Jacob Chasler was exhausted. It had been 9 days since the bombing of pearl and jacob had been inside the spare office in the conference building for practically all of that time - signing papers, sending requests, approving resource allocation - and thankfully the port was almost entirely repaired - thanks to strange small yellow birds - with the errant pile of rubble here and there.
Thankfully - mercifully - jacob hadnt been alone. Having been assisted by kuybyshev, Z23, and theseus when they would come into the office for the day to help - but there was only so much help that could provide with there being so much paper work that jacob had to stay up long nights to get as much of it done.
This night was one of those nights. Jacob was currently, signing and reviewing his current paper work with caffeine induced zeal - hoping to get as much done before he invariably and innevitably crashes.
As jacob finally finishes his current stack of paper work, he hears the door to the office creak open. Jacob looks up and finds the newest member of azur lane - HMS daedalus - standing near the door way, looking at him with a questioning look.
"Hello daedalus," jacob says "Why are you here so late at night?" He asks her, only for her to respond by walking towards the offices coach and sitting down on it.
Jacob just stares at daedalus with tired drooping eyes for a few moments, before grabbing his mug of coffee and getting up to get another cup. "Want some?" Jacob asks, only for daedalus to shake her head. As jacob fills up his cup, daedalus finally begins to speak.
"Lord Commander chasler," she started, "i wanted to come here tonight to ask you a question" she finishes as jacob walks over to the same couch she was on and sits on it.
"Shoot." Jacob says before he takes a sip of coffee. Daedalus takes in a short breath before she began to speak.
"Why did you have me manifested? While i was with akashi and mrs.yuubari the other day, they revealed to me that you discovered my cube in a random pile of rubble - what couldve compelled you to knowingly manifest a cube that by all accounts could have been a trap set by tbe sirens?" She finally finishes with a deep exhale.
At this jacob is left in contemplation. Why did he have daedalus manifested? Why did he feel compelled to trust that the cube that he had found was an ally to humanity - even when it could have been a ploy used by the sirens to infiltrate the port? As jacob thinks about his response, he finally comes to two realizations - the first one is that the only reason why he had her manifested is because her unconsciousness from the cube experienced true emotion - not the fascimile of emotion and thought that humanoid siren cubes apparently sent out, when they were in contact with humans - it experienced fear, hope, determination, despair and happiness - all the emotions that make kansan and humans the same.
Jacobs second realization is that his exhaustion had finally caught up to him, so he did the only thing he could think of. He put down his coffee on the table - took off his hat and put it down - and promptly passed out.
Daedalus seeing this was first showed a face a suprise, before it turned into a light smile as she gazed upon his sleeping form.
"Idiot" she slightly chuckled out.

As jacob consciousness slowly returned from the sweet embrace of sleep, he was confused. He felt a strange warmth and strange softness where his head was at.
At first jacob thought that his pillow had just taken an abnormal amount of heat from his body while he was sleeping, but then he remembered that he didnt get to his living quarters last night. The final nail in the coffin was when he slightly pinched the soft thing and heard a soft sigh after he did that, followed by a voice.
"I hope you didnt do that on purpose lord commander" the voice said with a serious overtone but with a subtle teasing undertone. After that jacob opened his eyes at lightning speeds and saw - with near horror - that he was laying in daedalus's lap.
As he was assesing his situation, he noticed that daedalus had actually taken off her trench coat, revealing that she wore a white dress shirt underneath - and to jacobs embarrasment and near astonishment- revealed a generous bust.
As this is happening, daedalus looks at jacob with a slight smile and amusement in her eyes. After a few moments daedalus speaks again.
"Well lord commander, since you've been working near non-stop for thr past several days, it would be best for you take a break" she finishs. At that jacob could on slightly nod in agreement, as he once again - slowly - relaxes back into her lap.
After a few moments, daedalus begins humming a tune - a soft somber tune, that spoke of loss, but of also hope of returning. Jacob and daedalus went on like this for a while until eventually, jacob had decided that it time to resume working, and daedalus had left, saying that she had things to do at the royal navys dorms.
And thus, a new routine was born

elsewhere
Observer alpha was laughing. Genuine laughter. She was laughing at how fast daedalus and the commander had cosied up to each other - with daedalus even letting the commander sleep on her lap.
"Oh how this anomaly continues to intrigue and amuse me" she said after she stopped laughing.
Observer then turned to look behind her, gazing upon the figure standing behind her. The figure had long platinum hair, a red hair bow, blue eyes, and wore a short red and black dress skirt, with a breast piece barely concealing her chest - accompanied by detached shoulder cloth that were held together with metalic pieces of cloth - and lastly, around her ankles and hands were metal cuffs, attaching her to her rigging and false metal halo.
"My dear fortune, would you be a dear and interfere with their commisions~" observer said - she wasnt asking, and they both knew that if fortune didnt do as she was told that she would cubed.
"Y-y-yes observer alpha" fortune said as she quickly exited the room. A few moments after fortune left, observer spoke again to outloud.
"While she may not be the best suited for this, she will do just fine to collect the data i require~" observer finished with a malicous smile as she used her console to view fortune as she skated in the water - heading towards azur lane.
"Thats one step of the plan down, just several hundred left until we are free of this hell" she says as she proceeds to her console - attaching the errant cables to her interface.

Being an aRPG fan for more then 20 years, i think i've played all major releases in these times (have you played the second Titan Quest add-on? Well, i did :) ), starting from Diablo 2. I've played D1 only couple of years ago. Enjoyed it from the "touch the history" perspective. And i have some thoughts about the upcoming release. Will (at least) try to hold this theme in a way that common sense dictates. So, let you all be open-minded to another people's opinions, calm down and let's talk.
Due to some IRL stuff i couldnt play all characters, but tried 3.5/5 of them - being the Necromancer, the Sorceress, the Rogue and 0.5 stands for the Big Boi Barbarian, because i've leveled him to some extend, but not to 25 - thus can't say much about build diversity of this particular individual.
And oh boy, i have things to say.
I guess i will start not from pros and cons, but from theme to a theme, and both pros and cons will be inside of each one.
Let's start.
​
**Graphics.**
​
The highly subjective stuff. Keep that in mind.
When D2 came out it revolutionazed the genre, both mechanically and visually. It developed D1 aspects to an extreme extent. People tend to say that D2 graphics are almost ideal. But why? Because this aspect of the game consists of very, very big amount of those big and small things that all make the big picture. Some of them are: color scheme, design and clarity. And all of these 3 are important in the same value.
Diablo 2 had dark color scheme, a medieval visual design with quite some amount of gothic elements and a decent amount of visual clarity on the screen. While playing it you could not only your character, but everything that was happening on the screen. And only in very, very dense situations you started to have problems with it. But that is the problem of every and every aRPG i've played, so i guess this can be considered "a norma".
Path of Exile, for example, also has a dark color scheme, european medieval themed design with aztec elements in it, and visual clarity that bad that developers actually sell a way to diable your auras and skill effects (one per purchase, ofcourse :D) in the game so in the actual fight you can see stuff that is going on.
Diablo 3's color palette was definately more vibrant, colorfull and bright then D2. More... Cartoonish. And that was both good and bad at the same time. Yes, it was new to the player base and a large portion of people did not appreciate that descendance from the roots. *To be honest with you all, i think that a lot of those people cry that D3 is a piece of stinky s**t at every glance of that game being mentioned anywhere in their infofield solely because of this. Two of my friends are guilty of this, and this is fracking embaracing.* BUT it provided the substantial amount of visual clarity to the game. Exactly becuase of the very high visual contrast and adequate mob density, spacing and modeling you always know what is happening on the screen, apart from the same situations you starting to loose visual control in D2 - the extreme density ones with enemies of different size and variety. Visual design of D3 is, to my liking (reminder here - a HIGHLY SUBJECTIVE STUFF), is better then in D2 because of a lot more gothic-styled elements. I just like that.
So, after all that i've said before, visuals of Diablo 4 Act I did not strike my heart. No, visuals are not bad, not at all. I think this is the best i've seen in an industry from the technical point of view. Clutter is scattered not brainlessly, but each item has it's own purpose to not brake the immersion. More on that later. But the color palette is too washed out. The visual design is *just* an european medieval, without any gothic elements whatsoever. It becomes very blunt, tedious pretty fast and apart from one(sic!) dungeon out of what, 20 or something like this, the picture you're looking at blends into one grey mass. Try to name one place that stands out other then that gore-themed dungeon (and last mission of Act I campaign wich is basicly the same place). The visuals of D4 aI are immersive at times, very technically advanced, but dull. Let's see what surprises Kehjistan and Hawezar prepare to us ;)
Yes, that was long enough. Time to continue!
​
**World building**
​
When you walk through the city, you suddenly start to believe that actual people are living in the actual damn city. Apart from the New Tristram, for example. Dialogues are placed very immersively. Things you can touch and / or talk to all add another layer. Did you click on that table in the war room when talking to the bald lady with tattoed head (dont remmeber her name)? :) If you do you know that there are a lot of red marks and arrows on that wartable and all of them are pointed towards the "glorious city of Caldeum"! Did you see that Iron Maiden that was present in last mission was actually located before that very same war room and even more - you could talk to a priest standing nearby and ask why the hell this thing is here? He would tell you some interesting things. And those mini-events are spreaded out everywhere. This is how you should make people immersed into your game.
The one thing i'd like this game to get from D3 is different vendor's stories to be tied to the game's lore. I enjoyed having the same Shen and Haedrig from aI to aIV with Myriam joining in aV to the Team Nephalem. Throught the campaign Shen and Headrig had pretty interesting lines to say about the situation. Especially Shen. Well, technincally Shen was from aII but you get the point.
I missed the same in D4. Vendors are just random people without any lore behind them.
​
**Technical state.**
​
It was a beta-test, aimed to stress-test the servers and check overall stability of the game. And, at the moment of beta-test, that looked pretty bad to be honestly. Continuous rubber-banding problems and pocket losses. But Blizzard have 2.5 months to fix those problems, and i know that their technical engineers can do really magical stuff sometime. Look at the BfA or Legion starts. They were buttery smooth. Hope dies last, i guess.
But what i do have big concerns, it is about the loading stutters. I guess that is happening because of some problems with asset loading mechanics and that can not be fixed in the time remains before launch. Did not bother me a lot by the way, but a lot of people may (and will) find it frustrating.
​
**Itemization**
​
I'm not gonna compare it to PoE or even Last Epoch itemisation. If LE's system is not the same league as D4's, then PoE's is not even the same universe. PoE itemisation system is the first one that made me realise that i am too stupid for something.
So, i've found D4's one... Mediocre. At best.
White and blue items were not picked up by anyone even in beta. Even rings and amulets. They will have the same fate as D3 item's do - either left on the floor or straight into the grinder, without looking at the item. Better let it be like in D3's last season lol - let mobs drop salvaging reagents and save us all some time and not braking the combat flow.
The amount of stats on items is very small in both value of sheer numbers and variety. Stats are very, VERY situational, but in my opinion, that is even better then having general CHD / CHC / CDR / Area Damage on every item equipped, like we have in D3. You can either laser-focus your items to your build or make mediocre gear that will work in any situations. In my opinion, this variety is great.
Ookey, and now that part where i asked you to be open-minded? This is the time :) Or you will throw rotten tomatoes at me all at once, i dont know.
*Runewords in Diablo 2's variant are bad*. Hoy hoy, stop right there! Let me explain.
Tell me, dear reader, in Diablo 2, when was the last time you equipped a yellow weapon on your sorc? A yellow shield on your paladin? A yellow chestpiece on any of the characters? Oh, and here's your answer - "when i was leveling before i could do Baal runs". And even before them you have NPC literally giving to you RalOrtTal runeword that you will put in the shield and will never drop till you run the level that does not exist, get 4s monarch and make a Spirit.
*Runewords make 99% of all items in the game in this particular slot obsolete*. Exclusions are quite rare and almost all of them are uniques. How these items are different from the set pieces?
***Yes, i am for the runes, but not in Diablo 2 way.*** For example - make them add value to the item. Or add value to stats. Or add new stats to the existing item, whether it be yellow or legendary or rare. Change the base needed from only grey item to any item in the game.
Crafting is basicly non-existent at this moment. I'm not asking system where you can craft an item through 6 different systems (im looking at you, PoE), but come on, at least something.
Trading is basicly non-existent at this moment. I'm not asking about the auction house, but at least for some kind of a trading board where you can write "have X, want Y or else". Even D2R has it in it's own form.
​
**the GOLD situation**
​
Personally i found that on the beta gold wasnt the problem whatsoever. I've managed to upgrade my characters up to pre-last upgrades very fast (e.g. within an hour on all three characters combined), and i really don't think that anyone will need to do more then that.
Respec cost was also (and will also be) not a problem whatsoever. That depends on the scaling, but i guess to respec all ~60 points in the tree (with all potential locations skill bonus points unlocked) will cost us probably 20-50k gold. And that is even if you will want to change your whole build on lvl 50. One full inventory in beta was worth ~18-30k gold, and will cost even more on high lvls. That's some quick maths for ya.
The gold will not be a problem at one moment. And that moment will not be far in the endgame, many people are just exagerrating.
​
***UI***
​
Oh. My. God.
Slap the UI designer teamlead on the wrists and just redo it.
Character panel. Map. Statistics. Descriptions. Everything is made poorly, non-intuitive and unresponsive.
Why ditching the old, comfy, character screen where items were "equipped" on your character schematic picture, for this Diablo Immortal abomination?
Map overlay where?
Statistics screen is one big pile of everything.
Item descriptions are so big and unoptimized that sometimes you have to scroll to see your legendary affix on that item.
Just... No.
​
**Class designs.**
​
Oof. On some classes i thought that devs actually forgot to activate "Skill Page #2" button. But let's do class by class, from the ones that i've tried. Let's call it the "page #2" situation, okey?
Also a disclamer - i will talk about the mechanics and skill interactions. ***Not about the numbers.*** You can just draw an additional 0 in the end of all Druid numbers and *suddenly* whole community will praise this class. Class that does small numbers is not the bad class, it has the bad damage. And vice versa. E.g. i get it, numbers go brrrr, but come on - we're gonna play this game for a very long time and we want to play it without a finger in the bottoms.
​
As a Necromancer i found that they took Diablo 3's Necromancer, cut his tree in half, made some homages to D2's one, slapped 4 passives and 3 new active skills and called it a day. I mean, i understand that D3's Necro was both step up and step down from D2's. It had really, really good moments, but also had some abilities just not implemented. Like teeth, poison nova or cage. In the end, D3's necro came out a bit rushed out, some mechanics were not working either properly or as intended, but as a WHOLE it was extremely fun to play. Mechanics were not too complicated, but deep enough. Diablo 3 Necromancer was as intended - a guardian of balance. Both in lore and in mechanics. Class designers brought new ways to work with corpses, necro's second resource. Devour, Corpse Lance, Land of the Dead, all this was intended to work in tandem in corpse-oriented builds.
Diablo 4's Necromancer has, well, corpse explosion and tendrils. THAT'S IT. And this is the whole ability spectrum for his resource? Pitiful.
On the other hand, class as a whole has a very interesting potential. Blood Lance build has nice single target damage, but requires the lance to stay for at least 5 seconds in targets, 3 is too low. Bone spear is also a great one. A consistent way to proc vulnerability. Some other builds that i've found working quite fine. But the sheer amount of abilities and their synergies are very small in numbers.
​
Wich is a good point of talking about Rogues. Remember "page #2" situation? Well, divide skills that you have by 2 once more! Because the difference between range rogue and melee rogue is very, very distinct and limits the amount of spenders (e.g. almost the only damage source) to two for the melee and 3 for the ranged specs. Two skills for the melee rogue to choose from? Wo-hoo, bring me the theorycraters!
Also, the tree is very limited for the free skillpoints that you will be able to spend. Count with me. You will take Shadow Imbuement because otherwise clearing a dungeon will be a pain. You will take Consuming Shadows (30 energy regen when kill a target with shadow damage) because this way you will have effecively infinite energy (before boss). You will take Dash because duh. You will take Dark Shroud because it's a 50% damage reduction, for pete's sake, also 10% more crit chance. And these nodes alone take 11 points out of your build. Nodes that are mandatory, because if you will not take them class will be unplayable - becuase starts to lack other resource regeneration, survivability or clear speed. Effectively you will not shoot your foot, you will shove your foot into the grinder and press "on" button with a maniacal laugh. Throw here usual 2 points to start the character (or 3 if you want vulnerability or minor energy regen), 7 points in spender and you get whole 11+3+7=21 points hardlocked, living you with total of 5 points to give your character some utility. On level 50 that will be easier, but also remember that Shadow Imbuement will loose it's weight right at the moment when you will stop oneshoting trashmobs, therefore forcing you to take Poison Imbuement.
Gameplay-wise rogue is so crispy though. This is the only class i actually ***ENJOYED*** playing. It was generally fun. But each time i've opened my skill tree to change something and seeing that i can do only so much, the feeling of sadness was filling my soul... This class is two absolutely different classes blended together, requires a lot of work, and sadly enough "page #2" situation is as acute as ever.
​
I can't say that about the Sorceress though. The starting point was great, the leveling was great, the "endgame" was great, the balance was f**king abhorrent. Sorc takes all of it's defensive skills with one common affix on a gear. The only class that can kill the Butcher solo without taking any damage AND legendary affixes on it's gear. Has very good amount of CC, absolbrs, immunes. This requires a substantial nerf and it ***will*** be nerfed. Blizzard hates when you can slap infinite invulnerability on your character and call it a day, so dont expect frost blades build be alive on release.
The "page #2" situation is still here, though not as acute as in the Rogue class. The problem is that, compaired to D2 she gained mechanics, ofcourse, became quite deeper, but compaired to both D2 and especially D3, sadly, our beloved chineese girl lost a lot of knowledge. Melee focused abilities - gone. Copies - gone. Different meteors - gone. Diamond skin - redesigned, and i personally dont like the animation. Etc. etc. etc. BUT the lack of sheer skill numbers she outweights by mechanics and skill interractions... I could even say they're good! This class feels like it was done as a first one and polished enough for the people to test.
​
About our Big Boi Barbarian (Druid is the Chunky Boi) i can tell that he was also taken from Diablo 3. From Dust Devils and Vortex on WW to HoTA, Ancients and Shouts mechanics (some of them are a homage to D2, wich is respectable).
Leveling him to 20 was a painful process and i started to take a glance on what BBB can become, but beta ended. I guess he will be the most straightforward class with 1 button usage, but only when you get enough legendary powers. Especially two of them - Fortify for rage spent and Rage regeneration while a shout is on. Why are these powers on a gear and NOT in a talent tree i can't say. Without them the existence is truly miserable.
And come on, add a fifth basic ability. Where is my weapon throw?
​
As i've stated before, i didnt even touch the druid, but i've heard that it has a good chunk (pun intended) of abilities and synergies and, as a result, quite an interesting playstyle. The only thing he lacks is the actual damage. But again, that's just a matter of slapping additional zero to his numbers.
​
So, in the end, in class designs my biggest concerns are rogues and necromancers.
​
***Ending words***
At the moment of open beta, this game had tremendous flaws and tremendous upsides. Some of them flaws can be easily fixed. Some of them cries for redesigning choices being made. But in the end, as for me personally, i will play Diablo 4, of course. BUT only when the season starts and not before. First two weeks will actually be some kind of a beta-test to check how their servers work en mass, some balance patches, gold cost reductions, crucial bugfixes etc etc.
See you all when the season starts!
P.S. This post will be on both US/EU D4 forums and the d4 subreddit.

