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Serious Eats

2014.03.05 00:24 tomsellecksmustache Serious Eats

Serious Eats is the source for all things delicious. From meticulously tested recipes and objective equipment reviews to explainers and features about food science, food issues, and different cuisines all around the world, seriouseats.com offers readers everything they need to know to cook well and eat magnificently.
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2012.06.17 06:39 djmc Love where you live. Work where you play.

Let's compile a list of great places to telecommute from!! If you are currently working remotely full time out of a hotel or apartment in a different place than home, we need you in here! If we gather enough posts, we can confidently hop on a plane on friday, and be working at a known place with quality internet on monday.
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2018.06.02 07:47 itsbagelnotbagel Short stories, by the hivemind.

Where reddit writes stories, three words at a time.
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2023.03.29 11:14 metaldood19 33M - Nerdy stoner up late before a big vacation! Any night owls around for some hangs?

Hey hey, im taking my first vacation of the year and im sooooooooooo stoked as i'll be gone for a week. I decided to get pretty baked and vibe out the night before! I'm feeling pretty social and figured I'd post here.
I'm pretty heavily tattooed and have endless plans for many more, I'm pretty nerdy and love tabletop rpg's and am a big 40k fan as well. I love gaming and am constantly on my pc playing anything from tabletop sim to WoW. Music wise i'm kind of open to everything tbh, i'm personally listening to hardcore/death metal/black metal.
If any of this seems interesting hmu!
submitted by metaldood19 to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:13 Areces1 Birthday 🎂

May everyone in there life has faced a hard time in there life . Same goes with me . I was born in middle-class family in Nepal .. our family members has a big believe at me . As a only child I got love , care and support from my family members . Let me explain about too. My name is Ritu Shrestha . Talking about my personality I don't talk with many people nor I have many friends . I am a introvert kind of person . Thing incident happened with me . When I use to study at grade 9 .I was quite a brilliant student . Date:Magh 16 . that day was my birthday .. As everyone in the class thought of telling a paranormal story . I was also quite interested in stuff like that .. although I never believe nor saw any ghost at my whole life . After this incident everything changed .. After the school completed I was returning back .. When I went inside my house .. I saw my mom and dad crying .. when I came inside they looked at me in a creepy way .. I also was shocked after seeing them .. boz at this time my parents should be at office .. I didn't asked them a single word and went in my room . But I realised that my parents were still watching me in a creepy way .. I went inside my room and closed the door .. I was scared of their behaviour . As I was going to change my clothes I heard a strange noise outside .. I opened and saw my parents sitting in sofa .. my father told me to make a milk tea .. I hurried and made him the tea as fast as possible .. But when I gave him the tea . He told me to put the tea at the table .. I took my phone which was in charged . As I was moving towards my room .. I saw a call in my phone and pick it up .. There was my mom in the phone .. she told me that they were going to my uncle house .. When I heard that I collapsed .. As I turned my head . I saw my father and mother watching me and smiling in a creepy way .. As I looked at them . My father stood up and looked at me I realised that my father eye has turned black .. As he told me in a creepy sound " Come to your father " .. I was fricked out and hurriedly closed the door .. Both of my parent were banging the door .. And shouting " Open the door sweetie " But as they got louder and louder .. my parents voice turned into a veryyyy loud and creepy voice . I hurried and called my parents .. But I realize I don't have balance to call back .. So I hurried and called the cops .. The lock on the door was also going to broke . Lucky the call was picked by a officer .. he asked me " what happened " ..I didn't have any word to tell .. so I shouted " Help Help me plzz😭😭 .. In a hurry I told him my address .. but before I would complete the full sentence .. The door opened . And my eyes went blank .. After a while I was in my bed .. There were cops . My parents were outside .. As they saw me waking up they came running to me and asked what happened .. I just told them a lie .. that was a theft .. As my parents were talking to the cops .. I saw towards the table and saw a cup .. As I realized .. I saw a shadow towards the hallway .. After that incident I went to my sister house to living . For couple of days. RIGHT now .. I study at grade 12 but that days still Hunt me .. Till now I haven't forgot those creepy sound .. and smile at there face ..
This is me Arces signing off
submitted by Areces1 to shareyourexperi [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:12 Cokewhorecunt Feeling emotional, Grandfather may be the best song of the album🥹

I love the melody and how her voice crescendos when singing the title, the vibe to me feels hopeful and melancholic, I love the lyric “God if you’re near me send me 3 white butterflies…” she truly ate and I peacefully cry🥹
submitted by Cokewhorecunt to lanadelrey [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:12 alex2217 Crime Boss: Rockay City - Review Thread

Game Information

Game Title: Crime Boss: Rockay City
Platforms:
Trailer:
Developer: Ingame Studios
Publisher: 505 Games
Review Aggregator:
OpenCritic - 50 average - 20% recommended - 6 reviews

Critic Reviews

Attack of the Fanboy - Noah Nelson - 3 / 5
Crime Boss: Rockay City's execution isn't revolutionary or exceptional, but its shot at an innovative roguelike campaign is a praiseworthy proof of concept. It might not have the most versatile activities, best gunplay, or first-class writing, but Crime Boss: Rockay City does provide an interesting experience that, like a cheap B-movie, has that certain kind of charm you can't help but enjoy.
Inverse - Corey Plante - 6 / 10
Rockay City has something interesting in its novel campaign structure, and its modest price tag currently discounted to $31.99 makes it an outright bargain. But there’s not enough to appreciate that warrants anybody to stick around for more than a random night with some buddies. The whole project is clearly a loving homage to the glory days of ‘90s action flicks, but the tone-deaf execution misses the mark. But how long can that hold your attention for when your multiplayer game time is far better spent elsewhere?
Screen Rant - Jason Hon - 2.5 / 5
The limited time to play the review build of Crime Boss: Rockay City felt unfinished and needed more gameplay activities and depth. With the game planned to be a live service experience, with more time, developer InGame Studios will hopefully add more features and gameplay mechanics to help the game stand out in the multiplayer shooter genre. There is fun to be had with a team of four friends completing missions together. Still, in its current state, Crime Boss: Rockay City feels like a low-level wannabe criminal trying to get rich quick on a street populated with multiplayer shooters who already do better.
Shacknews - Lucas White - 5 / 10
If the idea of playing a shooter crammed on top of a modern edition of Drug Wars, full of pseudo ironic stunt casting and roguelike gimmicks sounds like a good time, boy do I have a game for you. The only game for you, really. All snark aside I don’t think I’ve ever played a game quite like Crime Boss: Rockay City. It’s a massive swing and a big miss, with enough force to crack the sound barrier while the ball stays in the catcher’s mitt. It’s neither a cynical corporate cringe like Sharknado, nor is it a low-budget dud you’d expect to see a crew of robot puppets heckle. It’s weird, loud and uncanny. Frankly I’m surprised Christopher Walken didn’t show up.
TheGamer - Lex Luddy - 2 / 5
There’s very little you could get out of Crime Boss that you couldn’t get out of Payday 2 next time it comes around in a Steam sale. And besides, I think those masks that “are for pussies” are actually really cool.
Rock, Paper, Shotgun - Alice Bell - Unscored
A sloppy, buggy Payday pretender whose USP of using 90s movie stars is probably the worst thing about it.
submitted by alex2217 to Games [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:11 ibruise-easily Not sure if i’m (24f) being love-bombed by new romantic prospect (26m) or am just used to cruel behavior from ex. Is his nice-ness normal or manipulative? Sorry if this is a dumb question:/

