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Python Coder for Sweat Equity on Existing App.
2023.03.31 18:44 alkadelic Python Coder for Sweat Equity on Existing App.
The Background:
I'm just gonna throw it out there. This is not a groundbreaking app or anything. The way I see it, we should remodel other successes instead of trying to re-invent the wheel. Pioneers always end up with arrows on their back. I don't wan to a pioneer. If you don't either, please keep reading.
Between 2011 and 2018, I worked with several marketing agencies. One of them being White Hat here in Austin, a top level agency. They would contract us to manage their ad accounts. Mainly Google Ads and FB. I was in charge of onboarding new clients. This meant adding pixels, setting up audiences, and setting up conversion tracking for all sales funnels. Then test it, and then test once more. I was also in charge of creatives. Our marketing manager would optimize and split testing once campaigns were live. However, I was front and center and asked a lot of questions. I already had my own personal endeavors with Google Ads selling trying to sell affiliate products years prior. It just so happened around that time, I decided to buy a $500 FB ads course. Mind blowing stuff is what I learned. This let me to look into web apps.
The Plan:
The initial campaign objective is engagement. This means a lot of on-camera videos for anchoring personality.(but mainly because video makes more sales) around the solutions we'll be selling. This not some snake sales trick. This is real genuine content that actually helps people out.
After about 2-3 weeks of building our audiences(views). We light a match and start promoting.
The secondary campaign objective is conversions. It's the same for Google and FB. I have a very decent advertising budget to get started according to mentors and this is only an overview of the plan. There's a lot more detail going into this launch.
The App:
My personal research on keyword search volume and google trends led me to lead generation apps. I already have a Google Maps scrapper web app using Django python and proxy services on my own server. Next, I plan integrate Linkedin. With these two networks I plan to infiltrate the B2B niche.
....but before I could do that.
I need to add an email autoresponder. This is not a huge update and there's lots of documentation and videos out there. This means clients don't have to leave the app to create mailing campaigns. They will be able to choose from over two dozen outreach email templates for various industries that I've accumulated over the past year when researching competitors.
The Near Future:
The long term plan is to go down the list of other social networks and scrape emails from FB, Instagram, Youtube, Twitter. This means we can tap into B2C niche once we hit this point. And can begin to integrate into the API's of CRM's and other marketing solutions to tap into their audiences with less friction getting on the way.
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2023.03.31 18:43 TromboneSlideLube Open-table game suggestions?
Hello all! I run an open-table game at my friendly local game store. Up until now I have been running D&D 5e because it's the game most people are familiar with. The problem I've been having lately is that character creation just takes way too long. It's hard to keep the momentum going for my semi-regular players when the first 20 or 30 minutes of nearly every session is helping a new player build a character.
I have a few options that I've been considering and I've listed them below. I also have a few features I'm looking for listed out. These aren't required features but thought it might be useful to explain my rational a little bit. I would love some input or suggestions! Thank you!
Important (but not required) features 1. Fast character creation - doesn't have to be instantaneous, but <15 min per character would be ideal. 2. A skill system of some sort - this is a personal preference so NBD if it's not included. 3. Good pre-written adventures - Another personal preference. I enjoy running pre-written games and it gives me something to fall back on if I don't have a lot of time to prepare in any given week.
Games I'm considering 1. Old School Essentials - meets most of my criteria but a little cumbersome 2. Mörk Borg - This would be the obvious answer but I'm afraid the tone of the game might be too harsh for an open-table game. My FLGS also skews tward the younger crowd so that's something to consider. 3. Mothership - Another obvious answer but I don't know if I want to get invested before version 1.0 gets published. 4. TROIKA! - This one seems super fun but might be too far out there for first time roleplayers.
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2023.03.31 18:43 karsyeni Creative Writing group?
Hi everyone! I'm trying to get back into cultivating the rewarding hobbies I used to have. During the pandemic/lockdown I got back into knitting and other fiber art, and now I'm interested in re-establishing a writing habit. I did a lot of creative (prose) writing in high school and undergrad and have really been missing it!
So, I'm wondering if there are any other formecurrent writers who would be interested in a very casual workshop-ish group? Ideally, I'd want to meet semi-regularly in person and give feedback/support to each other. I'm 31F and located on the near east side. I could also be interested in more virtual group to start and plans to meet up in the future?
I know there are probably many established groups already in Madison, but given that I haven't really written anything creatively in about 10 years, I'd be much more comfortable sharing and working with people in similar situations! If that's you, let me know!
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2023.03.31 18:43 ElegantGenius "The woman In the window"
PART 1 (THIS IS FAKE, DO NOT WORRY ABOUT IT BEING REAL) I was with my girlfriend at the park, There was a couple of apartment buildings near it. Me and my girlfriend were sitting on a bench and I felt like someone was staring at me, In my point of view there was a apartment building, There was a woman who lived there on the 3rd floor who always sat near her window. I never knew why, But i figured it was bad. I felt a bad presence, Like something was watching us. Next day, Me and my girlfriend go to the cinema. I felt that presence once again. I didnt do anything about it and just ignored it. Couple of weeks later, I was at home in bed, With my cat next to me under the covers, I was scrolling on tiktok and then i felt that presence once again. i thought that maybe i was just hungry, But no. When i finished eating i fed my cat some treats and got back in bed with him, While i was watching netflix he suddenly growled, He never growls unless someone he doesnt know pets him or tries to pick him up, My cat is very nice, He would never growl at me like that. Except that he was looking at the window. I was terrified. I didnt know what to do, So i just brushed it off and hugged him. Later that evening I decided to feed him so he isnt malnourished. But he didnt want to eat. I took him to the vet and they said there wasnt anything wrong with him.
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2023.03.31 18:42 MHA_5 Being imam as an ex-muslim
So basically, I used to be the most religious and knowledgeable about Islam in my circle and today we had a get together. The time for jummah came and there was no mosque near us so they asked me to lead the prayer... Ngl kinda felt nice cussing Momo and his shitty god as "imam" of 20ish people. Fuck this pedo worshipping cult, seriously. This was probably my first prayers in 2 months. Can't believe I used to do this weird ass ritual 5 to 6 times a day and still worried that sadistic Allola would burn me in Hellfire.
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2023.03.31 18:41 Leather-Ad-1707 Defy Trt patients questions
What is your guys dosage? Thinking about switching to them but I want to keep my dosage higher. Will they have a problem with me wanting to keep my dosage at 200mg a wk like my old clinic has me at.
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2023.03.31 18:40 BroadwayDancer AITA for not picking up stuff for my boyfriend and his roommate?
My bf is the most important person in my life. He makes me feel safe after years of being in relationships with physical, sexual and emotional abuse. But sometimes I feel like my only purpose is to do things for him and he would be upset at me if I didn’t do all those things. For example, I help grocery shop (sometimes go on my own sometimes go together) sometimes I help cover what he needs if he runs out of money (I’m unemployed up until recently) I pick out and make his meal prep for the few days a week he’s in office, etc. Last night while we were at a show for some friends we found out his roommate (a close friend of mine too)’s grandma got breast cancer. I felt horrible and I asked if I should pick up some cookies for him. My bf shrugged. He also asked if I could pick him up a vape from the shop near my house. The shop doesn’t open til 10 and I need to leave at 8:50 for hair school. So they weren’t open. And in all honesty, I forgot I mentioned getting the cookies last night. I came over to my bf’s and he asked about the vape and the cookies. I explained what happened and now he’s giving me the cold shoulder. Idk. With my history, I always have a hard time when someone’s mad at me. I’m trying not to make a big deal out of it and let him be upset. AITA??
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2023.03.31 18:38 Narrow_Muscle9572 The Lawn Killer - The Island
By the time I was sixteen Linda got my dad to send me off to what they thought was boarding school. In reality it was a compound where the Order of the Wren would begin training me so I could be a full-fledged member.
During this time D and I would talk on the phone a few times a week. Since the Order had me move around so often I had to be the one doing the calling. These conversations didn't last as long as I would have liked because there was no privacy in the hotel rooms we would frequently stay at.
By we, I mean the two experienced hunters I would have to learn from. Their names were Williams and King. Neither did much talking and I could tell they didn't like having me around. Not that I could blame them. I was inexperienced and they had better things to do than to hold my hand and explain things to me. That meant that when we had to go somewhere to slay some monstrosity, I would have to wait in the hotel we were staying at.
I was bored out of my mind most of the time when we were traveling the country but I would learn to love those dull moments soon enough.
Williams was alright even though he smelt like a chimney, but at least he was patient with me and kind. However, King was crazy, cynical and had an unhealthy obsession with explosives. I asked him about it once and he told me “In this line of work, some things are vulnerable to fire, monk root, silver and stuff, right? But in my experience nothing can survive when twenty pounds of homemade explosives go boom.”
The days passed slowly so I would kill time by sharpening rune covered blades that would hurt all sorts of monsters, making specialized ammo, documenting everything I thought was noteworthy so future generations of members could learn from us, reading, playing cards and waiting for Farsight to call.
I asked Williams about Farsight on a few occasions and he told me that they were high ranking members of the Order who essentially ran everything. Since they were a secretive bunch, who they were and how they knew where to send all the teams was a mystery.
Most people I spoke to said they thought the biggest clue on how Farsight operated was the history of the Order itself.
Learning about the Order was a top priority during my studies at the compound. The long and the short is: back in the day there were some nerds that saved a bunch of books and scrolls from a fire that was about to consume a library named after some guy named Alexander. Lots of these people died as a result of saving what they could and because of their sacrifice the Order knows how to dispose and kill monsters.
My studies were not limited to history either. Most of the time was spent doing military drills, however on a few occasions I got to try my hand at magic. That being said, magic welders are rare and I was not one of them.
The first time I ever saw any action we were waiting somewhere in Ohio when the phone rang.
King answered the phone, waited and responded with ‘yes’, ‘no’ and finally ‘understood’ before hanging up.
“What did they say?” asked Williams.
King sighed and shook his head. “We got a plane to catch,” King answered as he slapped his knees and stood up.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Alaska.”
“What's in Alaska?” Williams asked before I could.
“Farsight got wind of some town that went missing.”
“A town went missing?” I asked, pinching my eyebrows together in confusion.
“It happens,” King shrugged. “Roanoke, Waterway… Etcetera.”
“Waterway?” I asked. “Never heard of it.”
“That's because it disappeared,” Williams answered before turning to King. “Did Farsight tell you what was there?”
King gave him a look before returning to pack up his things. “Do they ever?”
Getting to our destination meant getting in three different single engine planes that all took off and landed on someone's field instead of an airport. Each of the planes were held together by duct tape and prayers. After that, we rode in a boat for an hour.
The island we were assigned to go to was small and covered with equal parts trees, brush and rocks. There weren't many houses and the nicest one of them was a doublewide trailer in poor condition.
“Where is everyone?” I asked as we made our way off the dock and onto land.
“I don't like this,” Williams added as he took out the HSD (Handheld Supernatural Detector. It sort of looked like half of a bike handle covered in copper wire, black electricians tape and at the end there are two antennas). “Nothing” Williams said after waving it around a little while.
“Keep it activated” King said, his shotgun at the ready as he led us through what passed as a town on this island.
“Maybe the signal is too weak” I suggested.
“Might be,” King responded. “Might not even be supernatural?”
“What else could it be?” I asked.
“Disease? Jobs disappearing” King answered.
“Doesn't look like there were lots of jobs here anyways” Williams pointed out, waving the HSD in different directions but not picking up anything. “Besides, Farsight isn't wrong about these things” he added as King led us to the first house and walked in.
“How many people lived here?” I asked.
“No more than thirty,” King answered.
We kept checking the houses, but time after time there were no clues to tell us what happened to the island's occupants. There were no signs of struggle, the clothes were still on the hangers and there was even food that sat around for so long that whatever it once was became mostly mold.
“So what's the plan?” I asked after reaching the last house before the forest started. I was hoping that they would say something that involved a hot shower. After the trip out here I felt that I could have used one.
Or two.
“It's going to get dark soon,” King answered, looking at the sunset. “And since we don't know what we are dealing with, we should find a place to stay for the night.”
