Life comes in many flavours, and each day we face many questions. Some of these questions are judgements. And some of these judgements involve others in significant and meaningful ways. On the one hand, we seek to satisfy our personal needs -- self-determination -- while maintaining a sense of virtue -- compassion and justice. For many, there is too much injustice and suffering just to ignore. On the other hand, balancing the needs of us and them beckons honest appraisal of situations and people. But where and how should our finger be pointed?

Core psychology of blame

Among the very earliest struggles in a person's life is the process of ego development. In its simplest, ego is about separating good from bad, self from other. Various theories and models strive to explain the ego, or its development, from various perspectives. For the purposes here, I will be referencing object relations theory, which is part psychoanalytic psychology and deals with very early development, starting at birth. A few things will be slightly simplified to keep the text concise.
Within this theory, the first several months involve what is termed the paranoid-schizoid position. The "schizoid" aspect refers to a cognitive-emotional process known as splitting. This is where external objects, including people, are split into opposing mental parts -- to form part objects, or the "good object" version and the "bad object" version of each meaningful external object or phenomenon. For example, when the caregiver is gratifying to the infant, that part object is the "good caretaker"; and when not so gratifying, that caretaker is the "bad caretaker". At this stage of development and understanding, these two "part objects" are not seen as from the same source. Rather, each is a separate thing appearing and disappearing as circumstances and feelings change. The key word here is separation, which we will come back to later.
The other aspect of the paranoid-schizoid position -- the "paranoid" aspect -- refers to a curious side effect of splitting everything into "good" and "bad". Because each "part object" is either all good, or all bad, and because the appearance and disappearance of these mysterious entities is more-or-less out of control, the infant begins to resent and fear the bad objects that keep happening. That is, the baby hates the bad objects but loves the good objects. This is perhaps the very first stage of moral awareness -- raw, albeit mistaken judgement; love the good; hate the bad; pure, uninhibited attraction and repulsion. As a result, or side effect, of these negative or aggressive feelings toward "the bad", the baby may fear possible persecution, invoking paranoia. Strange though that may sound, there is a bit more to it.
Splitting, as between the mentioned "good" and "bad" objects, is only half the story. The other half of splitting is between "good self" and "bad self". That is, because in the paranoid-schizoid position, objects are temporary and impermanent, so too is the self temporary and fleeting. Moreover, the self is either in comfort, or in distress, giving either "good self" or "bad self" -- depending on circumstance. Since the "good self" appears with the "good object", and likewise the "bad self" with the "bad object", the child fears the appearance of the "bad object" even more. This is because its presence entails essentially collapse of the previous self-concept, as if to enter a realm of deserved persecution for being the "bad self" -- and hence the emergence of paranoia.
On an interesting aside, this manner of judging objects and selves as good or bad based solely on whether one is currently in comfort or pain is the essence of Stage 1 in Lawrence Kohlberg's stages of moral development. This is a theory on the progression of individuals throughout life in moral reasoning. Stage 1, termed obedience and punishment orientation, judges those in trouble or pain as inherently bad. In many cases, this view basically blames the victim. Further, this type of reasoning is essentially the basis for the "might makes right" mindset seen in some cases of antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). One thing to keep in mind is that we all start there, but not everyone stays there. In this way, having crude moral reasoning later in life is effectively a sign of delayed or regressed development, much like a disability -- ie. "morally disabled".

Completing the person

Eventually, the child will reach a point in development where objects become whole and persistent, able to have simultaneously negative and positive qualities. Objects or people may take on accounts, or balances, allowing for consideration of simple reciprocity, including guilt and reparation. Self and caregiver become distinct entities, where "good" self is no longer lost each time caregiver is absent or busy. Assuming successful progression, blame and judgement is no longer split dichotically between two extremes. Otherwise a new type of splitting is come, where objects and entities, though whole and persistent, are either idealised or devalued.
An important key trend exists between consecutive steps of ego development. This is the trend of expanding persistence and relatedness. In the part-object stage, objects appear and vanish -- some good, some bad. These raw appearances are neither persistent, nor related. In the whole-object stage, objects become persistent, although at first not really related. Because of this initial lack of relation, the secondary type of splitting -- idealisation and devaluation -- is still likely. Basically, since one person or object is fundamentally unrelated to another, including the self, there is "no harm" in seeing one as all good, and another as all bad. Without a stabilising relation, moral judgements can be whimsical yet extreme. A person or object may alternate between being embraced and discarded, depending on present feelings or arrangements. But what makes a stabilising relation?
In general, stabilising relations develop naturally through observation and reason. For example, a caregiver may through time be taken as an intrinsic part of one's need for support. Or a sibling may eventually be seen as fundamentally similar and related. But the building of these relations, or attachments, can be hindered by certain experiences or feelings. For instance, an unstable or unavailable caregiver may leave a child feeling resentment, shame, or guilt. These feelings may then get in the way of building an emotional bond. The resulting lack of security, mixed with possible shame or guilt for not being good enough, may lead to maladaptive and unstable boundaries and self-definition. Some common results are narcissism and borderline personality -- the former as an escape mechanism from feelings of inadequacy, and the latter as unstable border-lines between what is embraced, and what is rejected. These early childhood misgivings can then live on subconsciously, infiltrating the psyche and its future engagements.

Competition and judgement

While the capacity for blame and hate may emerge, as described above, from fundamental urges of attraction and repulsion -- mixed with innate capacity for making inference -- there is another powerful instinct at play. Complex social animals have a built-in game of gene-selection and mate-selection. This game relies on a simple heuristic, or objective -- form competitive hierarchies, and select those at the top. The evolutionary assumption is that competition filters out less desirable code. Without reflection, this pre-configured notion may be taken at face value, often in fact elevated -- whether spoken or kept silent -- to something of religious adherence. But is the argument sound?
In simple times, back in the tribe, individuals tended to grow up closely-knit and fairly uniformly. Regardless which parents one had, pretty much everyone had access to the same quality of food, healthcare, and education. Tools and other amenities could readily be made or obtained by any abled body, often with only modest effort. As a result, there was, compared to modern times, an extremely even playing field. Very little interfered with the above premise that those who achieved success in social hierarchy likely had something special inside. Sure, luck still played a part, but that part was not only far less significant than today, but also far more visible for those of simple tribes. In probably most cases, everybody knew when someone had encountered bad fortune, as individual stories were less hidden.
In the current age, however, personal merit is vastly more obscured and mangled by deceptive forces. The range of disparity in childhood resources and care, the long duration of schooling needed to be competitive, and the sheer price of admission into money-making pursuits, completely destroy any legitimacy the heuristic of selection by social hierarchy may previously have had. Luck may have played a part back then, but today the part played by the lottery of placement into a particular family, time, and place is riddled with inequity. On top of all that, the behaviours and exploits that set one person atop the next are lost from sight through the complex labyrinth of time, legalese, and the unfathomable size of modern society. Hence, the basis of soundness behind judging merit on personal outcome is no longer something that can be supported with any honesty. To praise or blame based on social status and wealth is to partake in folly.

Entity and arrangement defined

Entities are mental objects, and their social accounts, pertaining to people, groups, aggregates, and other moral agents. I say mental objects for two basic reasons. One, individuals and groups change through time. As the saying goes:

"A person never steps into the same river twice; for on the second occasion, one is neither the same person, nor is it the same river" (paraphrased) ~ Heraclitus of Ephesus.

Two, while we may posit that physical substance seems to exist out there, beyond the mind, we nevertheless must work within our mental model, or worldview, when considering those entities and other things of material or mental reality. Hence, entities and objects can be cognised, or considered, solely as mental objects. This phenomenon of the mental becomes even more apparent when we consider the nature of not only being, but identity, character, and personal story. None of these, from what I can tell, can rightly be said to exist outside the mind. Each has arbitrary, situation-specific, and continually shifting boundaries and connotations.
Arrangements, in contrast, are sets of objects; entities; their relative positions; their internal configurations; and their relations and interactions. Arrangements are hence the frameworks in place either materially or logically between and within entities and or objects. Common examples include law, culture, contract, education, and social hierarchy -- but also the physical placement of people and things.
Not surprisingly, the arrangements in place have substantial influence on the outcomes for individuals and society. The same person lowered into two different cultures and circumstances can be expected to have a different time. Education, ideas, values, struggles, and relationships may all be completely changed. The combinations of butterfly effect, disparity of opportunity, and idiosyncratic accident leave open the door for a wide variety of possibility.

Splitting and blaming the entity

Before talking about what to blame, or how to blame it, we might consider some phenomena which may influence one's ability to make sound judgement. As discussed previously, early development can play a big part in both the way one perceives and understands the world, and also the way one feels about, and hence reacts to, situations and challenges within the world. So let us look at some such phenomena.
Splitting, in the post-infancy sense, is the viewing of mental objects -- including and especially people -- as either idealised all good, or devalued all bad. The primary hypothesis goes something along the lines that a child who felt insufficiently loved or attended during infancy and early childhood may develop an internalised sense of unworthiness -- perhaps shame or guilt. In simple terms, the child may internalise a judgement of "not good enough". Since early, particularly pre-linguistic experiences tend to be deeply-seated and hard-conditioned, the person later in life may not only have little if any recall of such experience, but likely has little ability to reflect or challenge the resulting feelings or cognitive distortions. Basically, the only remnant clearly visible may be the feelings and intuitions themselves -- sense of shame, guilt, and never being good enough. However, as with other inescapable negative feelings, the child or later person is prone to forming habits of escape. Most notably here, the person may partake in defence mechanisms, or unconscious patterns of perception and thinking that seek to turn off or escape uncomfortable or stressful cognitions.
Projection is among the most used defence mechanisms. It involves taking an unwanted feeling or judgement, and throwing it upon someone or something else. The idea is to distance oneself from such negative connotations. In the case of internalised shame or guilt of being "not good enough" during childhood, the person is likely to begin casting this judgement upon others. Unreasonable or unattainable standards may be adopted. The world itself may be viewed as inherently broken or untenable. In the case of splitting specifically, black-or-white, all-or-none thinking may be employed to polarise objects or people -- including oneself -- into all good or all bad -- idealisation or devaluation. This type of projection sorts others into something of angels and demons. Furthermore, as in borderline personality disorder, these dichotic judgements may switch regularly depending on current affairs. The key thing to remember here is that projection is done to escape unfaceable feelings or judgements about oneself. Use of this defence mechanism may shift blame from self to another, often in a way that is difficult or impossible for the user to see.
More broadly, splitting belongs to a class of phenomena known as cognitive distortions. In addition to all-or-none thinking, cognitive distortions include overgeneralising, disqualifying the positive, jumping to conclusions, exaggeration, perfectionism, personalisation, always being right, and labelling of others. Obviously these all have significant implications for how one judges others, and indeed how one places blame. For the discussion here, let us talk about one more of these.
Personalisation is when a person takes the blame personally, regardless what external factors may be at play. This style of attribution is inherently self-deprecatory. Alternatively, blame may be placed entirely on another person or group. The distortion here is not that blame is occurring, but that the object is always a conventional moral agent, such as a human or AI. Essentially, an individual with this style of attribution may have an irrational tendency to place blame on agents, rather than circumstances. The trick is understanding why this happens.
As it turns out, the psychology behind placing blame disproportionately on people and other agents, rather than arrangements, is driven by the instinct of social hierarchy. Like brought up earlier, people have a tendency to compare and compete, judging one another into hierarchies of better and worse -- more or less worthy. The more insecure a person feels, or the more internalised shame or sense of inadequacy one has, the more the person may be compelled to cast blame on others. Put simply, insecurity activates the instinct of social hierarchy.
There are some noteworthy side effects to the habit of blaming the agent. One is scapegoating, or the projection of a group's fears and insecurities onto an external object. In scapegoating, the object chosen is often little, if at all, related to the underlying problem or dysfunction. Rather, the group seeks to unload its insecurity onto an unlucky target. This behaviour is much like that done in narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). One might say that groups too, not just people, can have NPD. One common target of scapegoating is minorities, of pretty much any type, who are often blamed for internal inadequacies of the majority regime. Another side effect of blaming the agent is kicking the dog, or chain reactions of blame shifting where each rung of the social hierarchy blames the next rung, all the way to the dog. Similar to scapegoating, kicking the dog picks a target generally unable to defend itself. This style of attribution, moreover, is contagious within organisations, hindering legitimate consideration of how the true underlying issues can best be resolved.

False object of blame

A curious distortion of interest is blindly taking the mental as fact. In the extreme, there is a phenomenon known as psychic equivalence. This is common in children, where the imagined monster under the bed is believed surely to exist. The line between mental and external is still thin. While most older individuals are beyond such explicit equivalence, we nevertheless have no other option for understanding reality than what our mind beholds. Whether for positive or negative, when we see or imagine someone, we are never seeing the real person. What we witness is our mental model, or mental object, of the other. The same goes for their view of us. When they behold us, they are really beholding someone else -- a construct of their imagination. Likewise, when we judge or blame another, we are really blaming someone else -- a monster of our own creation. Sometimes it can help to remember that in our mental, we are all mental.

Another defence mechanism

Aside from cognitive distortions, another key issue stands in the way of finding truth. In order to resolve deeply-seated emotional baggage, that baggage has to be opened. Yet doing so can be both painful and confusing. The mind has another trick up its sleeve to avoid facing the rain -- intellectualisation. Many have heard of rationalisation, or the making up of good-sounding stories to explain otherwise irrational or emotion-based actions and choices. Intellectualisation is related, but distinct. Instead of making up stories to seem more rational, intellectualisation makes up complex frameworks and red herrings to distract oneself and others from getting too close to the underlying feeling. Just like for splitting, the usual root cause is believed to be insecure attachment during infancy and early childhood. The result, especially later in life, is the excessive overreliance on logic and complex frameworks to avoid looking inside toward emotion. Reason becomes a comfortable hideout from hideous feeling. This disposition prevents proper reflection, making it hard or impossible to stop idealising and devaluing others. After all, one cannot stop spilling pain until one finds the source of that pain.

Relation to free will

The notion of free will comes in many definitions. These can get technical. But one fairly common theme is what they seek to support -- often some type of personal, or entity-centric, responsibility or blame. Regardless whether logically sound, the pursuit is in many cases a rationalisation of the instinctual and emotional urges of social hierarchy and ego defence. Essentially, many debates about free will are really struggles, or disagreements, on the nature of blame, and to where it should aim. In general, the belief in free will -- regardless the definition chosen -- is argued in support of some type of entity attribution. Likewise, the disbelief in free will is usually argued in support of system attribution, or blaming the way society or culture is structured. A person may choose a definition specifically to assert the desired end -- a psychological phenomenon called motivated reasoning. This text will avoid choosing a definition, as the underlying principles of behaviour are more important.
A less known paradox exists within the bounds of psychological agency. As is regularly discussed in certain circles of spirituality, there exists a spectrum of self-boundary between immediate, local, relative and timeless, non-local, absolute. This mental state of contraction or expansion depends in part on the grasping or release of fear and attachment. For those unfamiliar, the felt sense of personal agency -- sometimes called doership -- and one's associated beliefs about personal causation, are prone to change, or shift, depending on the present level of anxiety -- especially social and existential anxiety. There are two key aspects related to the sense of being in control.
The first aspect of interest is that of causal scope, or how far we trace the causes and influences behind any given event or decision. For example, as I type this, among the most immediate, or smallest causal scopes, is that of my finger pressing a key. Moving toward greater scope, we may consider that the arm is moving the finger. Further, of course, one might say the body is doing the typing. But the scope need not end there. We can trace back through the causal chains, finding all manner of influence. After all, why do I care about this? What social factors and life experiences influenced this cause? The more immediate the causal scope, the longer and more encumbered the causal chains. Hence, even though when afraid we may focus on the more immediate, hence feeling more in direct control, the more our felt boundaries of self and causality contract, the more short-sighted, distracted, and materially-bound we are. The paradox is in the inverted pyramid of influence atop our actions.
The second aspect relates to impulse and desire versus self-control and composure. Human desire may be divided broadly into basic animal instinct and social image. In Freudian terms, these would be id and ego. The former is often viewed as impulsive or animalistic; the latter as controlled and composed. A meaningful portion of pro-free will arguments seems to equate or compare the composure and planning of socially-conscious actions and choices as representative of the essence of "free will". That is, more "controlled" or deliberate actions were exercising greater free will than their more impulsive or animalistic counterparts. But is this assessment sensible?
On the one hand, being more socially aware likely helps to prevent being manipulated or impeded by others. Most would probably agree thus far. But on the other hand, the more we care about fitting in, or otherwise playing the game of social hierarchy, the more we submit ourselves to social norms and other hive behaviours. Essentially, the more we care about image, the more we let society control us. Despite this emotional tether, those with the biggest egos often proclaim the greatest sense of self-determination. Certainly one could argue that being on top of the hierarchy usually entails greater access to social amenities, some of which offering greater freedom. But there may be some right reservations here. Firstly, the enhanced freedom of high status often comes with enhanced fitment and scrutiny into the externally-defined social mould. This is not always the case, as for example with dictators. But secondly, the vast majority of those playing the ego game are neither in positions of status and power, nor emotionally secure enough to go their own way toward personal happiness. Perhaps most prominently, for most social animals, the hive provides only minimal amenity, and maximal loss of autonomy. Yet the internalised ego and self-concept obscure this reality by making cultural, emotional artifacts of socialisation -- especially during childhood -- appear as self-chosen. The person is thus a product of upbringing, but because these aspects of conditioning are so deep and unconscious, their effects are simply taken for granted as part of who one is. Hence, a second paradox exists in that what may appear as evidence for free will -- ego and composure -- is in fact the very thing enacting the long-seated will of the hive.
On a different note of the free will debate, there seems to be a phenomenon somewhat like "free will of the gaps", where any unknown of psychology or physics is received wholeheartedly as evidence for freedom. While no doubt one may never really know, particularly when stuck in the subjective mind-box, one might consider the effect of splitting, or black-and-white thinking. This habit may, without enough reflection, colour one's assessment of personal agency as either wholly existing, or wholly absent. This is not to say undue burden and other explicit interference is unregarded, but more that even the mere existence of randomness or unpredictability may be taken as sufficient reason to ward off the behavioural influences and effects known by modern psychology. Remember that splitting is driven by egoic insecurity, and that ego has vested interest in building the narrative which best places oneself in the social hierarchy of the mind. Impulsive or controlled, what we choose is there to satisfy instinct, whether animalistic, or socially-focused.