I had a horrible and traumatic past relationship, it was my longest relationship and it ended over a year ago due to him being verbally and mentally abus*ve, he claimed he was like that because of his depression, i “loved” him and stayed for 2 years. I haven’t wanted to date anyone since and honestly didn’t have ANY self esteem or confidence to, my ex killed any and all forms while we were together. Fast forward to now, i’ve worked proactively in rebuilding myself mentally, my self esteem is so much better and i’m mentally feeling loads better. i recently met this amazing guy at a concert. We just automatically clicked, spent the whole night talking and laughing, the next day came and he had to go to work and instead called off to take me on a picnic at the beach, and then we stayed together til the next day when i had to go to work. I know it’s only the beginning but this guy is chivalrous, attentive, funny, genuine, PATIENT, understanding, calm, and has literally gone out of his way to try to make my life easier for me. I’m not used to this at all and there’s a deep dark feeling in me that there’s ulterior motives. I’m just so confused as to why he’s treating me so nicely, like why me? i know this could be remnants of my low self esteem from a year ago but i’m just not sure if this is him love-bombing me or just being a normal loving guy? How does one tell the difference? :(
submitted by ibruise-easily to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:11 JoeYeet13 How to go against wraith?!(!;$$/):$:$/

I’ve been casually playing for a few years now. Not a lot. It’s not my main game. But it seems like I can never … literally ever get out alive against wraith. I’m not horrid at chase, I can usually on average get chased for at least a full gen. it seems like there’s literally zero counter play if I didn’t happen to bring a flashlight which I never do. Everyone says he’s one of the worst killers and I just do not understand. He’s so fkn fast it feels like if he wants to down you he will. Cloak uncloak hit down. Unless I’m in pallet heaven I’m fkd. I DONT. FKSHAJAJDJJWJS UNDERSTAND. PLEASE. HELP. ME.
I run op as fk perks every game too. DH, head on, kindred, fixated. Usually no item (I feel it begs killer to focus you) solo queue. PLZ HELP
submitted by JoeYeet13 to deadbydaylight [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:11 BPlayinMan Newbie Team Building help

So, I was a long time Genshin hater until a week ago I thought I'd give it a real try, and I must say that it actually is great.
The point is tho, talking with some friends who have been playing a long time and looking at the character archive, I found out I don't like most of the "strong" / "meta" characters. So I have some questions for you guys:
1) How much do "strong" characters actually matter? One of my favourite things of single player games is that you can play most of the content however you like, without really being forced into specific builds
2) How much should I care for "perfect" team building? I mean, if I care for reactions, put in a character for each "role" (DPS, support, healer, whatever), do I really have to care that much for perfect combos / compositions?
This is mainly because I have already identified characters I like that I would like to use long-term, and I honestly don't care that much that they are mostly 4-stars (Specifically I just love how Noelle and Beidou feel gameplay-wise)
I know some content requires strong and well designed comps (Spiral Abyss I think), but does it really matter aside from that kind of content?
As a side note, I already have in mind a team I want to build, call it stupid or fucking random built but again, I care about enjoying the gameplay and most of the game is already so fucking easy. The team would be: Beidou / Noelle / Bennett and Dehya or Yae
Yes I know Dehya is kinda shit but hey she looks good, uses a Claymore and reading her abilities looks like she might feel nice to play with
TL;DR: Can I play with whoever I want, even after completing the story, or is pulling broken 5-stars that important?
submitted by BPlayinMan to Genshin_Impact [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:10 Repulsive-Cobbler-46 So I’ve met this girl..

So I’ve met this girl.. and I think she’s the one.
We met on a cold spring night when I was feeling lost and life was feeling chaotic. I had absolutely blown my phone up earlier that day, and if you were to know anything about me that’s a pretty regular occurrence and if I had a therapist she’d probably have something to say about it.
Being new to a big city something urged me to go out that night. I’ve never been scared of going out by myself, and something about it always excited me. I remember flipping a coin between the casino down the road, or a bar about an half hour transit away. An hour later I was 40 dollars up and the urge to go to the bar was still there. I cashed out and followed this urge and made my way.
I was pretty sober so I decided to grab something for the lineup as there was always about an hour wait. I ended up hitting it off with a couple guys in line that I never saw again, the way it normally goes. I love meeting new people especially down to earth people with good energy. I’ve always been super sensitive to peoples energy. I guess some people would call me an empath but I’ve always hated being put in a box.
I finally got in to the bar and headed to the dance floor. For some context I’m that dumb idiot that loves getting everyone involved on the dance floor, the one with unapologetic moves, the one that try’s to bring out as much happiness as I can from everyone around me, I’m definitely a floater. I was there for the fun, and the energy. And that’s where I met this girl. The dance floor.
To take a step back and give you some background so you don’t think I’m absolutely crazy. I’ve had my fair share of relationships. Three relationships all lasting roughly 3 years, all ending because I didn’t want to settle for someone that deep down i knew wasn’t the one. All absolute great connections and beautiful people. Just a mix of mismatched love languages and excessive compromising.
I’ve never believed in love at first sight, but this was something different. It was more of a feeling that this time it was different. Her energy was immaculate and like nothing I’ve experienced before. There was something about her that I just knew, I had a feeling. I could feel our connection before hearing her voice. I’ve never met anyone that matched me on the dance floor, that bounced off me and that I didn’t feel like an absolute idiot with. Ive danced with about 100 different girls, but this was different yes it was sexual but at the same time it wasn’t at all.. we both felt it, our energies intertwining.
I remember standing still, smiling, and just looking at her as the blurry bodies moved around us, asking her where she’s been hiding and that’s he’s my type like some sappy love drunk kid would.
I remember asking her if she wanted something to drink, and she said anything but tequila. I laughed cause I hate tequila and would have had a hard time pretending to keep it down. She wanted a vodka cran, one of my go-to’s. And so our similarities would continue.
My dumb ass gave her my number and we went our ways, both knowing this connection meant more than a one night stand. I woke up the morning after and realized I gave the girl my number with no way of messaging her back. I went to Telus the next day and got a new phone in the hopes of tracking her down. After setting my phone up and downloading all the apps , there she was in my dm’s. Thank god.
We texted for the next couple of days, like middle schoolers under the covers who just got their phones. We hit it off instantly and slowly began to realize we shared more than our love for vodka crans and the dance floor. We both checked off eachothers boxes and started getting uncomfortable with how similar we were.
We decided to to meet up for our first date, both giddy with excitement, nervous cause we hadn’t talked much in person the first night, just danced in each-others energy.
We ended up talking and talking without a hitch. I couldn’t take my eyes off her and I couldn’t keep my smile of my face. I just knew. It felt like I met my match, my mirror.
A few dates followed, and a lot of texting followed. I’ve never met anyone I’ve clicked so fast with. I’ve never connected so fast with anyone before. All the little things she does is what I’ve been missing, the kisses on the cheek, the way she tickles my chest when we’re cuddling and she’s the first one see and appreciate all the small things I do. She feels like my missing puzzle piece.
I know I’m crazy and it’s only been four weeks. I’m just crazy about this girl, I know people, I’ve met a lot of people, I’ve been around a lot of energies but I’ve never met anyone like her. And I just know.
I guess I just want advice, I hope I’m not alone, and I really hope this is how it’s supposed to be. Is hope it’s supposed to be this easy. Is this what it’s like meeting your soulmate?
submitted by Repulsive-Cobbler-46 to creativewriting [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:10 littlebalu123 IBS-D + cramping worse due to fasting and high cortisol?