“Where?” I asked.
“Churches are safer than most places” Williams suggested, pointing to a squat, square building.
The door was unlocked so we let ourselves in. The first thing King and Williams did was to see if we were alone. They checked the confessionals, the back office, the bathroom, under every pew and kept their eyes on the rafters.
King figured the safest part of the building was the back office, so we all went there. With the three of us it was cramped. I would have suggested staying in one of the houses, but it wouldn't have felt right sleeping in a strangers house when they were missing, besides, places of worship would provide safety. At least from some things.
On the desk that belonged to the priest was a newspaper and Williams picked it up to check the date. Something I would never have thought of doing, and saw that it was two months old.
“In a place like this, I wouldn't think they would get their news fresh off the press” King responded when Williams pointed this out.
“Still” Williams said. “That's a long time, even for way out here.”
When it came to claiming sleeping areas it was nearly impossible for all of us to be satisfied with the results. Not only was it crammed with all of us in the back office, but both men also suffered from night terrors.
By the time we all had our designated sleeping spots, Williams grumbled about being low on cigarettes and ordered me to run to the island's convenience store and “grab an armful.”
At first I protested, but they told me that since the island was abandoned it wasn't stealing.
It was my turn to grumble, but I did as I was told.
As I walked to the convenience store, I wondered how Farsight would react if they knew King and Williams sent me off by myself like this.
Pulling the door open to go inside, I was surprised to find that the store looked nearly the same as the one in Gray Hill. They had stuffed animals on the walls, pickled pig parts in glass jars, they even had the same off brand food items that I could never find anywhere other than home.
Excited, I raced to the cooler and found the same brand of ginger ale I loved so much. I sucked down one, feeling the carbonation reach up into my nose and burn like hell.
Once I loaded the rest of the bottles in my bag I went over to the counter and hopped over it to grab Williams his cigarettes.
After leaving the store I saw a truck parked out front of the church that wasn't there when I left. Feeling something was wrong I ducked behind a fence. Just in time too because a second later the door swung open and a group of people were dragging King and Williams to the truck.
The people seemed to be wearing the furs of all sorts of animals. From skunk to deer to bear and whatever else that lived on the island. At first I thought their faces were covered in dirt, however thanks to D’s alterations I could see that it was actually black rocks glistening in the dying light. Not only that but they were growing out of these people. One had a large piece coming straight up from behind his left collarbone, another had her face peppered with small rocks but the man who appeared to be their leader had one coming out of his eye socket.
King and Williams were shouting at the group, what they were saying I can’t repeat and if I cleaned it up it wouldn't be much of a sentence.
I stayed still and out of sight until the truck pulled away. Since I was only armed with the buck knife I kept on my belt at all times I wouldn’t be much help. Even less so if I was caught by whoever took the more experienced monster hunters.
As soon as the truck was out of sight I ran into the church to grab the weapons we brought with us. Both shotguns that were filled with special shells we made ourselves and our rune covered machetes.
Just as I was about to leave I remembered the backpack filled with explosives. When I scooped that up I took off in the direction I last saw the truck going.
I ran for about two miles before finally finding the truck which was parked in the middle of nowhere on the side of the road. Most of the journey was uphill, however thanks to what D did to me I had plenty of energy to spare.
It didn't take long for me to see that there were tracks that led into the woods and without thinking about it, I followed them. King and Williams needed my help.
The tracks were easy to follow considering there were six people plus King and Williams who were struggling with their abductors.
I had been tracking these people for fifteen or twenty minutes by the time I came across a rocky hill, and since rocks don't leave tracks, I thought I lost them. However, just then I saw a small cave entrance. Figuring that was where King and Williams were taken, I hustled up the hill to investigate, making sure I kept low and quiet.
When I got in the cave I thought my eyes would adjust, however it didn't. Inside was completely dark and there was no sound other than my own breathing and footfalls. I would come to learn later than caves are like that. Completely dark so even my eyes couldn't adjust and they muffle sounds.
After a short time of navigating down a narrow passageway by dragging my hand on the wall I saw a faint orange glow and slowly walked towards it, careful not to make any sound. As I drew closer, I heard a group of people chanting in a strange language that almost sounded like angry small dogs.
A few stalagmites and stalactites separated the passageway I was on from a large open area with small bonfires scattered around. The people who took King and Williams were circling a large black monolith that sat in the middle of the room and they seemed to be praying to it. To me the monolith resembled the rocks that grew out of the people.
“I’mma kill you” shouted a familiar voice about ten feet below where I stood. It was King. Both he and Williams had their hands tied behind them, around a rock. “Stem to stern, you hear that? You hear that?!”
As King was shouting, I figured I would have less of a chance at getting caught if I climbed down the steep cave wall instead of following the path. Thankfully I managed to get to them without making a sound that Kings yelling didn't muffle.
D made me a borderline superhero, and superheroes save people. So even though my heart was jumping out of my chest, that didn't stop me from doing what I had to do.
“Shh” I whispered to Williams as I put the handle of my knife in his still bound hand. “I’m leaving the bag of explosives behind you. The shotguns and your machete too.”
Williams didn't make a sound, but he nodded and started to cut the ropes.
King was still shouting to his abductors, masking my voice as I told Williams that I was going to buy them time by serving as a distraction.
Without waiting for a nod, I went back the way I came and started climbing. I was sure I was going to get caught when I caused a few rocks to fall, but then Williams started to yell, joining King to mask the sound.
After reaching the passageway I came from, I turned around to see Williams give me a slight nod. Then I shouted for everyone to hear.
“Your mom shaves her chest and you—”
I didn't get any further than that because the people hissed and ran towards me. Some climbed the wall I just did while others ran down the path I chose not to take in order to reach the two more experienced hunters.
Seeing how fast they were moving made me regret not thinking past this part of the plan.
I ran as fast as I could down the dark and narrow path I entered from. The entire time I could hear them behind me and I imagined that they were getting closer.
As soon as I got outside, it was dark and I made a split second decision to run to the coast. This would make it look like I was trying to get to a boat instead of buying the more experienced monster hunters some time. However every time I tried to head towards the beach a few of my pursuers would be in my way, forcing me to change course.
After what D did to me I was fast, not Olympic speed but it was safe to say I was faster than everyone I knew. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw that these people were keeping pace with me. If it was just one of them, I wouldn't have given it much thought, but all of them were. Even the fat and the old ones.
I tried coming up with answers that might help my chances if I had to fight these people, or should I say what these people became? The rocks gave them enhanced strength and speed, but other than that the clues I had were minimal. The rocks could have been anything from viral, extraterrestrial, interdimensional or even parasitic.
However it was safe to say that even if it was parasitic it was not demonic. If it was, the HSD would’ve picked it up.
If I knew what language these people were speaking, that would narrow the possibilities that much further.
I must have been running for about ten minutes before I realized three things at once. The first thing was these people were much faster than they were letting on and were just toying with me. The second was that I was being herded back to the cave and the third was that I was going to have to stop running and fight.
As soon as I stopped running, I pulled the machete out from its sheath and turned to face those who meant me harm.
They surrounded me like a pack of wolves, and like a pack of wolves they snapped their jaws and made sounds that reminded me of a group of angry tiny dogs barking. These people also attacked like wolves too because the ones behind me would be doing the attacking.
The first one tried to jump onto my shoulders but before she could wrap her arms and legs around me I quickly turned around and used her momentum to throw her into the others. Immediately another lept towards me and was met with a front kick, connecting right below the belly button.
That was when the third one, the one with the rock growing out of his eye, bit my hand.
I don't know who was more surprised, me because I was bit, or him because it cracked his teeth.
I recovered from the shock before he did and raised the machete up to cut off his head.
As I swung he lifted up his hand to block it. Even though I didn't take his head, I still managed to take his hand and half of his forearm.
If he felt pain he sure hid it well.
He swiped at me with his other hand and I leaned back to dodge it. He was fast though and managed to rake my cheek with his nails.
Before I could swing my weapon again, another jumped on my back and put me in a choke hold. The grip was tight and as I tried to free myself the others tackled me. Thankfully this loosened the grip around my neck. However I was on my back and the others were closing in.
I kicked one of my attackers in the knee so it broke and went backwards. This person didn't make a sound and I doubt they felt it.
One of them kicked me in the face and even though it didn't knock me out, it hurt like hell and made me see stars.
I swung my machete in a wide half circle, managing to open the belly of another.
That bought me some room but as I tried to stand up two more jumped on my back and took me to the ground. The rest all piled on top of me, snapping at me while growling and nipping at each other to get out of the way so they could get to me.
I really thought this was going to be how I was going to die, however just then all of them went limp and fell.
A fraction of a second later I heard an explosion coming from the cave.
As I layed there, in the bottom of the pile of bodies, it felt like my heart was going to explode. I was so close to dying, but I prevailed.
I won.
I let out a warcry that Otis would have been proud of and pushed the bodies off of me.
Standing up, I gave one of my attackers a kick for good measure. However it was like kicking a dried up hornets nest and the toe of my boot went right through. The only part that wasn’t brittle was the rocks that grew out of them.
Wiping my boots off in the grass, I heard shouting on the other side of the hill. As soon as I heard this I knew it was Williams and King and ran towards them, a large grin on my face.
“Hey” I yelled out happily when I saw them, but they didn’t seem to hear me and were yelling at each other. Not because they were angry, but because the explosion made them momentarily deaf.
“What?” King asked as he rubbed his ears.
“You’re an idiot,” Williams shouted.
“I can’t hear you,” King complained, pointing at his ears.
“Are you two okay?” I asked as I jogged closer to them.
Williams saw me in the corner of his eye and jumped. When he saw it was me a grin spread on his face. “Hey, you’re alive.”
“Of course I am.”
“What?” King shouted before turning around and seeing me.
“You saved us” Williams answered as he used his pinkie finger to rub deep in his ear.
“Damn,” King said as he took my chin in hand and turned my head to get a look at my face.
“It was nothing,” I answered.
With a closer inspection of my nose, King sucked air through his teeth. “Could've been worse, I guess.”
“It’s true what they said about you,” Williams yelled. “The Order is going to hear of this.”
“Hear of—-“ I started, nervously. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Wrong?” Williams asked loudly, his ears were still ringing.
“What are you saying?” King shouted.
“Did I do something wrong?” I asked, louder than before.
Williams and King looked at each other for a moment and there was a fleeting mischievous expression that came over their faces.
“Where's my cigarettes?” Williams asked sternly.
I didn't know what to say to this and stammered.
A smile grew on William's face and he walked past me. “Just playing with you, kid. Just playing with you.”
“You did good,” King said, placing his hand on my shoulder. “I think Farsight was right about you.”
“Right about me?” I asked. “What do you mean?”
King smiled. “You remember the first day of training?”
I nodded because dozens of kids jogged in formation for miles at five in the morning, sparring with blunt weapons, performing military drills, eating in the mess hall during mealtimes and sleeping in one of the bunkhouses that were hidden in the woods wasn't something I was likely to forget. “Why?”
“You remember that little test they gave you?”
I nodded. All of the questions involved how to dispose of one monster or another. Most of the monsters I never heard of, but as I filled the questionnaire out I remembered Otis’ wise words during my time mowing the lawn at Miss Luther's house: Gotta hit them with your bullets.
This was what I used to answer all the questions.
“Yeah, what about it?”
King squeezed my shoulder and his smile grew. “The Order was impressed and I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but… they think you're going to save the world.”
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2023.03.31 18:38 Narrow_Muscle9572 The Lawn Killer - The Island
By the time I was sixteen Linda got my dad to send me off to what they thought was boarding school. In reality it was a compound where the Order of the Wren would begin training me so I could be a full-fledged member.
During this time D and I would talk on the phone a few times a week. Since the Order had me move around so often I had to be the one doing the calling. These conversations didn't last as long as I would have liked because there was no privacy in the hotel rooms we would frequently stay at.
By we, I mean the two experienced hunters I would have to learn from. Their names were Williams and King. Neither did much talking and I could tell they didn't like having me around. Not that I could blame them. I was inexperienced and they had better things to do than to hold my hand and explain things to me. That meant that when we had to go somewhere to slay some monstrosity, I would have to wait in the hotel we were staying at.