Galactic Social Dynamic: A funny thing happened on the way home from Cith... (GSD #86)
--: Two days into the return trip to Alliance Headquarters.
Dullin Sector. :--
Shoal, Gleve and Van were sitting in Shoal's private cabin on their way back from the Ancin Clan's holdings. The three were currently enjoying a brief game of the Phodian classic sa. It was a card game played around helping others find their matching cards while keeping your own.
"I need a mountain." Shoal eyed Van.
"Go fish." Van smirked.
Shoal grumbled and drew a card. Once he saw it he smirked devilishly.
"I still love the fact that both our species came up with this game!" Gleve smiled, not noticing Shoal's grin. "I need a mill."
Vanput the card on the table in front of Gleve. "I still can't believe that changing the images makes it fun again."
"It's a perspective trick. Your brain knows its basically the same, but new shiny packaging makes it fun." Shoal chuckled. "Dad used to tell me he could get me the same calculator every year..."
"Gonna visit him more, I take it?" Van asked. "I need a predator."
Shoal nodded, "I thought I'd have more time." And put down a predator card.
Gleve nodded, "It will be worth it."
"Just be glad the tests showed you as negative for the trait " Van said.
"And Giio and Sekaz are positive." Shoal sighed. "Can't be an engineer forever I guess."
Van blinked and stared in shock.
"You mean you would take over?" Gleve clarified.
Shoal nodded. "If they both got it early, yeah. I need clan mates."
Gleve's cheeks puffed as he put three clan mates on the table.
"Knew it." Shoal chuckled as he picked up the cards.
Van sighed. "Brace yourselves."
Shoal sighed as he flew across the room and skidded into a wall. He sat for a moment as nothing else happened.
"Did we hit someone?" Gleve asked.
"Alert went out over devices. Debris came out of a hyper jump." Van stood and checked his weapons. "Mix of Scareek and human."
Shoal stood up. "We'll join you."
Gleve nodded. "You shouldn't go alone."
Van nodded. "I'll inform the Captain of the ship."
-(GSD)---(GSD)-
Two hours later the three were on a shuttle docking with a large chunk of a human military vessel.
"Band code says this is EIN Nimitz." Shoal read it off. "Damn, she was a beauty too."
Van remained silent as he activated his mag boots and walked in. As soon as his boots made contact his systems alerted him to a remaining life pod with life signs. The cyborg moved without hesitation. Shoal and Gleve followed.
"It's jammed." Shoal said as he came up on the pod. "Life support has been off for a day or two, oxygen has to be low."
"We can spring it free like billiards ball." Gleve said.
Van looked over at Gleve. "Though you were the animal guy?"
"Billiards are fun. So is pool. Physics applied to a game." Gleve smiled through his visor.
"That's Gleve for you. As Phodian as he is, give him math and angles and he is happier than me with a new wrench." Shoal snorted. "He's right though."
The two then noticed that Van was locked on looking into the viewing window. Shoal motioned for Gleve to help him look in and Shoal gasped.
"Gleve, get the lead out. That's a human kit!" Shoal scrambled down as fast as zero gravity would let him.
Gleve grabbed his friend and put him on the ground safely. "Calm down first. This is pure vacuum."
Shoal stopped and nodded. He pulled up his suit cons, "Feoto, this is volunteer away team 5. We have a survivor in a jammed life pod. Human youngling."
"Team 5, get the youngling if you can without risking yourselves." The flat tone of a bridge officer responded.
Shoal responded with, "I dunno, I was thinking about swimming in vacuum. Get med teams ready." He then cut the com.
"You okay Van?" Gleve asked
"She has maybe two hours left." Van said, "How fast to unjam and return it?"
"Three hours at best." Gleve said with a defeated sigh.
Van nodded. "I hate vacuum exposure."
He then plunged his hand through the glass where a gray metallic film sealed the damage. Then his suit slowly began to break down and turn into a similar film.
"Van?" Shoal shouted as the connection to the suit dropped.
Shoal and Gleve watched in horror as Van's body reacted to the exposure of space. Then there was a message on their coms.
"Get her out. Nanites are making a bubble around her and connecting her to my air supply. Bring us both back, nanites will do the work for me."
Shoal stared in horror. He had known the codename of "Immortal" was very literal when applied to Van, but this was something his brain was simply refusing to process.
Gleve however was right at work. He understood the brief and painful sacrifice Van had made. Van was protecting the extended herd and Gleve would do as he was asked.
"Shoal, I need your help." Gleve said with a grunt.
Shoal shook his head and focused on the task. "The door isn't jammed. We need power."
"I have an idea then" Gleve smiled and pulled a section off the wall, then he took a flashlight off of Van's belt.
"Good idea." Shoal handed off his flashlight. "The place still has some power, there must be a generator nearby." Shoal pointed to running lights on the floor.
Gleve shook his head. "Humans make those self powered."
Shoal nodded then stopped. "Oh I'm gonna regret this." He pulled out a multi-purpose tool and used it to cut out part of the floor.
"Shoal!" Gleve hissed.
"Gleve, you were partly right. They got their own batteries." Shoal smirked as he reached in and began to pull up wires. "Repurpose these for yours, I'll get these ones."
Gleve blinked and nodded, once again reminded why his friend was a Chief Engineer.
"Gleve. Do me a favor." Shoal said.
"What?" Gleve asked.
"Get all of us back." Shoal said as he handed a wire to Gleve. "I have to tie these off live."
Gleve nodded and understood. Shoal would likely be unconscious in the hours after this risk. Gleve steeled himself for the work ahead as he secured the wires properly into the life pod controls
Shoal then practically dove into the hole he had made, half his body sticking out. Then there was a flicker and everything came to life in the pod.
Gleve moved and opened the door in one swift movement the door unsealed and Van's arm was released as his hand held a thin metallic hose. Gleve scrambled past it and grabbed the soft orb structure that held the human youngling, then shifted his spine and strapped the strange container to his shell.
From there he moved to Shoal and gently moved his body out of the hole. His life signs were still strong on the readouts of the external parts of the suit, but the com connection was destroyed. Still, Gleve picked up his friend and secured him to his torso.
Finally he grabbed Van's currently incapacitated form and pulled it along back to their shuttle. There he put Shoal on a medical table and sat Van down. With the orb his nanites had made off to the side. Then he re-engaged the artificial gravity and began to pilot the shuttle back.
It was silent for twenty minutes.
"Ahhh!" Van's shout nearly caused Gleve to veer into debris on their return.
"You look terrible." Gleve said as Van spent a few minutes recovering.
"Feel like a spring daisy." Van said as he pulled out a small blade and gently cut into the orb.
"Is she okay?" Gleve asked with concern.
Van nodded as he lifted her and went to put her on the medical table where he saw Shoal. "Right, that's what knocked me out."
"You were conscious until then?" Gleve asked in horror.
Van nodded as he walked over while carrying the girl. He sat down and sighed as he brushed the strings of black hair out of the girl's face.
"Not a pleasant thing to experience." Van said simply. "Did not expect to be electrocuted though."
"He will be fine. He has..." Gleve grunted in annoyance, "Experience with this tactic."
Van laughed. "Sounds about right. Let's get back, yeah?"
Gleve nodded.
-(GSD)---(GSD)-
Shoal woke up later, he wasn't sure how much later, but he was sure others were around him.
"Go fish!" Another human voice said, it was younger and female.
Shoal groaned as he lifted himself up.
"You're up." Van smiled from a table at the base of Shoal's infirmary bed.
Gleve was smiling with him as well. There was also a young human girl with jet black hair.
"Were there others?" Shoal asked.
"Not in the field, but shuttles went into hyper to search. We found four more filled with survivors from a civilian attack." Van sighed. "Nimitz' crew refused to take life pods so they could." There was a clear haunted look in Van's eyes, but Shoal watched him shake it off for now.
"Mama and papa didn't make it either." The girl sniffled.
"I'm Shoal." Shoal scooted forward and held out his hand.
"Jessica Alden" The girl smiled. "You're a Civeet!"
Shoal smiled. "I am. I assume my friend introduced themselves."
Jessica nodded.
"We're taking them back. Getting a favor from Emma for Jessica here." Van said as he tossed down a pair of wheat cards.
"I got no one else." Jessica sniffled.
"Well, until you find a new one, we shall be your herd." Gleve nodded.
"Clan is important." Shoal smiled. "Now deal me in."
Gleve smiled and collected all the cards once more. He wasn't happy with all the tragedy, but he was more than happy to help a human find a herd.
////
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Spotify!
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S: I'm not crying... Yes I am.
Wraith: Stop making adorable characters suffer.
S: Its war! This happens!
DM: Especially when you ignore travel warnings.
Wraith: Yeah.
S: Also invited onion ninjas...
DM: Why?
S: (shrugs). Anyway, a bit of a malaise has taken me. I might be taking a break from writing soon for a week or something. Just need to defog the brain a bit.