Hey Guys,
I have a theory and just want to know, if anyone probably has some ecperience regarding this.
My theory is, that for someone who is highly stressed and probably undernourished due to IBS and all the shit it comes with, fasting (skipping breakfast) could actually make them worse.
The body raises cortisol while fasting to break down body fats and protein to keep the blood sugar levels stable. Could this actually lead to leaky gut due to breakdown of gut lining or bacteria consuming the mucus of the gut lining? Could high cortisol increase muscle contraction and therefore lead to more cramping and pain? Additionally I read somewhere that during this process of fasting and high cortisol, mast cells get triggered to release histamine too.
So if all this is true, I really don't see a point why fasting could be benefetial for someone with IBS.
Whats your opinion on this? Do you feel better in the morning with breakfast?
Thanks :)
submitted by littlebalu123 to ibs [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:10 Zamo1010 Methotrexate vs biologics

Hi all! Disclaimer from the get go, I know I need to speak to my rheumy about this and I absolutely will; I am asking questions here beforehand because I've found my rheumy is better with targeted questions than more general/bigger picture questions so I want to make sure I'm asking the right thing when the time comes.
TLDR is I want to ask to switch from MTX to other medication and wondering how best to go about it
In more detail - I've been on MTX for a few years now, since I was first diagnosed. I'm in the UK, where MTX is the default drug and have been told I need to "fail" MTX before they consider other treatment. I don't have other autoimmune diseases or long term conditions beyond RA and am in my late 20s so was diagnosed fairly young.
The pros of MTX are that between that and a couple of steroid injections at the start, my most active inflammation has gone and my condition is pretty stable. I'm very thankful for that. That doesn't mean I don't get flare ups but those seem to be mainly weather related and specific to the hands - though they have been increasing in frequency over the last 6 months. X rays done about 2 years ago showed no further damage to my joints since starting to take it, which again - very grateful for.
The cons are basically everything else that comes with the MTX. I'm already on injections to manage side effects, and have a number of strategies in place to try to make the day after the injection better. These include a big meal before the injection, fasting for most of the next day except for a small/bland dinner as nausea is just too bad to be able to stomach anything, and managing my work around having that day as a non working day. Even with these and other things in place, post injection days are just a wash out, I rarely feel well enough to leave my room let alone the house. I've put up with this quite happily so far as it was better than the pills, which put me out of action for 3 days after taking them, but it's really starting to sink in that I am losing a seventh of my life to this.
I'd like to talk to my specialist about this but don't know how best to frame it. Is "failing methotrexate" also about quality of life or will they only care about whether the RA is under control? If so should I mention that flare ups are getting more common or are weather flare ups just to be expected? Are these side effects beyond what you'd put up with, or do I just need to suck it up? What sort of alternatives might they consider, and what sort of factors will they be weighing around them?
Thanks for any advice, or even just for reading this far
submitted by Zamo1010 to rheumatoid [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:10 violet_lorelei My story

TRIGGERS, and i have ALL POSSIBLE TRIGGERS . . . . . . . . . . . . . Its my mom. I don't know what is her illness but she shows no emotions. Its so painful. I shoe emotions but she is just blank and I feel so lonely and hurt. I am in foreign country. I am 33. She is 65 I think.
I provoked her yesterday to make her sad because when I told her how sad I am amd so, she was blank. Then I provoked her and said things to hurt,I asked are you hurt? She said yes a little. Then i continued asking and after 10min she said she is a little bit more hurt. Then I started to say more hurtful things and then asked again same thing, but then I told her what she caused in my life, and how I hate her and so on she started to cry for brief 15srconds and it started like she was faking it. I haven't heard her cry fir years. She is ok with everything and nothing hurys her, she is Ice Queen. Anyway I was convinced she was mocking me because it sounds like that such a weird cry. Its like her emotions when she says anything about them, they are vague, they are general, short, diminished in words, she never shows emotions and I hurt badly.
My whole life is shit because of her. Trust me. She made bad choises, she didn't protect me when I was 5, she didn't teach me about emotions, she didn't allow me to study art, when I got suicidal she took me to emergency (I was 21). They gave false diagnosis, were horrible and gave me pills that made me stand up in the middke of class because of anxiety .
She was always protective of me but in a kind way, so I never questioned her decisions. She was attached to me because she Divorced my father andy brother didn't like her. I was attached to her because her son sexualy disturbed me when I was 5, and he was sadistic, and continued to insult me through years. She was too emotionally distant to do anything. I got bullied in school and after she transferred to another, I was with grandma after school, and I really liked that, in school I had friends, I was happy, We did art, I loved grandma. I was happy for 1 and half. Then she changed my school again because it was too difficult to travel with me everyday to grandma, and it wasn't that far. What i resent is how lost she was, how she never went to therapy or read a book, or looked into herself, how she didn't care of children because she was emotionally totally distant and non equipped. Then I got bullied, lost, it was shit, my life was shit and destroyed by her decisions and It got worse and worse. It took me years to understand what is going on. I was convinced she was right, I thought she knows best, I just need to endure and try harder. Thats hiw she said. But it never did. I went into abusive relationships, started to dissociate, was depressed, anxious, miserable, forced myself to study a lot. I suffered so much for a long time and she always really loves me but is sick i think. She cant stop meddling a d giving advices. I am and was so angry at her. I realised that late in life and in kung fu classes I was kicking boxing bag so much imagining it was her. I attacked her 2x later in last 2 years. I got diagnosed autistic last year with complex PTSD. I had anxiety and major depression disorded and possibly borderline personality disorder before. I moved to another country 4 years ago. I can't tell you how difficult it was. I was in another abusive relationship and I was in women shelter 2x, I was homeless. Everything I did, I was failure and People treated me like I am monster. Dissociation helped me to survive but its hard. I am lonely I have no family in foreign country. 53 days ago my fiancé broke up until we heal because we self hirt by hitting our head. He couldn't stand it and and wants to go to therapy and me to. Its not healthy to be together when we are so si k because we hurt each other. We had beautiful moments. He made me believe in my career dream. He made me fight fir disability rights. He showed me that I am valuable he gave love with all his heart. He was first man who was kind, loving and accepting in bed. He just loves ne. We had a lot of probles aside and started to sort of abuse each other, he has adhd and was wanting for 5 months to get medication. Then 5 more for appropriate one. And its seems it has negative affect. It changes him. I am also on medication that makes me irritable but nothing else helped so this is obly thing that gets me out of bed and keeps me alive. I have noone to call when I am sad. My mom can't show emotions. I miss him like part of me is gone. I started therapy for nervous system called Safe and sound protocol recently as introduction before starting EDMR. I am waiting for CPT for a year because system has less doctors and a lot of ill people. Meanwhile I found CPT myself and need to wait for it month ago. All therapy costs aaa lot. EDMR costs too. I have scoliosis, and 3 protruded discs, I have shoulder syndrome. I take gabapentin for pain. I went to physio therapy but it is not helping me because i cant make myself do exercises. I met person who dies massages and more inusivw approach. I am taking a lot of moves to heal but uncertain if it will help. I do all alone dezpite being chronically tired. I want to do music and animation it heals but because of depression, executive dysfunction i can't find time to do duoties and have time for art. I am at the end of rope. I am waiting for therapies surving. I have no hope that it will help. I feel so hopeless abd too f up. I found council to help now but its difficult I have noone close to me. I am eother angry to forget how I miss him. Or I go yoga to relax but then I cry. Its ok then but I call mom and she can't help. I feel guilty to block her. I Don't know if he will heal and when, and same for me. Its making me depressed and anxious. I am tired of surviving. I am tired.
submitted by violet_lorelei to CPTSD [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:10 JazzyMcgee Just got out of a ~4 year relationship, moving back to my home city of London, what on earth is dating like there now?

