers, & just the show history in general (if you haven't been watching for years you might not even know about Sam being the wild card, Ian having to pee so bad, & all that jazz). Anywho, I'm biased as a public historian who interprets history for a living lol. Just thought this video told this story in a great way since it's a multi-ep saga. Would love to see more lore videos like this!
submitted by nimbusmallow to h3h3productions [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:50 MiuIruma332 Yugioh Duel Log 1: Welcome to Toon World

The first event in Duel Link history "Welcome to Toon World" was the Pegasus unlock event. When the game launch with only Duel Monster World, the timeline of events that most characters came from is pre Millennium Duel and post Batle City. However unlike the anime, Pegasus went missing after Duelist Kingdom and was confirm dead at the start of Millennium World Arc. As such many characters has suspensions on Pegasus intent of showing up now all of a sudden.
The Event Scenario: Pegasus has come to Duel Link to thank Kaiba for spreading the game of Duel Monsters in a manner everyone can enjoy. He creates a tournament similar to his Duelist Kingdom Tournament, where players collect star chips to challenge him and if they win against Pegasus they are rewarded with possible riches. Pegasus jokes a bit about putting souls in cards hinting at his past deeds. After a while you can duel lvl 50 pegasus saying that a duel between you and Pegasus at their best deserve to be a special duel, a shadow game. However by the end of the event it's reveal he did this all for fun and all the evil stuff was just to mess with people.
Interactions: Pegasus in the event has interactions with Yami Yugi, Kaiba, Joey, Mai, Tea, Weevil, Rex Raptor, Yami Bakura and Bandit Keith. Seeing how this event is mostly lost to time, I'll give a brief summary of each character interaction.
Yami Yugi: Tells Pegasus no funny business
Kaiba: Pegasus assure Kaiba, he isn't here to take Kaiba Corps again.
Joey: Pegasus tells Joey of the priceless rewards he will get if he beat Pegasus in a duel.
Mai: Mai has no beef with Pegasus, just want to win money.
Tea: Pegasus calls Tea "Yugi Girlfriend", she never doesn't denies it.
Weevil: Pegasus forget Weevil cause he was to first to lose to Yugi in DK.
Rex: Pegasus forget Rex and keeps messing up his name, Rex Rapper.
Bakura: Bakura "Pretty sure I killed you and took your eye, let just do it again."
Bandit Keith: Pegasus just assume Bandit Keith survive the gun shot and swam back home after his men threw him out.
Decks: Level 10-40, Pegasus uses a toon deck. If you duel Pegasus on level 50 he uses a Relinquish deck. Should also mention that as a super duelist while roaming he would use an enhance Toon deck(this was before toon bls, harpies etc. was ever release).
This concludes the first Duel log. I would also like to mention that while Bakura could interact with Pegasus, Bakura event would be the next event after Pegasus original event. Pegasus event would have 2 reruns so you would only see the interaction in these two rerun. Pegasus would also be one of the first cpu characters to be able to use a skill. Duel Link now no longer do cpu characters with skills as well as no longer do super duelist roaming events. These things were meant to be a fun challenges for players but too many player complained about them being too hard and a potential wall for content. So Konami stopped them.
submitted by MiuIruma332 to DuelLinks [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:50 MArtaLnd PEST CONTROL BLOG and Questions Answered

PEST CONTROL BLOG and Questions Answered
PEST CONTROL BLOG and Questions Answered


How To Get Rid of Rats in Drains: Expert Tips & Solutions

Identifying Mouse Droppings: Potential Hazards and How to Clean Up Safely

Rat Droppings: The Hazards of Inhaling or Touching Rat Faeces

Expert Advice on How To Get Rid of Rats From Home and Garden

Pigeon Lifespan: How long do pigeons live?

How Do Flea Bombs Work? The Pros and Cons of Flea Bombing

How Long Do Flies Live?

Do Mice Hibernate?

Field Mice: How to Identify and Control

Bed Bugs: How to Identify, Control, and Treat

Understanding the Bed Bug Cycle and How to Kill Bed Bugs

Where Do Bed Bugs Come From And How Do You Get Bed Bugs?

The History of Bed Bugs

Locate and Destroy the Bugs: Bed Bugs

Heat Treating for Bed Bugs: Pros and Cons

How to Identify Bed Bug Bites and Recognise the Signs

Bites in the Bed: Identifying Bed Bug Bites

Treatment of Bed Bugs – Effective Solutions

How to Get Rid of Bed Bug Bites Overnight

How to Effectively Treat Bed Bugs: DIY and Professional Solutions

Uncovering the Mysteries of Bed Bugs: From Diagnosis to Prevention

Pest Advice For Controlling Rats

Common Mouse Species Found in The UK

Mouse Control: What are the Best Mouse Exterminators and Repellents?