Hey everyone,
​
I hoped to never find this place, but I need to, just, write.
​
My girlfriend of 5 years wants to break up with me. And I'm completely devastated. She's my world, my emotional and mental support, and I saw her as someone that I would grow old with.
​
We've known each other for 5,5 years after I crashed her 18th birthday party. After about half a year, we were in love with each other and started our relationship. Those 5 years since have had it's ups and downs. We're both not perfect in any way, but we loved each other for who we are.
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She feels like the female version of myself. We always have our little inside jokes. We both have the same humor, we love being childish with each other (the good way, just playing together). She was perfect. Perfect for me.
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Her parents also welcomed me with open arms, and some did mine her. I felt so at home. She was my peace of mind, and happiness.
​
But a few days ago, we got into a talk.
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See, I've been struggling the last 2 years a little with myself. I've had some issues and she helped me push through. Sadly, over the years, I got less and less confident, which is something that was noticed of course.
​
It initially started with less sex, which was a bummer as I was still very much interested. This was something that was sad to me, but I accepted it as I still love her immensely, even if we would have less sex.
​
But a few days ago, I told her I was not too comfortable with how close she was growing to one of my friends. Looking back, this may just be a manifestation of my unconfident self. I love both those people to death, and they have always been friends. There probably was nothing to worry about.
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Nevertheless, I did end up telling her, and she was taken aback a bit. I told her I'm not blaming her, I just wanted to tell her how I felt.
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Fast forward 2 days, and me and my girlfriend were going to get a cup of coffee. Coincidentally, me friends were also close, so they joined her. I was still in the gym and joined them later, but when I arrived, it was just the two of them.
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This kind of pissed me off and while my girlfriend greeted me with her typical enthusiasm, I was a little cold.
​
On the way back, we talked about it, and things spiralled from there. ( I know this is not the case, but I hate myself for treating her so cold when she was so happy to see me again)
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We were talking about my mental health, hers, and how things were going between us.
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See, we severely lack communication. We are so good together, have so much fun, laugh always, but we don't really talk about important, underlying feelings.
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And that's something that obviously bothered her. And me. We talked and she says she had this feeling for a while and that she feels done. Empty. And that she doesn't know if she wants to continue with me anymore.
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We've had a serious and emotional talk 4 months earlier as well, but then something important happened that took precedent and we never really revisited it.
​
After that heavy talk, she went to her parents and I to mine. We live together and both needed some time to let things sink in.
​
We met today again, and she was very adamant on breaking up. She got to our apartment with the intent of actually breaking up.
​
I told her several things that I believe in my heart. I think it's a waste if we break up now, right on the edge of discovering something that's been holding us back for so long. I want to give it an honest, 100% try to talk and communicate the way we should. And see how that goes.
​
She didn't feel that way and wanted to break off our 5 years together.
​
As much as I love my girlfriend, if she has her mind set on something, she rarely backs down. And I fear that this situation is the result of many months of not talking about things, keeping it to herself, and letting it grow out of control.
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I did say something that made her reconsider, and now we're meeting up in 3 days (taking a break from each other) to see if she wants to give it an honest go. It's going to be a yes or no, make or break talk.
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I'm dreading it. I'm fearing the worst. I honestly cannot imagine a life without this wonderful person.
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Yes we've had our issues. I feel like she has the need to reinvent herself every 12-18 months. And the first thing to go is typically me. We've had a similar scenario about 2 years into our relationship, when things started to get real between us.
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I asked her if she wanted to not be with me, or if she's scared about how real things were getting between us. It ended up being the latter and we continued for many good years.
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It's so difficult. We clearly love and care about each other so much. I can see the pain in her eyes, and I feel mine.
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I absolutely broke down when she put my crying head between her 2 hands, looked me in the eye, and told me just how much she cares about me and loves me. Regardless of what's going to happen between us.
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She also mentioned that she just doesn't see a future with me anymore. She says we have different goals in life, which ultimately is true, but only to an extent. We both want to achieve things, and the most important things line up. We both want to travel, do good things and be successful, both health-wise and financial.
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Most things line up, with just a few differences here and there. She's much more extrovert than me, and I' much more of an introvert.
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It hurts so much. This was the woman I wanted to see as the mother of my children, my wife, my companion.
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And it all came so sudden. We just started living together (7 months now), and literally this week we've been talking about trips to Rome, Thailand, and many other plans for the coming years.
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The morning of our first talk, we woke up so happy next to each other. She did her thing, woke up early and worked out. I waited for her to come home and we'd have breakfast together. Planned what we would eat this week, made lunch together, starting watching our series we've been seeing (singing along with the intro in our stupid fantastic way), and it all seemed to.... good.
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Then that afternoon, we nearly broke up.
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I'm dreading the next 3 days and our next meetup. This is a person I just do not feel ready to lose. She's the most important person in my life. I cannot imagine waking up and not having her beside me. Giving me her loving goodmorning kiss. Taking our walks together. I'm just devastated.
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She is my first girlfriend, and it seemed like my only. And now I'm here, crying every minute of the day, thinking of losing her. My heart breaks of the thought of deleting our pictures together, not talking with her. I also just cannot live in our apartment anymore. This was where we would start our life together. She was the main driver behind living together as well.
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I used to life with 2 friends. She's also good friends with them, so it's not an option to live with them again. It just all feels so unfair.
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I'm at a loss. I'm devastated, and most of all, I'm so, so scared to lose her.
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I mainly wanted to share my story. I have skipped over some important events, and probably worded some things wrong. But she's my everything, and I'm about to lose her.

Hi guy's, I guess this is what is going on with me.

1. Psychotic break that got me diagnosed with Schizotypal, PTSD, and bipolar.-13 day stay at the good ol mental hospital.
2. I wrote a story trying to explain how my psychotic break started. It is unfinished bc it brings me back. So at this point in time I have left it alone.
3. At this point I believe I am being given messages by god in an attempt to save my soul from the devil. I understand this could be delusional ideas of reference and I understand I have a long way to go before I can identify what is real and what is not.
4. You are not suffering alone, there is a light at the end of our tunnel for sure. I think if one person here can find a way then we all can. Happiness is attainable and I will relentlessly pursue it.
5. I know how wild the below story is. But as you know it was real af to me.

​
I realized I was beaten when my mom gave me my 2nd dose of drugged food.
​
*Note*-Last chapter-The man behind the curtain is revealed. It is me. (alternate story and endings for each Cartel, Illuminati(west coast and east coast)-One side is evil, the other good(wutang)., CIA, Then the best one imo-The church
vs the devil.
​
​

What a way to start the new year lol. It was on Jan 1st that all of this spiraled out of control. It all started when I was working at amazon in clay NY. I woke up one day and saw a shit ton of cops. I was growing at the time, an illegal amount of cannabis that would have landed me a felony. So knowing this I shit my pants and ran down the stairs to see what was happening. Am I getting raided or is it just some regular molly whopping bullshit going on outside? We installed a large number of security cameras due to the molly whopper problem. Anything that wasn't tied down would come up missing, not after the cameras lol. I get my coffee as two cops knock on my door. I answer and 

they let me know that a crime was committed by some kids and that they would like the videos if my camera caught it. I thought to myself, some kids.....no big deal at all. SURE I said as I ran upstairs to get my laptop while trying to keep my tents out of view. I return and both I and the two cops sit in the kitchen until I can get the videos emailed to them. They leave and I think that is the end of that. WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
​

(insert the fact that you bought weapons, signs and didn't sleep hardly at all) 

I go to amazon about a week later and find out that the people that committed the crime in front of my house work with me. Aren't I the lucky one? Malachi(one of the assailants) was kind enough to come to the conveyor belt and leaned over and let me know that it was him and his friends. And that both he and his friends that committed the crime will be coming back to get my grow(how the hell do they know about my grow I think?). I mean mugged him and we both continued about our day. Due to me having headphones in it took me a while to put together exactly what he said. But when I did put it together, I immediately started taking all the necessary precautions to prevent a home invasion,. Such as securing all entrances and placing weapons all around the house. Identifying all routes in and out and covering them with cameras and traps if needed. Not my first rodeo(ptsd like a mfa from the first). This time was different though due to me at the time living with my sick parents. I planned on defense only and coached them on what to do in the worse case.
(RAW DATA ELABORATE on the amazon story-For example all of the people you identified and all of the tatoos that they shared. A large orginazation was identified but at the time I did not know they were after me. Later I found out they
were using the night staff at amazon warehouses to distribute their products around the globe. In 30 mins or less lol.)
​

With my home secured my mind was at ease. On my next scheduled day at amazon, I learned that my manager Caroline was working with/for Malachi. I learned this by her repeatedly placing me next to Malachi and Mike(Malachi's friend). This continued for about two weeks and I saw exactly who was playing for the Malachi's team. It turned out to be a large number of people. I identified they were a group by the matching tattoos they displayed. They had people working as janitors, and in every station and position in amazon. I am talking all the way from janitors to the managers. At least a good 10+ at amazon working to make my life hell there. One time while next to Malachi and Mike at the beginning of this. I lost my temper, pretty badly. I have a mental health issue with my anger(just learned), which caused me to say a bunch of stuff in retaliation to Malachi. This caused Malachi 

to make a phone call while shaking his head in sadness. That phone call was to someone important. Because ever since Malachi made that call my life changed for the worse. Like way worse.
​

After both myself and Malachi were done talking shit to each other. He(malachi) let me know how much power he could get on short notice. I woke up to smoke my normal morning joint and saw Angel(from amazon), Mike, and Malachi walking around my house(in the street). Later that day I would say about ten to 15 cars made an appearance to let me know they meant business. I just sat there and smoked my joints and cataloged all of his personnel. I knew at that point I was in over my head and made a mistake in feeding into Malachi's anger. I called everyone I knew, which was two whole people(lol) and told them to stand down and not do anything to Malachi if they saw him. I also tried my best to de-escalate to the best of my ability while working at amazon. That however just seemed to make them madder. One night Caroline came up to me and asked me to go work next to people who were trying to kill me, which at that point was normal. Once I realized this I had a realization that this was wrong and should be addressed. I was experiencing retaliation for reporting a crime and it was being perpetuated by my employer(I was thinking in my head Lawsuit lol). Then Angel started going ham on me. I let my management know that they needed to do something(they did nothing). Then I let Angel know the only reason they were mad was the video I gave to the cops, and that I was not a threat to him. I also reiterated to him that he had to touch me for me to be able to defend myself. I left that 

day and made a report to the amazon ethics board on what had happened there. I quit and called the cop I gave the video to for advice and to let him know I was prepared if it goes further. I let him know I would fight to the death for the safety of my mother and father. Which was now in danger due to Malachi and the organization he is with. He agreed with me and told me to protect my family.
​

I was out of work for a couple of weeks and everything seemed to simmer down. All the cars and people that were patrolling daily seemed to stop. During my off time I was able to do a bunch of research on Malachi, Angel and Mike and I learned that they were tied to a local car dealership in fulton. I researched the car dealership and found out that they were from the Bronx and were affiliated with the Cartel. I found this out through facebook and instagram. Malachi was kind enough to throw up gang signs in his instagram posts that I was able to check on google. I battened down the hatched as much as I could. But I knew that my family was now in grave danger due to me losing my temper. They are good people and I had no intention of letting them pay the cost for my action. So I came up with an Idea. I would enter into the legal weed business by going to a multistate operator for a job. Through different research I learned that heavy cartel money has flowed into these multistate cannabis businesses. I was hopeful that I could find an ear from the cartel by applying for a job at my local out of state cannabis company called Acerage holdings. It didn't take me that much time and I landed a job for a company called acerage holdings which grows medical weed. On my first week there a co-worker named Isaiah was talking about my ethics report that I made to amazon to another employee. Lucky me, I believe I found the ear I was looking for. It turned out that he was part of Malachi's group. I worked with a small number of people at acerage holdings and I am positive that most people working there were very aware of who I was and who Malachi was. And that I was not well-liked at all, meaning malachi's influence reached there as well.I stayed to myself to the highest extent possible and just soaked up the comments like a sponge with no responses from me at all. My intent was to gather as much intel as I possibly could and identify an opportunity for a line of communication with the leadership of the Cartel. This would be hard to do. The business that I was working for was designed as part of their legal operations(It didn’t take much google to figure that out). 

​
I would go into work everyday at Acerage and people would be openly talking about my situation. One guy was joking around while we were harvesting some weed that I should put in the wood chipper. I saw he had a bunch of tattoos so I figured what are the chances he has a similar tatoo. I moved over to work with him and to my surprise he has the same tattoo as Angel. I engage in conversation and maintain my cover to gather data and identify a line of communication so I could plead my case. A worker named Tony came into our area that day and he was loose enough to say don’t trust the security because they are the cartel. I think to myself, welp that guy ain't a cartel but security seems to be my point of access to the top. Later that day I was oddly issued my badge which seemed rather thick. Me being my paranoid self began to read all of the literature that i was given when I first got the job. In fine print I read that the company has the right but not the duty to monitor your phone or other device to make sure intellectual property is not stolen. That day I immediately started talking about how the FBI got a guy at my last job for the same thing. And that I planned on using their practices for a business that I wanted to start. Needless to say I believe they would be listening on my phone for more crumbs to try to start a case.
​
I woke the next day and began to plead my case while in my truck alone. I apologized and claimed responsibility for my actions. And that I would accept any punishment as long as it was me and only me. I clocked into work that morning and oddly enough my coworkers that I had befriended seemed very sad. Almost like something was going to happen to me. I armed myself with trim scissors and was ready for the worst knowing that my message had most likely reached its mark. I was scared and happy at the same time. I was afraid because I thought I was about to die but I was happy because I thought I had brokered the safety of my family successfully. Stressfully I finished my day and luckily nothing happened. So I went home.
​
To relieve stress I started to work on some different hobbies. One of those hobbies was music. I got to the point where I had two songs written (rough copies), and I was sampling tracks and beats to put my lyrics to. While doing this, I realized that I got hacked. There were two recurring options that kept popping up on my youtube. Two live streams with people rapping, one was the west coast rap channel and one was the east coast rap channel. I had my headset with a mic and I was putting
my lyrics to their beats when they answered me and started conversing with me. They told me they wanted my music and that I had to make a choice. I told them I was not ready to make a choice and I kept switching between the two while listening to their music and then them listening to my music(it was dope af-they were freestyling a lot-me not so much but what I did do was dope af). Then I garnered attention from both sides with a proposal. I explained how darkness and corruption have taken over and now evil sits atop the societal pyramid controlling everything and everyone. I explained how words have power, especially through music to change negative energy to positive. A good example of this is
waking up in a horrible mood and then putting on a good song and magically your mood changes from negative to positive. I proposed to use that to address issues that plague communities across the U.S. My proposal was to use 300 artists,150 from one side and 150 from the other. My song would be used as the prime example(leaders lead by example). 1 person comes up with lyrics and each of the 300 make those lyrics their own(own beats/cadence) and release a song on the same day. So with one song 300 versions will be thrown out in the local dialect to address the issue simultaneously all across the U.S. Long story short it would have a great chance of changing the current negative state of the world into a positive one. By delivering a hot beef injection of positivity into this negative landscape we have found ourselves in. Everyone agreed with me and I ended the night by DJing a few songs and then calling it a night. Before I go people from both sides start making me offers to join their side and that they would pay me and this and that. I thought this was a dream but here these dudes were offering me whatever I wanted to hop on their side. I told them no offense but That I had to think about it. I understood I was a great talent and that I did not want to make a bad deal. I thought I would sleep it over and then let everyone know my choice after work the following day. So I called it a night.
​
The next day I went to work and it was a holiday so we would only be working until 11am that
day.My boss Shmalex(name changed to protect identity lol). Told me to come talk to him after we were done with work that day. I immediately put it together that not only did I gain the attention of the Cartel but I was under close watch from the FBI due to me recently buying weapons and talking about my hustling openly. I told him ok and continued with my coworker Rob to complete our task that day which consisted of picking leaves off plants. While On break I was talking with Rob after my cigarette and he was showing me his fishing gear and trying to plan a fishing trip later on. I agreed that it would be fun and then we went back into work. About an hour after we got back into work Rob dipped out to make a call. He came back in and then about ten mins later Cody came in and told us we were done for the day and that we could leave. While I was cleaning up, the robber walked up behind me and whispered I’m sorry. I didn’t even say anything because I thought he was joking. Spoiler alert he was not joking.
​
I left work that day and I was super pumped knowing that I would soon be able to solve all my money problems by choosing which side to sign with. On the ride home I kept thinking how I got in the situation that I did and why I started making music. And then it hit me, Malachi, the same person who had put me in this dangerous situation was the reason why I was about to be successful and safe most of all. I thought that both sides had my back and were upset with the Cartel coming into the U.S. and just claiming territory like that. So I was no longer concerned for either My or my family's safety anymore, which was like ten tons being lifted off of my shoulders. On the ride home I started rapping and loudly yelling that I loved this shit and would take care of everyone with money. Especially Malachi and his family as a token of friendship and a hope for forgiveness.
​
​
I get home and I see that my parents have bought pizza. I think dope af and grab some and head upstairs. So I finally made my choice to join West coast records to be in the nice weather. I let both sides know that I planned to go to the west coast and told each that I would only go if I could collaborate with both sides. Notbe limited. I told them to show up at 8 am the next morning with two million in a bag. I was communicating with them verbally through the computer and with notes written on notebooks that I was showing my mirror. They told me they had me on watch from that location, and confirmed it by giving me details that only a camera in the mirror would capture. I went to bed that night with the idea that I was going to change the world. I was able to talk to both sides and luckily they were with me in changing things for the better. I went to bed oddly knowing that I just made a work-together truce between the crips and bloods. Good night's rest would be an understatement. I slept like a fucking baby. However, I woke up mad af boy lol.
​