I was bored out of my mind most of the time when we were traveling the country but I would learn to love those dull moments soon enough.
Williams was alright even though he smelt like a chimney, but at least he was patient with me and kind. However, King was crazy, cynical and had an unhealthy obsession with explosives. I asked him about it once and he told me “In this line of work, some things are vulnerable to fire, monk root, silver and stuff, right? But in my experience nothing can survive when twenty pounds of homemade explosives go boom.”
The days passed slowly so I would kill time by sharpening rune covered blades that would hurt all sorts of monsters, making specialized ammo, documenting everything I thought was noteworthy so future generations of members could learn from us, reading, playing cards and waiting for Farsight to call.
I asked Williams about Farsight on a few occasions and he told me that they were high ranking members of the Order who essentially ran everything. Since they were a secretive bunch, who they were and how they knew where to send all the teams was a mystery.
Most people I spoke to said they thought the biggest clue on how Farsight operated was the history of the Order itself.
Learning about the Order was a top priority during my studies at the compound. The long and the short is: back in the day there were some nerds that saved a bunch of books and scrolls from a fire that was about to consume a library named after some guy named Alexander. Lots of these people died as a result of saving what they could and because of their sacrifice the Order knows how to dispose and kill monsters.
My studies were not limited to history either. Most of the time was spent doing military drills, however on a few occasions I got to try my hand at magic. That being said, magic welders are rare and I was not one of them.
The first time I ever saw any action we were waiting somewhere in Ohio when the phone rang.
King answered the phone, waited and responded with ‘yes’, ‘no’ and finally ‘understood’ before hanging up.
“What did they say?” asked Williams.
King sighed and shook his head. “We got a plane to catch,” King answered as he slapped his knees and stood up.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Alaska.”
“What's in Alaska?” Williams asked before I could.
“Farsight got wind of some town that went missing.”
“A town went missing?” I asked, pinching my eyebrows together in confusion.
“It happens,” King shrugged. “Roanoke, Waterway… Etcetera.”
“Waterway?” I asked. “Never heard of it.”
“That's because it disappeared,” Williams answered before turning to King. “Did Farsight tell you what was there?”
King gave him a look before returning to pack up his things. “Do they ever?”
Getting to our destination meant getting in three different single engine planes that all took off and landed on someone's field instead of an airport. Each of the planes were held together by duct tape and prayers. After that, we rode in a boat for an hour.
The island we were assigned to go to was small and covered with equal parts trees, brush and rocks. There weren't many houses and the nicest one of them was a doublewide trailer in poor condition.
“Where is everyone?” I asked as we made our way off the dock and onto land.
“I don't like this,” Williams added as he took out the HSD (Handheld Supernatural Detector. It sort of looked like half of a bike handle covered in copper wire, black electricians tape and at the end there are two antennas). “Nothing” Williams said after waving it around a little while.
“Keep it activated” King said, his shotgun at the ready as he led us through what passed as a town on this island.
“Maybe the signal is too weak” I suggested.
“Might be,” King responded. “Might not even be supernatural?”
“What else could it be?” I asked.
“Disease? Jobs disappearing” King answered.
“Doesn't look like there were lots of jobs here anyways” Williams pointed out, waving the HSD in different directions but not picking up anything. “Besides, Farsight isn't wrong about these things” he added as King led us to the first house and walked in.
“How many people lived here?” I asked.
“No more than thirty,” King answered.
We kept checking the houses, but time after time there were no clues to tell us what happened to the island's occupants. There were no signs of struggle, the clothes were still on the hangers and there was even food that sat around for so long that whatever it once was became mostly mold.
“So what's the plan?” I asked after reaching the last house before the forest started. I was hoping that they would say something that involved a hot shower. After the trip out here I felt that I could have used one.
Or two.
“It's going to get dark soon,” King answered, looking at the sunset. “And since we don't know what we are dealing with, we should find a place to stay for the night.”
“Where?” I asked.
“Churches are safer than most places” Williams suggested, pointing to a squat, square building.
The door was unlocked so we let ourselves in. The first thing King and Williams did was to see if we were alone. They checked the confessionals, the back office, the bathroom, under every pew and kept their eyes on the rafters.
King figured the safest part of the building was the back office, so we all went there. With the three of us it was cramped. I would have suggested staying in one of the houses, but it wouldn't have felt right sleeping in a strangers house when they were missing, besides, places of worship would provide safety. At least from some things.
On the desk that belonged to the priest was a newspaper and Williams picked it up to check the date. Something I would never have thought of doing, and saw that it was two months old.
“In a place like this, I wouldn't think they would get their news fresh off the press” King responded when Williams pointed this out.
“Still” Williams said. “That's a long time, even for way out here.”
When it came to claiming sleeping areas it was nearly impossible for all of us to be satisfied with the results. Not only was it crammed with all of us in the back office, but both men also suffered from night terrors.
By the time we all had our designated sleeping spots, Williams grumbled about being low on cigarettes and ordered me to run to the island's convenience store and “grab an armful.”
At first I protested, but they told me that since the island was abandoned it wasn't stealing.
It was my turn to grumble, but I did as I was told.
As I walked to the convenience store, I wondered how Farsight would react if they knew King and Williams sent me off by myself like this.
Pulling the door open to go inside, I was surprised to find that the store looked nearly the same as the one in Gray Hill. They had stuffed animals on the walls, pickled pig parts in glass jars, they even had the same off brand food items that I could never find anywhere other than home.
Excited, I raced to the cooler and found the same brand of ginger ale I loved so much. I sucked down one, feeling the carbonation reach up into my nose and burn like hell.
Once I loaded the rest of the bottles in my bag I went over to the counter and hopped over it to grab Williams his cigarettes.
After leaving the store I saw a truck parked out front of the church that wasn't there when I left. Feeling something was wrong I ducked behind a fence. Just in time too because a second later the door swung open and a group of people were dragging King and Williams to the truck.
The people seemed to be wearing the furs of all sorts of animals. From skunk to deer to bear and whatever else that lived on the island. At first I thought their faces were covered in dirt, however thanks to D’s alterations I could see that it was actually black rocks glistening in the dying light. Not only that but they were growing out of these people. One had a large piece coming straight up from behind his left collarbone, another had her face peppered with small rocks but the man who appeared to be their leader had one coming out of his eye socket.
King and Williams were shouting at the group, what they were saying I can’t repeat and if I cleaned it up it wouldn't be much of a sentence.
I stayed still and out of sight until the truck pulled away. Since I was only armed with the buck knife I kept on my belt at all times I wouldn’t be much help. Even less so if I was caught by whoever took the more experienced monster hunters.
As soon as the truck was out of sight I ran into the church to grab the weapons we brought with us. Both shotguns that were filled with special shells we made ourselves and our rune covered machetes.
Just as I was about to leave I remembered the backpack filled with explosives. When I scooped that up I took off in the direction I last saw the truck going.
I ran for about two miles before finally finding the truck which was parked in the middle of nowhere on the side of the road. Most of the journey was uphill, however thanks to what D did to me I had plenty of energy to spare.
It didn't take long for me to see that there were tracks that led into the woods and without thinking about it, I followed them. King and Williams needed my help.
The tracks were easy to follow considering there were six people plus King and Williams who were struggling with their abductors.
I had been tracking these people for fifteen or twenty minutes by the time I came across a rocky hill, and since rocks don't leave tracks, I thought I lost them. However, just then I saw a small cave entrance. Figuring that was where King and Williams were taken, I hustled up the hill to investigate, making sure I kept low and quiet.
When I got in the cave I thought my eyes would adjust, however it didn't. Inside was completely dark and there was no sound other than my own breathing and footfalls. I would come to learn later than caves are like that. Completely dark so even my eyes couldn't adjust and they muffle sounds.
After a short time of navigating down a narrow passageway by dragging my hand on the wall I saw a faint orange glow and slowly walked towards it, careful not to make any sound. As I drew closer, I heard a group of people chanting in a strange language that almost sounded like angry small dogs.
A few stalagmites and stalactites separated the passageway I was on from a large open area with small bonfires scattered around. The people who took King and Williams were circling a large black monolith that sat in the middle of the room and they seemed to be praying to it. To me the monolith resembled the rocks that grew out of the people.
“I’mma kill you” shouted a familiar voice about ten feet below where I stood. It was King. Both he and Williams had their hands tied behind them, around a rock. “Stem to stern, you hear that? You hear that?!”
As King was shouting, I figured I would have less of a chance at getting caught if I climbed down the steep cave wall instead of following the path. Thankfully I managed to get to them without making a sound that Kings yelling didn't muffle.
D made me a borderline superhero, and superheroes save people. So even though my heart was jumping out of my chest, that didn't stop me from doing what I had to do.
“Shh” I whispered to Williams as I put the handle of my knife in his still bound hand. “I’m leaving the bag of explosives behind you. The shotguns and your machete too.”
Williams didn't make a sound, but he nodded and started to cut the ropes.
King was still shouting to his abductors, masking my voice as I told Williams that I was going to buy them time by serving as a distraction.
Without waiting for a nod, I went back the way I came and started climbing. I was sure I was going to get caught when I caused a few rocks to fall, but then Williams started to yell, joining King to mask the sound.
After reaching the passageway I came from, I turned around to see Williams give me a slight nod. Then I shouted for everyone to hear.
“Your mom shaves her chest and you—”
I didn't get any further than that because the people hissed and ran towards me. Some climbed the wall I just did while others ran down the path I chose not to take in order to reach the two more experienced hunters.
Seeing how fast they were moving made me regret not thinking past this part of the plan.
I ran as fast as I could down the dark and narrow path I entered from. The entire time I could hear them behind me and I imagined that they were getting closer.
As soon as I got outside, it was dark and I made a split second decision to run to the coast. This would make it look like I was trying to get to a boat instead of buying the more experienced monster hunters some time. However every time I tried to head towards the beach a few of my pursuers would be in my way, forcing me to change course.
After what D did to me I was fast, not Olympic speed but it was safe to say I was faster than everyone I knew. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw that these people were keeping pace with me. If it was just one of them, I wouldn't have given it much thought, but all of them were. Even the fat and the old ones.
I tried coming up with answers that might help my chances if I had to fight these people, or should I say what these people became? The rocks gave them enhanced strength and speed, but other than that the clues I had were minimal. The rocks could have been anything from viral, extraterrestrial, interdimensional or even parasitic.
However it was safe to say that even if it was parasitic it was not demonic. If it was, the HSD would’ve picked it up.
If I knew what language these people were speaking, that would narrow the possibilities that much further.
I must have been running for about ten minutes before I realized three things at once. The first thing was these people were much faster than they were letting on and were just toying with me. The second was that I was being herded back to the cave and the third was that I was going to have to stop running and fight.
As soon as I stopped running, I pulled the machete out from its sheath and turned to face those who meant me harm.
They surrounded me like a pack of wolves, and like a pack of wolves they snapped their jaws and made sounds that reminded me of a group of angry tiny dogs barking. These people also attacked like wolves too because the ones behind me would be doing the attacking.
The first one tried to jump onto my shoulders but before she could wrap her arms and legs around me I quickly turned around and used her momentum to throw her into the others. Immediately another lept towards me and was met with a front kick, connecting right below the belly button.
That was when the third one, the one with the rock growing out of his eye, bit my hand.
I don't know who was more surprised, me because I was bit, or him because it cracked his teeth.
I recovered from the shock before he did and raised the machete up to cut off his head.
As I swung he lifted up his hand to block it. Even though I didn't take his head, I still managed to take his hand and half of his forearm.
If he felt pain he sure hid it well.
He swiped at me with his other hand and I leaned back to dodge it. He was fast though and managed to rake my cheek with his nails.
Before I could swing my weapon again, another jumped on my back and put me in a choke hold. The grip was tight and as I tried to free myself the others tackled me. Thankfully this loosened the grip around my neck. However I was on my back and the others were closing in.
I kicked one of my attackers in the knee so it broke and went backwards. This person didn't make a sound and I doubt they felt it.