Mouse Identification Chart to Quickly Identify UK Mouse Species

How to Get Rid of Mice: The Benefits of Different Mouse Traps, Repellents, and Baits

Identifying Fox Den Locations in the Garden to Keep the Foxes Away

Types of Earwigs and Their Habitats

Identifying Different Types of Crab Spiders

Identifying Fly Eggs: How to Spot an Infestation

How to Identify House Crickets Infestation and Take Action to Stop Them

A Guide to Identifying Big Spiders in The UK

How to Tell If You Have a Roach Infestation and When to Hire an Exterminator

Choosing the Right Pest Control Services: Tips and Advice for Homeowners

Debunking Common Myths About Spider Bites in the UK

Flea Spray For Home: Professional Tips for Controlling Fleas

The Best Tips for Setting Up a Humane Mouse Trap in Your Home

Baby Pigeon: How To Humanely Remove Baby Pigeons From Your Home

Effective Ways to Deal with an Ant Infestation in Home and Business

Rat In Garden In Daylight: Tips for Making Your Garden Rat-Proof

How to Get Rid of a Wasp Nest: A Guide to Safe and Effective Wasp Control

The Most Effective Treatment of Bed Bugs: What You Need to Know

Types Of Fly – What Are the Different Types of Flies In The UK?

Small Tiny Brown Bugs In House UK

How To Get Rid Of Ants In Kitchen

What Do Bed Bugs Look Like?

The Dangers of Pests: How to Protect Yourself from the Health Hazards They Bring

Don’t Take Pests Lightly – A Comprehensive Look at the Health Dangers They Pose

The Hidden Health Risks of Pest Infestations: The Link Between Disease and Rodents, Insects, and Other Pests

How To Get Rid Of a Mouse?

What is the best way to get rid of rats at home?

How to deal with rat in garden in daylight

Who Is Responsible For Rats In a Rented Property

Wood Worm Control

Pigeon Pest Control Near Me

Pest Control Harrow

Tower Hamlets Pest Control

Seagull Nest Removal Near Me

Cluster Fly Killer

Best Way To Get Rid Of Mice

Flea Exterminator

Wolf Spider UK: Bon Accord Pest Control, Wolf Spider Control Experts

Garden Spider UK

House Spider UK – Control and Removal

Wasp Nest Removal Near Me

Wasp Exterminator

Biscuit Beetle Control

Carpet Beetle Spray

Bon Accord Best Ant Killer UK – How to Deal with Ant Infestation

Spray For Bugs

Pest Control Supermarket

Spray for Bed Bugs

Wasp Removal

Say Goodbye to Pests with Bon Accord – London’s Best Pest Control

Bed Bug Killer

London Pest Control Near Me

Mouse Deterrent

Do Mice Usually Go Upstairs

Rat Repellent

Rat Killer

Cockroach Killer London: Bon Accord Professional Extermination Services

Bird Netting Services

Bed Bug Spray

Moth Killer

Spray For Bugs in Bed

Fly Killer

Bon Accord Ant Killer -We Deal with Ant Infestations

How Common are Bed Bugs in London Hotels

Rats In Garden – Find Out How To Get Rid Of Them

What Do Ants Eat?

Best Rat Poison In The UK

Bed Bug On Mattress – How To Get Rid Of Them

Fox Deterrent And Repellents That Actually Work

How To Eradicate Bed Bugs In The Home – Bed Bug Removal

6 Signs You Have a Bed Bug Infestation – Bed Bug Exterminator Advice

Why Hiring a Professional Exterminator is the Best Way to Treat Bed Bugs

8 Bed Bugs Treatment Options

How to Avoid Bringing Bed Bugs Home from a Hotel – Bed Bugs Killers

How to Get Rid of Ants and Keep Ants Out of Your Home

False Widow Spider Control offered by Bon Accord Pest Control in London

submitted by MArtaLnd to u/MArtaLnd [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:50 Opposite_Pudding1266 AITA for telling my parents they can’t visit my family?

