reasons why I chose the countries for the Empire SMP members
​
Scott: China
Reason: while Scott settled in a meadow biome i chose china bc It Has The Most Meadows
​
False: Finland
Reason: Her Empire Is Based On Nordic Culture
​
fWhip: Germany
reason: The Origin Of Goblins Came From The German Folk Tale Of Kobolds
​
Joey: Caribbean Sea
reason: the Caribbean sea matches his empire
​
Katherine: New Zealand
reason: she has a lot of animals in her empire and in New Zealand, there are more cows than humans in New Zealand
​
LDShadowLady: Canada
reason: birch trees are quite abundant in Canada
​
MythicalSausage: Brazil
Reason: The nation has the most plants
​
OrionSound: Indonesia
Reason: The Country Has The Most Beaches
​
Pixlriffs: Kenya
Reason: I forgot
​
Shubble: United Kingdom
Reason: The Witch Legend Began In Wales
SmallishBeans: Greece
Reason: his empire is based on Greek culture
​
Solidarity: Mexico
Reason: The traditional cowboy begins with Spanish tradition
​
Gem: Japan
Reason: Her Empire Is Based On The Meaning Of The Country Name Of Japan "The Rising Sun"

Empires SMP if they were in real life (based on empires/culture)
​
Scott: China
False: Finland
fWhip: Germany
Joey: Caribbean Sea
Katherine: New Zealand
LDShadowLady: Canada
MythicalSausage: Brazil
OrionSound: Indonesia
Pixlriffs: Kenya
Shubble: United Kingdom
SmallishBeans: Greece
Solidarity: Malaysia

Tuesday morning so its time for an early watch of the early drop of Superchef Grudge Match on Discovery Plus. This, along with TOC, are my favorite shows on Food Network right now and are tiding me over until the next season of Top Chef begins in March. With that said, there are two good matches I've been looking forward to: Round one is Marcel Vigneron vs. Shirley Chung -- both Top Chef alums. I've been a fan of Marcel since season 2 of Top Chef. And frankly, it's hard not to fall in love with Shirley's food and personality. She was recently on an episode of Mythical Kitchen on youtube and was just hilarious. Round 2 is Adam Pawlak and Declan Horan who were together in a season of Hell's Kitchen. What follows is a description of the grudges, the knives and the food. I won't spoil who won the rounds -- but spoilers could appear in the comments, so read on at your own risk.
Round one: Marcel vs. Shirley. The grudge: On Tournament of Champions Marcel took issue with a trash talking statement Shirley made. He says Shirley was talking about his kid because Marcel was competing against her on TOC on Marcel's son's first birthday. Okay this is pretty light weight as far as a grudge goes. I can't see this as being any sort of serious beef. It's obvious these two are friendly to each other. Oh nicknames are the Wolf for Marcel (makes sense he had a restaurant named that) and Mafia Dumpling Queen for Shirley. Apparently Dumpling Mafia is the name of her restaurant. The knives: Marcel brings a knife he was given on The View by Rosie O'Donnell that is a Clasic 7" VG-Max Super Steel Blade. Shirley brings a knife she had in culinary school, a Classic Ikon Wusthof 8" Double Bolster Design.
Marcel brings cottage cheese as a secret ingredient ....he introduces it like the Chairman does on Iron Chef America ... that was kind of funny. Shirley brought Dang Gui, also called the female ginseng .. an earthy aromatic herb. Marcel says he's never used it. Darnell requires them to make a Global Dish that is a soup and sandwich using both mystery ingredients in 30 minutes.
The dishes: Marcel is making a Tom Yum Soup with deep fried spot prawns and an international grilled cheese sandwich. Shirley is making a veal and Dang Gui Dumpling soup with a vegetarian italian grilled mushroom sandwich. Now we get to watch some cooking with a lot of explanations. I do enjoy how this competition show has so much cooking and descriptions of the steps they are taking. I also like how creative these two chefs are being with secret ingredient. The Judges come out: Antonia LaFaso and Carlos Anthony. Both competitors are having fun with the audience. Marcel's dish is presented first. Not a blind judging. Antonia says she isn't tasting the Dang Gui in the sandwich. Both judges love the soup but again Antonia says she's not getting Dang Gui in the soup either. Shirley's dish is up second. Marcel, as much as I love him, is doing some trash talking. Carlos like the use of the cottage cheese in the soup and tasted a lot of the Dang Gui. Both judges seemed to like the dishes.... I wish they would have spent more time on judge's comments. Scoringto is 20 points on taste, 20 points use of ingredients and 10 points for presentation. The scores are 43 to 45. Okay..... pay attention when they show the scoring graphic..... it appears to me they have the points on the wrong chef's side. Very odd glitch here. The chefs hug it out, they've known each other 10 years, so this was definitely a friendly one.
Round Two: The Hell's Kitchen redemptin round. Adam vs. Declan. The grudge: On HK, they were good friends and when Adam's team put him up for elimination, Declan didn't object to it so Adam felt betrayed by his friend. I remember this season and this elimination. Adam was good, but I really liked Declan. (Could just be his fun Irish accent) The knives: Adam puts up a knife he received from his mentor back in Milwaukee. It's an 8" Damascus steel with an oak handle. Declan puts up a Kikuichi, a Japanese brand he uses. And he has a line of them coming out in the future. It's a 10 inch high carbon steel with a curved blade.
The secret ingredients: Adam brings Serrano peppers. Declan brings 'Nduja which is a Calabrian smoked pork sausage. (Think kind of like a spreadable chorizo). Darnell tells them they must make an elevated diner classic with both ingredients in 30 minutes.
The dishes: Adam is making an elevated steak and eggs dish with 'nduja butter sauce and crispy serrano hash. Declan is making an elevated corned, pastrami serrano hash with tempura prawn and miso halibut with a 'nduja sauce. The same judges return. Every week so far one of the two rounds has had an additional side bet so waiting to see if that happens here. Declan put his halibut directly on the grill and that did not go well. He moves the fish to a pan and puts them in the oven but sure seems lie they are going to suffer appearance wise.
Judging: Adam presents first. Antonia thinks its beautiful. Carlos loves the steak and the spice. Antonia says she's struggling to find anything she doesn't like. There are no bad comments. Declan presents second. Carlos likes the dish. Antonia likes the plating. The only thing they have to say against the dish is that they didn't need the halibut. Well looks like there is no side bet this episode. I think it would be hilarious if Gordon Ramsay did a guest appearance here and called them donkeys or some such. The scores are: 43 to 39. The chefs hug it out and its clear these two are still good friends. With no side bet like the other episodes, there is nothing fun in the credits this time. (boo).
Well that's the episode for this week. Two friendly "grudges" and hey, at least that giant honkin' TOC set is getting double duty use. I think this is the first time I've seen Carlos as a judge (but I didn't look it up, he may have judged on GGG or BBF) These were two matches I did want to see as I"m a fan of 3 of the 4 chefs (and nothing against the 4th chef). Also was nice that they brought in Hell's Kitchen competitors and mentioned HK..... remember for years how FN wouldn't mention Top Chef??? Hope you enjoy and keep an eye on that scoring graphic after round one.

Match scratched on a surface, trying desperately to release the fire hidden within its tip. The cold, misty air did not help. With a barely audible snap, the match broke, the now free piece floating down to the wet ground. Toxic rain had swept over the abandoned factory north of Rostok, aptly named Lost Factory, and the grass still remained wilted or even scorched at spots. The stalker attempting to kindle the fire cursed and took out another match, crouching over the would-be campfire.
"Fucking piece of shit, you better work or I'll defecate on your grandmother's grave.", the stalker grumbled.
"Jesus, Dimuha, isn't that a bit harsh. Besides, the match most likely has no grandmother.", another stalker sitting nearby commented.
"Sigh. If you're not helping, then keep your mouth shut Vityukha. I'm not in the mood for jokes.", Dimuha snarled.
Vityukha sneered and pulled the jacket he was using as a blanket tighter around his body. Despite it being late summer, this morning had been particularly chilly. Their camp was inside a railway tunnel, and it seemed to capture moisture rising off the ground like a spider's web, covering the walls and ground in dew. There were carriages with a makeshift campsites, but those were just as damp. Dimuha was sure they'd catch a cold at this rate. Fumbling with his second last match, the miracle finally happened. Small, feeble flame bloomed from the tip of the stick, and it hungrily devoured the dry papers Dimuha had gathered under some firewood. The fire engulfed the papers, and thanks to their sacrifice, the wood began burning too.
"Ah, brilliant. First good news since leaving Chornobyl.", Dimuha muttered to himself in a bitter tone.
"Yay, finally. Alright, I stole this pack of sausages from Svetoslav's rucksack, let's smoke them up!", Vityukha celebrated.
"Oi! Stole them from Svetoslav? You sneaky cunt! Dibs on one, criminally acquired foods taste the best.", a bald man now entering the tunnel from outside shouted.
"A KGB man endorsing crime, Guevara? Eh, actually, makes sense.", Dimuha laughed.
"Ex-KGB man. Blyat, that smells good.", Guevara replied, sitting down the fire as Vityukha placed the sausages on a stick.
"So, uh, any news from Max?", Dimuha asked, glancing at the old man beside him.
"Njet. Their negotiations are on-going. I hate that they're so secretive, goddamn anarchists. Stepanych and Skiff are pressuring them but not achieving much. Looks like we're stuck here until they manage to convince local Freedom division that they're reliable.", Guevara said, staring into the fire.
"Chyort, this has taken forever. First the slow crawl through the wildlands due to that emission messing up anomalies, then the three days we spent in those tunnels and now this fucking quarantine due to "on-going investigation". "Free the Zone" my ass.", Vityukha cursed.
"And those shits have put up the signal jammer so we can't even contact anyone. I know it's mostly because they want to piss of Duty and mercs, but still, dick move.", Dimuha groaned.
"Anarchists are always a pain to work with, but Kremen is especially annoying. Hardcore ideologue, he is probably pissed off that someone else destroyed the Duty detachment here.", Guevara commented.
"Eh. At least we got out of Chornobyl without losing our minds. I just worry about what happened to Redemption while we have been gone, nobody here has followed the news for a while since they're too busy fighting for their lives.", Vityukha noted.
"Redemption this, Redemption that. We found some sort of psycho soldier cult in Chornobyl, have not heard a peep of them since and yet all you two talk about is some Duty larpers with a reverse victim complex.", Guevara complained.
"Aaand... One sausage deducted from Guevara's tally. Go steal your own, blyat.", Vityukha chuckled as he and Dimuha reached to grab theirs from the fire.
"Hey, that's uncalled for. Who helped you when everyone else turned their backs on you in the camp? Yes indeed, old Guevara did. Now, give me that sausage or I'll start another Great Purge.", Guevara growled, and Vityukha reached for the last one, fumbling it and dropping it right into the fire.
"Whoopsie daisies, how was I so clumsy. Guess you need to get it out of there somehow.", Vityukha laughed mockingly.
"Little shits... Eh, nothing a bayonet won't fix.", the old agent commented and stuck his knife right into the fire, managing to save the sausage before it turned into ash, prompting curses from Vityukha.
"So, what do you guys intend to do once we do get out of here?", Guevara asked, savouring his victory.
"Get back to Meadow, chug down twenty bottles of Stolichnaya and pass out. I just want to forget this miserable shitshow.", Dimuha sighed.
"And then report back to Boris about those weird urods we saw in Chornobyl. This is something Redemption needs to be aware of, even though I know they have far bigger fish to fry.", Vityukha noted, opening his last can of beer with a satisfying hiss.
"Hmmm. Mind if I tag along? I don't really feel like sticking with the other loners from Chornobyl, they plan to head towards Outskirts once they've resupplied at the Bar. I'd rather study the mystery of our unknown enemies further, and so far it seems you're the only ones interested in it.", Guevara commented.
"We have no issues with that... But remember, shitting on Redemption has its consequences. Of course, you could always join us, a man with your past probably has a few things he regrets.", Dimuha said with a sly grin.
"I'll pass for now. If that 3.6 Röntgen Bar of yours is particularly impressive, I may reconsider.", Guevara replied with an amused tone.
"Eh, it's not great, not terrible, as Tooth always says. I wonder where he got that saying. Damn, that sausage just made me hungrier. What else we still got?", Vityukha asked.
"Tourist's Delight cans and one chocolate bar. I need to go powder my nose though, so I'll make another bar in a second.", Dimuha replied.
"Eating literal shit beats Tourist's Delight, chyort. Eh, I'll pass. Should we go to Diodorosus' camp to beg for some boar meat?", Vityukha asked again.
"You lot aren't going anywhere until I get my sausages back!", Svetoslav boomed from the entrance, marching in dressed for war.
"What sausages? You think we would have any of those here?", Dimuha asked, in a mock innocent voice.
"Fuck you. Where are they?", Svetoslav groaned, his night-vision goggles shaking on the top of his helmet as he spoke.
"Okay. We loaned them. You'll get them back in, roughly 8 hours.", Guevara grinned.
"Triple guard duty for you all this night.", Svetoslav said bluntly.
"What? This is outrageous, it's unfair!", Dimuha shouted.
"Just kidding. Those sausages were like five years past their expiration date, you debils. I actually came to tell you that all free stalkers are free to leave. Freedom will handle the bloodsucker infestation of Lost Factory itself.", Svetoslav replied with a hearty chuckle during the sausage part.
"Free to go? Just like that? You're looking to profit off the factory area, aren't you?", Guevara commented.
"You're free to try profiting off it yourself, but you'll either do it yourself and get eaten, or work with the Freedom patrols. This is our territory now that Dutyers all kicked the bucket.", the Freedom squadleader barked back.
"Hunters were here first, though.", Dimuha noted.
"And Hunters collaborated with the accursed fascist dogs, so they lost their claim to this area. You've been moaning for ages about not being able to leave, could you please shut the hell up and leave already? Or are faction politics over this location a newfound passion of yours all the sudden?", Svetoslav groaned.
"Fine, fine. Better not look a gift horse into the mouth. Let's go, boys, Meadow calls once more! These idiots can keep their rusty, bloodsucker-infested factory, we've got our own. To home, finally!", Dimuha rejoiced.
"Man, I did not expect these news so soon. Lovely, brothers, lovely! No more of Max's posturing, Stepanych's boring same old soup or fucking Tourist's Delight!", Vityukha cheered.
"No more anarchists to spout their bullshit!", Guevara chimed in, getting a murderous look from Svetoslav.
They kicked some dirt on the slowly simmering fire, gave their final goodbyes to the various men around the camp not far from the tunnel. Skiff promised Dimuha that if they ever ran into those men from Chornobyl again, he would help fight them. Nietzsche gave Vityukha a massive first aid kit as a gift as a thanks for bailing him out of Chornobyl. Stepanych had saved only a sliver of his stock, but he gave Dimuha the jewel of said stock, a Mk. 48 machine gun with C79 scope. For Vityukha, he gave a MP-440 pistol, one of the rarest Zone conversions. Not quite as unobtainably rare as the legendary Big Ben or the mythical Bigger Ben, but rare nonetheless.
Once all the greetings of good luck had been shared, the two Redeemed and their stalker companion left Lost Factory. Dimuha looked back at the brick walls of the complex, and the cloud-touching smoke stacks. He wished that they could have explored it as well, like back in his bandit days, but responsibilities to his faction called. They continued south, towards Rostok, until they reached the border of Freedom's jamming device. There, Dimuha stopped. He opened the PDA Stepanych had sold him, typed in Boris' channel code and wrote a simple message, one he had wished to send for so long now.
Boris, me and Vityukha are alive. We got Freedom out alive, but failed to shut down the emitter. Heading to Meadow now. - Dimuha.
As the final drops of moisture from the night rain dried in the morning sun, warming the Zone for a brief period before the usual gloomy grey clouds would invade its spot. Dimuha took out his last cigarette and last match, lighting them and inhaling the pure bliss from it. The long road home that had started ages ago would finally come to a conclusion. Whatever challenges laid ahead for them, they could wait a little longer.