One of them kicked me in the face and even though it didn't knock me out, it hurt like hell and made me see stars.
I swung my machete in a wide half circle, managing to open the belly of another.
That bought me some room but as I tried to stand up two more jumped on my back and took me to the ground. The rest all piled on top of me, snapping at me while growling and nipping at each other to get out of the way so they could get to me.
I really thought this was going to be how I was going to die, however just then all of them went limp and fell.
A fraction of a second later I heard an explosion coming from the cave.
As I layed there, in the bottom of the pile of bodies, it felt like my heart was going to explode. I was so close to dying, but I prevailed.
I won.
I let out a warcry that Otis would have been proud of and pushed the bodies off of me.
Standing up, I gave one of my attackers a kick for good measure. However it was like kicking a dried up hornets nest and the toe of my boot went right through. The only part that wasn’t brittle was the rocks that grew out of them.
Wiping my boots off in the grass, I heard shouting on the other side of the hill. As soon as I heard this I knew it was Williams and King and ran towards them, a large grin on my face.
“Hey” I yelled out happily when I saw them, but they didn’t seem to hear me and were yelling at each other. Not because they were angry, but because the explosion made them momentarily deaf.
“What?” King asked as he rubbed his ears.
“You’re an idiot,” Williams shouted.
“I can’t hear you,” King complained, pointing at his ears.
“Are you two okay?” I asked as I jogged closer to them.
Williams saw me in the corner of his eye and jumped. When he saw it was me a grin spread on his face. “Hey, you’re alive.”
“Of course I am.”
“What?” King shouted before turning around and seeing me.
“You saved us” Williams answered as he used his pinkie finger to rub deep in his ear.
“Damn,” King said as he took my chin in hand and turned my head to get a look at my face.
“It was nothing,” I answered.
With a closer inspection of my nose, King sucked air through his teeth. “Could've been worse, I guess.”
“It’s true what they said about you,” Williams yelled. “The Order is going to hear of this.”
“Hear of—-“ I started, nervously. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Wrong?” Williams asked loudly, his ears were still ringing.
“What are you saying?” King shouted.
“Did I do something wrong?” I asked, louder than before.
Williams and King looked at each other for a moment and there was a fleeting mischievous expression that came over their faces.
“Where's my cigarettes?” Williams asked sternly.
I didn't know what to say to this and stammered.
A smile grew on William's face and he walked past me. “Just playing with you, kid. Just playing with you.”
“You did good,” King said, placing his hand on my shoulder. “I think Farsight was right about you.”
“Right about me?” I asked. “What do you mean?”
King smiled. “You remember the first day of training?”
I nodded because dozens of kids jogged in formation for miles at five in the morning, sparring with blunt weapons, performing military drills, eating in the mess hall during mealtimes and sleeping in one of the bunkhouses that were hidden in the woods wasn't something I was likely to forget. “Why?”
“You remember that little test they gave you?”
I nodded. All of the questions involved how to dispose of one monster or another. Most of the monsters I never heard of, but as I filled the questionnaire out I remembered Otis’ wise words during my time mowing the lawn at Miss Luther's house: Gotta hit them with your bullets.
This was what I used to answer all the questions.
“Yeah, what about it?”
King squeezed my shoulder and his smile grew. “The Order was impressed and I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but… they think you're going to save the world.”
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2023.03.31 18:37 Eleventeene Past medical history
So im applying for medical cannabis for my chronic back pain and I meet all the eligibility criteria only thing is my past medical history 5 years ago I was suffering from depression due to grief from a loss of a friend and I also self harmed only once but I have since recovered from this period and no longer suffer from a depressive disorder would this make me be rejected from medical cannabis clinics?
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2023.03.31 18:37 Narrow_Muscle9572 The Lawn Killer - The Island
By the time I was sixteen Linda got my dad to send me off to what they thought was boarding school. In reality it was a compound where the Order of the Wren would begin training me so I could be a full-fledged member.
During this time D and I would talk on the phone a few times a week. Since the Order had me move around so often I had to be the one doing the calling. These conversations didn't last as long as I would have liked because there was no privacy in the hotel rooms we would frequently stay at.
By we, I mean the two experienced hunters I would have to learn from. Their names were Williams and King. Neither did much talking and I could tell they didn't like having me around. Not that I could blame them. I was inexperienced and they had better things to do than to hold my hand and explain things to me. That meant that when we had to go somewhere to slay some monstrosity, I would have to wait in the hotel we were staying at.
I was bored out of my mind most of the time when we were traveling the country but I would learn to love those dull moments soon enough.
Williams was alright even though he smelt like a chimney, but at least he was patient with me and kind. However, King was crazy, cynical and had an unhealthy obsession with explosives. I asked him about it once and he told me “In this line of work, some things are vulnerable to fire, monk root, silver and stuff, right? But in my experience nothing can survive when twenty pounds of homemade explosives go boom.”
The days passed slowly so I would kill time by sharpening rune covered blades that would hurt all sorts of monsters, making specialized ammo, documenting everything I thought was noteworthy so future generations of members could learn from us, reading, playing cards and waiting for Farsight to call.
I asked Williams about Farsight on a few occasions and he told me that they were high ranking members of the Order who essentially ran everything. Since they were a secretive bunch, who they were and how they knew where to send all the teams was a mystery.
Most people I spoke to said they thought the biggest clue on how Farsight operated was the history of the Order itself.
Learning about the Order was a top priority during my studies at the compound. The long and the short is: back in the day there were some nerds that saved a bunch of books and scrolls from a fire that was about to consume a library named after some guy named Alexander. Lots of these people died as a result of saving what they could and because of their sacrifice the Order knows how to dispose and kill monsters.
My studies were not limited to history either. Most of the time was spent doing military drills, however on a few occasions I got to try my hand at magic. That being said, magic welders are rare and I was not one of them.
The first time I ever saw any action we were waiting somewhere in Ohio when the phone rang.
King answered the phone, waited and responded with ‘yes’, ‘no’ and finally ‘understood’ before hanging up.
“What did they say?” asked Williams.
King sighed and shook his head. “We got a plane to catch,” King answered as he slapped his knees and stood up.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Alaska.”
“What's in Alaska?” Williams asked before I could.
“Farsight got wind of some town that went missing.”
“A town went missing?” I asked, pinching my eyebrows together in confusion.
“It happens,” King shrugged. “Roanoke, Waterway… Etcetera.”
“Waterway?” I asked. “Never heard of it.”
“That's because it disappeared,” Williams answered before turning to King. “Did Farsight tell you what was there?”
King gave him a look before returning to pack up his things. “Do they ever?”
Getting to our destination meant getting in three different single engine planes that all took off and landed on someone's field instead of an airport. Each of the planes were held together by duct tape and prayers. After that, we rode in a boat for an hour.
The island we were assigned to go to was small and covered with equal parts trees, brush and rocks. There weren't many houses and the nicest one of them was a doublewide trailer in poor condition.
“Where is everyone?” I asked as we made our way off the dock and onto land.
“I don't like this,” Williams added as he took out the HSD (Handheld Supernatural Detector. It sort of looked like half of a bike handle covered in copper wire, black electricians tape and at the end there are two antennas). “Nothing” Williams said after waving it around a little while.
“Keep it activated” King said, his shotgun at the ready as he led us through what passed as a town on this island.
“Maybe the signal is too weak” I suggested.
“Might be,” King responded. “Might not even be supernatural?”
“What else could it be?” I asked.
“Disease? Jobs disappearing” King answered.
“Doesn't look like there were lots of jobs here anyways” Williams pointed out, waving the HSD in different directions but not picking up anything. “Besides, Farsight isn't wrong about these things” he added as King led us to the first house and walked in.
“How many people lived here?” I asked.
“No more than thirty,” King answered.
We kept checking the houses, but time after time there were no clues to tell us what happened to the island's occupants. There were no signs of struggle, the clothes were still on the hangers and there was even food that sat around for so long that whatever it once was became mostly mold.
“So what's the plan?” I asked after reaching the last house before the forest started. I was hoping that they would say something that involved a hot shower. After the trip out here I felt that I could have used one.
Or two.
“It's going to get dark soon,” King answered, looking at the sunset. “And since we don't know what we are dealing with, we should find a place to stay for the night.”
“Where?” I asked.
“Churches are safer than most places” Williams suggested, pointing to a squat, square building.
The door was unlocked so we let ourselves in. The first thing King and Williams did was to see if we were alone. They checked the confessionals, the back office, the bathroom, under every pew and kept their eyes on the rafters.
King figured the safest part of the building was the back office, so we all went there. With the three of us it was cramped. I would have suggested staying in one of the houses, but it wouldn't have felt right sleeping in a strangers house when they were missing, besides, places of worship would provide safety. At least from some things.
On the desk that belonged to the priest was a newspaper and Williams picked it up to check the date. Something I would never have thought of doing, and saw that it was two months old.
“In a place like this, I wouldn't think they would get their news fresh off the press” King responded when Williams pointed this out.
“Still” Williams said. “That's a long time, even for way out here.”
When it came to claiming sleeping areas it was nearly impossible for all of us to be satisfied with the results. Not only was it crammed with all of us in the back office, but both men also suffered from night terrors.
By the time we all had our designated sleeping spots, Williams grumbled about being low on cigarettes and ordered me to run to the island's convenience store and “grab an armful.”
At first I protested, but they told me that since the island was abandoned it wasn't stealing.
It was my turn to grumble, but I did as I was told.
As I walked to the convenience store, I wondered how Farsight would react if they knew King and Williams sent me off by myself like this.
Pulling the door open to go inside, I was surprised to find that the store looked nearly the same as the one in Gray Hill. They had stuffed animals on the walls, pickled pig parts in glass jars, they even had the same off brand food items that I could never find anywhere other than home.
Excited, I raced to the cooler and found the same brand of ginger ale I loved so much. I sucked down one, feeling the carbonation reach up into my nose and burn like hell.
Once I loaded the rest of the bottles in my bag I went over to the counter and hopped over it to grab Williams his cigarettes.
After leaving the store I saw a truck parked out front of the church that wasn't there when I left. Feeling something was wrong I ducked behind a fence. Just in time too because a second later the door swung open and a group of people were dragging King and Williams to the truck.
The people seemed to be wearing the furs of all sorts of animals. From skunk to deer to bear and whatever else that lived on the island. At first I thought their faces were covered in dirt, however thanks to D’s alterations I could see that it was actually black rocks glistening in the dying light. Not only that but they were growing out of these people. One had a large piece coming straight up from behind his left collarbone, another had her face peppered with small rocks but the man who appeared to be their leader had one coming out of his eye socket.
King and Williams were shouting at the group, what they were saying I can’t repeat and if I cleaned it up it wouldn't be much of a sentence.
I stayed still and out of sight until the truck pulled away. Since I was only armed with the buck knife I kept on my belt at all times I wouldn’t be much help. Even less so if I was caught by whoever took the more experienced monster hunters.
As soon as the truck was out of sight I ran into the church to grab the weapons we brought with us. Both shotguns that were filled with special shells we made ourselves and our rune covered machetes.
Just as I was about to leave I remembered the backpack filled with explosives. When I scooped that up I took off in the direction I last saw the truck going.
I ran for about two miles before finally finding the truck which was parked in the middle of nowhere on the side of the road. Most of the journey was uphill, however thanks to what D did to me I had plenty of energy to spare.
It didn't take long for me to see that there were tracks that led into the woods and without thinking about it, I followed them. King and Williams needed my help.
The tracks were easy to follow considering there were six people plus King and Williams who were struggling with their abductors.
I had been tracking these people for fifteen or twenty minutes by the time I came across a rocky hill, and since rocks don't leave tracks, I thought I lost them. However, just then I saw a small cave entrance. Figuring that was where King and Williams were taken, I hustled up the hill to investigate, making sure I kept low and quiet.
When I got in the cave I thought my eyes would adjust, however it didn't. Inside was completely dark and there was no sound other than my own breathing and footfalls. I would come to learn later than caves are like that. Completely dark so even my eyes couldn't adjust and they muffle sounds.