AITA for telling my parents they can’t visit my family?
First and foremost, I am autistic so forgive me if I seem emotionally immature. I am trying so hard to understand what I am feeling right now, but it does not come naturally.
There’s a lot of moving pieces in this story so I’m going to lay out the basics first. My (28yo/F) dad (60yo/M) is an addict. My bio mom is not in my life. My Dad is married to my step mom (50yo/F) and she is my best friend and the only mom I have ever really had.
My Dad has had substance abuse problems literally his entire life. He boasts about drinking at 8 years old and partying became his entire life as a teen/young adult. My bio mom and him had a really toxic relationship, both were addicts and had no business having kids, but regardless I am here on this earth because of their combined stupidity. They divorced when I was 7 and I was used as a pawn for my bio mom to hurt my Dad. I was forced to choose between a relationship with him or with her and lived a very abusive childhood with my bio mom and had no contact with my Dad until I turned 19.
I know it’s stupid, but I just want a real parent so bad. I’ve spent the last 9 years trying to get to know my Dad and things were going okay the first few years. My Dad had gone through a treatment program and was sober for a little bit, but relapsed after a while.
I am married and have four children of my own and because it’s not easy for us to travel 10+hours to my home town, Dad and step mom have always visited us a few times a year. That is, up until the last couple years.
I found out while my step mom was ranting one day about his addiction that when they would visit me, he was snorting his doctor prescribed morphine in my oldest kids’ (7 and 5 yo) room. I knew he had a history of abusing the meds, but thought he was just swallowing them. Step mom told me he was doing good staying sober before the trip so I agreed to allow them to visit. I didn’t know he was crushing them on my kids dresser and snorting them. He’d tell me he had a headache and that he was going to lay down, would snort them, fall asleep in my kids bed and I wouldn’t see him until hours later after I guess he had sobered up enough that I wouldn’t catch on.
I freaked out and told them they had to cancel their upcoming visit because my Dad wasn’t allowed in my home anymore until he went to treatment and I didn’t have to worry about my kids being exposed in their own home to all of it. I would never forgive myself if something happened to my kids because I let him stay in our house. Not to mention, my husband and I don’t drink or anything. Our kids don’t need their grandpa introducing them to the world of addictions.
He refuses to go to treatment, which I understand is his choice. I know I can’t force him, but I can control the presence he has in my life and my home. I was still talking to him though up until about 6 months ago. My step mom and him were on a trip and she called me to bring me into the middle of their argument where my Dad pushed her and she fell, she was trying to stop him from getting into their vehicle drunk and he was pissed.
I have some very serious mental health issues… I am diagnosed adhd, autistic, manic depressive, ptsd, anxiety, and agoraphobia. I am medicated and in therapy and thrive as best as I can,but I quite literally can’t handle or deal with the stress of any of this. So I told him I was done, I had reached my breaking point, and that if he decided to get sober again one day I would be there to support him, but until then he wasn’t going to be a part of my life.
It’s been a year and a half now since I’ve seen them and 6 months since I’ve spoken to him. Fast forward to the last week. I’ve continued speaking to my step mom and over the last week she started telling me how great my dad was doing. Going on and on about how different and sound minded he has been. Mind you, he’s still drinking and 18 pack every 2 days as far as my step mom says and that’s IF she is telling me the truth about the quantity. I think she misses me bad enough and can’t visit without my dad so I wouldn’t put it past her to embellish a little. I just kept pacifying her while mentioning that I wasn’t hopeful things had changed permanently.
Then out of the blue 4 days ago he called me. My body had an absolute visceral reaction and I was immediately thrown into a downward spiral or panic attacks and gut wrenching anxiety I hadn’t felt since I had last spoke to him. I took a couple days to calm down and gather my thoughts before I texted him telling him to call me at 8 pm after I got my kids to bed.
I thought that maybe I could give him a chance… nope! He called and within the first minute I could tell he was extremely inebriated. I know better than to confront an addict while they are under the influence though and just tried to keep my calm while I listened to his apologies for his addiction ruining our relationship while he tried to act as sober as he could. Then cried as soon as I hung up the phone.
I talked to my step mom the next morning and she was honest. She told me he had been binge drinking all day and that she told him not to call me but he did anyways. She then told me that this is just who he is and in much fluffier words that I just needed to deal with it because she wants to visit us and he has to come with her because she can’t trust him home alone.
She started looking up hotels last night and bombarding me with messages asking me about dates that I never responded to yet. I don’t want him here. I am so hurt. I am so angry. Not only am I expected to drop my boundaries, but I feel like I would be enabling his behavior if I did so. I also know it’s going to affect my mental health in a very negative way. And then I also realize it’s going to really upset my step mom if I say no. People pleasing is a real problem for me. I don’t understand people well and it affects me deeper than I can explain to upset or disappoint people.
AITAH if I tell them not to visit? I know in my gut I have to, I just need to know that my brain is acting rationally and there isn’t part of this im not seeing or understanding.
Thank you for listening if you read all of this.
submitted by Opposite_Pudding1266 to AITAH [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:49 pleasetrimyourpubes TIFU by getting plastered and totaling my car while being homeless and living out of it.