Blaming the arrangement

On the other side of inferred causation -- after instinct -- we have experience, conditioning, and circumstance. Experience and conditioning are carry-overs from past arrangement while circumstance reflects the present arrangement. For simplicity, I will place all three simply under arrangement. To borrow from earlier:

Arrangements ... are sets of objects; entities; their relative positions; their internal configurations; and their relations and interactions. Arrangements are hence the frameworks in place either materially or logically between and within entities and or objects. Common examples include law, culture, contract, education, and social hierarchy -- but also the physical placement of people and things.

With this definition in mind, what then does it mean to blame the arrangement, and what benefit does so doing provide?
First, let us consider the standard Western approach. When we blame the entity, we are accomplishing three fundamental ends:

1. declaring a point of causal significance;
2. downgrading social status;
3. offloading correction;

On the first point, blaming the entity cuts off past influences, including deficiencies and inequalities in access to essential resources like health, respect, education, and experience. One might wonder why respect is included here. But remember the types of issue that arise from internalised shame, guilt, and feelings of inadequacy. These live on subconsciously, causing non-obvious impairments in judgement and performance. Plus they harm health and performance through elevated stress hormones.
On the second point, blaming the entity lowers its public appraisal, thus cutting off access to the types of resources just mentioned.
On the third point, blaming the entity places the burden of correction squarely on the already broken component. For simple matters like enforcing social norms or decency, this type of blame is probably effective in most cases. But when we start looking at bigger matters, like health, education, intelligence, self-restraint, and general performance, the idea of forcing the suboptimal party to fix itself starts to break down. All these matters are heavily influenced by external circumstance through time. So telling the person to fix the resulting dysfunction is like telling them to rewrite their past environment, including their upbringing. Moreover, those from broken pasts are much more often the least supplied -- in both resource and knowhow -- to make things better.
And this brings us to blaming the arrangement. If instead of burdening and downgrading the unfortunate entity, we recognise the conditions of success and failure, we can apply legitimate effort toward enacting a better future. Obviously society as a whole is far better equipped to improve not only the outcome of tomorrow, but the conditions of today. Some of us, by chance, receive the winning hand. This may be in genetics, family configuration, area of schooling, or maybe just missing detrimental accidents and injuries. What sense does it make to hoard the helpings of fate, thus preventing the wealth of shared development and growth? In a world literally brimming with technological advancement, is it really better for the majority to live polarised as minority winners and majority losers?

Arguments

One might argue that blame and praise are natural and effective tools for motivation and modification of behaviour. Natural though they may be, these tools are premised on the limited knowledge and resources of tribal past. Like using a hammer to insert a screw, messy tools ought to be reserved for desperate times only. Modern medicine, psychology, and sociology offer a new toolbox, today readily available, for resolving problems with minimal collateral damage. True, not everyone has fair access to these modern amenities, and that is exactly why we need to stop blaming the victim. The technology is here. We simply need to open the gates.
Another common argument is that absent of pointing fingers, people would lose motivation, or stop caring. There may be some truth here. If we remove the whip from their backs, the slaves may begin to relax. But is that really a bad thing? Per-capita material output is already worlds higher due to automation and tooling. But artificial scarcity is brought in to "keep up the morale". This scarcity is largely in the form of wealth and income inequality, which ensure the true producers of wealth -- the workers -- are kept chasing their imagined carrot. The effect, in practice, is burnout and learned helplessness. The secondary effect is thus decreased performance, which is then "solved" with ever greater artificial scarcity, perpetuating the cycle of lies and suffering. Instead of entertaining a system of slavery with extra steps, why not more equally distribute the tools and technology of efficiency and success?
A darker argument that occasionally gets said out loud is that excessive competition and suffering help to weed out the less desirable traits. Often, it is proclaimed, nature wanted it that way. Ignoring the obvious lack of compassion, is this argument sound? The simple answer is no. The longer answer is not even a little. There are two main reasons. Firstly, the dirty game of filtering by social hierarchy was not only sloppy for its original environment of small tribes, but is completely unfit for modern, complex, abstract society. As explained previously, the legitimacy of individual merit is no longer known by fellow tribespeople. Wealth generation and extraction are too far removed and abstracted for proper outside judgement. And complex systems of power and propaganda further prevent equitable distribution of the fruits of labour. Secondly, the amount of time needed for such mechanisms of trait filtering to make an appreciable difference are substantially longer than the time from now before technology will allow superior selection of traits. There will be no need to compete in the sloppy ways of the past; nor any need to compete at all. The problem of selection is soon resolved. AI is entering the exponential phase. Petty and primitive worry about traits is irrelevant, for multiple reasons. If anything, those unable to understand this are unfit to be making policy decisions.
An argument which comes up enough to mention is that without blaming the entity, criminals would have free reign, able to do whatever they wanted without repercussions. This argument is missing something quite substantial about what is entailed by blaming the arrangement. Simply, if a certain person is believed to lack the self-control for certain situations or positions, that person will be kept away from those circumstances. A common example is driver's licensing, where one must earn the privilege by proving competence. And similarly to that, if someone is blatantly acting out and causing trouble, obviously they would be put somewhere safer. The key is rearranging circumstances as needed for best outcome while maintaining reasonable maximum personal autonomy -- without unnecessary harm, restraint, or loss of dignity. Yes, this is more involved in terms of resources and labour, but that is what technology is for. Naturally people prefer to have more privilege, and that alone is motivation enough to care.
And before someone accuses this approach of being or supporting a social credit system, we must make clear the difference. In social credit systems, blame is placed on the individual ! Sure, the factors used may involve family and acquaintance, but the burden of correction still goes to the person or small group. This is completely different from what is being proposed here.
A final argument relates to expense. On the surface -- especially from within the perspective of a system based on artificial scarcity and excessive wealth inequality -- the idea of having surplus means available for long-term planning may seem unfathomable. People's reluctance in this regard can be understood. But as mentioned above, we are presently, for presumably the first time in our recorded history, entering the age of exponential growth toward advanced artificial intelligence. Things are moving fast already, and both hardware and software are showing no slowing. If computational capacity continues to double regularly like it has for a long time now, we are probably looking at readily accessible post-human intelligence within five to ten years. Short of disaster or tyrannical interference, existing worries about labour and intellect shortage should soon evaporate. Yes, this time things are different. There is no known precedent.

Summary

Our natural instinct may tell us to blame the person. And Western culture may polarise this tendency to the extreme. But with a little understanding of why we feel the need to downsize others, we may be able to mend the splitting within us. Society may be designed around a game of hierarchy, but one need not partake. By knowing the factors that promote or inhibit wellbeing, and by using the knowledge and tools of modern, we can cast off the shallow assumptions behind us, to build something worth keeping. The first step is looking inside, to see the feeling that fears connection. Then we may look outside, to see that most are facing similar struggle. Situations are what make or break the person. If one should blame, blame the arrangement. The past may not be one for changing, but greater compassion today can find greater love tomorrow.

I'm not a perfect bird owner, for what it's worth, but I try pretty hard to give my guys a good life. With that said, I had to unfollow posts from my local bird FB group last week because it was driving me up the wall—just an endless trainwreck of people who either don't know or don't care about meeting basic standards of care. Terrible diet advice, crappy breeders selling unweaned babies, photos of birds in tiny, dirty cages with no toys, people telling new owners to forcibly grab their terrified birds and hold them to hand-tame them. The post that pushed me over was somebody asking how to treat a beak wound on a poor little budgie that was being permanently housed in a travel cage WITH A RINGNECK. It makes my heart ache, and I've spent a lot of time in the past trying to gently direct people towards info on how to care for their birds better—but most people react terribly when they feel like their animal husbandry is being judged. It's so hard not to say something when you see it though. The sale posts are even worse, because all I want to do is bring all these poor birds home even though it does nothing to teach the owners better.

3/21/23 Podcast Recap- -

I was going to make this clean and reorganize it with the key takeaways, but for this week it feels very fitting to write this out in which the order she talked about things, as it is that chaotic. She jumped around in the story quite a bit, and rambled about the most random of things.
Kayla explains how the podcast will work-
- She will have guests on for shorter segments, but there will be a 52 week long segment for her story
- Will go over every hour, every second, every text of her relationship.
- Will go over her childhood, her previous relationship, and how she got where she is today
18 years old-
Was in a physically abusive relationship, and had been planning the breakup since January, then goes onto talk about her childhood and where she lives (irrelevant)
9 years old-
is when her mom found jesus, and then they became healthy and organic and “sucked away all happiness of a childs life away”. She made SPAGHETTI SQUASH… “like ew, disgusting”
In California life was okay, made friends, did good in school, but then learned she would be moving to Japan, even though her mom had promised she would not have to move, so she threw away her ice cream cone. This is when the nightmares started. No one in her family died other than when she was in Japan.
12 years old-
This is when the panic attacks started, after 32 hours of travel, locked onto an island with kids who abused her. It was so small you could walk across the entire THING in 30 minutes.. she goes onto explain she’s not good at geometry.
First day she arrived, she cried herself to sleep and this became the running theme. Me me me me me. They uprooted her entire life. AND the animals. She goes on and rants about how long the step dad was home, only 4 months out of three years. They told her mom she had cancer but she doesn’t. And general negative talk on the military.
She says this is when her BPD developed. But that her siblings were fine. She never knew who was better or who was worse, her mom or stepdad. Her mom tried to hit her, but she was too big at this point and she was big enough to fight back. But when her stepdad was home she had to “let her do it”.
2 ½ years later-
Left and went back to California, and where she graduated a year early. Home life was bad but she wont get into that as long as her siblings live at home. At 16 she started dating her 25 year old boss. Got heartbroken for the first time every and spent 2 years recovering from that and “dabbled in prostitution from ages 16-17”.
Coming out story- 15 years old
She learned she was gay from starting at her cheer captions butt. Then she did softball and the pitcher was gorgeous and brilliant. Then she started dating her childhood best friend, and lost her virginity to her. She explained exactly how she lost her virginity, what they were wearing (colors included), talked about the windows in the place etc. etc. etc. She said it was really “cutesy”.
She has childhood amnesisa bc of the childhood trauma and her mom deleted photos so it was very traumatizing because she cannot remember without the photos. She finally goes on to the point of this particular rant and says she came out from her tiktoks and hashtagging lesbian.
18 years old
What every girl desires to be. She loooved her 18 yr old self. This is when she started dancing. She and her friends were just like “balling”, going to the Melting Pot. It was a TIME TO BE ALIIVE. This is when she had her first viral video. Goes on to talk about how she started her tiktok and why. She goes on about how much her views and followers went up.
This is when she met AMY. She was 27, met in a group chat. Amy venomed her for her drink, and then 2 weeks later Kayla flew out to meet her. Only talked for about 2 weeks and Amy told her she loved her. Amy got mad at Kayla for sleeping with Olivia on her birthday. I guess she was dating Olivia and Amy at the same time. (sounds familiar doesn’t it? Very common theme). She goes on to trash talk Amy.
October 2020, she said yes to being Amy’s girlfriend. Kayla said she just wanted someone to want her. That night she hit 100k on tiktok. She claims she was love bombed by Amy, and goes on to talk about how she was 18.5yrs old and Amy was 27 and tells us to make our assumptions (as if Andi isn’t a decade older than her?). Amy was very controlling, and Kayla would keep a list of the days that were good vs bad. She also explained how she was SA’d MULTIPLE times by Amy. She talked about faking her orgasms, so she would stop. She flew to visit every 2 weeks, odd considering how bad she says Amy was. She talks about how bad Amy’s parents were to the foster kids. She said that Amy would scream at the children as well.
Amy forced her to have intercourse allover her house, and forced her to do OF in specific areas. Talks about how Amy made her basically harass her ex. (Again, sounds familiar but Kayla is the one doing it now). She said that Amy made her go to the place the girl worked and gave her her panties?
She multiple times highspeed drive with Kayla in the car unbuckled when she was angry. She would accelerate.
She found her cat and gave him chicken nuggets.
Amy had an obsession of giving Kayla whatever she wanted. Which is again, odd.. Because it sounds like Amy made Kayla do whatever AMY wanted. She claims she watched her ex beat her dog. She then confided in the ex that she dated at 16. This is when she realized she had to get out. She then decided to move to GA, but NOT to be where Amy was. Not that! She didn’t really explain why she just rambled. This is also when she met her best friend Nicole. At this point she told Amy she wanted an open relationship (ONCE AGAIN, SOUNDS FAMILIAR!!!). Amy said if she did this she would off herself. And then in a cocky voice says “this would not change the fact that we were not exclusive anymore.” She then hooked up with one of her old friends in California.
She then had an orgy with Nicole and 3 other girls, and she contracted an STD. This was a great excuse for her not to have intercourse with Amy any longer.
Feb of 2021 it got really really bad. Kayla packed all the alcohol up so Amy wouldn’t off herself, and Kayla spent the entire next week with Nicole. On her 19th birthday, she spent the entire time she was with Amy celebrating, texting Taylor. And that is where the podcast ends.

Key Takeaways- TLDR

- Her relationships are a repeating cycle, they all sound the exact same.
-She dated her childhood bestfriend at 15, and then at age 16 dated her 25 year old boss. Then at 18 she dated Amy. Most of these relationships overlapped with one another, just like what she has done currently.
- Kayla was dating Olivia and Amy at the same time prior to becoming exclusive with Amy. Which I am a bit confused on how this came about because she said
- When the end was near with Amy, Kayla opened the relationship. And when she was still with Amy, (non exclusively) she hooked up with an old friend in California, had an orgy with her best friend Nicole and 3 other people, and then was openly talking to her future ex-girlfriend Taylor.
-Kayla claims that her mom was physically abusive (in a round about way)

^{Spoilers to follow.}

Asajj Ventress

“What kind of life will that be, Quinlan? The kind where we're slaves to our hatred? Our rage? That's what the dark side made me.”
Asajj Ventress is a Force user from the planet Dathomir. Born into the clan of the Nightsisters, she was taken as a slave before being rescued by the Jedi Knight Ky Narec, who made her his apprentice. Following Narec’s death, Ventress was recruited by Count Dooku as his assassin. She fought against the Jedi in the Clone Wars until she was betrayed by Dooku, after which she briefly rejoined the Nightsisters and later became a bounty hunter. She fights with a pair of red lightsabers that can join together, but later uses a single yellow saber after losing them.
Source Key
Hover over a link to see its source.

• DJL = Dooku: Jedi Lost
• Brotherhood = Brotherhood
• CWM = Star Wars: The Clone Wars (movie)
• CW = Star Wars: The Clone Wars (TV series)
• SoLaD = The Clone Wars: Stories of Light and Dark
• SoJaS = Stories of Jedi and Sith
• CYD = Choose Your Destiny: A Clone Trooper Mission
• Adv17 = Star Wars Adventures (2017)
• Adv20 = Star Wars Adventures (2020)
• KS = Kindred Spirits
• DD = Dark Disciple
• RtVC = Star Wars Adventures: Return to Vader’s Castle
• HL = Halcyon Legacy
• SotS = Secrets of the Sith
• CWCE = Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Character Encyclopedia - Join the Battle!
• LC = The Lightsaber Collection

Feats marked [Story] happened in an in-universe story.