After a short time of navigating down a narrow passageway by dragging my hand on the wall I saw a faint orange glow and slowly walked towards it, careful not to make any sound. As I drew closer, I heard a group of people chanting in a strange language that almost sounded like angry small dogs.
A few stalagmites and stalactites separated the passageway I was on from a large open area with small bonfires scattered around. The people who took King and Williams were circling a large black monolith that sat in the middle of the room and they seemed to be praying to it. To me the monolith resembled the rocks that grew out of the people.
“I’mma kill you” shouted a familiar voice about ten feet below where I stood. It was King. Both he and Williams had their hands tied behind them, around a rock. “Stem to stern, you hear that? You hear that?!”
As King was shouting, I figured I would have less of a chance at getting caught if I climbed down the steep cave wall instead of following the path. Thankfully I managed to get to them without making a sound that Kings yelling didn't muffle.
D made me a borderline superhero, and superheroes save people. So even though my heart was jumping out of my chest, that didn't stop me from doing what I had to do.
“Shh” I whispered to Williams as I put the handle of my knife in his still bound hand. “I’m leaving the bag of explosives behind you. The shotguns and your machete too.”
Williams didn't make a sound, but he nodded and started to cut the ropes.
King was still shouting to his abductors, masking my voice as I told Williams that I was going to buy them time by serving as a distraction.
Without waiting for a nod, I went back the way I came and started climbing. I was sure I was going to get caught when I caused a few rocks to fall, but then Williams started to yell, joining King to mask the sound.
After reaching the passageway I came from, I turned around to see Williams give me a slight nod. Then I shouted for everyone to hear.
“Your mom shaves her chest and you—”
I didn't get any further than that because the people hissed and ran towards me. Some climbed the wall I just did while others ran down the path I chose not to take in order to reach the two more experienced hunters.
Seeing how fast they were moving made me regret not thinking past this part of the plan.
I ran as fast as I could down the dark and narrow path I entered from. The entire time I could hear them behind me and I imagined that they were getting closer.
As soon as I got outside, it was dark and I made a split second decision to run to the coast. This would make it look like I was trying to get to a boat instead of buying the more experienced monster hunters some time. However every time I tried to head towards the beach a few of my pursuers would be in my way, forcing me to change course.
After what D did to me I was fast, not Olympic speed but it was safe to say I was faster than everyone I knew. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw that these people were keeping pace with me. If it was just one of them, I wouldn't have given it much thought, but all of them were. Even the fat and the old ones.
I tried coming up with answers that might help my chances if I had to fight these people, or should I say what these people became? The rocks gave them enhanced strength and speed, but other than that the clues I had were minimal. The rocks could have been anything from viral, extraterrestrial, interdimensional or even parasitic.
However it was safe to say that even if it was parasitic it was not demonic. If it was, the HSD would’ve picked it up.
If I knew what language these people were speaking, that would narrow the possibilities that much further.
I must have been running for about ten minutes before I realized three things at once. The first thing was these people were much faster than they were letting on and were just toying with me. The second was that I was being herded back to the cave and the third was that I was going to have to stop running and fight.
As soon as I stopped running, I pulled the machete out from its sheath and turned to face those who meant me harm.
They surrounded me like a pack of wolves, and like a pack of wolves they snapped their jaws and made sounds that reminded me of a group of angry tiny dogs barking. These people also attacked like wolves too because the ones behind me would be doing the attacking.
The first one tried to jump onto my shoulders but before she could wrap her arms and legs around me I quickly turned around and used her momentum to throw her into the others. Immediately another lept towards me and was met with a front kick, connecting right below the belly button.
That was when the third one, the one with the rock growing out of his eye, bit my hand.
I don't know who was more surprised, me because I was bit, or him because it cracked his teeth.
I recovered from the shock before he did and raised the machete up to cut off his head.
As I swung he lifted up his hand to block it. Even though I didn't take his head, I still managed to take his hand and half of his forearm.
If he felt pain he sure hid it well.
He swiped at me with his other hand and I leaned back to dodge it. He was fast though and managed to rake my cheek with his nails.
Before I could swing my weapon again, another jumped on my back and put me in a choke hold. The grip was tight and as I tried to free myself the others tackled me. Thankfully this loosened the grip around my neck. However I was on my back and the others were closing in.
I kicked one of my attackers in the knee so it broke and went backwards. This person didn't make a sound and I doubt they felt it.
One of them kicked me in the face and even though it didn't knock me out, it hurt like hell and made me see stars.
I swung my machete in a wide half circle, managing to open the belly of another.
That bought me some room but as I tried to stand up two more jumped on my back and took me to the ground. The rest all piled on top of me, snapping at me while growling and nipping at each other to get out of the way so they could get to me.
I really thought this was going to be how I was going to die, however just then all of them went limp and fell.
A fraction of a second later I heard an explosion coming from the cave.
As I layed there, in the bottom of the pile of bodies, it felt like my heart was going to explode. I was so close to dying, but I prevailed.
I won.
I let out a warcry that Otis would have been proud of and pushed the bodies off of me.
Standing up, I gave one of my attackers a kick for good measure. However it was like kicking a dried up hornets nest and the toe of my boot went right through. The only part that wasn’t brittle was the rocks that grew out of them.
Wiping my boots off in the grass, I heard shouting on the other side of the hill. As soon as I heard this I knew it was Williams and King and ran towards them, a large grin on my face.
“Hey” I yelled out happily when I saw them, but they didn’t seem to hear me and were yelling at each other. Not because they were angry, but because the explosion made them momentarily deaf.
“What?” King asked as he rubbed his ears.
“You’re an idiot,” Williams shouted.
“I can’t hear you,” King complained, pointing at his ears.
“Are you two okay?” I asked as I jogged closer to them.
Williams saw me in the corner of his eye and jumped. When he saw it was me a grin spread on his face. “Hey, you’re alive.”
“Of course I am.”
“What?” King shouted before turning around and seeing me.
“You saved us” Williams answered as he used his pinkie finger to rub deep in his ear.
“Damn,” King said as he took my chin in hand and turned my head to get a look at my face.
“It was nothing,” I answered.
With a closer inspection of my nose, King sucked air through his teeth. “Could've been worse, I guess.”
“It’s true what they said about you,” Williams yelled. “The Order is going to hear of this.”
“Hear of—-“ I started, nervously. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Wrong?” Williams asked loudly, his ears were still ringing.
“What are you saying?” King shouted.
“Did I do something wrong?” I asked, louder than before.
Williams and King looked at each other for a moment and there was a fleeting mischievous expression that came over their faces.
“Where's my cigarettes?” Williams asked sternly.
I didn't know what to say to this and stammered.
A smile grew on William's face and he walked past me. “Just playing with you, kid. Just playing with you.”
“You did good,” King said, placing his hand on my shoulder. “I think Farsight was right about you.”
“Right about me?” I asked. “What do you mean?”
King smiled. “You remember the first day of training?”
I nodded because dozens of kids jogged in formation for miles at five in the morning, sparring with blunt weapons, performing military drills, eating in the mess hall during mealtimes and sleeping in one of the bunkhouses that were hidden in the woods wasn't something I was likely to forget. “Why?”
“You remember that little test they gave you?”
I nodded. All of the questions involved how to dispose of one monster or another. Most of the monsters I never heard of, but as I filled the questionnaire out I remembered Otis’ wise words during my time mowing the lawn at Miss Luther's house: Gotta hit them with your bullets.
This was what I used to answer all the questions.
“Yeah, what about it?”
King squeezed my shoulder and his smile grew. “The Order was impressed and I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but… they think you're going to save the world.”
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2023.03.31 18:37 fuwafuwapanc Japanese Souffle Pancakes Near Me
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2023.03.31 18:37 Narrow_Muscle9572 The Lawn Killer - The Island
By the time I was sixteen Linda got my dad to send me off to what they thought was boarding school. In reality it was a compound where the Order of the Wren would begin training me so I could be a full-fledged member.
During this time D and I would talk on the phone a few times a week. Since the Order had me move around so often I had to be the one doing the calling. These conversations didn't last as long as I would have liked because there was no privacy in the hotel rooms we would frequently stay at.
By we, I mean the two experienced hunters I would have to learn from. Their names were Williams and King. Neither did much talking and I could tell they didn't like having me around. Not that I could blame them. I was inexperienced and they had better things to do than to hold my hand and explain things to me. That meant that when we had to go somewhere to slay some monstrosity, I would have to wait in the hotel we were staying at.
I was bored out of my mind most of the time when we were traveling the country but I would learn to love those dull moments soon enough.
Williams was alright even though he smelt like a chimney, but at least he was patient with me and kind. However, King was crazy, cynical and had an unhealthy obsession with explosives. I asked him about it once and he told me “In this line of work, some things are vulnerable to fire, monk root, silver and stuff, right? But in my experience nothing can survive when twenty pounds of homemade explosives go boom.”
The days passed slowly so I would kill time by sharpening rune covered blades that would hurt all sorts of monsters, making specialized ammo, documenting everything I thought was noteworthy so future generations of members could learn from us, reading, playing cards and waiting for Farsight to call.
I asked Williams about Farsight on a few occasions and he told me that they were high ranking members of the Order who essentially ran everything. Since they were a secretive bunch, who they were and how they knew where to send all the teams was a mystery.
Most people I spoke to said they thought the biggest clue on how Farsight operated was the history of the Order itself.
Learning about the Order was a top priority during my studies at the compound. The long and the short is: back in the day there were some nerds that saved a bunch of books and scrolls from a fire that was about to consume a library named after some guy named Alexander. Lots of these people died as a result of saving what they could and because of their sacrifice the Order knows how to dispose and kill monsters.
My studies were not limited to history either. Most of the time was spent doing military drills, however on a few occasions I got to try my hand at magic. That being said, magic welders are rare and I was not one of them.
The first time I ever saw any action we were waiting somewhere in Ohio when the phone rang.
King answered the phone, waited and responded with ‘yes’, ‘no’ and finally ‘understood’ before hanging up.
“What did they say?” asked Williams.
King sighed and shook his head. “We got a plane to catch,” King answered as he slapped his knees and stood up.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Alaska.”
“What's in Alaska?” Williams asked before I could.
“Farsight got wind of some town that went missing.”
“A town went missing?” I asked, pinching my eyebrows together in confusion.
“It happens,” King shrugged. “Roanoke, Waterway… Etcetera.”
“Waterway?” I asked. “Never heard of it.”
“That's because it disappeared,” Williams answered before turning to King. “Did Farsight tell you what was there?”
King gave him a look before returning to pack up his things. “Do they ever?”
Getting to our destination meant getting in three different single engine planes that all took off and landed on someone's field instead of an airport. Each of the planes were held together by duct tape and prayers. After that, we rode in a boat for an hour.
The island we were assigned to go to was small and covered with equal parts trees, brush and rocks. There weren't many houses and the nicest one of them was a doublewide trailer in poor condition.
“Where is everyone?” I asked as we made our way off the dock and onto land.
“I don't like this,” Williams added as he took out the HSD (Handheld Supernatural Detector. It sort of looked like half of a bike handle covered in copper wire, black electricians tape and at the end there are two antennas). “Nothing” Williams said after waving it around a little while.
“Keep it activated” King said, his shotgun at the ready as he led us through what passed as a town on this island.
“Maybe the signal is too weak” I suggested.
“Might be,” King responded. “Might not even be supernatural?”
“What else could it be?” I asked.
“Disease? Jobs disappearing” King answered.
“Doesn't look like there were lots of jobs here anyways” Williams pointed out, waving the HSD in different directions but not picking up anything. “Besides, Farsight isn't wrong about these things” he added as King led us to the first house and walked in.
“How many people lived here?” I asked.
“No more than thirty,” King answered.
We kept checking the houses, but time after time there were no clues to tell us what happened to the island's occupants. There were no signs of struggle, the clothes were still on the hangers and there was even food that sat around for so long that whatever it once was became mostly mold.
“So what's the plan?” I asked after reaching the last house before the forest started. I was hoping that they would say something that involved a hot shower. After the trip out here I felt that I could have used one.
Or two.