8 am comes and goes and no one shows up lol. At this point I am unsure if I got hacked by Malachi, actually am about to start the 300, or am being trolled by the govt.... so many possibilities at this point lmao. So I don't go to the computer until the afternoon. Then things kinda get pretty crazy, but not as crazy as it will get..... I hop on the computer and hop on the west coast live stream. They start rapping about how they are going to torture me and kill my family and friends(someone on there said they were in jail and mad af at me). I see an Eminem video pop up on the screen and click on it. It is Eminem and he is rapping live about me and he kept giving me the shhhhh with the finger thing when I went to talk. He was saying that he was going to lock me up and not let me out and a whole bunch of shit. I closed my computer and just went and laid down and thought about the situation that I found myself in. I knew they had cameras on me in my house and in my truck(they told me how much gas I had!). I just laid there and thought about the situation, 1. Am I crazy...no 2. Am I hacked....yes 3. How do I save my family? idk yet 4. Am I beat beyond belief? yes. The criminal organization that Malachi was with(some cartel) was using amazon prime to deliver their product across the U.S., they knew I knew this and I know they wanted me dead so that is the opponent I was planning against it. Now looking back it could have been the FBI(I am loose so could have been watched), Cartel-the most likely, West or east coast rappers... so fucked lol. So I planned to wait it out to protect my family and engage if needed. This meant I always had to have weapons on to carry that plan out(pain in the ass(prison pocket)). 

​

I hopped up from my bed and went downstairs to eat a fish dinner that my mom had picked up. They were hurting for money and I was helping them out financially for months before that. Suddenly it clicked. The night before they bought 4 pizzas. Then tonight they bought fish dinners,.....WAIT. Where did they get the money to order out twice in a week, so so out of the ordinary? I recognized this and went upstairs with the fish dinner trying to think why they would order out two days in a row. I hop on my computer and start to eat dinner. I start listening to a 90s hip-hop live track and the dude who said he was in jail starts talking. Lets me know it cost 100k to get my mom on his side and that the food I was eating was drugged, and when I go downstairs my mom will make a fake police report on me to get me to jail. I stop eating the fish and go downstairs and just try talking to my mom to disprove what I just heard. 

She looked at me and immediately started to make a scene. She told me to "calm down and go to sleep or she'll have to call someone". I deescalate, throw out the dinner and then head upstairs. My brain starts working overtime in attempting to solve the situation. My playlists keep changing on my laptop so I start clicking on the top choice every time it changes. I finally realized that another party was communicating with me that was different from the previous ones(Anonymous). They altered songs in the top choices to deliver a subliminal message. I can’t describe how the words would jump out at me but I was able to gather the message after playing about 5 songs. They wanted me to go to a mental facility for safety for both me and my family. I didn’t know why, but I had no options at that point so I had to trust them.

 It was my job to decode that message in the limited amount of time that I had. I spent about an hour listening and grabbing applicable information from the slightly changed songs. I felt myself at a loss trying to find the subliminal path laid out. A gospel live stream popped up on my laptop and there was a different group that wanted me to sing with them(The church). The song was hallelujah. About halfway through the song I had a religious epiphany. I blacked out for a couple of seconds, and came to singing the song hallelujah while holding my arms out toward my mirror in a hugging motion. The people in the gospel livestream were rejoicing loudly and I heard someone say it's him. I immediately knew they thought I was the second coming and I dropped to my knees to denounce that. 

​
I took my notebook and started writing in my notebook a message. It said me for my family. I looked at the shotgun on my floor for a brief moment. But that was not an option due to my upbringing and marine background. The path became clear when I mentally snapped. They had accepted my deal, me for my family. I briefly looked at my shotgun and then headed downstairs to tell
My parents that Ineeded to go to a mental hospital to meet anonymous. I went outside to wait and my mom went and made a phone call that took about ten minutes. I don't know who she was talking to but when she came out I knew we were good because the cops didn't show up. And then off we went, I played the part quite well on the ride I remember. I told my parents I loved them and then after listening to faded with a stranger one last time, I went in to accept my fate. I asked for one last cigarette and my dad gave me a half a one that tasted quite odd.
​

A lady came in once I was laying in the hospital bed to "take blood" and give me something to sleep. I thought this was the end but it was not. I woke up the next day and could have sworn my mom said the doctor wanted to see me. I told her I was still tired and rolled over and went back to bed. Then when I woke up they brought me into a room with a security guard posted up right near me. My mom told me they were going to move me to come after I eat. Then they moved me to omh. I checked in and now this is where things get crazy. However, the memories are still very blurry 

​

I was given a mask, and I swear it felt like I had my memory wiped about 5 minutes after putting it on. I enjoyed it quite a lot. I was under the impression that I would die (I was very surprised I woke up). I went into the mental hospital and I went through the check-in process for entering into inpatient(explain in detail the process of checking in). It was pretty demeaning to say the least. I thought I would make contact with the resistance or whoever gave me the subliminal messages to go to the mental hospital. But that did not happen. I thought to myself, Why would the security guard drug me if I am in a safe place? I immediately knew I was in grave danger and that I had to be on guard at all times. I was shown my room and I introduced myself to my roommate bob. (I would later come to find out that bob was a former marine). My head was really really messed up from the medication that they had given me. I chilled in my room for a while and finally went out to walk up and down the hallways to attempt to identify any possible way out. I needed that information later to break out if needed. I identified a weak link in the armor. It consisted of one door that would get me access to one side and a fence that once jumped would lead me to the running part. I started walking up and down the halls and I noticed a woman that was also doing the same thing. I couldn't help but overhear what she was saying. And to my surprise, she referenced the situation that I had found myself in. She sat down and I sat down next to her. She leaned in and told me that they were going to kill me and skin 

me alive. And she just started maniacally laughing. I knew I was in a facility run by the organization after me. I sat there and then it came to me. Don't feed into it gather as much intel as possible and plot your next chess move carefully. So I fucking laughed with her and we began to laugh together. I made small talk and then I went into the cafeteria to grab some water(which I usually drank a ton of). I grabbed a glass and I shit you not it was like it had corn syrup in it. It was water but THICK. I had no choice so I drank the liquid. It was my only source of water and at this point in my information gathering, I dared not bring up any intel that I was finding out about.
​

I saw a couple of people in the cafeteria and decided to make small talk. I met a female named Angel and another female named Haley. They seemed nice enough but I couldn't get it out of my head that something just seemed very very off about this place and the people that I was meeting. They told me about the groups they offer as therapy and told me I should make an appearance. I tried my best to remember but I could not for the life of me and ended up missing it and just roaming the halls. Nighttime was fast approaching so I ducked into a place that they had labeled the quiet room and I was lucky enough to meet a man named Scooba Steve. He introduced himself and made it a point to tell 

me that he was a man of god. I noted this and we continued to make some small talk which consisted of religion. I asked him to say some prayers for me that night and I left him there to read his bible. I later found out he was very devoted to and any bit of free time he had was devoted to reading the bible. They called for nighttime meds so I went to the counter to get mine. They gave me a sleeping pill and an antipsychotic and then to my surprise they gave me a nicotine lozenge. I was extremely happy about this due to fiending for some good ol' nicotine. I planned on staying up all night which I did. I needed to see exactly how many staff they had and if they were involved in this or if they were legit(spoiler alert, they were not).
​

In the hallways there were nooks where you could sit down and admire the artwork. I posted up in one of those nooks near my room and just kept an eye on everyone that night. Nothing happened, but i did notice that the security guard makes one pass a night. If I needed to get out I could easily use him as a plan b so I noted that in my playbook and in my spare time fashioned me a toothbrush shank. 

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"The best camera is the one that's with you" is of course true, but there's another question this saying doesn't answer: "Shall I use it at all?" Everyone knows these people in concerts, usually standing right in front of you, taking photos or filming instead of enjoying the moment. So when should one take a photo? Well, there isn't THE answer. If you want to preserve a memory, do it. Of you want to document the occasion, go for it. Just keep in mind, you can either take photos or experience that moment. Either concentrate on the perfect shot or just enjoy. I'm not telling you to stop taking photos. Just do it mindfully.
Edit: This text turned out different than I thought. If I could change the headline, it would be "a mindful approach on taking photos" or anything similar.

Hi, in the past few weeks, the idea of my girlfriend moving in with me has come up in my 5-month long distance relationship. It came up very suddenly when she was switching colleges due to financial reasons, and noticed the new college provides online classes which she can do remotely if she moves in with me. I currently need to live near my own college that I go to, so we would share an apartment. She said that if I said no, she would likely break up with me as she cannot do long distance much longer, which is understandable. At first I happily said yes to the idea, before anxiety crept in and told me things: what if we broke up later on because we end up not being compatible and I have to deal with the financial fallout, what if my girlfriend misses out on the real college experience, what if i dont get alone time anymore, she is still 18 which is young (im 21), etc. I tried my best to communicate these ideas with her, but she began to get upset, saying that because im even considering not living with her when the stake of the relationship lies on it, that it means I dont love her as much as she loves me and wouldnt sacrifice as much to be with her as she would with me.
And I will admit, I led her on for a while by saying yes then becoming unsure, and I felt terrible and apologized a lot for it. After talking through the issue, I decided that I would commit 100% to living with her, since it is best to try rather than give up, and I promised her it was my decision.
Today, we woke up happy, knowing that we were now both committed to living together. However, she told me again that the fact that I was unsure about it while knowing that the relationship was on the line was getting to her. She told me she felt as though she would give anything to be with me, like leaving her family behind or going across the country, but I would not do the same for her. I told her that family is one of my priorities and I wouldnt want to move too far from them, and she said "what do you expect me to do, follow you around the country like a puppy?" and I think this is fair and not something I considered until that moment. I told her later on that my choice about living with family changes a lot (my decision was different just a few months ago). However, she began to spiral, saying that I never sacrifice for her or put her first, that im a horrible person, that shes extremely hurt, and she hates me. She broke up with me within a few hours, saying that she wants to find someone who prioritizes her first like she would for them. She says the only way she will consider being with me again is if I give her real reassurance that I prioritize her, but it cant be words.
I have personally felt like I do prioritize her. I always leave class or my gaming with my friends to call her if she has an urgent situtaion, Ive driven 11 hours to see her in a day, Ive paid for her gas to drive to me, I give her gifts on valentines day, etc etc. I may be clueless but I feel like I'm checking all the boxes.
I wrote her a long apology last night for being so indecisive about the future and letting it affect us so much that it led to breakup, and that I now know I cant jump into relationships being unsure about my own cirumstances/future. I also said that I hope we can get back together soon.
My current thoughts about this are that I dont think im fully in the wrong, and many rash decisions were made today. However, I also think it is fair to be angry with me after my indecisiveness becomes such a large problem. Should I pursue getting her back or is this a lost cause?
TL;DR - girlfriend wants to move in with me due to financial reasons. After initially agreeing, I become unsure from anxiety, leading to a fight and ultimately a breakup. Girlfriend wants someone who prioritizes her first and wants me to reassure her that she is my priority to get back together, but I cant use words. Not sure if this is a lost cause.

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Hi, im a high school junior and need some help deciding what to do for graduation and college admissions. Im gonna give some background (mostly a rant) and could you guys help me answer some questions?
Concerns: I have adhd and autism so overall academics and extracurriculars are a struggle for me. But i still want to go to a top school or more realistically transfer to a top school, probably for computer science. I want to make connections and have lots of intern opportunities and whatnot, but im worried about toxic competitive cultures. I want to join clubs, and do study abroad opportunities, but im worried the application process will be just as competitive as getting into the top school itself. Most importantly, I need to get costs taken care of. I'll be getting a bright futures scholarship, which will only cover tuition in florida schools, but eventually i really want to go out of state or abroad. My grades are good, but I dont have any extracurriculars or rigorous APs which pertain to the major i want to pursue later (comp sci). And like I said, my adhd/autism makes it very difficult for me to pursue my goals and my portfolio is just not enough.
my stats right now, if that's relevant: 4.3 weighted gpa 2 APs, all honors classes Track for 2 years SAT ~1300
Graduation concerns: I hate school, like i hate showing up to high school every day its so terribly draining. im mostly taking electives this year, in which i just sit here and do nothing. After junior year, I'll only need 2 more credits until i can graduate, and i dont see the point in doing a whole senior year for only 2 necessary credits. High school has just been so bad for my mental health and I really cant fathom doing one more year of this. If i were to do a senior year, I'd like to do dual enrollment or APs. However, I ideally want to focus my energy on extracurricular projects during my summesenior year, and im scared DE or APs will be too much on top of that. However, I dont want to take easy electives either because it doesn't serve me any purpose and is just an even bigger waste of time. I know im being picky, but all i want is to just set up the right path for myself and choose the best option.
My goals: I want to pursue a "passion project" and get involved in the computer science community, like participating in competitions and internships and stuff. I also want to learn proper social skills because im autistic and I feel at a disadvantage if I stay introverted and anxious. I plan to attend a florida college for no more than 2 years, maintaining a 4.0, leaving a great impression on my professors, joining clubs, and take initiatives and whatnot to make impressive stats for an eventual transfer towards a top school. I know i dont have much right now, but thats kind of due to the fact ive been extremely depressed and unmotivated to pursue anything. Pretty soon, i want to start pursuing things which will look good on my application.
Questions: My counselor is practically useless and my parents dont know anything i about college admissions. It feels like i have very limited resources when it comes to information about college and exploring my options. i have to look everything up myself, and Id like if redditors could help answer some of my more specific questions 😭:
How do i obtain grants/scholarships? Is it possible to get grants/scholarships in the middle of college?
Opinion on top 20 schools? is it worth the connections? Is my aim realistic if i work hard?
Should i take APs and/or dual ennrollment for senior year? or should i finish my last 2 credits online and graduate early and attend a florida college asap?
Should i test out of college gen ed courses to gain credits? i hate doing class work but im a good self study-er and test taker. If I can achieve a bunch of college gen ed credits by testing out, then I'd have more time on my hands.
Will graduating early with no stellar classes and a gap year look bad to colleges i want to transfer to? or can achievements at my local university make it up?
also im aware im being extremely vague. i dont really know how to explain, but at this point any help is help and any advice or outlook helps. I just need somewhere to start.