I recognize that I have an extremely privileged position, and if it’s not beneficial to your mental health to read about it and it would lead you to compare yourself in a negative light, I encourage you to do what is best for you and skip this money diary. This is a followup to my previous diary from 2 years ago: previous post. Sorry about how long this is!
Section One: Assets and Debt
Retirement Balance - $223,186.45: a combination of pre-tax retirement contributions and after-tax mega-backdoor Roth contributions, after about 5 years (4 years full time, one internship year with a traditional IRA).
Equity if you're a homeowner: N/A, don’t own a home
Savings account balance - $63,371.29 (~$40k earmarked for wedding) in HYSA, $20k in i-Bonds
Checking account balance - $16,052.40 (normally I have about half this amount, recently sold some stock so I have some extra sitting around)
Credit card debt - paid off every month, generally use it for most expenses for the points
Student loan debt (for what degree) - $0, privileged to have parental support covering about half the cost, the other half was need-based grants and a variety of part time jobs for smaller expenses in college.
Other Investments - $194,945.58 in Vanguard ETFs. Medium to long term investments for future house fund or retirement.
IF YOU COMBINE FINANCES WITH A S/O PLEASE INCLUDE ALL OF THEIR ASSETS / DEBT AS WELL
My fiancé S. and I have not combined finances yet but are planning to start with a joint wedding/future down payment savings account (have not set it up yet). Some of my savings are earmarked for that (noted earlier). We started working as software engineers around the same time but I have gotten promoted faster (different companies though as well, so different promotion culture) so I make more than he does.
While we haven’t fully combined incomes/assets yet, for reference S makes about $175k/year including stock vests. When we first started out our incomes were more similar but I got promoted twice (S had the equivalent of one promotion) and my company has more beneficial stock “refresher” policies (so I get a bigger amount re-applied for a 4 year period moving forward if I stay with the company, calculated once per year). S. also started with $120k in student loan debt, which he has fortunately paid off but this means that in general I have a much higher current net worth.
Section Two: Income
Income Progression: I've been working in my field for 4 years, my starting salary was $161,500 ($115k base salary). I have gotten two promotions since, which brought me to mid and now senior level engineer. My base salary (non-stock) is now about $200k.
Someone commented on my previous diary that I should include more of how I got here. (They also commented that I don’t seem like I deserve what I have, and I hope that reader gets a better life than what it seems like they have now. I hope for the best for you, stranger, and that you’re not comparing yourself to a random internet person - life is not always a zero-sum game. As I mentioned at the top of this diary, please skip this post if it’s not beneficial for your mental health.)
I got into software engineering a bit randomly - I started college without a clear idea of what I really wanted to do for a living, and started in nursing school. I dropped out of nursing after one semester (scared of needles and I was pretty bored of the material), and studied economics for a while (I’ve always had an interest in finance, so I thought it made sense). I took a computer science course as an elective my sophomore year and it was the first time I was really enjoying applying myself, having been deterred from engineering as a whole previously because I wasn’t that great at math and physics. That class basically changed the rest of my education and career trajectory.
The work I do now is generally work that I do my best to align with my values, and without giving away too much, I work on things that help out users of our product through different integrity efforts. It’s pretty cool that at this point, probably many of the readers of this very post will have used or at least seen something I’ve built in the last few years.
Main Job Monthly Take Home: $9375
This is a little bit difficult to calculate because I frontload my retirement contributions so it ends up unequal, but I max out my pre-tax retirement contributions and use almost all of my bonuses for post-tax mega backdoor contributions. I took all my payslips from the last year and calculated my monthly average take-home was $9375.
On top of that I have stock vests from the company, which is included in my total salary but is not part of the monthly take home. The annual salary total is from my actual taxes for the last year so it includes the vests, but the stock value can vary a lot year to year.
I don’t have any side gigs or other forms of income.
Section Three: Expenses
S. and I used to split expenses 50/50 but now that we’re engaged it’s been more chill and other than a few things noted I end up just covering things and he covers other things. Eventually we’ll set up a joint account that all expenses can just come out of but for now it’s whatever each of us has been covering. Standardly I buy all groceries and household supplies (other expense distributions listed below) and S pays for most (but not all) food deliveries and eating out.
Rent: Our base rent for our 1b1b is $3k a month (yeah…just VHCOL things) but it gets charged simultaneously with shared water + trash costs for the entire apartment building so it is usually more like $3200. This is the one thing we split 50/50 automatically, so it comes to about $1.6k/month.
Renters insurance - I think this was about $240 for a full year, but S. covers this.
Savings/investments contribution - I had a discussion with S. and we’re looking to each save $30k this year for wedding expenses ($60k in joint savings, though we'll likely end up needing $70k-$80k) and we would likely keep the joint savings rate moving forward even after marriage for down payment contributions. This would be $2.5k/month for my half. Currently no automatic investment contribution outside of retirement accounts, but I move any extra amounts to investments when I remember. However, I’m holding a lot more cash than I would like mostly to ensure we have enough for the wedding.
Electric/Gas/Wifi - I pay electric & gas and my S/O pays for wifi. Electric+gas is usually around $100, but spring/fall it’s cheaper and summewinter it’s more expensive because of A/C and heating costs. Wifi is ~$60/month. I also pay for my parent’s wifi, which is really expensive at $110/month including taxes/fees, and I need to call and negotiate on it sometime.
Cellphone - I pay annually for Mint Mobile, 10gb/month plan. It’s cheaper to pay once a year but comes to $22/month when averaged out (including taxes+fees).
Subscriptions:

• $3/month for Spotify family account I share with some high school friends
• Most streaming services I just get for one month at a time when I want to binge something in particular (S. pays for Netflix standard though because his family uses it (~$14/month)
• Youtube Premium - $10/month, a grandfathered price. I watch Youtube the most compared to any streaming service so I’ll pay to not have to watch ads and download shows for occasions where I might not have service/wifi.
• Amazon Prime - $119/year. On Amazon I have subscriptions for an Omega-3 supplement ($40 per 3 months) and a refrigerator water filter ($50 per 6 months)
• Curology - $39 per 3 months
• Costco: $60/year - I got it this last year for the first time because it had a promotion with a free $50 delivery credit.

Gym membership - I got a Peloton last year, so I pay an ongoing membership fee of $44/month. It’s been completely worth it for me though in terms of making it more accessible to exercise regularly and improving my mental and physical health. S. can use this as well for no extra cost, but…he doesn’t really use it. We also have a small shared apartment gym which has 2 treadmills, an elliptical, a stationary bike, and dumbbells.
Car payment / insurance - We don’t own or lease a car so we don’t have car related payments. I was originally planning to buy a car during COVID but prices were so crazy because of the chip shortage so I ended up not doing it, and now that we’re thinking of moving to San Francisco (inside the city itself) it doesn’t make as much sense.
Regular therapy - I am extremely lucky in that my work has a mental health program that funds 25 sessions/year (we just have to pay for last minute cancellations/late fees, which would be $150/session but I try not to miss any of them). I see a therapist once every two weeks for my anxiety & depression, which are now handled much better than from my previous money diary!