“It's going to get dark soon,” King answered, looking at the sunset. “And since we don't know what we are dealing with, we should find a place to stay for the night.”
“Where?” I asked.
“Churches are safer than most places” Williams suggested, pointing to a squat, square building.
The door was unlocked so we let ourselves in. The first thing King and Williams did was to see if we were alone. They checked the confessionals, the back office, the bathroom, under every pew and kept their eyes on the rafters.
King figured the safest part of the building was the back office, so we all went there. With the three of us it was cramped. I would have suggested staying in one of the houses, but it wouldn't have felt right sleeping in a strangers house when they were missing, besides, places of worship would provide safety. At least from some things.
On the desk that belonged to the priest was a newspaper and Williams picked it up to check the date. Something I would never have thought of doing, and saw that it was two months old.
“In a place like this, I wouldn't think they would get their news fresh off the press” King responded when Williams pointed this out.
“Still” Williams said. “That's a long time, even for way out here.”
When it came to claiming sleeping areas it was nearly impossible for all of us to be satisfied with the results. Not only was it crammed with all of us in the back office, but both men also suffered from night terrors.
By the time we all had our designated sleeping spots, Williams grumbled about being low on cigarettes and ordered me to run to the island's convenience store and “grab an armful.”
At first I protested, but they told me that since the island was abandoned it wasn't stealing.
It was my turn to grumble, but I did as I was told.
As I walked to the convenience store, I wondered how Farsight would react if they knew King and Williams sent me off by myself like this.
Pulling the door open to go inside, I was surprised to find that the store looked nearly the same as the one in Gray Hill. They had stuffed animals on the walls, pickled pig parts in glass jars, they even had the same off brand food items that I could never find anywhere other than home.
Excited, I raced to the cooler and found the same brand of ginger ale I loved so much. I sucked down one, feeling the carbonation reach up into my nose and burn like hell.
Once I loaded the rest of the bottles in my bag I went over to the counter and hopped over it to grab Williams his cigarettes.
After leaving the store I saw a truck parked out front of the church that wasn't there when I left. Feeling something was wrong I ducked behind a fence. Just in time too because a second later the door swung open and a group of people were dragging King and Williams to the truck.
The people seemed to be wearing the furs of all sorts of animals. From skunk to deer to bear and whatever else that lived on the island. At first I thought their faces were covered in dirt, however thanks to D’s alterations I could see that it was actually black rocks glistening in the dying light. Not only that but they were growing out of these people. One had a large piece coming straight up from behind his left collarbone, another had her face peppered with small rocks but the man who appeared to be their leader had one coming out of his eye socket.
King and Williams were shouting at the group, what they were saying I can’t repeat and if I cleaned it up it wouldn't be much of a sentence.
I stayed still and out of sight until the truck pulled away. Since I was only armed with the buck knife I kept on my belt at all times I wouldn’t be much help. Even less so if I was caught by whoever took the more experienced monster hunters.
As soon as the truck was out of sight I ran into the church to grab the weapons we brought with us. Both shotguns that were filled with special shells we made ourselves and our rune covered machetes.
Just as I was about to leave I remembered the backpack filled with explosives. When I scooped that up I took off in the direction I last saw the truck going.
I ran for about two miles before finally finding the truck which was parked in the middle of nowhere on the side of the road. Most of the journey was uphill, however thanks to what D did to me I had plenty of energy to spare.
It didn't take long for me to see that there were tracks that led into the woods and without thinking about it, I followed them. King and Williams needed my help.
The tracks were easy to follow considering there were six people plus King and Williams who were struggling with their abductors.
I had been tracking these people for fifteen or twenty minutes by the time I came across a rocky hill, and since rocks don't leave tracks, I thought I lost them. However, just then I saw a small cave entrance. Figuring that was where King and Williams were taken, I hustled up the hill to investigate, making sure I kept low and quiet.
When I got in the cave I thought my eyes would adjust, however it didn't. Inside was completely dark and there was no sound other than my own breathing and footfalls. I would come to learn later than caves are like that. Completely dark so even my eyes couldn't adjust and they muffle sounds.
After a short time of navigating down a narrow passageway by dragging my hand on the wall I saw a faint orange glow and slowly walked towards it, careful not to make any sound. As I drew closer, I heard a group of people chanting in a strange language that almost sounded like angry small dogs.
A few stalagmites and stalactites separated the passageway I was on from a large open area with small bonfires scattered around. The people who took King and Williams were circling a large black monolith that sat in the middle of the room and they seemed to be praying to it. To me the monolith resembled the rocks that grew out of the people.
“I’mma kill you” shouted a familiar voice about ten feet below where I stood. It was King. Both he and Williams had their hands tied behind them, around a rock. “Stem to stern, you hear that? You hear that?!”
As King was shouting, I figured I would have less of a chance at getting caught if I climbed down the steep cave wall instead of following the path. Thankfully I managed to get to them without making a sound that Kings yelling didn't muffle.
D made me a borderline superhero, and superheroes save people. So even though my heart was jumping out of my chest, that didn't stop me from doing what I had to do.
“Shh” I whispered to Williams as I put the handle of my knife in his still bound hand. “I’m leaving the bag of explosives behind you. The shotguns and your machete too.”
Williams didn't make a sound, but he nodded and started to cut the ropes.
King was still shouting to his abductors, masking my voice as I told Williams that I was going to buy them time by serving as a distraction.
Without waiting for a nod, I went back the way I came and started climbing. I was sure I was going to get caught when I caused a few rocks to fall, but then Williams started to yell, joining King to mask the sound.
After reaching the passageway I came from, I turned around to see Williams give me a slight nod. Then I shouted for everyone to hear.
“Your mom shaves her chest and you—”
I didn't get any further than that because the people hissed and ran towards me. Some climbed the wall I just did while others ran down the path I chose not to take in order to reach the two more experienced hunters.
Seeing how fast they were moving made me regret not thinking past this part of the plan.
I ran as fast as I could down the dark and narrow path I entered from. The entire time I could hear them behind me and I imagined that they were getting closer.
As soon as I got outside, it was dark and I made a split second decision to run to the coast. This would make it look like I was trying to get to a boat instead of buying the more experienced monster hunters some time. However every time I tried to head towards the beach a few of my pursuers would be in my way, forcing me to change course.
After what D did to me I was fast, not Olympic speed but it was safe to say I was faster than everyone I knew. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw that these people were keeping pace with me. If it was just one of them, I wouldn't have given it much thought, but all of them were. Even the fat and the old ones.
I tried coming up with answers that might help my chances if I had to fight these people, or should I say what these people became? The rocks gave them enhanced strength and speed, but other than that the clues I had were minimal. The rocks could have been anything from viral, extraterrestrial, interdimensional or even parasitic.
However it was safe to say that even if it was parasitic it was not demonic. If it was, the HSD would’ve picked it up.
If I knew what language these people were speaking, that would narrow the possibilities that much further.
I must have been running for about ten minutes before I realized three things at once. The first thing was these people were much faster than they were letting on and were just toying with me. The second was that I was being herded back to the cave and the third was that I was going to have to stop running and fight.
As soon as I stopped running, I pulled the machete out from its sheath and turned to face those who meant me harm.
They surrounded me like a pack of wolves, and like a pack of wolves they snapped their jaws and made sounds that reminded me of a group of angry tiny dogs barking. These people also attacked like wolves too because the ones behind me would be doing the attacking.
The first one tried to jump onto my shoulders but before she could wrap her arms and legs around me I quickly turned around and used her momentum to throw her into the others. Immediately another lept towards me and was met with a front kick, connecting right below the belly button.
That was when the third one, the one with the rock growing out of his eye, bit my hand.
I don't know who was more surprised, me because I was bit, or him because it cracked his teeth.
I recovered from the shock before he did and raised the machete up to cut off his head.
As I swung he lifted up his hand to block it. Even though I didn't take his head, I still managed to take his hand and half of his forearm.
If he felt pain he sure hid it well.
He swiped at me with his other hand and I leaned back to dodge it. He was fast though and managed to rake my cheek with his nails.
Before I could swing my weapon again, another jumped on my back and put me in a choke hold. The grip was tight and as I tried to free myself the others tackled me. Thankfully this loosened the grip around my neck. However I was on my back and the others were closing in.
I kicked one of my attackers in the knee so it broke and went backwards. This person didn't make a sound and I doubt they felt it.
One of them kicked me in the face and even though it didn't knock me out, it hurt like hell and made me see stars.
I swung my machete in a wide half circle, managing to open the belly of another.
That bought me some room but as I tried to stand up two more jumped on my back and took me to the ground. The rest all piled on top of me, snapping at me while growling and nipping at each other to get out of the way so they could get to me.
I really thought this was going to be how I was going to die, however just then all of them went limp and fell.
A fraction of a second later I heard an explosion coming from the cave.
As I layed there, in the bottom of the pile of bodies, it felt like my heart was going to explode. I was so close to dying, but I prevailed.
I won.
I let out a warcry that Otis would have been proud of and pushed the bodies off of me.
Standing up, I gave one of my attackers a kick for good measure. However it was like kicking a dried up hornets nest and the toe of my boot went right through. The only part that wasn’t brittle was the rocks that grew out of them.
Wiping my boots off in the grass, I heard shouting on the other side of the hill. As soon as I heard this I knew it was Williams and King and ran towards them, a large grin on my face.
“Hey” I yelled out happily when I saw them, but they didn’t seem to hear me and were yelling at each other. Not because they were angry, but because the explosion made them momentarily deaf.
“What?” King asked as he rubbed his ears.
“You’re an idiot,” Williams shouted.
“I can’t hear you,” King complained, pointing at his ears.
“Are you two okay?” I asked as I jogged closer to them.
Williams saw me in the corner of his eye and jumped. When he saw it was me a grin spread on his face. “Hey, you’re alive.”
“Of course I am.”
“What?” King shouted before turning around and seeing me.
“You saved us” Williams answered as he used his pinkie finger to rub deep in his ear.
“Damn,” King said as he took my chin in hand and turned my head to get a look at my face.
“It was nothing,” I answered.
With a closer inspection of my nose, King sucked air through his teeth. “Could've been worse, I guess.”
“It’s true what they said about you,” Williams yelled. “The Order is going to hear of this.”
“Hear of—-“ I started, nervously. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Wrong?” Williams asked loudly, his ears were still ringing.
“What are you saying?” King shouted.
“Did I do something wrong?” I asked, louder than before.
Williams and King looked at each other for a moment and there was a fleeting mischievous expression that came over their faces.
“Where's my cigarettes?” Williams asked sternly.
I didn't know what to say to this and stammered.
A smile grew on William's face and he walked past me. “Just playing with you, kid. Just playing with you.”
“You did good,” King said, placing his hand on my shoulder. “I think Farsight was right about you.”
“Right about me?” I asked. “What do you mean?”
King smiled. “You remember the first day of training?”
I nodded because dozens of kids jogged in formation for miles at five in the morning, sparring with blunt weapons, performing military drills, eating in the mess hall during mealtimes and sleeping in one of the bunkhouses that were hidden in the woods wasn't something I was likely to forget. “Why?”
“You remember that little test they gave you?”
I nodded. All of the questions involved how to dispose of one monster or another. Most of the monsters I never heard of, but as I filled the questionnaire out I remembered Otis’ wise words during my time mowing the lawn at Miss Luther's house: Gotta hit them with your bullets.
This was what I used to answer all the questions.
“Yeah, what about it?”
King squeezed my shoulder and his smile grew. “The Order was impressed and I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but… they think you're going to save the world.”
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2023.03.31 18:37 Hasselhoff265 Constantly I gain weight, without changing my lifestyle.
Like the title said, I(25/m) gain constantly weight after years over years on nearly the same weight(80kg/1.90m). It started last year in summer that I noticed that I started to gain weight outta nowhere. I always pretty sporty and do normally 14.000 steps a day, cycle to work while also going jogging and swimming from time to time(normally once or twice a week).
Now 9 months later I’m at 85kg and I’m starting to see the difference in my appearance. Last week I was on a hiking trip and made 100km in 5 days, after coming back I’ve gained another 1kg. It is ridiculous to me, I’ve never tried to lose weight by diet but I also never gained any weight like I said I’m not able to do more sport.