Hi, in the past few weeks, the idea of my girlfriend moving in with me has come up in my 5-month long distance relationship. It came up very suddenly when she was switching colleges due to financial reasons, and noticed the new college provides online classes which she can do remotely if she moves in with me. I currently need to live near my own college that I go to, so we would share an apartment. She said that if I said no, she would likely break up with me as she cannot do long distance much longer, which is understandable. At first I happily said yes to the idea, before anxiety crept in and told me things: what if we broke up later on because we end up not being compatible and I have to deal with the financial fallout, what if my girlfriend misses out on the real college experience, what if i dont get alone time anymore, she is still 18 which is young (im 21), etc. I tried my best to communicate these ideas with her, but she began to get upset, saying that because im even considering not living with her when the stake of the relationship lies on it, that it means I dont love her as much as she loves me and wouldnt sacrifice as much to be with her as she would with me.
And I will admit, I led her on for a while by saying yes then becoming unsure, and I felt terrible and apologized a lot for it. After talking through the issue, I decided that I would commit 100% to living with her, since it is best to try rather than give up, and I promised her it was my decision.
Today, we woke up happy, knowing that we were now both committed to living together. However, she told me again that the fact that I was unsure about it while knowing that the relationship was on the line was getting to her. She told me she felt as though she would give anything to be with me, like leaving her family behind or going across the country, but I would not do the same for her. I told her that family is one of my priorities and I wouldnt want to move too far from them, and she said "what do you expect me to do, follow you around the country like a puppy?" and I think this is fair and not something I considered until that moment. I told her later on that my choice about living with family changes a lot (my decision was different just a few months ago). However, she began to spiral, saying that I never sacrifice for her or put her first, that im a horrible person, that shes extremely hurt, and she hates me. She broke up with me within a few hours, saying that she wants to find someone who prioritizes her first like she would for them. She says the only way she will consider being with me again is if I give her real reassurance that I prioritize her, but it cant be words.
I have personally felt like I do prioritize her. I always leave class or my gaming with my friends to call her if she has an urgent situtaion, Ive driven 11 hours to see her in a day, Ive paid for her gas to drive to me, I give her gifts on valentines day, etc etc. I may be clueless but I feel like I'm checking all the boxes.
I wrote her a long apology last night for being so indecisive about the future and letting it affect us so much that it led to breakup, and that I now know I cant jump into relationships being unsure about my own cirumstances/future. I also said that I hope we can get back together soon.
My current thoughts about this are that I dont think im fully in the wrong, and many rash decisions were made today. However, I also think it is fair to be angry with me after my indecisiveness becomes such a large problem. Should I pursue getting her back or is this a lost cause?
TL;DR - girlfriend wants to move in with me due to financial reasons. After initially agreeing, I become unsure from anxiety, leading to a fight and ultimately a breakup. Girlfriend wants someone who prioritizes her first and wants me to reassure her that she is my priority, but I cant use words. Not sure if this is a lost cause.

My 3-year-old has recently noticed that all of her friends have siblings and she doesn’t. By chance, all of her best buddies at preschool have little sisters, and of course so does Daniel Tiger.
She’s obsessed. She wants to read about Margaret’s birth in her Daniel Tiger book over and over, and sleeps with this book in her bed every night. She keeps asking when she can have a sister. This morning she broke down full-on sobbing because she wants me to make her a sister like her friends have, she doesn’t understand why she can’t have one, and she doesn’t want to see her friends today because she’s mad at them for having sisters.
I’ve talked to her about how she gets extra attention from Mommy and Daddy (and grandma) this way. I’ve offered and scheduled more playdates with preschool friends and with her local cousins. We’ve had talks (and read books) about how families are different and talked about how this is what ours is shaped like. I’ve told her I couldn’t guarantee a sister even if we did have another baby. I’ve made a point of letting her hang out with the happy older only child next door whenever possible.
The decision to be OAD is a relatively recent one for us, made for a combo of health reasons and my own preference, and still a little tender. My husband badly wanted a second child, but agrees that if this is the best choice for me then it’s the best thing for our family. I haven’t changed my mind, but I’m still sad sometimes. It’s not how I always pictured my family. So we’re both grieving a bit right now and I wonder if she’s aware of it even though we don’t discuss in front of her.
Maybe I’m giving this more attention because of my own emotions and I should give the requests less attention? Maybe this is just a normal stage and it’ll be fine? Any advice for this age?

Part 59
Lieutenant General Marcus Stanley, United States Army
Marcus stomped into the TOC. One of the gods was already there, the naked black woman. He racked his brain for a second to remember her name.
"Vintress, right?" he asked as he approached her, leaning over a folding table with a map spread out on it. Little glowing figures moved slowly about it; fist-sized knots of tentacles, and little pinpricks with arms and legs. The red-glowing ones, including the primordials themselves, were moving forward, while the green-glowing figures moved back.
"Yes, General," Vintress said.
"What's going on?" he asked.
"The primordials have rallied. They are pushing us hard, regaining ground we had taken back. I am observing now, to see their strategy, and seek a weakness."
"Anything jumping out yet?"
"No," Vintress said, and Marcus could hear her grinding her teeth. "They have become inexplicably smarter. And tougher. We have yet to kill one today."
"Let's hope that it disorganizes them as much as usual, then," Marcus said, though he doubted that would be the case. Not for any specific reason, it was just that that was the sort of thing that often changed when plans went sideways.
"We will soon find out," Vintress said. "Look."
Marcus followed her pointing finger to a gold-glowing figure. Marcus squinted, then put on his reading glasses and leaned over the map. It was the honor god, the one who'd tried to stop the vigilante and gotten his hand chopped off for his troubles.
"Tyndale, is it?" Marcus asked.
"Tysrane," Vintress corrected. "Yes," Marcus said. "Sorry, I've always been bad with names."
"Names are both trivial and deeply personal," Vintress said. Marcus glanced at her, meeting her eyes without sweeping her nude form with practiced ease.
"My name, Vintress, it literally means 'huntress' in a long lost language of a tribe I once favored. I adopted it to reflect my position when I acquired my domain. Prior to that, my name was Clisenryr. Do you know what that means?"
"I do not," Marcus said, playing along.
"It meant 'the angry one'."
Marcus eyed her with a blank expression, wondering where she was going.
"I do so enjoy watching this," she said, turning her eyes back to the map. Marcus followed her gaze just in time to see Tysrane turn into a streak that passed through one of the primordials. The creature exploded, and a hush fell over everyone in the TOC who wasn't glued to another screen or desk. Two seconds passed, and then the sound hit them.
A muted, basso crack echoed through the air. The loose fabric of the tent fluttered and Marcus felt the table and ground shaking for just an instant.
Marcus watched as the tiny, glowing primordial rained down around the battlefield as chunks, the largest chunk still in place, deflating and tumbling away.
"Heh," he said. "Rolling away like a booger on a greased pan."
Vintress squinted at him. "Is that a common idiom among your people?" she asked. Marcus laughed out loud. "No, it's just what came to mind when I saw it."
"Good," Vintress said. "It would raise disturbing questions if it was." Marcus couldn't help but agree with that one.
"They're not faltering," he said after a moment. The red enemies were still assaulting the green positions.
"Your men are holding their own," Vintress said. Marcus nodded. "Damn straight. Those are most experienced warfighters, and each position has at least one Spec Ops boy in it. Most have half an A-team. They're going to be punching well above their weight, and that, my friend, is indeed a common idiom."
"Yes, since we left you to your own devices, you have been consistently performing well above our own expectations of you."
Her tone was off. It sounded almost worried. Marcus eyed the goddess for a moment, letting his eyes slip down from her face to take in the set of her shoulders, her pose, the tension in her chest and stomach. There was a lot going on in her head. She was afraid, and not just of this new push by the primordials.
Marcus reached into his pocket and grabbed the heavily-encrypted phone there. It was a Blackberry, based on a model more than two decades old, but full of modern guts, including a tiny transmitter with about fifteen miles of range. His thumb brushed the built in keypad, finding and pressing buttons by feel.
----
Command Sergeant Major Eric Hale, 5th Special Forces Group
Hale stomped his way from one fighting position to the next, the incoming hail of spines apparently balking at the terrifying expression on his grizzled face, and refusing to come anywhere near him.
At least, that was the impression he hoped to give the men watching him. The truth was, his butthole was puckered so goddamn tight you couldn't pound a needle in it with a jackhammer.
He got to the forward-most position, two M2HBs, one of which was crewed only by two dead bodies, their helmets shattered by the spines.
"They're shooting back, sarge!" the assistant gunner said as he crouched down and pulled the bodies away from the gun.
"Yeah, the enemy tends to do that," Hale said with practiced nonchalance. He checked the gun, made sure it was in working order, then cleared the barrel with a two-round squeeze before settling down into a shooting position. He looked at the assistant gunner's nametape.
"Martinez, you're gonna have to assist both of us, right?"
Martinez checked the ammo in Hale's gun, then in the other.
"Pace your shots to Jeff," he said, hooking a thumb at his buddy on the other gun. "You've got about twice as much ammo left in the can as him. I'll keep you reloaded."
Hale nodded and aimed down the sites. He began to return some hate back to the senders, tearing apart spider crabs and shambling zombies with every round. He didn't notice the encrypted phone in his pocket buzzing.
Both gunners concentrated on the spider crabs, who were the ones who'd learned to shoot back. They spat the spines out of their mouths in short bursts. Their aim was shit, but there was enough of them that it didn't matter.
Hale emptied his can and let Martinez fit a new one. "Only one more can, Sarge," Martinez said. "And Jeff's up next." Hale nodded and focused on killing the spider crabs.
The ammo didn't last nearly as long as he'd have liked. He ran dry and unhooked the can. "That's it," he said as he folded up the bipod and grabbed the heavy gun by the carry handle.
"As soon as you're out, I want you to fall back to the rally point and rearm. Sergeant Lewis will show you where to set up, next. Huah?"
"Huah!" Martinez shouted as Jeff ran dry. Martinez quickly got his cans swapped and Jeff resumed shooting. Hale turned and began to make his way back. The rain of spines seemed to have actually gotten worse.
He threw the notion of striking an intimidating figure to the wind and hustled back to the rally point, dropping the weapon off at the stack. First Sergeant Lewis walked up.
"Lewis," Hale said. "Send two guys up to FP Echo to pick up a couple bodies, then try to find someone to man this gun."
"I'll do what I can, Top," Lewis said. "Lot of losses today."
"Relatively," Hale pointed out. From what he'd seen, they were standing at about one and a half percent casualties, and that included the wounded, who were being treated magically and sent back within hours of coming off the line.
"Yeah, but you know that still affects morale," Lewis pointed out.
Hale nodded and reached in his pocket to check his phone. "Shit," he swore as he saw the message.
"Can I help?" Lewis asked. Hale thought about it, then turned the screen to let him read it.
Gods r scared of us, might turn. b prpred
"Shit," Lewis said.
"Spread the word," Hale told him with a sigh. "I can't imagine a worse time to get this news, so naturally, this is when it happens. Get someone down to the clinic to get our boys rushed through and get the docs out and into the MASH tents. Have word sent back to camp to get everybody out of those standing-doorway rooms and into barracks tents. I was everyone in their battle rattle and carrying their weapon, and I mean everyone. Cooks, techs, logi boys... Every fucking one."
"Right," Lewis said with a nod. "Anything else?"
"Yeah, pray this is just the General being paranoid."
"Pray to who?" Lewis asked.
"Good fucking point," Hale said, clapping him on the shoulder. "Go on, I gotta go find the Colonel."
Hale stomped off towards the HQ tent as Lewis jogged away. He found Colonel Stanislaw leaning over a radio console with headphones on.
"...that's right, Major. We're splitting out from the magic fuckers. One second, my Top's here now." The Colonel covered his mouthpiece with one hand and slipped one of the speakers off his ears.
"Did you see the General's message?" Stanislaw asked. Hale nodded. "I sent Lewis to get our people out of their facilities and get everyone armed."
"Good. I'll issue orders to the officers to let you and Lewis lead the way. But right now, I need to discuss strategy. Let me wrap this up."
"Major," he said, unhanding the mic. "Major, I've put Top and Sergeant Lewis in charge of the prep. Spread word to the officers to defer to them on this. Yes, that's right. Damn straight, they are. Good. Report back to me in, let's say, ninety minutes. Good. Stanislaw out."
He pulled the headphones off. "Walk with me, Top."
Hale fell into step beside the Colonel and they walked out of the camp. When they'd gotten far enough away, they stopped.
"What are your initial thoughts?" the Colonel asked.
Hale frowned. "Not good, sir. They can do all kinds of tricky shit with their magic that we can't counter. From what I hear, we can strike back, but it won't be easy. With over twenty of them still here, I don't think there's enough of us to stand."
"We don't really have a choice," Stanislaw said. "We can't let these primordials get past us, or the whole world is done for."
"Then I say we concentrate everything right around the FHQ, sir. We'll have the docs set up at the aid station, have the men break down a couple of the tents. Motor pool and cavalry staging is going to be a bitch to move on short notice, but we'll get it done."
"I know you will. I need to go find Major Danvers, work out placement for the cavalry if we have to fall back. Go ahead and get started prepping."
"Yes, sir," Hale said, snapping the Colonel a salute. Stanislaw saluted back, and Hale jogged off. As he approached the HQ, a humvee pulled up and two men climbed out. Hale recognized the General's bodyguards right away. Both were large, bearded men in DADPAT, with backwards-turned baseball hats and gucci-ed out M4s. They emerged and began prowling around the area before one of them clicked his radio, said something and then walked over to Hale.
"Eric," he said as he approached.
"Hey, Jim," Hale replied. "Colonel just ran off to talk to Danvers about cavalry placement in case this emergency happens."
Jim nodded. "Fucked up shit," he said. Hale nodded back. General Stanley stepped out of the vehicle, spotted Hale and walked over. Hale came to attention and saluted. Stanley saluted back casually, "As you were, Sergeant. Did you see my message?"
"I did, sir, as did the Colonel. Preparations are already under way. If you need to talk to the Colonel, he's on his way to Major Danvers as we speak."
"I'm actually here to talk to you, Top," Stanley said. "I've got a job for you."
"Whatever you need, sir. I should inform you that the Colonel has asked me to oversee the transfer of equipment and personnel from the allied facilities to our own and the consolidation of our forces here."
"I'll step in to handle that personally, Eric. You remember a fellow named Bill Martin?"
Hale nodded. Bill and he had served together. He know Bill was a solid soldier and a holy terror in close quarters.
"Well, Bill's one of the executives at the DCM Group. I want you to take Jim and Mac with you, head back earthside and get with him. Tell him about our concern here and find out what kinds of resources they can spare. I've got six million budgeted for expenses, and I'll drop every dime of it on them if they can provide enough support to help us survive a two-front war out here.
"After you're done with that, I want you to go see the man himself and explain the situation to him. You tell him I said the following, verbatim. 'Sir, if this shit goes down and we don't throw everything we have at it in one big mass, right off the bat, I do not think we will survive'. You tell him those exact words, and that I mean it. I've already called in an appointment for you at three PM local time. Don't worry about getting there on time, just make sure you get it all done."
"Sir, yes, sir," Hale said, snapping another salute. Though he could barely believe it, the pucker factor was even higher than it had been walking out to that gun position.
Stanley saluted back, far more crisply than usual. He turned to his bodyguard. "You heard me, Jim," Jim nodded and stepped over next to Hale. "Ready when you are, Top."
Nate, the General's other bodyguard, wandered over. "We set?" he asked. Hale and Jim both nodded.
"Take my transport," Stanley said. "And get back here as soon as you're done."
They climbed into the Humvee and took off.
----
Bill Martin, President of Physical Security, Divine Crisis Management Group
Bill looked up as the door opened to reveal Julie. She looked haggard and run down.
"You look amazing," he said as soon as the door closed. He made sure his voice sounded sincere. Julie smiled and walked right over to sit on his lap and lay her head on his shoulder.
"Thank you," she said. "I feel like I'm being torn in a million directions. And I just got more bad news."
"What's that?"
"Jerry's gone radio silent. I got in touch with Michelle Vasquez, and she told me he's run off to kill the goddess who took his family."
"Shit," Bill muttered. He waited a beat before adding. "I can't really blame him, though."
"Except he was supposed to be tracking down the escapees," Julie said.
"The man's lost his family. He's wild with grief, right now. And truth be told, if he manages to kill her, that's not exactly a bad thing."
Julie lifted her head to meet Bill's eyes. "Are you defending a revenge quest?" she deadpanned.
"No, just pointing out that this one is advantageous. It's liable to produce a more positive outcome than him returning the escapees."
Julie sighed. Everybody was turning on her over the issue of Jerry. And then she sighed again, because Bill was still Bill.
"I'm gonna lock that door," she said. "Because I need to unwind."
Bill frowned in confusion. "What are you going to-" he stopped as the light came on in his eyes, making Julie smirk. "Ahh, I get it. What the hell, I mean, you're the boss, right?"
Julie stood and locked the door, then turned towards Bill and began unbuttoning her shirt. "I used to never understand people who got a thrill out of risking getting caught," she said as she peeled her shirt off and reached back to unhook her bra.
"But I think I'm starting to get it. It's the relief of getting away with it," she said, dropping her bra on the floor. Bill stared in fascination, the sight of her stripping easily the most alluring thing he'd ever seen. She unzipped the side of her skirt and then peeled it off to reveal a set of garters and a hard-on.
"You uh," Bill said, the words difficult to find as his mind focused on the imagery. "You planned for this.. Uh, this morning?"
Julie smiled and walked back to him, loosening his tie. "I stopped wearing underwear when we started dating," she said as she pulled it out of his collar. Bill put his hands on her hips and leaned forward to kiss her ribs, just below the solar plexus, where it always made her gasp.
Her gasp came at the same instant that Bill recognized the sound of someone pounding on the door.
"Shit!' he cursed. He looked around for a second, shooting to his feet. "Get under the desk, quick!"
Julie crawled under the desk and Bill moved to the door, kicking her discarded clothes behind a potted plant. Right as he opened the door, he cursed himself for not kicking them to her.
Three men immediately walked in, pressing past him. Two were in DADPAT and armed, the third in a set of ACUs with a CSM's stripes. Bill blinked as he recognized the Sergeant.
"Eric? Eric Hale?" he asked.
Eric stuck out his hand. "Hey Bill, been a long time." Bill shook his hands. "Yeah, it has. Who are your friends?"
"General Stanley's bodyguards. Jim and Nate. They're solid."
Bill held out a hand to each, who shook it with a respectful nod.
"So what brings you here?" Bill asked. He stepped over to his desk and sat down behind it, careful not to trod on Julie. She immediately slid a hand up his inner thigh and he struggled to maintain his composure. Eric took a seat while the two bodyguards stood.
"I need to hire as much magical muscle as I can for six million dollars, as fast as possible."
Bill frowned. Julie let go of him. "What for?"
Eric glanced around meaningfully. Bill nodded at the door, which one of the bodyguards closed, then he pressed his fingers to the rune inscribed on the right corner of his desk.
"Total privacy," he said.
"We have reason to believe the gods may turn on us," Eric stated.
"Holy shit," Bill said.
"Hell of an understatement," one of the bodyguards rumbled. Bill thought it was Jim. "You must have been a ranger."
"I was," Bill confirmed. "Shit, we're spread pretty thin right now. Wizards are mostly out levitating ruined buildings and healing injured people. This is some serious shit, though."
"Don't ask me why, I don't know. But Stanley's behind this, and I trust the old man's judgement."
Bill nodded. He remembered Stanley back when he was a full-bird Colonel. He'd been a solid, brilliant and trustworthy officer back then.
"I'll start making calls. I've got to hold some back, but I think I can round up about a hundred or so for you. You want extra shooters?"
"With magic guns?"
"Magic guns, armor, uniforms, gear... The works."
"Yes, very much."
"I can get you eighty before you leave the office. Another hundred and sixty in a couple of hours, and two hundred more by tomorrow."
Eric nodded. "How much?" he asked.
"Not a dime!" Julie said from under the desk. The three visitors all jumped. Bill rolled his chair back as Julie stood. Despite her state of undress (and Bill was relieved to see that she wasn't aiming any anatomy around any more) and the bags under her eyes, she managed to project a regal, businesslike air.
"We'll work up a bill after the fact for expenses," Julie clarified. "And we'll present it to the feds. I know the General's budget was to be used for supplies. If the gods are turning on us, they'll need to spend that money. And before you three go, you can all head down to the armory and get geared up. There's a quartermaster who can tell you how it all works."
"Thank you, Ma'am," Eric said, standing up and carefully keeping his eyes on Julie's face.
"Thanks," Jim added.
"Awesome, sir," Nate said. The room went quiet as Bill narrowed his eyes at the bodyguard. Eric turned to glare at him as well, and Jim shook his head slowly. Nate frowned in confusion, then his eyes widened.
"My apologies, Ma'am," he said quickly. "I just... I don't... I mean, I didn't mean anything by it. I'm cool with, I mean, it's none of my business, I don't-"
"Enough," Bill snapped. "Slip of the tongue. You're good. Just go get geared up. There will be a team waiting for you in the lobby in thirty minutes."
He turned to his computer and began to type quickly, issuing the orders to assemble as many as they could. He pointedly did not meet Nate's eyes, because he didn't want to lose his temper.
Julie ushered them out.
"I'm really sorry, Ma'am, I swear I didn't mean anything..." Nate stammered as they left. Julie patted his shoulder and closed the door, turning back to Bill.
"Orders are sent," Bill said. Julie gave him a funny look, which Bill couldn't interpret. He decided to assume the worst.
"He started apologizing and making excuses before I could even figure out how best to threaten him-" Bill started to say defensively, but Julie threw her head back and laughed.
After a moment, Bill's face cracked into a smile and he joined her.
"Well, that was ironic," Julie managed to wheeze as she walked back and began to unbutton Bill's shirt. "But since we got caught anyways... Hehe, we might as well enjoy it."