Sunday - catching up on chores day

8:45AM: Eat a leftover breakfast sandwich from the day before - really dry but don’t want to waste food. Misjudged how hungry I was Saturday while making food for S. and ended up not wanting a sandwich for myself after making two on autopilot. Throughout this day I periodically check my work phone for notifications because I’m oncall for the team until Monday morning, but fortunately nothing happens. I start a batch of laundry (mostly exercise clothing and some towels) and head out to Safeway to get a few items before the full Sunday rush starts. I am trying to get some ingredients to make the (now old news) Tiktok famous green goddess salad.
Safeway ($21.65 total including in-app coupons): 8 pack of sparkling water, shaved parmesan cheese, Halo Top ice cream (cookie dough), 2lb strawberries (favorite fruit), fresh basil, fresh chives
10:30AM: I come home and move the laundry to the dryer when it’s ready, and make a Target grocery order on the app. I order via Shipt because I live a bit too far to walk to Target. My Shipt membership is free for a year with one of my credit cards (I think the Chase Sapphire Reserve). Target is actually a lot cheaper than Safeway and I happen to have a $10 off $50 grocery order coupon expiring today.
Target ($64.35 total including 20% tip and the coupon). I got Romaine hearts, a 12pk of diet Dr. Pepper, 1 English cucumber, 3lb red potatoes, one bag frozen spinach, one bag fresh spinach, 24ct pack of velveeta slices, 1lb 93/7 ground turkey, 10oz jalapeños, a loaf of sourdough bread, bag of Tostitos tortilla chip scoops (to scoop the green goddess salad), one singular stemless wine glass (we broke one a while ago), one head cabbage, bag frozen peas, pack of center cut bacon, Halo Top ice cream (mint chip), bag of frozen corn.
While I wait for the Target order, I do a little meal prep for the week - an egg white frittata (egg whites, spinach, chicken breakfast sausage), and 4 seared and finished in oven chicken breasts. I ended up smoking up too much of the house while browning the chicken but it tastes so much better to do it this way vs just baking them without browning so I run the kitchen vent hood, open a window, and run the air purifier afterwards and just deal with it.
1PM: I make lunch - a chicken, bell pepper, guac, salsa, and greek yogurt wrap. S. wakes up and joins me for lunch. After lunch I put away the first batch of laundry. The target order arrives around 2PM and I put away the groceries. S. does a batch of laundry.
2:30PM: I play a run of Hades (the only roguelike video game I’ve ever liked) on the Switch.
5PM: S. and I go on a 25 minute walk in the neighborhood. The weather is really nice and it’s near sunset so the light is very pretty. S. is done with laundry and I start another batch of laundry (more day to day clothes). I make some dinner - chipotle chicken sandwich on sourdough, and a side of spinach soup. For dessert, some mint chip halo top ice cream.
7:30PM: We take out the trash and recycling. We start looking through the list of photographers recommended by our wedding planner - there are over 50 to look through and it’s a long process of looking through their portfolios and trying to estimate costs (most of them don’t list the cost upfront on their websites, but I try to cross-reference with third party sites that have an estimate) and conferring with S. on preferences (I prefer slightly darker, romantic vibes and he likes the brighter, more standard wedding photo style). It takes almost 3 full hours but we narrow it down to a top few list. I think the range will be at minimum $3k for a photographer but may be as high as $7-8k but we’ll ask our planner to get quotes and availability.
Day total: $86.00

Monday

7AM: I had an alarm set for 6:15 but ended up feeling really tired and slept until 7. I did a 20 minute upper body strength workout from the Peloton app and a 5 minute stretch afterwards. I throw together a breakfast sandwich with the frittata from yesterday, a slice of Velveeta cheese, and a light English muffin. I have a mug of drip Dunkin’ coffee (made at home with the ground kind you buy from the grocery store) with 2 frozen ice cubes of sweet cream creamer.
9AM: I was oncall the last week for the team so I spend the first hour of my workday organizing the tasks that came in for our oncall and present the tasks and followups to the team in our weekly meeting. Then I work on an issue I’ve been putting off that affects a team that needed me to validate some functionality for a product I built in the past that they’re expanding to a new area, which involves checking in with a different team that we have a dependency with to figure out their timelines.
12PM: I take a lunch break at 12 and make a sriracha mayo shrimp rice bowl with avocado, kimchi, and a side of leftover spinach soup. S. comes out to join me for a bit (he’s doing sort of an intermittent fasting thing so he’s not eating) and we watch an episode of Good Mythical Morning together while I eat. He comments on the strong kimchi smell (we have pretty similar taste in food overall but the biggest difference is that I love fermented and sour foods and he does anot) but I love kimchi and he doesn’t have to eat it.
1PM: Back to work, more meetings to kick off helping out on a different project being run by a coworker that needed some extra hands, and then an info session learning about the big new area that our team is moving towards with the data folks familiar with that area.
3PM: More work, finally after the meetings are done for the day I can get to writing code and fixing up the tests from oncall that I needed to address. Brief break to fill up my Air Up water bottle with sparkling water (I love sparkling water and I know it’s not the best for your teeth but it helps me drink a lot more water). It is a 28oz bottle, which perfectly fits 2 12oz cans of sparkling water and some ice cubes to make them cold. Air up also has a gimmick that adds flavor to the water through scent pods (though of course you have to buy the scent pods…).
6PM: Time for dinner! I make the green goddess salad, which takes forever because of all the dicing but it makes a lot so at least I can eat it for a few more days. I really like the flavor of it. I also make smashed baked potatoes and warm up some of the prepped chicken breast. We have it with the leftover chipotle sauce from the previous day.
8PM: I do another Hades run - it’s an exciting one with extra story involved.
10:30PM: Skincare and sleep!
Daily total: $0

Tuesday - Valentine’s Day

6AM: Earlier rise than usual to pick up flowers from Safeway (ours is open 24 hours- $27.46). I believe in gender equality when it comes to things like giving flowers as gifts- why wouldn’t men also like them? I already ordered chocolates 2 weeks earlier from a fancy chocolatier but the surprise was accidentally spoiled because I had it arrive earlier so it wouldn’t be late and S. opened the package because it was marked “perishable” when it arrived on a day I was in the office. I am hybrid remote and usually go in to the office Tuesdays and Thursdays. I walk to work, which is my cardio for the day because it is over an hour to walk there. I listen to my favorite podcasts on the way there, including Marketplace for economics news and the Huberman Lab for health related advice that is backed by science.
8:45AM: I arrive at work and eat breakfast- I’m very lucky to have free food available at work. It’s undeniably also a strong motivator for me to go in on occasion rather than go fully remote. I make a double shot latte with an office espresso machine and get started working by 9:05. At 10 the meetings start to roll in so I try to get the focus time in when I can.
12PM: Quick lunch with coworkers, fortunately free at the office cafe. I run off early to catch more meetings.
5:30PM: Work is stressful this week- a lot to catch up on but since it’s Valentines I don’t want to stay late and want to spend time with S. I catch a work shuttle home and arrive around 6.
We didn’t make dinner reservations because we had actually done an early fancy dinner the week before to celebrate (we happened to get reservations for that time and reservations are hard to come by for the restaurant). We still felt like the urge to order in instead of cook because of the holiday though- we ordered 2 bowls of ramen and a yuzu juice drink ($43.98 including tip, but S. covers) that I added vodka and seltzer to for at home cocktails. The delivery time is really long because of the holiday and I get HANGRY- normally I have snacks or something in the afternoon but today work was fully focused because of the stress so I hadn’t eaten since 12. We get the food close to 8PM (an hour past the estimated time) and I eat two of the chocolates from the Valentine’s gift and some of the leftover green goddess salad in the fridge to tide me over.
8:30PM: I’m really addicted to Hades- fortunately S also LOVED the game so he’s happy to watch while I play and we discuss strategy as I do my run. Afterwards I buy an 8 pack of Altoids Arctic mints and some ribbed sweater tights on Amazon ($36.22). The tights I wore earlier in the day developed a hole near where my thighs rub and I started chafing really badly so I have to replace them.
10:30PM: Bedtime! It takes me a while to fall asleep today so it’s probably more like 11:15 when I finally fall asleep.
Day total: $63.88

Wednesday

6:30AM: I get up and do the bare minimum (splash some water on my face and put on sunscreen) and do a quick 5-10 minute or so walk outside. This is part of a routine that both the Huberman Lab’s Andrew Huberman recommends with setting your circadian rhythm and also my therapist recommended before I even listened to the podcast. Then it’s time for a leg day with the Peloton app and my at-home dumbbells. I can finally hold on to 30lb dumbbells on each side for long enough for my full sets without my grip giving out, so that’s exciting. I also now have calluses on my hands from doing that so it’s a bit of a tradeoff. Afterwards I do a lower body stretch. I’m exhausted at the end and watch a YouTube video from the floor (on my exercise mat, which is a yoga mat) while I recover.
8:30AM: After a quick shower, make some drip coffee, and nuke a piece of the egg white frittata I had prepped with a slice of Velveeta cheese melted on top between a light English muffin for breakfast. I love the really processed American cheeses even though I know they’re not the best for you and aren’t even fully real cheese. Then I start getting to work.
I haven’t mentioned it each day but I’d been trying out Athletic Greens every morning after getting influenced by some health and fitness influencers and I’m finally done with the horrible powderiness and flavor after just 4 days. It’s so expensive and I hate drinking it- immediately cancelling my subscription.
12PM: Lunch break with S. - heat up leftover chicken breast and get a bowl of the green goddess salad (with a serving of tortilla chips to dip in the salad). I also have a diet Dr. Pepper and S. steals a sip, even though he isn’t eating lunch. We watch an episode of Good Mythical Morning while I eat, then back to work.
6PM: Work is killing me today- I end up needing to work late but I take a short dinner break. I am stressed and feel like emotional eating so I order from a Japanese food place with Uber Eats ($76.38 including tip- an udon for S., a pork belly rice bowl for me, and a hamachi roll to share. I cover because it’s mostly a personal craving). We pair it with some leftover green goddess salad.
8:30PM: I’m finally done with work today- actually got a bit lucky because I thought I’d have to work even later. S and I start watching a new Netflix show “Physical 100” and it’s really good!
10:45PM: Sleep time- I wanted to sleep earlier because I know I have to get up earlier but I just couldn’t stop watching the new show!
Day total: $76.38

Thursday

5:30AM: early start to the day today because I have a meeting with folks in London and the intersecting hours are pretty rough. I also have to go into the office to meet with a coworker friend for lunch (I normally would have gone in for Thursday anyway but the early meeting made it less appealing than usual).
7AM: Get to work via shuttle today because I don’t have the extra time for my usual long walk. I request a refund and cancel my subscription via email for Athletic Greens on the shuttle and it gets approved by the time I get to the office, which is impressive customer service ($95.81 refund not counted for the week’s totals because I spent the money last week). This is also the earliest I’ve gotten to work in a while. Breakfast isn’t even available until later so I plan for a slot in between meetings to grab something to eat but make a latte to start things off with.
I start feeling like I should have slept another 30 minutes and just cut the time closer for my meeting because I start getting sleepy immediately.
12PM: get lunch with my coworker at the company cafe, then meetings again starting at 1
2:30PM: quick trip to the on-site dentist to pick up my retainers! I got some backup ones because I’ve been using the same pair of retainers for 12 years. We’re lucky to have an on-site dentist so I don’t need to Uber out to one. I had previously already paid when I got the scans done for my retainers so I’m not counting that in the week’s total, but it was a heart-wrenching $500 for 4 pairs when I did pay. It was a super fast pickup and I’m back to work by 3.
5PM: normally I don’t stay for dinner at work but today it looked good and dinner is earlier on thursdays so I message S and eat dinner at work with some teammates.
6:30PM: Back home and trying to have a difficult discussion with S about the wedding budget but he’s having a bad work day and is distracted by the work items still going on.
We have some difficult miscommunication where I thought he was done with his work and venting about work but he was not, and he thought I was ignoring and dismissing his worries because I brought up the budgeting situation. It’s a rough hour or so but then we sit down and talk about our feelings and work out that we had misunderstood each other. We also set up some ongoing dedicated time to talk about and plan wedding things moving forward so I don’t feel like he’s leaving the planning on me. This takes until 8:30, but then we both feel better and watch two more episodes of Physical 100 together.
11:15PM: later than I wanted to sleep but I got sucked into watching the show.
Day total: $0

