Hello, welcome to my post, let me explain the situation. My girlfriend and I started dating at 18, and have had a stable relationship from the beginning. We were very attached before and throught the early years of the relationship, having little problem connecting and finding things to do together, joining eachother firend groups and sharing our lives. A couple of years ago she went to another city to study to become a doctor, and I stayed in our city to finish my studies and getting a stable job. Almost one year ago I moved with her to keep her company. But this decision came from a crisis we had before, where she told me to move with her after I expressed my concerns about our relationship. I took the decision of coming to see if moving in together would give us the complicity we had before, but far from becoming the truth it made me spend a lot of time home alone since i work from home and she has to be at uni most of the time.
To give a little background she had always been kind of a weird girl, but in the good sense, she was interested in the same stuff I was interested in and vice versa. We had very different backgrounds, me coming from a poverty stricken household and she being part of an upper middle class family. But that wasn't a problem at the time, it became one the moment she offered me to come with her and constantly expressed her worry about my saving capacity after I made any purchase over 50€ doesn't matter if it was superfluous expense or a personal improvement expense such as my driver's liscence.
She was diagnosed as being in the autist spectrum one year ago, and since then she has changed quite drastically, where she would make an effort before, she now just states the fact that she's autistic and cannot comply to the things I ask from her, things like coming with me to a concert, or to have a date and eat out, or something as simple as taking a stroll on the neighbourhood. She usually states that she's too busy with classes or that "she doesn't like that kind of stuff", I don't want to make it look like I'm not without fault, as I percieve myself I may be a little bit needy, but I didn't use to be like this until I arrived to a new city where I didn't knew anybody but my girl, I can be slow to process emotion, and sometimes socially inept. But the feelings I have are very real, I came here thinking spending time with her was going to help us reconnect, but all I percieve is that we now are more different than ever. I don't want to throw away all this years, but when I look in the future I only see myself getting more bitter and sadder from the gap that has grown between us, rather than reducing that gap. In the years we have not been with eachother we have grown apart.
There is one thing that I have talked about with my therapist and that is the fact that in the last 5 years she hasn't come with my friends ever, and she has led me to thing she would come and then cancelled last minute.
Another big crisis came when my family's house was taken from us a couple of years ago, I asked if she would come and help and she rejected it stating that "She didn't want to spend her vacation week doing that" and that she'd rather be with her family, I understand that she wants to be with them, but the fact that she didn't want to help me and my family in that moment created a wound that is yet to heal. I told her that I was going to be too busy and emotionally hurt to go out and party and then she came half an hour to give me the coldest kiss she's ever given me before leaving to be home. These are thing I've talked about with her, but she deflects blame on her studies or stress, and never wants to accept the blame of the fact that I needed her and she didn't come. I understand all of this can look like is too "me· oriented but I feel like I have tried almost anything, I'm always there for her family, I've helped her numerous times, and have sacrificed a lot for her sake, sacrifices that I don't see recieve the merit they deserve.
Thanks for reading such a long post and I'm patiently waiting for your answers, I'm in quite a desperate position and need to figure out what to do, I understand that people here are not therapists, but I need external input or my head is going to explode, again, thanks a lot.
Should I move on and get out of this relationship or can we save this?
TL:DR I moved in with my girlfriend after we had a crisis but I feel like we have grown too much apart.

First time poster.. I’ll try to keep it vague… I’m 25 years old and have battled with my adhd for as long as I can remember, I’ve been medicated for majority of my life from the age of 13 to now with little support from anyone apart from a psychiatrist.. I have had a lot of traumatic events through my child/adulthood and have learned to deal with things on my own..
I currently take vyvanse 40mg and have tried strattera, Ritalin and herbal remedies, I feel as thought I have found the most benefits from vyvanse as it gives me motovation/focus and a clear and level head and I believe it is the sole reason as to why I am successful at my career…
outside of work my life is falling apart, I really struggle to control my emotions, I constantly forget things and leave things behind, I say things without thinking and even though I know it’s wrong looking back I just can’t help it… I have been having regular mental breakdowns due to my relationship struggles and my partner not being able to deal with me and the person that I am… I’m so afraid of losing her and my duaghter and it consumes me and eats me alive.. I’m seriously trying to get myself some help by joining a men’s choosing change program, seeking a regular psycologist and also trying to see my psychiatrist on a more regular basis but it’s all a long process and I need to make an adjustment or change asap.. I don’t have any family or friends for support and I’m just really lost as to what to do.. I feel like I could possibly be needing a higher dose of my vyvanse or a combination of that medication with another to see some further benefits with the current effects of my adhd.
Please feel free to share your honest opinion or personal experiences.

Hi, this is my first post here, but I have read posts before. It's going to be long.
A little background: my husband and I are both in our 40s. No kids. We have been married for over 10 years. We have known each other since we were both in our early 20's. He is the love of my life.
I have always been more HL in the bedroom. Always. I couldn't get enough of him. I wanted to experiment, I dressed sexy, I asked him what he wanted, what he needed, what felt good. We struggled a bit because our temperaments were different, but we made it work. He was more LL. He didn't feel the need to have sex. And when we did, it was always the same - very satisfying for me, but very vanilla. But I never complained! It was great. When it happened. But the frequency dropped from about once a week to about once a month.
Then he started to reject me. He wasn't in the mood, he was too stressed, he wanted to sleep. I stopped initiating. I didn't want to pressure him, create more stress.
I must add that he never stopped being intimate with me. We cuddled, hugged, watched TV cuddled together. But I missed something more romantic. We don't celebrate our anniversaries or Valentine's Day. I don't get flowers or gifts for no reason, just because. I do get compliments from time to time, but they are very generic - "you're pretty".
In the last few years, he has started to be more critical of me. He told me I needed to lose weight. That I need to exercise more. That I need to do more (not housework, but more like projects he thinks I should do). That I spend too much money. That I buy too many things, especially clothes. That I should get a better job. That I should learn to deal with stress.
I was overweight, so I lost 30 pounds. I understand that my health is important and that being fit is important, so I try to exercise more. I try to make time for the projects, but his criticism took away any joy I had in them. I stopped buying stuff. I cleaned out and got rid of 90% of my clothes (I admit I had a problem with this). I got a promotion at work and the new job is stressing me out.
He criticizes the way I talk to my co-workers, when I work from home he listens to all my meetings and tells me what he thinks I should be doing better. He tells me how to do the projects around the house, using words like "why do you like to make yourself suffer by doing it this way when you should do it that way". He keeps asking me if I am on my period because I look bloated (the stress from the new position has messed my periods).
He steals small pleasures out of my life. I used to love going out to eat - we don't because it's too expensive and the food isn't good enough, he can cook better at home. I used to love going to the movies, but it's too expensive and the movies are boring.
I used to like taking bubble baths. But he always wanted to take a bath with me. I used to love it, a shared bath sometimes even led to a sexy time, but his critical looks and questions about bloating made me feel shy. Yesterday was the worst. He kept looking at me, and I thought he was looking at my shoulders and the freckles I have from the sun. No, he reached out and stuck his finger in my bingo wing... and told me I needed to lift more weights. This was after a weekend of him criticizing me during the house project we are doing together (how I was mixing concrete) and jokingly telling me that my butt was big.
I got up without a word and walked out of the bathroom. I put on my pajamas and went to bed. As soon as he got into bed, I turned off the light and pretended to be asleep. I had a feeling he was in the mood for sex. I think it was the second time in my life that I didn't respond to his desire. I feel like my desire is burnt out. I realized that I haven't felt sexy, pretty, cute, or desirable in any way for months. That he is slowly, bit by bit, grounding me to the ground. I have no confidence, I don't want to be naked in front of him, dress up nicely for him. I don't even want to spend time with him anymore because everything I do is just criticized.
It hurts even more because I had to learn to be uplifting to him and I always tell him how good, kind, intelligent, hardworking, talented and handsome he is. And now I try to work overtime, take on more projects so I don't have to go home to him.
Before anyone says I should talk to him about this, I have. Almost every time I feel hurt by his comments, I tell him. I asked him to change his tone and the words he uses to tell me things like that. I gave him examples. I told him how miserable he makes me feel. He doesn't see that what he's saying is hurtful. He says it's truthful and he's just trying to help me.
This is a story of how I went from having a fairly high libido to having a low libido. i don't know where to go from here.