Jacob Chasler was exhausted. It had been 9 days since the bombing of pearl and jacob had been inside the spare office in the conference building for practically all of that time - signing papers, sending requests, approving resource allocation - and thankfully the port was almost entirely repaired - thanks to strange small yellow birds - with the errant pile of rubble here and there.
Thankfully - mercifully - jacob hadnt been alone. Having been assisted by kuybyshev, Z23, and theseus when they would come into the office for the day to help - but there was only so much help that could provide with there being so much paper work that jacob had to stay up long nights to get as much of it done.
This night was one of those nights. Jacob was currently, signing and reviewing his current paper work with caffeine induced zeal - hoping to get as much done before he invariably and innevitably crashes.
As jacob finally finishes his current stack of paper work, he hears the door to the office creak open. Jacob looks up and finds the newest member of azur lane - HMS daedalus - standing near the door way, looking at him with a questioning look.
"Hello daedalus," jacob says "Why are you here so late at night?" He asks her, only for her to respond by walking towards the offices coach and sitting down on it.
Jacob just stares at daedalus with tired drooping eyes for a few moments, before grabbing his mug of coffee and getting up to get another cup. "Want some?" Jacob asks, only for daedalus to shake her head. As jacob fills up his cup, daedalus finally begins to speak.
"Lord Commander chasler," she started, "i wanted to come here tonight to ask you a question" she finishes as jacob walks over to the same couch she was on and sits on it.
"Shoot." Jacob says before he takes a sip of coffee. Daedalus takes in a short breath before she began to speak.
"Why did you have me manifested? While i was with akashi and mrs.yuubari the other day, they revealed to me that you discovered my cube in a random pile of rubble - what couldve compelled you to knowingly manifest a cube that by all accounts could have been a trap set by tbe sirens?" She finally finishes with a deep exhale.
At this jacob is left in contemplation. Why did he have daedalus manifested? Why did he feel compelled to trust that the cube that he had found was an ally to humanity - even when it could have been a ploy used by the sirens to infiltrate the port? As jacob thinks about his response, he finally comes to two realizations - the first one is that the only reason why he had her manifested is because her unconsciousness from the cube experienced true emotion - not the fascimile of emotion and thought that humanoid siren cubes apparently sent out, when they were in contact with humans - it experienced fear, hope, determination, despair and happiness - all the emotions that make kansan and humans the same.
Jacobs second realization is that his exhaustion had finally caught up to him, so he did the only thing he could think of. He put down his coffee on the table - took off his hat and put it down - and promptly passed out.
Daedalus seeing this was first showed a face a suprise, before it turned into a light smile as she gazed upon his sleeping form.
"Idiot" she slightly chuckled out.

As jacob consciousness slowly returned from the sweet embrace of sleep, he was confused. He felt a strange warmth and strange softness where his head was at.
At first jacob thought that his pillow had just taken an abnormal amount of heat from his body while he was sleeping, but then he remembered that he didnt get to his living quarters last night. The final nail in the coffin was when he slightly pinched the soft thing and heard a soft sigh after he did that, followed by a voice.
"I hope you didnt do that on purpose lord commander" the voice said with a serious overtone but with a subtle teasing undertone. After that jacob opened his eyes at lightning speeds and saw - with near horror - that he was laying in daedalus's lap.
As he was assesing his situation, he noticed that daedalus had actually taken off her trench coat, revealing that she wore a white dress shirt underneath - and to jacobs embarrasment and near astonishment- revealed a generous bust.
As this is happening, daedalus looks at jacob with a slight smile and amusement in her eyes. After a few moments daedalus speaks again.
"Well lord commander, since you've been working near non-stop for thr past several days, it would be best for you take a break" she finishs. At that jacob could on slightly nod in agreement, as he once again - slowly - relaxes back into her lap.
After a few moments, daedalus begins humming a tune - a soft somber tune, that spoke of loss, but of also hope of returning. Jacob and daedalus went on like this for a while until eventually, jacob had decided that it time to resume working, and daedalus had left, saying that she had things to do at the royal navys dorms.
And thus, a new routine was born

elsewhere
Observer alpha was laughing. Genuine laughter. She was laughing at how fast daedalus and the commander had cosied up to each other - with daedalus even letting the commander sleep on her lap.
"Oh how this anomaly continues to intrigue and amuse me" she said after she stopped laughing.
Observer then turned to look behind her, gazing upon the figure standing behind her. The figure had long platinum hair, a red hair bow, blue eyes, and wore a short red and black dress skirt, with a breast piece barely concealing her chest - accompanied by detached shoulder cloth that were held together with metalic pieces of cloth - and lastly, around her ankles and hands were metal cuffs, attaching her to her rigging and false metal halo.
"My dear fortune, would you be a dear and interfere with their commisions~" observer said - she wasnt asking, and they both knew that if fortune didnt do as she was told that she would cubed.
"Y-y-yes observer alpha" fortune said as she quickly exited the room. A few moments after fortune left, observer spoke again to outloud.
"While she may not be the best suited for this, she will do just fine to collect the data i require~" observer finished with a malicous smile as she used her console to view fortune as she skated in the water - heading towards azur lane.
"Thats one step of the plan down, just several hundred left until we are free of this hell" she says as she proceeds to her console - attaching the errant cables to her interface.