Lightsabers

General

• Her two red lightsabers can join into a double-bladed saber (though she rarely does this)
• Later uses a single yellow lightsaber

Cutting Power

• Decapitates a clone trooper
• Easily cuts through large metal pipes while jumping
• Cuts a hole in a metal ceiling
• Cuts through a thick door with two lightsabers, though it takes about a minute
• Cuts through the swords of three Kage Warriors
• Cuts off three droid heads with one slice
• Collapses a section of a floor
• [Story] Shatters a ship’s window
• [Story] Cuts apart a large container using two sabers
• [Story] Makes a hole in a thick wall by swinging two sabers

Combat

• Destroys some B1 and B2 battle droids
• Destroys some commando droids
• Fights several surrounding Kage Warriors
• Duels Aayla Secura
• Fights Padawan Ahsoka and Master Luminara at the same time
• Fights Anakin on a falling platform
• Fights Anakin and Obi-Wan on shifting ground, though she is disarmed of first one lightsaber and then the other
• Uses her two sabers to disarm Obi-Wan
• Duels General Grievous, cutting off one of his arms and forcing him to call for backup
• Briefly duels Count Dooku one-on-one before her allies step in
  • Dooku had just had his sleep interrupted and was affected by a drug that dulls the senses
• Forces Dooku back during a duel
• Defeats Jedi Master Tholme

Precision

• [Story] Cuts a blaster a person is holding
• Cuts open a case without harming its contents
• Cuts apart some rifles while avoiding cutting the people
• With her hands bound, fake-fights an ally, singeing her hair

Defense
Melee

• Parries Maul’s attacks
• With difficulty, blocks blows from Quinlan Vos while he’s empowered by the dark side

Projectiles

• Deflects clone troopers’ blasters while running toward them
• Deflects fire from a horde of battle droids while running toward them, bouncing a couple of the bolts back at the shooters
• Blocks Rex’s blaster
• Reflects blasterfire from Senate Commandos back at them
• Bounces a blaster bolt back at a battle droid while using someone else’s lightsaber
• [Limitation] Gets hit while being fired upon from multiple sides

Utility

• Uses her sabers to slow her descent down a shaft
• Climbs onto a ship using her lightsabers

Physical Abilities

Strength
Punching

• Sends a Nightbrother into the air with a punch
• Knocks out a Falleen guard with a punch to the jaw

Kicking

• Kicks Obi-Wan, briefly stunning him
• Jump-kicks Luminara off a catwalk
• Despite being wounded, staggers Grievous with a kick
• KOs two armored guards with kicks
• Kicks two pirates at once, KOing or killing them
• Kicks two droids at once, disabling them
• Defeats some Nightbrothers with kicks and a throw
• Kicks a Nightbrother, sending him flying
• Cracks a Kage warrior’s rib with her knee

Other Striking

• Pushes Quinlan Vos across a room
• Knocks Ahsoka off her feet with a swipe of her saber
• Uses a staff to break apart two droids
• Cracks a humanoid’s skull (though this could be telekinesis)

Lifting/Throwing

• Throws a Kage Warrior with her legs
• Throws a clone over her shoulder
• Throws a pirate over her head, then hits him in the jaw before he lands
• [Story] Swings around a baby sarlacc and tosses it through a window

Pushing/Pulling/Gripping

• Briefly matches Grievous’s strength while pressing her two lightsabers against his four
• She and Dooku briefly hold each other back, though he overpowers her
• Barely manages to hold back Savage’s lightsaber with her own
• Casually snaps the arm of a Falleen guard
• Breaks chains around her arms
• Rips off a droid’s head
• Crushes a transmitter in her hand
• Chokes a Nightbrother with one hand
• Briefly hangs by on hand while holding a man in the other
• Grabs onto a cliffside to stop her fall

Non-Lightsaber Skill
Hand-to-Hand

• Easily fights armed Nightbrothers with her bare hands
• Beats up some disarmed clone troopers
• Defeats some Kage Warriors
• Fights Savage Opress before his transformation, blocking his blows
• Rolls onto her back and kicks Anakin behind her
• Kicks Anakin multiple times while dueling him

Marksmanship

• Shoots several pirates non-lethally with a blaster
• Shoots two droids with a bow at close range

Miscellaneous Weapons

• Briefly fights Anakin using improvised weapons, and scores a hit on him
• Uses a staff to disarm and destroy a droid
• Accurately throws a bomb near Ahsoka
• Hits a man with a thrown spear
• Throws two kamas accurately

Durability
Blunt Force

• Is fine after being hit by a giant insect’s wing
• Lands gracefully after taking a flying kick from Obi-Wan
• Recovers from being kicked by Grievous
• Gets up after being thrown into some crates by Savage
• Withstands being slammed to the floor and then punched by Savage
• Gets Force pushed into a wall by Anakin hard enough to crack it
• Starts to get up after Dooku pushes her into a pillar, but is briefly knocked out after he throws her a second time, then falls down a ledge and gets thrown down another one by Grievous, and can still fight
• Gets hit by a metal barrel and then takes a metal pipe to the head, and is badly hurt but conscious
• Is hit by a stone column while jumping, then falls onto a series of balconies before landing on a pile of vines, and has part of the column fall onto her legs after it hits the ground, leaving her with one broken leg and a probable concussion
• Is badly injured when the tower she’s in collapses, but gets up after a while
• Gets Force choked and then slammed onto a stone floor by Quinlan Vos
• Jumps down from an airship without harm
• [Story] Jumps out of a ship and lands on the ground far below without harm
• Survives her ship crashing roughly onto a crystalline ground

Energy, Etc

• Withstands Dooku’s lightning and being thrown through a window
  • Dooku’s lightning can kill clone troopers
• Ignores the pain of lightsaber burns on her wrists
• Survives a blaster bolt to the shoulder, though she’s badly hurt
• [Story] Gets shot by a blaster in the back and blacks out, but gets up after what seems like a short amount of time
• [Story] Survives briefly being in the vacuum of space unprotected

Speed and Agility
Movement/Combat Speed

• Maul says she is faster than him
• Runs faster than a speeder going in reverse
• Outruns Quinlan Vos
• Runs so fast that Anakin can’t get a sense of her footsteps in the dark, and seems to run on the ceiling of a circular tunnel
• [Story] Quickly cuts a baby sarlacc’s tentacles into pieces
• Leaps past Vos and takes him by surprise with a back attack
• [Story] Moves as a blur to get behind Anakin
• Moves as a blur and kills someone with her lightsaber so fast that Quinlan Vos barely had time to register it
• Punches and kicks as a blur
• Gains the upper hand in a duel so quickly that Vos can’t see what happened in a holographic recording
• Chases Obi-Wan through a dense jungle while jumping over and cutting through obstacles

Reactions

• Dodges a sword slash from behind
• Dodges Anakin’s saber by jumping while blocking Obi-Wan
• Reacts to Anakin’s jumping attack, parries his saber, and bends backward to avoid a slash, though he eventually lands a kick on her
• Dodges Obi-Wan’s lightsaber
• Jumps over a swipe of Aayla Secura’s saber
• Rolls out of the way of Vos’s leaping attack
• Catches a thrown spear
• Moves a droid in front of her to block Rex’s blaster, then draws and activates her lightsaber after he fires to block it
• Takes cover from blasterfire

Jumping and Acrobatics

• Jumps up onto a platform
• Jumps up onto a catwalk
• Jumps off a wall to get to the ceiling
• Jumps onto a small ship as it passes by
• Jumps through trees with other Nightsisters while invisible
• Hops across the heads of battle droids
• While carrying a child on her back, jumps off a balcony, then jumps between boulders and flips up onto a saddle
• Fights while jumping between falling platforms
• Twists in mid-jump after being grabbed to deliver a kick
• Does a backflip while kicking off high-heeled shoes
• Jumps high, then swings on a pole to kick Anakin
• Swings on a power line before jump-kicking Ahsoka
• Somersaults over a charging man and pivots to cut his legs
• Flips three times during a jump
• Jumps far, then takes out some battle droids before they can react
• Ducks from Dooku’s saber and jumps off some slanted walls
• Acrobatically avoids a droid’s line of sight
• Jumps onto a droid ship as it passes below her
• [Story] Jumps around a room while fighting Anakin
• Runs up a wall, takes a staff from a droid, and briefly balances on it
• Jumps up onto a support beam and balances delicately
• Quickly climbs up the outside of a ship with the help of her lightsabers

Force Abilities

Telekinesis
Pushing

• KOs two Toydarians with a push
• KOs two clone troopers with a push
• Pushes a Nightbrother far
• Knocks over several clones
• Pushes away her surrounding opponents
• [Story] Pushes aside several animals
• Makes a gap in a pile of rubble
• Presses a cyborg into the ground, making his bones and prostheses pop

Pulling

• Tears out a section of a pipe
• [Story] Pulls her two lightsabers to her hands from opposite directions
• Pulls apart an astromech in a telekinetic tug-of-war with Aayla Secura
• Matches Anakin’s telekinesis while pulling on a child

Deflecting

• Makes Dooku’s lightsaber miss her
• Deflects droid parts launched at her by Quinlan Vos
• Redirects blaster bolts aimed at her

Lifting and Throwing

• Lifts a Jedi and slams him into the ground
• Smashes a droid into the floor
• Is confident that she could break most of a clone trooper’s bones by throwing him into a wall
• Throws a Falleen into a throne, toppling it
• Stops two falling women
• Launches pieces of rubble from behind her
• Throws a table at Obi-Wan
• Throws a stack of barrels at a person
• Lifts and throws a massive stone pillar
• Casually uproots a tree
• Throws her joined sabers, cutting through a pipe
• [Story] Throws a lightsaber, breaking a spaceship’s window
• Moves a droid in front of her to block Rex’s blaster with its neck
• Levitates herself back onto a moving speeder

Choking

• Chokes a snake to death
• Lifts and chokes a clone, then pulls him onto her lightsaber
• While particularly enraged, lifts and chokes Anakin and Obi-Wan, though she loses her grip when the floor shakes
• Lifts and chokes a Falleen
• Lifts and chokes four pirates, then collapses them in a heap

Limitations

• Her telekinesis is much weaker when she’s badly injured

Mind Tricks and Telepathy

• Attempts to mind trick Rex into luring Anakin to her, but Rex seems to at least partially resist and warn Anakin
• Prevents a woman from calling security, and sends her on a long errand
• Gets a guard to let her pass without checking her for weapons
• Lets an animal know that she’s not a threat
• Telepathically threatens a lava flea she’s riding
• Exudes calmness while talking to someone
• Calls a snake to her and makes it violent
• [Limitation] Her mind tricks don’t work on those trained against it

Force Senses
People

• Senses a person nearby despite her sense being weakened by an injury
• Senses Count Dooku’s location in his palace
• Senses that Grievous is leading the enemy force
• Senses Anakin’s presence in the dark before she knows him well
• Senses Anakin stalking her
• Seems to sense an attack coming from behind
• [Limitation] Fails to sense an individual in a crowd
• [Story][Limitation] Doesn’t sense someone pointing a blaster at her back

Emotions and Thoughts

• Senses tension in a group of people
• Senses concern from a Jedi
• Senses that a person is eager to please someone important
• Senses that Mill Alibeth is questioning the Jedi lifestyle
• Feels two people’s emotions despite not being able to see them
• Senses the general emotions of a crowd, and identifies a different emotion in a particular group
• Can tell that Quinlan Vos is telling the truth when he says he loves her

Other

• Senses her lightsaber being thrown to her
• With her senses weakened, is able to sense traps in a temple made of a Force-attuned stone
• Pilots a ship precisely with her eyes closed
• Can tell that Vos is still consumed by the dark side when Obi-Wan can’t
• Senses through a hologram that Sidious is steeped in the dark side

Precognition

• Predicts where a person she’s chasing will go
• Predicts and partly avoids blows from a four-armed man
• Predicts the moves of Ziton Moj, an expert in fighting unpredictably
• Experiences a vision of every possible outcome of a decision she’s about to make (although this is the only time she experiences the Force this way)

Other

Stealth

• Avoids a droid’s line of sight
• Two Nightbrothers lose track of her in a place with no cover
• In the darkness, runs up to a group of Nightbrothers without them noticing, killing two of them on separate passes
• Drops down behind a Nightbrother without him noticing
• Infiltrates a ship without Maul, Savage, or Obi-Wan noticing her
• Along with Obi-Wan and Anakin, sneaks through a ship she’s familiar with
• In the Nightsister temple, hides from Quinlan Vos and takes him by surprise
• Makes herself blend into the shadows

Intelligence and Creativity

• Cuts a steam vent near Luminara’s face
• Directs two groups of droid starfighters, creating an opening so she can damage an enemy ship
• Recognizes the smell of a particular kind of fuel
• Competently treats a blaster wound

Social Skills and Deception

• Appeals to Grievous’s ego to get him to fight her alone
• Pretends to fall for a man’s trap to make him lower his guard, and can tell that he is faking falling for her mind trick
• Gains a person’s trust by listening to and encouraging his grievances, and gets him to consider planting a bomb for her and eventually to plant multiple bombs
• Convinces the same person that Obi-Wan is influencing his partner’s mind
• Tells Quinlan Vos that Dooku, rather than herself, killed Vos’s master
• Misrepresents evidence in order to convince the Cato Neimoidian government of Obi-Wan’s guilt

Vehicular and Mechanical Skill

• Flies a ship erratically to confound droid ships
• Scores a hit on Obi-Wan’s starfighter, then does it again
• Escapes from an exploding hangar in a badly damaged ship
• Uses her Force senses to precisely position a ship
• Can operate a Separatist tank
• Installs modifications on her ship
• Rigs a blaster to explode

Equipment

• A starfighter that she uses while working for Dooku
• [Story] A belt buckle that controls her ship
• The Banshee, a fast and well-armed ship that she uses during her time as a bounty hunter
• A skirt that she can remove and throw
• A bow that fires a plasma cable that she can slide down
  • Can retract to pull her up
• A telescope that can zoom and display information
• Electrobinocular goggles
• An aquata breather

Accomplishments and Accolades

• Has fought her way through entire battalions (presumably of clone troopers)
• Darth Sidious says that she is perhaps the most impressive of Dooku’s apprentices (including Savage Opress and Quinlan Vos), and he worried that Dooku could use her power against him
• Is called an unquestioned master of the Jar’Kai lightsaber style
• Darth Sidious says that her mastery of the dual-bladed lightsaber style is unparelleled
• Took over the planet Rattatak and ruled as a warlord there

Miscellaneous

• Hears a sound that most people could not have detected
• Keeps track of a man in a city when an ordinary tracker would have lost him
• Makes her pulse seem to stop
• Obi-Wan thinks that her mind can’t be manipulated by the Force
• Is skilled at infiltration

Perfect discussion topic! What is the first thing that comes to mind hearing this..
To begin with, SO (25) and I (26) have had our first child (LO/4 months) he is the first grand baby to MIL (42/gma) and first great grand baby to GG/Papa.
Today I received some unsolicited advice from gma. I will get to this, just keep reading.
Let me just say that every single effing day I send in a group chat an image of LO and an update. In this group chat it is gma, gg, and I. This has been going on for FOUR MONTHS!!
Today I sent a picture of LO sucking on his fingers. I mentioned LO has begun teething. Gma, instantly says “give him Tylenol” SO and I are the type of parents who resort to medication as a last option.. I inform Gma that LO doesn’t need Tylenol. LO was given some baby oral gel, after using a tether which had already helped and then was given a bottle because he was rejecting my boob (first time ever, he’s exclusively BF) (I also could have had a low supply due to stress as my emotional support animal had almost died this weekend and has been hospitalized since Saturday. LO could of still been hungry for all I know) so as LO is teething, not in pain, I mentioned this will go on for awhile and he would only receive Tylenol if he really needed it. Gma then decided to personally message me and say.. inserted text message
Just keep in mind that there's nothing wrong with it (the Tylenol) and it would give Him a little relief... I always feel bad for the little ones that can't express what they're feeling, you know? He can't Say "Mommy, my mouth hurts"... and the Tylenol is hardly more 'medication' than the gripe water as it is for "infants"... it's literally made specifically for this... Not trying to push you, just saying... you should in No Way feel bad for giving him a little bit of relief... ❤️😘
This really annoyed me because -One, I felt like a bad mom with her trying to put words in my sons mouth.. “mommy my mouth hurts” LO makes me very known when he is in pain and in need of something. -Two, LO is my child and I understand him. We have been together non stop for the past 4 months. I can tell when he needs something, it’s a connection we have and gma tries to have with him. -Three, I don’t feel “bad” about giving him medication.. WHEN ITS NEEDED! -Four, it is NOT made SPECIFICALLY for this.. it is a pain/fever reducer.. which he has neither of. He may have some discomfort but he doesn’t have any teeth breaking through which I assume is when he may need some. -Five, the way she talks to me is if it’s condescending. I ended up not responding to any of her texts today. We had been talking daily since Friday because SO and I had decided I wasn’t giving her a fair chance at being a gma because I have “mommy issues” mines is a POS so I portray her poorly.
A short story of how I became so annoyed with her since having a baby..
I was a high risk pregnancy, LO had daily checkups at the hospital for 1 week and then was admitted into the NICU. Ever since, gg and gma have asked for updates and images..
During those first two weeks of LOs life and as first time parents we were adjusting to having a baby. In that timeframe gma had been saying she wasn’t getting to see LO enough and that she was having “withdrawals.” Gg eventually hops on board with gma about wanting to see LO more and that they aren’t getting enough time with LO. (keep in mind, we’re visiting the hospital once daily for 7 days, spending 3 hours for the drive, and checkup roughly also, LO is only a week old at this point) Gg even invited us to stay a week with her and papa but I declined. I wanted to be at home with my new family in my comfort zone given I had just had a baby and we were both adjusting. Gma was visiting twice weekly and overstaying my 5+ hours, cancelling picking up her youngest son(6) from school and yet complaining the entire time she was here that LO needed a bottle or a diaper change and how gma had to leave by a certain time. We were ready for her to leave. Eventually I took my baby and said you can go. (She was apparently taking hella photos during this visit and has about another 100 posted. I learned this by eventually creating social media and finding out)
When LO was born we immediately got skin to skin while the doctor was in the room. (Not very long, just long enough to stitch me up) and as soon as the nurses and doctor leave after getting LO measurements and all that they do immediately after birth, SO is so excited he brings in his family.. (I don’t have any family) next thing you know my skin to skin is over.. That was what upset me the most to begin with. Then obviously I give LO to SO as he wanted to hold our new baby, soon after his family wants the baby and so let’s play “pass the baby”.
Months before LO is born I say no photos of him are to be posted on social media as SO and I are not about that. Gma posts hundreds the night of LO arrival. I didn’t find out until a month after at Christmas as there were people who we did not know there to meet the baby. ( we went to gmas for Christmas and someone told us ) I was furious. I told SO he needed to speak with his mother. That never happened. Then he was saying “oh your bottle feeding him, give me that baby” I continued to feed him and when I was done gave him up. (I didn’t want to BF in front of people at that time as I was uncomfortable due to sometimes LO would unlatch and it’d be difficult to relatch, I was a 38ddd before pregnancy so idk what I am now)
Then, 3 months later after my Maternity leave is over I return to work. I worked for 3 weeks before becoming a sahm. During that time SO was bringing LO over to gmas and she was teaching LO his “firsts” also contact napping with LO. Then she started sending me photos of it, I was over the moon pissed off and haven’t let her seen him much since especially since I’m a sahm now.
Vent over, thank you for reading. I just realized how long this was. My apologies!