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The maw of the moss-wolf chomped down on the treat, its partner patiently waiting its turn, an eye trained on the Human providing the sustenance. Joseph reached into the pouch, counting out what he had left and mentally setting a few aside for the raven-like birds that Scarlet had trained to bother him.
Well, ‘bother’ might be a strong word. They would whistle at him and wait for food. Upon getting their hard sought quarry, they would return to share it with the rest. Surprisingly cooperative, all things considered. Scarlet had apparently been getting them to associate certain short melodies with members of the pack, allowing her to send the avians after whoever she wanted for more snacks.
If they didn’t get any, then they would yell something not dissimilar to a caw until either food was procured, or they grew bored. Given that they had taken to humouring Violet in her attempts to be a mobile perch, that usually took a while.
It drove Nalah nuts, which seemed to be part of the reason the blond-furred female was included in the ritual at all. Harrow was apparently the favourite target of the nuisance when she was outside the base, but he couldn’t say why.
The tell-tale scratching had been somewhat muted since the shift in medium, but Violet’s writing was always something he kept an ear out for, his daughter presenting her tablet excitedly. [It blinked!]
He turned his head to the cow-looking thing, the unwavering stare held until he gave up. “I swear you guys are just messing with me.”
“Or we merely enjoy your suffering,” Sahari suggested with a smirk, the black-furred female standing taller than him for a moment as she stretched her legs out. Settling into a height that was level with him, she attempted to offer the wolves food. Receiving a fearful retreat instead, the black-furred female frowned, the two canines shifting in their enclosure to be closer to Joseph and Violet. “They still seem to distrust any but yourselves.”
He shrugged, taking the scrap from her and giving it to the young Atmo to pass along, her chittering laugh when the wolves accepted the morsel breaking the soft sound of trickling rain outside the barn. “Faye was the one who started this. I guess they treat her like an alpha of sorts, and seeing her bow to the two of us so often told them that she’s lower on the pole. That’s my guess, anyway.”
“That is….rather intelligent of them, if so,” Sahari commented pensively.
The Grand Hunter tipped his head in agreement. If anything, it was an understatement. The six-legged canines were remarkably receptive to taming, though he couldn’t say how much of that was due to Faye taking to his suggestion so seriously. He had only offered it as a passing thought, but she had set to it like their god had mandated it.
He fought back a sigh at the reminder of his placement in the whole thing, his foot kicking the ground to adjust the new sandals he was wearing until Pan finished proper shoes.
One day, he was a divorcee flirting with random women on a cruise ship so that the rejection validated his own self-esteem issues. The next, he was a guy in charge of a settlement nearing one hundred people and had become a manifestation of religion condensed into the form of some random moron.
He snorted at a morbid thought. How would Emma react to his ‘rise to fame?’ His acquisition of more than they had ever thought for themselves back on Earth?
Owning a territory? They could only manage a nice apartment that could fit several times over inside the base. Friends? Hell, he had a group of people who have helped him through some of the worst the planet had to offer. Kids...well, nothing could replace Violet. He doubted Emma would see it the same way, though.
A paw enclosed his shoulder, dragging his mind from more sombre thoughts. It had been quite a while since everything fell through and he had moved on, but it still stung every now and again.
“What ails your mind, Joseph?” Sahari asked with a concerned inflection. He looked over at her, a smile becoming easier after a moment.
“Just wondering how my ex-wife would react to seeing what I’ve turned into. What she’d say to all of this,” he admitted honestly with a wide gesture to everything. She patted his back, a small pride in her gaze.
“You continue to heal, Grand Hunter, but you are still scarred. Your previous mate would curse her decisions were she to see what you have accomplished.”
He snorted, a wide dry grin breaking out. “I’d love to see her face going back with two alien wives and this sweetheart as a daughter,” he teased, giving Violet a thorough rub on the head. She purred, chittering between breaths as she fought off the rough affection playfully while keeping her blades tucked for safety.
The black-furred female tilted her head and shifted her weight to her other foot. “You’ve mentioned that there is a specific procedure for binding the lives of your people, no?”
He blinked, his mind flickering to the two rings he had prepared, yet held some modicum of expectation around before he whipped them out. Not least of all was the foreign sensation of doing it again twice, nor finding an appropriate time to do it. It was hard to pick a picturesque moment when each day was paperwork, punching people in the face during spars, and orchestrating the well-being of such a large group. Given that the closest thing he could get to a romantic occasion was laying down on the grass while Nalah barked orders at the construction crews in the distance, he didn’t feel like it was ever a good time to ask. It was even harder picturing himself doing it to the two of them, as if it cheapened the gesture in some way.
Then there was the part of himself that feared rejection—as stupid as it sounded. They could deny the alien practice, not share the same sentiment, or any number of disagreements that would render him kneeling like an idiot. As unlikely as it was, it could even be too great a commitment for them, the implication of their entire lives being pledged solely to him being a crushing weight, rather than a promise of mutual loving dedication.
Sure, now they were speaking as if it was the case, but the circumstances as they were lent themselves to it being a product of necessity. Who was to say that it would remain the same once they got off this rock and—hopefully—in touch with their own people again. Would they still feel the same way with an entire species back on the table as possible romantic partners? Would he still be enough?
“Joseph,” Sahari called out with worry and irritation in equal parts. “You are making me anxious.”
“Hm? Oh, sorry,” he apologized sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck as he was reminded that more than one person could be afflicted by his emotional state. She placed a paw to her hip.
“Are the proceedings really such a means for strife?”
“Ah, no, it’s just…” He averted his eyes, offering Violet a token smile when she seemed to be concerned about him. He inhaled deeply. “It’s just…I have reservations about it.”
She raised a brow. “I need not a bond to know you care for them deeply enough to toss your life to the Void for them.”
His weak smile faltered further. “Well, yeah. They mean everything to me, but I cant help but remember how things went last time, I guess. There’s a million and one ways it could go up in smoke, and I…” He fell quiet for a moment, Violet pressing herself into his side in an attempt to cheer him up. He rested a hand against her back, the texture comforting in a way. “I want it to be an important moment in our lives, rather than some disposable token that they accept without thinking much. It’s not like they’re swimming in potential romantic partners here, so it feels like they’d be agreeing for lack of options.”
She stared at him with a hesitant expression, her cheek pinched between her teeth and eyes narrowed in thought. “Pan would sooner end her own life than be separated from you, and Tel would end any who so much as suggested such,” she stated finally. “To you, the mark upon your flesh is but a sting that fades. To them, it is their declaration that they have found their reason to live. A declaration that is shown to all others of our people the moment they draw near. Though Pan lacks the means to impart her own, she is rather pleased that another is able to in her stead and treats it as her own for all intents.”
She grabbed him roughly by the arm, pulling him into her breast as she stood to her full height, a surprised yelp stifled by soft clothing and fur.
“Unfortunately for you, openly voiced or not, we all feel as such. Though you bear not the mark of everyone in the den, I assure you that to be removed from you would leave us lesser, regardless of bond.”
He shut his mouth at the last addition. There was a weight behind knowing that people were likely to simply give up on living if you were away for too long. It put the relationship in front of a loaded gun for both parties. They couldn’t afford to break it off from him because existing would become a living hell, and he couldn’t change his mind for any reason because it would be the same as killing them.
What kind of marriage was one built upon such fragile pillars? How could they be happy when every fight was tempered by the threat of the end of everything? What about Sahari? Could she ever pursue her own life with Nalah when she had the bond shackling her to him? How long until that became a stinging poison, rotting away the veins and arteries of her psyche? How long until death became preferable to being around him?
A strong impact to his stomach winded him, though the unnoticed hyperventilating left him little to eject as he fell to his knees. Violet clicked in surprise, the wolves backing away at the unexpected violence.
He coughed, sputtering spittle as he fought the urge to evacuate his breakfast. A pained glance up revealed Sahari still clutching a fist, her expression just as hurt.
“You hear my words and twist them, Joseph,” she chastised softly, crouching to look at him better. “We pledged our lives to you. Not because we had no choice, but because we believed you to be our future. From that moment on, our desire was to remain with you.” Her voice grew weak, almost pleading. She placed her forehead to his, the contact an intimate touch. “Your experiences may suggest our bond a prison, but for us, it is an ambrosia for our soul. It completes us like no equal. Jax and Harrow care for you immensely, Nalah and myself owe you everything that we are, and your mates will fight the Hunt Mother herself if it would mean even one more sun with you.”
He found himself speechless, wading through the emotions behind her words a syllable at a time. The feeling of Violet pressing into his back in an embrace stung as much as soothed, his mind rejecting the idea, yet so desperate to accept it.
“Do not desecrate our affections because you had been scorned by one who did not see within you that which we covet,” she implored sombrely, raw emotion oozing through the confines of speech. “Though you doubt it, none would know how much value you place in the ‘mark’ of your people more than your mates. If merely thinking about the unlikely event that they refuse tortures you so deeply, than the elation they would share with you when they agree would likely see Pan unable to contain herself for many suns after.”
He stayed on his knees, the warmth surrounding him from both sides seeping within and thawing the frozen excuses he held onto to prevent exposing himself to potential rejection. Every step of the way since he had met them, it had made him fearful of losing their company. At first, the thought of being left alone to brave the planet was too much to bear, but he would try. Now? Now he felt like he understood where the minds of those bonded Lilhuns had been. Even considering being away from his new loved ones pulled at a primal part of himself, each tug stronger than the last, each suggestion fanning the flames barricaded behind morals—the depths he would trudge to see it never come to pass.
Sahari nuzzled into his neck for a moment before parting, a somewhat satisfied smile given towards the emotionally fragile Human they had taken to depending on. He returned his own, though it was tinted with a bit of embarrassment.
Violet stepped back to allow him room to stand, the extended joint of her blade asking to be held like he did with her adoptive mother. His expression softening, he did as requested, lightly rubbing the smooth surface with his thumb. It soothed a part of him to be holding his daughter’s ‘hand’ while they watched the wolves slowly approach the front of their enclosure again, now that the momentary intensity had faded.
With a self-deprecating roll of his eyes, he nodded, promising himself to follow through with his small wish the next time the chance revealed itself. It didn’t need to be perfect, but it would be nice if it was at least private. The dull ache in his stomach would be a reminder not to second guess himself anyway.
The wolves yipped, ignoring Sahari as they moved towards the other corner. Joseph glanced at where they were focused, his curious gaze replaced by surprise, then shock.
Raine supported Faye over her shoulder, the deep gold-furred female’s breath short as she rested her weight over her brown-furred counterpart, their black leather coats dripping water onto the floor as it wrapped tightly around them, concealing their armour. A steady trickle of blood flowed from a long gash on Faye’s leg, her free arm clutching across her breast to keep her coat closed.
Without waiting for either to speak, he ran to pick up the Wraith, slinging her across his shoulders and tearing off to the base. He could barely hear Sahari over the rain and his own blood pounding through his ears, his heart hammering in his chest. Though they had established something of a clinic for minor injuries that were sustained constantly, his singular focus was getting Faye into the medbay.
Pack members cleared the way, some jumping to the side as he barrelled through the sparely populated routes between home and workplace. More than one tripped over themselves in shock, the Human never having a reason to go at a full sprint before. He was slower than a Lilhun like this, but he could make it the full distance before them. He didn’t need to slow down.
Harrow pushed open the doors to the hub, her distant expression as she examined thin ironwood tablets perking, his rapid heavy footfalls telling of his arrival before she had the chance to see him. Her eyes lit up, her brows furrowed, and a hurried pull of the door kept it open for him, all in sequence. He didn’t have the spare breath to explain or thank her.
The orange-furred female bolted across the hub, slamming into the crash-bar installed into the facilities wing entrance to force it open, only barely outpacing the Grand Hunter in his rush. She staggered to her feet behind him, rushing to collect herself and assisting in tearing the pants off of the injured female when Joseph laid her on the bed.
Modesty being the least of his concerns, he braced an arm across her pelvis to stop her hips from bucking as Harrow wiped off any dried blood to see the extent of the damage on her thigh.
“What happened?”
He tightened his hold on Faye as his friend tentatively spread the wound to check for debris. “Don’t know. Didn’t ask. Saw her bleeding, rushed her here,” he answered through deep breaths, each strike of his adrenaline-fuelled heart pressing against his lung capacity.
Harrow frowned, grabbing some sterile water to pour over the wound and picking out a stray splinter of wood that looked to be from her missing leg armour. Faye let out a small whine, but didn’t have it in her to talk yet, signs of exhaustion and pain unfocusing her eyes.
The Head of Technology—and current medical expert in the room—pursed her lips against her muzzle. “We need to stitch it. It’s too big for just healroot.”
Joseph nodded, easing his weight off the Wraith and wiping his sweat from his brow. “Pan!”
Noticing the urgency in his voice, he could hear her throw the door to the sewing room wide open and jog to the medbay, her wide eyes steeling as she assessed the situation.
“Idee with you?”
She nodded, ears turned perfectly towards him.
“One of you boil off some palm string, the other sterilize the thinnest quill you can get away stitching a wound closed with. I don’t care who, but we need one of you to close this up.” He glanced at Harrow. “Grab some alcohol. I keep a bit in the closet in my room, next to the old crossbow prototypes. We need to flush this out and kill off anything that might have gotten in.”
The orange-furred female tipped an ear in confusion as Pan took off to do as he asked. “I thought you didn’t have medical-”
“I’ve been around enough workplace injuries, okay? Go!”
His shout jolted her into action, a few steps required to gain traction as she ran out the door. Applying solid pressure to the wound with one hand, he used the other to lightly tap Faye’s cheek.
“Faye? Faye, you with me?”
Her eyes languidly turned to him, slow blinks and meaningless mouthing ceased, a soft smile forming under her pained expression. “Hello, sir.”
He exhaled a relieved huff. “Welcome home, Faye. What happened?”
She seemed confused by his question, glancing down to her leg after a few seconds. With widened eyes, she struggled to sit up, Joseph forcibly pressing her to the bed.
“Stay.”
All resistance disappeared in an instant, her body complying despite the obvious urgency. He hardened his expression.
“What happened?”
She breathed deeper a few times before speaking. Each word was hesitant, as if the memory was hazy and diluted, though he couldn’t tell if it was due to blood loss or exhaustion. “A large grey beast…teeth, large mouth...attacked wolves...”
His brow knitted, Faye’s coat moving. A small whine came from her again…no. Not her.
A small yellow canine head freed itself from the confines of black leather, a weak keening produced from a tiny moss-wolf. Faye looked at him guiltily, a pleading look in her eyes given as she composed herself.
“It lost its parents…”
His protest died in his voice, a distant memory of a wolf being torn in two came to mind. The time before they had even moved to the pod, let alone met the Lilhuns, him and Violet checking snares shortly after his ankle had healed. A time so long ago, yet remained with him under the surface.
“You saved this little guy, huh?” he asked gently, wincing in tandem with her own when he leaned heavier on the massive gash in her thigh. She nodded, averting her eyes. “Did you get the ‘beast?’”
Faye shook her head. “Raine lured it away, but it still remains.”
“That’s fine. You’re back, that’s all that matters right now.”
Harrow bumped into the doorway, failing to shed all of her speed as she returned from fetching a smaller container that Joseph kept in case the rest of the pack burned through their stores of alcohol. Her eyes flicked to the wolf pup before disregarding it to hand him the ethanol. He lifted his hand, Harrow pouring some water to wash off the blood. Volta would be busy later, it seemed.
Gesturing for the orange-furred female to hold the leg down, he poured the alcohol into the wound, grimacing at Faye’s pained gasp. They didn’t have anything for her to bite into, but that would be a future consideration.
Pan and Idee entered the medbay, the former moving like a machine with purpose while the visiting seamstress took a moment to size up the situation. The Paw fetched a tray from the shelf, laying out several strings of softened palm and a few thin quills, threading one and passing it to Idee. The light brown-furred female accepted it, Harrow making room as she stood next to Joseph.
Pan handed him a tough leather strip as wide as his palm. Seems like she saw the problem before he did.
“Open up,” he prodded, placing the leather between Faye’s teeth. “This is going to fucking suck. We don’t have anything to numb you, so you need to stay as still as possible, okay? I’ll be here the whole time.”
The Wraith nodded, staring at him for a moment before closing her eyes in acceptance, her grip on the pup firming.
“Want me to take the wolf?”
She lightly shook her head, him exhaling hesitantly in response. Idee readied herself, looking to him for confirmation, Pan holding Faye’s ankle flat to the bed.
“You’re good,” he responded, pressing an arm to Faye’s chest and hips to hold her down.
The deep gold-furred female managed a quiet muffled groan of pain as the quill pierced her flesh.
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He entered the hub, dropping himself on the couch and ignoring the sweat on his brow. He had only just managed to get the blood off of his hands after Idee finished, but it was still staining his clothing. Pan was off to rinse it out of her fur while Faye slept off her exhaustion. As far as they could tell, she had avoided any infection thanks to Raine half-dragging the female back to them as quickly as she did. The wolf pup was staying with her for now, since—even in her sleep—she refused to let it go. The little guy didn’t seem to be complaining, so they just left it where it was comfortable. Ferra would be by later to check it out, apparently, and he didn’t see a reason to complain; she was their animal expert.
Scarlet offered him some tea, the warm liquid whetting his pallet that had since dried. Sahari had checked on them during the process, leaving to keep anyone who had questions in the loop. Given that half the damn pack either saw or heard about the Grand Hunter running like a bat out of hell, pretty much everyone was worried. Either about some urgent threat that might befall them, or about one of the quiet servants they had grown used to seeing around.
Looked like the Wraiths had taken to offering small services and assistance to people who needed it when they didn’t have anything better to do, so the pack was curious about what had happened. It was a small blessing that the usual armour they wore when ‘on duty’ was covered by the cloaks, otherwise he would have more questions coming that he didn’t want answered.
Raine stood a few paces in front of him, her bowed posture holding a hint of fear under his unwavering stare. He waited for whoever else was going to show up for the report, Tel and Pan insisting that they be involved. Harrow followed behind the two entering from the facilities wing, either because she had gotten wrapped up in the whole thing, or because she wanted to be included.
Pan sat to his left, Tel taking a place behind him to remain standing. Harrow surprised him, her recently elusive presence firmly displaced as she dropped onto the couch to his right, her tail curling around his calf—not that she seemed to notice.
Given that both Tel and Pan trapped a limb or two with their tails regularly, he didn’t stop to put thought into it, the encapsulating appendage crossing him as a common occurrence.
“I don’t know how accurate it was, since she’s still pretty out of it, but Faye said one of those grey bear-deathtraps attacked some wolves before she stepped in to save the pup,” he opened, glancing at Scarlet. The almost black red-furred female was maintaining a surprisingly commanding presence, her attention laser-focused on Raine. The brown-furred Wraith kept her gaze fixed to the floor, too ashamed or nervous to move it.
“I apologize for her error in her stead,” she announced, the slightest of grip in her folded paws digging her claws into her skin. “The fault is also mine for not preventing her misstep. I will accept any punishment for our mistake.”
He exhaled heavily. “I’m not mad that you guys had an original thought, Raine. I’m worried about those iron-maiden-looking fucks being around again, and I’m concerned about you getting hurt.”
“Of course, sir. Forgive me for the arrogance of assuming your priorities.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose, Pan squeezing his thigh in support. Tel rested her head on his, the weight somehow comforting despite the grin at his annoyance. “We can talk about not getting yourselves killed later. Are you injured at all?”
Raine’s ear twitched. “No, sir. I am whole.”
“Good,” he sighed, nodding lightly. “That’s good. Faye’s patched up for now, but she’ll be under observation to keep on top of any possible infection. How did the ‘mission’ go?”
The Wraith perked up a bit, the conversation moving away from her perceived failure. She produced a satchel, pulling a rather thick stack of tablets from it and passing them to Scarlet, the latter ferrying them to Harrow. He thought it was an odd choice, but the orange-furred female started giving him an abbreviated translation of the text.
Line after line of transactions. What was offered and received, any debts and who owed them, as well as small notes about what should be brought next time. It was a comprehensive copy of the ledger that the trading caravan kept. His brows raised at the sheer density of information, and for them getting it from something he was only partially sure existed.
“You managed to get this much?” he asked in disbelief. “Jesus. Were you caught?”
Raine shook her head. “If we were to be seen by them, we would be nothing more than a stain against our Blademaster.”
Compliment or boasting, doing this much was damn impressive. Especially with just the two of them.
“Shit. Well, good fucking job, I guess,” he managed, still reeling a bit from the unintended scope of the task. Harrow continued to dig through the report, though stopped voicing it aloud. Joseph turned his attention back to the Wraith. “Anything else of note? Rumours?”
The Wraith grew pensive. “Though we returned partially through their return trip to Grand Hunter Pernel, we did overhear some conversations. There were discussions of other packs simply no longer occupying their settlements.”
He leaned forward in his seat, dislodging Tel as his elbows rested against his knees. “What do you mean?”
“Some of their usual trade locations were purportedly burned down, others merely abandoned. A few were apparently littered with corpses,” she explained more steadily. “From what we could gather, the reason they came to trade with our settlement at all is that the others along the way were in such states. It seems they intended to restock and head back out immediately to accommodate the loss in trading partners.”
He bit his lip as he thought about it, letting himself fall back against the couch.
“What do you guys think of it?” he asked with a glance to his mates. Pan seemed to be mirroring his own apprehension openly, while Tel kept a more serious expression.
“I believe there is something larger happening,” Tel concluded, taking a few seconds before returning to using him as a headrest. Pan nodded her agreement, but didn’t have much to add to it otherwise.
“It would explain how desperate they were for food,” he mused aloud, raising a brow when Harrow shifted to lean against him, one foot placed on the edge of the seat forcing the posture. “Any details of interest, Harrow?”
The orange-furred female jolted, only just stopping from moving her foot back to the floor before committing to using him as a backrest. She turned back-on fully, stretching her legs over the remainder of the seat and placing tablets she had finished with on her lap.
“It didn’t take very long for the methods you sold to propagate,” she responded, holding up a few of the tablets before laying them in their own pile. “Looks like Pernel has been spreading it around by buying some from places that have bows and snares to sell where they don’t.”
“Supply and demand, or arming people with the tools that would help them survive?”
“Hard to trade with the dead,” Harrow commented dryly, starting a new pile. He nodded in exaggerated fashion.
“What about the Atmo?”
She tapped the small stack she just started. “I’m trying to separate these by inventory type. Give me a bit.”
Deciding to trust the woman in charge of managing this kind of thing while she was on the ship, he glanced back to Raine, the female easily mistaken for a statue if not for the subtle sway of her breathing. “The grey-bear-thing. How far away is it?”
“Too close,” she responded firmly. “We did not get a chance to verify their numbers, but there was evidence of at least that singular beast making our territory its hunting ground.”
“Fuck,” he muttered through gritted teeth. “We’re going to need to hunt that thing down.”
Pan looked worried at the prospect, Harrow stiffened in her sorting. The Wraiths were the only ones who seemed completely at ease with the suggestion, Tel not so much as twitching. Harrow laid down the tablets she had yet to categorize, her gaze aimed at her lap.
“Joe, don’t think that taking one out is easy.”
“We have ranged weapons and more than a few people who can use them,” he pointed out with a breath. “Ideally, we go as a larger hunting party and take the damn thing down through sheer volume of fire.”
“Their skin is tough,” Harrow replied with a shake of her head, her ears pivoting back towards him. “I don’t know if our bows could pierce it as easily as we might like.”
He furrowed his brow. “So, what? Let it close in until it eats everything and starves us out? Until it thinks we look tasty?”
“I don’t know. I’m just saying that this won’t be as simple as firing a few arrows and patting ourselves on the back for a job well done.”
Joseph felt the stiffness of his brow start to hurt from how tight they were knitted. A deep breath centred his thoughts. “We’ll arrange an armoured hunting party soon. Better to take it down before it becomes an issue.”
The orange-furred female nodded, quickly leafing through the remaining tablets and only pulling two more out for the pile she indicated earlier.
“Here,” she said, tapping the stack. “These are records for trading Atmo.”
He suppressed the sigh when he genuinely tried to read the mess they called a language. “How many? Who bought them?”
She hesitated, reforming the copy of the ledger—sans the relevant tablets—and placing it on the floor. The remainder in paw, she held them up over her shoulder, Tel accepting it and going over the contents with an interested tilt of her head.
“From what I can see here, Pernel traded two hundred.”
“Two…” he squeaked, his eyes wide. “Two hundred?”
She nodded, pacing around the couch to stop in front of Pan. “It seems others heard of his willingness to barter for them. He accepted quite a few deals before selling them off again.”
“To who?”
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
The door to the ship closed with a hiss, Willin shaking his head at Nav’s questioning gaze. “Nothing.”
Tech removed her CARDs, storing them in the weapons locker before shrugging off her AMR to place in its own unit. “Nothing living, anyway.”
“That bad?” Nav asked, deflating after yet another failed attempt to contact a settlement. The dark green-furred male stored his rifle, seating it into its receptacle with a click.
“Tell Comms to add another eighty to the count.”
“Four hundred eighty-two,” the purple-furred female supplied as she walked past Nav to enter the ship proper. Willin followed after, hanging his pistol holster on the side of his chair as he dropped into it.
“Thirty were covered in wounds, twenty or so were executed, twenty-five looked to have died of accumulated trauma, and the rest were found with singular cuts to the throat.”
“Not quite,” Tech remarked, interfacing with the systems. “Only eight of the ‘executed’ seem to have been done up close.”
“Sniper?” Comms asked as he entered the room, nodding his greetings and taking a seat at his station. Nav crossed their arms and leaned against the doorway as Tech Ops ran some numbers on her screen.
“Wounds are consistent with Anti Material Rifles, and debris suggest they took the ‘material’ part into consideration with their shots. There were a few holes in the buildings that didn’t quite get removed by the fires.”
“Covering evidence?” Willin mused aloud, receiving a thoughtful shake of her head.
“No, I don’t think so. My guess is that the buildings were already on fire when they did it, based on the splinters around the exit holes.”
Comms’ eyes widened in surprise. “Shooting through a burning building? That is rather impressive.”
“Blades?” Nav suggested. “Avalon is required to act against those who break the treaty, no?”
“Maybe,” Tech allowed tentatively. “If it was them, then that would explain the lack of targets.”
Willin scratched at his ear, furrowing his brow as Comms ran another scan for any communications being made. Though a few suns had passed since they had unwittingly agreed to involve themselves in what was likely the first case of war that this planet had ever seen, nothing was being sent anywhere. Regardless, the male kept the scans regular, just in case.
Nav switched the foot they were resting on. “Why not just dispose of everyone breaking the treaty?”
“Maybe they did,” Comms commented, turning back to the conversation as the program ran in the background. “Blades typically function under strict conditions. If they removed anyone who was commanding the hostile action, then they did as required of them. The moment the attack stopped, they completed the terms of the treaty.”
“Or if the Grand Hunter here surrendered and allowed their pack to be subsumed,” Willin proposed, the others glancing at him in curiosity. He waved a paw dismissively. “If everyone in the conflict becomes a single pack, then any fighting from those who still disagree with it is now an internal dispute, thus outside of the purview of the Blades. Check the notes on Grand Hunter Toril and High Hunter Bratik.”
Tech’s eyes unfocused for a moment as she accessed the system. “Avalon is forbidden from interfering with internal politics. Toril was sheltered by Bratik. Since Bratik was from outside of Toril’s pack, it counted as acting against their right to manage their own affairs. Hasen was given a perfect reason to take over, and it forced Grand Hunter Trill to exile the both of them to adhere.” She looked around the room aimlessly as she thought, her eyes snapping to Willin when he spoke.
“And a perfect loop-hole to exploit. Toril loses his supporters, Trill loses a member of his command structure, and Hasen rises in power while leaving Avalon to grit their teeth.” He shook his head, both impressed and disgusted. “Once he attacks another pack, he just forces a vassalage and subsequently executes the new High Hunter for whatever reason he wants. The Blades can’t act on a technicality.”
“So Grand Hunter Pernel….”
Willin nodded at Comms' unfinished question. “In the count.”
“There was a bit of a weird holding area,” Tech added after a moment. “Seemed like somewhere to hold livestock, but even then, it was a bit big. I’m not sure what used to be there, but tracks suggest carts left with whatever it was not long before everything went down, so probably a trade caravan.”
“Well, at least someone made it out,” Nav sighed, pushing off the wall to resume their station. “Where are we going next?”
Willin toyed with the odd silver tablet in his paw, the two unrecognizable scripts curious and alien. “The only pack left before we see what all the fuss is about. Let’s pay a visit to Grand Huntress Sunundra. Hopefully she knows something we don’t.”
Next
A/N: Been a while since we’ve had a proper A/N, huh. Welp, here’s this one. Patreon is currently set to ‘per post’ because i made the account ages ago. Waiting on support to help me switch it to monthly, then I’ll post the Silva render i have. RR is at 30k views and 100 followers.
Figured I’d ask how you guys are liking this arc, hows Willin’s team coming across, etc.
Final note: I’m thinking about rewriting the first ‘book’ so i can get it edited and published! Problem: i have no fucking clue where to cut book 1, and editors are expensive. Where should book 1 end? All i know is that I’d prob end up adding extra chapters to it, as well as lengthening the OG chaps. RR is a ‘touch-up’, not a final product, so those don’t count!

hey, everyone! this is something i’ve had in mind to do for a while now. what pushed me over the edge, though, was this post that was recently published that brought up the detail of how toothless’s tongue shape changed in httyd 2 from how it was in the first movie.
now that may seem like a small, almost meaninglessness bit of trivia, but it got me thinking about how his design changed as a whole, and then how his characterization was showed in all three movies (keep in mind, i’m sticking to the movies here, not the shows).
in the first movie, toothless fully resembles a dangerous, apex predator: his features are sharper, he’s sleeker and more aerodynamic, which subconsciously makes us understand how alien he is to civilization and how truly terrifying he can be. his initial characterization reflects this: while he spares hiccup—showing that he’s not a mindlessly driven creature—he still appears untrusting, aggressive and scary. as the movie progresses, we can understand that part of it was, without a doubt, born out of his own fear of the situation he was in: his character and arc are a perfect mirror of hiccup’s own.
both of them are scared of the other (toothless moreso because of the situation he’s in because of his tailfin, but you get the idea), but are also incredibly curious. hiccup keeps going back to him, and toothless never overtly pushes him away or scares him off completely.
the forbidden friendship sequence is when everything truly changes. toothless goes from someone we see as a scared animal to an incredibly complex, intelligent being that is willing and wants to see more of hiccup’s world. showing hiccup trust in the form of placing his snout in his hand is still a display of character that hasn’t been matched again, to me.
in the first movie, toothless represents the bridge between dragons and humans, as hiccup represents the one between humans and dragons. both of them realize the others are beautiful beings that do not deserve the “war” that has been raging for hundreds of years.
now. in the second and third film, toothless’s design changes. not in a drastic way, but in one that wouldn’t be noticed by general audiences unless it was pointed out to them. his features become blockier, his brows get more pronounced and his face gets rounder, his eyes become bigger and he overalls become more "friendly". you could see this as a visual display of how he's changed, i.e. going from hiccup's "foil" to best friend, but i sincerely doubt that was the intention. in my mind, they decided to accentuate his cuteness and playfulness, since that is something that people went crazy over in the last movie (rightfully so, he is very cute!), but made him become... just that. the cuteness, the "aww" moments, are most of what he has for the second film, until the he snaps out of the alpha's mind control thanks to his bond with hiccup, and we get the amazing challenging the alpha sequence. but two good scenes can't really be defined "characterization".
the third movie is where it gets a bit complicated. because toothless does get a lot of characterization and an arc in this one, but it's been a point of contention for a while whether it's good characterization or not. he falls in love quickly, something that despite what you think of the light fury (i mean, i don't even like her) does appear to be in character, as he displays the same blind curiosity that drove him closer to hiccup in the first movie. he decides to become king of dragons even quicker, though, and that's where problems start to arise for me. he'd never displayed any drive or desire to lead dragons, in any of the previous movies (you could point to him becoming the alpha in the second one, but he'd always seemed to moreso accept the role than directly seek it out), which becomes even more jarring when that, paired with a sub-par romance plot where we don't really care about his other half, become his main drives that lead him to abandoning humans--but, more importantly, hiccup.
toothless's desire to protect his best friend, and the love he displays for humanity (once he gets closer to it) were his main points of character. and i do understand that the switch he experiences in the third movie could be seen as a realistic portrayal of someone finding something greater to fight for, and a different drive in life, but to me it was too much, and too late. if they wanted to have him leave feel like a natural progression of his character, they should have committed to it beforehand. maybe create a fourth film to tie it off nicely, i don't know, but it simply feels like they wanted to have the end of the novels (i.e., the dragons leaving) without committing fully to it--and toothless was one of the things that suffered the most from it.
anyways, whew, that was long! i apologize, and i hope this was understandable. english isn't my first language, so do point out any mistakes that i made, and tell me whether you agree or not! do any of you like how he was portrayed in the final film? i'm very curious to hear.

Since I couldn't find another channel suitable to post this I promptly created one ^-^
I'm a 23 year old guy from Munich. I feel like the UL trend in Trekking and similar is just not the most sustainable development. Often times when the material is reduced to the absolute minimum it loses durability.
Yet I like sturdy stuff. So I pack heavy.
Sometimes it sucks, sometimes it's a positive challenge with great benefits.
Even though my experience is limited I wanted to share it with you, in hopes of helping someone or receiving valuable experience from you :)
​
Info:
- 23 years old
- 186cm (6 foot)
- 71kg
- sporty but not athletic
​
Experience:
​
Aprox. a year ago I started to get into heavy backpacking. I made a packlist for my life on the road and realised it was freakin heavy but I still couldn't/wouldn't reduce it much. The plan is to go from Munich to Sweden, making a U-Turn somwhere in the north and going south again (possibly Spain). I will travel by foot for as much as I can. But if I get annoyed by an area I'll take the train.
​
So I bought up the gear I'd need.
A heavy external frame pack with countless molle attachments was to be the base.
​
Since I'm a sucker for durable equipment everything I own is 2-3x the weight of it's UL counterpart. But fuck I love my waxed jacked and synthetic sleeping bag.
​
I always carried kinda heavy. The load I carried 'cross the Alps was apr. 21kg. Some called me insane but I was glad for every item.
Steady, calm pace loads of breaks and eating a lot made for a great trip.
​
Now I started going up to 30-35kg for low-distance hikes.
I just went outta my door into the neighboring forests and walk.
Most of the time something like 20-30km there -> overnighter -> back...
​
Takeaways:
​

1. Main thing I noticed was the change in body dynamics.

I use my hips and glutes to stabilize the pack much more than with a light one.
Body rotation and smaller steps are crucial to keep a safe footing and be injury free.
This change takes time getting used to and training the appropriate muscles.
​

1. Since any Heavy-Duty pack worth it's money will have some kind of rigid frame the upper body is immobilized and thus tends to stiffen up.

Taking breaks, stretching and relaxing your body is a life saver.
​

1. You will want to adjust the straps constantly.

Having the pack tightened to your body is essential in rough terrain since your body has to counteract all rocking and flopping around with muscle action. This leads to fatigue and possibly injury.
​
3.2 Furthermore the adjustment is important due to it shifting weight and enabling a more equal use of shoulder-, back and leg muscles. If you loosen the shoulder straps that bring the frame of the pack to or away from the body weight will be shifted to or from your shoulder to your lower back/hip.
​

1. Good weight distribution is mandatory.

Heavy, dense stuff packed close to your back and in the lower 2/3 of the pack. Attach water and snacks in pouches at your hip belt to have them accessible without taking off your pack.
​

1. Think about a chest pack to counteract weight, improve posture and have more accessible pack volume.

Attachment packs should be filled with light stuff only; same applies for attaching externally via straps.
​

1. High, stiff boots increase ankle stability. For me they made walking way easier and softened the requirement of constant attention to your body to stay injury free.

​
The future:
​
My final pack will be even heavier, I look forward to share my experience with you.
​
If I don't succeed in carrying the necessary weight sustainably I will look into building a travel cart. Have some funky/fancy ideas floating around :P
​
A pack list will follow soon, looking forward to constructive criticism.
​
Have a nice one 'yall!

Hi, I'm a female on my twenties, normal weight and currently not taking any medication. I have anxiety, high hr when moving (like 150bpm), drink a lot of water, eat a lot of sugar, the urges to pee are frequent, I can't drink caffeine because of hr but the blood pressure is normal, sometimes low and I'm almost underweight
The heart tests, kidney ct scan, thyroid ultrasound are normal. The blood tests were about a year ago low iron, ferritin, folic acid and vitamin D, normal glucose, cholesterol, potassium, sodium, chloride, tsh, thyroid panel and creatinine, slightly low urea (one number under the minimum), very high aldosterone (60 and the normal range is 1 to 22), normal acth (35 and the normal range is 3 to 60) and high cortisol (27 and the normal range is 5 to 22). The gp prescribed a kidney ct scan that is normal and repeat the blood test
The results are now aldosterone high (35 and the normal range is 1 to 22), acth normal (39 and the normal range is 3 to 60) and cortisol very high (35 and the normal range is 5 to 22). The gp said that the endocrinology appointment is going to take a lot of time and said to control anxiety to low the cortisol. I'm reading a lot of scary stories about terminal cancer and I'm so anxious. I'm almost underweight so it's possibly cancer. The blood tests were when I was anxious, can this value of cortisol be so high from anxiety like 900 nmol? I'm so anxious, from what I'm reading if overweight it's possibly not cancer and I'm almost underweight. The endocrinologist appointment is in months, I read that when Cushing doesn't have the common symptoms is possibly cancer. Having normal bp, normal potassium and high aldostetone and high cortisol and almost underweight, should I go to the er? It's been more than a year since the first blood test, is it safe to wait for the appointment? Is there anything else it can be? Any ideas?

Artificial Dumbness
Prologue
Nadia Khan opened her eyes slowly, trying to make sense of the world around her. She had a pounding headache and felt fuzzy and disoriented, as if she were in a dream.
She lay on the cold, hard wooden floor, the thin blanket barely providing any warmth. The room was dark and uninviting, with only the faint light from outside coming in through the window. She heard the powerful roar of the ocean crashing against the boat and the creaking of the ropes swaying in the salty breeze.
She could feel the hairs on her arm standing up as she surveyed the area. There were several other people in the room, their bodies still and silent in their deep sleep. They were dressed in ragged clothes and had chains around their ankles. Nadia felt a cold metal on her own leg and realized she was also shackled to the floor.
She felt a surge of panic and confusion. Where was she? How did she get here? What was going on?
She tried to remember what had happened before she woke up. A blank space in her memory. She couldn't recall anything.
She reached for her headset, hoping to find some clue or explanation. But there was nothing on her head. No headset, no wires, no electrodes. Nothing.
She felt a sudden chill as a realization hit her. She wasn't wearing her VR suit, either. She was wearing a simple dress that looked like it belonged to another century.
She glanced back at the window. Outside, there was a clear blue sky and a vast ocean. The sun glinted off the distant island, its towering mountains and dense forests silhouetted against the sky.
She noticed something else—a small screen floated in the air next to her. As she looked, it had text and numbers. A game status screen? She wondered while squinting her eyes to read it.
Name: Nadia Khan
Class: Stowaway
Level: 50
HP: 100/100
MP: 50/50
XP: 0/10000
Skills: Stealth, Lock-picking, Dagger Mastery...
Quests: Escape from the Pirate Ship (0/1)
She was in a game world.
But how? And why?
She felt a surge of disbelief and fear.
This was impossible.
This was insane…
Chapter 1
The brave remote shores of the beach next to peaks of Mount Silwan had braved more than they showed on their brow. A local fisher, who most people around him considered as polite as a perched peacock, noticed a foundation stone with a marking that made him think of the taste of his wife’s cooking when she was not in a particularly pleasant mood.
The foundation stone was textured and rough to the touch, and from the perspective of a sparrow soaring high, it seemed of colors ranging from a vibrant crimson to a bottle-green with a hint of blueberry blue.
There was something unique about it—to the fisher, it looked like a hedgehog tumbling around, attempting to imitate a rolling tumbleweed in the Hami desert.
On one fine day, a day which did not seem at all different from any other summer day, the village, the beach, and the entire mount Silwan were wiped out completely.
It was all because of a mistake or rather a series of mistakes which occurred even though they had the minimal probability of occurrence—a probability which was lower than that of a group of Monkeys writing a book about a group of monkeys writing a sonata in the style of Shakespeare.
This story is about that mistake which has no relation to the bad cooking or the fisher, but is linked intrinsically to that Foundation Stone and its weird origin.
It all started with a President’s desire to make an AI to control the world.
Zhavi Mastermind felt the cold Himalayan air cut through him as he gritted his teeth and stayed determined. The task he came here for was worth all the effort and care he showed it. Being a software architect working for a start-up focused on mapping the universe, Zhavi had made himself enough money to pay for his travels and more. He could probably afford hired help. But then knowledge was precious, especially information which could lead to unlimited success or even world domination or more. Besides, he needed to have a tiny footprint. The more people with him, the easier it would have been for anyone to spot his operation. And then someone could interfere. Besides, he wouldn’t want even his hired help to know details about his plan. There was too much at stake here. So, he followed the only option for him that seemed right—he had to work under the radar.
His trip so far had been short and mostly sweet. As he had traveled all the way here, there had been a few hiccups here and there, but overall, it had been event-free. Most people recognized him as a tourist, so it made him easy to be ignored.
The night before had been tiring, as he had set up camp here. To a casual visitor, it would appear that Zhavi had set up his base simply because it seemed the right place. He had planned every step of the way. This was the place to be. It was around 30 feet from the target, which made it easy for him to set up a personal area network which had a range of up to 33 feet.
He targeted the place where a power surge had been detected and ignored. As he sat down waiting, he recalled how he had discovered it truly by chance. He had been working with data from a reconfigurable radio telescope and found a powerful signal—a signal which could only have been signifying intelligent life. As he analyzed, he found out that the source was not from any other place but a place in the Himalayan region in Northern Pakistan some distance from the base camp of one of the most formidable peaks, “Nanga Parbat.”
The encryption that he had cracked had been eye-shattering. Initially expecting it to be some boring secret communication by a government, it had shocked him to see the communication in a language beyond anything that existed on the planet. A higher dimensional language, so to speak, with words with meanings which were impossible to decipher for mere humans. Each word lay in the cross section of concepts. As Zhavi explored, he used brute force decryption with the help of resources from a global public super-computing facility to discover the meanings. And what he found was truly astounding. There were historical, cultural, and geographical references in the signals. It was impossible to understand them without taking notes on each of them. The problem, however, was that none of them were from Earth and that’s when he realized he had to get here.
The data scientists ignored the signal as an outlier even though it had been detected once. As Zhavi dug deeper, he found another incident over two decades back.
Zhavi had been compiling the data for the last three years now. And he knew now was the time for it to activate again. The signal’s source had been camouflaged to prevent human interference, except during this time.
What he had learned from the signal was too complex to be deciphered easily. But he knew it was enough to conquer the world and more.
He took a long breath inside. The freezing cold mountain air made him feel alive. He felt a gush of warmness as adrenaline poured inside him. The icy wind stung part of his exposed areas like mosquitoes made up of ice crystals.
As he moved outside the tent, snow as soft as cotton fell slowly from the sky. Zhavi was fully alert now. Everything was at stake. If he missed now, he would probably never have another chance. In the next twenty-five years, when the signal repeated, who knew if he could make it? That would not be the worst thing that could happen. The worst would probably be if someone else would find out and if he could find it, what would stop anyone else from doing the same? And the probability of that someone being a powerful government agency such as from the US was high.
Everything seemed just right. He had discovered the signal occurred in a particular alignment of the Earth with a certain very active star system in the Milky way.
If he could find it, someone else could find it too. So, it was now or never.
Zhavi authenticated and opened the shiny black box. Inside, lights were turning off and on as he flipped the switches. Screens around him lit as his custom designed distributed operating system booted up and synched.
A soft voice said, “Your secure Personal area network is now operational.”
“Turn on the security system.”
“Security system turned on. Cameras operational. Lasers are operational and looking for targets.”
Zhavi was a pacifist. He would always tell himself he never believed in violence. But he just hated to be disturbed. He was, however, also a realist. He realized the need for sacrifices for some causes. And that sometimes extreme measures need to be taken to attain success. If there was any such day in his life where he should never be disturbed, it was today.
As he listened to the whirring lasers and the automated drones guarding his position and looking for intruders, he focused his cameras on the approximate location where he thought the item should appear and waited. Everything seemed to be fine.
A sudden, blinding flash of light caused Zhavi to flinch in surprise. He took a step back, his eyes widening in wonder as he tried to grasp the magnificence of the object in front of him.
“Dr. GB, Dr. GB, sir, you need to see this. You have a letter.”
“I have a what?”
“A letter, sir.”
“How is it possible? You know, girl, your brain gone mad. We don’t even have an address. How can somebody send us a letter in the middle of nowhere? It’s the Congo river, not some small lake, Mary.”
“Sir, I assure you it’s for you. I just found it on the porch outside.”
It was a hot day, like many other days in Congo, as Dr. GB Smith sat on his reclining chair in one corner of the makeshift hut that he called his lab. He lazily eyed the plump woman standing near the door, her bright clothing standing out in the shadows.
“Why are you standing over there?”
“Sir, you didn’t let me come in.”
“It’s just a lab.”
“Sir, the last time I tried coming in, that fish thing you have in there. It shocked me.”
“Aha, the eel. You should be proud, Mary. You should tell your grandchildren an eel struck you.”
“Sir, I doubt I’ll have any children or even get married if I keep working for you.”
“It’s not that dangerous, Mary. Be brave.”
“Sir, it’s not about just the place being dangerous. Of course, there are no safety procedures or anything. The real problem is that you don’t pay me. It’s not like you paid me some months of salary and then got late with just one. You haven’t paid me anything. So, if I don’t die after being bitten by one of these things that you keep here in this lab, I think I’ll probably die of starvation. To let you in on a little secret, I am probably only surviving because I am living with my parents.”
“Too much information. TMI, Mary,” said GB. As he eyed her, Mary stood still, looking unconvinced by Dr. GB’s invitation or even his attempts at humor, which she probably considered at least distasteful. Her one hand was on the door, with the other holding something with just one foot inside the lab.
GB scratched his white beard, trying to keep up with his planned expression of an air of disinterest, and looked into her eyes. “So? Aren’t you going to give it to me?”
The girl first looked on both sides and then ran towards him. Before he could say anything, the letter was flying on top of him as he masterfully apprehended it on its way to the side.
He said, “So we are all set, right? You are telling me you are fine. Not starving and still alive. Every day, this is just what every animal in the river can wish for.” He looked up only to find her running away towards the door.
GB sighed. As much as he didn’t want to show it, he was worried. This was the third one this year, and he was running out of candidates. Mary had tolerated him for a period far longer than the previous ones.
As he looked at the letter, he felt the texture of the wax seal beneath his fingertips. His eyes opened wide.
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I've been running a series of lvl 20 one-shots in between my groups campaign sessions, though only two of them have been able to show up for them so far. Next time I'm counting on everybody being available, which will leave me with 5 lvl 20 PCs, most of whom are very familiar with the mechanics and are able to optimize to do some crazy things, even when not at lvl 20.
Two of them are currently fighting a balor, 2 newly summoned nalfeshnee and Iggwilv. I'm assuming when everyone is there, they will readily beat their asses, so I'm preparing a "backup" encounter in a cave with a chasm, with Mind Flayers and Aberrations being the theme.
I've prepared an Elder Brain Dragon and Dyrrn from Eberron, but I thinking of adding some minions to whittle them down a bit. However, as far as I can tell, there aren't really any high Cpowerful monsters that would fit the alien-esque theming of the encounter, let alone be able to hit them.
So I wanted to ask the sub if anyone has any ideas, be it official monsters that I've missed or maybe some high power traps?

Posting on here to pass on what has helped me and hope that it helps someone else. Sorry in advance for the length of the post.
Grew a beard with no problems in my late twenties (2013) and loved it, I don't have a big square alpha jaw so it helped to improve the apparent shape of my face. Not long after, got addicted to amphetamines (2015) for a few years and began pulling when coming down. I would bite any hairs that would reach my mouth and pulled using my fingers for other random spots all over my beard.
Ended up keeping a really short / almost non existent beard because it was becoming so patchy, but wanted the beard back so much. Quit the amphetamines (2017) but the habit still lingered.
I got into mindfulness (2021) through "the power of now" book; I'd listen to the audible on the way to and from work all the time. Over and over. I still listen to it actually. I'll never stop listening to it.
The book has changed my life in that it taught me that the voice inside your head isn't really 'you' - it's the conscious person that listens to that voice that is really 'you'. I won't go into a huge rant but I had an experience where I randomly cried when it clicked that I didn't have to be trapped inside my crazy thinking mind forever. I could just be conscious and alert like a bird or a dog. Without thought. You are separate from your thinking mind.
And then about 9 months ago, the trich faded drastically over the course of a week and I grew my beard back. I've had it for the last 9 months solid. I still pull, but far less frequently and from less areas. I will continue fighting but things are going so much better now.
The biggest take away from this is that - when you are totally present and conscious, you are in complete control of your actions. You wouldn't consciously decide to pull a hair. When you slip in to 'thinking', or inside your 'thinking mind' you go into autopilot habits, and there where nail biting/ trich/ skin picking etc takes place.
I am definitely not present all the time, in fact i still do spend a lot of time inside my 'thinking mind' but I'm a lot more aware of it now. I try to snap into the present straight after a single pull. It's hard and I'm not consistent but the point is I really believe that making an effort to understand and practice mindfulness can really help to manage stress and bring you into the present moment and out of the realm of acting out autopilot habits.
I'm not saying this is an easy fix and it of course should be part of a bigger plan involving sufficient sleep, good foods, fitness activities and anything that helps to put you in a better mental state. I know there are complex cases and I completely respect each person's unique situation. I just wanted to post my observations, and if it helps one single person then it was worth every bit.

I have a cat who is about one year and eight months. She is very high-energy and wants to play all the time. I’m trying to get her on a routine right now that matches the hunt, catch, kill, eat (first day trying) in the hopes that she will settle down. I also leave toys out and tried to find interactive toys so she entertains herself for the times that I’m not playing with her. But the one thing that I’m not sure if it will help is her constantly pacing on me. She walks on me and then gets off and repeats this a lot. It’s very annoying and I would very much like her to stop. She also leaves toys in my bed so when I wake up or move them in my sleep she tricks me into playing with her. Or is given false hope when she realizes that I’m just moving them and I don’t want to play. She also kneads constantly. So much so that I had to get those cat nail thingys. Only mentioning this incase it helps identify this behavior.
I originally got her about 6 months ago to be a companion to my other cat that I’ve had for about a year. They play together and groom each other just fine so I know they’re friends. But even orange cat can’t keep up with her energy and sometimes walks away from her when she tries to play. Also, she often walks on me right when my other cat decides she wants affection and sparks her to leave before she gets all her cuddles. I’m not sure if all this is tied to get her or if there are several things that I need to address. Thanks in advance!

I stole a stack of 'I ♥Arco prices' bumper stickers and cut several up with an X-Acto knife to make one that read 'I ♥ narcotics' which I then affixed to the rear bumper of my high school principal's car, where it resided for most of a week before being removed. Kind of harmless compared to the more elaborate and illegal mischief that, eventually, I outgrew due mainly to the fact that when we are holding in our hands the eighteenth calendar we have ever known, and pass again the month and day of our arrival here, the proverbial slap on the wrist & 'call their 'rents' suddenly becomes a more compelling deterrent. Looking back from this here and now, I was kind of a 'lil shit and was lucky to not have any real scrapes with the blue men beneath their flashing red roof lights. Ironically, not long after this, he (our principal) caught me and two friends smoking pot on campus, and I was brought alone to his office after he suspended the other guys on the spot for two days. They were already on his list of students more likely to be incarcerated than college graduated, while I was an unknown to him and might still benefit from some scare treatment. While I sat across from him, still quite stoned, he got up and left his office for a moment. I can only explain what I did next as a mutinous impulse that had my body's 'In!' before my conscience slash better judgment could shriek 'I'm out.' I took this brief respite from my impending retribution to quickly close and lock his office door, and I began to sample ravenously the brightly-hued fruit candies which filled a large glass jar atop his desk. His rapidly reddening face appeared in the door's thin vertical rectangle of thick glass, which his flared nostrils had begun to partially fog, and he began to violently rattle the heavy door in its frame by its outer handle. He was, understandably, furious. This was actually extremely out of character for me to challenge authority so brazenly and without both the anonymity of darkness and the combined determination of dedicated cohorts. As the memory clarifies while I write these words, much like a half-remembered dream might slowly return, I am more than a bit shocked that I was so blatantly disrespectful. He was shouting at me to unlock his door immediately and to STOP EATING HIS CANDY. I did neither for a bit longer. I was suspended for five days, and he had a lengthy talk with my parents which was the first time I had ever gotten into trouble. Well, the first time I'd been caught truthfully. And so for the next five days, I sulked in the bottom of a hole I'd dug with my own as of yet uncalloused hands, and my folks feared that I had veered onto the road that my oldest brother had taken which led to his being expelled just before graduating, and our father hurriedly pulling strings to get him a civilian job in Antarctica before he derailed his potential. I did not toe that line for as long or as far as he did, however, and can safely say that I am now a much more sociologically and morally acclimated adult who is much more quiescent than that mischievous and, at times, libertine adolescent. Perhaps I should mention in closing that I navigated this period without incurring any irreparable damage to the bedrock that I stand upon today. I graduated college with a BFA and taught art to at-risk kids in Oakland and Berkeley. I have never hurt anyone, intentionally or inadvertently, and I treat those whom I meet on this path with kindness and tolerance with the hope of reminding and inspiring others to do the same.

Is there any MC who got this low lvl, beginner technique and use it to his full advantage? Like making a hole in the ground so the opponent can slip and fall or using thin line of string that cut the enemy if they attack the mc or spitting acid(or other liquids) to blind the enemy. What I mean is that when the MC got a power, they abuse it like their life depended on it. My favorite is when the power branch out like in gaming where a simple fire ability like lighting a candle to launching fireball and then to make the fireball explode and so on. I prefer if the MC instead of granted a new power or cheats from items or someone(like getting a dragon bloodline or legendary sword), expands his ability from fighting and experiences from life. The enemy must be smart too by analyzing and making plans to fight the MC.

i need to lose weight fast
i need to drop atleast 20 pounds before september, hopefully 30 before the year ends. i dont have access to a gym or clean eating very much ( but as ive already lost 40 pounds on snacks and junk food i think its fine ).
i just need to know what i can do to lose as fast as possible, already planning on running and fasting as much as i can, i dont care if its healthy or sustainable i just need to lose as much as possible and fast, i can worry about the rest later.
are there pills/supplements, certain activities or certain foods to add to my diet that can help me with this?
5'2F 135lbs for reference

First and foremost, apologies for my broken English. That being said, let me add my 2 cent as someone who has been able to mask his depression for so long ass time... I mean it, you may not be fully saved, but I can give you a bit of hope.
Around the age of 27 simply realize that many of my failures aren't really worth the excessive effort, but neither enough to drop the towel.
I wanted to be a father, have a wonderful wife, an amazing job and probably have tons and tons of sex, turns out. I suck at all of that! (Yes, I pathetically admit I'm a freaking virgin at this age)
But soon enough I found that. I don't have it as bad as many others.
I'm not trying to convince you that your life, your lack of accomplished goals, or anything about it is perfect neither the best thing you can grip to stay alive. But you know what? Make yourself a favor and think about the following:
-any friend who somehow still has faith in your neither gave up on you -any hobby you still enjoy -any simple yet enjoyable thing as sleeping, eating, etc -any person that is still there for you somehow on your family -and simply and overall, anything else you realize you enjoyed way more as you grew up, hold to it.
I'm telling you this because over the course of my 13 to 20's where I hated myself. soon I realize that i had no reason to be as others wanted me to be.
Right now I have the mouth of a sailor, the attitude of a grandpa, I like to keep playing videogames. And realize imagination and a wank will be more decent than finding a wife that will prolly find an excuse to not fuck me certain nights (which is totally valid, btw) and kids will literally eat my wallet somehow indirectly/directly. Preventing me from getting videogames or at least cutting short the amount I buy at launch, the pizza I will consume, the things I wanna do, etc.
What I'm saying is simple... Keep living, find a new motivation and also find out if some of your current ones are still worth the time.
In my case I learned having tons and tons of money is not an answer to your happyness if the work is stressful. And that I never get tired of eating pizza for some reason during this year. Eventually, you'll find another reason to live, consider it like some kind of always something dumb will make you appreciate living is worth it I'm quite aware this method is not for everyone, but even if your passions are stupid as mine, well... They are ours at the end of the day, let's enjoy them till we find out last stop on this train called life
Sorry if not the holy grail to recover your motivation, but .. it's something right? My current bearing is that I applied to potentially new job to drop and I wanna be diamond on Street fighter 6. Still gonna try that, also because dying sucks and I'm sure it hurts and will make me complain like a bitch, so no thx lol
Have a great night, keeping hitting the walk til you cannot anymore. I wanted to give up at the age of 15 and we'll, here I am... Don't ask me how I keep wondering the same for the past 15 years

Me and my borfriend have been together for over two years now and also moved in together recently. It has not been easy living together because I'm a clean freak and he likes to wait till it escalates and takes one whole day for cleaning.
This has lead to many arguments between us, which is normal I thought. After half a year of living together I realized that he started texting another female friend of his more frequently. I'm not much of a jealous person so I didn't care. I was just a bit pissed because whenever I ask him to text me he says he hates texting and also he answers super dry. I'm not proud that I started an argument over this and it got pretty ugly as well. I apologized for being so toxic over something like this and thought it was alright.
The next days he was super distant. Didn't wanna say I love u back. Hug me or talk to me at all. I thought everything between us was alright and he ensured me that it was. I lead to overthinking so when he was on his work trip the next week I logged into his account and saw the messages between him and his friends.
He was planning on breaking up with me for a while. He texted her the whole time when he told me that he was too busy. She is taken but they still tell each other I love u every day before going to bed and he also vents a lot about our relationship. He never tells me whenever he has a problem but wants me to be more open about my feelings. The things I saw led to a panic attack and I couldn't eat or sleep for the next three days.
They were also talking about her relationship but he never drops the words break up like she does or " your relationship is gonna end soon anyways how" or tells him how dependant, hypocritic and more I am. The worst part is that he didn't even say something against it.
I didn't want to Adress him because I did invade his privacy but when I asked him did u two talk about u being unhappy in this relationship or wanting to break up he said no. When I asked him if she ever had a crush on him because I don't want him to be so close with someone that might have feelings which she had he also lied to me.
In general he's being very disrespectful about me and our relationship. And he said he's just waiting for our lease to expire so he can move out by himself and let the relationship die.
I feel so stupid for staying with him because I am too emotional and don't know what to do. He still thinks I know nothing
Tl;dr My (20) borfriend (22) texts another girl about breaking up with me

Does Beard Oil Increase Beard Growth

Beards have become a popular trend among men in recent years, and many are turning to beard oil to help them achieve the perfect look. But does beard oil really help to increase beard growth? This article will discuss the potential benefits of using beard oil and how it may affect beard growth. We will also explore the different types of beard oil available and some of the key ingredients that are important to consider when choosing a beard oil.

• Men who want to keep their beards looking attractive and healthy are using beard oil more frequently. But does it genuinely promote the development of beards? The solution is somewhat intricate.
• Beard oil is designed to help condition and nourish the beard, which can make it look fuller and more attractive. However, it won’t directly stimulate the actual growth of facial hair. Beard oil can help to keep the hair follicles healthy, which may in turn help the beard to grow thicker and faster.
• Beard oil can also help to reduce beard itch, which can be a major deterrent to growing a full beard. It can also help to keep the beard looking well-groomed, which can help to make it look thicker.
• Beard oil is also beneficial for men who are prone to ingrown hairs, as it helps to keep the skin beneath the beard moisturized. This can help to reduce the likelihood of ingrown hairs, which can cause the beard to look patchy and uneven.

also, learn more about How Can I Increase My Beard Growth

Hello y'all, ya boi is back with another fun drama.
Last time I presented y'all some juicy drama about my favourite hobby: martial arts and fighting (and the lack of knowledge about that the brings so much funny drama).
Today instead I present you some rather interesting and absurd drama coming straight up from a place that would taste the faith in humanity and God of even even the firmest saint and anchorite: Christianity.
So let's start with a lil' introduction then we'll go to have fun with the drama!
So, we all know that religions and art have always had a bivalent relationship of love and hate: religion can be a great source of inspiration and a terrible detroyer of art, many masterpieces were created thanks to various religions and as many were destroyed by the same. We have the Sistine Chapel thanks to a pope that commissioned it while another pope had all the dicks cut off the statues in the Vatican and this is just one of the many ambivalent examples.
I could go on for hours with examples about all of this but that's not the point.
I said all of this as an introduction to present you the latest round of this strange relationship brought to us in form of glorious drama by our beloved subject that got presented here again and again: Christianity.
Let's star then!
Here is the whole post that became the fuse of the drama:
https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/140whn8/what_kind_of_statue_is_this/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
It's a simple question about "The Resurrection" of Pericle Fazzini, wich as you can see it's a rather particular representation of Jesus resurrected from a nuclear crater.
Onto the comments then:
Straight off the bat drama starts in the first thread where OOP recives a normal answer but from there things get out of hand with a question that I never thought I'd say in my life: is that Jesus or a damn dragon? A loooooooooong discussion ensue about this.
https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/140whn8/what_kind_of_statue_is_this/jmxjy0r?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
As a bonus I'll also add another fun answer to this thread:
https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/140whn8/what_kind_of_statue_is_this/jmyls4h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Another person answers again but they add that this is "rotten art" that should be "melted down" though.
https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/140whn8/what_kind_of_statue_is_this/jmxunis?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Right after it's again the turn of the confused-dragon-guy that decided he didn't had enough drama for today. To fix that they made their own thread to have plenty of people to argue with.
https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/140whn8/what_kind_of_statue_is_this/jmxja4t?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Another person starts their own thread about how they interpretate the statue: what if instead of Jesus resurrecting after a nuclear explosion the real meaning is about Satan killing Jesus and dragging Him to Hell? Fortunately or unfortunately this won't be the last Satanist conspiracy thread here.
https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/140whn8/what_kind_of_statue_is_this/jmxnfyx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
In fact here we go with the second Satanist conspiracy thread, honestly it's just so much that I dunno how ro describe this, just read it yourselves and try to make sense from it if you manage 'cause I didn't.
https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/140whn8/what_kind_of_statue_is_this/jmybppq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Now for the next thread: this time the creator hates both the Church and any art representation of God and they are ready to die on that hill against all of that.
https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/140whn8/what_kind_of_statue_is_this/jmxnu9k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Were you hoping that the Satanic conspiracy threads were done? Or did you want more? Anyway, we close in style this post with the third one and honestly after reading it my reaction was the same of that only other user that answered that thread.
https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/140whn8/what_kind_of_statue_is_this/jmxnu9k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Here are some bonuses before finishing:
Now, what does this statue makes you wonder? Maybe we'll never know.
https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/140whn8/what_kind_of_statue_is_this/jmxm5jd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Was the sculpute high on acid the whole time while they made this?
https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/140whn8/what_kind_of_statue_is_this/jmy7fy0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
As a last random bonus: a whole thread removed and deleted, we can just speculate about wich sacred mysteries the discussed before being taken out by some Church sniper.
https://www.reddit.com/Christianity/comments/140whn8/what_kind_of_statue_is_this/jmxj4j6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

I can go a day eating only once. Unless my parents don't force me, I don't eat at all. I sometimes skip lunch, because it's the time when I'll be alone mostly. I've been noticing this for the past few days. My weight although not significantly dropped by 3-4 kgs.
I do feel hungry but it's like very very rarely.
I can't even enjoy food from outside. I don't need/crave for them even during my periods. I couldn't believe I threw away my remaining maggi one day. Things like Momos chilli potato spring rolls imagining all these just make me wanna throw up. My parents have been forcing me to see a doctor because they think I look weak (I don't think so). I'm not deliberately doing this. I just don't feel like eating. Homemade food too is boring and makes me full quickly. Mom throws dangerous stares when I say I'm done.
I've been taking a lot of stress these days. Maybe it's because of that . Should I be concerned?