Obligatory this didn't happen today (it actually happened a month ago today). My mom died in 2021, and left me her car, well, technically she didn't, because she died without a will. While in the hospital she made it clear to my family I should get it. She died, with me by her side, but after spending a few months in her apartment while waiting for the estate to settle I couldn't handle it so I ditched with her car. While waiting for my brother to get the estate administered I lived out of the car. Figuring out how to hide amongst other cars, not getting a cop behind me, figuring out places to sleep. It was extremely stressful but I also was in a terrible mental state (lady friend issues, depression, etc). To top it off the car had a very bad oil leak that if the oil cooler activated a quart of oil would pour on the ground within minutes unless I drove it fast or floored the engine to keep the oil flowing. So I drove in small circles in places I knew were safe.
Fast forward a year and some change (selling my computer and other electronics like my switch to pay for gas and going to the food line for food). My brother tells me he got the estate settled. He sends me $150 out of the $1300 I should have got from my moms bank account. Any hope of getting the car fixed and legal was out the window (I could have fixed the gasket myself, just needed $100).
I spent a year waiting to do things the "right way" when had I simply got a job in that time and dealt with the oil leak I would have been good. This was eating at me and I had gone over 2 years without touching alcohol. I have had a history of drinking but being in the car I knew I couldn't, because I never knew when a cop would tap on my window and ask what was up with me sleeping in the car. It was my number 1 rule to not drink no matter how much I wanted to.
In Feb I decided enough was enough, I needed to get a job and stop sneaking around, it'd been months, and while winter was an excuse, being huddled in my car was not cutting it. I sold my monitors, and did the brakes on my car, got a full tank of gas. I planned to go straight to the employment office the next day.
But that same week I learned a gaming friend of mine had died. A drinking buddy. One of the best, nicest, kindest guys you could know. I would link his Reddit profile but it would expose me. Just know this guy was a pure hearted person who died way too young.
So being in a good mood (oh, and the aforementioned lady friend of mine and I had a fun conversation), having fixed up the car (mostly), and with ambition for the following days I went and got a bottle of vodka. So I could "pour one out" for my buddy. My problem is I have never, ever, been one to be able to just take a shot, get a buzz, and be OK with it. I drank the whole 1.5 liter bottle.
It came to my mind that I could go to the welfare office and get on Medicaid given that I was already homeless, and they could get me therapy, and I that could help with the mental decline I had experienced over the past year. I turned the key in my car.
I don't remember what happened next. I crashed. People banged on my window. I called 911. I got handcuffed. I spent 12 hours in jail. I was absolutely blown away they let me leave on my own recognizance. I guess because I didn't kill or hurt anyone. I confessed completely. Refused a field sobriety test and insisted on blood work. When I go into court in a little over a month I will plead guilty and accept responsibility for what I did.
I fucked up. And if it angers you that I drank and drove, it angers me more. I have always hated it when people did that and never in a million years thought I would ever do it.
Please don't drink and drive, you could have gone through a miserable set of circumstances like me, and wound up looking at 20+ years in prison and destroying someone else's life in the process. I am (we are) so lucky I didn't do that and I will tell the judge that.
TL;DR lived out of my car homeless, drank and drove and totaled my car, go to court in a month or so and going to plead guilty.
submitted by pleasetrimyourpubes to tifu [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:48 Appropriate_War5127 could we just make up another holiday?

I know this question is stupider than most questions on here but I was thinking about Halloween and how badly it sucks to really have only 1 holiday where you dress up (at least in the U.S). Suddenly a thought popped into my head why not just make another holiday? At first I was like oh of course not. You can't do that! But...why not? Do holidays have to have a cultural importance? A history? Could I just get a bunch of people who want to dress up and party on a certain date and call it a holiday? I mean as long as its different from Halloween or any other holiday it should be fine??
submitted by Appropriate_War5127 to NoStupidQuestions [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:48 StarryNight7z [REQ] ($30) (#SLC, UT, USA) (Repay $40 on 4/10) (Cashapp, Venmo)

Hi, first time on here. I’m really in need of some groceries, I’m almost completely out after paying my power bill. I have a little history of repaying small loans on venmo/cashapp if wanted. I’m expecting a check and some birthday money (yay!) beginning of April so repayment will be 100% no problem. Thank you for any consideration.
submitted by StarryNight7z to borrow [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:47 Perfectstorms29 26F looking for a genuine friendship