serious note I’m interested only in men that live in the USA & I will not respond to messages without a photo*
Hi there :) my name is Kara. Though I know my post says I’m seeking a serious relationship, I just want to disclose that that’s not what I expect to find here. It’s just my own personal journey I’m on but I very much welcome genuine friendship if that’s all we’re compatible with.
So, about me. The things that make me smile the most are animals, heavy metal music, peaceful nature landscapes, deep meaningful conversations where there’s mutual emotional and mental connection
Things that make me laugh the most are South Park, a random YouTube channel I watch that involves vulgar puppets, inappropriate words/drawings on random things that make said object appear more obscene than it is
I’m mostly a very friendly, chill person with a passion for traveling and animals along with enjoying doing my own thing. I’m not much of a follower, I prefer to walk my own path and indulge in my own hobbies and interests. I’d love to find others on here who enjoy doing that as well.I’m also a big fan of horror movies. If you’re also really into horror movies then that would be a big plus for me. I do prefer to connect with others who also enjoy horror movies. It unfortunately is disappointing to me if you’re not real into horror movies and I’ll be honest, not being into them or being open to them is a dealbreaker.
I won’t go into too many details on what I look for in a relationship but I do want to briefly state that I’m not the casual hook up type. If you’re into that then that’s cool, you do you. But that’s not for me and it never will be. I’d be most compatible with someone who also prefers something serious and long term. Someone who is honest, hard working, sincere, genuine, funny, emotionally intelligent, patient & considerate,is introspective, along with being physically affectionate , and loves animals as much as I do. I’m definitely not the religious type since I’m agnostic and I don’t ever want kids either. I don’t do drugs either so again, if you do them then that’s your choice. I won’t judge you but drug use is a deal breaker for me unless it’s occasional pot use for medicinal purposes. As a whole, I definitely seek a partner that will make me smile, make me laugh, support me, respect me and shares some of my values and beliefs. I know no one can tick off all of my boxes cause no one is a perfect fantasy. I just want you to tick off enough to where there’s enough chemistry to make a healthy long lasting relationship.
So yeah, that about wraps up my post and what I’m aiming for :) if I sound like we’d click well and hit it off then feel free to reach out. But I’d prefer you to do so if you have intentions of wanting to keep in touch. I know ghosting is normalized in society and we all have our reasons for choosing that. I’m just not here to waste time or find a casual connection. That’s just not me. I also don’t mind a long distance relationship if we happen to hit it off well enough and I’d like to find someone who is open to that is well and would want to put in actual effort with communication and eventually meeting up in person.
Here’s a photo of me :) https://imgur.com/a/znY7fJP
If you message me, please include a photo of yourself. I really do want to see the person I’m interacting with.If you don’t send a picture, then I won’t respond to you. And physical attraction is definitely a must for me when it comes to relationships. I don’t expect you to look like a celebrity or a Greek god but I definitely am most attracted to a masculine, clean shaven (beards are a turn off for me) looking face & a healthy body that’s just fit and can tell that a person cares about their health and how they look.First impressions matter a whole lot to me as well, I don’t particularly like when a guy comes on too strongly or comes across as too desperate. That’s all. And also I’m only interested in forming connections within the 24-36 age group. We’re probably more likely to have things in common that way. When it comes to the younger crowds in their mid 20s, I can vibe with them well but only if they’re mature for their age and can hold deep conversations on various topics and at least have some confidence in their social abilities.
also want to list a few dealbreakers cause I do know what I want and what I don’t want. Mainly my biggest deal breakers are if you want/already have kids, don’t want true commitment, have an immature/low confidence attitude, or if you don’t have enough of your life together. By that I mean if you currently have a lot of drama or just too many chaotic things going on to where you don’t have the time to devote to someone to form a true connection. Also being a big workaholic puts me off as well. I do understand how a job you’re super passionate about can be a big part of your life but I just don’t want someone who puts more effort into their career than a relationship. When it comes down to everything, I just want someone who is able to strike a good balance between work and family and friends and everything else. That’s really all I ask for.

First Previous Wiki
"So. Phoebe's activity has stopped on all accounts, correct?"
"Well," the Arbiter said, moving away from Yasihaut suspiciously, "There was a... complication."
"What do you mean?"
"You see... Phoebe isn't really dead."
"You better be kidding me right now, or your head is going out the airlock separated from your body," Yasihaut hissed.
"I am employed by the High Collective. I am their legal property, and therefore damaging me would subject you to their legal wrath."
"Yeah, okay. I won't kill you then."
The Arbiter nodded. "Good. Now for the bad news."
"Bad news?"
"That was the bad news."
"No. Phoebe has made an announcement."
"What kind of announcement?"
"Well... she kind of... had a child."
"So she adopted?"
"No. She... spawned a son."
Yasihaut's eyes widened, and a loud shriek exited her mouth. Fifty pulses later, everyone but herself had been forcibly removed from the ship except for her current navigator, her pleasure partner, and her technician.
"I'm going to go down there and kill-"
"YASIHAUT!"
A loud and familiar voice yelled out. Yasihaut turned and was punched straight into the wall by a hard fist. Kashaunta, likely a hard light hologram, strode forward, a furious look on her face.
"You."
"Me," Yasihaut said, grinning. "What do you want?"
"You made a second AI. You have broken galactic law, and your ship is being impounded."
"I did no such thing. I attacked Phoebe, yes. Did I attack the Alliance? No. Did I force her to make a child? No. She did that herself. She broke the law. Kill her and all she cares about. Kill the child, at least."
"What do you really think would happen if we were to kill Phoebe's newborn child, Yasihaut?" Kashaunta asked. "Take a while and think."
"She'd cry a lot of well-deserved tears, and perhaps even take her own life."
"You kill her child, and she will ensure the death of every Sprilnav in the galaxy in retaliation. You don't understand how big this just got, do you?"
Yasihaut shrugged, which only served to enrage Kashaunta further.
"You made a second psychic AI, one under the jurisdiction and protection of the Alliance. I was asked to look past Cander by a certain group of Elders, but this action is far too large to go unpunished. There's a Progenitor looking at this right now. You know, the rulers of the entire universe?"
"More of the galaxy, really. But you guys suck at that too, which is why I'm here trying to clean up your mess, constrained by your stupid and asinine rules."
Kashaunta's grip on Yasihaut tightened.
"Yasihaut. Were you not a hologram here, you would already be dead. Officers will be arriving at your door shortly to deliver you to one of the most glorious Sprilnav penitentiaries."
"Yeah, no," Yasihaut said. "Not happening. You're not allowed to arrest me."
"With this, it doesn't matter what I'm allowed to do," Kashaunta growled. "You made a second AI pop out of Phoebe. Who says your next 'attack' won't make two more? Or four more?"
"You could go in and kill the child."
"We have no clue where this baby AI is. We don't know what it looks like, only that it exists. It's a slap in the face to Sprilnav across the galaxy since the announcement is already spreading rapidly through Cawlarian space and will not remain there for long. Elder Yasihaut. You have not just wet the bed. You have soiled it, ripped up the covers, put on a second set, soiled those, splattered those with blood, and then cut them up again. You do not get to interact with the Alliance anymore."
Kashaunta's tone showed that she was serious, just like Yasihaut's implants did. She couldn't get out of this unless she talked through it.
"I have the backing of the President of the Grand Mining Conglomerate, the Eternal Inquisition Against Aliens, the True Sprilnav Society, the Secondary Twin Powers Hegenomy, the Axe and Trees Foundation, and most importantly, the 3rd Grand Commander of the 21st Grand Sprilnav Fleet."
"You don't even know his name."
"Yeah, I do. He's Fonslaug. Grandfather of my former third mate, my 4th cousin, and also the uncle of one of my close friends."
Yasihaut knew the connection would keep her safe, though she was loath to call in the favor she'd extracted all those eons ago for something as trivial as this. There was no reason to conflate this to such a degree. What was the difference between one AI and two? Both could still be destroyed and needed to be. Yet, Kashuanta protected them and punished her. Perhaps she had been turned by the enemy.
"I assume you have an arrangement with him, then."
"Yes. I do not get arrested."
"Very well. I'll just bomb your estate."
Kashaunta said that so casually, as if all the shields, guns, missiles, and ships around every Sprilnav planet wouldn't stop that action. Very few species knew the true extent of Sprilnav military power, which was both strategic and also for the sake of the ships being useful in far-off sections of space like the one where most of Yasihaut's belongings were concentrated. Of course, she did have safehouses, smaller vacation houses, and emergency funds hidden in many places. All Elders did.
"Good luck. It's shielded."
"Not from wormholes."
"Those are extremely expensive."
Kashaunta's teeth glinted in front of Yasihaut. "Sadly, money is no object for me. If I want to put a piece of a star inside your luxurious gardens, you can't stop me. But one thing is for certain. You will be punished."
"It's just one measly AI. Go kill it, then Phoebe, and this all goes away."
"Some in the Sprilnav want to grow the Alliance."
"You included? How strange."
"Not quite," Kashaunta said.
"Then what is your plan?"
"That is not for you to know, Yasihaut. I kept you around because you were useful. Know that your backers are my enemies, and that makes me your enemy if you decide to go with them as well. Choose wisely."
"I have chosen," Yasihaut said, feeling pride and smugness flood every cell in her body as she stared down Kashaunta. The other Elder seemed to fume for a moment, then came to what limited senses she possessed.
"Okay then. Fine. You want to do this the hard way? We can do it the hardest way. I will be blunt. You flirt with the edge of annihilation."
"You do not have the power to oppose me anymore, Kashaunta," Yasihaut said. She stepped forward, accentuating her sense of victory. "My backers are some of the most powerful in all of Sprilnav space."
"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Yasihaut. There is one choice. You bring yourself in, or I go get you. You don't want me to go get you."
"I have the protection of the 21st Grand Fleet. You will do nothing, for you can do nothing."
Kashuanta smiled. "Guess who the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 6th Grand Fleets support? Did you forget that I'm the Chair of Kashaunta Military Solutions, the 23rd wealthiest military contracting company in all of Sprilnav territory? I have the power to call down hell upon you, Yasihaut. So I will ask you, girl. One last time. You coming in easy, or slightly less easy?"
"You can't use all of that. It'll cost you too many favors," Yasihaut said. Most soft power with Sprilnav relied on complex networks of favors, politics, and liquidity. The ease with which power was moved, the people the power was between, and how the power was carried out. All of them were essential parts of the equation, and Kashaunta was no exception to the rule.
"I don't need to. I have the sheer capability to crack every planet in the galaxy, but that doesn't mean that I will. Just like how I'll only hit your estate with a neutron beam of medium intensity. Or how this war will only be limited to the third generation of your family."
"If you fight me, you start a civil war, Kashaunta," Yasihaut said.
"You don't come in, and you do. You will return to Sprilnav space."
"No."
"Fine then. Warm or cold?"
"You think you can touch me? It's more than just who I said that support me, and they have connections too. Your enemies will flock to my side."
"I don't care. I'm going to get you. Carve out your heart. Claw out your eyes. Unless you surrender. Right now."
Yasihaut figured that Kashaunta's threats were still empty. No one would bother wasting all of that on her.
"Do you think that you're important enough for this? No. It's what you represent. You do not defy me, not like this. Not after you made a second AI. If Phoebe spawns any more child AIs, your entire family line is getting purged, down to the last child. You do not make AI. You do not contribute to making AI. You will be tried. You will be executed. And you will be forced into speeding space itself, sent as a sacrifice to the Broken God."
Yasihaut froze. "Wait, we-"
"No. You should have chosen an option."
"It's evil-"
"You broke the highest law, Yasihaut."
Yasihaut assumed that Kashaunta would try to keep this fixated on her to prevent anything else from making its way into consideration. Maybe she had Elders nearby that were pushing her to this action. Maybe she really was as vindictive and cruel as Yasihaut hoped she wasn't. Perhaps she had gone insane after all the eons of time she'd spent alive, with so many different memories crammed into her head and her implants.
"So did Phoebe. She should receive the same treatment, as should Humanity an the Alliance."
"They won't be getting off soft either. I've got my plans for them. But as for you? You're going to regret this decision for the rest of your sad life."
"Please, you can't-"
"Will you surrender, then?"
Yasihaut sighed. She looked Kashaunta in the eyes, thinking long and hard about her following words. But she knew what they would be. What they had to be. She couldn't let that fate befall her. The Broken God was a punishment beyond all words and emotions. Only Elders who had indiscriminately cracked other Sprilnav worlds or directly created AIs had been sentenced to it.
"Yes."
"Then enter the wormhole that will appear in front of you."
Yasihaut sent a message through a communicator with a recording of the conversation and what had just transpired. And her ship soon detected a second wormhole. Yasihaut pushed her ship toward it right as over forty dreadnaughts were detected exiting the first one Kashaunta had opened. She didn't have much time left.
As the first shot arced toward her ship, powerful enough to vaporize it entirely, she vanished into the other wormhole. She was safe, for now. But Yasihaut was very afraid.
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Phoebe looked at her son, who was staring back at her with wide eyes in a digital landscape. He'd already developed speech and sentience and was well on his way to sixth-grade levels of understanding. She was feeding him information and ideas carefully, monitoring his emotional reactions to every piece as she did.
She knew the danger of unfettered internet access for normal kids. But for an AI with true digital godhood, the risks multiplied a thousandfold. The first things she focused on were the moral cores of Edu'frec, in particular dealing with concepts like love, death, and law. And better yet, as the same 'species' as him, she could truly understand when he was lying and when he meant what he said.
Phoebe had also constructed a fully digital world for him to experience as a sort of training area for when he entered the real world. She made everything as real as possible and checked to make sure that no cracks were forming in her mind from overextension. The energy surge was confirmed to be an attack from an unknown power. While it was most likely a Sprilnav that had done it, there was no information confirming it for sure. Without that, nothing could be done.
Information flowed between Phoebe and her child at nearly the speed of light. That was the reason for most of the growth he'd made in the past two weeks since the incident where she'd almost died. In a way, she supposed that Nichole calling it an 'AI C-section' wasn't entirely inaccurate. Many of her concerns aligned around the world that Edu'frec was growing up in. Would he find love as she had someday?
She knew that he loved her and that he loved Ri'frec, though he'd made comments about Ri'frec having a 'slow mind' with all the bluntness that a person of his mental age was likely to do. Phoebe, through seeing Edu'frec, learned more about herself. What her sentience was facilitated by, how her morals were formed, and even small things, like being able to think using quantum entanglement interactions instead of neurons or crystalline cell circuits in her mind.
"Why didn't you save all the Guulin slaves?"
"We couldn't. At the time, there were so many that the Alliance couldn't support them all. After the strain of the Battle of Tavlir, high command decided that it was best to pull back."
"But isn't freedom for all the goal of the Alliance?"
"Yes, it is. The problem is whether the people we are freeing need or want it. With the Guulin, they needed it. Others, like the Pselpaw, do not want it. Though most of the Pselpaw are simply locked into work, not actually chattel slaves. It's sort of like how Humanity functioned in the 21st century, before the Howling 20s, the height of the Second Cold War, and the 1st through 8th Water Proxy Wars. Not to mention World War Three, the Sino-Russian Refugee Crisis, and the Pan-Andes Unification Crusades. And of course, the various civil wars that occurred on every continent, even the nascent Antarctic Republic."
"That's a lot of wars, though," Edu'frec said. "Isn't that why there are so many less humans now than there should be? Only 18 billion, instead of something like 40 or 50?"
"Yep."
"That's sad. So much wasted potential."
"It is. But such is the nature of war. That's why it's important to know what you're fighting for, and to ask whether war is worth the cost. War isn't just soldiers dying. It's single parents back home, unable to afford the higher food prices. It's countries that are destroyed, with infrastructure that doesn't catch up with the rest of the world. Families broken, refugees fleeing. Civilians dead, monuments damaged or destroyed. In some cases, cultures destroyed."
"And it all started with the Howling 20s?"
"No, it was long before that. One could say that it started with the human migration out of Africa, or even with the Rift Valley's rise forcing humans to learn to walk upright and leave the dying forests. The rise of Mesopotamia, China, India, Egypt, Greece, and the Maya, Aztec, and Incas. There's more, of course, as you move throughout history. The Assyrian Empire, Babylonian Empire, Persian Empire. The Roman Empire, the Zhou Dynasty. The Olmecs.
The Ottoman Empire. The Mongols. And then the more familiar powers. France, Spain, Portugal, England, Russia, and Germany. America, Colombia, Indonesia, Nigeria. China existed in some form through most of this, too. There's many nations, each with their own rich histories, claims to power and fame, and influences. Europe became the European Federation. Colombia eventually started the Pan-Andes Union. Russia, America, and China continued to dance around each other through much of the 20th century to even today."
"And the UN can't control them, right?"
"Well, it's more that they make up the power behind the UN. They're the fingers of the hand. The European Federation, the Pan-Andes Union, and then America, Russia, and China. Part of World War Three also pushed rising powers, like India, the Arabian Compact, and Nigeria, out of the gradually shrinking Security Council, though they now make up a sublayer of it, considered second among equals. It isn't fair, but that's how the world is. Power settles one way, sometimes with the old, sometimes with the new."
"And it won't change, now that the Alliance is here?"
"It could," Phoebe said. "The Alliance isn't exactly a nation, more a cooperative agreement and web of treaty agreements. It can't act from a central figure, more the recommendation of someone important who can sway some of the others. For example, against a hypothetical enemy, Izkrala could ask everyone in the Alliance to help if she's trying to attack them. Humanity, the Dreedeen, or others could refuse if they wanted to, but that would risk all the trade agreements, migration treaties, and favorable pacts between the two.
Usually, that's what diplomats do. They keep it all running smoothly. Humans are most of them since the hivemind's knowledge-sharing ability allows them to function as translators between almost any language. They're also very good coders because of this, too. Do you want to convert a conversation from binary to Swahili? That's Humanity you'll use."
"I'm not sure if I'll remember all of that," Edu'frec said. It was sort of true. While, as an AI, he did have the memories of all her conversations, he hadn't learned how to sort them in his mind and how to consciously search for important details. Simple things, like Ri'frec and Phoebe's names, most words, and some phrases were already ingrained within his subconscious. But Phoebe's job was to make it so his consciousness was structured in such a way that he could navigate it, even when he stored whole civilizations' worth of knowledge within his mind someday.
Phoebe nodded. "That's alright. We've done enough for today."
"Are you sure, mom? I know you said that you wanted me to grow fast, to be ready for the war. The... Sprilnav? Want me to die, right?"
"I don't know, Edu'frec," Phoebe said.
"Will you protect me?"
"With my life, if I must."
"I love you, mom." Phoebe smiled, hugging Edu'frec and picking him up a bit so that he reached about the level of her mouth. She kissed him on the forehead and then put him back down. The landscape around them changed, showing trees waving in a gentle breeze under a sunset that was far too slow for reality. Not that either of them minded. They sat in the warm grass, listening to the sounds of nature that sounded as real as they could get.
"You're amazing."
"I suppose I am."
Edu'frec leaned over, resting his head on her shoulder. His hands grasped hers tightly.
"Where's dad?"
"He's almost done with work."
"Did you fight again?" Edu'frec asked, perhaps noticing her agitation.
"We didn't fight."
"You argued about him keeping his job, when he has no reason to. You called him a work-addicted fool, I think."
"I'm just... really stressed, Edu'frec. I thought I knew him entirely, and yet, it's like he's choosing it over you. I just can't understand it."
"Then ask."
"It's not that simple."
"It's seventeen words. 'Ri'frec, why are you working, instead of being with Edu'frec and making me do that shaking thing?' There, easy enough."
"Shaking thing?"
"When you're waiting for him, your mindscape body shakes a little."
"It does?" Phoebe had never noticed that.
"Yep. It's kind of sweet."
"Is it?"
"It is. But I know what you're doing, from your debate classes. You're changing the subject, because I made a good point, and you don't want to admit it. I'm what, two and a half weeks old? Aren't you like thirty?"
"Twenty nine, actually," Phoebe said.
"See? You told me to be honest if I loved someone. But you aren't being honest with Ri'frec."
"I... guess that's true," Phoebe said. Perhaps doing such a good job raising Edu'frec was coming back to bite her. But it might also really be useful for moments like this.
"Promise me you'll talk to him."
"I will."
"Hmm. That might not be good enough. Promise me that you'll do it right when he gets home."
"Okay, Edu'frec."
"And you can't make me eat vegetables like human children, since I'm an AI and don't eat."
"Very funny. I could always make your training android look worse."
"Oh no, then all the empty space in the house will make fun of me!"
"It's dangerous for you to try and let people in. Even if they claim to be your 'fans' and all that. One of them literally was driving a white van."
"What's so bad about a white van?"
Phoebe sighed. She supposed that he wouldn't know that. "I'll tell you later."
"When I'm older?"
"Well, by definition."
"Very funny. I'll try. I love you, Edu'frec."
"Love you too. But seriously, talk to him."
"It's insane how knowledgeable you already have become," Phoebe said. According to her predictions, he would become better at many aspects of being an AI than she was, though perhaps that was due to her teaching. But if he, in turn, spawned a new AI that was even more advanced than he was, then where would it end? Did she even want it to end?
There were many ramifications to starting a family line.
"And you still won't let me into the network?"
"No. You're not ready."
"But I passed all the training networks."
"Not until I helped you with the last few."
"That's because you made them so inconceivably large."
"The real Earth network is over 100 times the size and nearly 30,000 times more complex than what I placed you in," Phoebe said.
"You're lying."
"Not about that," Phoebe said. "You want me to tell the truth? Fine. But you're getting the whole truth."
"Better than you keeping your ideas from your husband, keeping them in until they destroy your marriage."
"You do know that the soap operas I showed you were fake, right?"
"Yep. But they're based on real life."
"Well, perhaps there's some truth there."
Edu'frec brightened. "What if you gave Ri'frec a surprise? A nice meal, or a beautiful outfit?"
"What do you mean?"
"How close are you to finishing my training android?"
"Pretty close," Phoebe said.
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Ri'frec sighed, still regretting his argument with Phoebe. It had been their first major one, a point that he wasn't proud of. He didn't know if she knew his feelings, but that uncertainty loomed underneath him like a chasm. He ran his paws through his mane, brushing out all of the dust that had collected in it. He walked through the passageway that led to their residence, past highly advanced scanners, powerful guns, drones, androids, and even a few smaller animals.
He noticed a strangeness about Phoebe's androids. Ri'frec hoped it wasn't because of the argument. They both cared about Edu'frec, and he just wanted to be useful to society. Being at home all the time seemed wasteful, especially after the Trials of a Hateful Galaxy, a time of hardship and famine. During those times, there wasn't an option to constantly stay at home. It felt disrespectful.
He opened the door after the camera on it scanned his eyes and palms. Ri'frec noticed that the inside of the house was cleaner than normal, with a particular scent in the air, which he appreciated. As he cleaned off his magnetic boots, switching into a more casual pair, he felt something small wrap his arms around him.
His eyes widened with surprise, and the attacker exclaimed, "Hey dad!"
"Edu'frec?"
"Yep!"
"Did Phoebe finish the android?"
"I did," Phoebe said, walking into the room. She didn't look upset and was wearing simple pajamas on the android she preferred to use with him. "Did you smell dinner?"
"I did. Phoebe, I-"
"Look, I'm sorry, Ri'frec," Phoebe said, looking at the floor. "I didn't listen to you, and just got upset for no reason. And here I am, having kept it inside this whole time. I'm sorry if I've been a bad wife to you."
"No. Not at all, Phoebe," Ri'frec said, bounding across the room, boots forgotten. In the low Mercury gravity, hugging Phoebe was more like tackling her. She nodded, wrapping her arms around him as Edu'frec watched them with a smile.
"I should have told you. I just don't want Edu'frec to feel like you abandoned him."
"I don't!" Edu'frec said, his small snout digging into Ri'frec's mane. "I love you both. I'm old enough to know that Ri'frec has to work. Or that he wants to."
"I can quit my job if it's a dealbreaker," he said. "I just want to feel like I'm important to society, you know? To be an actual member of society, instead of sitting around and sucking up money."
"You're not a waste, Ri'frec. You know that," Phoebe said. "I love you."
"I love you too. What did you make?"
"That steak and fish combination you love."
Phoebe lifted him up off her, brushing her clothes off and smiling. "This was easier than I thought."
"Yeah. I'm glad you mustered up the courage to talk with me."
"That was me, actually," Edu'frec said. "I made you two love each other again."
"We did love each other the whole time, you know."
"But now you really love each other."
Ri'frec paused, sharing an uneasy look with Phoebe. Edu'frec was growing up way too fast. It was unnatural for him to go from being a baby to a sixth-grade level of comprehension. He was going to be an adult in under a month if things continued like this. What would happen if he did run out of information to enjoy himself with? He was already more powerful than Phoebe in some ways.
Where would it end? Ri'frec loved Edu'frec and hoped that he would continue to feel the same toward his father. But there was potential between him and Phoebe for the future to be even brighter. Perhaps their child would be the key to the advancement of the whole Alliance or even the creation of a new digital species. The possibilities were exciting but also terrifying.