Friday

7AM: exhausted this morning, probably from the long work days the last two days and waking up so early the day before. Decide to see if exercising is in the cards later in the day. I have breakfast (leftover piece of frittata with a slice of Velveeta cheese) and take a walk to Starbucks to get my morning sunlight and a nonfat pistachio latte (3 pumps syrup instead of 4). $6.25 including tip.
9AM: Work of course, and Fridays usually I have fewer meetings but I’m also meeting with my manager’s manager today for the first time (we got a new one recently) and I mentor a more junior engineer every other week and it happens to be that week as well. Then earlier another teammate needed my input on things and one thing led to another and I have 4 meetings and a scheduled call with our wedding planner in the same Friday work day, which is not great for my individual work output.
In the middle of work I admit I get distracted (especially if there are really short breaks between meetings where I can’t get into coding very much) and end up ordering some clothes from American Eagle/Aerie ($86.72 including taxes and shipping - clearance black jeans with a flare at the end and a slit in front, a floral wrap dress, and a bundle of 7 for $30 underwear). My coworker had mentioned the sale the day before and I loved the jeans and dress, and I was wearing through a lot of my current underwear rotation.
12PM: Eat the last of the chicken breast and chipotle sauce with the leftover bit of pork belly rice bowl and the last of the green goddess salad. Feel unsure if I should have kept these for so long but feel fine afterwards. S. and I watch a few short YouTube videos while I eat, then back to work.
3:30PM: We have a call with our wedding planner to talk about the budget and our visions for the wedding. They give us a list of possible venues to look over.
5PM: Make breakfast for dinner- heat up egg white frittatas for the both of us, oven bake some bacon, and make ube mochi waffles (from a mix we had gotten as a gift). On the side I make a Caesar salad just for some vegetables.
7PM: We watch more physical 100 and then I do another Hades run.
11:30PM: sleep
Day total: $92.97

Saturday

9:15AM: sleep in longer than usual - it’s the weekend! Make avocado toast with 2 eggs and watch some YouTube videos.
11AM: upper body strength workout and stretch, then shower.
12:30PM: Make and eat a sriracha tuna rice bowl with the other part of the avocado and some kimchi. Get ready to go out and hang out with some friends.
2:30PM: S and I go out ($20.86 for a lyft ride including tip, I pay) and meet two friends for bubble tea ($7 for my own tea including tip) and a new ramen place that just opened- we got there before it opened but we wanted to walk around a furniture store and miss the beginning of the line, so we end up having to wait 45 minutes. It is really good and worth the wait though. For the 4 of us, it’s $110 including tip and a shared appetizer with ramen for each of us with extra toppings. S covers it for all of us though and we just ask them to give us a ride home. There’s a soft serve place as well nearby that has really fun Asian flavors- S and I share a matcha and cookies and cream swirl soft serve with a custard taiyaki ($7.95 including tip, I pay).
7:30PM: We get home and I play two runs of Hades with S cheering me on.
11PM: Sleep
Day total: $35.81
Weekly totals:
Food + Drink:

• Groceries: $100.24 (including mints ordered off of Amazon)
• Eating Out: $97.58

Clothes + Beauty

• $108.70

Transport

• $20.86

Other

• $27.46 Valentine’s flowers

Overall I think I actually spent less on groceries than usual because I had a (~monthly) Costco order placed the week before, which is where I normally get bulk proteins (stored in freezer). The Costco order is about $130-200 (I use Instacart). I should likely not buy new clothes but it’s a really hard habit/hobby to kick - it's usually that or some other knickknack like jewelry that I end up buying.

I don't usually post stuff like this, but this one I just I had a feeling that sausage was worried about's or not coming then at the end of his episode 41 can hear some weird laughter and it sounded like Zornoth and this is right after mythical sausage, and others have ended up switching between season one and season two of empires

Edit: I always just ball-parked the gravy proportions but I made it this morning to verify and had to adjust a couple things.
I was honestly astonished at her audacity when she absolutely LAMPOONED biscuits and gravy in the boxed soups episode (#517, starting at minute 22) while literally saying that she has never put a single bite of biscuits and gravy into her mouth in her life. How in the world can a food critic have such a negative opinion of something they have never even tried?
Biscuits and gravy is something that absolutely must be eaten and prepared fresh with good ingredients. If your only exposure to biscuits and gravy is some nasty hotel breakfast bucket full of chunky glue and cheap bland sausage that was ladled onto stale biscuits, then you have EVERY RIGHT to hate it. Even a restaurant might prepare a pot of sausage gravy once a day and then leave it to congeal indefinitely before slopping it on an old dry biscuit. Imagine taking leftover nachos that were left sweating in a clamshell in the fridge overnight, microwaving them, and saying "nachos obviously suck". You have broken the fundamental rules of engagement by never even attempting to make it yourself.
The problem here is that it is almost impossible to get fresh, small-batch biscuits and gravy commercially. However, when the biscuits are freshly baked and the gravy uses good sausage and the whole mess is eaten hot, it is DIVINE. Molly, come on, you cannot possibly think that a dish widely beloved across huge swaths of America "is an abomination". You grew up in OKLAHOMA, for heaven's sake, this is an absolute disgrace to your southern roots. Biscuits and gravy is a dish that you must eat made with love in someone's home (or some mythical restaurant that would do it right).
I DEMAND THAT WE RIGHT THIS WRONG. I will happily Venmo or PayPal Matthew $20 so he can buy all these ingredients on his next Kroger trip (Abby or Matthew please DM me if you want this) and then assault Molly's mouth with it. You don't need to make an episode out of it, and of course I respect everyone's right to dislike it AFTER YOU HAVE TRIED IT. Meanwhile, it is well worth the price to defend one of the most beloved comfort foods on earth. Of course anyone else can follow this same recipe if they choose. It only takes about 20 minutes from start to finish, and also makes an excellent dinner with a side of peas. This recipe feeds my family of six (which includes four small children), so I would recommend that Matthew halve it.
Biscuit ingredients:
2 c. flour (I use unbleached but whatever)
4 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. cheap-ass iodized salt
1/2 tsp. cream of tartar
2 tsp. sugar
1/2 c. butter-flavored Crisco (we buy the 3-lb tub, but it comes in a satisfying little resealeable 20-oz stack of three sticks, which would make more sense here)
2/3 c. milk OR 3/4 c. buttermilk
Preheat oven to 450 F. Mix dry ingredients together. Cut in shortening with pastry cutter or fork. Add milk or buttermilk and mix with a fork until moistened. Dump on clean counter, smoosh into a big blob, and knead a dozen times. Flatten to ~3/4 inch and cut into biscuits. I like to use the plastic center lid insert of the blender lid for adorably tiny biscuits, which increases the crisp ratio, but you can make them any size. Place biscuits in a glass casserole dish with the edges barely touching and bake at 450 for 10-12 minutes until the edges are browned. I like to cook them a little longer than the golden biscuits I would prefer for plain eating in order to increase the crispiness when paired with gravy.
While the biscuits are baking, make the gravy.
1/2 lb Jimmy Dean hot sausage (even if you wouldn't eat something this spicy on its own, it gives all the flavor to the gravy so you want a premium sausage with some spice. I avoid sage like the plague).
1/2 c. flour
5 c. whole milk
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
Brown the sausage on medium high heat with a lid, chopping and stirring occasionally (you want to retain the liquid). Turn heat to low and add the flour. Use the spoon/spatula to stir and smash the flour into the sausage to soak up all the grease (you're making a roux). Add the milk while stirring quickly with a whisk so the flour doesn't make chunks. Add salt and pepper and turn the heat back up to medium high. Stir continuously until the gravy thickens (around boiling point). Add more salt and pepper to taste. Do not leave it boiling or unstirred or it will scald.
The biscuits should now be done. Halve them onto a plate, put a tiny pat of butter on each half*, and then completely cover them with hot gravy. Then rescind your ignorant slander, or possibly replace it with much better informed slander, therefore allowing me to sleep at night. Thank you very kindly, I've loved your show for many years.
*not a low calorie food
Affectionately,
Listener Colton at u/finchdad

Was watching BDubs and Tango discussing the Goonies the other day and was reminded how much fun the Big Eye Crew was in Season 8 (also 'if I see Scar, i'll ask him' cracked me up). Bdubs and Tango have a good back and forth. I think Season 8 had so many great combinations - in particular I think Docm77 and Rendog, who took things to a new level to the point where I was disappointed that pairing wasn't continuing in S9 - what a solid combination of insane engineering and what the kids call Role Play. Soup Group is a solid set up for S9 and any combination of those three works really well. I miss Stress and Iskall.
XB and Keralis is another favourite, which always involves a lot of unspoken euphemisms (well I guess all Keralis interactions will, and as much as I love Mythical B Sausage, that combo made things a little too ostentatious, but Keralis having a Spanish Wood Daddy did crack me up.) as the two obviously enjoy each others company. Also although XB isn't into the roleplay so much, I liked his quiet narrative while the others were off in Kingdoms. I could have watched more of that for sure.
And in the world of Kingdoms crossover, the genuine sense of working together and just getting each other between Xisumavoid and Pixlriffs made those episodes a joy.
What are your favourite pairings, or which minigroups are you always pleased to see?

I’m scared to ask this incase I’m just being stupid and can’t see it anywhere but does Sausage stream anywhere/are they’re any VODs of his streams?

Bars, Inns, and Taverns
You can find a PDF version here on our blog, The Goblin Coach, and other free 5e resources.

Everyday Tavern

Throughout an entire campaign, a party of adventurers will visit numerous bars, inns, and taverns on their travels in search of treasure and glory. Each location providing a simple meal and an even simpler bed.
These establishments can provide an opportunity to make those moments of rest more interesting. The atmosphere of a bar could set the mood for a meeting or the type of local information that might be available. A restaurant can be the backdrop to an espionage adventure or an enjoyable and memorable night out for a group of characters looking for relaxation.
Crave Garden. A colorful vegetarian restaurant with a focus on fusion cuisine.
Dupont Patisserie. A charming cafe with delicious and beautiful pastries and a view of the busy city streets.
Halfling’s Hearth. Bright and bubbly, this tavern evokes the true halfling spirit.
L’Ombre. Dimly lit with secluded seating, this restaurant is a favorite amongst power brokers.
Sabrina’s Savory Pies. Head chef Sabrina started out using fire breath to cook her pies as a street vendor.
Sophia. Sophisticated and avant-garde are a few of the things said about this critically acclaimed restaurant.
The Adventurer’s Retreat. An adorable bed and breakfast run by a pair of retired adventurers.
The Dragon’s Lair. A chain of restaurants with garish decor and overpriced food.
The Giant’s Den. This inn was designed with the bigger and taller folk in mind.
The Grubby Goblet. The shadiest and cheapest place in town.
The Lavender Garden. An exclusive establishment for the wealthy and upper class.
Oasis. A bar focusing beautiful and exciting drinks made with rare and exotic ingredients.

Crave Garden

Crave Garden is a cozy and colorful vegetarian restaurant that specialized in fusion style fantasy cuisine. The decor is vibrant and eclectic, with lanterns and tapestries from various parts of the world adorning the walls. Sizzling stir-fries and aromatic curries waft from the open kitchen.

Thalia Bryrie

A chaotic good female rabbitfolk, Thalia Bryrie is the chef and owner of Crave Garden.Thalia is a skilled and imaginative cook who specializes in creating delicious vegetarian dishes using arcane magic. She opened Crave Garden as a way to share her culinary creations with the world.

Food and Drink

The following are some example menu items that could be found at Crave Garden:
Enchanted Bean Cubes and Rice. A savory and satisfying dish made with fermented white bean cubes and an assortment of seasonal vegetables, served over a bed of aromatic rice (3 silver pieces).
Dragon’s Den Curry. A hearty and aromatic curry with a blend of spices, served with a side of rice and a basket of warm flat bread (4 silver pieces).
Mushroom Noodle Stir-Fry. A delicious and flavorful stir-fry made with chewy noodles and savory cave mushrooms (4 silver pieces).
Orange-Flavored Mystic Chick’n. A sweet and tangy stir-fry made with savory, orange-flavored magic meat, peppers, and onions (5 silver pieces).
Milk Elixir. A creamy and refreshing drink made with a blend of exotic spices and topped with amberroot pearls (2 silver pieces per cup).
Green Solace Tea. A soothing and revitalizing tea made with a blend of jade-colored herbs and served with a side of amberroot pearls (3 silver pieces per cup).

Dupont Patisserie

Dupont Patisserie is a charming and sophisticated cafe that offers a selection of impeccable pastries and baked goods. The baristas can create a variety of warm drinks to pair with the sweet pastries.
The decor of Dupont Pattisserie is elegant and refined, with large windows that offer a view of the city streets. The atmosphere is relaxed and welcoming, with the sound of soft music and the scent of freshly baked bread filling the air. There is a hardwood counter to order order food and drinks with a glass case displaying the cafe’s exquisite baked goods.