Is there a logical solution or do I need to change my lifestyle that drastic?
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2023.03.31 18:36 Narrow_Muscle9572 The Lawn Killer - The Island
By the time I was sixteen Linda got my dad to send me off to what they thought was boarding school. In reality it was a compound where the Order of the Wren would begin training me so I could be a full-fledged member.
During this time D and I would talk on the phone a few times a week. Since the Order had me move around so often I had to be the one doing the calling. These conversations didn't last as long as I would have liked because there was no privacy in the hotel rooms we would frequently stay at.
By we, I mean the two experienced hunters I would have to learn from. Their names were Williams and King. Neither did much talking and I could tell they didn't like having me around. Not that I could blame them. I was inexperienced and they had better things to do than to hold my hand and explain things to me. That meant that when we had to go somewhere to slay some monstrosity, I would have to wait in the hotel we were staying at.
I was bored out of my mind most of the time when we were traveling the country but I would learn to love those dull moments soon enough.
Williams was alright even though he smelt like a chimney, but at least he was patient with me and kind. However, King was crazy, cynical and had an unhealthy obsession with explosives. I asked him about it once and he told me “In this line of work, some things are vulnerable to fire, monk root, silver and stuff, right? But in my experience nothing can survive when twenty pounds of homemade explosives go boom.”
The days passed slowly so I would kill time by sharpening rune covered blades that would hurt all sorts of monsters, making specialized ammo, documenting everything I thought was noteworthy so future generations of members could learn from us, reading, playing cards and waiting for Farsight to call.
I asked Williams about Farsight on a few occasions and he told me that they were high ranking members of the Order who essentially ran everything. Since they were a secretive bunch, who they were and how they knew where to send all the teams was a mystery.
Most people I spoke to said they thought the biggest clue on how Farsight operated was the history of the Order itself.
Learning about the Order was a top priority during my studies at the compound. The long and the short is: back in the day there were some nerds that saved a bunch of books and scrolls from a fire that was about to consume a library named after some guy named Alexander. Lots of these people died as a result of saving what they could and because of their sacrifice the Order knows how to dispose and kill monsters.
My studies were not limited to history either. Most of the time was spent doing military drills, however on a few occasions I got to try my hand at magic. That being said, magic welders are rare and I was not one of them.
The first time I ever saw any action we were waiting somewhere in Ohio when the phone rang.
King answered the phone, waited and responded with ‘yes’, ‘no’ and finally ‘understood’ before hanging up.
“What did they say?” asked Williams.
King sighed and shook his head. “We got a plane to catch,” King answered as he slapped his knees and stood up.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“Alaska.”
“What's in Alaska?” Williams asked before I could.
“Farsight got wind of some town that went missing.”
“A town went missing?” I asked, pinching my eyebrows together in confusion.
“It happens,” King shrugged. “Roanoke, Waterway… Etcetera.”
“Waterway?” I asked. “Never heard of it.”
“That's because it disappeared,” Williams answered before turning to King. “Did Farsight tell you what was there?”
King gave him a look before returning to pack up his things. “Do they ever?”
Getting to our destination meant getting in three different single engine planes that all took off and landed on someone's field instead of an airport. Each of the planes were held together by duct tape and prayers. After that, we rode in a boat for an hour.
The island we were assigned to go to was small and covered with equal parts trees, brush and rocks. There weren't many houses and the nicest one of them was a doublewide trailer in poor condition.
“Where is everyone?” I asked as we made our way off the dock and onto land.
“I don't like this,” Williams added as he took out the HSD (Handheld Supernatural Detector. It sort of looked like half of a bike handle covered in copper wire, black electricians tape and at the end there are two antennas). “Nothing” Williams said after waving it around a little while.
“Keep it activated” King said, his shotgun at the ready as he led us through what passed as a town on this island.
“Maybe the signal is too weak” I suggested.
“Might be,” King responded. “Might not even be supernatural?”
“What else could it be?” I asked.
“Disease? Jobs disappearing” King answered.
“Doesn't look like there were lots of jobs here anyways” Williams pointed out, waving the HSD in different directions but not picking up anything. “Besides, Farsight isn't wrong about these things” he added as King led us to the first house and walked in.
“How many people lived here?” I asked.
“No more than thirty,” King answered.
We kept checking the houses, but time after time there were no clues to tell us what happened to the island's occupants. There were no signs of struggle, the clothes were still on the hangers and there was even food that sat around for so long that whatever it once was became mostly mold.
“So what's the plan?” I asked after reaching the last house before the forest started. I was hoping that they would say something that involved a hot shower. After the trip out here I felt that I could have used one.
Or two.
“It's going to get dark soon,” King answered, looking at the sunset. “And since we don't know what we are dealing with, we should find a place to stay for the night.”
“Where?” I asked.
“Churches are safer than most places” Williams suggested, pointing to a squat, square building.
The door was unlocked so we let ourselves in. The first thing King and Williams did was to see if we were alone. They checked the confessionals, the back office, the bathroom, under every pew and kept their eyes on the rafters.
King figured the safest part of the building was the back office, so we all went there. With the three of us it was cramped. I would have suggested staying in one of the houses, but it wouldn't have felt right sleeping in a strangers house when they were missing, besides, places of worship would provide safety. At least from some things.
On the desk that belonged to the priest was a newspaper and Williams picked it up to check the date. Something I would never have thought of doing, and saw that it was two months old.
“In a place like this, I wouldn't think they would get their news fresh off the press” King responded when Williams pointed this out.
“Still” Williams said. “That's a long time, even for way out here.”
When it came to claiming sleeping areas it was nearly impossible for all of us to be satisfied with the results. Not only was it crammed with all of us in the back office, but both men also suffered from night terrors.
By the time we all had our designated sleeping spots, Williams grumbled about being low on cigarettes and ordered me to run to the island's convenience store and “grab an armful.”
At first I protested, but they told me that since the island was abandoned it wasn't stealing.
It was my turn to grumble, but I did as I was told.
As I walked to the convenience store, I wondered how Farsight would react if they knew King and Williams sent me off by myself like this.
Pulling the door open to go inside, I was surprised to find that the store looked nearly the same as the one in Gray Hill. They had stuffed animals on the walls, pickled pig parts in glass jars, they even had the same off brand food items that I could never find anywhere other than home.
Excited, I raced to the cooler and found the same brand of ginger ale I loved so much. I sucked down one, feeling the carbonation reach up into my nose and burn like hell.
Once I loaded the rest of the bottles in my bag I went over to the counter and hopped over it to grab Williams his cigarettes.
After leaving the store I saw a truck parked out front of the church that wasn't there when I left. Feeling something was wrong I ducked behind a fence. Just in time too because a second later the door swung open and a group of people were dragging King and Williams to the truck.
The people seemed to be wearing the furs of all sorts of animals. From skunk to deer to bear and whatever else that lived on the island. At first I thought their faces were covered in dirt, however thanks to D’s alterations I could see that it was actually black rocks glistening in the dying light. Not only that but they were growing out of these people. One had a large piece coming straight up from behind his left collarbone, another had her face peppered with small rocks but the man who appeared to be their leader had one coming out of his eye socket.
King and Williams were shouting at the group, what they were saying I can’t repeat and if I cleaned it up it wouldn't be much of a sentence.
I stayed still and out of sight until the truck pulled away. Since I was only armed with the buck knife I kept on my belt at all times I wouldn’t be much help. Even less so if I was caught by whoever took the more experienced monster hunters.
As soon as the truck was out of sight I ran into the church to grab the weapons we brought with us. Both shotguns that were filled with special shells we made ourselves and our rune covered machetes.
Just as I was about to leave I remembered the backpack filled with explosives. When I scooped that up I took off in the direction I last saw the truck going.
I ran for about two miles before finally finding the truck which was parked in the middle of nowhere on the side of the road. Most of the journey was uphill, however thanks to what D did to me I had plenty of energy to spare.
It didn't take long for me to see that there were tracks that led into the woods and without thinking about it, I followed them. King and Williams needed my help.
The tracks were easy to follow considering there were six people plus King and Williams who were struggling with their abductors.
I had been tracking these people for fifteen or twenty minutes by the time I came across a rocky hill, and since rocks don't leave tracks, I thought I lost them. However, just then I saw a small cave entrance. Figuring that was where King and Williams were taken, I hustled up the hill to investigate, making sure I kept low and quiet.
When I got in the cave I thought my eyes would adjust, however it didn't. Inside was completely dark and there was no sound other than my own breathing and footfalls. I would come to learn later than caves are like that. Completely dark so even my eyes couldn't adjust and they muffle sounds.
After a short time of navigating down a narrow passageway by dragging my hand on the wall I saw a faint orange glow and slowly walked towards it, careful not to make any sound. As I drew closer, I heard a group of people chanting in a strange language that almost sounded like angry small dogs.
A few stalagmites and stalactites separated the passageway I was on from a large open area with small bonfires scattered around. The people who took King and Williams were circling a large black monolith that sat in the middle of the room and they seemed to be praying to it. To me the monolith resembled the rocks that grew out of the people.
“I’mma kill you” shouted a familiar voice about ten feet below where I stood. It was King. Both he and Williams had their hands tied behind them, around a rock. “Stem to stern, you hear that? You hear that?!”
As King was shouting, I figured I would have less of a chance at getting caught if I climbed down the steep cave wall instead of following the path. Thankfully I managed to get to them without making a sound that Kings yelling didn't muffle.
D made me a borderline superhero, and superheroes save people. So even though my heart was jumping out of my chest, that didn't stop me from doing what I had to do.
“Shh” I whispered to Williams as I put the handle of my knife in his still bound hand. “I’m leaving the bag of explosives behind you. The shotguns and your machete too.”
Williams didn't make a sound, but he nodded and started to cut the ropes.
King was still shouting to his abductors, masking my voice as I told Williams that I was going to buy them time by serving as a distraction.
Without waiting for a nod, I went back the way I came and started climbing. I was sure I was going to get caught when I caused a few rocks to fall, but then Williams started to yell, joining King to mask the sound.
After reaching the passageway I came from, I turned around to see Williams give me a slight nod. Then I shouted for everyone to hear.
“Your mom shaves her chest and you—”
I didn't get any further than that because the people hissed and ran towards me. Some climbed the wall I just did while others ran down the path I chose not to take in order to reach the two more experienced hunters.
Seeing how fast they were moving made me regret not thinking past this part of the plan.
I ran as fast as I could down the dark and narrow path I entered from. The entire time I could hear them behind me and I imagined that they were getting closer.
As soon as I got outside, it was dark and I made a split second decision to run to the coast. This would make it look like I was trying to get to a boat instead of buying the more experienced monster hunters some time. However every time I tried to head towards the beach a few of my pursuers would be in my way, forcing me to change course.
After what D did to me I was fast, not Olympic speed but it was safe to say I was faster than everyone I knew. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw that these people were keeping pace with me. If it was just one of them, I wouldn't have given it much thought, but all of them were. Even the fat and the old ones.
I tried coming up with answers that might help my chances if I had to fight these people, or should I say what these people became? The rocks gave them enhanced strength and speed, but other than that the clues I had were minimal. The rocks could have been anything from viral, extraterrestrial, interdimensional or even parasitic.
However it was safe to say that even if it was parasitic it was not demonic. If it was, the HSD would’ve picked it up.
If I knew what language these people were speaking, that would narrow the possibilities that much further.
I must have been running for about ten minutes before I realized three things at once. The first thing was these people were much faster than they were letting on and were just toying with me. The second was that I was being herded back to the cave and the third was that I was going to have to stop running and fight.
As soon as I stopped running, I pulled the machete out from its sheath and turned to face those who meant me harm.
They surrounded me like a pack of wolves, and like a pack of wolves they snapped their jaws and made sounds that reminded me of a group of angry tiny dogs barking. These people also attacked like wolves too because the ones behind me would be doing the attacking.
The first one tried to jump onto my shoulders but before she could wrap her arms and legs around me I quickly turned around and used her momentum to throw her into the others. Immediately another lept towards me and was met with a front kick, connecting right below the belly button.