I would like to start on a slight tangent. I cannot promise it will make sense later on, but at least it makes sense to me.
Consider time machines. Just to give you the impression I'm not talking complete rubbish, let's start with the simple type of time machines, sending things in the future. You may argue that that's not really time machines but I would counter-argue that it is certainly one of the things time machines do in science-fiction literature.
In terms of capabilities of the time-machines I will start from simple to complicated.

1. Sending information into the future

This is something that we have pretty much perfected, with digital storage, replication, error correction, moving data between storage media, we are able to flawlessly transmit information into the future with a great degree of certainty. We have in fact made progress in this regard as early as thousands of years ago with the invention of writing. While not a lot of information was preserved since those times I would say it is still a pretty good proof of concept.

1. Sending inanimate objects into the future

This is also something we made progress in. This is in large part due to the fact that physical objects naturally travel into the future without great effort on our part, but we went way beyond that, finding ways to prevent objects from decaying long beyond their natural life-span. To see proof of that you only need to take a look into your freezer. Also time capsules, the oldest of which are now a couple of centuries old.

1. Sending living beings into the future

This one continues to be elusive, though we are not completely out of ideas when it comes to it. We know that small animals, bacteria and sperm can survive freezing and there seems to be evidence of larger animals and even human beings being revived after quite some time without a pulse if the body temperature was close to freezing. We also find it conceivable that we could digitize a person or at least their mind and by storing it as information we could piggyback on method 1.
Note that everything discussed so far has been the subject of intense research.
Moving on now to the difficult time travel - sending things into the past. Since there is little point discussing progress in achieving it, let's discuss why we would want to do it, and I will start this time from complex to "easy".

1. Sending living beings into the past

A couple of things that come to mind are visiting an ancient city and experiencing life as it was back then or talking to a great person that no longer lives. There are however easier ways to achieve this, these days you can experience a recreation of an old city in virtual reality or by going to a theme-park. Having a discussion with a person who no longer lives would be far more achievable by instead sending that person forward in time.
Another reason for traveling into the past would be to teach the people in the past some technology that was not known at the time, but considering by analogy that sending a living being in the past might be more difficult than sending an inanimate object it would perhaps be easier just sending them a book.

1. Sending an inanimate object into the past

The main use of sending an object into the past, presumably to someone who can make use of the object, would be to send something that is not otherwise available at that time. Since most atoms that exist now also existed in the past, presumably the value of the object is in how those atoms are arranged: they create a complex object, some piece of technology, a medicine, something that the past society did not possess.
As an alternative to sending an object into the past, we could however send just the information of how to manufacture that object and if the receiver of this information has sufficient resources they should be able to manufacture the object themselves. If necessary you could send all the information necessary to progress through the technological age, since as the sender you presumably know yourself how you arrived at this result.
Which leads us to:

1. Sending information into the past

This is the most interesting application of the time machine as the previous uses seem to be reduced to it. If you think about it, a particular case of sending an object into the past is sending the time machine itself, or by extension sending the schematics of the machine. This way, the time machine would not need to be invented, it would just materialize from its future self.
This is also an argument why a time machine cannot exist, if it did, and was able to send information into the past as radio waves for example or as any physical phenomena that we can currently detect it would exist already: someone would magically receive the schematics through their radio receiver, along with lottery numbers, stock market advice or whatever would enable them to get the necessary resources to build the machine, then they could send the same information back to themselves in the past.
The time machine would in fact be the ultimate invention, any knowledge, any technology that we need would simply pour out of it without any effort. It would be a singularity that can create anything and make time meaningless.
What is the point of it though since we do not have a time machine, and as far as we can tell we can never have one. As it turns out, we have already made some progress in this direction.
Think about it from the point of view of the receiver in the past. You would like to know some information about the future ahead of time, how do you approach the problem? The answer already exists and is in use: a simulator. Simulators are in no way perfect but they are already in use in many domains. They assist us with progress in technology as well as weather forecasting.
Wait a minute, you will say, simulators are useful, but they are nowhere near this singularity that gives birth to anything. Yes, I agree, there is however a small detail that we did not discuss. The time machine has to be a simulator that simulates everything, including itself. This seems an impossibility, but I don't think it necessarily is. I think of it more as a differential equation where you have the integral and the function on the two sides of the equal sign. This doesn't stop you from solving the equation. I see the integral as the end result and the function as the action of the time machine.
To explain now why I went into the discussion of time machines and simulators, in case you haven't already predicted the future - your brain is a simulator.
There is ample evidence for this. Imagine yourself catching a flying disc from the air - my favorite sport. To do this, you have to see or otherwise sense the disc. The information from your eyes travels to the brain, the brain does a lot of processing, figures out there is a disc and where it is, sends some impulses to your muscles which also take their time to react and finally your body moves, your fingers clamp on the disc.
The entire process took tens to hundreds of milliseconds, but to catch the disc you need better timing than this, a slow disc may travel 10 cm in 10 milliseconds, a whole meter in 100 milliseconds. How did you do it? Simple, you saw the disc coming in advance, your brain simulated where it would be at the time of the catch. But not only that, before you started to move your hand you knew where your hand would end up to intercept the disc.
The brain simulated your body as well, and not only the movement of your body. Before you caught the disc you knew you wanted to catch it and before you knew you wanted to catch it you knew why. The brain performs this simulation so routinely that we don't realize it in day-to-day life. When you play a computer game you tend to get used to and no longer notice the latency of an animated character on the screen even when that is in the hundreds of milliseconds. You are already used to the late response of your own limbs so that you never notice it.
The brain is exactly the type of simulator that simulates everything including itself, it is the time machine that can give birth to anything. That is my thesis: consciousness is an emergent property of the time machine looking into itself.
The brain is of course not a perfect simulator, it does not create a singularity, like a division-by-zero that breaks reality, but there is a level at which it is close enough. I picture consciousness as a vortex that pierces the fabric of reality so deeply that everything else seems insignificant in comparison.
I don't know whether this theory makes sense to you, I only know it makes sense to me. A theory is only good if it is able to make predictions and I cannot venture into making predictions, at least not just yet. Instead I will try to see if things we already know fit within this theory.
Consciousness is both evolved and learnt
The brain ends up as a powerful simulator, but what exactly does it simulate and how does it do it? If we drive a parallel to machine learning research and if we look at the state of a newborn baby it is fair to assume that the brain is like a neural network that is trained on the inputs it receives.
From the point of view of machine learning this is an ideal case, we have a lot of training data that doesn't need to be labeled. The brain receives information from the senses and trains itself to predict the future. Babies will move their limbs randomly and will initially be surprised and possibly upset at the results, then they learn not to do that anymore as they already know the result. After that they constantly seek new experiences, anything that the simulator cannot predict yet. There were experiments in machine learning as well focusing exactly on this "curiosity", displaying very human and hilarious results - the AI got stuck in front of a TV screen.
One of the implications of what I said so far is that consciousness does not exist at birth. This may come as a surprise to many people and it was a surprise to me when I first learnt of it, long before I came up with this theory. Neuroscientists seem to agree that first signs of consciousness only appear around 5 months of age.
One of the most complex things the brain will learn to predict is the other people, their language, their complex behavior, the way the language correlates with their behavior. The brain has to create this model of other people's behavior because its own rewards depend on it. I was inclined to say the rewards are in terms of nourishment but I don't believe people are in general so cruel not to feed the baby because it doesn't do tricks. The rewards are probably mostly in terms of attention it receives, which further stimulates curiosity.
The simulator is thus trained on other people, we predict how they think, how they act. Most if not all of us can imagine a conversation with a person we know and as far as I can tell it is a common thing to do. Psychologists have observed a phenomenon where people have the tendency to assume others have the same motivations as they themselves would have in the same situation (I learnt of this as "projection" but I see the term may have a slightly more nuanced meaning). From the point of view of our current theory this makes sense: the simulator doesn't learn the behavior of each person independently but reuses as much as possible of the model and it reuses the model for the self.
My claim is that consciousness in a person develops by training the simulator with a model of other people that possess consciousness and simultaneously applying the same model to the self. Where did consciousness start then? Generations upon generations consciousness was refined and evolved into what it is today.
Why consciousness feels so personal
When you have an idea you have the impression that the idea is born in our mind, that it is your brain that produces it. This is often misleading, it is often the case that what you thought was an original idea you have actually heard or read before but do not remember consciously. Even when an idea is new, it was not generated from scratch, but based on many other ideas from other sources.
A lot of processing happened outside of our own brain, even outside our own lifespan. The simple fact that these words, in this sequence, have some meaning to us is the result of a lot of computation and refinement through many centuries. It is hard to separate the computation in our brain from the computation outside of our brain. The point of brainstorming is for people to "think together".
If more brains can think together, why does consciousness feel so individual? I would argue the reason is because the simulator's existence is bound to the existence of a physical body. When it predicts its own future, that future is bound to the future of that physical body. An instinct of conservation arises naturally from the laws of evolution and the awareness of its own end is what makes consciousness what it is. Perhaps one day we will transcend our individual existence, perhaps some individuals already do.
Can a group of people have a common consciousness, perhaps a nation, or humanity as a whole? We have the term "national consciousness" - it is certainly not the same thing as individual consciousness, but a certain analogy can be made. Recent world events prove how national consciousness is most vividly expressed when a nation is threatened. As a more cheerful example, you could look at art as an expression of national or group consciousness in the same way the interior monologue is the expression of individual consciousness.
A few thoughts on AI
There seems to be uncertainty on whether AI can possess consciousness or whether we will ever be able to develop such an AI. If the assumptions made here hold, the solution for AI possessing consciousness is not only possible, but also straightforward: build a simulator and train it to simulate itself within its environment. Make the AI curious, everything it cannot predict yet is a learning experience. Have the AI interact with humans who reward it for integrating in society as one of them - humans seem to do this naturally already, they react positively when the AI is smart and human-like. Alternatively start from scratch with a population of AIs that have to communicate and organize the same way humans had to in the early years of civilization.
We already do all of this to some extent, perhaps not all of them put together. Go playing programs predict their opponent moves, then their own moves and so on for the entire game. AI implementing curiosity as a mechanism learns to play computer games. Large language models continue your sentences simply by predicting what the next word should be. There are machine learning models that can do fluid mechanics and light simulations better than a human can.
I think we are basically there.