So I (25M) just got out of a 4 year relationship, it was great while it lasted, but she stopped feeling for me.
I currently live in the countryside in the UK (Cornwall) and have done since I was 16, I'm planning on moving back to London with my Mum as the only reason I stayed here was for the ex GF.
I know i'm not ready to date yet and I don't want to until i'm ready, but having never done the dating scene in London i'm not really sure what to expect, or what to expect from "Adult" dating at all. Most of my dates (all be it very few dates in total) where done at university in Cornwall, so I have no idea how dating in London is going to be.
What should I expect, know, and be wary of about the London dating scene, and if you have any advice on what dating as an actual proper adult is like (rather than as just a student) I need all the help I can get.
For context, I have a fairly alright job, but will be changing careers once I move back to London for a fresh start, am on the chubbier side, but losing weight fast, average height, average looks, and have a lot of hobbies.
I can't wait to be back in my home city, with my friends and family that I havent spent proper time with in years, but the thought of trying to date with little to no experience of it in London is a concern.
Thanks for the help
submitted by JazzyMcgee to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:09 Unable-Ad3978 [NB4A] A Twilight (me) x Yor (you) roleplay.

Greetings!
Before I get into the prompt that I have in mind, I would love to tell you a bit about myself.
I go by Lychee online - I'm currently 19 with 10+ years of roleplay experience (and I've recently delved into the erotic side of things). I generally prefer canon x canon pairings, as I find it easier to engage with pre-existing characters from various medias. I also typically roleplay via Discord, so if interested send me a chat.
One of my absolute favourite ships of all-time is TwiYor (Loid ForgeTwilight x Yor Forger), and it's very difficult to find people who are willing to play the latter in a roleplay, haha. I'd do it myself but I feel far more comfortable in my characterisation of Loid than I do Yor.
Of course, if you dislike the below prompt but still wish to roleplay with me, then I would be more than happy to work something else out with you!
Anyway, without further ado, I'll finally shut up and get to the roleplay prompt/starter below!

Studious? Loid was the very definition of the word.
An A* student, on the honor roll, track to graduate summa cum laude - what else was there to achieve academically? He had devoted himself to his studies, and through his sheer determination and will, had found himself at the university on a scholarship himself - albeit, his arose from his brain rather than his athleticism, though that wasn't lacking either. Extracurricular activies helped him to develop his physique - yoga and exercise made sure he was in good form. Though, he was merely above-average at best.
Nevertheless, being regarded as one of the brightest students at the university was both positive and negative - the students respected him, both due to his intellect and his amicable personality - he was rather easy to get along with, as long as you were respectful. He kept a few close friends at his side occasionally - Franky Franklin and Sylvia Sherwood - both people who had gained his trust already within the school. He could be seen with them, usually.
When it came to the program for helping struggling students, Loid was opted into it by the former friend - Franky, who loved to prank people. Now, it was an awkward position. He could improve his GPA by a not-insignificant amount, but it would take what little free time he had left.
The odd hours at which Loid worked had earned him the nickname 'Twilight'. He was often up at the time, studying his heart out or performing some task to do with his education - no matter what, he didn't sleep until his body forced itself to. The man stared at the email he had received from a Ms. Yor Briar, a student in the same year as him. She shared one class - nothing special about her grades, but he had heard many tales about her brute strength and athleticism. Oftentimes, broken equipment would be reported by her due to how aggressive she was with it - these were just rumors, granted, but it still was a little terrifying to think of.
A response was drafted;
Dear Ms. Briar,
I am happy to know that you considered me as an option to tutor you. I am afraid, however, my schedule is quite hectic - I may only be able to tutor you in the later hours of the day.
If you find that acceptable, then I would be more than happy to lend my assistance.
Best wishes,
Loid Forger.

That is a post from an AU where Loid and Yor are in their college years and attend the same academy - Loid on an academic scholarship, whereas Yor is on a sports scholarship. One of the conditions for Yor's scholarship is that she must maintain her grades at a passing level, but has been struggling to do so recently, so her coach has offered a choice of the academy's top students to assist in her studies so she can remain in the school.
What's in it for Loid? Extra credit.

If you find this interesting at all, or simply just want to roleplay with me in a different fandom, please just send me a message! I play any gender, but depending on the fandom I do have my character preferences.
Hope to see you all message me soon!
submitted by Unable-Ad3978 to discordroleplay [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:08 Automatic_Scar_5762 I fucked up by being stupid. Help me fix it.

Okay. So I am in a different city for my University and I have no intentions of moving back home.
Out of the blue my mother wants to visit me. In the past too she wanted to visit me, and I always made excuses. I don't know whay I just didn't want her to visit me.
This time she seemed adamant on her visit and to de-escalate the situation I suggested that we go for a holiday somewhere else instead. (Lmao my brain) thinking that a neutral place wouldn't lead to much conflicts.
The catch is, I love my mother but I am always on eggshells around her. Her emotions are unpredictable, her love for me on conditions, her anger resulting in physical hurt and silent treatment.
I have only ever done things that she approved of, to the point I no longer knew what I ever wanted.
Now that I want to live life on my own terms, I feel horrible around her. I usually don't share anything from my life, as usual she would disapprove of it, which is why I spent less time with her.
This life I have in the university, I built it from scratch on my own decisions. It's mine and I don't want to share it with her.
But now I fucked up by suggesting a vacation, not realizing that I would be in close proximity with her.
How do I make this vacation not an emotional shit show.
submitted by Automatic_Scar_5762 to TwoXIndia [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:08 throwra78836 19f 19m sex addictive bf?

so i just need some advice on what to actually do in this situation?? - in our religion sex before marriage is forbidden. - me and my boyfriend lost our virginity to each other. - my boyfriend wants sex atleast once a week he says. we’re very sexually active, he refuses to wear a condom which i understand from his pov. - he doesn’t want to go to places in our home town together incase people see us because we’re “not married” however he doesn’t mind having sex even though we’re “not married” this doesn’t make sense to me at all. - the days where i don’t want sex and say no we still have sex. he always makes it about his needs and i feel like he doesn’t consider what i want. - we only go to places that he wants to go to. if i ask to go somewhere there’s a 100 different excuses as to why we can’t go there and what could possibly happen. (his most used is that his dad will see us, idk how his dad is everywhere at once but ok i guess) -overall i feel like i’m just being used for sex. he has told his friends about us as have i. overall i rlly love him and we have a future planned, even to go to university together but i feel hidden away in the relationship like is he ashamed of me? i just need some clarity and for someone to tell me what they think from their own point of view. thankyou
submitted by throwra78836 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:08 violet_lorelei My story

TRIGGERS . . . . . . . . . . . . . Its my mom. I don't know what is her illness but she shows no emotions. Its so painful. I shoe emotions but she is just blank and I feel so lonely and hurt. I am in foreign country. I am 33. She is 65 I think.
I provoked her yesterday to make her sad because when I told her how sad I am amd so, she was blank. Then I provoked her and said things to hurt,I asked are you hurt? She said yes a little. Then i continued asking and after 10min she said she is a little bit more hurt. Then I started to say more hurtful things and then asked again same thing, but then I told her what she caused in my life, and how I hate her and so on she started to cry for brief 15srconds and it started like she was faking it. I haven't heard her cry fir years. She is ok with everything and nothing hurys her, she is Ice Queen. Anyway I was convinced she was mocking me because it sounds like that such a weird cry. Its like her emotions when she says anything about them, they are vague, they are general, short, diminished in words, she never shows emotions and I hurt badly.
My whole life is shit because of her. Trust me. She made bad choises, she didn't protect me when I was 5, she didn't teach me about emotions, she didn't allow me to study art, when I got suicidal she took me to emergency (I was 21). They gave false diagnosis, were horrible and gave me pills that made me stand up in the middke of class because of anxiety .
She was always protective of me but in a kind way, so I never questioned her decisions. She was attached to me because she Divorced my father andy brother didn't like her. I was attached to her because her son sexualy disturbed me when I was 5, and he was sadistic, and continued to insult me through years. She was too emotionally distant to do anything. I got bullied in school and after she transferred to another, I was with grandma after school, and I really liked that, in school I had friends, I was happy, We did art, I loved grandma. I was happy for 1 and half. Then she changed my school again because it was too difficult to travel with me everyday to grandma, and it wasn't that far. What i resent is how lost she was, how she never went to therapy or read a book, or looked into herself, how she didn't care of children because she was emotionally totally distant and non equipped. Then I got bullied, lost, it was shit, my life was shit and destroyed by her decisions and It got worse and worse. It took me years to understand what is going on. I was convinced she was right, I thought she knows best, I just need to endure and try harder. Thats hiw she said. But it never did. I went into abusive relationships, started to dissociate, was depressed, anxious, miserable, forced myself to study a lot. I suffered so much for a long time and she always really loves me but is sick i think. She cant stop meddling a d giving advices. I am and was so angry at her. I realised that late in life and in kung fu classes I was kicking boxing bag so much imagining it was her. I attacked her 2x later in last 2 years. I got diagnosed autistic last year with complex PTSD. I had anxiety and major depression disorded and possibly borderline personality disorder before. I moved to another country 4 years ago. I can't tell you how difficult it was. I was in another abusive relationship and I was in women shelter 2x, I was homeless. Everything I did, I was failure and People treated me like I am monster. Dissociation helped me to survive but its hard. I am lonely I have no family in foreign country. 53 days ago my fiancé broke up until we heal because we self hirt by hitting our head. He couldn't stand it and and wants to go to therapy and me to. Its not healthy to be together when we are so si k because we hurt each other. We had beautiful moments. He made me believe in my career dream. He made me fight fir disability rights. He showed me that I am valuable he gave love with all his heart. He was first man who was kind, loving and accepting in bed. He just loves ne. We had a lot of probles aside and started to sort of abuse each other, he has adhd and was wanting for 5 months to get medication. Then 5 more for appropriate one. And its seems it has negative affect. It changes him. I am also on medication that makes me irritable but nothing else helped so this is obly thing that gets me out of bed and keeps me alive. I have noone to call when I am sad. My mom can't show emotions. I miss him like part of me is gone. I started therapy for nervous system called Safe and sound protocol recently as introduction before starting EDMR. I am waiting for CPT for a year because system has less doctors and a lot of ill people. Meanwhile I found CPT myself and need to wait for it month ago. All therapy costs aaa lot. EDMR costs too. I have scoliosis, and 3 protruded discs, I have shoulder syndrome. I take gabapentin for pain. I went to physio therapy but it is not helping me because i cant make myself do exercises. I met person who dies massages and more inusivw approach. I am taking a lot of moves to heal but uncertain if it will help. I do all alone dezpite being chronically tired. I want to do music and animation it heals but because of depression, executive dysfunction i can't find time to do duoties and have time for art. I am at the end of rope. I am waiting for therapies surving. I have no hope that it will help. I feel so hopeless abd too f up. I found council to help now but its difficult I have noone close to me. I am eother angry to forget how I miss him. Or I go yoga to relax but then I cry. Its ok then but I call mom and she can't help. I feel guilty to block her. I Don't know if he will heal and when, and same for me. Its making me depressed and anxious. I am tired of surviving. I am tired.
submitted by violet_lorelei to lonely [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:07 violet_lorelei My story

TRIGGERS . . . . . . . . . . . . . Its my mom. I don't know what is her illness but she shows no emotions. Its so painful. I shoe emotions but she is just blank and I feel so lonely and hurt. I am in foreign country. I am 33. She is 65 I think.
I provoked her yesterday to make her sad because when I told her how sad I am amd so, she was blank. Then I provoked her and said things to hurt,I asked are you hurt? She said yes a little. Then i continued asking and after 10min she said she is a little bit more hurt. Then I started to say more hurtful things and then asked again same thing, but then I told her what she caused in my life, and how I hate her and so on she started to cry for brief 15srconds and it started like she was faking it. I haven't heard her cry fir years. She is ok with everything and nothing hurys her, she is Ice Queen. Anyway I was convinced she was mocking me because it sounds like that such a weird cry. Its like her emotions when she says anything about them, they are vague, they are general, short, diminished in words, she never shows emotions and I hurt badly.
My whole life is shit because of her. Trust me. She made bad choises, she didn't protect me when I was 5, she didn't teach me about emotions, she didn't allow me to study art, when I got suicidal she took me to emergency (I was 21). They gave false diagnosis, were horrible and gave me pills that made me stand up in the middke of class because of anxiety .
She was always protective of me but in a kind way, so I never questioned her decisions. She was attached to me because she Divorced my father andy brother didn't like her. I was attached to her because her son sexualy disturbed me when I was 5, and he was sadistic, and continued to insult me through years. She was too emotionally distant to do anything. I got bullied in school and after she transferred to another, I was with grandma after school, and I really liked that, in school I had friends, I was happy, We did art, I loved grandma. I was happy for 1 and half. Then she changed my school again because it was too difficult to travel with me everyday to grandma, and it wasn't that far. What i resent is how lost she was, how she never went to therapy or read a book, or looked into herself, how she didn't care of children because she was emotionally totally distant and non equipped. Then I got bullied, lost, it was shit, my life was shit and destroyed by her decisions and It got worse and worse. It took me years to understand what is going on. I was convinced she was right, I thought she knows best, I just need to endure and try harder. Thats hiw she said. But it never did. I went into abusive relationships, started to dissociate, was depressed, anxious, miserable, forced myself to study a lot. I suffered so much for a long time and she always really loves me but is sick i think. She cant stop meddling a d giving advices. I am and was so angry at her. I realised that late in life and in kung fu classes I was kicking boxing bag so much imagining it was her. I attacked her 2x later in last 2 years. I got diagnosed autistic last year with complex PTSD. I had anxiety and major depression disorded and possibly borderline personality disorder before. I moved to another country 4 years ago. I can't tell you how difficult it was. I was in another abusive relationship and I was in women shelter 2x, I was homeless. Everything I did, I was failure and People treated me like I am monster. Dissociation helped me to survive but its hard. I am lonely I have no family in foreign country. 53 days ago my fiancé broke up until we heal because we self hirt by hitting our head. He couldn't stand it and and wants to go to therapy and me to. Its not healthy to be together when we are so si k because we hurt each other. We had beautiful moments. He made me believe in my career dream. He made me fight fir disability rights. He showed me that I am valuable he gave love with all his heart. He was first man who was kind, loving and accepting in bed. He just loves ne. We had a lot of probles aside and started to sort of abuse each other, he has adhd and was wanting for 5 months to get medication. Then 5 more for appropriate one. And its seems it has negative affect. It changes him. I am also on medication that makes me irritable but nothing else helped so this is obly thing that gets me out of bed and keeps me alive. I have noone to call when I am sad. My mom can't show emotions. I miss him like part of me is gone. I started therapy for nervous system called Safe and sound protocol recently as introduction before starting EDMR. I am waiting for CPT for a year because system has less doctors and a lot of ill people. Meanwhile I found CPT myself and need to wait for it month ago. All therapy costs aaa lot. EDMR costs too. I have scoliosis, and 3 protruded discs, I have shoulder syndrome. I take gabapentin for pain. I went to physio therapy but it is not helping me because i cant make myself do exercises. I met person who dies massages and more inusivw approach. I am taking a lot of moves to heal but uncertain if it will help. I do all alone dezpite being chronically tired. I want to do music and animation it heals but because of depression, executive dysfunction i can't find time to do duoties and have time for art. I am at the end of rope. I am waiting for therapies surving. I have no hope that it will help. I feel so hopeless abd too f up. I found council to help now but its difficult I have noone close to me. I am eother angry to forget how I miss him. Or I go yoga to relax but then I cry. Its ok then but I call mom and she can't help. I feel guilty to block her. I Don't know if he will heal and when, and same for me. Its making me depressed and anxious. I am tired of surviving. I am tired.
submitted by violet_lorelei to depression [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:07 violet_lorelei My story

TRIGGERS . . . . . . . . . . . . . Its my mom. I don't know what is her illness but she shows no emotions. Its so painful. I shoe emotions but she is just blank and I feel so lonely and hurt. I am in foreign country. I am 33. She is 65 I think.
I provoked her yesterday to make her sad because when I told her how sad I am amd so, she was blank. Then I provoked her and said things to hurt,I asked are you hurt? She said yes a little. Then i continued asking and after 10min she said she is a little bit more hurt. Then I started to say more hurtful things and then asked again same thing, but then I told her what she caused in my life, and how I hate her and so on she started to cry for brief 15srconds and it started like she was faking it. I haven't heard her cry fir years. She is ok with everything and nothing hurys her, she is Ice Queen. Anyway I was convinced she was mocking me because it sounds like that such a weird cry. Its like her emotions when she says anything about them, they are vague, they are general, short, diminished in words, she never shows emotions and I hurt badly.
My whole life is shit because of her. Trust me. She made bad choises, she didn't protect me when I was 5, she didn't teach me about emotions, she didn't allow me to study art, when I got suicidal she took me to emergency (I was 21). They gave false diagnosis, were horrible and gave me pills that made me stand up in the middke of class because of anxiety .
She was always protective of me but in a kind way, so I never questioned her decisions. She was attached to me because she Divorced my father andy brother didn't like her. I was attached to her because her son sexualy disturbed me when I was 5, and he was sadistic, and continued to insult me through years. She was too emotionally distant to do anything. I got bullied in school and after she transferred to another, I was with grandma after school, and I really liked that, in school I had friends, I was happy, We did art, I loved grandma. I was happy for 1 and half. Then she changed my school again because it was too difficult to travel with me everyday to grandma, and it wasn't that far. What i resent is how lost she was, how she never went to therapy or read a book, or looked into herself, how she didn't care of children because she was emotionally totally distant and non equipped. Then I got bullied, lost, it was shit, my life was shit and destroyed by her decisions and It got worse and worse. It took me years to understand what is going on. I was convinced she was right, I thought she knows best, I just need to endure and try harder. Thats hiw she said. But it never did. I went into abusive relationships, started to dissociate, was depressed, anxious, miserable, forced myself to study a lot. I suffered so much for a long time and she always really loves me but is sick i think. She cant stop meddling a d giving advices. I am and was so angry at her. I realised that late in life and in kung fu classes I was kicking boxing bag so much imagining it was her. I attacked her 2x later in last 2 years. I got diagnosed autistic last year with complex PTSD. I had anxiety and major depression disorded and possibly borderline personality disorder before. I moved to another country 4 years ago. I can't tell you how difficult it was. I was in another abusive relationship and I was in women shelter 2x, I was homeless. Everything I did, I was failure and People treated me like I am monster. Dissociation helped me to survive but its hard. I am lonely I have no family in foreign country. 53 days ago my fiancé broke up until we heal because we self hirt by hitting our head. He couldn't stand it and and wants to go to therapy and me to. Its not healthy to be together when we are so si k because we hurt each other. We had beautiful moments. He made me believe in my career dream. He made me fight fir disability rights. He showed me that I am valuable he gave love with all his heart. He was first man who was kind, loving and accepting in bed. He just loves ne. We had a lot of probles aside and started to sort of abuse each other, he has adhd and was wanting for 5 months to get medication. Then 5 more for appropriate one. And its seems it has negative affect. It changes him. I am also on medication that makes me irritable but nothing else helped so this is obly thing that gets me out of bed and keeps me alive. I have noone to call when I am sad. My mom can't show emotions. I miss him like part of me is gone. I started therapy for nervous system called Safe and sound protocol recently as introduction before starting EDMR. I am waiting for CPT for a year because system has less doctors and a lot of ill people. Meanwhile I found CPT myself and need to wait for it month ago. All therapy costs aaa lot. EDMR costs too. I have scoliosis, and 3 protruded discs, I have shoulder syndrome. I take gabapentin for pain. I went to physio therapy but it is not helping me because i cant make myself do exercises. I met person who dies massages and more inusivw approach. I am taking a lot of moves to heal but uncertain if it will help. I do all alone dezpite being chronically tired. I want to do music and animation it heals but because of depression, executive dysfunction i can't find time to do duoties and have time for art. I am at the end of rope. I am waiting for therapies surving. I have no hope that it will help. I feel so hopeless abd too f up. I found council to help now but its difficult I have noone close to me. I am eother angry to forget how I miss him. Or I go yoga to relax but then I cry. Its ok then but I call mom and she can't help. I feel guilty to block her. I Don't know if he will heal and when, and same for me. Its making me depressed and anxious. I am tired of surviving. I am tired.
submitted by violet_lorelei to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:06 Agreeable-Ad-7115 I believe I am demisexual I need advice

I need sexual/relationship advise....
I 20(m) recently discovered the term demisexual and I want to tell my story and hopefully be able to find anyone who can relate or get advice
I got my first girlfriend in 2019 when I was 16 ill call her becky. we would hang out, make out, and stuff like that and at first I couldn't maintain an errection or sometimes even get one. but the more we hung out the more i developed feelings for her on an emotional level once i developed feelings for her we had a great sex life so i never really questioned why I wasn't sexually engaged at first. In the first year or so we were off and on again and during that time I attempted to sleep around with other girls but I couldn't find the attraction and no matter what I would do with them I wouldn't get irrect or even be in a mood to do anything. And it started affecting me mentally I was depressed that I wasn't normal and couldn't get hard when I was with a girl like what's wrong with me? me and Becky got together fully and I never understood why when I was with her everything worked with no issues but not with any other girl. Our relationship ened at the end of 2022. After our breakup I was completely lost and depressed because at this point I still didnt know why I couldnt have casual sex with any girl and Becky is the only girl I've ever been with sexually. I've recently started dating a new girl I have had the same experience as when i was 16 I've thought about social anxiety as a cause or e.d but i feel when I have an emotional connection with someone I have a sexual attraction as well. And its like I physically can't get hard for just any girl.. but when i was in love i had no issues. I've never met anyone who's been able to relate to me and sometimes its difficult to deal with alone. Ive recently learned the term demisexual and its really changed my viewpoint and really explained alot for me. I've talked to my current girl about not being ready for sex yet and she's very supportive and doesn't try to force anything and she's says that when I'm ready she'll be ready. Sex just feels like a extremely personal thing and I cannot do it with just anybody.
submitted by Agreeable-Ad-7115 to Advice [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:06 violet_lorelei I am beyond tired..

TRIGGERS . . . . . . . . . . . . . Its my mom. I don't know what is her illness but she shows no emotions. Its so painful. I shoe emotions but she is just blank and I feel so lonely and hurt. I am in foreign country. I am 33. She is 65 I think.
I provoked her yesterday to make her sad because when I told her how sad I am amd so, she was blank. Then I provoked her and said things to hurt,I asked are you hurt? She said yes a little. Then i continued asking and after 10min she said she is a little bit more hurt. Then I started to say more hurtful things and then asked again same thing, but then I told her what she caused in my life, and how I hate her and so on she started to cry for brief 15srconds and it started like she was faking it. I haven't heard her cry fir years. She is ok with everything and nothing hurys her, she is Ice Queen. Anyway I was convinced she was mocking me because it sounds like that such a weird cry. Its like her emotions when she says anything about them, they are vague, they are general, short, diminished in words, she never shows emotions and I hurt badly.
My whole life is shit because of her. Trust me. She made bad choises, she didn't protect me when I was 5, she didn't teach me about emotions, she didn't allow me to study art, when I got suicidal she took me to emergency (I was 21). They gave false diagnosis, were horrible and gave me pills that made me stand up in the middke of class because of anxiety .
She was always protective of me but in a kind way, so I never questioned her decisions. She was attached to me because she Divorced my father andy brother didn't like her. I was attached to her because her son sexualy disturbed me when I was 5, and he was sadistic, and continued to insult me through years. She was too emotionally distant to do anything. I got bullied in school and after she transferred to another, I was with grandma after school, and I really liked that, in school I had friends, I was happy, We did art, I loved grandma. I was happy for 1 and half. Then she changed my school again because it was too difficult to travel with me everyday to grandma, and it wasn't that far. What i resent is how lost she was, how she never went to therapy or read a book, or looked into herself, how she didn't care of children because she was emotionally totally distant and non equipped. Then I got bullied, lost, it was shit, my life was shit and destroyed by her decisions and It got worse and worse. It took me years to understand what is going on. I was convinced she was right, I thought she knows best, I just need to endure and try harder. Thats hiw she said. But it never did. I went into abusive relationships, started to dissociate, was depressed, anxious, miserable, forced myself to study a lot. I suffered so much for a long time and she always really loves me but is sick i think. She cant stop meddling a d giving advices. I am and was so angry at her. I realised that late in life and in kung fu classes I was kicking boxing bag so much imagining it was her. I attacked her 2x later in last 2 years. I got diagnosed autistic last year with complex PTSD. I had anxiety and major depression disorded and possibly borderline personality disorder before. I moved to another country 4 years ago. I can't tell you how difficult it was. I was in another abusive relationship and I was in women shelter 2x, I was homeless. Everything I did, I was failure and People treated me like I am monster. Dissociation helped me to survive but its hard. I am lonely I have no family in foreign country. 53 days ago my fiancé broke up until we heal because we self hirt by hitting our head. He couldn't stand it and and wants to go to therapy and me to. Its not healthy to be together when we are so si k because we hurt each other. We had beautiful moments. He made me believe in my career dream. He made me fight fir disability rights. He showed me that I am valuable he gave love with all his heart. He was first man who was kind, loving and accepting in bed. He just loves ne. We had a lot of probles aside and started to sort of abuse each other, he has adhd and was wanting for 5 months to get medication. Then 5 more for appropriate one. And its seems it has negative affect. It changes him. I am also on medication that makes me irritable but nothing else helped so this is obly thing that gets me out of bed and keeps me alive. I have noone to call when I am sad. My mom can't show emotions. I miss him like part of me is gone. I started therapy for nervous system called Safe and sound protocol recently as introduction before starting EDMR. I am waiting for CPT for a year because system has less doctors and a lot of ill people. Meanwhile I found CPT myself and need to wait for it month ago. All therapy costs aaa lot. EDMR costs too. I have scoliosis, and 3 protruded discs, I have shoulder syndrome. I take gabapentin for pain. I went to physio therapy but it is not helping me because i cant make myself do exercises. I met person who dies massages and more inusivw approach. I am taking a lot of moves to heal but uncertain if it will help. I do all alone dezpite being chronically tired. I want to do music and animation it heals but because of depression, executive dysfunction i can't find time to do duoties and have time for art. I am at the end of rope. I am waiting for therapies surving. I have no hope that it will help. I feel so hopeless abd too f up. I found council to help now but its difficult I have noone close to me. I am eother angry to forget how I miss him. Or I go yoga to relax but then I cry. Its ok then but I call mom and she can't help. I feel guilty to block her. I Don't know if he will heal and when, and same for me. Its making me depressed and anxious. I am tired of surviving. I am tired.
submitted by violet_lorelei to EMDR [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:06 2000sKidLovesToDraw Hey you there,