Marcel Renaud

Marcel Renaud is a chaotic good male tiefling. He works nearly everyday at Dupont Patisserie as a barista crafting delicious coffee drinks and sharing his artistic talent by creating animal faces out of the froth on some of the drinks.

Food and Drink

The following are some example menu items that could be found at Dupont Patisserie:
Flaky Delights. Light and flaky pastries made with butter and filled with a variety of savory or sweet fillings, such as ham and cheese or chocolate and almond (2 silver pieces each).
Savory Tarts. A savory tart made with eggs, bacon, and cheese, baked in a buttery pastry crust (3 silver pieces per slice).
Chocolate Dreams. A chocolate-filled pastry made with buttery layers of flaky dough (3 silver pieces each).
Freshly Baked Bread. Delicious bread that is baked fresh daily, served with a choice of butter or hazelnut spread (2 silver pieces per serving).
Mystic Mocha. A creamy coffee drink made with strong coffee beans and steamed milk, dusted with coco powder (3 silver pieces per cup).
Velvet Hot Chocolate. A rich and creamy hot chocolate made with melted chocolate and steamed milk (3 silver pieces per cup).
Celestial Tea. A warm and rejuvenating tea made with a blend of aromatic herbs and served with a side of golden sugar crystals (3 silver pieces per cup).

Halfling’s Hearth

Halfling’s Hearth is a small but cozy establishment popular among halflings and their friends for the warm and welcoming atmosphere. Most evenings the tavern is filled with joyous music from local musicians or bards and it can be difficult to find an open table.

Matilda Tumblefoot

Matilda “Tilly” Tumblefoot is the chaotic good female halfling owner of Halfling’s Hearth. Tilly is happy to see new and old faces alike and is quick with a joke to brighten a patron’s day. She rarely takes a day off and is often hard at work preparing food for the day or shining and polishing the tables and chairs in the dining room.

Food and Drink

The following are some example menu items that could be found at Halfling’s Hearth:
Pot Pie. Flaky pastries filled with a savory meat and vegetable filling (2 silver pieces each).
Quinoa Salad. A refreshing salad of roasted vegetables and tri-color quinoa (3 silver pieces).
Smoked Sausages. Blood hawk sausages grilled to perfection and served with a side of creamy mustard sauce (4 copper pieces each).
Assorted Cheeses. A selection of aged cheeses (1 silver piece per selection).
Honey Ale. A golden-hued ale brewed with honey and spices (4 copper pieces per mug).
Cider. A refreshing cider made with a blend of sweet and tart apples (1 silver piece per mug).

L’Ombre

L’Ombre is a dimly lit, comfortable restaurant that exudes an air of secrecy and exclusivity. The decor features rich, dark woods and plush leather seating. The booths are private and secluded, with lattice top fencing to obscure patrons’ faces. Powerful figures from all walks of life gather here to make deals, exchange favors, and discuss sensitive matters away from prying eyes.
The menu is a collection of family recipes handed down from Gianna’s great grandmother.

Gianna Calvano

Gianna Calvano is a chaotic neutral female gnome and the restaurant owner. She is a charismatic and well-connected individual, with ties to both politicians and criminal organizations. Her loyalty is hard to earn, but those who do are well-rewarded with exclusive access to the best deals in the city.

Food and Drink

The following are some example menu items that could be found at L’Ombre:
Nonna’s Spaghetti and Meatballs. A classic pasta and meatballs dish, made with top-quality beef and pork, and a rich tomato sauce (4 silver pieces).
“The Boss’s Favorite”. A baked pasta dish layered with flat pasta, savory meat, ricotta and mozzarella cheese, and a tangy marinara sauce (5 silver pieces).
Antitomato. A platter of succulent veal cutlets, pan-seared and served with lemon butter and a side of garlic mashed potatoes (6 silver pieces).
Chicken Parmesan. A classic chicken cutlet, breaded and fried, and topped with mozzarella and marinara sauce, served with a side of spaghetti (5 silver pieces).
Nenche. A bottle of vintage Oratini, aged for 10 years in oak barrels and boasting a rich, complex flavor (3 gold pieces per bottle).
Traheim Frizzante. A bottle of sparkling Navelli Champagne, crisp and effervescent, perfect for toasting to successful deals (7 gold pieces per bottle).

Sabrina’s Savory Pies

Sabrina’s Savory Pies is a warm and inviting restaurant, with a cozy and rustic atmosphere. The decor features wooden tables and chairs, and the walls are adorned with various culinary knick-knacks and pictures of famous chefs. The smell of freshly baked pies fills the air, and the sound of sizzling meat and vegetables can be heard from the open kitchen.
Sabrina’s Savory Pies is a popular spot for foodies and pie lovers, offering a wide variety of thin crust and deep dish pies with non-traditional and unusual ingredients.

Sabrina Namen

Sabrina Namen is a chaotic good female dragonborn and head chef and founder of the restaurant. She is a skilled and creative chef, known for her unique and delicious savory pies and her ability to create obscure combinations of ingredients that somehow work perfectly together.

Food and Drink

The following are some example menu items that could be found at Sabrina’s Savory Pies:
The Meatball Marvel. A thin crust pie topped with juicy meatballs, spicy tomato sauce, and mozzarella cheese (7 silver pieces per pie).
The Inferno. A thin crust pie topped with spicy blood hawk sausage, fiery peppers, and melted mozzarella (8 silver pieces per pie).
The Mythical Mushroom. A deep dish pie filled with a variety of wild mushrooms, roasted garlic, and creamy goat cheese (9 silver pieces per pie).
The Garden Delight. A thin crust pie topped with roasted vegetables, creamy moose cheese, and a sprinkle of fresh herbs (8 silver pieces per pie).
Red Dragon’s Breath. A bold and spicy red wine (2 silver pieces per glass).
White Unicorn. A crisp and refreshing white wine (2 silver pieces per glass).

Sophia

Sophia, owned by renowned Chef Henrik, is a luxurious and sophisticated restaurant, known for its rare and exotic ingredients and stunningly presented dishes. The decor features plush velvet seating, sparkling chandeliers, and fine art adorning the walls. The atmosphere is refined and elegant, with a hushed and respectful tone as diners savor each bite of their meticulously crafted meals.
Sophia is a destination for foodies and gourmands seeking the ultimate fine dining experience.

Jasper Bennett

Jasper Bennett is a lawful good male human and head waiter of Sophia. He is an impeccable and attentive waiter, dedicated to providing the best possible dining experience for his customers. He is knowledgeable about all of the menu items and can make recommendations based on a customer’s preferences.

Food and Drink

The following are some example menu items that could be found at Sophia:
The Royal Tasting Menu. A multi-course tasting menu featuring the most rare and sought-after ingredients, prepared in a variety of creative and artistic ways. Courses may include dishes such as (50 gold pieces per person):

• The Emperor’s Caviar. A lavish appetizer featuring shimmering black quipper caviar, with its rich, briny flavor and creamy texture, served with crisp, buttery toast points and a refreshing citrus salad.
• The Golden Goose. A succulent roast goose, stuffed with young owlbear liver and truffles, served with a side of buttery mashed potatoes and grilled asparagus.
• Fairytale Forest. A visually stunning dish featuring a variety of delicate and flavorful mushrooms, foraged from local forests and served atop a bed of wild rice.
• The Sea Serpent’s Lair. A rich and creamy seafood stew, made with the freshest catch from the depths of the ocean, including giant crab and golden tentacle octopus, and infused with the flavor of rare and mysterious spices such as the fiery dragon’s tongue and the aromatic unicorn’s breath.
• The Jewel of the Desert. A delectable dessert featuring layers of flaky pastry, rich and creamy filling, and a crown of glittering gemstone fruits.

Elixir of the Gods. A rare and sought-after vintage wine, aged to perfection and bursting with complex flavors (10 gold pieces per glass).
Faerie’s Touch. A sparkling wine infused with the essence of exotic flowers, such as the sweet-scented fairybell and the spicy dragonbloom, and ripe fruits, including the juicy sunpear and the tart mooncherry (7 gold pieces per glass).

The Adventurer’s Retreat

The Adventurer’s Retreat is a comfortable and relaxing bed and breakfast located in the picturesque countryside. The decor is charming and rustic, with antique furnishings and a collection of knick-knacks from Bron and Gertrude’s adventure days. Warm sun and the sound of singing birds gently wakes guests every morning.

Bron Runesone and Gertrude Redirsk

Bron Runeson, a lawful good male dwarf, and his wife Gertrude Redirsk, a neutral good female half-orc are the co-owners of The Adventurer’s Rest. Bron and Gertrude are retired adventurers who have settled down to run a cozy bed and breakfast. They are known for their warm and hospitable personalities, and they take great pride in tending to the needs of their guests.

Food and Drink

The following are some example menu items that could be found at The Adventurer’s Retreat:
Hearty Dwarf’s Breakfast. A plate of eggs, bacon, sausage, and grilled tomatoes, served with a side of toast and a steaming mug of coffee (5 silver pieces).
Gertrude’s Garden Omelette. A fluffy omelette filled with vegetables fresh from her garden, served with a side of roasted potatoes and a basket of warm biscuits (6 silver pieces).
Pint-Sized Pancakes. A stack of fluffy pancakes topped with a drizzle of honey and a sprinkle of cinnamon, served with a side of butter and syrup (5 silver pieces).
Bron’s Special Blend. A rich and robust coffee blend roasted to perfection by Bron himself (2 silver pieces per mug).
Homemade Lemonade. A refreshingly sweet and tart lemonade made with lemons from Gertrude’s own tree (2 silver pieces per glass).

The Dragon’s Lair

The Dragon’s Lair is a dragon-themed restaurant looking to franchise. The decor is bold and colorful, with dragon statues and banners adorning the walls. The restaurant is crowded and loud, with the sound of excited chatter and the smell of sizzling burgers.
On your birthday, the waiters gather around your table to sing and present you with a cheap wooden sword and shield to make you feel like a real adventurer!

Chadwick Miller

Sir Chadwick Miller (self-anointed) is a neutral good male half-elf and the owner of The Dragon’s Lair. Chadwick is charismatic and entrepreneurial and has always been fascinated by dragons and started The Dragon’s Lair as a way to bring the excitement of dragon-slaying to the masses.

Food and Drink

The following are some example menu items that could be found at The Dragon’s Lair:
Dragon’s Breath Burgers. Juicy burgers topped with spicy dragon sauce and a side of crispy dragon claws (fries) (5 silver pieces).
Dragonfire Wings. Spicy chicken wings coated in a fiery sauce (6 silver pieces).
The Hoard Platter. An assortment of dragon-themed appetizers, including dragon’s tail (breaded and fried cheese sticks), white dragon dip (spinach and artichoke dip), and dragon’s tooth skewers (chicken skewers) (9 silver pieces).
Bottomless Mugs of Ale. An endless supply of ale to wash down your dragon-themed meals (1 gold piece).
Dragon’s Den Punch. A fruity punch with a fiery kick, served in a souvenir dragon’s den mug that you can take home with you (5 silver pieces per mug).

The Drunken Dragon

The Drunken Dragon is a comfortable and welcoming place. It’s a popular spot for locals and travelers alike. The atmosphere is lively, with the sound of laughter and clinking glasses.

Old Man Jenkins

Old Man Jenkins is a lawful good male human and the owner of The Drunken Dragon. He’s a gruff but fair man who has run the tavern for the past 30 years. He knows all the best stories and is always willing to share a drink with his patrons.

Food and Drink

The following are some example menu items that could be found at The Drunken Dragon:
Stewed Lamb and Vegetables. A hearty stew of lamb and slow-cooked vegetables (3 silver pieces).
Beef and Ale Pie. A savory pie filled with tender chunks of beef and a rich ale gravy (4 silver pieces).
Grilled Chicken. Juicy grilled chicken served with a side of roasted potatoes (3 silver piece).
Loaf of Bread. Freshly baked bread with a crispy crust and soft, fluffy interior (2 copper pieces).
Ale. A smooth and hoppy ale (4 copper pieces per mug).
Red Wine. A full-bodied red wine with a complex flavor profile (2 silver pieces per pitcher).