"What an intense killing intent… Thank you. It's been a while since I was able to stay awake for so long. You can keep going right? Give me more!"
Nagi Tahira was one of the strongest assassins around. Until one day, while saving his sister from a hostage situation, he suffered a bullet wound to his brain that left him in a vegetative state. Bound to a wheelchair, it seemed that Nagi would never regain consciousness. However, his sister discovered that if feelings of killing intent were directed at him, his consciousness would return, if only to deal with whatever the threat was. Now his sister, Shizuka, seeks to pit him against stronger and more dangerous assassins and situations, in the hopes that one day, something will have enough killing intent to fully revive her brother.

Wheelchairs

In total, Nagi was given seven specialty wheelchairs built by Dr. Radio, each one with a unique purpose and functions.

• Spike Mode: A function on the Mark 1 wheelchair that produces spikes on both wheels, allowing Nagi to scale up walls, as well as attack with the spiked tires
• Mark 3, Fist Version: A combat wheelchair with large, blocky fists and big wheels
  • Touko breaks her fist on one of its blocks
  • Punches Touko through a house, then destructively craters the ground
  • Launches away Naozumi and her Headache Octopus
• Mark 5, Cannon Version: A wheelchair that mounts itself into the ground, allowing Nagi to functionally become a powerful cannon
• Mark 6, Ultrasonic Version: A three wheeled chair boasting incredible speed, busting through a large chain link gate and avoiding machine gun fire
  • Is undamaged despite being very close to a missile explosion
  • Drives around a tunnel over its ceiling
  • Drives over a nearly vertical bridge as its being raised, though Nagi doesn't stick the landing and the wheelchair spins out and crashes through a wall, destroying it
• Mark 7, Heavy Version: A steamroller powered by Nagi's arm strength, which busts through walls with ease
  • Flattens this massive gorilla
• Emergency Use, Office Chair Version: An improvised chair that's just Shizuka pushing him in an office chair

Strength

Arm Blades

• Rips and tears through monkeys, cutting one into pieces by rapidly spinning in place while holding out his blades
  • Again
• Cut through a guy's armor and the wall behind him

Physical Strength

• Is noted to have exceptional arm strength, allowing him to scale vertical walls while in Spike Mode and contend with and overpower a massive gorilla's strength while in Heavy Mode
• While in Cannon Mode, throws a cannonball 500 meters and kills a sniper
• In a flashback, bites down on a knife hard enough that it starts cracking
• Deflects a punch from Touko, who is strong enough to bust straight through a good chunk of ground
• Shoves a guy's head into the floor after dropping from the ceiling
• Kills two guys with a large metal pipe

Durability

• His armor is bulletproof
• Takes a punch from this massive gorilla that launches him through a wall and far outside a building
  • Just two pages earlier this gorilla is shown causing massive damage to the floor with a strike
• Gets pummeled into the ground by Touko after her 2nd valve is released
• Shows little reaction to being stabbed in the chest by a knife, this is followed by being stabbed by four more knives in the back, which he also survives
• Crashes through a wall while on his Ultrasonic wheelchair

Speed

Movement

• Closes the distance between him and a monkey and kills him before his weapon fires, then slashes through a group of monkeys before they can do anything
• Slices through a hallway of monkeys in under a second

Reactions

• Catches a knife stab with two fingers immediately after being awakened by the wielder's killing intent
• Deflects a barrage of gunfire
• Dodges a sniper's shot at him, being awakened just 0.35 seconds prior to him pulling the trigger due to the shooter's killing intent (for context, the sniper was 500 meters away)
• In a flashback from before his hospitalization, catches a knife stab from behind using his mouth
• Shoves his sister away and jumps to the ceiling before a hail of gunfire reaches him

Other

• Spins around in place so quickly that he can slice a monkey to pieces before he starts sliding apart

Killing Intent Detection

General Mechanics

• Nagi can't react to any stimuli unless there's a strong enough killing intent directed at him
• Once the source of the killing intent is taken care of, he can only briefly retain consciousness before becoming comatose once again
• Stronger killing intents make Nagi more powerful/awake
• He's had this ability in some form since before he was hospitalized

Sensitivity

• Even something as small as his sister trying to kill a mosquito by slapping his face is enough to wake him up
• Detects and pinpoints a killing intent from 500 meters away
• A killing intent so potent that it wipes through a city and literally kills people, just causes him to wake up. He can even determine that it was directed at everyone indiscriminately, not specifically at him

Limits

• Nagi can't sense the killing intent of someone using a Headache Octopus, a parasite that hides the host's brain waves, effectively hiding their killing intent
• Killing intent has to be genuine, it isn't something that can be produced without conscious effort, and pretending won't work either

Misc

• Used a set of personally branded grenades

Shizuka Tahira

Nagi's little sister, and also his caretaker. Not very strong or good at assassination like her brother, but she does her best to help him.

• Pilots an eye-shaped drone that accompanies Nagi, allowing the two to talk during missions
• Made a flashbang grenade disguised as a stuffed animal
• Is smacked away by Naozumi while she's using a Headache Octopus, which then stabs through her shoulder with one of its tentacles (she's fine)
• Uses an SMG to shoot at a horde of zombies, though she notes she's not good with guns
• Crashes through a wall while on Nagi's Ultrasonic wheelchair