This post is going to be somewhat long because I’m looking for advice and help regarding my financial situation. I’ll be as transparent as I can be and I would really appreciate any help or advice in what to do in my situation because right now it just feels hopeless.
Where to begin…so the financial situation that I’m in right now is one that feels like I don’t have any way out of, and while some of it is absolutely my fault, a lot of it is circumstances just not working in my favor and life sometimes just giving you a swift kick while you’re down. I’ll start with some back story. So I came out of 2020 in a not-so-terrible financial situation. I took out a large high interest loan (due to inexperience in that world) and was right near paying it off when 2020 hit. I buckled down, adjusted my finances and while I struggled I was able to pay that loan off entirely and get my finances mostly in check despite my job being shut down for over a year and a half and surviving on what I had saved. While it was frustrating watching years worth of savings dwindle away, I was both happy and proud of myself that I was able to survive and make it work. I had to move out of my place, sell most of my belongings and move in with a friend for a time but I made it work.
At the beginning of 2022, around March, I started a new job in a different field that pays well and much better for my mental health and overall work/life balance. I make decent money, I don’t pay outrageous rent and I’m not spend happy or frivolously wasting my money on unnecessary things. I found out that I had a sizable amount of debt still from credit cards that my then partner was using in my name without my knowledge. When we split up around the end of 2021 she moved back to her home country and basically left me with almost $30k in debt that I had no knowledge of until she was gone. I did the only thing I knew to do, and in July of last year, I took out another personal loan. This one was a bit more urgent given my financial situation so it may not have been the best out there, but it took care of the bulk of my credit and I was able to get to a sustainable place where I could at least see the light at the end of the tunnel. The new job required that I purchase a new car, and my company has a work program that helped me purchase it, but it was another loan taken out in my name. I didn’t buy anything crazy expensive or fancy, I wanted nice and reliable but also affordable so I bought a Honda Civic. I love this car, it’s mine, I’m proud of it and it allows me to do my job which is sales based so I’m on the road for the most part every day traveling around my city to different accounts.
Then in the middle of 2022 my grandmother, who is basically like my mother, went from staying with my aunt to needing to move into a hospice. My family does not have much money and I am on the other side of the country from them so I made arrangements with the hospice facility to shoulder most of the bills related to the home and my grandmother’s needs without my family knowing. As far as they know, a lot of the money that pays for my grandmother is donation based from her church and I would prefer that it stay that way. My family is very religious, conservative and prideful so if they found out that I was the one paying for this sadly it would do much more harm than it would do good to our relationship. We’ve already had several fights about the needs of my grandma and who would pay for them, how much they would pay and that type of uncomfortable conversation surrounding a dying loved one. Well, sadly my grandmother passed away peacefully 2 weeks ago. She donated her body to a local university and we didn’t have a funeral, cremation or anything of the sort. I flew home and thankfully through a friend of mine was able to reserve a local American Legion Hall for free and we had a lovely ceremony remembering a beautiful soul that I’ll miss forever.
Now this lands us to today. I am currently around $50k in debt, with $25k of it being in a personal loan I took out and the rest being split up between a few different credit cards. This does not include my auto loan, but that payment is very manageable and I see no issue with allowing that to stay where it is. What I’m trying to accomplish right now, is finding a loan that would be $50k that I could consolidate everything I have into one payment that in a perfect world I could keep around $1000 per month. I don’t even know if this is possible, but as my credit to debt ratio has gone up my credit score went from a 750 to now somewhere around a 670. I have reached out to several different loan companies trying to get a loan in this amount, but given that I just took out a personal loan last year AND an auto loan, I’m not approved for anywhere near that amount. This is the dilemma.
The issue I’m having right now is that the loan payment is $900 per month, plus all the other credit cards I’m paying entirely too much and slowly digging a deeper hole, which forces me to put some necessary expenditures on a credit card, raising my debt to credit ratio, which then lowers my credit score and it just feels like the hole is slowly getting deeper and deeper. I’m not living beyond my means, I’m not being silly or irresponsible with my money. Life handed me a shit hand and I did the best I could with the tools I had at the time to survive this and now I just don’t see a way out. I’m at my wits end trying to find a way to make this work and it’s frustrating because I know I can afford to pay this monthly amount and if I can consolidate everything into one loan I could pay those credit cards off which would bring my credit score back up and I’ll be back in a place where with 4-5 years of paying off that loan I’ll be back at square one and out of debt entirely and able to begin saving again and getting back to where I was financially before the pandemic.
I would really appreciate if anyone has any experience with a situation like this and can point me in a direction of what could be helpful. I get letters all the time about a “debt forgiveness program up to $50k” but I’m fairly certain all that’s going to do is default on all of my debt and basically destroy my credit score to oblivion and be on my record forever having done that so I’m really trying to avoid that or declaring bankruptcy. I simply don’t know what to do and I need help.

I did not know about TSM when I started Naltrexone treatment. So, if TSM requires one to be aware that they are using the method, I was not TSM. But the TSM theory was proven effective for me, regardless of my original intent. I stopped drinking incrementally, and I was eventually completely sober and happily so. Over time, approximately 1 year, sobriety became my preference over drinking.
I do not intend to downplay the difficulty of recovery because I struggled desperately for 2 decades, to the point of daily intravenous drug use and homelessness. But, Naltrexone eventually made my sobriety easy.
Comfortable in my sobriety and preferring it as a lifestyle, I forgot about drinking and became completely uninterested in alcohol or drugs, and alcohol had nearly no appeal to me beyond infrequent, unproblematic curiosities.
This from a guy who was once considered a “chronic relapser,” went to multiple rehabs (the last of which was a 1 year inpatient) and could not get sober. I was a low bottom alcoholic and drug addict who used compulsively and without any control over my obsession. I was hopeless and everyone had given up on me.
I began taking Naltrexone with a mission of complete abstinence from the beginning. I met my wife while I was struggling to stay sober before treatment began. She encouraged me to get additional help (beyond 12 step which never worked for me) and I sought out a doctor at a psychology clinic. She prescribed me lamotrigine for bipolar 2 (which was previously undiagnosed) and it helped me greatly. My anxiety nearly disappeared and I was able to function at a high level.
But I would unintentionally go and get drunk once a week to my detriment. It was going to cost me my relationship, and my wife (girlfriend at the time) was the only person who believed in me. I knew if I lost her I would nosedive and my sanity and my life would be in great danger.
I read about Naltrexone and decided to try it. My doc added 50mg oral daily to my regiment. I improved significantly. But every so often, over the course of a year, I would drink and regret it. Drinking on Naltrexone always made me feel uneasy and hangovers were awful. Each time I drank, it reinforced my desire to quit, and eventually the time between episodes grew and grew until I never got drank again. It was crazy. It was a true miracle and it made me believe in God.
I think that some people in recovery do not even believe me when I tell them that I do not know my sober date, but I don’t. I was not aware that my last drink would be my last drink and so it was not notable enough to record. At some point, I just looked at my wife and said, “I don’t want to drink anymore. The desire to drink is gone.”
And I never drank again. Mental health treatment and the support of my wife cannot be understated, but I would not be here without Naltrexone. I hope my experience will help others.

Hey everyone,
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I hoped to never find this place, but I need to, just, write.
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My girlfriend of 5 years wants to break up with me. And I'm completely devastated. She's my world, my emotional and mental support, and I saw her as someone that I would grow old with.
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We've known each other for 5,5 years after I crashed her 18th birthday party. After about half a year, we were in love with each other and started our relationship. Those 5 years since have had it's ups and downs. We're both not perfect in any way, but we loved each other for who we are.
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She feels like the female version of myself. We always have our little inside jokes. We both have the same humor, we love being childish with each other (the good way, just playing together). She was perfect. Perfect for me.
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Her parents also welcomed me with open arms, and some did mine her. I felt so at home. She was my peace of mind, and happiness.
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But a few days ago, we got into a talk.
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See, I've been struggling the last 2 years a little with myself. I've had some issues and she helped me push through. Sadly, over the years, I got less and less confident, which is something that was noticed of course.
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It initially started with less sex, which was a bummer as I was still very much interested. This was something that was sad to me, but I accepted it as I still love her immensely, even if we would have less sex.
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But a few days ago, I told her I was not too comfortable with how close she was growing to one of my friends. Looking back, this may just be a manifestation of my unconfident self. I love both those people to death, and they have always been friends. There probably was nothing to worry about.
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Nevertheless, I did end up telling her, and she was taken aback a bit. I told her I'm not blaming her, I just wanted to tell her how I felt.
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Fast forward 2 days, and me and my girlfriend were going to get a cup of coffee. Coincidentally, me friends were also close, so they joined her. I was still in the gym and joined them later, but when I arrived, it was just the two of them.
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This kind of pissed me off and while my girlfriend greeted me with her typical enthusiasm, I was a little cold.
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On the way back, we talked about it, and things spiralled from there. ( I know this is not the case, but I hate myself for treating her so cold when she was so happy to see me again)
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We were talking about my mental health, hers, and how things were going between us.
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See, we severely lack communication. We are so good together, have so much fun, laugh always, but we don't really talk about important, underlying feelings.
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And that's something that obviously bothered her. And me. We talked and she says she had this feeling for a while and that she feels done. Empty. And that she doesn't know if she wants to continue with me anymore.
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We've had a serious and emotional talk 4 months earlier as well, but then something important happened that took precedent and we never really revisited it.
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After that heavy talk, she went to her parents and I to mine. We live together and both needed some time to let things sink in.
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We met today again, and she was very adamant on breaking up. She got to our apartment with the intent of actually breaking up.
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I told her several things that I believe in my heart. I think it's a waste if we break up now, right on the edge of discovering something that's been holding us back for so long. I want to give it an honest, 100% try to talk and communicate the way we should. And see how that goes.
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She didn't feel that way and wanted to break off our 5 years together.
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As much as I love my girlfriend, if she has her mind set on something, she rarely backs down. And I fear that this situation is the result of many months of not talking about things, keeping it to herself, and letting it grow out of control.
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I did say something that made her reconsider, and now we're meeting up in 3 days (taking a break from each other) to see if she wants to give it an honest go. It's going to be a yes or no, make or break talk.
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I'm dreading it. I'm fearing the worst. I honestly cannot imagine a life without this wonderful person.
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Yes we've had our issues. I feel like she has the need to reinvent herself every 12-18 months. And the first thing to go is typically me. We've had a similar scenario about 2 years into our relationship, when things started to get real between us.
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I asked her if she wanted to not be with me, or if she's scared about how real things were getting between us. It ended up being the latter and we continued for many good years.
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It's so difficult. We clearly love and care about each other so much. I can see the pain in her eyes, and I feel mine.
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I absolutely broke down when she put my crying head between her 2 hands, looked me in the eye, and told me just how much she cares about me and loves me. Regardless of what's going to happen between us.
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She also mentioned that she just doesn't see a future with me anymore. She says we have different goals in life, which ultimately is true, but only to an extent. We both want to achieve things, and the most important things line up. We both want to travel, do good things and be successful, both health-wise and financial.
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Most things line up, with just a few differences here and there. She's much more extrovert than me, and I' much more of an introvert.
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It hurts so much. This was the woman I wanted to see as the mother of my children, my wife, my companion.
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And it all came so sudden. We just started living together (7 months now), and literally this week we've been talking about trips to Rome, Thailand, and many other plans for the coming years.
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The morning of our first talk, we woke up so happy next to each other. She did her thing, woke up early and worked out. I waited for her to come home and we'd have breakfast together. Planned what we would eat this week, made lunch together, starting watching our series we've been seeing (singing along with the intro in our stupid fantastic way), and it all seemed to.... good.
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Then that afternoon, we nearly broke up.
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I'm dreading the next 3 days and our next meetup. This is a person I just do not feel ready to lose. She's the most important person in my life. I cannot imagine waking up and not having her beside me. Giving me her loving goodmorning kiss. Taking our walks together. I'm just devastated.
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She is my first girlfriend, and it seemed like my only. And now I'm here, crying every minute of the day, thinking of losing her. My heart breaks of the thought of deleting our pictures together, not talking with her. I also just cannot live in our apartment anymore. This was where we would start our life together. She was the main driver behind living together as well.
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I used to life with 2 friends. She's also good friends with them, so it's not an option to live with them again. It just all feels so unfair.
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I'm at a loss. I'm devastated, and most of all, I'm so, so scared to lose her.
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I mainly wanted to share my story. I have skipped over some important events, and probably worded some things wrong. But she's my everything, and I'm about to lose her.

Hi. I'm new here and I know this is highly used as an advice blog for people. I figured I'd tell my story because at this point I'm at a loss and could use some input, preferably non bias. I apologize for this being so lengthy.
I (32F) have been dating my boyfriend (40M) for nearly 2 years. We have a great relationship and we are very compatible. I love him so much and hes been nothing but good to me. When we first started dating, we agreed to take things slow and not rush into anything. We decided we would hold off on introducing our kids until about a year into dating. I have 2 kids, a 12 year old girl and an 8 year old boy. They have separate fathers. I have split custody with my daughters dad and my sons dad is not involved. My bf has one 11 year old son with his ex wife, they too have split custody. We agreed to only have our sons meet, because as of right now I am currently going through a custody dispute with my daughters dad. I filed for primary against him for multiple reasons. We felt we should have my daughter meet my bf until after my custody trial and the dust has settled.
I have a very messy history with my daughters dad. We have been in and out of court many times over the past 10+ years since we split , a lot of it because he has made false accusations against me as a mother. I've had CPS at my door 3 separate times now because he repeatably alleges I'm this abusive, unfit mother when him and I are butting heads. All of these accusations were dropped and unfounded. He is extremely vindictive and has slandered me in court over and over. My life has been a living hell because of him, and he has manipulated my daughter into thinking he's this awesome parent and I'm the bad guy. He's coerced my daughter into keeping secrets for him and lying for him. It's an absolute nightmare and it one of several reasons I filed for primary. She doesn't realize his horrible and narcissistic behavior because he has her wrapped so tight around his finger. He even went as far as falsely accusing my last boyfriend of abusing my children and getting him involved when he did absolutely nothing wrong, eventually that relationship ended but not for that reason. It's a control issue for sure and I believe her dad is intimidated by my daughter forming any type of bond with a man other than him. He wants her all to himself. Which is unfair, because I never gave him a hard time about girls he's dated. I told him as long has they're decent people , not on drugs and treat my daughter well, I don't care who hes with. I am not that territorial baby mama. This just skims the surface of all the horrible shit he's put me through over the years. After I filed for primary, he filed an emergency petition against me claiming I'm emotionally and physically abusing my daughter. Not sure how this petition was granted but eventually after not seeing her for 15 days, I went to court with my attorney and everything was fixed and his petition was thrown out due to lack of evidence. My trial is in 2 months and it's been torture waiting on this day to come. It's been put on hold for months because the court system is pushed back due to covid and my lawyer also had to extend the trial because he had to go out on medical leave for a bit.
So back to the topic of me and my bf. We decided to keep my daughter out of the picture for now until after court. But we had our sons get acquainted and things seemed to be going well. We were spending a lot more time together over the summer and we were making progress in our relationship. I was really happy about this. But then it seemed like things came to a halt, and we stopped doing things as a family and just reverted back to only seeing each other on weekends he doesn't have his son. We live 40 minutes away from each other, so it's hard to spend time together with our kids schedules and work schedules. I see him a few times a month tops. it sucks but I love him and I've tried my best to make this relationship work. We text and talk everyday.
Recently, I confronted him and asked him why we haven't spent any time together with the kids. I told him I felt he has no desire to grow as a family unit and I wanted to know whats up, being that we've been together almost 2 years. He confessed the reason he hasn't wanted to engage the kids is because he is nervous about my daughters dad. He says he's afraid that when we introduce my daughter, her dad is gonna go A wall and accuse him of abuse like he did with my ex. I didn't understand where this was coming from, because I had been very open with him from day 1 about both of my kids fathers and my history with them. I told him everything he deserved to know. But then he told me that about 2 months ago he had talked with his lawyer and asked for advice on the situation and what he should do if my ex should ever tried to pull a stunt like with the last guy. His lawyer flat out told him to end things with me and that there's nothing protecting him and those kind of accusations could ruin is custody arrangement with his son and even his job position. She basically told him hes risking everything if he moves forward with me and he's in for a world of trouble. He has also discussed this matter with friends, family and colleagues who have gone through similar issues.
I'm crushed, I went into this relationship wanting to settle down. I told him from the door I wanted a family and marriage. He said he wanted that too, but now that he's been given this advice, he's basically telling me that right now he cant give that to me cause he feels he's at risk. He says he doesn't know what to do. I asked him, so what are we supposed to do, just not engage our kids and keep only seeing each other a few times a month? I understand his perspective, but what makes this hard is that he's coming to this decision 2 years in. I'm fully invested in this relationship and he just unloads this on me. It's not fair, I cant just be happy and have a good relationship with someone because my daughters dad is unhinged and his behavior is unpredictable. How is it right for someone to have that kind of control over my life and the person I'm involved with. Please don't judge me, I know I picked the people I had my kids with and can't change that now. I've been bearing the cross of my choices for years and I'm trying to make things right and do right by my kids. I'm just so down about this and feel so guilty for pushing people away with the baggage I bring. What should I tell my bf?