That was when the third one, the one with the rock growing out of his eye, bit my hand.
I don't know who was more surprised, me because I was bit, or him because it cracked his teeth.
I recovered from the shock before he did and raised the machete up to cut off his head.
As I swung he lifted up his hand to block it. Even though I didn't take his head, I still managed to take his hand and half of his forearm.
If he felt pain he sure hid it well.
He swiped at me with his other hand and I leaned back to dodge it. He was fast though and managed to rake my cheek with his nails.
Before I could swing my weapon again, another jumped on my back and put me in a choke hold. The grip was tight and as I tried to free myself the others tackled me. Thankfully this loosened the grip around my neck. However I was on my back and the others were closing in.
I kicked one of my attackers in the knee so it broke and went backwards. This person didn't make a sound and I doubt they felt it.
One of them kicked me in the face and even though it didn't knock me out, it hurt like hell and made me see stars.
I swung my machete in a wide half circle, managing to open the belly of another.
That bought me some room but as I tried to stand up two more jumped on my back and took me to the ground. The rest all piled on top of me, snapping at me while growling and nipping at each other to get out of the way so they could get to me.
I really thought this was going to be how I was going to die, however just then all of them went limp and fell.
A fraction of a second later I heard an explosion coming from the cave.
As I layed there, in the bottom of the pile of bodies, it felt like my heart was going to explode. I was so close to dying, but I prevailed.
I won.
I let out a warcry that Otis would have been proud of and pushed the bodies off of me.
Standing up, I gave one of my attackers a kick for good measure. However it was like kicking a dried up hornets nest and the toe of my boot went right through. The only part that wasn’t brittle was the rocks that grew out of them.
Wiping my boots off in the grass, I heard shouting on the other side of the hill. As soon as I heard this I knew it was Williams and King and ran towards them, a large grin on my face.
“Hey” I yelled out happily when I saw them, but they didn’t seem to hear me and were yelling at each other. Not because they were angry, but because the explosion made them momentarily deaf.
“What?” King asked as he rubbed his ears.
“You’re an idiot,” Williams shouted.
“I can’t hear you,” King complained, pointing at his ears.
“Are you two okay?” I asked as I jogged closer to them.
Williams saw me in the corner of his eye and jumped. When he saw it was me a grin spread on his face. “Hey, you’re alive.”
“Of course I am.”
“What?” King shouted before turning around and seeing me.
“You saved us” Williams answered as he used his pinkie finger to rub deep in his ear.
“Damn,” King said as he took my chin in hand and turned my head to get a look at my face.
“It was nothing,” I answered.
With a closer inspection of my nose, King sucked air through his teeth. “Could've been worse, I guess.”
“It’s true what they said about you,” Williams yelled. “The Order is going to hear of this.”
“Hear of—-“ I started, nervously. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Wrong?” Williams asked loudly, his ears were still ringing.
“What are you saying?” King shouted.
“Did I do something wrong?” I asked, louder than before.
Williams and King looked at each other for a moment and there was a fleeting mischievous expression that came over their faces.
“Where's my cigarettes?” Williams asked sternly.
I didn't know what to say to this and stammered.
A smile grew on William's face and he walked past me. “Just playing with you, kid. Just playing with you.”
“You did good,” King said, placing his hand on my shoulder. “I think Farsight was right about you.”
“Right about me?” I asked. “What do you mean?”
King smiled. “You remember the first day of training?”
I nodded because dozens of kids jogged in formation for miles at five in the morning, sparring with blunt weapons, performing military drills, eating in the mess hall during mealtimes and sleeping in one of the bunkhouses that were hidden in the woods wasn't something I was likely to forget. “Why?”
“You remember that little test they gave you?”
I nodded. All of the questions involved how to dispose of one monster or another. Most of the monsters I never heard of, but as I filled the questionnaire out I remembered Otis’ wise words during my time mowing the lawn at Miss Luther's house: Gotta hit them with your bullets.
This was what I used to answer all the questions.
“Yeah, what about it?”
King squeezed my shoulder and his smile grew. “The Order was impressed and I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but… they think you're going to save the world.”
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2023.03.31 18:36 AmandaSaid It's always dudes at the gas station
I would love to just go a week without a strange man creating an uncomfortable situation in public. Yesterday, I was leaving work and stopped at the new gas station right nearby to fill up and grab some Truly's. They have a self-check situation, which they force you to use even if you know you're going to need an ID check. So I ring up my stuff, and hold up my ID to get the employees attention. He's like, mid 50's and just has that... dirty/grungy/Frank Gallagher vibe. Interaction goes as follows:
Man: "Ah, I see you're ready and waiting for me." Me: "Yep." Man: (takes my ID and looks at it.) "I'll ring this up for you, as long as I can follow you home and drink one with you." Me: "uhh, yeah. I'm gonna have to say no." (Holding my hand out for ID) Man: "Yeah, I bet your husband wouldn't like that." Me: "I wouldn't like that." (Shakes hand to indicate I would very much like my ID back) Man: "Yeah, my lady friend wouldn't like that either. She'd rip my lips off!" Me: "Jesus Christ, man. Give me my fucking ID!" Man: "We don't tolerate that kind of language here. You should pay and go." Me: "That is literally all I've been trying to do."
And he FINALLY hands my ID back. While acting like I'M the problematic person here.
This isn't nearly the most egregious situation I've been in, but there is something SO uncomfortable about a stranger telling you he's going to follow you home while actively holding your address in his hand. It was also just so... embarrassing? I know that I shouldn't feel that way, but there were a ton of other people around and I just hate that sensation where you KNOW everyone's ears are perked up and they're watching what's going to happen. I mean, not that any of the other men SAID anything to this weirdo, but I'd like to pretend they also thought this was inappropriate and unnecessary.
Anyway, I'll go back and go up through managers until he no longer works there. I'm an HR Business Partner by trade, and you'd be surprised how quickly employers will acquiesce when you explain the potential liability these shit bags pose.
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2023.03.31 18:36 funzippyevents Find Upcoming Events & Fun Things To Do Near Me
FunZippy lets you quickly find fun things to do near you and all local upcoming events in your location. We also provide you with a platform where you can plan, organize, manage and track your personal, private & public events.
Visit our website:
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2023.03.31 18:36 MisterMegatron New Playlist: DROELOE-ish. Songs that are reminiscent of DROELOE's sound design from its conception through A Matter of Perspective
If you're like me, you miss the "old" DROELOE. Back when Hein was still doing art and Vincent's sound design was more distinguishable than it currently is. I've created a new Spotify playlist called
DROELOE-ish to help scratch this particular itch, and it contains songs by other artists (e.g., Taska Black, MEMBA, Silent Child) that closely replicate DROELOE's sounds.
Now, what makes a song DROELOE-ish?
While it's hard to pinpoint what
exactly makes a song DROELOE-ish, you can easily tell whether a song is DROELOE-ish just by listening to it. Here's what I've deduced so far while creating this playlist:
- Heavy percussion. Vincent's parents were jazz musicians, and he has said that their style influenced how he assembles the percussion in his songs. There are usually at least two to three layers of drums, cymbals, and/or snaps in each song. Listen to Taking Flight for about forty-five seconds to understand what I mean. Check out Dynasties and Dystopia by Denzel Curry, Grizzle, and Bren Joy as well for a non-DROELOE example. Keep in mind that the song will sound more like a DROELOE collaboration than a DROELOE single, as it's rap, not EDM, trap, or future bass
- Xylophone/marimba/glockenspiel/toy piano/nostalgic, single-note melodies. For example, take the intros to zZz or Weird Machine. To me, THIS is what makes DROELOE stand out. The closest I've found to replicating this is Cradles by Sub Urban or Chasing Light by MEMBA, MOTHICA
- Bass. Not heavy bass or light bass, but bass somewhere in the middle; something to give the song some backbone and oomph while you're listening to it in your car. See over_you by Zes for a good example
- Vocals that compliment the song but don't dominate it. When Vincent sings over his tracks, his voice takes up roughly 40% of what you hear (see Only Be Me). The rest is the melody itself. This one is hard to find in songs because artists want to make up the majority of what the listener hears, so I consider it a bonus whenever a song does this
And that's about it. I'll update the playlist as I discover new music, either by adding new songs or removing ones that I originally thought fit but actually don't.
If you have any suggestions for more DROELOE-ish songs, drop them in the comments, and I'll consider them for the playlist. Also, Vince, if you're reading this, keep doing what you're doing man. I've been listening since
Bon Voyage, and I'll
always support your work. While you're current music isn't objectively "bad", it just sounds generic, less like DROELOE and more like San Holo. Out of all the songs you've put out since AMoP, I enjoyed Demons the most because it makes an effort to go back to the "old" DROELOE.
But you're past the "old" DROELOE. Hein has been out of the picture for nearly three years, and as an artist, Vince, it's important for you to experiment and grow your sound signature. Just don't forget what made fans fall for your music to begin with.
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2023.03.31 18:35 Broad_Coconut_4757 How tf do some of you have such high volunteering/clinical hours, and also high research hours? Is a gap year just required
Maybe I'm out of the premed loop as I generally just try to avoid it but wtf, how are people just regularly having 2,000 clinical or volunteering hours? And also why do people put 1,000 clinical hours but have 0 or 1 publication, I am convinced a lot of this is exaggeration.
I deadass have maybe 200-250 total research hours and got 2 publications about med related stuff in fairly good journals. If I do 0 more hours, I'd probably end up with 3 or 4 because I've already done my share of the work for those, including 1 first author for a glioblastoma review paper that I actually drafted myself lmfao, all others mid author but I actually did serious work for. I am convinced that people are inflating or over estimating their research hours, no?
I have 20 volunteer hours through my church, and like 1 total shadowing experience. Am I just completely fucked unless I spend a whole summer or year doing this? I have a decent amount of paid work experience but I'm a bit hesitant about all these hours for free as college is already expensive and neither my parents nor me have unlimited money to support me
PS: Id be happy to talk about good strategy to get publications
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2023.03.31 18:35 Fearless_Stomach_849 Being told to tolerate emotional and physical abuse or leave?
what do you do when you’re 3 weeks away from graduating, have 2 assignments to submit and a thesis to complete. With no immediate family or friends to turn to. I am being told that I am a liar, and that I need to kiss my mothers hand and feet and beg her for forgiveness (and I am not exaggerating. These are my fathers words) after she threw a coffee mug at my face and on my laptop, smashed a glass bowl near my head, then raised her hand to hit me. Or I am to leave
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2023.03.31 18:35 CitrusNightmare A cautionary tale of the sin of Greed
I'm a big mad. Trying to unlock apollyon in BOI. which should've been unlocked a million times ago cuz I've beaten Mega Satan with literally every character, but downloaded afterbirth+/repentance later so I could exploit bugs in the base game with the main lineup. I have this decked out azazael. murking everything. I have the fucking key from angel rooms. Halo of tears , daddy long legs, double vision, monstros lung, a shit load of damage modifiers, even the nightlight. And book of revelations for extra health, I have nearly full red hearts. The DOOR TO MEGA SATAN IS OPEN
My greedy ass says "hey I can OP myself even more for fun by going and grabbing all the items on this floor before the fight AND using the forget me now pill to redo the room and get MORE items. The doors already open, so its no issue. Ill still have the key".
some small part of my brain says "greed is a sin, don't do it. Its gonna turn out bad" I'm like heehoo free items. I use the forget me now pill. THE DOOR IS FUCKING LOCKED AGAIN AND THE KEY IS GONE CUZ IT WAS USED ON THE OTHER DOOR.
and my dumbass picked up guppys body last minute so all my hearts were now back to 1 so even if I did manage to get to mega Satan I'd be utterly screwed unless I did a no hit run.
So yeah kids. God punished Greed and Gluttony
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2023.03.31 18:35 SchlesingerMindy323 [HIRING] 25 Jobs in LA Hiring Now!
Hey guys, here are some recent job openings in la. Feel free to comment here or send me a private message if you have any questions, I'm at the community's disposal! If you encounter any problems with any of these job openings please let me know that I will modify the table accordingly. Thanks!
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