I’m looking for a friend who’s a girl. It’s been some time since I last had friends (we can talk about this in detail) and I feel the void every day. I would really like someone genuine and likeminded to talk to. I’m from Canada, so wherever you are from, at least we will have each other online. My underground was in biomedical science and my masters is in public health, and I’m working in healthcare. I have a lot of interests and enjoy having fun! My interests include listening to music, all kinds, I love Taylor swift, twilight, LOTR, history, TV and movies (currently going through a Christian bale phase, does it ever leave?) in general! I try to stay up to date with current shows and movies. Something about me is that I’m loyal for life and I’ll always be there, and I hope to find that in a friend as well. Message me if you think it would be a good fit!
submitted by Perfectstorms29 to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:47 Perfectstorms29 26F looking for a genuine long term friendship

I’m looking for a friend who’s a girl. It’s been some time since I last had friends (we can talk about this in detail) and I feel the void every day. I would really like someone genuine and likeminded to talk to. I’m from Canada, so wherever you are from, at least we will have each other online. My underground was in biomedical science and my masters is in public health, and I’m working in healthcare. I have a lot of interests and enjoy having fun! My interests include listening to music, all kinds, I love Taylor swift, twilight, LOTR, history, TV and movies (currently going through a Christian bale phase, does it ever leave?) in general! I try to stay up to date with current shows and movies. Something about me is that I’m loyal for life and I’ll always be there, and I hope to find that in a friend as well. Message me if you think it would be a good fit!
submitted by Perfectstorms29 to Needafriend [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:46 Outside_Barnacle_762 Loss mitigation question / idea.

To start out, I think it's cool that the mitigation system was put in in general. HOWEVER, I do have a curious question about the "coin-flip" issue. The idea to climb is to play well, and by playing well you win games. That is the basic logic. But, let's say as a support, you play on point each game for 10 games in a row. Meaning, low deaths, assists for kill participation is 55%+, having kills as a plus, vision score is 30+.
With all those things in mind, again using support as an example (but can apply to all lanes), they end up losing 6 of the 10 games. Now with the current LP system that is a pretty hefty loss for someone actually playing well. If you get inters, people who dc on and off or just overall people who had a terrible game. What is preventing a patch being made to allow mitigation for someone who did well according to stats?
The game already has all of the info in the system as it shows after each game. Many websites also have a reading system for how someone does.
The reason I bring this up is that for people who are trying to climb, or newer people giving rank a shot. It feels very much against you unless you get a good coinflip on the teammates you get. I think that is the REAL reason why people are "hard stuck" more often than not. Simply due to no matter how much they do amazing at the game. It's just not winnable every game and those LP losses just add up. Especially since they limited que dodging players that have trolling game histories or just full tilt history.
But back to the main question, why can't we have a system for individual players and performance? That would boost mentality knowing that if you lose you are not back to square one for doing well. Overall playing the game won't feel as punishing to players as it does now.
Thank You
Note: I looked around and did not find a topic / answer specific to this question.
submitted by Outside_Barnacle_762 to leagueoflegends [link] [comments]

2023.03.21 20:45 FirstAd6848 What tests, imaging to get if most of it is covered?

Hi all,
got a really good health plan but not for much longer. overweight. BMI 31, History of high cholesterol, on and off. and late 40s right now.
I am covered by a plan that covers quite a lot as far as testing and imaging is concerned and I would like to use this up while I can. I plan on seeing a cardiologist eventually but where I live i can't get an appointment quickly. So i would like to as my PCP to order as much testing as I can while i am under this plan.
Any advice for scans or additional tests would be appreciated? chest CT, chest MRI? just heard about getting calcium score so that maybe something else.
just got the labs done and I have this:
Cholesterol275 mg/dL
Triglycerides161 mg/dL
HDL54 mg/dL
VLDL Cholesterol Cal30 mg/dL
LDL Chol Calc (NIH) 191 mg/dL

Glucose 108
Bun creat ratio 22
Albumin / Globulin (5.3/1.8 = 1.8)
still awaiting Apo-B results
CBC and metabolic panel values are all within norms other than the glucose. still waiting for testosterone numbers.

Started exercising with the goal of getting in shape and am now watching what I eat.
How much time should i give myself for diet and exercise to see if i can get the cholesterol numbers down before meds?
Should i get onto some meds already at this point? are there one off treatments for meds that I can take before i lose insurance?

Blood pressure is ~ 125/70.
I need to fix my sleep. averaging 5h per night.
taking oral minox, finasteride (hair loss), trintellix, and amphetamines for ADHD

thank you very much
submitted by FirstAd6848 to askCardiology [link] [comments]