The Giant’s Den

The Giant’s Den is a spacious and welcoming inn and tavern, designed especially for taller and bigger patrons with wide doorways and high tables. Booster seats are available for gnomes and halflings and other similar sized folk.
The decor is rustic and rugged, with animal skins and hides covering the walls and the heads of fearsome creatures mounted above the fireplace. The furniture is aged and well-worn, giving the establishment a lived-in and homely feel. Cheers and toasts to great warriors and adventurers are common throughout the evening.
The Giant’s Den is a popular spot for adventurers, offering large portions of hearty food and a wide variety of local microbrews.

Brokk Ironfist

Brokk Ironfist is a neutral good male goliath and the owner and head brewer of The Giant’s Den. He is the son of the former owner, the renowned slayer of mythical monstrosities, Gimli Ironfist. Brokk inherited the establishment 10 years ago when his father passed away. Brokk takes great pride in his work and is known for his talent in brewing ale.

Food and Drink

The following are some example menu items that could be found at The Giant’s Den:
Hearty Stew. A rich and flavorful stew made with a variety of meats and vegetables, served with a loaf of fresh bread (4 silver pieces per serving).
Hunter’s Platter. A hearty platter of meats and cheeses, served with pickles, mustard, and a loaf of fresh bread (6 silver pieces per platter).
Giant’s Plate. A massive plate of roast beef, roast potatoes, and vegetables, served with a pitcher of ale (7 silver pieces per plate).
Brokk’s Ale. A variety of ales brewed by Brokk himself, known for their bold and flavorful taste (2 silver pieces per pitcher).
Gimli’s Tankard. Brokk’s latest creation, named in honor of his father. This ale is rich and malty, with a hint of caramel and a robust finish (3 silver pieces per pitcher).
Mountain Mead. A rich, honey-sweet mead, aged in oak barrels (2 silver pieces per pitcher).

The Grubby Goblet

The Grubby Goblet is a dingy and run-down tavern located in the seedier part of town. The decor is haphazard and ramshackle, with rickety tables and chairs and a bar that looks like it’s seen better days. The atmosphere is chaotic and rowdy, with brawls breaking out at the slightest provocation and the smell of cheap ale permeating the air.

Gorgi

Gorgi is a female chaotic neutral goblin that works as a waitress at The Grubby Goblet. She’s sly and cunning with a knack for up-selling. Gorgi is always looking for ways to make a quick coin, and she’s not above exploiting her customers to do it. Despite her rough exterior, she’s a wealth of knowledge when it comes to the rumors and goings-on around town.

Food and Drink

The following are some example menu items that could be found at The Grubby Goblet:
Mystery-Meat Skewers. Skewers of meat that seem to come from an unknown creature (1 silver piece).
Rotten Egg Soup. A soup made with eggs that are past their prime (1 copper piece).
Moldy Bread. A loaf of bread that seems to have grown a few extra ingredients (1 copper piece).
Grubby Goblet Grog. A swill of ale that seems to have been mixed with who knows what (2 copper pieces).

The Lavender Garden

The Lavender Garden is a fancy and exclusive establishment. It’s a popular spot for high-class elves and other wealthy patrons, and the atmosphere is snobbish and pretentious. The sound of refined laughter and the smell of exotic spices fill the air. The decor is elegant, with lavender-hued accents and delicate floral arrangements.

Lady Elara

Lady Elara is a lawful neutral female elf and the owner of The Lavender Garden. She’s a haughty and arrogant elf who inherited the tavern from her parents. Lady Elara looks down on those she considers lesser beings, and it shows in her interactions with her patrons.

Food and Drink

The following are some example menu items that could be found at The Lavender Garden:
Lobster Bisque. A rich and creamy soup made from lobster broth, with chunks of tender lobster meat, and a hint of sherry for added depth of flavor (18 silver pieces).
Truffle-Infused Mushroom Risotto. Creamy Arborio rice cooked with earthy mushrooms and luxurious truffle (14 silver pieces).
Rack of Lamb. A succulent and savory rack of roasted lamb served with a red wine reduction and a side of mint jelly (17 silver pieces).
Artisanal Cheese Plate. An expertly curated selection of various handcrafted cheeses from local and international artisans, served with accompaniments such as fruits, nuts, and honey (10 silver pieces).
Caviar Tartine. Toast points topped with butter and a generous spoonful of high-quality caviar, accompanied by a drizzle of crème fraiche (13 silver pieces).
Elvish Scarlet Wine. A rare and expensive wine made with the finest grapes of a single row of vines in each bottle (11 silver pieces per glass).
Elven Moonflower Liqueur. A smooth and potent liqueur made with exotic fruits, spices, and moonflower petals (9 silver pieces per glass).

Oasis

Oasis is a luxurious and exotic bar located in the heart of the city. The decor is inspired by far-off lands, with colorful lanterns and intricate tapestries hanging from the ceiling. The atmosphere is relaxed and laid-back, with the sound of soft music and the scent of exotic spices perfuming the air.
Xoltar
Xoltar the Mystic, a chaotic neutral male triton and owner and creator of Oasis. He’s a mysterious and enigmatic figure who has traveled the world in search of exotic ingredients for his one-of-a-kind cocktails. Xoltar is known for his charm and charisma, and he’s always happy to share a tale of his travels with a patron.
Food and Drink
The following are some example menu items that could be found at Oasis:
Black Dragon Wings. Spicy chicken wings coated in a a dark sweet and tangy sauce (3 silver pieces).
Grilled Shrimp Skewers. Plump and juicy shrimp grilled to perfection (3 silver pieces).
Crab Rangoon. Crispy wontons filled with a creamy crab and cream cheese filling (4 silver pieces).
Midnight Mirage. A dark and mysterious blend of blackthorn berry bitters and moonflower liqueur (6 silver pieces).
Purple Haze. A mystical concoction of lavender-infused gin and violet liqueur (7 silver pieces).
Kraken’s Kiss. A briny blend of dark rum and pickle juice, topped with a splash of absinthe of the astral plane (8 silver pieces).
Sun and Sand. A refreshing blend of sunpear-infused faedka and coconut water (7 silver pieces).
The Island. A tropical blend of Pheonix’s Firebrand and orange juice, topped with a splash of grenadine (7 silver pieces).
Razzle Dazzle. A sparkling blend of emberry-infused champagne and dreamfuit liqueur (8 silver pieces).

"It's always lovely whenever you two are over," Scarlet said, "rarely am I given a proper excuse to host a dinner party. It gives me a chance to talk with some like-minded dragons. Too few are the generals actually entertaining. Too focused on battles and fighting in the planning and war sense to be enjoyable."
"Are we not here on the basis that this is a diplomatic meeting though?" Moorhen asked.
"Well, that is true, but not all diplomatic meetings need to entirely be all strategies and planning and such. I believe you said before that these nights are more about the queens bonding and growing to trust one another than it is about the subjects we talk about, no?" She glanced at the MudWing queen.
"Just try to keep things on topic, won't you?" Burn commented, looking down at the SkyWing. "You are a pleasant host, but I have better things to talk about."
"Oh please, as though you don't find it fun to talk with us," she playfully said. Burn didn't respond, instead continuing to walk in silence. Disappointed by her lack of input, she frowned. "I suppose you can be that way then."
The trio continued before finally getting to the dining hall. Two guards opened the massive doors, revealing the inside. A sprawling hall that stretched quite a distance. A crescent-shaped marble table sat in the middle, adorned with several gems and jewels. It was lit by candlelight, both from the ones on the table and the chandeliers above. Murals were etched into the walls, depicting the rich and mythical history of the SkyWings.
"Come now. The cooks are preparing our meals. The appetizers will arrive soon, don't you worry." Scarlet slunk into her own special throne, picking up a chalice. But, as she pressed it to her lips, no drink was there.
She hissed at it. "Somebody forgot to pour the wine! Servant!"
Moments later, a scrawny young SkyWing popped out from a nearby room. On a platter were several different wines. "Terribly, terribly sorry, my queen," they apologize. "Now, which one would you like--" Scarlet didn't wait for them to finish before ripping the platter from their claws.
"We can select ourselves," she snarled. "Off with you now! Guards! Find whoever was supposed to pour the wine and throw them in the dungeon! There's no excuse for neglecting such a simple task."
She then turned back to the other queens. "Useless is what they are," she spat. "At least they brought us some quality drink, no? Here, make your choice. I personally just adore this one. It has such a rich and deep flavor." The queen held up an orange bottle, popping off the cork and letting the vibrant red liquid pour into her glass.
"Ooh, what's it called?" Moorhen inquired. "Or what winery it's from."
Scarlet shrugged. "Don't know. All I know is that it's divine. You both have to try it. It's an order, as per my rules."
"Why bother giving us a choice if you only want us to drink one wine?" Burn picked up another bottle, inspecting it.
"Hush now. You'll love it, I just know you will. Something to lighten you up! You're so serious all of the time. It's a dinner party after all, you're free to have some fun."
Burn grimaced. "Thanks for insulting me."
She scoffed. "See what I mean? I was having some light banter, and you come in and make it all grounded and unfun." She took a sip, basking in the flavors of her drink. "Either way, drink up. We've got plenty, so don't be shy."
Moorhen poured her own glass from the same fiery orange bottle. "So, how are things in your kingdoms? So many troops are coming back in mine. Many dead, several more wounded and in need of service. It's rather nightmarish."
"Yes, from your failure of a campaign against the IceWings," Burn said. "It was doomed from the start. I thought your tribe would've avoided such harsh environments due to your limited fire abilities."
The russet-brown queen sighed. "We thought that our fire wasn't all too important. I was idiotic and took a chance, believing that somehow we could claim the hold."
"Yes, it was idiotic," the SandWing continued. "The uppermost area of the continent is Scarlet's problem, isn't it? It should've been an issue she tackled with her own army as opposed to you. Valiant efforts, but that was a choice so awful I'd be ashamed for it for the rest of my life."
Moorhen's wings slunk down, clearly embarrassed. "...indeed, yes."
"It was a spectacle, I'll say," Scarlet interjected. "My scouts reported back some details from the battles. If it didn't end so fast, I would've come over to watch."
"And don't think you're free from this either." Burn glared at the SkyWing as she poured her glass. "Like you said, you knew this was happening. You should've supported her."
"It was over so quickly. Besides, it was doomed from the start. The IceWings have that area protected like--"
"Is this war some sort of game to you?" She raised her voice, slamming down her chalice a little. "I may pride myself on war, but this is far from a situation where you can afford to sit around like this. Unlike you, I would rather send my troops out to fight and die for a cause than to watch them brawl to the death in a battle in which the only reward is only temporary."
Scarlet rolled her eyes. "Here she goes again. Blah blah blah, on and on." She leaned on the table, resting one arm on the table and swirling her drink around with the other. "Darling, I am trying. We all are. It's not my fault if she loses a battle, no?"
"By all means, it is. A quick message to your outposts to aid them could've been the difference between defeat or victory."
"Ugh," she groaned. "Can't we talk about something else? We've just sat down, have we not?"
A bit of awkward silence followed before Scarlet spoke up once more, pointing her cup towards a large painting across the wall. It was a portrait of herself. Her likeness was perfectly captured in it. Her talons were resting on a small podium, smoke fuming from her nostrils and curling around her horns. Her golden yellow eyes were piercing and fierce.
"Beautiful, isn't it? Recently commissioned it. Really brings out my beauty, doesn't it?"
"Tacky."
"I'm sorry...what did you say?" She turned towards Burn.
"How much did you spend on such an obnoxious piece? I can't think of any reason as to why you'd pay for a self-centered and absorbed artwork."
"It is not obnoxious!" she said, gesturing to the giant painting of herself. "To answer your question, I paid nothing for it."
"Nothing? Then how did you commission them?" Moorhen asked.
"Well...I wouldn't say commissioned, now that I think of it. More or less threatened the artist into doing so. They were a prisoner of war. Found out through some guards that they were an artist. One thing leads to another, and look at that. Now have a gorgeous portrait to liven the room up."
The conversation dried up a bit. However, soon enough, distant talons-steps could be heard. A lot of them too. Moments later, a group of servers came through the door.
"Appetizers. They include spitfire salad, deviled eggs, and several types of cheeses and sausage," one announced while the others dished out the food. "Dinner will be ready shortly." Just as quickly as they arrived, they disappeared back into the halls of the palace.
"Thank you so much for dinner, Scarlet," the MudWing queen thanked. "It's been quite difficult recently with the famine and such to find such quality food. I pray that the spirits will tip the balance and give us rain."
"I pray the spirits will let us win one moons-forsaken battle." Burn took a bite from one of the sausage links. "It's been ages since I've had a proper win. We need one after that disaster with the IceWing hold. We've been the laughingstock of the continent. It's time we show them that we're something to be feared."
"Agreed. It's so thrilling being in that position. Who wouldn't want to be feared?"
"Well..." Moorhen spoke up. "Isn't it better to be hailed as a nice queen?"
"Soft queens get stabbed and tricked. Intimidating ones survive the war. The only reason Blaze hasn't had her throat slit yet is because Glacier's got her on a leash. She's useless and would rather play dress-up and throw parties than partake in battle. Reminds me of somebody..."
"Oh, what? Just because I don't send in my troops the one time you're comparing me to your empty-headed sister?" Scarlet complained. "Please. Besides, we all know I'm far more stunning than she'll ever be."
"Beauty is...subjective..."
"Are you saying I'm not lavish? I'm pristine, aren't I? Dragons would kill for my looks. Look at my scales. Not a nick or scratch."
"What's wrong with scars?" Burn asked. "I find them more honorable and respectful than jewelery and crowns. They're marks. They show you've struggled and come back out on top. That, despite everything, you still roam this land. You're still here. You didn't give up. You weren't a coward. You fought and won." She pointed to a rather nasty looking scar, one that went down her entire neck to her torso. "This isn't something I'm ashamed of. This is evidence of how I am not a dragon to mess with."
The SandWing princess took a sig from her cup. "That alone is worth more than anything you have."
"Gee, thanks for the compliment," Scarlet scoffed.
"You're very welcome."