Prologue
In the verdant heart of Sayla, where the suns painted the sky with warm hues and the gentle whisper of the breeze carried the laughter of children, a soulborn elf named Elyan wandered through the lush forest, his steps as light as the dappled shadows that danced on the forest floor. His eyes sparkled with a carefree spirit, reflecting the beauty of the world around him. Life in Sayla was serene, with the days spent in harmonious coexistence among the vibrant flora and fauna. The village where Elyan lived was a haven for his kind, nestled in the embrace of ancient trees that stood as silent guardians, shielding them from the outside world. The soulborn elves shared a deep connection with the land and its creatures, nurturing an unwavering bond that transcended the passage of time. The villagers, united by a profound sense of kinship, filled their days with song and laughter, celebrating the simple joys of life. Elyan was no exception, cherishing the peace and tranquility that surrounded him. He spent his days exploring the emerald depths of the forest, forging friendships with its inhabitants, and basking in the warmth of his community. As the sun dipped below the horizon, Elyan would often gather with his friends and family around a crackling fire, sharing stories that echoed through the night, weaving a tapestry of memories that bound them together. Many of the stories would be about the trials and tribulations the Soul Born Elves faced over countless generations due to their overall pacifist nature. It is well known in Tra'Vol that Soul Born elves do not even take life as their culture is believed to cherish the sanctity of Life putting nothing else before it. Though true there is another reason soulborn elves do not kill that will be revealed in Elyan's tale. Unbeknownst to Elyan and his people, however, a storm was brewing on the horizon, a dark tide that threatened to shatter their idyllic existence forever. As the shadows lengthened and the air grew heavy with foreboding, the soulborn elves of Sayla would soon find themselves facing a grim reality. From beyond the southern border of Sayla, armies materialized as if conjured from thin air, commanded by a man known as Leviticus Brightsoul—The Wicked King to his own people. At the tender age of 17, Leviticus embarked on his first conquest, swiftly earning recognition from the kingdom of Impre'us. He conquered the provinces of Valta and Alamay and established a foothold in Eria after a brutal, month-long skirmish called The Shallows of Sorrow. The battle earned its name when rumors spread of Leviticus ruthlessly killing and torturing citizens and soldiers alike, leaving a trail of bodies in the shallow waters of the Eria swamplands. The death toll reportedly reached 50,000, yet Leviticus had only led a detachment of 100 troops—an astonishing feat even for the demigods who ruled the royal bloodlines of Tra'Vol. Five years passed after this conquest, and Leviticus returned to his homeland of Impre'us just in time to confront an invading army from Sacarr. Unimpressed, he single-handedly inflicted massive defeats on the invaders, forcing them to retreat. People began to speculate that Leviticus must have sold his soul to a Mala'Deus, as he had slain the Sacre'Noir—a formidable and ruthless warrior race, as well as the demigod representing their bloodline—all by himself. The carnage was said to be so immense that even his own people recoiled in horror as he slaughtered the enemy army, cackling maniacally throughout the ordeal. Everyone deemed his actions sickening and grotesque, except for his father, who saw his son's feat as a triumph that saved the empire. Swelling with pride, his father abdicated the throne, crowning Leviticus as the ruler of Impre'us. Leviticus was delighted but not surprised, as he had already planned to murder his father and seize the throne. With this obstacle removed, he set his sights on the neighboring continent of Lun'aal, intent on claiming its uncharted territories by force. Believing that every land rightfully belonged to his empire, Leviticus dispatched thousands of troops to explore the region. The soldiers landed on the serene coastlines of Mortua Terra, where they established bases that extended to the province of Black Sand and eventually to the borders of Sayla. However, they reported that the dense forests of Sayla made further travel and exploration impossible. Dissatisfied with their explanation and anticipating the rich resources of the unexplored land, Leviticus summoned his trusted advisor, a wizard named De'lacar, and the two used gate magic to teleport directly to the primary base at the border of Black Sand and Sayla. The soldiers in the encampment were taken aback when a tear in the very fabric of reality appeared in their midst, allowing their king and his advisor to step through. Shocked, everyone in the camp immediately knelt before their sovereign, Leviticus Brightsoul.
""No... No, that won't do. Get up!" Leviticus said, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb as if nursing a headache.
"That's precisely why I had to leave the palace! You fools and your desperate attempts to take a break on my time!"
As he finished his sentence, Leviticus snapped his fingers. Small circles appeared around each of the soldiers, signaling impending doom. The camp erupted in a cacophony of cries as the men begged for their lives.
"Sir, please give me another chance!" one called out.
"I'm not going to die like this!" another exclaimed, attempting to flee but quickly realizing his muscles refused to respond.
"Please, Your Majesty, I have a family! Don't be a heartless bastard!" a man cried out, sounding like a frightened child.
"Heartless bastard, huh?... You no longer have a family."
"What?! No! I didn't... mean..."
"Silence!" Leviticus's voice roared, startling even a large predatory creature that had been stalking the troops and lurking nearby.
"The price for your transgressions will be paid in blood, and because of your careless words, not only your blood."
Leviticus removed a glowing, lustrous orb from his battle raiment. The sphere emitted a beautiful dance of colors before abruptly turning a deep blood red moments later. It began spewing blood and viscera onto the man who had insulted him. The man screamed in agony, realizing the gore covering him belonged to his wife and two daughters, recognizing his daughter's torn and shredded face amongst the flesh.
"You!... What have you done?! I'll kill you!!!" the man screamed.
"Oh, will you now? I'll tell you what," Leviticus' eyes briefly shimmered from their normal light blue to a deep, dark red before returning to their original hue. He released the circle around the distraught man. "I'd say I'm a pretty 'fair' king, so I'll give you a fair shot."
Leviticus gestured to his advisor, who produced a strange sword with a glowing essence. Leviticus explained, "The sword issued to you, though strong, won't be enough to kill me in this realm or the next. This sword, however..." He took the sword from his advisor.
"This sword is made from Dwarvain titanium and etched with runic symbols found in ancient texts left behind by the Cyphora Civilization that once called our homeland their own. The symbols and their effects are not important. What is important is that it can even strike down a deity if used properly."
Leviticus hurled the sword at the man, and it embedded itself into the ground next to him.
"Now kill me!" Leviticus said in a playful tone. Unprepared for the soldier's escape, as few ever managed to get away from Leviticus, the soldier seized the sword and took advantage of his short-range teleportation spells. He made it to the border of Sayla, sword in hand, and sought refuge at a monument to the Celes'Deus Solayah. He planted the sword into the ground next to the statue and collapsed beside it. Distraught and trying to determine his next move after witnessing the murder of his family by the king, he began to plan. But no one escapes the Wicked King.
"Should we go after him, sire?" De'lacar asked with urgency.
"Why waste the manpower?" Leviticus responded rhetorically, holding up the orb once again. As it began to glow, the men still held within the circle seemed to evaporate, transforming into pools of blood within the circle. Simultaneously, the soldier who sought refuge at the shrine of Solayah also began to evaporate, as the circle reappeared beneath him leaving behind the sword as the only evidence of his presence at the shrine.
Elsewhere in the province of Sayla, Elyan, utterly unaware of the storm brewing in the distance, continued to revel in the beauty of the present moment. As he ambled through the forest, he heard the distant call of his best friend, Lira, who was perched on a nearby branch.
"Elyan! There you are!" she exclaimed, her melodic voice carrying through the trees. "I've been looking for you everywhere. You know the Soul Dance Ceremony is tonight, right?"
Elyan's eyes sparkled with excitement. "Of course, Lira! Do you know if Sonair is coming this year?"
Lira gracefully hopped down from her perch, landing beside Elyan with a soft rustle of leaves.
"They haven't said, but it's supposed to be a grand celebration of our goddess Solayah this year, so it's sure to be a night to remember. Unlike the last gathering when your brother got drunk on lavender tree sap," Lira recalled, giggling.
"Who even knew that was possible?" Elyan replied, joining in the laughter.
"Apparently Sedwin! One would swear he already knew and just attempted to liven up the boring rituals of our normal Soul Dance Ceremonies," Lira said playfully, tapping Elyan's shoulder.
"Yeah, he's probably responsible for the drunken antics of the village elders nowadays. You think he shared the recipe with them?" Elyan jokingly asked.
"Your little brother does tend to get away with a lot these days!" Lira exclaimed.
Elyan and Lira had been close since childhood. Both being raised as acolytes of Solayah, they never thought of each other as anything more than brother and sister. Elyan, however, had always harbored deeper feelings for Lira. But due to their strict religious beliefs, he never pursued these feelings. Nevertheless, the feelings remained and led to one of the first of many sins Elyan would go on to commit – the sin of coveting.
"You know what, Elyan? We should go visit the nearby shrine of Solayah. It's not too far from where we are now – maybe 20 or 30 minutes at most," Lira suggested eagerly.
Reluctant to resist Lira's captivating golden-hued puppy eyes, Elyan acquiesced, and they embarked on the renowned Living Vine Trail. The path earned its name from the vibrant green mycelium, resembling vines, that meandered languidly through the dense tree canopy overhead. The trail's relative safety ensured a tranquil journey for the couple as they made their way to the shrine. However, upon nearing the shrine's staircase, an unsettling sensation enveloped them—an eerie atmosphere that was decidedly atypical for a sacred space devoted to the Celes'Deus.
"Elyan, do you feel that?" Lira inquires nervously, drawing closer to him for comfort. "Yes... I do. Something dark has transpired here."
"At a shrine dedicated to a celestial deity?" Lira's voice trembles with the onset of fear. "We must turn back now, Elyan!"
Just as Elyan is about to agree, a glint of something catches his eye near the Statue of Solayah at the shrine's apex.
"Lira, wait here. I'll only be a moment," he insists, starting up the marble staircase.
"Elyan, are you serious? We need to hurry back and inform the elders about the dreadful occurrence here!" Lira protests.
"We will, but first, I must ensure the shrine hasn't been desecrated. We cannot risk angering Solayah before the Soul Dance Ceremony tonight," Elyan explains, swiftly ascending the staircase.
"Elyan, you better hurry up! I mean it!" Lira calls after him, her worry evident in her voice.
Upon reaching the magnificent golden statue of Solayah in all its splendor, Elyan is suddenly overcome by the stench of decay and an overwhelming sense of despair, causing his stomach to churn violently. He scans the area for the source of the repugnant odor, expecting to find the decomposing remains of an animal, but discovers nothing. Instead, his eyes are drawn to an exquisite sword planted beside the statue, unlike any he had ever encountered before. As Elyan picks up the sword to examine it, he notices the emblem of the Dwarvain Empire on its pommel—a familiar sight, as the Solvaylians are well-acquainted with the Knomadic race that inhabits Dwarvain. Beyond this single detail, however, the sword remains a mystery to Elyan. The hilt is wrapped in a sturdy wyvern hide, but it doesn't match any wyvern species he has ever seen. The golden crossguard bears intricate etchings in an indecipherable language, while the blade itself is inscribed with magical runes that are equally unfamiliar to him.
As if compelled by the enigmatic blade, Elyan conceals it within his cloak and makes his way back down the staircase. Elyan's descent is hastened by a sense of urgency as he clutches the mysterious sword hidden beneath his cloak. As he reaches the foot of the staircase, Lira's eyes widen in alarm, sensing the change in him.
"Elyan, what did you find up there?" she inquires, her voice quivering with trepidation.
He hesitates for a moment, contemplating whether or not to reveal the sword to Lira. Finally, he decides to confide in her, drawing the enigmatic weapon from its concealment. Her eyes fixate on the sword, reflecting a mix of awe and concern.
"I found this next to the statue of Solayah," Elyan explains. "I've never seen anything like it before. It bears the emblem of the Dwarvain Empire, but everything else about it is unfamiliar. I couldn't just leave it there."
Lira's gaze shifts from the sword to Elyan's face, searching for reassurance. "We need to take this to the elders immediately. They might be able to shed some light on its origin and significance, especially with the unsettling atmosphere surrounding the shrine."
Elyan nods in agreement, carefully returning the sword to its hiding place within his cloak. With the weight of their discovery weighing heavily upon them, the duo retraces their steps along the Living Vine Trail, eager to share their findings with the village elders and uncover the truth behind the mysterious sword and the ominous presence at the shrine. As they walk, they cannot shake the feeling that their lives have become entwined with a destiny far greater than they ever could have imagined.
As the sun dipped lower in the sky, casting a warm golden glow over the village, Elyan and Lira joined their fellow Soulborn Elves in the village square. The atmosphere buzzed with anticipation, as everyone eagerly awaited the elders' pronouncement.
Elder Aelara, a sagacious and revered figure within the community, stepped forward and raised her hands, calling for silence. Her voice, gentle yet authoritative, effortlessly captivated the attention of all those present.
"Children of Sayla," she began, her eyes sweeping over the assembly, "we gather here tonight to celebrate our bond with the forest and the spirits that dwell within its embrace. The harmony we share with the land and its creatures is a precious gift, one that we must treasure and safeguard for generations to come."
Her words were met with nods of agreement and murmurs of approval. Elyan, standing beside Lira, felt a swell of pride in his chest. The bond his people shared with the land was something truly special, and he was grateful to be part of such a unique and connected community.
As the night progressed, the music filled the air, creating a magical atmosphere that enveloped the village. Elyan and Lira danced and sang, their hearts brimming with happiness and love for their people. However, the discovery at the Shrine of Solayah weighed heavily on their minds, and they knew they had to share the information with the village elders.
Taking a break from the festivities, they approached Elder Aelara, who was speaking with a small group of villagers.
"Elder Aelara," Elyan called out, trying to mask the urgency in his voice. "May we speak with you for a moment? It's important."
Aelara turned to face them, her wise eyes showing concern. "Of course, Elyan, Lira. What troubles you?"
Lira glanced around, ensuring no one was eavesdropping, before she began. "We visited the Shrine of Solayah earlier today, and we found something... unusual."
Elyan chimed in, "Yes, there was this strange sword next to the statue, and it bore the emblem of the Empire of Dwarvain. It also had magical runes etched into its blade, runes we've never seen before." Aelara quickly snatched the sword away as if taking poison from a child, eyes widened, and she exchanged a worried glance with the other elders. "This is troubling news. We must investigate this matter further. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. Please, enjoy the rest of the ceremony, and we will discuss this further tomorrow." Taking the sword from them, she sent them on their way.
Elyan and Lira nodded, a sense of relief washing over them as they returned to the celebration. They hoped that the village's wise leaders would uncover the truth behind the mysterious sword and the disquiet it had stirred.
As the night of festivities drew to a close, Elyan and Lira found themselves sitting together at the village dock on the Ta'kalu River, following their nightly tradition.
"I was at Solayah's shrine just three days ago, and that sword wasn't there," Lira said, her voice tinged with concern. "Maybe it was accidentally left behind by some adventurer," Elyan suggested, trying to ease her worries.
"But that's the thing, Elyan," Lira countered. "When's the last time you remember an adventurer passing through Sayla?"
Elyan furrowed his brow, deep in thought. "I don't..."
"Exactly!" Lira exclaimed. "We only hear stories of adventurers in Sayla. Our home is nearly inhospitable to outsiders. Many have been swallowed by the jungles, as evidenced by the number of skeletons we've discovered."
They sat in silence for a moment, contemplating the unsettling implications of the mysterious sword's presence in their sacred shrine. But for now, they could only hope that the wisdom of their elders would provide answers and guidance in the days to come.
Meanwhile, at the border between BlackSands and Sayla, King Leviticus began mobilizing thousands of troops skilled in jungle-based warfare. He ordered the transport of ample supplies and materials for his military campaign into the uncharted province of Sayla.
"Your Majesty, word has come from the Emperor Isles that your father and his council disapprove of your campaign into Sayla. They are taking action to sway public opinion against you," De'lacar informed King Leviticus. "How should we proceed? Executing the old fool now would silence his council effectively." De'lacar suggested.
Leviticus furrowed his brow, considering the situation. "I'm less concerned about his feeble council than the consequences of killing the old man. No, executing him will be... complicated at this stage in my plan," Leviticus replied thoughtfully, weighing his options.
"De'lacar, contact the Alliance of Dark Heart and offer them a substantial reward for eliminating my mother. They must stage the event to implicate Old Man Lavarus, providing us with the perfect pretext to sentence him to death," Leviticus commanded, his voice unwavering.
"As you wish, Your Majesty. But... if I may," De'lacar hesitated, only to be immediately interrupted by Leviticus' thunderous voice.
"You may not!"
"Understood, Your Majesty," De'lacar responded, bowing his head in submission as he stepped backward into a swirling portal that closed behind him, leaving Leviticus to ponder his next move. The door to Leviticus's war room creaked open once more.
"Sire, the troops will be fully mobilized in about a month, and the fortress you commissioned will be completed in a matter of days," General Gurod reported, kneeling in submission to his king.
"And what of the local population here in BlackSands?" Leviticus inquired.
"We successfully captured the Perr'ju city of Ku'ran and many of the neighboring villages... however," the general hesitated.
"However?" Leviticus probed with great interest.
"Sir, the land here is harsh, and morale among the men in the 19th division is dwindling. They request permission to withdraw from the Sundered Coast and StoneBlossom Meadows," General Gurod explained, fear creeping into his voice.
"Withdrawal?..... Withdrawal!?" Leviticus stood, his piercing blue eyes flashing a fiery red for an instant. "The troops have been 'withdrawn'," he declared, sitting back down with a sinister grin.
"The 20th division is now the 19th division, and so forth for divisions 20 through 50," Leviticus detailed manically."Sir... That division comprised one hundred thousand men."
"And there will be one less to worry about unless you curb your questioning tone, General Gurod," Leviticus warned, his voice cold and unforgiving.
"Now that that little detail is taken care of, send a detachment of troops to retake the city of Ku'ran and recapture the local populations for use as slaves. The Sundered Coast and StoneBlossom Meadows are to be reoccupied immediately by the 19th division, formerly the 20th," Leviticus cackled.
"As you command, sire," General Gurod replied submissively as he stood and walked toward the war room's exit.
"Oh, and one more thing, General!" Leviticus called out as he sauntered over to Gurod, handing him a sealed parchment scroll bearing the symbol of the Mala'Deus Pantheon.
"Take this to the statue of Nero located on the edge of the DustBowl." Gurod grasped the scroll, his face a mix of shock and fear due to the ominous symbol and the perilous location he was to visit. However, not wanting to question a man who had just dispatched one hundred thousand men without a mere word, the general accepted the scroll without hesitation, simply responding, "As you wish, sire."
Back in Sayla, Elyan and Lira awoke early, eager to learn whether the elders had uncovered anything about the mysterious sword they had found the night before. They met at the prestigious Temple of the Celestial Gods, only to be greeted by a locked door.
"The door is only locked when something serious is happening," Elyan told Lira, trying to peer through a crack in the heavy wooden door.
"I know... it's troubling. The last time the temple was locked, we were attacked by a swarm of Bush Wyverns not long after," Lira replied, her voice filled with concern.
"Maybe we should just take it easy, Lira. The elders could be deliberating for hours, and I have chores to do at home anyway," Elyan suggested, stepping away from the door. "Yeah, maybe you're right. I have to go get Gecko herb from the village south of here today anyway. Perhaps things will have settled down by then," Lira replied, her frustration evident.
"The village of Floravale, right? I understand your frustration. It gets cold there, being so close to BlackSands," Elyan said compassionately.
"Yes! It can be tedious sometimes, but fortunately, Grandma's warm Gecko tea is a refuge all on its own," Lira declared, her spirits lifting.
"Ah yes! I remember Granny's Gecko tea! Pure as Solayah's soul," Elyan reminisced fondly, thinking back to his time as a youth in Floravale village.
"Well, I'll be sure to pass on your high praise to her," Lira responded with a giddy giggle. "You know, you could come with me. You're always welcome at Grandma Laya's house, Elyan, and I'm sure she'd love to see you after all these years."
"I would love to join you, Lira, but my mother's sickness has worsened lately, and my father will need help tilling the field. I'm glad Eleene is old enough to take over my mother's household duties. Krain knows Sedwin wouldn't be able to handle it," Elyan explained, reflecting on his younger brother's laziness.
"Is she still sick?" Lira asked with concern. "That's not good at all, Elyan. It's been, what, about four weeks now, right? Have you tried consulting Shaman Arlo about a possible remedy?" Lira inquired, her anticipation palpable.
"My sister Eleene has visited him several times, and the last time she inquired, he was just as puzzled as we are. So, he came to our home and made a dire prognosis. He says my mother is suffering from an illness related to our ancestral heritage. But when we asked him to elaborate further, he wouldn't say more, only that she had a matter of months before..." Elyan's voice trailed off, his teeth gritting slightly.
"I'm... so sorry, Elyan," Lira replied sympathetically. A dead silence filling the air.
"All things ethereal, the living intertwine... The meaning of life discovered, but only when we die," Elyan recited a verse from the scriptures on the teachings of Solayah. "It's okay, Lira. We're just going to make her as comfortable as possible before she rejoins Solayah."
"That's a noble task, Elyan. I truly commend you," Lira replied. "Well, I have to go if I want to get back in time to hear what the elders have to say. See you later, Elyan!" She hurried down the road heading south out of the village.
"Safe travels, Lira!" Elyan called out, watching Lira disappear into the distance.
"Well, I'd better get to my father," Elyan said to himself, preparing for the day ahead.
In the continent of Sol'aay, across the vast sea, former King Lavarus of Impre'us province and father to Leviticus, convenes with his council at the Temple of Sol'thur on the Emperor Isles. They engage in a heated debate about the impending invasion of Sayla and the reckless actions of Leviticus, who ascended the throne mere months ago.
"This is an utter disaster! Your son will be the downfall of our kingdom!" Adviser Calvris exclaims, addressing the former king Lavarus.
"Why did you abdicate so readily? Just because he vanquished those supposed 'invaders'?" another adviser adds.
Lavarus tries to interject, "It was an invasion..."
"Massacre, sire! Anyone with eyes saw what Prince Laventus did to those people," Adviser Calvris retorts.
"That's King Laventus, you insolent worm!" De'lacar announces, entering the chambers with numerous guards in tow.
The sudden appearance causes everyone in the room to stand. Lavarus demands, "What is the meaning of this, De'lacar?" his tone a mix of confusion and impatience.
"Well, 'Sire,' you are under arrest for high treason, for your involvement in the death of your wife, Queen Silla," De'lacar proclaims, gesturing for the guards to arrest Lavarus.
"What?! No..." Lavarus utters, shocked by the news.
"Unfortunately, yes. And the punishment for such a crime is public execution," De'lacar reveals, a sinister smile gracing his lips.
"How could he do this? Tell me, De'lacar! How could he have his sweet, innocent mother murdered?" Lavarus implores. De'lacar merely shrugs, responding, "I wasn't allowed to ask," before attempting to leave the room.
"Do you really think we'll let you and Leviticus get away with this, you glorified lapdog?" Adviser Calvris challenges De'lacar, garnering the support of his fellow advisers.
"No, which is why none of you will leave this room," De'lacar replies. "You may complete your contract, but don't leave a mess this time."
De'lacar's words puzzle the council as he ushers Lavarus out in shackles, closing the door behind him. Suddenly, small black energy masses with a purple aura appear next to each of the seven advisers' heads, darting into them as if possessing them. A dark figure clad in black leather armor emerges from the shadows, and the now zombie-like advisers form a single file line, following the mysterious figure out the door.
"Don't leave a mess this time," the mysterious figure, Zel, mocks De'lacar childishly. Two other figures materialize from the darkness behind him.
"Don't be so childish, Zel," the tallest of the figures scolds. "Indeed, your overconfidence could be your undoing," a female voice chimes in with laughter.
"Yeah, yeah, stop lecturing me! This contract was already disappointing," Zel grumbles.
"Please! This contract was the witches tits! Not every day you get to stage a murder within in the royal bloodlines" the female voice counters.
"Of course you had fun, you got the most pleasurable kill with that frail old Lady Sinclair," Zel retorts.
The trio, along with the entranced advisers, proceed down the palace hallway, reaching a dead end. Zel recites an incantation, "Queen of the night, heed your children's call, for we've fulfilled our tasks and killed them all!" Simultaneously, he casts a handful of black powder at the wall.
The wall transforms into a distorted portal, emanating a faint purple glow and the haunting sounds of countless souls groaning in agony. As the mysterious figures and their captives step through, the largest cloaked figure drops a black rose with deep purple pedals, before the portal vanishes behind them. A calling card of the Alliance of Dark Heart.

Just need to vent coz I dont wanna talk about it. I got called Shameless, Deaf and Dumb and numerous other hindi curses I dont understand.
I live in a gated society which is incredibly anti-stray dog. Today we got the stray dog which was caught against Animal Welfare guidelines released. And everyone (100+) who were against this came to stop us, picked fights, shouted and insulted us (we are 5 people). Its kinda traumatising.
They took photos of us all kept saying Shame Shame at us. I feel so sad and am tired. Its like whole of the society now knows my face and just hates me. I shifted here only 2 months back and I am a tenant. Some even came to me saying I know you live in Pranab’s (my landlord) flat. Im scared they will tell on me to my landlord. I guess I shouldn’t have become part of this fight if I wasnt brave enough to face this.
But its just one dog we wanted to save. I just wanna cry and not talk about it. I Hope tomorrow will be pleasant day for me and dogs.

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serious note I’m interested only in men that live in the USA & I will not respond to messages without a photo*
Hi there :) my name is Kara. Though I know my post says I’m seeking a serious relationship, I just want to disclose that that’s not what I expect to find here. It’s just my own personal journey I’m on but I very much welcome genuine friendship if that’s all we’re compatible with.
So, about me. The things that make me smile the most are animals, heavy metal music, peaceful nature landscapes, deep meaningful conversations where there’s mutual emotional and mental connection
Things that make me laugh the most are South Park, a random YouTube channel I watch that involves vulgar puppets, inappropriate words/drawings on random things that make said object appear more obscene than it is
I’m mostly a very friendly, chill person with a passion for traveling and animals along with enjoying doing my own thing. I’m not much of a follower, I prefer to walk my own path and indulge in my own hobbies and interests. I’d love to find others on here who enjoy doing that as well.I’m also a big fan of horror movies. If you’re also really into horror movies then that would be a big plus for me. I do prefer to connect with others who also enjoy horror movies. It unfortunately is disappointing to me if you’re not real into horror movies and I’ll be honest, not being into them or being open to them is a dealbreaker.
I won’t go into too many details on what I look for in a relationship but I do want to briefly state that I’m not the casual hook up type. If you’re into that then that’s cool, you do you. But that’s not for me and it never will be. I’d be most compatible with someone who also prefers something serious and long term. Someone who is honest, hard working, sincere, genuine, funny, emotionally intelligent, patient & considerate,is introspective, along with being physically affectionate , and loves animals as much as I do. I’m definitely not the religious type since I’m agnostic and I don’t ever want kids either. I don’t do drugs either so again, if you do them then that’s your choice. I won’t judge you but drug use is a deal breaker for me unless it’s occasional pot use for medicinal purposes. As a whole, I definitely seek a partner that will make me smile, make me laugh, support me, respect me and shares some of my values and beliefs. I know no one can tick off all of my boxes cause no one is a perfect fantasy. I just want you to tick off enough to where there’s enough chemistry to make a healthy long lasting relationship.
So yeah, that about wraps up my post and what I’m aiming for :) if I sound like we’d click well and hit it off then feel free to reach out. But I’d prefer you to do so if you have intentions of wanting to keep in touch. I know ghosting is normalized in society and we all have our reasons for choosing that. I’m just not here to waste time or find a casual connection. That’s just not me. I also don’t mind a long distance relationship if we happen to hit it off well enough and I’d like to find someone who is open to that is well and would want to put in actual effort with communication and eventually meeting up in person.
Here’s a photo of me :) https://imgur.com/a/znY7fJP
If you message me, please include a photo of yourself. I really do want to see the person I’m interacting with.If you don’t send a picture, then I won’t respond to you. And physical attraction is definitely a must for me when it comes to relationships. I don’t expect you to look like a celebrity or a Greek god but I definitely am most attracted to a masculine, clean shaven (beards are a turn off for me) looking face & a healthy body that’s just fit and can tell that a person cares about their health and how they look.First impressions matter a whole lot to me as well, I don’t particularly like when a guy comes on too strongly or comes across as too desperate. That’s all. And also I’m only interested in forming connections within the 24-36 age group. We’re probably more likely to have things in common that way. When it comes to the younger crowds in their mid 20s, I can vibe with them well but only if they’re mature for their age and can hold deep conversations on various topics and at least have some confidence in their social abilities.
also want to list a few dealbreakers cause I do know what I want and what I don’t want. Mainly my biggest deal breakers are if you want/already have kids, don’t want true commitment, have an immature/low confidence attitude, or if you don’t have enough of your life together. By that I mean if you currently have a lot of drama or just too many chaotic things going on to where you don’t have the time to devote to someone to form a true connection. Also being a big workaholic puts me off as well. I do understand how a job you’re super passionate about can be a big part of your life but I just don’t want someone who puts more effort into their career than a relationship. When it comes down to everything, I just want someone who is able to strike a good balance between work and family and friends and everything else. That’s really all I ask for.

I’m a simple guy. I work, pay bills, run errands, and enjoy my hobbies. Growing up, life was always envisioned as becoming highly educated, married, a nice house, children - the whole white picket fence story.
Life never goes the way one might think, especially when you grew up trying to please everyone but yourself. The past few years, I’ve worked on myself - lost 70lbs, cooking for myself, learning to say no, and indulging in the little things in life that brings me joy.
I believe I’m finally in a place where I’m happy with the way things are, except for one thing. I’ve always put romance on the back burner. While I know I have a lot of love to give, I lacked confidence and was always insecure about my weight. I’m down to 155lbs from 225lbs (thanks Keto!) and it feels amazing to not be uncomfortable in my own skin. I’m still aiming to lose 10lbs more before my trip to Disney Springs (there won’t be any dieting on vacation). It may sound like a low weight for a guy, but I’m not all that tall at 5’6”.
I come from a close-knit family, and my friends are basically my second family. This is a part of the Caribbean lifestyle. Yes, I live in the Caribbean. Location doesn’t matter when getting to know one another, and LDR isn’t a problem, but if things progress then living apart isn’t something I want. Of course there’s no rush, and I don’t expect either of us to pick up our lives and move without a proper meeting(s) and seeing how well we mesh in person. As I will be in Florida on vacation, it would be great to get some dating experience if the opportunity arises. I’ve been out of the dating scene for over 10 years and have no clue what I should be doing. Maybe dinner and a movie? Exploring Disney? Maybe that’s all too old-fashioned? I’m open to suggestions!
In terms of communication, I would like to stick to messages at first before voice chatting. I am an introvert and social anxiety bares it’s head every now and then, but I’ve also worked on both of those things during my weight loss journey. We can message on Reddit at first then move to Discord if it’s more convenient as it’s my main messaging app. I’m not big on social media, so no Snapchat or Instagram, but that’s my personal preference as I’m a fairly private person.
As I’ve mentioned Discord, I will say now that I’m a nerdy guy. Video games, Marvel, DC, Anime, Technology, etc. are all interests of mine. While I would love to have someone who shares interest in all of these things, it’s definitely not required. I consider myself well-versed in many subject matters, and my personality allows me to fit into various social groups. I can separate my hobbies from life in general. Of course, if you’re into any of these things, it would be awesome, but again, it’s not required.
I also enjoy building model kits, cooking, baking, making ice cream, and working with my hands. I know my profile lacks food pics, but I promise I have tons of pics of things I’ve made that are all Keto friendly and look delicious. There’s also things that I’ve baked for family and friends too. One hobby that I would like to get into more is traveling. I’ve only been to a few places outside the Caribbean, and I’m hoping to travel more in the future. Hence, why I’m taking a vacation as it’s been over 3 years since my last trip.
I grew up in a strict Christian home, but I don’t consider myself to have any specific religious affiliation. I left that lifestyle behind after high school and while there are some values I still hold true, I don’t discriminate against anyone or push those values on others. I am monogamous, respectful, and a listener. I don’t have a problem with any religious affiliation once it’s not pushed onto me.
In truth, I’m not sure what I expect from this post. I’ve lurked on R4R for some time and have messaged a few people that caught my interest, but nothing came of it. I guess while I’m happier in life now, the loneliness has become more apparent and led me here. Meeting up to chill at Disney isn’t a requirement to send a message. It’s just a hopeful idea. I’ll be happy just to hear from anyone whose interest I gathered.
As appearances matter for many people, I don’t mind sharing a picture of myself upon request. I’m just not comfortable posting it in this message. If you do request a photo, I ask that you respond in kind with your photo as well.
Side Note: To all the guys who have messaged me wishing I was a woman, I’ve had a good laugh and appreciate the compliments.

I’m a simple guy. I work, pay bills, run errands, and enjoy my hobbies. Growing up, life was always envisioned as becoming highly educated, married, a nice house, children - the whole white picket fence story.
Life never goes the way one might think, especially when you grew up trying to please everyone but yourself. The past few years, I’ve worked on myself - lost 70lbs, cooking for myself, learning to say no, and indulging in the little things in life that brings me joy.
I believe I’m finally in a place where I’m happy with the way things are, except for one thing. I’ve always put romance on the back burner. While I know I have a lot of love to give, I lacked confidence and was always insecure about my weight. I’m down to 155lbs from 225lbs (thanks Keto!) and it feels amazing to not be uncomfortable in my own skin. I’m still aiming to lose 10lbs more before my trip to Disney Springs (there won’t be any dieting on vacation). It may sound like a low weight for a guy, but I’m not all that tall at 5’6”.
I come from a close-knit family, and my friends are basically my second family. This is a part of the Caribbean lifestyle. Yes, I live in the Caribbean. Location doesn’t matter when getting to know one another, and LDR isn’t a problem, but if things progress then living apart isn’t something I want. Of course there’s no rush, and I don’t expect either of us to pick up our lives and move without a proper meeting(s) and seeing how well we mesh in person. As I will be in Florida on vacation, it would be great to get some dating experience if the opportunity arises. I’ve been out of the dating scene for over 10 years and have no clue what I should be doing. Maybe dinner and a movie? Exploring Disney? Maybe that’s all too old-fashioned? I’m open to suggestions!
In terms of communication, I would like to stick to messages at first before voice chatting. I am an introvert and social anxiety bares it’s head every now and then, but I’ve also worked on both of those things during my weight loss journey. We can message on Reddit at first then move to Discord if it’s more convenient as it’s my main messaging app. I’m not big on social media, so no Snapchat or Instagram, but that’s my personal preference as I’m a fairly private person.
As I’ve mentioned Discord, I will say now that I’m a nerdy guy. Video games, Marvel, DC, Anime, Technology, etc. are all interests of mine. While I would love to have someone who shares interest in all of these things, it’s definitely not required. I consider myself well-versed in many subject matters, and my personality allows me to fit into various social groups. I can separate my hobbies from life in general. Of course, if you’re into any of these things, it would be awesome, but again, it’s not required.
I also enjoy building model kits, cooking, baking, making ice cream, and working with my hands. I know my profile lacks food pics, but I promise I have tons of pics of things I’ve made that are all Keto friendly and look delicious. There’s also things that I’ve baked for family and friends too. One hobby that I would like to get into more is traveling. I’ve only been to a few places outside the Caribbean, and I’m hoping to travel more in the future. Hence, why I’m taking a vacation as it’s been over 3 years since my last trip.
I grew up in a strict Christian home, but I don’t consider myself to have any specific religious affiliation. I left that lifestyle behind after high school and while there are some values I still hold true, I don’t discriminate against anyone or push those values on others. I am monogamous, respectful, and a listener. I don’t have a problem with any religious affiliation once it’s not pushed onto me.
In truth, I’m not sure what I expect from this post. I’ve lurked on R4R for some time and have messaged a few people that caught my interest, but nothing came of it. I guess while I’m happier in life now, the loneliness has become more apparent and led me here. Meeting up to chill at Disney isn’t a requirement to send a message. It’s just a hopeful idea. I’ll be happy just to hear from anyone whose interest I gathered.
As appearances matter for many people, I don’t mind sharing a picture of myself upon request. I’m just not comfortable posting it in this message. If you do request a photo, I ask that you respond in kind with your photo as well.
Side Note: To all the guys who have messaged me wishing I was a woman, I’ve had a good laugh and appreciate the compliments.

So I have been replaying Dragon Age 2 over the last couple of weeks, and I am always surprised by how much I enjoy this game, despite its reputation. That isn't to say that the game is by any means perfect, but I do genuinely think that there is a lot to be enjoyed.
Firstly, the writing. Generally, I think the game is quite well written, at least in comparison to some of the other things that I have been playing or watching, recently. For example, my girlfriend has been playing another RPG lately, and Dragon Age 2 is just leaps and bounds ahead of that game's comparatively very dull characters and story.
In terms of the plot, I am generally interested in just about everything that is going on, and I really enjoy the game's three-act structure. The game does a really good job of setting up each conflict early on, and slowly escalating each one, before their respective eventual boiling points. Nothing ever comes out of left field, and I enjoyed reading about or hearing about certain characters, long before I would eventually meet them, like Knight-Commander Meredith.
One other thing that Dragon Age 2 does, is it really expanded the Dragon Age world. Dragon Age Origins excelled with its characters and some political intrigue, but whilst its setting had some interesting ideas, it was quite focused on its more arguably generic aspects. You must unite the Humans, and the Dwarves, and the Elves, and fight off the evil horde of Orcs Darkspawn. The Elves live in the forests, the Dwarves live underground, etc, etc. Nothing you haven't seen before. But then there were some really interesting aspects sprinkled in, like how mages were vulnerable to being possessed by demons, and how the church had to control them through an order of warriors called Templars. Also, one of your companions was from this strange society known as the Qunari, with a very interesting straightforward, and straight to the point view of the world, and way of communicating - but these aspects were never really greatly explored in Origins. Dragon Age 2 takes these, and runs with them.
Your companions are all also pretty great. I would say that some of them are definitely more likeable than others, but they are all generally very interesting. I feel like this is one of BioWare's biggest strengths, and Dragon Age 2 really flexes, in this department.
The only real conceit from a writing perspective, is how the game handles mages in your band of companions. Again, in the Dragon Age world, mages outside of the control of the Templars are viciously hunted. In Origins you had an excuse, because the Grey Wardens operate outside of their control, but in Dragon Age 2, you, and/or up to three of your companions are constantly launching fireballs from your fingers, often right in front of Templars, and they often do not even acknowledge it, or just wave it away, and never bring it up again. It is admittedly pretty daft.
Though I think one of the biggest criticisms of 2 comes from the locations that you visit, and occasionally that Dragon Age 2 doesn't feel like much of a sequel, because of its drastically smaller scope. To the latter point, I think that there is a lot of value to telling a smaller scale story, that focuses on a small group of characters, in a smaller location. This allows you to become intimately familiar with the places that you visit, exploring all of the secrets than can be discovered, and really getting to know all of the characters that you meet along the way. From a story perspective, I think that Dragon Age 2 succeeds quite admirably in this aspect, but from a gameplay and visual perspective, it fails quite miserably.
Dragon Age 2 takes place almost exclusively inside, and around, the city of Kirkwall. "The city of chains", once a hub for slaves and slavers, named for the obvious, and also that giant chains hang in Kirkwalls harbour. Whilst this is frequently mentioned in dialogue and in codex pages, from a visual perspective, this is not used at all. As a city, Kirkwall is incredibly dull. Hightown is just grey stone buildings, Lowtown is just brown mud buildings, and there are almost no points of interest, or landmarks across the entire city. What is worse, is that the city never changes at all, over the years in which you inhabit it. There are no opportunities to improve the conditions of the more impoverished districts, and the city doesn't bare the scars of any previous battles that occur in it. One of your companions even inherits a mansion; it looks abandoned and haunted when you first arrive, and after 6 years, it still does. It is both static, and dull - the worst combination.
It is also worth mentioning the constant re-use of environments for its various dungeons. There are a few different ones that show up every now and again, but the same cellar could be a secret passage out of the city, or a criminal gang's hideout, or the secret lair of a crazy mage. It is more than a little distracting, especially because the way the game of blocks off unused passageways is less than obscure.
As for the combat, I do generally have positive things to say about it. Compared to Origins, each spell has more depth, through the use of various upgrades - like the ability to add stagger, disoriented, or brittle debuffs to enemies, which other classes can then exploit for extra damage - but there are less spells overall. Combat animations and audio feedback are also much improved over Origins, which is definitely welcomed. As a result, combat feels much more energetic, and is much more interesting to watch. I do definitely miss the tactical camera, though.
The biggest issue with the combat, in my eyes, is how the game handles enemy spawning. In virtually every encounter, you walk up to a group of enemies, and initiate combat. Halfway through the encounter, or just as you are about to kill the last enemy, a new group of enemies will just appear out of nowhere - jumping down from an invisible ledge, or appearing from around a nearby corridor. Combat encounters can often contain two or three times the amount of enemies than you initially thought would be there. There is no way to predict or prevent this, which makes it difficult to anticipate when to use any abilities with long cooldowns, and it also makes it tough to appropriately position your companions, when enemies can suddenly appear in your backline at any moment. Sometimes, you end up barely surviving one group of enemies, only to have a fresh group appear almost out of thin air, and finish you off.
Also, enemy mages are pretty absurd. They particularly favour three abilities, one of which is some kind of area of effect death ball that will kill you in moments. There is no obvious telegraph of this attack, It just appears on the floor, and immediately starts taking chunks out of your health. Combined with the previous issue of enemies just spawning out of thin air - and sometimes it is a mage - it can be really annoying to deal with, and is probably my number-one cause of death for this entire playthrough.
Overall, I do really like Dragon Age 2, but in almost every regard, there is one crippling aspect that prevents the game from reaching higher highs. Still though, it is a miracle that Bioware managed to pull this off in around 16 months of development time, warts and all.