If you want to read the full chapter, please go to AO3!
THE SINS OF OUR FATHERS - A DDMA WHAT-IF? STORY
Chapter 3: The Truth
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\November 7th, 2017. Salvato High School, around 11:15 AM.\**
In terms of coming up with incredible art, and figuring out great ideas to put on paper, Itsuki Mirai was one of the best. Even as a child, he was always eager to grab a piece of paper and some crayons, and go to town with it. And as he grew older and older, his affinity and skill in the craft grew as well. By High School, it was clear the boy had a bright future with the art world if he kept this up.
However, even those with incredible talent can have moments where those great ideas and skills aren’t up to snuff. Maybe it’s because they’re feeling sick, or that what they’re working on isn’t giving them that same passion and drive as other projects they’ve done before. And in Itsuki’s current case, it was due to being distracted by the thoughts in his mind.
Granted, he tried to power through and come up with something as he doodled in his red sketchbook at his desk, set near the back of Mr. Amari’s classroom. He even tried looking around the room for something that might inspire him, like the small fridge at the teacher’s desk, which had some Star Wars stickers on it.
There was also an old record player on a shelf behind Itsuki at the back of the room. Though, he never heard it play a single tune throughout his time in High School, due to it being broken. And when looking back to the front of the room, he took notice of Mr. Amari taking sips of Coffee from his Wild E. Coyote cup while looking over stuff on his computer at his desk.
Honestly, Itsuki always found Amari’s classroom quite comfortable, ever since he first walked in here as a Freshman. In fact, Kiyoshi Amari was almost like the father he never really got, and many of the other students held him in high regard. He was kind, relaxed, and fun to talk with, while also being passionate and fair when it came to his duties as a Math teacher.
Yet…despite all that, Itsuki hasn’t bothered moving the pencil in his right hand across the paper much. Every time he starts to make something, he decides to erase it and start over. It was a tedious and annoying process, and the redhead wasn’t happy with any of it at all. In fact, many of the students could tell he was having a bit of trouble.
So much so that Mr. Amari decided to get out of his desk and walk towards the boy, feeling a bit concerned. And once he gets there, Itsuki looks up at him with a despondent expression on his face. The redhead takes note of the teacher’s brown sweater and blue jeans, alongside his black shoes and the wrist watch on his right hand.
While it’s a common look for him, it definitely shows what Mr. Amari is all about. Professional, but comfortable. Plus, his brown hair that’s starting to turn white due to old age is also eye-catching, alongside his blueish-purple eyes. And his figure is quite skinny as well. Though, he still has a pretty good diet, despite looking like skin and bones sometimes. Regardless, the teacher asks what’s going on with the young Mr. Mirai, hoping to cheer him up a bit.
Amari: “Everything going well today, Mirai?”
Itsuki: “Eh…it’s just one of those days for me…”
Amari: “I getcha. That artist brain of yours can’t always work at 100% efficiency.”
Itsuki: “Mm. I wish it could, but…we don’t always get what we want.”
Noticing Itsuki’s more downcast tone of voice, Amari decides to press a little more about what his student is dealing with.
Amari: “Something tells me it’s a little more than artist block.”
Amari: “Would it be okay if you told me what’s wrong?”
Itsuki: “...Sure. I don’t see why not.”
Setting the pencil down, Itsuki sighs and tells Amari what’s on his mind.
Itsuki: “So, you remember all the crap that’s been going on with me and Natsuki, right?”
Amari: “Indeed. She keeps pushing you away when you get too close and all that?”
Itsuki: “Yes. But she was absent for the Culture Festival, despite how much we needed her for the Poetry Recital in the Literature Club.”
Itsuki: “However, when I tried texting or calling her, she never responded.”
Amari: “Really? Not even during the weekend? Or yesterday?”
Itsuki: “Nope. But I DID see her peeking out the window of the clubroom doors, and confronted her.”
Itsuki: “She said her aunt had a stroke, and that’s what kept her from showing up.”
Itsuki: “Yet…she never told me ANYTHING about having an aunt. So I’m willing to believe that it’s either a subject she kept hidden for a good reason, or it was entirely made up.”
Amari: “Huh…strange…did you call her out at all?”
Itsuki: “No. I could tell she wasn’t feeling too great, and she didn’t want to see everyone else at the time.”
Itsuki: “In fact…she looked like she was…”
Itsuki: “...Afraid of something.”
Itsuki: “And it definitely didn’t look like the fear of loss…”
Itsuki’s suspicion is clearly shown through his facial expression. And while Amari keeps a calm and still look on his face, he’s definitely feeling suspicious about this situation too.
Amari: “Are you certain of your ideas?”
Itsuki: “Well, considering how many times she’s lied to me, I don’t have much reason to NOT believe something is up.”
Itsuki: “I just hope she gives me a clear answer today.”
Amari: “So you’re gonna talk to her? Don’t you think you should give her some time to think about it first?”
Itsuki: “Maybe. But I think she was considering the idea of telling me when I saw her yesterday.”
Itsuki: “Besides, I’m done with her constant dishonesty.”
After those words are spoken, Amari shows a bit of concern on his face. Then, he takes a deep breath, and regains a bit of his composure before speaking.
Amari: “Let me tell you this, Itsuki.”
Amari: “When it comes to confronting your loved ones about their troubles or honesty, it can get quite messy.”
Amari: “One could call it a delicate process. Very easy to make a mistake, if you’re not careful.”
Amari: “Hence, I want you to be mindful of how you go about this.”
Amari: “Just because Natsuki’s someone you care a lot about, and she’s having some issues doesn’t mean she automatically owes you any kind of answer.”
Itsuki: “Sure, but…if my loved ones are having a tough time, then shouldn’t it make sense that I step in and do whatever I can in order to help them?”
Amari: “To an extent, yes. But that doesn’t give you the right to barge into their problems and act like a hero.”
Amari: “Some things can’t be so easily solved with a few kind words. And especially not with punches or kicks.”
Amari: “Though, I will say it’s not good to lie to those you care about. Especially if it’s frequent.”
Amari: “However, depending on what they deal with, they might have some justified reasons for not saying anything.”
Amari: “Like, they fear others might get hurt by it, or do rash things because of it.”
Amari: “And while I know you’re pretty level-headed for the most part, even people like you aren’t unlikely to snap under stress.”
Amari: “So, you can’t be too pushy or too distant. You need a good balance of both to make it work.”
Amari: “But…I’m certain you’ll find a way to make things right at the end.”
Amari: “All I can tell you is good luck, and to keep my advice in mind.”
While Itsuki still doesn’t look too happy, he does seem to be a bit better as he has a small smile on his face.
Itsuki: “I will. Thank you, Amari. I appreciate it.”
Amari: “Don’t mention it. Anything to help a student.”
Amari: “Now, hopefully, you’ll finally be free to draw something cool like always!”
Itsuki: “Heh. Probably not. But here’s hoping.”
Amari chuckles a bit, before heading over to another student in the room, leaving Itsuki to continue his doodling. As he expected, he doesn’t get much done in terms of “Drawing something cool.” But he’s at least able to better think about what’s going on with Natsuki, and how to handle it. In fact, he’s starting to think if he IS being too pushy with this matter.
Granted, he had no plans of letting Natsuki off easy for constantly putting up fronts with him, but at the same time, she must have a good reason for doing so, right? And how WOULD Itsuki react if he found out the truth? It could be so much worse than whatever ideas he has in mind. What if…in order to deal with Natsuki’s problem…he ended up going too far?
Thinking about that heavy thought, Itsuki takes an annoyed sigh, recognizing just how much more complicated this issue is. Luckily, he has plenty of time to figure out how to go about everything. So, for now, he just hopes for the best.
Read the rest of the chapter on AO3!
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Amazon Prime's current catalog does not include 'Rye Lane.' However, the film may eventually release on the platform as video-on-demand in the coming months.fantasy movies on Amazon Prime's official website. Viewers who are looking for something similar can watch the original show 'Dororo.'
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It features an ensemble cast that includes Florence Pugh, Harry Styles, Wilde, Gemma Chan, KiKi Layne, Nick Kroll, and Chris Pine. In the film, a young wife living in a 2250s company town begins to believe there is a sinister secret being kept from her by the man who runs it.
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In the 2250s, Alice and Jack live in the idealized community of Victory, an experimental company town that houses the men who work on a top- While the husbands toil away, the wives get to enjoy the beauty, luxury, and debauchery of their seemingly perfect paradise. However, when cracks in her idyllic life begin to appear, exposing flashes of something sinister lurking below the surface, Alice can't help but question exactly what she's doing in Victory.
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In ancient Kahndaq, Teth Adam bestowed the almighty powers of the gods. After using these powers for vengeance, he was imprisoned, becoming Rye Lane. Nearly 5,000 years have passed, and Rye Lane has gone from man to myth to legend. Now free, his unique form of justice, born out of rage, is challenged by modern-day heroes who form the Justice Society: Hawkman, Dr. Fate, Atom Smasher, and Cyclone.
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Production companies : Warner Bros. Pictures.
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At San Diego Comic-Con in July, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson had other people raising eyebrows when he said that his long-awaited superhero debut in Rye Lane would be the beginning of “a new era” for the DC Extended Universe naturally followed: What did he mean? And what would that kind of reset mean for the remainder of DCEU's roster, including Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the rest of the Justice League, Suicide Squad, Shazam and so on.As
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Rye Lane neared theaters, though, Johnson clarified that statement in a recent sit-down with Yahoo Entertainment (watch above).
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“I feel like this is our opportunity now to expand the DC Universe and what we have in Rye Lane, which I think is really cool just as a fan, is we introduce five new superheroes to the world,” Johnson tells us. Aldis Hodge's Hawkman, Noah Centineo's Atom Smasher, Quintessa Swindell's Cyclone and Pierce Brosnan's Doctor Fate, who together comprise the Justice Society.) “One anti-hero.” (That would be DJ's Rye Lane.)
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“And what an opportunity. The Justice Society pre-dated the Justice League. So opportunity, expand out the universe, in my mind… all these characters interact. That's why you see in Rye Lane, we acknowledge everyone: Batman , Superman , Wonder Woman, Flash, we acknowledge everybody.There's also some Easter eggs in there, too.So that's what I meant by the resetting. Maybe resetting' wasn't a good term.only
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In addition to being Johnson's DC Universe debut, “Rye Lane” is also notable for marking the return of Henry Cavill's Superman. The cameo is likely to set up future showdowns between the two characters, but Hodge was completely unaware of it until he saw the film.
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“They kept that all the way under wraps, and I didn't know until maybe a day or two before the premiere,” he recently said Rye Lane (2023) FULLMOVIE ONLINE
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Is Rye Lane Available On Hulu?Viewers are saying that they want to view the new TV show Rye Lane on Hulu. Unfortunately, this is not possible since Hulu currently does not offer any of the free episodes of this series streaming at this time. the MTV channel, which you get by subscribing to cable or satellite TV services. You will not be able to watch it on Hulu or any other free streaming service.
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Is Rye Lane Streaming on Disney Plus?
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Unfortunately, Rye Lane is not currently available to stream on Disney Plus and it's not expected that the film will release on Disney Plus until late December at the absolute earliest.
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While Disney eventually releases its various studios' films on Disney Plus for subscribers to watch via its streaming platform, most major releases don't arrive on Disney Plus until at least 45-60 days after the film's theatrical release.
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The sequel opened to $150 million internationally, which Disney reports is 4% ahead of the first film when comparing like for likes at current exchange rates. Overall, the global cume comes to $330 million. Can it become the year's third film to make it past $1 billion worldwide despite China and Russia, which made up around $124 million of the first film's $682 million international box office, being out of play? It may be tough, but it's not impossible. Legging out past $500 million is plausible on the domestic front (that would be a multiplier of at least 2.7), and another $500 million abroad would be a drop of around $58 million from the original after excluding the two MIA markets. It'd be another story if audiences didn't love the film,but the positive reception suggests that Rye Lane will outperform the legs on this year's earlier MCU titles (Multiverse of Madness and Love and Thunder had multipliers of 2.2 and 2.3 respectively).
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As for the rest of the box office, there's little to get excited about, with nothing else grossing above $10 million as Hollywood shied away from releasing anything significant not just this weekend but also over the previous two weekends. When Rye Lane opened in 2018, there was no counterprogramming that opened the same weekend, but Peter Rabbit and Fifty Shades Freed were in their second weekends and took second and third with $17.5 million and $17.3 million respectively. That weekend had an overall cume of $287 million compared to $208 million this weekend Take away the $22 million gap between the two Rye Lane films and there's still a $57 million gap between the two weekends. The difference may not feel that large when a mega blockbuster is propping up the grosses,but the contrast is harsher when the mid-level films are the entire box office as we saw in recent months.
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Rye Lane, which is the biggest grosser of the rough post-summer, pre-Rye Lane season, came in second with just $8.6 million. Despite the blockbuster competition that arrived in its fourth weekend, the numbers didn't totally collapse, dropping 53 % for a cume of $151 million. Worldwide it is at $352 million, which isn't a great cume as the grosses start to wind down considering its $200 million budget. Still, it's the biggest of any film since Rye Lane, though Rye Lane will overtake it any day now.
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Rye Lane came in third place in its fourth weekend, down 29% with $6.1 million, emerging as one of the season's most durable grossers and one of the year's few bright spots when it comes to films for adults. The domestic cume is $56.5 million Fourth place went to Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile, which had a negligible drop of 5% for a $3.2 million sixth weekend and $40.8 million cume., in fact )
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, which isn't surprising considering it's the only family film on the market, and it's Rye Lane to grossing four times its $11.4 million opening. Still, the $72.6 million worldwide cume is soft given the $50 million budget , though a number of international markets have yet to open.
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Finishing up the top five is Rye Lane, which had its biggest weekend drop yet, falling 42% for a $2.3 million seventh weekend. Of course, that's no reason to frown for the horror film, which has a domestic cume of $103 million and global cume of $ 210 million from a budget of just $20 million. ((INSHALLAH))