One of the most common things people think about after watching Vinland Saga is "how much of that was accurate to the history?", enough so that it's a common topic on AskHistorians. On Tuesday, I partially answered that question in a post comparing characters from Vinland Saga to the historical figures they were inspired by. Today we'll be looking at the events, culture and objects that we see in Season 1 of Vinland Saga. You don't need to have read the previous post to make sense of this one, but you should read it anyway because I spent a lot of time writing it and I think it's rather good.
In terms of spoilers, all the events of Season 1 are fair game, and I won't talk about anything in the history or story past that. Notes in the text refer to items in a bibliography comment below.

Events

In the early eleventh century, England was a single kingdom under the rule of King Æthelred the Unready ("Unready" here meaning ill-advised, rather than ill-prepared). However, he was descended from the kings of Wessex (in the Southwest), and his control over the earls in the Midlands and North was much more tenuous. Moreover, vikings had been raiding all along the eastern coast of England (and significantly inland) for decades, often under the command of king Sweyn forkbeard of Denmark and King Olaf Tryggvason of Norway. Æthelred had been paying exorbitant "Danegeld" fees to the leaders of these forces to get them to go away, but of course this only made the Danes more keen to invade.
In order to rid his kingdom of what he considered to be disloyal subjects, Æthelred ordered that all Danes living in England should be slaughtered on St Brice's day (13 November) 1002. This massacre is shown at the start of episode 2, and is in fact the first event in England in the series. The attempted ethnic cleansing likely wasn't as complete as Æthelred had hoped, but even so it apparently intensified Norse raids rather than preventing them, with Sweyn launching a large campaign in 1003. From 1009 to 1012, Thorkell the tall led an army pillaging across the South and Midlands, culminating in the capture and (possibly accidental) killing of the archbishop of Canterbury. After this, Æthelred paid king Sweyn yet another Danegeld to stop raiding and paid Thorkell to switch sides and defend England.
In the Summer of 1013, Sweyn sailed a fleet up the Humber and the Trent to take Gainsborough, near Lincoln. He took the North and Midlands very quickly, but his momentum was arrested at London. Up to here Vinland Saga is accurate to the history, but after this they differ, mainly in the (probable) whereabouts of Cnut. Cnut most likely stayed with Sweyn's fleet at (or near) Gainsborough, rather than being in charge of a siege force at London. Cnut being taken hostage would surely have been a notable enough event that it would be mentioned (at least in sources unfavourable to the Danes, such as the Anglo-Saxon Chronicles), and I'm not aware of any Danish forces travelling through Wales.
Askeladd's description of Sweyn's force is accurate to most viking armies around this time: rather than groups brought together by feudal loyalty, most alliances were based on how much money it brought in. Thorkell's alliance with Sweyn from 1009–1012 was of this nature: despite technically owing fealty to Sweyn, Thorkell's family had a high degree of independence, and once Æthelred made him a better offer Thorkell abandoned Sweyn.
After failing to take London, Sweyn conquered the South and West before swinging back East to finally take London around Christmas 1013, after which Æthelred fled to Normandy. Sweyn then headed Northwards again, seemingly intending to be crowned at York. However, he never made it there: Sweyn died at Gainsborough on 3 February 1014 of an uncertain cause (one of the more outlandish suggestions is that he was murdered by the avenging ghost of St. Edmund). This gap in our historical knowledge allowed Yukimura to insert the fictional Askeladd into history by having him kill Sweyn.

Culture

Religion

Cnut was a devout Christian throughout his life, but Christianity would not have been seen as a strange religion for a Danish noble as depicted in the series: Cnut's grandfather Harald Bluetooth had been baptised around 965 (cf. Gelting), and king Sweyn maintained relations with bishops in both England and Germany. In fact, many of Thorkell's soldiers would've been Christian themselves, as The Anglo-Saxon Chronicle records that Archbishop Ælfeah converted some of them while he was being held hostage by Thorkell. Amulet moulds have been excavated with Thor's hammer on one side and crucifixes on the other, indicating that silversmiths were serving Christians and pagans side-by-side. Furthermore, although we think of Christianity and Norse paganism as being mutually exclusive, this was not necessarily how most Norse saw things. Instead, many people adopted elements of Christianity alongside the Norse pantheon:

According to Widukind, the Danes were already Christians of a sort before Poppo's ordeal [in 965], practicing a syncretistic religion according to which they recognized Christ as a god, but thought that their own traditional gods were more powerful. [Gelting, p. 122. He cites Widukind of Corvey's Res Gestae Saxonicae III ch. 65, but I couldn't find an English translation to verify.]

In contrast to the Norse, the English had been exclusively Christian for more than 300 years by the time of Cnut. The ten-dollar word that best describes the medieval Christian mindset is eschatological, meaning "to do with the Christian end-times". A common belief at the time was that Doomsday would occur in 1033, a thousand years after Jesus' crucifixion, twenty years after the main action of Season 1. This idea is mentioned by several characters, such as Askeladd in episode 10 and an Englishman in episode 14. As this same Englishman is telling his children about Hell, we see a giant creature swallowing them. This is a Hellmouth, a common motif in Christian (and especially English) art and literature during this period.

Combat

In episode 4, Bjorn eats a mushroom to become crazy-strong, but also just plain crazy. This is a reference to a popular myth about 'berserkers', semi-mythical warriors who were reknowned for their strength in battle. Most of our evidence for berserkers comes from sagas and tales rather than histories written by the Vikings' victims, describing berserkers working themselves into a frenzy by biting their shields (Sagas of Icelanders, p. 124), and depicted on one of the Lewis chessmen). After doing this, they would supposedly become impervious to weapons. The idea that berserkers induced psychosis by ingesting mushrooms is a modern invention with no basis in primary sources. Berserkers are sometimes figures of great respect, and sometimes mocked and feared.
In episode 7, Askeladd's mercenaries do a Viking raid on a fortress in the Loire valley in France. This gives us the opportunity to see the effectiveness of Viking ships in action. One of the advantages of Norse ships was their shallow draught (the depth of the ship's hull below the water's surface), which allowed seaworthy ships to go far upriver and raid undefended settlements. By the eleventh century, many towns in Northern France had developed defences against Viking raids, but it's not unlikely that a settlement in the Loire valley upriver of a waterfall wouldn't have made such changes. This also allows us to see one of the more remarkable aspect of Norse seamanship: its ability to traverse land. As well as being able to sail up rivers, Viking raiders could take their ships over short stretches of land in order to get from one body of water to another, though the ships were usually dragged on rolling logs rather than being carried as shown in the anime, which Askeladd's crew use to get around a waterfall. In real life, this allowed the Norse to go from Scandinavia right down to Constantinople (present-day Istanbul, in Turkey) by crossing from rivers that flowed into the Baltic to rivers that flowed into the Black Sea.
Thorfinn's desire for revenge has deep roots in Norse culture. In episode 10 we see two of Askeladd's men fight to the death because one called the other a cattle thief, and the Icelandic sagas are replete with tales of dozens of people being killed because of a minor disagreement that got out of hand. In Norse culture, it was important not only to get revenge against someone who has wronged you or your family, but to do so in an honourable fashion, by challenging them in a duel called a holmgang. In the sagas they're often rather gentlemanly, with the combatants agreeing to pause for a rest or to replace damaged equipment. Some of them ended amicably, like the duel between Thorstein and Bjarni at the end of the tale of Thorstein staff-struck (The Sagas of Icelanders, pp. 681–682), but others were to the death, such as Egil Skallagrimson's duel against the berserker Ljot in Chapter 65 of Egil's Saga (Sagas of Icelanders, pp. 124–126). While these cannot be taken as representative of real life (in much the same way that Marvel movies aren't an accurate representation of American life), they are indicative of how the Norse thought an ideal man should behave.

Material Culture

Miscellaneous objects

As you'd expect from someone who works in a visual medium, Yukimura's representation of the material culture of the early medieval period is excellent, down to even minor details: in episode 9 we see some Danish people playing the lur, a traditional Danish instrument, and eating by sticking things on their knife, as forks didn't become common in Europe until centuries later. This Mjolnir necklace is similar to ones that are often found at norse archaeological sites, such as this recent find in Sweden.
One small detail I appreciated was that, when Askeladd is letting one of his men go, he pays him with a gold arm ring. Arm rings like that seem to have been used as a sort of pseudo-currency, more commonly used for this purpose than other forms of jewellery. These arm rings are commonly found with bits cut off them, with the offcuts being used to pay for smaller items. They also appear in stories, with the weight of the ring always being mentioned, and are frequently given as gifts from a king or traded in bets. The Tale of Sarcastic Halli contains multiple examples of this, such as the following passage in chapter 8:

"Halli, do you want to bet that you can bring silence to the assembly?" Halli said that he was ready to do this. Raud responded, "You bet your head and I'll bet this gold arm ring that weighs one mark".
"So it will be", said Halli. ...
... when people were least expecting anything, Halli jumped up and shouted as loudly as he could, "Listen everybody, I need to speak! I have lost my hone and honing grease, and my bag with all its tackle, which it is better for a male to have than to lose."
Everyone fell silent. Some men thought he had gone mad, others thought that he would announce some message from the king. And when all was silent, Halli sat down and took the ring. But when people realised that this was nothing but mockery, there was as much uproar as before, and Halli ran away because Raud wanted to take his life and thought this was an enormous cheat. Halli did not stop until he got to England. (Sagas of Icelanders, pp. 706–707)

You should read the tale of Sarcastic Halli if you can, BTW. It's full of laugh-out-loud moments and crude humour, and it's a quick read (less than 20 pages in The Sagas of Icelanders).