You know, I've been thinking a lot about suicide lately, I am slowly getting out of my suicidal state. So now ,I read a post on a 14 year old, he took a bottle of pills just two hours ago. I'm unsure if he is alive. It scares me a lot. What goes so wrong in life that we want to end it so short? I've been suicidal for over 2 years. This has been a really big problem all over the world. I really want to change all that. The kid had posted saying he took the pills, It just made a sudden change in my heart that I really don't want to kill myself anymore. I want to get my life back on track, I want to help the suicidal, I want to do so many things to make them so happy. I don't want them to leave, I want them to stay and rethink what they are doing. People repeat the phrases "Life is precious, so just hold on" "Life is worth living so cherish it." etc. The thing is that the phrases are repeated so often, that it seems as if they are just "Words" being said because they have to. I cant speak for all suicidal people, but that's not what they want to hear. They need words with meaning to them. They need someone there for them, someone that will hear their Needs. My mom was suicidal once. She was pregnant at the time back in 97. She looked up and had said "Lord, I want to kill myself, but I have a kid with me. What do I do?" She wanted to kill herself,she was so tired,she was stressed, Living that Burning hell. She kept saying "I don't want to do this to myself. I can't end another person's life because of what I've gone through." My mom found her reason to live. Her daughters. We can't live without a reason, right? Then we would be invisible to this world. Everyone was born for a reason, but suicide prevents you to find your purpose in your life. Those thoughts going through your head, it's foggy, it's like a dark cloud of weight that won't leave you alone. It's very stressful, I understand. Picture this, You have a cloud that follows you around, when too many bad things get into the cloud it turns Pitch black. Now to have your cloud Fully white again, you have to take piece by piece of the black covering its bright light. It takes a while to remove it all completely. Now once the cloud is white you feel relieved that it's over with, now you can rest easy. The cloud is like your brain, So many negative things got in there that you were unable to see what was really there before. Everyone has a talent, everyone has a goal. Do not let that negative energy take away what you can really do in this world. I know you are probably thinking "I don't have the energy for it." or "I just can't." Believe me you won't get all that energy in 1 second. It takes time and effort to pull yourself out from that hell. Uncontrolled suicidal thoughts, low self esteem, self harming. Now about self harming, What good will it do to you? It wont ease the pain you feel, it will only make it worse for you. you are telling your brain that Hurting yourself is okay and that seeing yourself in pain is okay. Low self esteem? Do not worry. remember it takes time for you to love yourself. It could take years, months, weeks, to love who you really are. Now you probably think years are too long. Yeah it really is, and it sucks. But hey that's just how time works. You can't have things happen instantly. Now suicidal thoughts. It's painful isn't it? Now when you think about it, remember the imaginary cloud you have at all times. It's late now I will write more tomorrow for you. Please take care of your cloud, he's a part of you. I love you all. take care.
submitted by 2000sKidLovesToDraw to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]


2023.03.29 11:06 Obvious-Entertainer9 Am I a person who is jinxed throughout the life?

Hi everyone,
Tl;dr- MIL who lives with us is constantly nitpicking, fighting and not able to accept me probably and we are in a situation where we can't find a way out.
I have a had pretty rough childhood with a bad family situation and was really looking forward to getting married and setting up my family by undoing all the bad things that happened when I was growing up.
I got married 2 years back and my husband's mom is a single mom and my husband and I discussed about living together since she can't live alone. And I felt that she is open minded and modern as well, so it should be fine. But immediately after marriage, there hasn't been a single day without any taunt/tantrum/argument/fight from her. From extremely small things to big issues as well. She tries to make it a point that my husband has changed after marriage and he is a bad son now. He has become selfish and she doesn't get value in our lives. She sits and cries at random times without any reason and doesn't talk properly for days at length. She doesn't like anything cooked by me. She doesnt like me asking my husband to contribute to house chores. I can go on and on about the issues. I give equally to the house, every single rupees is given half half by me and my husband. But I get zero respect and constant anxiety. I really don't know what's the way out. We tried talking and discussing but ultimately no improvement. I feel so bad for myself everyday. I get panic attacks. I feel disturbed and low. And I just blame my fate for this.
I really love my husband to the core but I cannot continue like this and I feel he also is suffering a lot because of this. I just feel like giving up on our marriage and live alone how I was living before our wedding. I haven't been able to feel any happiness of a newly married woman, it reflects on our marital life too. I am always sad and it feels my dreams are just shattered and I am gonna be stuck in this situation lifelong. Please suggest me how can I handle this situation better else I just feel like giving up on us now.
submitted by Obvious-Entertainer9 to TwoXIndia [link] [comments]