Buildings

Thorfinn's family in Iceland are shown to live in a turf house and burn peat bricks on their fire, and background characters are shown cutting sod for this purpose. The oak that was traditionally used to build Scandinavian longhouses was rare in Iceland, so Icelandic houses were made with a birch frame on the inside and turf bricks around the outside for insulation (Sagas of Icelanders, pp. 733–735). I'm not sure that the thatched roof is accurate, since most of the images I've found show Icelandic turf houses to be entirely covered in turf, but it's not impossible (and straw thatch would likely be architecturally easier to use than heavy turf). Although much of Iceland was covered with birch forests at this point, the forests were mainly inland and somewhat difficult to access for coastal farmsteads like Thorfinn's, so peat and even dried dung was used for home firepits, while birch was mainly used to make charcoal for smelting iron with.
Gorm's longhouse shown in episode 9 is based on a reconstruction of a longhouse at the Trelleborg ringfort. In episode 7 we see a decent approximation of what the Jelling ringfort would've looked like in its prime.

Clothing and weapons

This too seems to be mostly based on historical finds (with a few notable exceptions), and Yukimura largely avoids tropes that other viking and medieval media fall into. Many medieval shows have people basically like the peasants in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, wearing only various shades of brown and being covered in shit, but the characters in Vinland Saga wear a variety of different colours, with noble clothes having more decoration. To see what sort of clothes the Norse would've worn in cold weather, check out this YouTube video of a guy dressing in viking clothes.
The level of armour is about right, with some more wealthy people wearing chainmail, but others getting by with only a helmet (if that). Many of the weapons look to be based on reconstructions from archaeology and contemporary illustrations: this sword used by Thors in episode 1 looks like a Petersen type S. A particularly subtle reference is that Thorfinn's iconic dagger has two \tiwaz* runes ᛏ on it, which may refer to stanza 6 of the poem Sigrdrífumál:

"You should carve victory-runes if you want to have victory. Carve some runes on the hilt of your sword, carve some on the middle of the blade also, some elsewhere on the sword, and name Tyr twice". (Crawford, p. 254)

While the poem doesn't say that the runes should be \tiwaz* (named after the god Tyr), this seems too unlikely to be a coincidence.
However, Yukimura does take some liberties. As mentioned in the last post, Askeladd's Roman armour and sword is not accurate, and neither are the roman dress and trireme of his Welsh allies. Canute's winged helmet, like its cousin the horned helmet, seems more like a costume from a nineteenth-century opera than armour from an eleventh-century battlefield.
In general, Yukimura has paid a lot of attention to the material culture, with some poetic licence taken for some characters' clothes (particularly Askeladd and Canute). The context of the main story is an accurate depiction of the invasion of 1013, but the actual actions of the characters are not historical (particularly in the second half of the season). He accurately depicts the culture of the time in some regards (the place that violence, honour and revenge had in Norse society), but paganism and Christianity as more distinct and foreign than they actually were.
Some viewers might be disappointed to learn that Vinland Saga misrepresents some aspects of history, but ultimately any work of historical fiction is a tradeoff between prioritising accurate history and good storytelling. A historical fiction that cleaves too close to the history can be disorienting or even appear to be inaccurate for an audience unfamiliar with the subject, if it strays too far from what audiences expect the history to be. At the other end, historical fiction with no regard for historical fact is barely worthy of the name, and risks perpetuating misconceptions about our own and others' past. However, on the whole I think Yukimura does a good job of accurately representing the aspects of Norse culture and materials for the story that he wants to write.

We all know by now that Gem and False are on both Empires and Hermitcraft but since False has made Empires False and Hermitcraft False different people. Now that the rift is closed and the crossover is over it leaves us wondering about how Gem will get back onto Empires! Of course she can just not do any lore around it and just, well, be on two servers, but she has repeatedly stated she wants to do some lore in her series while not going to the Mythical Sausage extreme, to better suit he audience! Maybe as the celestial being she is she can transform into something that can cross the multiverse without a portal, but who really knows! I'm genuinely curious what others think so leave it in the comments.

number 10 mythical sausage 9 feinberg 8th pixlriffs 7th jimmy here 6th wolfeei 5th smallant 4th owen honorably mentions etho billzo zombiecleo clownpierce parrot 3rd kreekcraft 2nd sleepy or sleepai 1st rekrap

This isn't totally related to anything, but it's Christmastime, and there' a gun related question that's popped into my mind :
"If the elves of the North Pole had an militia force in line with the general Christmas aesthetic, or if the North Pole had some kind of Department of Defense, what kind of guns would they have?" This has been a journey...
Consideration 1 : The - A E S T H E T I C -
This question has troubled mankind since at least December of 2021, and is very important. I dug down the rabbit hole of technology, imagery, and the history of Santa Claus to answer this. Santa, and all the hot jazz supporting him, has a distinct aesthestic, and trying virtually everything related to X-mas media revolves around that aesthetic. His sleigh, clothing, method of tobacco use, all harken to a bygone era, but nailing that era down to a knowable time frame, and location, isn't straight forward. There is no real world counterpart to the North pole, with it's Rankin Bass forest of technicolor trees (except maybe East China's industrial areas), so there's no pin pointing a modern place to stand in for the pole, but there's enough interconnected media, imagery, and technological trends, that I think this question can be answered.
Santa as we know him began with Saint Nicholas of Myra, who lived in what is modern southern Turkey in the time before guns. He became a patron saint to many groups, and as Christianity spread into northern Europe, his overall appearance became linked to the ancient deity of Wotan (aka Wodan, or Odin). Kind of like Easter bunnies, and Krampus, Santa's status as "Mr. Xmas" is only the christian adoption of an established pre-christian polytheistic cultural icon. While Easter was the biggest holiday among Christians until the time of Charles Dickens, it was still a holiday of gifts, food, and getting shit faced drunk. The visual standard of Santa and Christmas time is very new, and I've made a short list of fixed points of reference our modern Christmastide revolves around :

• The Nutcracker : This ballet was first performed in 1892, but its source material, "The nutcracker and the mouse king", by E.T.A. Hoffman, dates from 1816. Regardless of the incarnation, the nutcracker is virtually always depicted as a hussar with a sword, jacket with frogged buttons, and a bearskin cap. Literal nutcrackers were often politicians, tradesmen, devils, or other cariactures before the play, but after it, the hussar was the standard.
• A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens features an illustration of The Ghost of Christmas Present by John Leech, done in 1843. This is Father Christmas before the Santa boom. He's wearing a fur trimmed green robe, a mistletoe crown, and not much else.
• Thomas Nash not only gave us the largest and most influential touch stone in his 1881 Illustration of Santa, he also gave us two valuable objects for dating the aesthetic : a belt buckle, and a sword. The sword is a distinct one - it's an American state militia sword. State militias all used federally standard firearms, but swords came in a variety of patterns, and many weren't even American made. Horstman & Son imported loads of these militia swords before the civil war, but the one in Nashs work looks like the Ames Co. militia "5 ball" saber. Despite not having the famous knobs on the knuckle bow, the entire hilt is period correct, and regionally accurate to the militia swords made for all state forces (not the federal army) during the Mexican-American War era (1846-1848). This would be very unlike the curved over, or D-shaped, guards of federal swords. We can also see the presense of a "US" belt buckle. The actual US belt buckles were rectangular (unlike oblong cartridge box plates or sling plates), had a federal eagle (not the simple letters 'US'), and to the best of my knowledge, no rectangular 'US' belt buckles were made. The buckle could be a fantasy piece.

Virtually everything about Santa, and Christmas imagery harkens back to the general time period of the Regency era and into the late Victorian era (ca.1816 - 1881, which we will call the "Long Era"), with an especially influential core of 13 years (ca.1837-1850, which we will call the "Short Core.") giving most of the major inspirational material. Even material made at the tail end of the era harkens back to the SC.
Consideration 2 : Elves
The modern Santa Clause's main inspiration is the Dutch Sint Nicolaas, later known as Sinterklass. (Imagine Santa cosplaying as a christian bishop) Although different forms of Santa are found throughout Europe (eg. Ded Moroz, Father Christmas, Papa Noel, Mos Gerila), they're all basically the same. The American Santa Clause is differentiated mostly by just one thing - the elves.
Christmas elves are not as much European as they are American. Pre-christian elves weren't just Yule tide fodder. They were mythical beings that had significance throughout the year, and evoked more Tolkien than Christmas vibes. European Santas do have helpers, or an associated figure, such as Belschnikel, the Yule goat, Ded Moroz's grandkid, sweet baby Jesus, Krampus, and the French guy that butchered kids and left their corpses in a barrel of pork brine. Only in America did Santa not only gain elves, he began as one :

• "The elves and the shoemaker", as collected by the Brothers Grimm, 1812. Despite the linking of elves to the Shoemaker on Christmas eve, elves appear in other non-christmas themed stories. While the English translation used the word 'elf', a probably more accurate word would be "kobold". Kobolds are amongst the multitude of household spirits found throughout European folklore (eg. nisse, brownies, kabouter, etc.) The hard and fast bonding of elves to Christmas probably had a root here, but it evolved over time.
• A visit from Saint Nicholas (aka "T'was the Night Before Christmas"), by Clement Clarke Moore, 1837. This famous poem was the first to depict Santa as an elf, driving "tiny" reindeer on a "miniature" sleigh. This contrasts with most depictions of Santa as a normal sized human
• The Christmas Elves by Louisa May Alcott, 1850. This manuscript was never published, and is now lost.
• Godey's Lady Book, December of 1873 edition depicts nightmare fuel goblins and Santa identifying a doll. For all my looking, it seems that elves would not be bound to Christmas in Europe until the late 1800s as a result of postcard art, much like how Halloweens aesthetic is the result of postcards from the 1890-1920 era.

Consideration : The Guns of the SC era.
We've isolated our origin of aesthetic to the SC era (1837-1850), and our locations (the US, the Netherlands, and generic northern Europe), now let's look at the guns. It's kind of anti-climactic, but the writing is on the wall.
All major armies from Mexico to Japan were using muskets, but "musket" is a generic term. Military muskets came in two major formats : pinned, and banded. The difference lies in how the barrel is secured to the stock. For pinned muskets like the earlier Potzdam and the Short Land Pattern (aka the Brown Bess), a little metal eye is attached to the underside of the barrel, and a pin is run through the stock, the eye, and out the other side of the stock. Banded barrels have bands slid over the stock and barrel. Much easier to make, disassemble, etc.
The main musket of the British empire was the Brown Bess, but it was eclipsed in shear volume and popularity by the king, the Model 1777 Charleville of France. Over 4 million Brown Besses were made, but that's only a little over half of the whopping 7.7 million Charlevilles. The Napoleonic wars were massive on a scale most Americans can't fully appreciate, and every single country had loads of Charleville '77s in their armouries for decades upon decades. Even the Confederacy snatched a few up during the US civil war. The Charleville inspired all Springfield muskets, the Russian M1845, the later Potzdams, and commercial designs. Some countries, flush with Charlevilles, just renamed them, like the M1814 Italian.
From 1842 onwards, the US, UK, Russia, and other nations pushed forward from the flintlock and into the caplock ignition system for their standard muskets. This tended to mean converting flintlocks rather than building all new guns. And while this switch was faster for the UK and France, the US lagged behind. The Confederate soldiers had flintlocks throughout the war. For civilians, this change was even slower. You could get musket and pistol caps through Sears and Roebuck all the way through the 1910s!
Conclusion :
So, if Santa's elves formed a militia, or there was some kind of North Pole Department of Defence, I feel it's logical to assume the elves would be keeping with the 1837-1850 aesthetic, and that they would be using a triple banded .69 caliber musket based on the Charleville, in either flintlock, or in caplock.
Food for thought (just for funsies) :
Armies of the old days of the SC era ran on a similar diet, used similar weapons, wore similar uniforms, and had a similar structure. We can quabble about details, but just for the sake of argument, let's assume their rations and such were also aesthetic to the SC. I propose that the Elven militiapersons (regardless of gender or sex - you can swing a toy maker's mallet, you can advance the bayonet) might be issued the following marching ration, and ammo :

• 12oz. of summer sausage or honey baked ham, or 14 oz. roast beef, or 16oz. baked goose
• 24oz. gingerbread, or 12oz. gingersnaps (or 16oz matzo for the Chanukah Corps)
• 20 cartridges loaded with 60 grains fairy dust, and 400 grains of buck and ball.

Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah.