Popular wedding venues in the western and central states were featured in Part 1 of US wedding venues. So in part two, we'll focus on wedding venues in the eastern states. Whether it's a luxurious hotel, a rustic barn, or a spacious meadow, all are included. Again, the features of these venues and the approximate prices will be written. Let's explore these beautiful wedding venues!

Wisconsin Wedding Venues

The Paine Art Center and Gardens

This is an art museum located at 1410 Algoma Blvd, Oshkosh. It is an English-style country estate and has nearly four acres of gardens. It has perennial plants and is a great outdoor ceremony venue. Also, there is a historic mansion, charming carriage house, and greenhouse. The venue can accommodate up to 200 people and costs approximately $3000 to $4000 For 100 Guests.

The Lageret

This is a professional event venue located at 515 E Main St, Stoughton. This historic venue offers industrial and rustic charm with exposed brick walls, high ceilings, and wood beams. It has ample space for ceremonies and receptions. The venue offers event coordination, customizable lighting options, a bridal suite, and access to preferred vendors. Accommodations for up to 250 people start at $3,500 for a 12-hour rental.

The Enchanted Barn

Located at 1543 6 1/2 Ave, Hillsdale, this barn has an old-world rustic atmosphere around every corner. Featuring several indoor and outdoor venues, one of the most popular ceremony locations is located in Barn's upper-level Hayloft, featuring old wood timbers. Several wedding package options are available here and can accommodate up to 220 people. Off-season all-inclusive wedding packages are $5,000 plus $21 per person.

Illinois Wedding Venues

Danada House

This is a historic mansion located at 3S501 Naperville Rd, Wheaton. a short drive from Chicago. The mansion is also surrounded by a forest preserve that allows for nature-filled photos. There are seven ceremony locations in total, and the largest Magnolia Garden can accommodate up to 300 guests. Venue rentals start at $3,500.

The Morton Arboretum

This is a public nature garden and outdoor museum located at 4100 IL-53, Lisle. Inside there are not only mature trees and flowers but also a playground for children. Offering beautiful woodland and lakeside views. The large garden has a total of 12 venues to choose from and the largest room can accommodate up to 300 guests. Prices range from $600 to $9,000 depending on the size of the room and the time of year it is held.

Salvage One

Located at 1840 W Hubbard St, Chicago, this is a very unique location that serves as a store besides being a wedding venue. It preserves treasured furniture from the past. This old Chicago warehouse offers an enchanting vintage atmosphere. The ceremony and banquet space can accommodate about 200 people and space rentals start at $4,000.

Kentucky Wedding Venues

The Barn at Cedar Grove

The address is 1000 Brockman Keltner Rd, Greensburg, which has a rustic barn setting with picturesque scenery. Offering outdoor ceremony space, climate-controlled reception space, bridal suite, groom's quarters, and fire pit. The venue in the barn can accommodate up to 230 people. For fewer guests, the average budget for a wedding here is between $6,000 and $9,000.

The Brown Hotel

This 100-year-old hotel is located at 335 W Broadway, Louisville. The hotel has a striking Georgian Revival look and offers elegant ballrooms, luxurious accommodations, and a gorgeous rooftop garden. The hotel also has extensive experience in hosting weddings of different cultures, such as Jewish and Indian weddings. Prices are $18,000 in the off-season and can accommodate up to 300 guests.

Talon Winery & Vineyards

This winery has a large outdoor space at 7086 Tates Creek Rd, Lexington. Offers vineyard and winery backdrop, outdoor ceremony space, and rustic barn. The best part is the wine-tasting and vineyard tours. The venue can accommodate up to 250 guests and prices for ceremonies start at $1500.

Tennessee Wedding Venues

Butterfly Hollow

Located at 28 Bussell Rd, Gordonsville, our vacation accommodations are perfect for small weddings. Surrounded by scenic walking trails, mountains, and woods. This venue specializes in small weddings of 30 people or less, with a focus on an intimate and cozy experience. Wedding packages range from $1795 to $5000.

Dixon Gallery and Gardens

An art gallery on 17 acres of gardens located at 4339 Park Ave, Memphis, offers a romantic and artistic setting for weddings. The gallery offers two indoor reception venues as well as woodlands and gardens, both of which can accommodate up to 200 guests. Prices are approximately $4000 to $5000 For 100 guests.

The Bell Tower

The Bell Tower, located at 400 4th Ave S, Nashville, is almost 140 years old. The ballroom features large windows that provide plenty of natural light, creating a charming and historic setting for weddings. There are two floors beside the lobby. Seated dinners for up to 400 people range from $3,500 to $16,000 depending on time and venue.

Mississippi Wedding Venues

The Cedars

The site at 4145 Old Canton Rd, Jackson is the oldest residential building in Jackson, with a history of 175 years. The courtyard in front of the house with trees such as cedar, oak, and magnolia provides a natural backdrop for weddings. The venue can accommodate up to 300 people and costs $3,500 for a two-day weekend rental.

Dunleith Historic Inn

A National Historic Landmark located at 84 Homochitto St, Natchez, the mansion features Greek Revival columns and original pine floors. The event space has a main floor, courtyard, and South Lawn, which can accommodate up to 700 people. Wedding packages start at $6,500, not including catering.

The Gin at Flora Station

The address is 4819 MS-22, Flora. The refurbished cotton gin blends rustic charm with modern amenities. It offers indoor and outdoor spaces, including a covered gazebo and a patio with an old-fashioned truck bar. Rentals for ceremonies and receptions start at $3,500.

Alabama Wedding Venues

B&A Warehouse

This building, located at 1531 1st Ave S, Birmingham, is historic from the outside. With its industrial-inspired design and high ceilings along with red brick walls. Three indoor venues can accommodate up to 300 guests, and the cost of a ceremony starts at $4,000.

The Sterling Castle

This castle is located at 389 Deseret Dr, Shelby, and has been voted the best wedding venue in Alabama. The fairytale-style castle, elegant ballroom, charming courtyard, and lakeside and drawbridge venues. This beautiful venue can accommodate up to 300 guests and all-inclusive weddings are priced at $10,000+.

Huntsville Museum of Art

This is an art museum located at 300 Church St SW, Huntsville. With unique indoor and outdoor spaces, the museum is a contemporary art gallery. Offering outdoor spaces with a rooftop terrace, and five indoor hospitality venues. The starting venue fee for a wedding reception in high season is $1,500.

Michigan Wedding Venues

Colony Club Detroit

Located at 2310 Park Ave, Detroit, this Georgian-style, historic venue features stunning architecture and gorgeous interiors. The hotel features a grand ballroom decorated with crystal chandeliers and intricate details. The ballroom can accommodate up to 350 guests and is priced between $12,000 and $15,000.

Castle Farms

This historic building, built in 1918, is located at 5052 M-66, Charlevoix. With a total of four site combinations in the summer. It offers several ceremony and reception spaces, including a charming outdoor garden and a majestic stone courtyard. The largest of these, the East Garden and Queen's Courtyard can host up to 300 guests. And the price range is between $6,750 and $9,250.

The Inn at Stonecliffe

This is a Victorian village located at 8593 Cudahy Cir, Mackinac Island. away from the hustle and bustle of the area. With beautiful gardens and breathtaking views of Lake Huron and the Mackinaw Bridge. Accommodates up to 300 people and prices range from $4000 to $10,000.

Ohio Wedding Venues

Franklin Park Conservatory

This is a horticultural and educational institution located at 1777 E Broad St, Columbus. The most popular venue is the indoor garden with an all-glass ceiling. Besides, there is an industrial-style venue and a 200-year-old barn. The venue has plenty of space and can accommodate up to 500 people, with prices ranging from $7,000 to $11,000 for a wedding of 100 guests.

The Columbus Athenaeum

The historic building at 32 N 4th St, Columbus, was built in 1899. With a total of ten venues to choose from, the Grand Ballroom boasts gorgeous details and a stunning atrium. It is decorated with classical Greek art as well as soaring ornate ceilings. It can accommodate up to 230 guests. Prices for receptions start at $3,000.

Gervasi Vineyard

An oversized wine estate located at 1700 55th St NE, Canton. Picturesque vineyard setting and sparkling lake views. The open-air venue can accommodate up to 300 people, while the indoor venue can accommodate up to 120 guests. Full-service event planning, vineyard tours, and wine tastings are available. Prices for receptions will start at $1,450.

Georgia Wedding Venues

Barnsley Resort

This resort is located at 597 Barnsley Gardens Rd NW, Adairsville. With over 3,000 acres of land, it is a historic southern estate. With lush gardens, luxurious cabins, and grounds that can accommodate up to 250 people. Three wedding packages are available: $275 per person, $320 per person, and $350 per person. And a least of 150 people is required.

Summerour Studio

This is a renovated warehouse located at 409 Bishop St NW, Atlanta. The roof is supported by massive bow trusses, which allow for a spacious, open floor plan without columns or supports. Through a wall of windows running the length of the space, there are breathtaking views of Atlantic Station and the downtown skyline. Accommodating up to 425 people, prices start at $4,000.

The Biltmore Ballrooms

The ballroom is located at 817 W Peachtree St NW 208, Atlanta, and was established in 1924. The ballroom features a handcrafted plaster relief ceiling, ornate crystal lighting, and a marble floor. Capacity ranges from 50 to 1,500 people and offers eleven caterers. Rental rates range from $3,500 to $5,000, depending on the day of the week.

Florida Wedding Venues

The Ancient Spanish Monastery

Located at 16711 W Dixie Hwy, North Miami Beach. This monastery was dismantled piece by piece from northern Spain and shipped to the United States, then rebuilt over 19 months. It offers a chapel and gardens for ceremonies. The garden can accommodate up to 300 guests for $6,500 and includes only the cost of the reception.

The Breakers Palm Beach

This is a luxury resort located at 1 S County Rd, Palm Beach. This luxury resort is located in Palm Beach and enjoys magnificent beachfront views, lush gardens, and an exquisite ballroom. It boasts a timeless and elegant ambiance. It can host weddings for a maximum of less than 500 people, and detailed prices need to be communicated with the hotel.

The Ringling Museum

The museum is located at 5401 Bay Shore Rd, Sarasota, with a breathtaking view of Sarasota Bay. This venue offers unique views of art, culture, and the stunning waterfront. It includes many event spaces, including a large courtyard and an elegant ballroom. The largest art gallery courtyard can accommodate up to 125 guests and prices start at $20,000.

New York Wedding Venues

Mohonk Mountain House

Located at 1000 Mountain Rest Rd, New Paltz, this historic resort is surrounded by 40,000 acres of pristine forest. Featuring a majestic Victorian castle with panoramic mountain views. Choose from lakeside, garden, and mountain views for your ceremony. Wedding packages range from $275 to $375 per person.

The Foundry

The address is 42-38 9th Street, Long Island City, with a history dating back to the 19th century. Offering an industrial chic atmosphere, a garden courtyard and conservatory, a stunning main space, plus rustic interiors. Accommodates up to 180 guests, with receptions starting at $14,000.

The Garrison

Estate at 2015 US-9, Garrison, with superb Hudson River views and Catskill Mountain views. The venue offers a modern ballroom, outdoor ceremony space, and golf course. The venue can accommodate up to 200 guests for $12,000.

Pennsylvania Wedding Venues

The Curtis Atrium

The historic building at 699 Walnut St, Philadelphia used to be the Curtis Publishing Company. It is now a building with a mix of residential, office, and retail space. It features a stunning atrium, marble columns, and a stunning rotunda. Space rentals start at $8,000.

The Cork Factory Hotel

This boutique hotel is located at 480 New Holland Ave 3000, Lancaster, a converted historic cork mill with exposed brick walls. Offering industrial charm and modern amenities. The venue has a ballroom, a terrace, and a 2,300-square-foot warehouse. Space is available for up to 200 guests, and wedding packages start at $7,000.

Terrain Gardens at Devon Yard

A stunning garden is located at 138 W Lancaster Ave Suite 130, Devon. The venue is decorated with elements such as reclaimed barn wood floors, raised holiday lights, and skylights to create a unique aesthetic. Of course, there is an essential gardening setting and open-air venue that can accommodate up to 140 guests. Prices for receptions start at $4,525.

West Virginia Wedding Venues

Stonewall Resort

The entire resort is nestled beside a tranquil lake at 940 Resort Drive Roanoke, a place of scenic beauty and rustic charm. Wedding venues are available on the lakeside lawn or in the courtyard, with an indoor grand hall and stone-walled ballroom. Spa services, golf courses, and entertainment can also be experienced with wedding packages ranging from $3,500 to $12,000.

The Greenbrier

A luxury resort located at 101 W Main St, White Sulphur Springs. With stunning architecture, beautiful gardens, and breathtaking mountain views. The indoor venue has a dramatic chandelier and stage. The outdoor grounds feature expansive lawns and rustic cabins. Packages start at $10,000 and vary depending on the number of guests, season, and customization.

Sleepy Hollow Golf Club

The Club at 3780 Sleepy Hollow Dr, Hurricane. It is a private golf club for families. Featuring a scenic golf course, elegant ballroom, outdoor lawn ceremony venue, and picturesque countryside views. Wedding packages start at $3,500.

Virginia Wedding Venues

Maymont

Historic Manor River Park at 1700 Hampton St, Richmond. Inside are gardens, botanical gardens, and native wildlife habitats. The scenic setting includes 100-year-old Italian gardens, European-style manor houses, pavilions, expansive lawns, and the Robbins Nature Center. Prices range from $3,500 to $6,100.

Inn At Willow Grove

This is a rustic accommodation located at 14079 Plantation Way, Orange. It is unusually peaceful and romantic, surrounded by ancient trees and beautiful gardens. One of the gardens, Boxwood, can accommodate up to 175 guests and offers idyllic views. A versatile barn is also available as a hospitality venue, with rates starting at $7,500.

The Tides Inn

Located at 480 King Carter Dr, Irvington, the entire hotel is situated on a beautiful body of water with views of the Chesapeake Bay. It is a waterfront resort. You can also come here to take part in fun activities such as tennis, golf, paddle boarding, biking, and kayaking. Weddings start at $3,100.

North Carolina Wedding Venues

The Bradford

Professional wedding venue located at 523 Pea Ridge Rd, New Hill. It resembles a European town building with charming gardens and rustic barns. It can accommodate up to 250 guests for a ceremony in the gardens. Wedding packages will vary depending on the time of year and are priced at $8,000 on Fridays and $9,800 on Saturdays.

The Merrimon-Wynne House

The mansion located at 500 N Blount St, Raleigh was built in 1876 and has been well maintained and is now a venue for various events. The building has a main floor full of Southern charm. Inside are original floors and mantelshelves, ornate chandeliers, and a wide porch. The outdoor area is also large enough to host ceremonies in the garden and can accommodate up to 250 guests. Prices for receptions start at $5,000.

Fearrington Village

It's an English-style country hotel located at 2000 Fearrington Village Center. Besides the quaint country setting there are dense gardens with water features. The largest venue is the barn, which offers spacious dining and dancing space and can accommodate up to 250 people guests. Prices for ceremonies start at $2500.

South Carolina Wedding Venues

Middleton Place

This National Historic Landmark is located at 4300 Ashley River Rd, Charleston. You can experience daily life on an 18th-century plantation and enjoy 65 acres of unobstructed views and private garden rooms. Also, enjoy the oldest landscaped gardens on the property. There are 7 ceremony venues, ranging from small weddings of 50 to 400 guests. Prices start at $5,000.

William Aiken House

The 1807 mansion is located at 456 King St, Charleston, a restored mansion that showcases Southern charm and architectural elegance. The yard features a magnolia tree that is over two hundred years old and an elegant terrace. It is also rated as one of South Carolina's premier wedding venues. The cost of a ceremony starts at $3,000.

The Cedar Room

Modern industrial event space at 701 E Bay St, Charleston. Featuring exposed brick walls, high ceilings, and large windows overlooking the cityscape. The indoor Cedar Room venue can accommodate up to 500 people for events, and the outdoor yard can seat up to 200. Events on Fridays or Sundays start at $3,500.

Vermont Wedding Venues

Inn at Mountain View Farm

The Inn at 3383 Darling Hill Rd, East Burke, has breathtaking mountaintop views. Enjoy mountain biking, cross-country skiing, and visits to animal farms, among many other activities. Venues can range from beautiful fields to cozy campfires. Weekend wedding packages start at $3,500.

Hildene - The Lincoln Family Home

The building at 1005 Hildene Rd, Manchester is full of meaning. The Lincolns built Hildene as a summer home at the turn of the 20th century. Here you can look out over the Taconic Mountains to the west and the Green Mountains to the east. The outdoor venue can accommodate up to 200 people and wedding reception prices start at $8,000.
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(Hildene - The Lincoln Family Home)

The Henry House

The historic house at 1338 Murphy Rd, North Bennington, built in 1769, is one of the oldest surviving houses in Vermont. Overlooks the authentic red-covered Henry Bridge. The site offers several vendors for you to consider. The large trees outside the house make for the best wedding photos. The venue needs to be contacted for a specific quote.

Massachusetts Wedding Venues

The Crane Estate

This is a Tudor Revival mansion located at 290 Argilla Rd, Ipswich. It was the summer home of Mr. and Mrs. Richard Taylor Crane, Jr. with winding salt marshes, miles of barrier beaches, and a beautiful hilltop mansion. And of course the rolling lawns and gardens. There are three sites to choose from in all, with the beachfront site accommodating 200 to 500 people. Weekend weddings are priced at $6500.

Red Lion Inn

The Inn at 30 Main St, Stockbridge has a 250-year history. The entire Inn combines traditional New England hospitality with the amenities of a modern hotel. The largest Hitchcock room capacity is capacity 30-175 people. Venue rentals start at $4,000.

Liberty Hotel

A sophisticated hotel located at 215 Charles St, Boston. Located in the heart of downtown, just steps from shopping, dining, Boston Parks, and more. The hotel offers a private secret garden that can accommodate up to 200 people outdoors and an indoor 3000-square-foot ballroom. Wedding venue rates start at $26,000 for up to 100 guests.

Connecticut Wedding Venues

The Lace Factory

This historic factory is located at 161 River St, Deep River, and offers a charming and rustic atmosphere for a wedding venue. It has wood floors, high ceilings, and large windows overlooking the river. The Lace Factory offers event planning services, on-site catering, and a variety of rental options for weddings of all sizes. The Factory can accommodate up to 225 people and prices start at $5,000.

Eolia Mansion at Harkness State

The address is 275 Great Neck Rd, Waterford. Nestled on the shoreline of Waterford, Connecticut, this elegant mansion offers breathtaking views of Long Island Sound. It has manicured gardens, a stone terrace, and a beautiful ballroom. The price of $5,100 includes exclusive use of the mansion's first floor and south courtyard tent for 5 hours.

The Society Room of Hartford

This event venue is located at 31 Pratt St, Hartford, and the historic venue boasts magnificent architecture. It includes a marble staircase, beautifully frescoed ceilings, and crystal chandeliers. It provides a luxurious and timeless setting for weddings. The venue can accommodate up to 300 guests and prices start at 15,000.

New Hampshire Wedding Venues

Wentworth By The Sea Country Club

Country Club at 60 Wentworth Rd, Rye. This private club is near the shore and enjoys magnificent waterfront views and a romantic atmosphere. The hotel has manicured grounds and a historic clubhouse. It can accommodate up to 250 guests in this setting. Three options are available: lawn, clubhouse, and tent weddings. Reception prices start at $30,000.

The Preserve at Chocorua

This venue, located at 88 Philbrick Neighborhood Rd, Tamworth, is a rustic and secluded wedding venue nestled in the White Mountains. It offers scenic views, a charming barn, and plenty of outdoor space for the ceremony. Outdoor activities such as sleigh rides and hiking are also available. Approximate prices will start at $1000.

Bishop Farm

The Farmhouse, located at 33 Bishop Cutoff, Lisbon, is a historic and beautifully landscaped site in the White Mountains. It offers a restored 1876 farmhouse, a barn, and lush greenery. There is also a romantic bistro with a terrace to relax in. Accommodating up to 200 guests, prices start at $15,000.

Rhode Island Wedding Venues

The Chanler at Cliff Walk

A luxury hotel located at 117 Memorial Blvd, Newport. The Chanler offers luxurious accommodations and a grand mansion setting with stunning views of the Atlantic Ocean and access to their world-class restaurant. Specializing in weddings for up to 120 guests with access to their world-class restaurant. Site rentals start at $10,000.

Blithewold Mansion, Gardens & Arboretum

Historic mansion on 33 acres located at 101 Ferry Rd, Bristol with breathtaking views of Narragansett Bay. Large tents are available in the outdoor area, followed by sunset views. Accommodating up to 225 guests, weekend wedding rates start at $12,995.

The Dorrance

Situated in the heart of Providence, The Dorrance is a restored bank building with a sophisticated atmosphere and elegant decor. The most special feature is the long, luxurious bar, which can accommodate up to 200 guests throughout the venue. Venue rentals start at $7,500.

New Jersey Wedding Venues

The Ashford Estate

Located at 637 Province Line Rd, Allentown, this elegant property is nestled in a picturesque setting. Surrounded by hundreds of acres of beautifully preserved farmland, it features sparkling fountains, waterfalls, garden pavilions, expansive views, and of course, luxurious private suites. The wedding venue can accommodate up to 300 guests. Starting at $10,000.

Mallard Island Yacht Club

A club surrounded by water at 1450 NJ-72, Manahawkin. six more venues to choose from in the luxurious private island mansion. The center plaza boasts grand arches and ornate ceilings reminiscent of old-world glamour. The ballroom can accommodate up to 250 people, and prices for receptions start at $20,000.

Liberty House Restaurant & Events

This waterfront event venue is located at 76 Audrey Zapp Dr, Jersey City. It features unparalleled views of the New York City skyline, Ellis Island, the Statue of Liberty, and the Liberty Landing Pier. The Grand Ballroom features a marble floor and floor-to-ceiling windows. The venue can accommodate up to 300 people and venue rental fees start at $8,000.

Delaware Wedding Venues

The Queen Wilmington

This dazzling venue is located at 500 N Market St, Wilmington is downtown. It is a historic music venue that offers a unique and eclectic atmosphere. The venue features a grand ballroom with a stage, state-of-the-art sound system, and elegant décor. The venue can accommodate up to 200 guests and wedding reception prices start from $3,000.

The Cordrey Center

The address is 30366 Cordrey Rd, Millsboro, and its restored barn and surrounding gardens provide a rustic and charming setting. The venue offers a range of services, including in-house catering, bar service, and event coordination. It has indoor and outdoor options and can accommodate up to 200 guests. Venue rental rates start at $3,500.

The Waterfall Catering and Special Events

With an address at 3416 Philadelphia Pike, Claymont, The Waterfall has a modern venue. Centered around a stunning indoor waterfall. The spacious ballroom features contemporary décor and customizable LED lighting systems. The venue can accommodate up to 500 guests. Prices for venue rentals start at $6,000.

Maryland Wedding Venues

Belvedere Hotel

Located at 1 East Chase Street and built-in 1902 as a historic landmark in Baltimore, The Belvedere showcases stunning architecture and classic charm. It offers a variety of event spaces, including a rooftop ballroom with panoramic views of the city. Inside, the décor is more vintage and ornate. Accommodating up to 500 guests, venue rentals start at $8,000.

Evergreen Museum & Library

This grand Gilded Age mansion is located at 4545 N Charles St, Baltimore. It is full of history with a house museum and research library. With beautiful gardens, this venue offers a mix of elegance and history. It's architectural details and scenic surroundings provide a unique backdrop. As well as a tour of the museum's collection. Accommodates up to 200 guests and starts at $6,000.

Chesapeake Bay Beach Club

Located at 500 Marina Club Rd, Stevensville, this venue offers stunning waterfront views and an elegant ballroom. It also has an oceanfront ceremony venue and luxurious accommodations. There are four ballrooms in total, three indoor and one outdoor. Accommodations for up to 300 guests start at $10,000.

District of Columbia Wedding Venues

Larz Anderson House

Located at 2118 Massachusetts Ave NW, Washington, the Anderson House, established in 1905, is a stunning Beaux-Arts mansion that offers a romantic and intimate setting for weddings. The venue features beautiful gardens, a grand staircase, and gorgeous rooms decorated with historic artwork. It can accommodate up to 200 guests and has access to the house's magnificent library. Prices start from $8,000.

The Hay-Adams

Located at 800 16th St NW, Washington, across from the White House, the hotel offers magnificent views of the iconic landmark. This venue has many event spaces, including a rooftop terrace from which the White House can be used as a photo backdrop. Wedding venues can accommodate up to 250 guests and prices start at $15,000.

National Museum of Women in the Arts

Located at 1250 New York Ave NW, Washington, this unique venue celebrates women artists and offers a distinctive setting for weddings. With its stunning architecture and world-class art collection, it provides an exquisite atmosphere for your special day. The venue offers a variety of event spaces, including an assembly hall and mezzanine level, and can accommodate up to 400 guests. However, the museum is temporarily closed for renovations.

Maine Wedding Venues

Hidden Pond

The resort's address is 354 Goose Rocks Rd, Kennebunkport, and is nestled in a secluded wooded area. Featuring elegant indoor and outdoor spaces. Surrounded by 60 acres of birch and balsam fir, it features two outdoor pools and a three-room treetop spa. It ensures an unforgettable wedding experience. Prices start from US$10,000.

Hardy Farm

The farm is located at 254 W Fryeburg Rd, Fryeburg. This rustic and chic site features a restored 18th-century farmhouse and a spacious barn with panoramic mountain views. Of course, there are also seasonal gardens and a woodland church. The most special feature is the provision of a cable car to reach the top of the mountain, which is also a popular backdrop for photos. It can accommodate up to 250 guests and prices start from $6,500.

Portland Regency Hotel & Spa

The address is 20 Milk St, Portland, and is centrally located, offering a blend of classic elegance and modern amenities. With many event spaces, on-site catering, and a spa, it can accommodate intimate and large weddings. Accommodations range from 10 to 220 guests, with rates starting at $3,500.

Conclusion

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." When Harry Met Sally
Finally, we've rounded up our recommendations for wedding venues in each of the remaining states. Choosing the perfect wedding venue is an important step in creating your dream wedding. It sets the tone for the entire celebration and provides the backdrop for your special day. No matter what style of wedding venue you prefer, there is a venue above that perfectly suits your style and preferences.
Last but not least, don't forget to check out Quictent's wedding tent. we offer quality wedding tents for your outdoor wedding, containing various types and sizes.

The Farmers have decisively named their Presidential nominee, Al Gore. Webb met his loss with magnanimity, smiling as he shook hands with his fellow Senator. In a short but sweet acceptance speech, Gore said, among other things, "I have my vision. It's comprehensive and sweeping. I've traveled to every part of this country during the last six years. And during my service in Congress, I have always taken the initiative. And I will take the initiative here in moving forward a whole range of initiatives that have proven to be important to our country's economic growth and environmental protection."
It's now time for the Vice Presidential nomination. It's time for the candidates to make their case...

Senator Mary Landrieu of Louisiana

Despite coming in third out of three in the Presidential nomination race, Landrieu still keeps in the race as a possible Vice Presidential nominee. She would be the first female Vice President in Confederate history if Gore wins the election (though some history buffs joke she would be the second, referencing First Lady Edith Wilson). Her moderate reputation is solid, and she could lock up the female vote. Plus, if Louisiana's vote in this election was ever in doubt, it wouldn't be going forward.
That's the thing, however. Louisiana, and the broader Deep South, are near-guaranteed to vote for the Farmers this election. There's also still the question of Landrieu's relative social conservatism, which could cause problems in the minority votes, not the least of which being the black vote. But then again, if not the Farmers, who would win the black vote?

Senator James Webb of Virginia

Although he couldn't clinch the nomination this time, some still think James Webb would make an excellent Vice President. Webb is certainly unique in that he's a Farmers Party Senator from the infamously conservative Virginia, and could lock down the Dominion State, which hasn't voted for a Farmers candidate in its history. He also brings a hard-hitting and straight-talking persona which might contrast well with Gore.
But as mentioned before, Webb walks a fine line between a fighter and a strongman. His previous Vice Presidency may also have him being seen as damaged goods. Even Webb himself seems less than enthusiastic about being the Vice Presidential nominee another time, despite his endorsement of Gore.

Governor Dexter King of Georgia

An unorthodox choice would be to choose the highly controversial, newly-minted Governor of Georgia, Dexter King. The son of the former revolutionary leader Martin Luther King Jr., who is infamous for his leadership role in the New Afrika Insurrection in the 60s, King ascended to the Governorship of his native Georgia in what was termed "The Savannah Miracle," becoming the Confederacy's first-ever black Governor, even amidst cries that King cheated somehow. King has many times over denounced his father's violent actions back in the 60s, and did attend and speak at the 50th anniversary of the Centennial Incident. He makes for a very "high risk, high reward" choice for the Vice Presidency, guaranteeing the black vote nationwide and possibly sealing the deal in Georgia, if the Farmers are lucky.
But, even looking past his controversial arrival to the office of Governor and his family, King has a few problems. First, and perhaps foremost, is that he's only just become Governor, and has held no prior political office. He was formerly the President of a non-profit, but his actions as President were suspect, slashing the staff to bare minimum at a bad time and having a falling-out with even his own family over the matter. And even looking past that, the disastrous 1994 election, the last time the Farmers ran a black Vice Presidential candidate, is still in the back of the Party's minds. Gore himself is even nervous about the prospect of having the controversial Governor on his ticket.

Fmr. Secretary of State for Internal Affairs Hodding Carter III of North Carolina

A Vice Presidential option that has a surprising amount of support is that of another former Carter cabinet member, alongside James Webb. Hodding Carter III (no relation to the former President Carter) has been President of a non-profit committed to the arts and journalism since 1998, but has reentered politics at the request of Webb. In general, Carter appeals to old Farmers who have since voted for the Populists and Dixiecrats, and they might come back to the fold with a former Carter cabinet member. He could also appeal to both Florida and North Carolina which, when put together with the expected Farmer victories in the Deep South, would make the election a slam dunk.
But Carter is an unexciting choice. For one thing, he's been out of politics for over 20 years now. And even if that weren't the case, he's getting rather long in the tooth at the age of 77. And if he can't help carry North Carolina or Florida, then he does little else. He's also not particularly interested in the Vice Presidency, having only put his name forward because an old friend, James Webb, asked him to.

John Wolfe Jr. of Tennessee

A relative unknown candidate from Tennessee, businessman (and perennial political candidate) John Wolfe Jr. could potentially appeal to the pro-business wing of the Farmers which, although few in number, are not exactly thrilled at Gore's nomination. His appeal is mostly on the economic front, pushing for the use of antitrust laws and having the national Treasury department sponsor an "alternate" Treasury Reserve to loan out money to small businesses and individuals, arguing that the current system only benefits the major banks. He enjoys a small but noticeable degree of popularity in Missouri and Louisiana as well, and if Missouri can be turned green, that would be a large win.
But Wolfe would have the Farmers putting all their eggs in the Tennessee basket, and there's not much reason to do so. Wolfe is also well to the left of Party orthodoxy, going so far as to push for national government-sponsored single-payer healthcare, the constitutionality of which is... debatable at the very best. Wolfe and Gore are also rumored to really dislike each-other, and it's imperative that the Farmers put forward a united front to win.
The options have been presented, the candidates have made their speeches, who will Al Gore be campaigning with this election season?
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Lionsgate Films! Here are options for downloading or watching Sisu streaming the full movie online for free on 123movies & Reddit, including where to watch the historical action film at home. Is Sisu 2023 available to stream? Is watching Sisu on HBO Max, Netflix, Disney Plus or Amazon Prime? Yes, we have found an authentic streaming option/service.
Watch Now🔴✅: Sisu 2023 Full Movie Online Free
Watch Now🔴✅: Sisu 2023 Full Movie Online Free
The filmmaking industry is still enjoying an action film renaissance, and that’s set to continue with the latest film from director Jalmari Helander, Sisu (2023). Fans of the action genre have understandably been most talkative about the latest entry in the current fan-favorite franchise, John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023), which is all but guaranteed to be one of the year’s biggest blockbusters. It’s certainly one of 2023’s most anticipated films, but inevitably, action junkies will be patient for the next installment once the film premieres later this March. Thankfully, perhaps foreseeing the itch for some more entertaining action films, Lionsgate is set to release another film that looks quite “Wickian” in nature.
Sisu takes audiences to World War II-era Finland, where a seemingly average elderly prospector by the name of Aatami Korpi (Jorma Tommila) stumbles upon an absolutely massive repository of gold. Now he has to travel over five hundred miles to deliver the gold to the nearest bank but hits a significant speed bump when he encounters a band of greedy Nazi soldiers. Armed with his trusty dog, a pickaxe, and a whole lot of guns, Korpi will have to fight his way to the far-off town and dig up some painful wounds from a past life.
Jalmari Helander’s action-packed extravaganza already made a big splash in 2022 following a premiere at the Toronto International Film Festival, and now it’s set to get a wider theatrical release fairly soon. To learn all about the new film’s trailer, cast, and release date, here is everything we know so far about Sisu.
When and Where Is Sisu Releasing?
Aatami Korpi’s rampage against the dying Third Reich officially begins when Sisu arrives in theaters on Friday, April 28, 2023. Sisu is currently set to enter theaters across the U.S. only a month after the premiere of John Wick: Chapter 4, ensuring that action fans will have plenty to feast on in 2023. No plans for a streaming or VOD release have yet been made known by Lionsgate at this time.
Will Sisu Be on Streaming?
The newly rebranded Max will almost certainly be the streaming home for the film once its theatrical run ends. The streaming service has become a hotspot for horror content with The Last of Us becoming a darling among fans and critics, so if you haven’t jumped on the HBO Max bandwagon yet, there are both ad and ad-free subscription plans available.
When Will Sisu Be Available to Stream Online?
Nope, Sisu is a cinema exclusive for now. We’re sure it will make its way to streaming services and digital platforms in the near future, but it’s a scary trip to the multiplex for now.

Last week's post https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13ubbfv/roundup_bats_bugs_and_ufos_reported_on_here_in/ held as of 5:12 pm released at 7:41 pm eastern https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13ubdrc/roundup_ufos_and_potentially_related_things/
.1 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13ucs3i/ultra_colorful_light_ball_flys_in_the_night_sky/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, multicolored 🌈, observed moving, color change observed, flew overhead, first observed red with a white center, As it flew it started changing colors .
.2 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13uc5jk/may_27_2023_1239am_1246am_central_texas/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, fleet, following one after the other, 9 objects observed, orange 🟠, central Texas , fire lanterns
.3 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13ua44u/multiple_ufos_moving_slowly_across_the_sky/ video, daytime sky, fleet, one with pulsating lights, Chicago Illinois, urban area, bird for comparison, moving slowly
.4 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13uw9xo/what_is_this_in_the_sky/ video, nighttime sky, hard to see
.5 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13uvzb0/remember_the_ufo_over_ohare_in_2006_i_do_and_i/ sighting description, Chicago O'Hare incident, daytime cloudy sky, single object stationary duration 40 minutes, over airport, sudden departure upward
.6 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13uh4fm/south_shore_long_island_52823/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, single light object moving fast, contemporaneous report, South shore long Island New York state, similar sightings in comments , flew over the witness home
.7 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13uir4j/drone_pic_caught_tonight_may_28th/ photo, nighttime sky, from drone, fourlights, contemporaneous report, similar sighting in comments, Cumming Georgia
.8 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13unyx1/sphere_over_my_garden_only_visible_with_thermal/ video, nighttime, single light object, from infrared, not visible to eye, low over backyard, Cologne Germany 🇩🇪
.9 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13uwo25/seen_over_naperville_il_52823_10pm/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, Naperville Illinois, silent , single light object, multicolored 🌈, observed moving fast, sudden acceleration
.10 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13v36gv/fort_myers_florida_52623/ video from live image, daytime cloudy sky, fort Meyers Florida, single dark object moving fast downward, batman balloon type
.11 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13ujn1k/ufo_or_satellite/ sighting description, nighttime, single light object moving fast, trajectory change observed, curved to the left, multicolored, Puerto Vallarta Mexico 🇲🇽
.12 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13uvohu/plasma_ball_shoots_away_from_me_when_trying_to/ video, nighttime sky, from telescope, single light object, possible reaction to being filmed, vanishing, two witnesses
.13 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13umkqu/three_years_ago_i_had_a_dream_about_a/ dream description, information, Had a dream, in which I was on board a ufo and was taught about an alien society. They valued happiness, self-actualization, and belonging. They understood the existence of thoughtforms and embraced temporary identities. Their economy focused on equality, less waste, and innovation. They had an AI-operated bank and emphasized education and direct democracy
.14 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13td1at/the_exact_spot_where_the_girls_spotted_the_alien/ original research, varginha incident, photo of location
.15 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13utjka/followed_weird_light_that_jumped_over_anothe video, nighttime sky, moving stars, north Florida, contemporaneous report, similar sighting in comments, it would move rapidly, stop, backtrack and then go forward again all at varying speeds and there was no sound at all., silent
.16 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13uy3g7/mantis_phobia/ childhood experience description, entity, mantis type, emotion of fear
.17 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/13uh7g1/spotted_above_columbus_oh_today_still_hovering/ photo, daytime cloudy sky, single dark object, observed stationary, Columbus Ohio https://old.reddit.com/Columbus/comments/13ty4an/power_outage/ possible electronic effects power outage
.18 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13v97pu/visited_the_site_of_the_rendlesham_incident_today/ photos, site of the rendlesham forest incident, art 🎨, sculpture, daytime
.19 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13vwqjs/my_girlfriend_just_sent_me_this_is_it_a_drone_a/ video, daytime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, single light object, tictac, low over rooftop, Umbria Italy 🇮🇹, "Airplane"
.20 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13vbo2g/legit_curious_are_there_other_experiencers_on/ discussion of close events, sighting description and drawing, family story, Texas, nighttime, low over rooftops, flying saucer, three objects, three witnesses, [GOODPOST], possible reaction to being observed, trajectory change, similar sightings in comments
.21 https://old.reddit.com/Cleveland/comments/13uvy4e/two_f16_fly_by_west_cleveland/jm4pdu9/ sighting description, cylinder, Cleveland Ohio, possible military response, jets https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13vaa33/f16_flybys_near_cleveland_on_memorial_day/ description, airplane anomaly , unusual flight path signs and appearance
.22 https://old.reddit.com/StLouis/comments/13vook6/anyone_else_see_some_weird_shapes_in_the_sky/ photos, daytime cloudy sky, st Louis Missouri, contemporaneous report, single dark object, irregular blocky shape, angular, stationary, urban area, three objects, possible partially cloaked triangle
.23 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13vz1mo/possible_ufo_sighting_in_west_nashville/ video, daytime cloudy sky, tubulapill shaped metallic object, tictac, silent, plane for comparison, very bright , Nashville Tennessee , downvoted to zero, OP comments downvoted, ignoring OP data, big debunker energy
.24 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13vc0cl/happening_right_now_in_buga_columbia_755pm/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, happening at time of posting, buga Colombia 🇨🇴 , single light object, zigzag movements observed, up and down, flareup observed
.25 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13vcezf/strange_drones_before_drones_were_a_thing_in_the/ sighting description, three witnesses, three objects, nighttime, fleet, grid pattern trajectory., repeat three times, approach, flew overhead, wasp 🐝 shape , stationary, sudden departure,
.26 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13uul0m/4chan_gov_ufo_whistleblower_video_i_made_using_a/ video recreation of sighting description, underwater UFOs
.27 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13vdn76/starlink/ photo, nighttime cloudy sky, fleet observed, blue 🔵, following one after the other, Miami Florida, contemporaneous report, two witnesses
.28 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13vx1ma/the_four_major_categories_of_ufos_reported_in_the/ image, ufo shapes by decade
.29 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13vkwz5/i_saw_multiple_lights_dancing_in_the_sky_last/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, fleet, moving stars, dancing, up and down and left to right, single object flashing
.30 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13vzh5u/orb_sighting_over_norther_arizona/ video, daytime cloudy sky, from airplane, over northern Arizona, duration 20-30 seconds, single dark object, black ⚫️ dot observed , lighting configuration change observed, began to glow and shimmer , interaction with clouds, cut a channel and illuminated
.31 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13vraeh/are_ufouap_sightings_increasing_or_am_i_just/ discussion of sighting frequency
.32 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13vudz1/i_need_to_get_this_sleep_paralysis_episode_off_my/ experience description, sleep paralysis, information transfer
.33 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13vx3du/saw_a_shape_burned_into_my_eyes_after_meditating/ experience description, crop circle, hexagonal shape
.34 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/13uuioy/2_flashing_ufos_caught_on_cam_in_broad_daylight/ video, hard to see, daytime sky, twolights observed, flashing, oldham England the UK 🇬🇧, very bright
.35 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13w48i0/moving_56_objects/ sighting description, moving stars, two witnesses
.36 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13w6q2q/my_younger_brother_saw_this_flying_through_the/ photos, daytime sky, single light object, tictac, downvoted to zero, contemporaneous report, Middlesex County Massachusetts, OP comments downvoted
.37 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13w8np3/same_object_different_video_to_corroborate/ video, nighttime sky, single light object moving fast, similar sighting to number.6 above., coastal Maine, downvoted to zero, OP comments downvoted
.38 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13woova/bright_orange_fiery_lights_in_the_sky_turned_into/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, three witnesses, single light object appearing and vanishing, orange 🟠, Oregon, mothership also observed, described as a huge ship covered in bright orange lights and i mean covered. it was like the movies., my brother said it opened up like a mouth, but like an accordion. he said it closed after that and it vanished.
.39 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13wvq41/ufo_sighting/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, moving star, observed vanishing and reappearing, two witnesses, fleet observed, diverse trajectories
.40 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13wpbhl/ufo_spotted_in_albuquerque_new_mexico_early/ sighting description and map, contemporaneous report, Albuquerque new Mexico, has anyone seen?,nighttime, two witnesses, from car, flying saucer, very bright, yellow lights 🟡, low to the ground , emotion of fear, duration 30-40 seconds
.41 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13weffz/i_caught_a_ufo_above_the_tree_line_right_before/ video and still image, hard to see, daytime cloudy sky, single dark object , from dashcam, Olympia Washington
.42 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13wpjjy/those_who_have_seen_ufos_did_you_have_this_same/ sighting descriptions, two flying disks that were silver, and silver sphere hovering over a military base, discussion of thoughts, possible telepathy, "tell no one, nobody will believe you.", similar experiences in comments, [GOODPOST]
.43 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13x1akm/my_sister_saw_this_on_her_way_home_in_normal/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, twolights, diffuse, buzzing noise, sudden departure
.44 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13wgv5t/white_orb_may_13_2022_video_analysis_digital/ video, nighttime sky, single light object
.45 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13v3cj2/took_this_in_december_2020/ photo, daytime cloudy sky, two objects, single light object, single dark object elongated, possible cigar or disk shape
.46 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13uxpa9/close_encounter_3rd_type_alien_witnessed/ experience description, entity, Ballarat Victoria Australia 🇦🇺, dark humanoid figure, possible reaction to being observed, vanishing, then the object it was standing on had a single orange light turn on, it raised slowly in a side to side motion turned vertical and then flew off faster than anything I’ve ever seen in my life, sudden departure , nighttime, contemporaneous report
.47 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13vaxw3/what_is_this/ photos, nighttime sky, single light object, vanishing, low over rooftop, duration 10 minutes, red 🔴
.48 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/13wgi7a/amazing_shapeshifting_ufo_video_i_captured/ video, shape change observed, Cincinnati Ohio
.49 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/13wgcrv/2_uaps_escorted_by_2_fighter_jets_israel/ video, hard to see, daytime sky, UAP and jets, possible military response, Israel 🇮🇱
.47 https://old.reddit.com/space/comments/13wxi24/nasa_group_studying_ufos_stresses_need_for_bette CBS News getting downvoted on the space sub for posting about the nasa UAP panel 🙃
.48 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13wc4r0/another_one_for_your_consideration/jmeu5lh/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, new jersey, nighttime, emotion of fear, fleet and mothership, close, rectangular
.49 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13xnod4/sighting_53023/ video, nighttime sky, threelights, starlink
.50 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13xoxn1/a_weird_set_of_lights_i_saw_tonight_above_new/ video, nighttime sky, two witnesses, plasma stuff, blue 🔵 and white, elongated, stationary, shimmering, lighting configuration change, new Delhi India 🇮🇳, contemporaneous report , silent, observed duration 10 minutes , low over rooftops, [GOODPOST]
.51 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13xl795/this_video_was_taken_by_a_good_friend_of_mine_on/ video, daytime cloudy sky, from airplane, from Denver Colorado to el paso Texas, western USA, single light object, possible disk shape,possible reaction to being observed, sudden departure
.52 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13xsywv/bizarre_experience/ experience description, location anomaly, unfamiliar surroundings, from car, emotion of fear and unease, duration 5 minutes
.53 https://old.reddit.com/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/13xvgrx/what_did_i_see_as_a_child/ childhood sighting description, bedroom, nighttime, entity, humanoid figure, blue lightning 🔵
.54 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/13wthum/eerie_radio_transmission_interrupting_regula audio anomaly, radio, it was almost like what the 1980s would expect a robot to sound like if it communicated in bleeps. There was no static. The “bleeps” were clear and included pauses. It continued for about 15 seconds
.55 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13xu1o0/not_sure_what_this_is_call_for_help/ photos, evening cloudy sky, over water, Atlantic ocean, kitty hawk north Carolina, rectangular shape
.56 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13y4t9c/lightsorbs_over_my_home_in_merced_county/ video, nighttime sky, Merced County California, contemporaneous report , fleet observed, witness went outside, two groups, V formation, two witnesses, duration 10 minutes All together there had to be like 12-15 and there was always one slightly larger one in the back of the v formation., triangle, threelights , silent, emotion of fear, spooked, orange 🟠, animal reaction dogs barking, went nuts, objects did not seem hostile, just passing through, [GOODPOST]
.57 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13y9yp8/i_think_i_saw_a_ufouap/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, single object, two witnesses, daytime, Michigan, shaped like a cylinder or flat in some way., haze around it, electronic effects did not show up in photos, emotional reaction awe, it was awesome
.58 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13xyfnh/6123_santa_ana_ca_522pm_zig_zagge video, daytime sky, contemporaneous report, santa Ana California, zigzag movements, single dark object, repeat visitor
.59 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13y1zxm/does_anyone_know_anyone_whos_seen_an_alien_or_ufo/ discussion of sightings
.60 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13y979c/color_changing_orbs_house_vibrating_morse_code/ sighting description, nighttime, two witnesses, fleet, low below treeline, multicolored, changing colors from reds to blues to greens 🔴🔵🟢, green flash, passed the window, multiple passes, physical effects vibration, pulsating, Morse code "hello, hello, hello" over and over for another 10 mins
.61 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13yar5q/abduction/ experience description, possible abduction, onset of fatigue, anomaly inside home, moving blur, sensation of floating, family history, brother experienced the same, event amnesia, This then unlocked other dreams that I had from when I was much younger that I have still yet to process, repeat visitors
.62 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/13y5evm/i_saw_a_ufo_in_australia_in_the_1980s_ama_i_guess/ sighting description, Australia 🇦🇺 , three witnesses, silent, close, observed moving and stationary, sudden departure, golden, oval, pulsating, physical effects paralysis
.63 https://old.reddit.com/space/comments/13yiyt4/which_planets_are_this/ nighttime, single light object https://old.reddit.com/space/comments/13yg1lq/what_is_this/ more pictures https://old.reddit.com/astrophotography/comments/13xyc5w/venus_approaching_half_phase/ reference image of venus at half phase, contemporaneous report
.64 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13yhkgv/very_strange_phone_experience_with_reddit_app/ experience description, eyes 👀 looking back
.65 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13y2j94/i_had_seen_2_big_circular_crafts_above_the_clouds/ sighting description, lights above the clouds, diffuse, circular, twolights, storm, nighttime cloudy sky, Tucson Arizona
.66 https://old.reddit.com/CLOUDS/comments/13y23vi/weird_line_in_clouds_no_idea_what_is_going_on/ photo, daytime cloudy sky, cloud anomaly, horizontal line, separation , possible blue light in clouds
.67 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13xxdav/i_saw_aliens_today/ experience description, entity, contemporaneous report, daytime, information transfer, they needed help
.68 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13ykdho/tic_tac_ufo/ video, daytime sky, single light object moving, tictac, silent, possible splitting or jumpy movement at the end of the video
.69 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13yj9t1/for_your_consideration_june_1st_2023/ video, daytime sky, Ohio, duration 20 seconds, cubensphere, boxy orb,
.70 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13yr2ud/could_someone_help_make_sense_of_these_pics_taken/ photo, nighttime sky, possible disk, "long exposure of airplane", no craft visible to witness, Southeast England the UK 🇬🇧
.71 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13xzz05/semi_edited_video_of_the_one_i_posted_on_here/ video followup to previous post, nighttime sky, single light object, Decatur Alabama, vanishing
.72 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13yk4yp/odd_lights_in_the_sky/ video, daytime sky, Glendale Arizona, two witnesses, duration 30 seconds, fleet, flashing, [GOODPOST]
.73 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13y5mvg/strange_light_moving_slowly_in_the_sky_ove video, nighttime sky, single light object, observed moving erratically, multicolored 🌈, Queensland Australia, duration 20 minutes, Moving slowly up and down and seemingly from side to side at times
.74 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13ysp3v/orange_orbes_over_naarden_the_netherlands/ video, nighttime sky, twolights, orange 🟠, naarden the Netherlands 🇳🇱 , urban area, nice long 4 minute video, vanishing and reappearing , contemporaneous report, [GOODPOST]
.75 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/13ytkzq/strange_pink_jellylike_substance_from_the_sky/ experience description and photo, pink jelly falling from sky, transparent, reddish
.76 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13ys1ug/my_friend_sent_me_this/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, multicolored, blue, purple, red, white and green 🔵🟣🔴⚪️🟢, contemporaneous report, happening at time of posting
.77 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13yvvmp/tumbling_uap_vancouver_april_30th_2023/ video, daytime cloudy sky, Vancouver Canada 🇨🇦, single dark object moving straight, tumbling, similar sightings in comments
.78 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13yxk6b/what_is_that_a_satellite_top_left_it_was_moving/ photos, nighttime sky, single light object moving, contemporaneous report, urban area, near Washington DC, physical effects it felt like a magnet pushing the phone away
.79 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13yz1yz/waking_dream_vision/ experience description, dream or vision, entities, blue 🔵, physical effects felt grabbed on left arm, information transfer, He said to me, "As I have grabbed your arm, someone has grabbed mine" and then let me go
.80 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13yepi7/pan/ experience description, entity, the god Pan
.81 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13zihv5/an_honest_question/jmrvkd6/?context=3 childhood sighting description, upper Peninsula Michigan, two witnesses, nighttime, dim circle of lights, physical effects paralysis
.82 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13zn6jc/portal_thingy/ photo, daytime cloudy sky, single object blackwhite, shield 🛡 shaped, Temescal Valley California
.83 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13zpvp6/my_ufo_sightinghas_anyone_ever_seen_fibonacci/ detailed sighting description, nighttime, camping, Galeton Pennsylvania, Suddenly I noticed when I looked into the sky that the entire sky - I mean every inch of night - was a swirling mass of interlocking Fibonacci spirals., two witnesses, additional objects observed moving and stationary, they stopped, flashed back and forth in strange blue and purplish light as if talking to each other, and then simultaneously shot straight up into the air, side by side, and vanished.🔵🟣, sudden departure upward, [GOODPOST], luring, splitting,emotional reaction anxiety, sleep disruption
.84 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13yz5m3/the_phenomena_of_things_flying_off_the_shelf/ discussion of things flying off a shelf.
.85 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/13zl7d7/uap_in_pic_zoom_in/ photo, daytime cloudy sky, Nevada, single object, blackwhite, possible pyramid
.86 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13zsj7q/seen_in_boston_ma_62/ video, nighttime sky, from home security camera, contemporaneous report, Boston Massachusetts, urban area, fleet, "birds", downvoted to zero, OP comments downvoted, deleted
.87 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/13zv038/light_at_night/ sighting description, single light object moving fast downward, entering the earth, contemporaneous report, thuringia nordhausen Germany 🇩🇪 ,nighttime , duration 4 seconds, blue 🔵, silent
.88 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13zw86p/can_anyone_explain_these/ video, nighttime sky, st Petersburg Florida, single light object moving erratically, similar sightings in comments, downvoted to zero, OP comments downvoted
.89 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13zy7d5/ufo_drone_stationary_plane/ sighting, possible drone, very bright, observed moving and stationary, silent
.90 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/140c1th/the_mysterious_event_that_my_father_witnessed_a/ sighting description, family story, earthquake, purple smoke cloud, diffuse, 🟣, electronic effects radio interference, jellyfish, entities, shape change observed, flying saucer, red lights 🔴, rotating, sudden departure upward, duration 5-10 minutes, nighttime, Izmet Turkey 🇹🇷, similar sighting in comments
.91 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1409rk4/looked_like_a_satellite_but_it_disappeared_quickly/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, single light object moving, observed vanishing, Melbourne Australia 🇦🇺, Chinese space station (TIANHE-1).
.92 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1403t51/a_couple_days_ago_i_heard_a_weird_almost_hovering/ audio description, wawawawawa sound, over the witness home, nighttime, two witnesses, ongoing activity, entity, animal reaction dog noticed it, contemporaneous report, similar audio experience in comments
.93 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13zw6sv/got_a_few_ring_notifications_and_this_is_what_i/ video, from home security camera, inside home, single light object moving , Tennessee https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13zza39/update_2_got_a_few_ring_notifications_and_this_is/ more video https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13zxfd0/update_got_a_few_ring_notifications_and_this_is/ more video
.94 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/140bmuo/ufo_sighting_when_i_was_younger_wonder_if_anyone/ sighting description and reference image, triangle, Red lights 🔴, has anyone seen?, similar sightings in comments, perception discrepancy other witness didn't see it , nighttime, from car, pacing car
.95 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/140gfkp/2008_october_6/ sighting description, dawn, fleet, dancing, moving erratically, approach or flareup, urban area, two witnesses, duration 20 minutes
.96 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/140d2pd/source_of_high_pitchfrequency_sound/ audio description, high pitched sound
.97 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13zz6dz/unidentified_lightning_fast_creature/ video, nighttime sky, from home security camera, entity
.98 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13zukt3/are_aliens_real/ experience description, entity , aftereffects drawing shapes, and illness
.99 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/140i2ob/help_id_drone_or_something_else/ photos, nighttime sky, single object, Scottish Highlands on the North Sea Scotland, repeat visitor, possible military response jets, "lens flare"
.100 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/13ytjc6/strange_phone_calls_what_is_this_thing_that/ audio anomaly, strange noise, phone call, repeat visitor
.101 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/140jvta/can_someone_please_describe_what_the_orange_orbs/ childhood sighting description, nighttime, single light object, orange 🟠, flareup, splitting into threelights, moving horizontally and descending down, very bright, darkness bright as day, multiple witnesses, made the news, "comet", similar sighting in comments , downvoted to zero
.102 https://old.reddit.com/CLOUDS/comments/140jt9i/storm_clouds_after_dusk_do_you_see_the_squiggles/ photo, nighttime cloudy sky, anomalous lightning, possible blue light in clouds, storm , Colorado
.103 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/140n3f6/just_heard_a_boom_that_shook_the_house_a_few/ audio description, loud boom, contemporaneous report, physical effects house shook

Last week's post https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13ubbfv/roundup_bats_bugs_and_ufos_reported_on_here_in/ held as of 5:12 pm released at 7:41 pm eastern https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13ubdrc/roundup_ufos_and_potentially_related_things/
.1 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13ucs3i/ultra_colorful_light_ball_flys_in_the_night_sky/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, multicolored 🌈, observed moving, color change observed, flew overhead, first observed red with a white center, As it flew it started changing colors .
.2 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13uc5jk/may_27_2023_1239am_1246am_central_texas/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, fleet, following one after the other, 9 objects observed, orange 🟠, central Texas , fire lanterns
.3 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13ua44u/multiple_ufos_moving_slowly_across_the_sky/ video, daytime sky, fleet, one with pulsating lights, Chicago Illinois, urban area, bird for comparison, moving slowly
.4 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13uw9xo/what_is_this_in_the_sky/ video, nighttime sky, hard to see
.5 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13uvzb0/remember_the_ufo_over_ohare_in_2006_i_do_and_i/ sighting description, Chicago O'Hare incident, daytime cloudy sky, single object stationary duration 40 minutes, over airport, sudden departure upward
.6 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13uh4fm/south_shore_long_island_52823/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, single light object moving fast, contemporaneous report, South shore long Island New York state, similar sightings in comments , flew over the witness home
.7 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13uir4j/drone_pic_caught_tonight_may_28th/ photo, nighttime sky, from drone, fourlights, contemporaneous report, similar sighting in comments, Cumming Georgia
.8 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13unyx1/sphere_over_my_garden_only_visible_with_thermal/ video, nighttime, single light object, from infrared, not visible to eye, low over backyard, Cologne Germany 🇩🇪
.9 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13uwo25/seen_over_naperville_il_52823_10pm/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, Naperville Illinois, silent , single light object, multicolored 🌈, observed moving fast, sudden acceleration
.10 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13v36gv/fort_myers_florida_52623/ video from live image, daytime cloudy sky, fort Meyers Florida, single dark object moving fast downward, batman balloon type
.11 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13ujn1k/ufo_or_satellite/ sighting description, nighttime, single light object moving fast, trajectory change observed, curved to the left, multicolored, Puerto Vallarta Mexico 🇲🇽
.12 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13uvohu/plasma_ball_shoots_away_from_me_when_trying_to/ video, nighttime sky, from telescope, single light object, possible reaction to being filmed, vanishing, two witnesses
.13 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13umkqu/three_years_ago_i_had_a_dream_about_a/ dream description, information, Had a dream, in which I was on board a ufo and was taught about an alien society. They valued happiness, self-actualization, and belonging. They understood the existence of thoughtforms and embraced temporary identities. Their economy focused on equality, less waste, and innovation. They had an AI-operated bank and emphasized education and direct democracy
.14 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13td1at/the_exact_spot_where_the_girls_spotted_the_alien/ original research, varginha incident, photo of location
.15 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13utjka/followed_weird_light_that_jumped_over_anothe video, nighttime sky, moving stars, north Florida, contemporaneous report, similar sighting in comments, it would move rapidly, stop, backtrack and then go forward again all at varying speeds and there was no sound at all., silent
.16 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13uy3g7/mantis_phobia/ childhood experience description, entity, mantis type, emotion of fear
.17 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/13uh7g1/spotted_above_columbus_oh_today_still_hovering/ photo, daytime cloudy sky, single dark object, observed stationary, Columbus Ohio https://old.reddit.com/Columbus/comments/13ty4an/power_outage/ possible electronic effects power outage
.18 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13v97pu/visited_the_site_of_the_rendlesham_incident_today/ photos, site of the rendlesham forest incident, art 🎨, sculpture, daytime
.19 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13vwqjs/my_girlfriend_just_sent_me_this_is_it_a_drone_a/ video, daytime cloudy sky, contemporaneous report, single light object, tictac, low over rooftop, Umbria Italy 🇮🇹, "Airplane"
.20 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13vbo2g/legit_curious_are_there_other_experiencers_on/ discussion of close events, sighting description and drawing, family story, Texas, nighttime, low over rooftops, flying saucer, three objects, three witnesses, [GOODPOST], possible reaction to being observed, trajectory change, similar sightings in comments
.21 https://old.reddit.com/Cleveland/comments/13uvy4e/two_f16_fly_by_west_cleveland/jm4pdu9/ sighting description, cylinder, Cleveland Ohio, possible military response, jets https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13vaa33/f16_flybys_near_cleveland_on_memorial_day/ description, airplane anomaly , unusual flight path signs and appearance
.22 https://old.reddit.com/StLouis/comments/13vook6/anyone_else_see_some_weird_shapes_in_the_sky/ photos, daytime cloudy sky, st Louis Missouri, contemporaneous report, single dark object, irregular blocky shape, angular, stationary, urban area, three objects, possible partially cloaked triangle
.23 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13vz1mo/possible_ufo_sighting_in_west_nashville/ video, daytime cloudy sky, tubulapill shaped metallic object, tictac, silent, plane for comparison, very bright , Nashville Tennessee , downvoted to zero, OP comments downvoted, ignoring OP data, big debunker energy
.24 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13vc0cl/happening_right_now_in_buga_columbia_755pm/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, happening at time of posting, buga Colombia 🇨🇴 , single light object, zigzag movements observed, up and down, flareup observed
.25 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13vcezf/strange_drones_before_drones_were_a_thing_in_the/ sighting description, three witnesses, three objects, nighttime, fleet, grid pattern trajectory., repeat three times, approach, flew overhead, wasp 🐝 shape , stationary, sudden departure,
.26 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13uul0m/4chan_gov_ufo_whistleblower_video_i_made_using_a/ video recreation of sighting description, underwater UFOs
.27 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13vdn76/starlink/ photo, nighttime cloudy sky, fleet observed, blue 🔵, following one after the other, Miami Florida, contemporaneous report, two witnesses
.28 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13vx1ma/the_four_major_categories_of_ufos_reported_in_the/ image, ufo shapes by decade
.29 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13vkwz5/i_saw_multiple_lights_dancing_in_the_sky_last/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, fleet, moving stars, dancing, up and down and left to right, single object flashing
.30 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13vzh5u/orb_sighting_over_norther_arizona/ video, daytime cloudy sky, from airplane, over northern Arizona, duration 20-30 seconds, single dark object, black ⚫️ dot observed , lighting configuration change observed, began to glow and shimmer , interaction with clouds, cut a channel and illuminated
.31 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13vraeh/are_ufouap_sightings_increasing_or_am_i_just/ discussion of sighting frequency
.32 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13vudz1/i_need_to_get_this_sleep_paralysis_episode_off_my/ experience description, sleep paralysis, information transfer
.33 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13vx3du/saw_a_shape_burned_into_my_eyes_after_meditating/ experience description, crop circle, hexagonal shape
.34 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/13uuioy/2_flashing_ufos_caught_on_cam_in_broad_daylight/ video, hard to see, daytime sky, twolights observed, flashing, oldham England the UK 🇬🇧, very bright
.35 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13w48i0/moving_56_objects/ sighting description, moving stars, two witnesses
.36 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13w6q2q/my_younger_brother_saw_this_flying_through_the/ photos, daytime sky, single light object, tictac, downvoted to zero, contemporaneous report, Middlesex County Massachusetts, OP comments downvoted
.37 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13w8np3/same_object_different_video_to_corroborate/ video, nighttime sky, single light object moving fast, similar sighting to number.6 above., coastal Maine, downvoted to zero, OP comments downvoted
.38 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13woova/bright_orange_fiery_lights_in_the_sky_turned_into/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, three witnesses, single light object appearing and vanishing, orange 🟠, Oregon, mothership also observed, described as a huge ship covered in bright orange lights and i mean covered. it was like the movies., my brother said it opened up like a mouth, but like an accordion. he said it closed after that and it vanished.
.39 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13wvq41/ufo_sighting/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, moving star, observed vanishing and reappearing, two witnesses, fleet observed, diverse trajectories
.40 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13wpbhl/ufo_spotted_in_albuquerque_new_mexico_early/ sighting description and map, contemporaneous report, Albuquerque new Mexico, has anyone seen?,nighttime, two witnesses, from car, flying saucer, very bright, yellow lights 🟡, low to the ground , emotion of fear, duration 30-40 seconds
.41 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13weffz/i_caught_a_ufo_above_the_tree_line_right_before/ video and still image, hard to see, daytime cloudy sky, single dark object , from dashcam, Olympia Washington
.42 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13wpjjy/those_who_have_seen_ufos_did_you_have_this_same/ sighting descriptions, two flying disks that were silver, and silver sphere hovering over a military base, discussion of thoughts, possible telepathy, "tell no one, nobody will believe you.", similar experiences in comments, [GOODPOST]
.43 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13x1akm/my_sister_saw_this_on_her_way_home_in_normal/ video, nighttime cloudy sky, twolights, diffuse, buzzing noise, sudden departure
.44 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13wgv5t/white_orb_may_13_2022_video_analysis_digital/ video, nighttime sky, single light object
.45 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13v3cj2/took_this_in_december_2020/ photo, daytime cloudy sky, two objects, single light object, single dark object elongated, possible cigar or disk shape
.46 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13uxpa9/close_encounter_3rd_type_alien_witnessed/ experience description, entity, Ballarat Victoria Australia 🇦🇺, dark humanoid figure, possible reaction to being observed, vanishing, then the object it was standing on had a single orange light turn on, it raised slowly in a side to side motion turned vertical and then flew off faster than anything I’ve ever seen in my life, sudden departure , nighttime, contemporaneous report
.47 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13vaxw3/what_is_this/ photos, nighttime sky, single light object, vanishing, low over rooftop, duration 10 minutes, red 🔴
.48 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/13wgi7a/amazing_shapeshifting_ufo_video_i_captured/ video, shape change observed, Cincinnati Ohio
.49 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/13wgcrv/2_uaps_escorted_by_2_fighter_jets_israel/ video, hard to see, daytime sky, UAP and jets, possible military response, Israel 🇮🇱
.47 https://old.reddit.com/space/comments/13wxi24/nasa_group_studying_ufos_stresses_need_for_bette CBS News getting downvoted on the space sub for posting about the nasa UAP panel 🙃
.48 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13wc4r0/another_one_for_your_consideration/jmeu5lh/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, new jersey, nighttime, emotion of fear, fleet and mothership, close, rectangular
.49 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13xnod4/sighting_53023/ video, nighttime sky, threelights, starlink
.50 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13xoxn1/a_weird_set_of_lights_i_saw_tonight_above_new/ video, nighttime sky, two witnesses, plasma stuff, blue 🔵 and white, elongated, stationary, shimmering, lighting configuration change, new Delhi India 🇮🇳, contemporaneous report , silent, observed duration 10 minutes , low over rooftops, [GOODPOST]
.51 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13xl795/this_video_was_taken_by_a_good_friend_of_mine_on/ video, daytime cloudy sky, from airplane, from Denver Colorado to el paso Texas, western USA, single light object, possible disk shape,possible reaction to being observed, sudden departure
.52 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13xsywv/bizarre_experience/ experience description, location anomaly, unfamiliar surroundings, from car, emotion of fear and unease, duration 5 minutes
.53 https://old.reddit.com/Glitch_in_the_Matrix/comments/13xvgrx/what_did_i_see_as_a_child/ childhood sighting description, bedroom, nighttime, entity, humanoid figure, blue lightning 🔵
.54 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/13wthum/eerie_radio_transmission_interrupting_regula audio anomaly, radio, it was almost like what the 1980s would expect a robot to sound like if it communicated in bleeps. There was no static. The “bleeps” were clear and included pauses. It continued for about 15 seconds
.55 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13xu1o0/not_sure_what_this_is_call_for_help/ photos, evening cloudy sky, over water, Atlantic ocean, kitty hawk north Carolina, rectangular shape
.56 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13y4t9c/lightsorbs_over_my_home_in_merced_county/ video, nighttime sky, Merced County California, contemporaneous report , fleet observed, witness went outside, two groups, V formation, two witnesses, duration 10 minutes All together there had to be like 12-15 and there was always one slightly larger one in the back of the v formation., triangle, threelights , silent, emotion of fear, spooked, orange 🟠, animal reaction dogs barking, went nuts, objects did not seem hostile, just passing through, [GOODPOST]
.57 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13y9yp8/i_think_i_saw_a_ufouap/ sighting description, contemporaneous report, single object, two witnesses, daytime, Michigan, shaped like a cylinder or flat in some way., haze around it, electronic effects did not show up in photos, emotional reaction awe, it was awesome
.58 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13xyfnh/6123_santa_ana_ca_522pm_zig_zagge video, daytime sky, contemporaneous report, santa Ana California, zigzag movements, single dark object, repeat visitor
.59 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13y1zxm/does_anyone_know_anyone_whos_seen_an_alien_or_ufo/ discussion of sightings
.60 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13y979c/color_changing_orbs_house_vibrating_morse_code/ sighting description, nighttime, two witnesses, fleet, low below treeline, multicolored, changing colors from reds to blues to greens 🔴🔵🟢, green flash, passed the window, multiple passes, physical effects vibration, pulsating, Morse code "hello, hello, hello" over and over for another 10 mins
.61 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13yar5q/abduction/ experience description, possible abduction, onset of fatigue, anomaly inside home, moving blur, sensation of floating, family history, brother experienced the same, event amnesia, This then unlocked other dreams that I had from when I was much younger that I have still yet to process, repeat visitors
.62 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/13y5evm/i_saw_a_ufo_in_australia_in_the_1980s_ama_i_guess/ sighting description, Australia 🇦🇺 , three witnesses, silent, close, observed moving and stationary, sudden departure, golden, oval, pulsating, physical effects paralysis
.63 https://old.reddit.com/space/comments/13yiyt4/which_planets_are_this/ nighttime, single light object https://old.reddit.com/space/comments/13yg1lq/what_is_this/ more pictures https://old.reddit.com/astrophotography/comments/13xyc5w/venus_approaching_half_phase/ reference image of venus at half phase, contemporaneous report
.64 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13yhkgv/very_strange_phone_experience_with_reddit_app/ experience description, eyes 👀 looking back
.65 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13y2j94/i_had_seen_2_big_circular_crafts_above_the_clouds/ sighting description, lights above the clouds, diffuse, circular, twolights, storm, nighttime cloudy sky, Tucson Arizona
.66 https://old.reddit.com/CLOUDS/comments/13y23vi/weird_line_in_clouds_no_idea_what_is_going_on/ photo, daytime cloudy sky, cloud anomaly, horizontal line, separation , possible blue light in clouds
.67 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13xxdav/i_saw_aliens_today/ experience description, entity, contemporaneous report, daytime, information transfer, they needed help
.68 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13ykdho/tic_tac_ufo/ video, daytime sky, single light object moving, tictac, silent, possible splitting or jumpy movement at the end of the video
.69 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13yj9t1/for_your_consideration_june_1st_2023/ video, daytime sky, Ohio, duration 20 seconds, cubensphere, boxy orb,
.70 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13yr2ud/could_someone_help_make_sense_of_these_pics_taken/ photo, nighttime sky, possible disk, "long exposure of airplane", no craft visible to witness, Southeast England the UK 🇬🇧
.71 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13xzz05/semi_edited_video_of_the_one_i_posted_on_here/ video followup to previous post, nighttime sky, single light object, Decatur Alabama, vanishing
.72 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13yk4yp/odd_lights_in_the_sky/ video, daytime sky, Glendale Arizona, two witnesses, duration 30 seconds, fleet, flashing, [GOODPOST]
.73 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13y5mvg/strange_light_moving_slowly_in_the_sky_ove video, nighttime sky, single light object, observed moving erratically, multicolored 🌈, Queensland Australia, duration 20 minutes, Moving slowly up and down and seemingly from side to side at times
.74 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13ysp3v/orange_orbes_over_naarden_the_netherlands/ video, nighttime sky, twolights, orange 🟠, naarden the Netherlands 🇳🇱 , urban area, nice long 4 minute video, vanishing and reappearing , contemporaneous report, [GOODPOST]
.75 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/13ytkzq/strange_pink_jellylike_substance_from_the_sky/ experience description and photo, pink jelly falling from sky, transparent, reddish
.76 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13ys1ug/my_friend_sent_me_this/ video, nighttime sky, single light object, multicolored, blue, purple, red, white and green 🔵🟣🔴⚪️🟢, contemporaneous report, happening at time of posting
.77 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13yvvmp/tumbling_uap_vancouver_april_30th_2023/ video, daytime cloudy sky, Vancouver Canada 🇨🇦, single dark object moving straight, tumbling, similar sightings in comments
.78 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13yxk6b/what_is_that_a_satellite_top_left_it_was_moving/ photos, nighttime sky, single light object moving, contemporaneous report, urban area, near Washington DC, physical effects it felt like a magnet pushing the phone away
.79 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/13yz1yz/waking_dream_vision/ experience description, dream or vision, entities, blue 🔵, physical effects felt grabbed on left arm, information transfer, He said to me, "As I have grabbed your arm, someone has grabbed mine" and then let me go
.80 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13yepi7/pan/ experience description, entity, the god Pan
.81 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13zihv5/an_honest_question/jmrvkd6/?context=3 childhood sighting description, upper Peninsula Michigan, two witnesses, nighttime, dim circle of lights, physical effects paralysis
.82 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13zn6jc/portal_thingy/ photo, daytime cloudy sky, single object blackwhite, shield 🛡 shaped, Temescal Valley California
.83 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13zpvp6/my_ufo_sightinghas_anyone_ever_seen_fibonacci/ detailed sighting description, nighttime, camping, Galeton Pennsylvania, Suddenly I noticed when I looked into the sky that the entire sky - I mean every inch of night - was a swirling mass of interlocking Fibonacci spirals., two witnesses, additional objects observed moving and stationary, they stopped, flashed back and forth in strange blue and purplish light as if talking to each other, and then simultaneously shot straight up into the air, side by side, and vanished.🔵🟣, sudden departure upward, [GOODPOST], luring, splitting,emotional reaction anxiety, sleep disruption
.84 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13yz5m3/the_phenomena_of_things_flying_off_the_shelf/ discussion of things flying off a shelf.
.85 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/13zl7d7/uap_in_pic_zoom_in/ photo, daytime cloudy sky, Nevada, single object, blackwhite, possible pyramid
.86 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13zsj7q/seen_in_boston_ma_62/ video, nighttime sky, from home security camera, contemporaneous report, Boston Massachusetts, urban area, fleet, "birds", downvoted to zero, OP comments downvoted, deleted
.87 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/13zv038/light_at_night/ sighting description, single light object moving fast downward, entering the earth, contemporaneous report, thuringia nordhausen Germany 🇩🇪 ,nighttime , duration 4 seconds, blue 🔵, silent
.88 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13zw86p/can_anyone_explain_these/ video, nighttime sky, st Petersburg Florida, single light object moving erratically, similar sightings in comments, downvoted to zero, OP comments downvoted
.89 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/13zy7d5/ufo_drone_stationary_plane/ sighting, possible drone, very bright, observed moving and stationary, silent
.90 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/140c1th/the_mysterious_event_that_my_father_witnessed_a/ sighting description, family story, earthquake, purple smoke cloud, diffuse, 🟣, electronic effects radio interference, jellyfish, entities, shape change observed, flying saucer, red lights 🔴, rotating, sudden departure upward, duration 5-10 minutes, nighttime, Izmet Turkey 🇹🇷, similar sighting in comments
.91 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/1409rk4/looked_like_a_satellite_but_it_disappeared_quickly/ video, nighttime sky, contemporaneous report, single light object moving, observed vanishing, Melbourne Australia 🇦🇺, Chinese space station (TIANHE-1).
.92 https://old.reddit.com/aliens/comments/1403t51/a_couple_days_ago_i_heard_a_weird_almost_hovering/ audio description, wawawawawa sound, over the witness home, nighttime, two witnesses, ongoing activity, entity, animal reaction dog noticed it, contemporaneous report, similar audio experience in comments
.93 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13zw6sv/got_a_few_ring_notifications_and_this_is_what_i/ video, from home security camera, inside home, single light object moving , Tennessee https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13zza39/update_2_got_a_few_ring_notifications_and_this_is/ more video https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13zxfd0/update_got_a_few_ring_notifications_and_this_is/ more video
.94 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/140bmuo/ufo_sighting_when_i_was_younger_wonder_if_anyone/ sighting description and reference image, triangle, Red lights 🔴, has anyone seen?, similar sightings in comments, perception discrepancy other witness didn't see it , nighttime, from car, pacing car
.95 https://old.reddit.com/ufo/comments/140gfkp/2008_october_6/ sighting description, dawn, fleet, dancing, moving erratically, approach or flareup, urban area, two witnesses, duration 20 minutes
.96 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/140d2pd/source_of_high_pitchfrequency_sound/ audio description, high pitched sound
.97 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13zz6dz/unidentified_lightning_fast_creature/ video, nighttime sky, from home security camera, entity
.98 https://old.reddit.com/HighStrangeness/comments/13zukt3/are_aliens_real/ experience description, entity , aftereffects drawing shapes, and illness
.99 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/140i2ob/help_id_drone_or_something_else/ photos, nighttime sky, single object, Scottish Highlands on the North Sea Scotland, repeat visitor, possible military response jets, "lens flare"
.100 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/13ytjc6/strange_phone_calls_what_is_this_thing_that/ audio anomaly, strange noise, phone call, repeat visitor
.101 https://old.reddit.com/UFOs/comments/140jvta/can_someone_please_describe_what_the_orange_orbs/ childhood sighting description, nighttime, single light object, orange 🟠, flareup, splitting into threelights, moving horizontally and descending down, very bright, darkness bright as day, multiple witnesses, made the news, "comet", similar sighting in comments , downvoted to zero
.102 https://old.reddit.com/CLOUDS/comments/140jt9i/storm_clouds_after_dusk_do_you_see_the_squiggles/ photo, nighttime cloudy sky, anomalous lightning, possible blue light in clouds, storm , Colorado
.103 https://old.reddit.com/RBI/comments/140n3f6/just_heard_a_boom_that_shook_the_house_a_few/ audio description, loud boom, contemporaneous report, physical effects house shook

AO3 Link
Sonic Triple Trouble (I’m mainly using the fan-made 16-bit remake’s story here. If you haven’t played it yet, just ignore this section. It’s better to play the game for yourself, because it’s awesome):
Having seen the true power of the 7 Chaos Emeralds, along with the Master Emerald, Robotnik decides to make a new type of fake emerald after finding the yellow emerald. Along with that, he hires a treasure hunter named Fang The Sniper to search for the other 6 Chaos Emeralds, and he’s finally finished recreating his greatest creation from Little Planet: Metal Sonic 2.0.
However, Metal 2.0 isn’t the same as Metal 1.0. This one doesn’t speak, and while very close in speed, intelligence, and power to the original, it’s still not perfectly accurate. But this model does have a new ability: It can obtain bio-data from other lifeforms on it’s own, and replicate their appearances and abilities.
Regardless, Metal Sonic 2.0 is sent to Angel Island to acquire the Master Emerald’s power, and Knuckles’ bio-data. And while the robotic hedgehog catches the Echidna by surprise and puts up a good fight, it’s unable to secure the massive gemstone, but does gain some of it’s power, along with the guardian’s bio-data, before taking it’s leave.
Understanding Robotnik’s up to something again, Knuckles decides to use the Master Emerald to pinpoint the location of the Chaos Emeralds. And while hesitant to leave his home unguarded, the Echidna decides he has to go find the gemstones, and make sure the doctor doesn’t try anything.
As for Sonic and Tails, they’re just doing some machine tests, only to notice the jewel radar go off, and show that someone is gathering the Chaos Emeralds. While they aren’t sure if it’s Robotnik or not, the two decide to check it out in case it’s something bad, and head off to find the doctor up to his old tricks as expected.
In addition, they also come to clash with Fang, who is pretty sneaky and tries to outsmart the heroes, but often falls short, and ends up running away for the most part. And Sonic and Tails face Metal Sonic 2.0, disguised as Knuckles, which greatly confuses them, considering how things ended with the Echidna before.
Speaking of Knuckles, he’s mainly off doing his own thing, but does encounter the three villains many times, and is able to get his hands on a few Chaos Emeralds. Same with Sonic, Tails, and Fang. Robotnik also manages to create a much better replication of a Chaos Emerald, which he dubs a Dark Emerald.
Eventually, Sonic and Tails find out the Knuckles they were fighting the whole time was Metal Sonic 2.0, and everyone involved in this emerald hunt come together at Robotnik’s Atomic Destroyer base. The heroes defeat the robotic hedgehog, Fang is unable to stop them, and Robotnik ends up retreating, while losing his Dark Emerald.
However, this is when Metal Sonic 2.0 decides to take matters into it’s own hands, and uses the 7 Chaos Emeralds to make 7 more Dark Emeralds, in addition to the one Robotnik has, creating 8 total. And with them, it transforms into Rocket Metal Sonic 2.0, who is more than ready to take out everyone.
But luckily, Sonic is able to use the Chaos Emeralds to transform into Super Sonic again, and take on his robotic faker in space. It’s a tough fight, but the organic hedgehog is able to win, and everyone escapes the Atomic Destroyer base, which explodes. So, with the Chaos Emeralds scattered again, everyone goes their separate ways…
​
Sonic The Hedgehog 3 & Knuckles (Knuckles):
While relaxing at Angel Island one day, Knuckles is caught off-guard by one of Robotnik’s Egg Robo Badniks, which wasn’t destroyed by Sonic and Tails previously. This machine wants to finish what it’s creator started by taking the Master Emerald itself, along with the remaining Badniks and machines left on the island.
Naturally, Knuckles chases after the Egg Robo throughout Angel Island’s many regions, smashing Robotnik’s machines throughout, and collecting the Chaos Emeralds from the Special Zone. Eventually, the two head to Sky Sanctuary, where it’s revealed that Mecha Sonic is still functioning, and was the one behind this plan all along.
So, with the Master Emerald in it’s possession, the mechanical hedgehog not only destroys the Egg Robo, but also uses the massive gemstone’s power to transform into it’s own Super state after studying Super Sonic. Likewise, Knuckles chooses to fight fire with fire, and uses the Chaos Emeralds to transform into Super Knuckles as well.
The fight is tough, as the two are evenly matched at first. However, Mecha Sonic is unable to sustain it’s power for as long as Knuckles can, and eventually gets put down for good. After that, the Echidna returns to normal, tired, and is about to take the Master Emerald back to the Hidden Palace altar. But then, the area of Sky Sanctuary he’s in starts to break apart from the damage of the fight.
Hence, Knuckles falls from the sky while tightly holding onto the Master Emerald. Only to then be rescued by Sonic in the Tornado, complete with a mechanical claw to hold the Master Emerald. He picked up some strong Chaos Emerald energy on Tails’ jewel radar, and decided to go check it out, leading him to Angel Island again.
Once they get back onto the floating continent, and put the Master Emerald back in the altar to keep it in the air, Knuckles thanks Sonic for the help again, before the latter sets off. So, with everything back to normal, the Echidna returns to his duty of guarding his home and everything on it…
​
Tails’ Sky Patrol:
Around the same time as the Egg Robo’s attempt to steal the Master Emerald on Angel Island, Tails decides to go explore the world in search of his own adventure without Sonic’s company. Though, he just flies aimlessly in the sky, not having a destination in mind. But soon enough, he comes across a small island, and decides to land there.
However, the young fox is surprised to find many of the citizens here turned into crystals, or trapped in crystals, along with a bunch of metal railing plastered around the terrain. Tails doesn’t believe it’s Robotnik’s work, but before he can ponder who it is, he feels a vibration from the ground, and decides to hide in some nearby bushes.
Peeking out from the bushes, Tails sees just who is responsible for this chaos. It’s an evil witch in a cart called Wendy…Witchcart, along with her minions in their respective vehicles. Hocke-Wulf, Bearanger, and Carottia Rabbit. Proclaiming herself as the ruler of this island, the evil witch and her minions head off to do their respective tasks.
Once they’re gone, Tails gets out of the bushes, and while pretty nervous about fighting these guys on his own, the young fox knows he has to stop them and save this island. So, with a device called the Boomering, and his high intellect, Tails flies through the different regions of the island, helping the residents and defeating Witchcart’s minions.
Soon enough, the young fox reaches the evil witch’s Dark Castle, where the two have their final confrontation. And despite his fears, Tails is able to use his best attributes to his advantage, and defeats Wendy Witchcart, saving the entire island. This leads to the baddies getting locked up in jail, and after spending some time with the grateful locals, the young fox heads off again, happy to have saved the day all by himself…
​
Knuckles’ Chaotix:
One day, a strange new island comes out of the sea, which Robotnik discovers and studies. He learns that this continent is covered in small amounts of Chaos Energy, along with the many rings here. In particular, there are 6 colored rings that contain tons of Chaos Energy, which the doctor dubs Chaos Rings, and decides to harness their power for himself.
In a couple of days, Robotnik is able to manufacture dark rings, which have some Chaos Energy, and uses them to power up his Badnik army. In addition, the doctor decided to make a new model in the Metal series based off of Knuckles, after seeing how powerful the Echidna was: Metal Knuckles.
The metallic echidna, while not as fast or intelligent as Metal Sonic 2.0, has much more strength, and can harness Chaos Energy in order to increase it. Overall, this machine is a very useful servant of Robotnik, and the two of them quickly take over much of the isolated island, renaming it the “Newtronic High Zone.”
However, as Robotnik and his army do this, Knuckles is alerted by the Master Emerald about the isolated island, and comes to a conclusion. Due to Angel Island (With the Master Emerald in the altar) making contact with the Earth’s surface beforehand, the energy of the massive gemstone accidentally formed this new continent. Hence, believing this could be a problem, the Echidna heads towards this island in order to stop the doctor.
Once he arrives there, Knuckles comes across a few other people who decided to explore this island for their own reasons, such as Mighty, who doesn’t have Ray with him. They also meet Espio The Chameleon, Charmy Bee, and Vector The Crocodile. In addition, two of Robotnik’s machines, Heavy and Bomb, decide to defect from their creator and join the heroes.
So, the 7 of them form the Chaotix Crew, and they go through the five regions of the Newtronic High Zone in order to collect the Chaos Rings, defeat Robotnik, and destroy all of his machines. Knuckles often runs into Metal Knuckles as well, and the two clash many times, sharing a similar rivalry to Sonic and Metal Sonic.
But eventually, the Chaotix are able to free the five regions from Robotnik’s control, and collect all the Chaos Rings. However, the doctor uses a giant dark ring containing tons of Chaos Energy to empower Metal Knuckles, transforming it into a rampaging Titan. It’s a tough fight for the heroes, but luckily, some last minute help arrives.
Sonic, Tails, and Ray fly over to the isolated island with the Tornado, after hearing about what’s going on. Then, with the power of the Chaos Rings, the 10 heroes are able to destroy Metal Knuckles, send Robotnik into a full retreat, and save the day. Though, all the chaos-powered rings lose their power, and become standard rings.
Recognizing the good work they did together, Vector decides to start the Chaotix Detective Agency in order to solve more mysteries and problems like this (While also getting some good dough). Espio and Charmy end up joining him, but everyone else declines, before they all go their separate ways.
Team Chaotix go off to find a place to rent out and form their agency. Heavy and Bomb explore the world on their own, wanting to live a life free of Robotnik. And Sonic and Tails use the Tornado to fly Knuckles back to Angel Island, before they, Ray, and Mighty head off as well…
​
Sonic The Fighters:
Having built the Death Egg Mk ll, along with fixing up Metal Sonic 2.0, Metal Knuckles, and making a surveillance robot called the Tails Doll in order to keep an eye on Sonic and his friends, Robotnik starts sending out his army of Badniks and machines to take over the world and collect the Chaos Emeralds.
After dealing with Robotnik’s creations, Tails reveals that he’s been working on his own rocket ship to explore space: the Lunar Fox, which has three seats. So, he and Sonic have to find the Chaos Emeralds, recruit a third person to help them out, and then take the fight to the doctor and his metal copies.
First is Knuckles, who initially gets into a bit of a scuffle with Sonic, but Tails calms them both down, as there’s bigger fish to fry. With 1 Chaos Emerald already in their possession, the three heroes head off to find the other 6, leading them to Amy Rose, and her fashion designer friend, Honey The Cat.
While Robotnik’s robots do attack them, the heroes are able to beat them, and they get another Chaos Emerald. Plus, Amy shows Sonic her improved combat abilities with her Piko-Piko Hammer, which he’s impressed with. Now with 2 emeralds, Team Sonic go find the third one, which Espio is in possession of.
The Chameleon managed to take one from Robotnik’s machines with his ninja skills, and is trying to escape them. Luckily, Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles help him out, and also get more information on the Death Egg Mk ll from Espio, who was hired to gather intelligence on it from a client. Said client being Tails.
Anyways, Team Sonic has three Chaos Emeralds, and are heading after the fourth one, which appears to be in someone’s possession, and also going for the fifth emerald as well. Once they arrive at their target, the heroic trio come across Fang again, who has some back-up in the form of Bean The Dynamite, and Bark The Polar Bear.
The trio of Hooligans decided to go after a few Chaos Emeralds, hoping to sell them off for a high price. But unfortunately, they end up having to fight against Team Sonic, where they give a good performance, but can’t keep up. However, before the three heroes can get the fourth and fifth emeralds, Metal Sonic 2.0 and Metal Knuckles take them, and are unable to stop them due to the loss of stamina from the battle.
Fang is angry at having lost the Chaos Emeralds, and after discussing what’s going on with the heroes, he and his partners decide to cooperate with them for now in order to stop Robotnik and his creations. So, Team Hooligan and Team Sonic chase after the Metal copies, who are heading for the sixth Chaos Emerald.
As for the Tails Doll, it’s still watching Sonic’s every move, waiting for the right time to strike. But eventually, Team Sonic and Hooligan face off against Metal Sonic 2.0, Metal Knuckles, and a whole bunch of Robotnik’s machines. It’s a tough battle, and while they do manage to destroy most of the robots, Tails Doll knocks out the heroes with the strange energy from it’s gem antenna.
This gives Metal Sonic 2.0 and Metal Knuckles the opportunity to take the three Chaos Emeralds the heroes have, and with 6 out of 7, they and Tails Doll head off to the Death Egg Mk ll. Angered and worried, Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles decide to just go grab the last Chaos Emerald, and then head back to the young fox’s workshop to discuss what to do next.
Luckily, Espio and Amy managed to get the last emerald for Team Sonic, which they appreciate, but now they have to figure out what to do to stop the second Death Egg, and get the rest of the gemstones too. Then, once they’re ready, the three heroes board the Lunar Fox, and travel to the orbital space station for the final battle.
Once they step aboard, Team Sonic searches for where the 6 Chaos Emeralds are, and finds where they’re being stored. However, they’re intercepted by Metal Sonic 2.0, Metal Knuckles, Tails Doll, and even Robotnik, who’s piloting his own E-Mech combat suit. It escalates into a 4-on-3 battle. Or rather, just 3-on-3 since Tails Doll can’t do much on it’s own.
Sonic and Knuckles take on their Metal counterparts, and Tails tries to get the Chaos Emeralds while avoiding Robotnik and Tails Doll. Luckily, by outsmarting the doctor, and taking care of his plush copy, along with his gadgets, the young fox is able to get the other gemstones, while also activating the self-destruct sequence on the Death Egg Mk ll.
Then, Tails hands all 7 Chaos Emeralds over to Sonic and Knuckles, turning into their super transformations, and making quick work of their metallic copies, while Robotnik retreats. And once the young fox collects something important, the three of them escape the exploding space station and head back to the planet below.
Once they land, Sonic and Knuckles go back to their base forms, scattering the emeralds again, while Tails lands the Lunar Fox. They come to find that Amy, Espio, and Team Hooligan have been waiting on them, and give their gratitude on a job well done. Each in their own unique way.
That’s when Tails reveals that he actually got a bunch of Robotnik’s money that was stashed in the Death Egg Mk ll, and splits it between both Espio and the Hooligans, which they all appreciate. And so, with the day saved once again, everyone goes their separate ways…
​
Unseen Adventures (Part 3)
Archives
Unseen Adventures (Part 1)

When I met my supposed narc I was in the perfect position to be taken advantage of. I was just coming around on a year of leaving my physically abusive ex and got a job bartending. The owner took a liking to me and we ended up doing the dance. I never bartended before so I didn’t know any better and I just thought they saw a lot in me. Over the course of the last 9 months though I have seen things unfold and had so many lies told to me I don’t know my right from my left again.
I’ve tried to post here before but it’s all so confusing. He was so nice at first and charming and I met his kids and he told me of all the woman before me and his divorce, and I told him about my exes and history. Only for this to be eventually weaponized against me down the road. He grew obsessed with accusing me of being into all the guests and wanting to hookup with them and barred me from giving out my number to regulars, and is constantly trying to catch me in doing so. This has messed with my money making ultimately, all the while he claims no one can know we’re together because it’s bad for business for him.
I’ve helped and worked doubles and everyday sometimes, I do far beyond my peers and once the manager quit, I was assumed to absolve all her duties as well, seeing as that we secretly date so why shouldn’t he benefit and I suffer? We have had a revolving door of hiring and firing since I walked through the door
The whole time we have been together he will not kiss me except on very special occasions and if I absolutely beg or grovel. The most damning part of it all and I guess what should’ve been my biggest red flag is ultimately his wife divorced him for cheating with a bartender 14 or so years ago. Since then his dating history has consisted of long term relationships with other women who’ve worked for him though he claims he doesn’t do this often or people assume he dates everyone who works for him but I’m only the third. When in reality that’s just the lie he tells him self because he’s slept with a slew of random other women as well over the years.
Slowly over time I could sense him withholding things I needed and our sex started to reminded me of sex with my porn addicted ex, though this narc seems to experience very unfortunate erectile dysfunction which is ironic for how vulgar of a sense of humor and just overall vibe he has. He is very real and scary and he’s slowly made sure I am aware that and I definitely am in a way, though unlike my ex he never has touched me, only thrown things at me and screamed and yelled loudly in my face while I sit or stand trying to be as small as possible, or threatening me and my family verbally.
I stopped drinking a couple months ago because I needed to feel a sense of clear head and it’s opened my eyes to a lot. I feel like he feels he has less control of me and he resents me for it. I started to pull back because I felt him start to develop what seemed like his fifth new obsession over the time that I’ve known him which is hiring new hot bartenders. He’s hired someone before who blatantly wanted to hookup with him and I got very upset one night she called him 15 times and I read her messages begging for things to not end this way and she had never met anyone like him. I asked about her before of course when I noticed him staying late with her but he said no no no. I skipped town and quit and when I came back she miraculously was gone as well and the story changed fifteen times it seemed as well. I gave up trying to understand and naively thought he still might have liked me and wasn’t just using me.
I started to work on myself after stopping drinking and taking care of my body and spending a lot of time working out also just to clear my head from everything too. Our sex life diminished more and more though I would still sleep with him out of desire for some sort of connection or intimacy but I’m accused of not being into it or he gets frustrated for his dysfunction and blames me and we have to blow through it so we can focus on something else. It’s like he’s mad at himself for not being able to use me in that way.
He hired someone and I just knew in my gut she would be a problem like the woman before. But I continued on my journey of trying to get back into shape as I noticed he spent more time with her than others. Then last weekend we were hanging out and he got a call she was drunk behind the bar and he acted so frustrated to have to go in and assess the situation. Well and of course I don’t go as well seeing as that no one can know we’re togethwrzc and knowing my narc and his history and how he seems to lead women on, I got an awful feeling after not hearing from him for a few hours. I messaged him how things were going and I didn’t get a response and it was a good bit after closing time. I decided to get in my car and start driving to work because I had never caught him in a lie before because he’s so sneaky and maybe because he has so many years of doing this beyond me, but I wasn’t going to waste the opportunity. When I was driving he finally replied he was with a friend we both knew which I thought was odd cause he would’ve called or said something by now so I kept driving. I knew her car would be there but my heart sunk when I saw both their cars in the lot. I drove home and blocked him and I didn’t hear from him at all all weekend. It was like he knew I caught him in something and idk what but a lie finally. All this time while he has accused me of so much.
I unblock him to hear his excuse and his story changes five hundred times before I reveal none of what he’s said can even be true because I saw both their cars in the parking lot at 4 am. He says he’s sick of my shit he doesn’t care he doesn’t want me or her or anyone and if I had anyone to worry about it would be his ex. Which he’s told me before and he’s told me she’s also better in bed. I give up on trying to make sense of things and give my notice but work so I can finally move on. He’s called me over a few times over the last week which I have delicately avoided. Not to mention this all happens like a day after his ex (different one) magically showed up at the bar while I was working and he was there hours after he was angry I got into grad school.
Amongst trying to call me over he’s also seemingly trying to pretend I haven’t given my notice or quit and is trying to call me into work today. And money. This has always been a thing and I never noticed until I sobered up cause there’s a lot of cash flow but he holds my pay hostage. He pretends to forget to pay or he can’t cashapp me now cus of his accountant or can I order this or that and he’ll pay me because he doesn’t want his card online. So I told him I’d work only if he paid me and I worked twice and asked both times for my pay and didn’t receive it. So I think it’s so funny he has another employee asking me to go in for her right now and I just feel like he expects me to forget he owes me money. He’s racked up large tabs with me and I’ve had to practically beg for my money at times too which is dehumanizing and makes it harder to leave when I have money I worked for and am owed hanging in the ballads. I feel like it’s a tactic so I can’t just leave.

TWBS Previous Next First
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---Esme’s perspective---
---Saturday, 11th of November, 2682 Terran Calendar---
---Southern England---
Fucking Sussex!
‘Can you send me to the Forth Valley?’
‘Oh, we can try… On an unrelated note, how’s your standard English? No problems in communicating?’
I should’ve just said ‘No, I have great difficulty in communicating in anything but Lallans Scots!’ instead of putting on my poshest English speech register to say ‘Marjorie dearest, would you be a lamb and pass another buttered scone… hold the raspberry jam, it’s far too spicy for me!’ which she told me she’d take as a ‘Yes.’
“This is an English language barracks. If you have been directed here in error, please make yourself known to barracks staff for reassignment.” plays a loud, prerecorded Welsh language announcement, over speakers.
They’re fucking rubbing it in!
“This is an English language barracks. If you have been directed here in error, please make yourself known to barracks staff for reassignment.” it repeats in Scots Gaelic.
“Ceci est une caserne Anglophone. Si vous avez été assigné ici par erreur, veuillez vous faire connaître auprès du personnel de la caserne pour une réaffectation.” it says in what I’m 90% sure is a French version of the same announcement (I can’t be certain, though, as that’s not one of my languages).
Looking at the crowds queuing to get in makes me regret asserting that I didn’t need transport here.
‘You shouldn’t be sending someone to War that you don’t trust to navigate themself from Galloway to Sussex!’ were my exact words.
I brushed off the recruitment officer saying that I’d be processed faster if I arrived on Military organised transport.
Well, standing here’s not gonna get me to the front of the queue now, is it!
I walk forward to join the massive throng of people, almost all of which look to be about my age.
It’s astonishing how short you feel, being an average height girl in a crowd of people!
178cm really isn’t all that much when you’ve got a not insignificant number of +2m guys here!
Even guys who are the average 188cm can make a girl feel short when their packed too close…
I see a few Neanderthal hunks… perhaps conscription won’t be all bad(!)
When I make it to the front of the line, the guy just stares expectantly at me like I’m supposed to already know what to do.
“Y’awright?… Err… mah nam’s Esme Reid…?” I say, hesitantly, in perfectly comprehensible speech.
“I’m sorry, would you repeat that?” he answers, looking at me like I just spoke to him in fucking Chinese!
“Greetings, gracious sir! You may kindly refer to me by the name ‘Esme Reid’!” I say, affecting my supercilious Southern English gentlewoman accent.
“Alright, Ms Reid. Please present your draft papers and identification.”
The balls they have to ask me to prove who I am when they’re the ones asking me to go off and fucking die for them!
I think about quipping that I should ask him to show me some proof that this is a legitimate Military installation sanctioned by the government of Sol… but think better of it…
Instead, I pull out my draft papers and my holopad, quickly getting up my identification app.
The man scans the code with his own holo and spends a few seconds glancing from his screen to my face and back.
Seeming satisfied that I’m not attempting to enlist under a false identity (for whatever strange reason a person might want to do that) he glances at my papers, says “Everything seems to be in order.” and waves a hand in front of a machine which whirs for half a second before spitting out a simple chain necklace with two little metal rectangles hanging off of it.
He hands it to me and says “This is your identification tag. Please check that the information on it is correct and, if it is, put it on and never take it off.”
I check the tag.
“You’ve got my name and birthday right…” I say, making a conscious effort to keep my speech register in that that a standard English speaker would consider acceptable “…don’t know about the regiment and serial number.”
“Those will be correct.” he says with a ‘move along’ tone.
I shrug, raise the dogtag over my head and drop it around my neck.
I walk on and he’s serving the girl behind me before I’ve even rounded the counter.
I’m ushered through the barracks, herded by the staff, until I reach a building labelled ‘Billet House 279’.
It doesn’t really look like I expected soldiers’ digs to look.
Definitely prefabbed but sort of has more the look of a uni hall than anything else… though I think it’s probably a bit much to expect that I’ll get a room to myself(!)
I follow the throng of draftees through to a wide open room, on the ground floor, that looks like it’s normally a cafeteria.
The camp attendants (who I’m guessing were in the same boat as us, not too long ago) direct us to stand along the left, right and nearside walls, keeping the back wall and centre of the room clear.
Everyone in place, there follows a few minutes of silence broken only by people whispering to one another.
Then, she enters the room.
Dark skinned and clad in green camo clothing, her scalp is easily visible between her cornrows with nary a hair out of place.
Her expression looks absolutely indifferent with just the slightest hint of a curled lip.
From the broadness and flatness of her facial features as well as her single mauve eye, she is clearly half Tshwane… though, you’d never guess that from her stature!
Female Tshwane average nearly 2m… the men are more like 2.2m!
She’s shorter than me!
She’s also built like a Sapiens, not the willowy thinness typical of Tshwane
I guess genetics interact in funny ways sometimes…
Based on her age, her Tshwane parent would probably have to have been one of the very first to be cloned back!
The other eye seems to have been ripped out at some point because in its place is a bionic and there’s a patch of hypopigmented scar tissue, forming a tear shape, at the right corner.
“Recruits… Welcome to the United Terran Coalition Infantry Trainin’ Camp, Graffham… My name is Warrant Officer Simone Sands… and I’ll be your drill instructor…” says the woman, cooly, speaking in a rough sounding, London accent.
The surname ‘Sands’ probably means her dad was the Tshwane (though not necessarily… she might have been given her mum’s surname… or it might be a coincidental English surname).
“…You all know why you’re here… Most of you’ve prob’ly already lost loved ones to this War… You are here to defend our right to exist… and I can’t think of a more worthy reason to fight than that…”
I’ve decided I like this woman… She may be English but I’ll try not to hold that against her(!)
“The first thing I need to tell all of you is that, by the end of your trainin’, you will NOT like me…” she says, as if reading my mind “…that’s OK. My job ain’t to be liked, my job ain’t to make friends… my job is to make soldiers!”
She casts her biological and bionic eyes around the room, letting her words hang in the air.
“Note… that I said ‘soldiers’… This ain’t Full Metal Jacket. This ain’t the 20th Century. There’ll be no Pvt Piles here!… I ain’t aimin’ to destroy your minds or your individuality. I ain’t goin’ to physic’ly and psychologic’ly abuse you into becomin’ robots or killers… I am makin’ you into soldiers… Regardless… this process will not be easy! In fact, it may well be the hardest thing you ever do!… As the face of this process, you will come to hate and resent me for it!… I hope for it! The more you hate me the more-DO YOU HAVE SOMETHIN’ TO SAY, PRIVATE?!”
Everyone in the room is startled by the authoritative woman breaking herself off to shout angrily at someone on the other side of the room.
“STEP FORWARD AND SPEAK SO EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU!”
The boy that steps forward is tall, bulky and muscular with a handsome, half Neanderthal face… just my type!
Then he has to go and ruin it by opening his mouth.
“I was just saying… that I find it somewhat difficult to take you seriously as a commanding officer… You just seem a little bit… little.” says the boy in the poshest, smarmiest English drawl I’ve ever heard!
The woman does not shout, she does not scream, she doesn’t snarl or even purse her lips!
She just nods, as if considering his words, then asks “What’s your name, Soldier?”
“Rupert Forest.” responds the boy, proudly.
“And, how tall are you, Pvt Forest?” responds the woman, unimpressed
“195cm.” he answers.
“And, what’s your mass?” she asks.
“110kg.”
“I see, I see… So, by your logic… you’d make a better drill sergeant than me, would you? You’re 25cm taller and 35kg heavier, afterall!”
He smirks “I wouldn’t presume to say so, Ma’am…” in a way that definitely suggests that he thinks he would.
She seems to consider that for some moments before answering “Alright then, fight me for it!”
“I’m sorry…?” responds the poshboy.
“You heard me… Clearly, you got no respect for skill and experience but it seems like you must respect power… so fight me for it! You win, you get to train this lot, I win, you never question my authority again!”
Is this woman mad!?
She may be a soldier but this boy she just challenged is a half Neanderthal giant!
She’s gonna lose!
I do not want to be drilled by some snotty, privileged English brat who got here at the same time as I did and just couldn’t keep his fucking mouth shut!
Then again, I don’t really want to be drilled by a woman so delusional that she felt the best way to squash insubordination was to challenge a man she has no hope of beating, either!
The guy is clearly salivating over the power that’s just been slapped on the table in front of him as he answers “I accept your terms, Ms Sands…” with faux magnanimity.
There’s no way they’d let a Private run drills, is there? When he wins, someone just needs to go and complain and they’ll give us another (less stupid) drill sergeant… right?
He strips off his jacket to reveal a pair of thick, muscular arms that (in spite of his repulsive personality) are a thrilling sight.
He has to go and ruin it by flexing and posing, clearly revelling in the room’s worth of gasps he got when he revealed his arms… He obviously likes being the centre of attention.
“Done?” asks Sands, drily.
“If you still want to do this…” he says, smugly “…you could just concede defeat and I’m sure no one would hold it against you!”
Her lip curls as she answers “But… if I did that, no one would learn nothin’, now would they…”
He shrugs before launching himself at her without waiting for her to give the word to begin.
She whirls out of the way and he snatches at her, unsuccessfully, as his momentum carries him past.
“Lesson 1:…” she shouts while snapping into the space behind him and kicking out his knee “…size does not determine victory, strength does not determine victory…” levelling another powerful kick between his shoulderblades to bring him to the ground.
She backs off, allowing him to scramble to his feet and turn to face her, hunched in readiness and scowling.
“…Pvt Forest here looked at me with contempt on account of my small size and, though he didn’t say so, I’d guess that my rough accent, my lack of a graduate epithet and my lack of a penis also played a roll in his judgin’ me as less than!… He thought he could beat me, he probably still DOES, and, ’causa that, he didn’t respect my ability to lead…!”
Forest makes another lunge for the smaller woman, misses and is punished for it by being knocked back to the floor.
I’m agog as I watch this little woman… there’s no other word but toy with the giant man!
“…but victory does not care how big you are, how strong you are, how classy or educated you are or what**’**s in your pants or panties…!”
She dodges around his arm and pins his chest to the floor with her knee.
“Discipline and trainin’ determine victory!… Things that I have and Pvt Forest LACKS!… Things that ALL of you will acquire, over the next 8 months!!!” she turns her head down to the mountain of man she’s pinning to the floor “Concede, Private!”
The man shakes his head, trying in vain to leverage himself up.
“Alright then… Lesson 2: When faced with a resistant individual, compliance can be effectively enforced by the expedient of lockin’ their joints to induce PAIN!!!”
She grabs his thick arms by the wrists and pulls them backwards in a way they are not meant to bend!
He screams in agony!
“CONCEDE!!!… Don’t make me send you to the Medical Officer! It’d be inconvenient for BOTH of us if your pride makes you miss your first week of trainin’ while your arms heal!!!”
He holds out for two more seconds before screaming “I concede! I CONCEDE!!!”
She releases him and stands back up.
“On your feet, Soldier…” she growls down at him.
He stands back up, his face beet red.
“Are you ever goin’ to question my fitness to instruct again, Private?” she glares up at the humiliated giant.
“No.” he answers, gracelessly.
“No…?” she says as if waiting for something else.
Forest looks as confused as I am about what she’s expecting.
“No, Ma’am!” she snarls.
“No, Ma’am.”
“Good, we’ll work on your attitude, movin’ forward. Now, get back in line!”
The humiliated man picks up his civvy jacket and returns to the place he was called out from.
“Now, I don’t think I need to prattle on anymore about how you’re gonna hate me by the end of our time together, do I?… I think Pvt Forest helped me prove that point quite well, so I’ll move on… You will sleep in this buildin’, six to a room. Your rooms will be gender segregated. If you wish for a place to be… intimate with people of the opposite gender, you may request use of one of the conjugal rooms… I suggest you do the same if you want to be intimate with a same gender partner but that’s between you and your roommates! You will eat in this room at 0700hrs, 1200hrs and 1800hrs. Diet’ry requirements will be accommodated but, bare in mind, this ain’t your mummies’ and daddies’ kitchen! ‘This food is forbidden by my religion/personal ethics’ is a diet’ry requirement. ‘I am allergic to this food’ is a diet’ry requirement! ‘I don’t like how this food tastes’ is not(!)… In the mornin’s, you will be receivin’ lessons in lecture theatres, workshops and the like…”
“Oh great… just what I wanted after leaving school(!) More classrooms(!)” I mutter to myself.
Her head instantly wheels to me with unnerving precision.
“Someone else with somethin’ they’d like to say!?” she says, locking eyes with me, terrifyingly.
“No, Ms Sands!” I answer, instantly.
“Miss?! I’m not your bloody schoolteacher girl!!!”
Everyone laughs. Even Pvt Forest, like he wasn’t just humiliated himself, 2 minutes ago!
“Ma’am… err… Ma’am, no, Ma’am!!!” I say, doing my best to emulate the tone I’ve seen soldiers use in films.
She rolls her eye (it’s difficult to tell if the bionic rolls too) and says “Better… What’s your name, Private?”
“Ma’am, the Private’s name is Esme Reid, Ma’am!!!”
“Do you remember me tellin’ you this ain’t Full Metal Jacket?… You don’t need to scream when you talk to me, you don’t need to refer to yourself in third person and one ‘Ma’am’, when you’re done speakin’, is enough, Reid!”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
She points to her single, mauve eye, then to me and says “I’ll have my eye on you, Reid!”
Somehow, her tone sends a chill up my spine but I do my best not to show it.
She turns away and I release a silent sigh of relief.
“As I was sayin’… In your lectures you will learn the ins and outs of military theory; tactics, strategies, logistics etc. You will learn as much as we can tell you about the nature of the species we are fightin’; their capabilities, tendencies, political organisations and known weaknesses… bear in mind that First Contact weren’t much more than 4 years ago and we’ve been at War for almost all the intervenin’ time, so a lot of what we teach you will be little more than guesswork and hearsay from prisoners we’ve interrogated… The mornin’s’ll also be where you learn the particulars of the equipment you’ll be expected to be proficient with in the field. This includes firearms, plasmaweaponry and durasteel armour, as well as the tech you’ll likely encounter from the opposite side; kinetic pulse weapons, laser weapons, field emitters etc… I strongly suggest that no one allows word to get back to me that they’re not takin’ these classes seriously!… A stupid soldier is a dead soldier!”
She glares around the room, her eyes resting on me four a quarter of a second.
“…In the afternoons and evenin’s, you’ll be doing PT… that’s ‘Physical Trainin’’… soon to be every one of your two least favourite words in the English Language(!) “
I notice a wry smirk twist the mouths of a few of the camp attendants.
“In PT you will be drilled in agility, endurance, close quarters combat and coordinated marching… Five times over the comin’ 8 months, you and your trainin’ partner will be dropped into a remote bit of wilderness, somewhere on Earth, for five day practical survival experience. You will be given a beacon, to summon retrieval, but these are only to be used in cases of actual threat to life or bodily integrity… not because you’re feelin’ miserable!”
She takes a second to pause for breath.
“You get an allowance of 12 days off, over your time here… that’s two a month… These are subject to my approval and I may deny them for any reason, including no reason… so don’t piss me off!… You may not take more than 2 consecutive days leave at a time! Certain classes are mandatory and leave will not be approved on days they occur. If your allowance is spent, no more leave will be approved, barring a real emergency!… Now, for today, you are going to line up to have your maps and room keys downloaded onto your holos when your name is called, then you are going to have your bodies scanned for your armour measurements… at that point everyone with no uterus has the rest of the day free to settle in… If you have a uterus, you’ll need to report to medical to get your cycle paused! This is, I’m afraid, nonoptional… You are not prohibited from engaging in relations with your fellow recruits but you cannot be a soldier while you’re able to get pregnant. Attempts to circumvent this requirement in any way will land you in the Stockade!… After your cycle pause has been given, you’ll also have the rest of the day to settle in… Enjoy it! It’ll be the most downtime you get for a while!… Finally… I believe we have a 17 year old with us here… Pvt Taylor?”
A few people put their hands up, most looking confused.
“Pvt Oskar Taylor! The 17 year old?” she says, exasperated.
All but one of those with their hands up put them down.
The one remaining Pvt Taylor with his hand in the air has pale skin, black hair, brown eyes and a sharp featured face wearing a dour expression.
He stands even taller than Forest… Nearly 2m tall!
Though he’s not quite as heavily built, he’s certainly a good looking piece of boycandy!
“Pvt Taylor…” says Sands, her mouth breaking into a smile for the first time I’ve seen “…couldn’t wait to go off to War, could you(?)”
He mutters something but, while I can hear the power and deepness of his voice, I can’t make out a word he says.
“You’ll have to speak up, Taylor! Nobody’ll be able to hear you if you mumble.” points out Sands.
“I said I had some personal circumstances that made this the most sensible course of action for me, Ma’am.” says the tall, dark haired man, looking over her head rather than down at her and speaking in a grim monotone. He definitely loses boycandy points for the poshness of his accent, unfortunately…
“I see… I won’t pry into that but… you didn’t think of Officer Training? That’s the route that most people take when volunteering ahead of their conscription.”
He shakes his head “I thought of it and decided against it, Ma’am.”
“Oh? Why’s that, Pvt Taylor?”
“I didn’t believe I would make a good officer, Ma’am.” he answers simply.
She laughs “I wish every soldier could be as introspective, Taylor! I like you!… Unfortunately, bein’ a minor does mean that you can’t be put in a room with others… Sooo, that means you get a room to yourself… for the moment. Might sound cushy but before anyone else gets too jealous, bare in mind that privacy is the only advantage! His room will be a sixth the size of yours so its basic’ly a broomcupboard… the disadvantage will be severely reduced opportunity to socialise!… If that doesn’t sound doable, you can leave and come back when you turn 18, Taylor.”
“It’s acceptable, Ma’am.” he says without hesitating.
Yeah… it’s official… I don’t like him…
---later---
I rub the spot on my arm where the serum was thunked into me about 15 minutes ago.
Like with everything else about conscription, I get it… I understand the point…
But seeing the sense doesn’t mean I have to like it!
It’s not like I want to get pregnant (getting a nine month reprieve from service would be a fairly shitty reason for me to bring a child into the world) but it does feel like one last slap in the face to my personal autonomy that I’ve just had a cycle pause fucking mandated upon my body by the government!
As I draw near, door 1512 detects the key downloaded on my holo and unlocks
I open it and am greeted by a blonde girl, smiling broadly and instantly identifiable as brimming with ADHD energy.
“Hey there! My name’s Charlotte, it’s lovely to meet you!” says the girl, wrapping me in a hug without asking if I’m OK with that.
Her accent makes me wonder if everyone I meet here is going to be a posh toff!
She makes three of three of my fellow draftees!
“A pleasure, Charlotte… the name’s Esme…” I say, speaking Scottish accented standard English and gingerly patting her back.
“Oh, you’re Scottish…?” she says pulling herself off me with an expression that suggests meeting a Scottish person is just the most wonderful thing she could have imagined “…My great grandmother was from Edinburgh, where are you from?”
“Stranraer.” I answer.
She frowns “I don’t know it, I’m sorry!”
“I won’t hold it against you… Southwestern tip of Scotland? Where it nearly touches Ireland and the Man Peninsula?… ’Bout two and a half million people?”
“Oh, wooow! I don’t think I’ve ever met someone from a village before!” she says, seeming entirely oblivious to how that might be taken as an insult.
“Yeah… I guess it’s not that big.”
“Well…” she wraps me back in the hug and continues “…we’re the first ones to the room and that has to mean we’re going to be best friends!”
“I’m afraid my best friend’s name is Tamsin… the position is not open.” I say, firmly setting a boundary.
“I meant best bootcamp friends, silly!” she says, as if that should have gone without saying.
“Alright… I guess that positions open… but you’ve not got the job yet(!)” I quip, warming up a little to the ball of posh English energy.
She pulls back and beams at me “Alright then, for my first act as best bootcamp friend candidate, let me show you the view!… That should earn me some points!”
She says, leading me into the room that’s so small it makes me doubt that that goody-two-shoes 17 year old can possibly have one a sixth this size!
She leads me to the window and spends a few moments making sure I’m positioned just right before she draws back the curtain.
The view is quite breathtaking… rolling hills of snow blanketed mammoth steppe, lit by evening sun, with barely any of the sprawling military camp visible.
Though, you can see one of the tallest structures ever built by Humanity… the Sussex Space elevator… several times the Earth’s own diameter, the ‘top’, if you can even call it that, is a fifth of the way from here to Luna! …And… in 8 months, I’m going to be riding it, all the way up, to get on a troop transport.
“Look! See! There’s a herd of aurochs over on that hill! You know this place used to be a national park, before even Unification or the Reset! It’s called the South Downs! My mum told me we had family from here… obviously I never met any of them because they would have left hundreds of years ago!…”
The bubbly girl talks and talks and… just keeps talking… but I don’t particularly mind.
---
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TWBS Previous Next First

Economics:
I believe we should replace capitalism with a centrally planned economy where all state industry and public utilities are micromanaged by a self-learning AI. The AI would be programmed, and trained by Marxian and Keynesian economists to understand basic economics, and would be fed data on economic trends so it could accurately predict and avoid recessions and shortages. The AI will also be educated on Marxist philosophy, so it doesn't make economic decisions contradictory to Marxist ethics. All private business would be made illegal, except for heavily regulated worker co-operatives which are partly owned by the state. Worker co-operatives will only be allowed to produce luxury goods and non-essential products.
​
For an example of how this system works a strong central bureau, with the help of the previously mentioned AI would be in charge of agriculture, housing, healthcare, construction, mining, electricity, telecommunications, education, retail, distribution, banking and finance. Worker co-operatives are allowed to start businesses under this system in any business sector not mentioned previously. However, the worker co-operatives must sell their products and services through government owned stores or other government owned channels, and the government legally owns 10% of the business. Which means the government takes 10% of the profits the worker co-op makes, in addition to any typical taxes the government already collects. Manufacturing is split between state industry, and worker co-ops. The state should be exclusively in charge of manufacturing firearms, pharmaceuticals, chemicals, textiles, metals, paper products, and plastics. There should be a public option for cheap government made environmentally friendly cars, and computers. But worker co-operatives should be allowed to create luxury alternatives. These alternatives have a luxury tax applied to them to subsidize the public options, and keep them competitive with the worker co-ops.
​
Social Policy:
I am a staunch atheist, and believe in a strong separation of church and state. Churches should have to pay property taxes, and if a government official's religion gets in the way of serving the public they should be removed from office. Religions which openly oppose gay marriage, trans rights, and abortion should be made illegal and the practitioners of these religions deprogrammed. Needless to say I support gay marriage, and trans rights. I support abortion for any reason up to 28 weeks. I also support abortion in the third trimester for rape, incest, birth defects, and for teen pregnancy. I am a sex-positive feminist, and I support the Me Too movement. It should be easier for women to come forward, and it should be easier to convict those accused of sexual violence. I am a big supporter of hate speech laws similar to the ones in the UK, and think Critical race theory should be taught in schools. Hate-groups should be illegal, and their members arrested by the state. There should be more oversight, and accountability for police officers. We should centralize and standardize police training, because trusting the states to determine how police are trained is how we got so many racist and unprofessional cops to begin with. There should be a new government agency to deal with police brutality cases, and investigate them independently of our existing court system. I support marijuana legalization, and non-violent drug offenders should be let out of prison. I support the death penalty for rape, murder, and treason. Those sentenced to death should have the right to choose how they die within a year of their conviction. Their options are hanging, firing squad, guillotine, and gas chamber. Convicts sentenced to death should be allowed one appeal, and have a year from the date of their conviction to prove their innocence. I also support legalizing prostitution, and gambling for adults. Puerto Rico, Guam, Washington DC, and indigenous reservations should be granted state-hood.
​
Foreign Policy:
I support Ukraine, and condemn the Russian invasion. I think the United States military should liberate Crimea, and enforce a no-fly zone over Ukraine and the Bosporus. The United States should send weapons to, and help training the Combat Organization of Anarcho-Communists to help overthrow Vladimir Putin's regime in Russia. I believe the United States should have friendlier relations with the People's Republic of China, and stop supporting Taiwan. Currently, I see NATO as a necessary evil for as long as Putin remains in control of Russia, but NATO should be disbanded if Russia ever collapses or if the current government of Russia is overthrown. I support the United States lifting the embargo on Cuba, and lifting sanctions on Venezuela. The United States should pay reparations to Cuba, Vietnam, and Venezuela for it's actions against those countries. I support the Kurds, and believe Kurdistan has the right to exist as an independent country. I oppose Saudi Arabia's invasion of Yemen, and consider it a genocide of Shia Muslims. I support Palestine, and consider Israel an apartheid state. I believe Israel is committing genocide against the Palestinians. I support the protestors in Iran, and the brave women of Iran who are standing up for their rights. I also support North Ireland rejoining the south, and an independent Catalonia. I am against North Korea, and see them as red fascists who misrepresent Marxism. The same way Pol Pot's Cambodia was an authoritarian nationalist state which misrepresents Marxism. I also believe socialist states with the military capabilities to do so should lead a world revolution in militarily and economically weaker capitalist countries, and do more to support Marxist movements abroad.
​
Other:
I am a staunch environmentalist, and support transitioning away from fossil fuels. I think it'll take a combination of nuclear, solar, geothermal, and tidal power to replace fossil fuels. All developed countries should be building carbon capture systems, and there should be an international effort to clean our oceans. Using technology to reverse the damage humanity has done to the environment since the industrial revolution is very important to me. We should also be having fewer children, as I believe overpopulation is a large contributor to climate change. Fortunately, I believe the west is very close to, or already has, stabilized its population growth. One of the biggest reasons, but not the only reason, I believe birth control is a fundamental right and every country should have common access to birth control. I do eat meat, but I believe we need to do more to regulate the treatment of animals, and make sure livestock is killed humanely.
​
I believe Marxists should participate in national elections in western countries, and need to do more to build support in marginalized communities. In America, Marxists need to help socialists in the Democratic Party get elected, if there are any. Otherwise, we should be voting third party for Marxist candidates if there aren't any prominent socialists on the ballot in the Democratic Party. Liberals and Neo-Liberals aren't part of the left or our allies. Never forget what the Liberals did to Rosa Luxemburg. That being said, I do believe in leftist unity, and Marxists should work with socialists and anarchists to work together to defeat capitalism. We also should show our support for Marxist revolutionaries in the third-world as best as we can.
​
I believe scientific advancement is a corner stone of a Marxist society. We cannot achieve a stateless society until we've developed an Artificial Intelligence sophisticated enough to run society without human interference, and Marxist societies should invest heavily in computer science, and technological advancement to create a self-aware AI to run society, and true communism cannot exist before we achieve the technological singularity. I am also a transhumanist who believes we should allow designer children within a socialist society to improve the general health of the species by eliminating genetic diseases. I also believe humans could be augmented in the future with computer implants that connect to the internet, bringing humanity closer together. Also, a Marxist society should heavily invest in space exploration so that eventually the vast majority of humanity can live in space. As an environmentalist, I believe this is the best thing humanity could do for the planet.

Violence continues in Sudan, the cryosphere breaks down, recessions, harvest failures, heat waves, droughts, and floods. Mother Earth has got a terminal case of humans.
Last Week in Collapse: May 28-June 3, 2023
This is Last Week in Collapse, a weekly newsletter bringing together some of the most important, timely, useful, sad, ironic, amazing, or otherwise must-see moments in Collapse. Try not to overdose on this week’s Doom dose.
This is the 75th newsletter. You can find the May 21-27 edition (which I accidentally labeled the 73rd edition) here if you missed it last week. These newsletters are also on Substack if you want them sent to your email inbox every Sunday.
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The World Meteorological Congress concluded on Friday, and it released a bunch of reports. The focus this year was on developing early warning systems for wateclimate/weather disasters. Most countries report declining ability to monitor hydrological developments, and almost half of the world’s people lack reliable access to water for at least one month per year, a figure that is expected to grow considerably by 2050.
The WMO also reported on the state of emergency for the cryosphere, those places where ice is formed (and melts). Greenland’s ice has shrunk for 26 consecutive years. Permafrost threatens to release huge quantities of greenhouse gasses over the coming years. Sea levels continue to rise…but you know this already.
Montevideo, Uruguay’s capital, has come up with a plan to extend their almost-exhausted water supply: they’re adding salt to the tap water, against WHO recommendations. This causes people to drink less water—but what are the implications for health, and for small-scale agriculture?
Over 20 million tonnes of what was damaged in China by recent rain, not long before it was scheduled to be harvested. Analysts say this will raise grain prices worldwide. The scale of this blight is larger than recent blights. In the U.S. state of Georgia, 90% of the peach harvest was destroyed by abnormally warm weather; in Vermont, a freak cold snap damaged crops, potentially 30% of apples.
6 years. 800 million trees felled in the Amazon rainforest, all to create space for cattle farms. The loss of rainforest is equivalent roughly to two Corsica islands.
Environmental scientists have discovered a hopeful tool to lower CO2: Greenland’s “rock flour,” which is basically rock dust. A recent study claims that it can be scattered on fields to absorb CO2—and also boost wheat and potato yields. International lawyers are also working on the first global plastics pollution treaty that could be passed later next year.
Yet another study claims that Mother Earth is sick, and that most of our safety thresholds have been crossed. The feedback loops have been activated, the diagnosis is terminal. The Nature study lists the 8 Earth System Boundaries: 1) Climate, 2) Functional Integrity, 3) Natural Ecosystem Area, 4) Surface Water, 5) Groundwater, 6) Nitrogen, 7) Phosphorus, and 8) Subglobal Aerosols. (Not to be confused with the 9 Planetary Boundaries.)
Some insurers in California are cutting homeowner insurance because they can’t make a buck betting against wildfires and desertification. Similar risk is expanding in Texas. Summer is coming. A mysterious wildfire in Scotland is growing out of control, and threatens to become the UK’s largest ever.
Record May rainfall in Bermuda. Part of South Africa also saw record rains in May. Strong rains in southern Spain—but the parched soil can’t absorb much of it. Meanwhile, the Philadelphia area had its driest May in recorded history.
Vicious drought and Afghan dams have raised tensions between iran and Afghanistan, where fighting killed a handful of people two weeks ago. In times of scarcity, no group can have enough water; even less if they’re forced to share. Most of the world’s lakes are drying up.
An official in India ordered the draining of two million liters of water from a reservoir……so he could retrieve his phone, which he dropped in the water while taking a selfie. He was suspended. The phone was recovered—but too damaged to function. The water could have irrigated 6 km² of land.
Wildfires grow in Nova Scotia. Millions going hungry in Madagascar. Record temperatures in Japan. Normalized heat waves across Asia with new records in Central Asia & the Caucasus.
Scientists warn of potential tsunamis caused by underwater landslides in Antarctica. New cold records in Australia. Heat waves in North Africa. Increasing reliance on expensive desalination plants in Barcelona as drought and water supplies worsen.
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Türkiye’s President, Recep Tayyip Erdoğan, won reelection, and economists believe it portends the further Collapse of the economy. Investment is pulling out, and the lira is expected to continue sinking. “We will be together until the grave,” said Erdoğan at his victory speech.
The UN operation to drain the *FSO Safer* has begun now that technicians have boarded the vessel. 1.1 million barrels of oil aboard the derelict tanker, stranded off the coast of Yemen, will begin being drained next month.
Petrol prices rise in Benin as Nigeria cuts its fuel subsidies; Iran is limiting fuel purchases too. China’s declining birth rate, growing debt, and ongoing international decoupling is threatening its economy. Eurozone inflation continues. Trade-GDP ratios approaching 2008 levels worryingly.
Budapest is facing bankruptcy. Refugees in Tanzania are seeing their rations cut in half as financing falls off. Vicious conditions inside refugee camps in Chad take advantage of Sudanese refugees. Debts grow in Brazil. Complicated problems continue destabilizing the world’s economic equilibrium.
Another Russian missile attack struck Kyiv last week, after allegedly pro-Ukraine Russian volunteer soldiers made an incursion into Russian territory. Wagner Group’s chief continues provoking Russian leadership as infighting appears to grow, following a Ukrainian drone attack on Moscow. Zelensky says Ukraine’s counteroffensive is now ready.
Myanmar’s Civil War has entered its third year, depending on when you claim it began. In the desperation and chaos of prolonged warfare, it is the environment that pays the price. Wood, gold, jade, and other resources are being exploited by government and private actors after the old economic system broke apart.
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62% of Americans agree that the COVID pandemic is over (it’s not), an increase of 14% since February 2023. 56% of Americans admit that they never mask up in public anymore. An updated booster is coming in September to address the XBB.1.16 variant. Masks may go away, but (Long) COVID will stay with us.
The WHO’s treaty to manage future pandemics is being watered down, leaving humanity less prepared for the next pandemic. Although China denies the lab leak origin story, a prominent Chinese scientist claims it is possible. COVID is never going away, and neither is Long COVID.
Cholera is spreading in several refugee camps in Kenya; medical attention comes too small and too late to prevent the spread. In Sudan, where over a million people have been displaced by recent violence, old inequities linger. Over 13M children are in desperate need of humanitarian aid (about half of Sudan’s 46M population are below 18). Their situation has never been more critical.
Experts continue warning about the dangers of AI, and push for regulation, while other actors push to use AI for economic benefits. I am uncertain which field AI will disrupt the most: military, low-skill workers, societal psyche, institutional integrity, creative jobs, politics, financial markets…? What will be the second-order effects, tertiary, etc.?
Tanzania has called an end to its Marburg virus outbreak, about 10 weeks after it declared an emergency. The UK is advising at-risk people to get vaccinated for mpox/monkeypox before their vaccine program ends in August; 10 new cases in the UK were recently reported.
PFAS, the so-called “forever chemicals” used across many household objects, are dangerous to your health. You also probably could have guessed that manufacturers knew—and lied about—their safety for decades. A study tracked the use of PFAS (since 1940’s) and the knowledge that they were harmful (since 1990’s). Companies including DuPont settled a case for a little over $1 billion USD for their role in the scheme. The billionaire Sackler family also settled a gigantic case regarding opioids, in which they must pay about $6 billion USD, and forfeit control of the pharmaceutical company they’ve held since 1952. The company (formerly Purdue Pharma) is rebranding (as Knoa). Nobody is going to jail.
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A catastrophic train crash in India killed 280+ people. The crash involved 3 trains, and is India’s deadliest in this century.
Riots in Kosovo. Torture in suspected gangster prisons in El Salvador, with 153 prisoners killed since March. Ongoing protests in Israel over the proposed judicial reform.
Lebanon has been without a President for more than 7 months now—and now target dats have been missed to hold important municipal council elections. Town budgets are falling further into chaos, police are going unpaid, garbage is piling up, and would-be foreign investors and money-lenders are losing the scraps of hope they had for Lebanon’s crippled economy. No one is coming to save them.
Cartel violence is rising on the border of Mexico-Guatemala. Organized non-state armed groups conscript local guys, intimidate people into leaving, blockade towns, and shoot each other in the streets. Several thousand people have been displaced—and others disappeared. Far away, Syria is being welcomed back into the Arab fold—on the condition that it cracks down on the intractable drug epidemic of captagon.
One of Libya’s rival PMs was ousted a couple weeks ago, and now the other PM in the east is striking towns in western Libya with drones, allegedly targeting fuel/human smugglers.
Boko Haram jihadists are infighting in northern Nigeria, but the civilians are paying the price. Guerrilla territorial competition may also bring in more people into regional hostilities. In eastern DRC, violence has displaced over 80,000 people so far this year, and their regional hospitals are overcrowded.
Rumors are emerging that M23 will attack Goma, the sprawling epicenter of East Africa’s refugee situation, where human rights abuses are increasingly common and the local ceasefire is breaking down. Islamic radicals also operate in the region, targeting civilians. About 6 million people across the DRC are believed to be internally displaced, and about half a million around Goma (population: unknown, perhaps 750,000 or twice that). There are also reports of planes sighted which belong to the European mercenary company Agemira.
The Sudanese Civil War is spiraling out of control again, as skirmishes broke the incomplete ceasefire. The Central Statistics Bureau was attacked, hampering official data for various purposes. Over 1,000 people have died so far, crossing an unofficial threshold for an armed conflict to officially become a War. About 2M have fled the fighting. Rockets killed 18 and injured many more at a market in Khartoum, sanctions are being imposed by a few nations, and other countries are wading deeper into the War, complicating the situation and preventing clean avenues to another ceasefire.
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Select comments/threads from the subreddit last week suggest:
-There is rain in Romania, based on this observation. But there’s also corruption, growing labor strikes, inflation, and political difficulties.
-Greenland’s climate is out of whack—and apparently the people don’t seem to care that much, judging from this rare observation from West Greenland.
-Portland, Oregon is still a cross-section of modern America’s Collapse, if this observation can be trusted. Heat, insecurity, overcrowding, loneliness, and crows… Reddit has also been affected by psychological decay, according to the poster.
-People are abandoning climate hope, if you believe this gilded thread and its many gilded comments. Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em.
Have any feedback, questions, comments, resources, recommendations, free PDFs, manifestos, etc.? Consider joining the Last Week in Collapse SubStack if you don’t want to check collapse every Sunday, you can get this newsletter sent to your email inbox every weekend. I always forget something... What did I miss this week?

As table setting, I haven’t listened to MBMBaM in three years, give-or-take, so I have no clue what the modren era (😎) of the show is like. However, I have been hate-listening to a movie podcast enough that I’ve actually turned a corner into liking it, so I feel spiritually ready for this. Plus I’m a little drunk, which has never been a bad decision for anybody ever.
0:00 - I’ve always kind of disliked the intro, especially the “cool baby” part, and sadly that has not changed with time.
0:20 - First time hearing the new theme song, which is fine if a little twee for my taste. I weirdly hate how they deliver the “1, 2, 3, 4” up top, but that’s just nitpicky. We can’t all be DeeDee Ramone, you know?
1:10 - Introductions. Travis introduces himself as “noted intellectual and middlest brother”, and Griffin just says “…And I’m Griffin… McElroy”. I didn’t laugh, but I did actually find that slightly funny, so I’m optimistic for how this goes.
1:35 - Justin has invented a new game that he wants to play called “Simply the Guests” where he tells them who guested on a celebrity’s podcast and they have to guess the celebrity. Travis points out that the title is a touching tribute (to Tina Turner, he clarifies a few seconds later) and there’s a bit where Justin and Griffin pretend not to know she died that Justin interrupts with a parody song. Is this too soon? I can’t tell, but I also only get my celebrity death news from Simpsons memes.
2:31 - I’ve had to pause and restart enough times that I’ve realized how shitty the web player is, since I have to click like three times before it registers as being on the page and actually trying to play instead of just highlighting the button, and if I try to click the 15 second rewind button it usually skips to the ~11 minute mark right above the button. However, I refuse to actually download the episode because if I do that, Jesse Thorne wins.
2:58 - Justin only has one round prepared, but expects it will take longer than they expect. Griffin rightly questions if it’s actually possible to play this game based on the information that will be provided. Travis says that sometimes when he comes up with a game, it’s like when you start off at level 1 fighting Sephiroth and die, but it just takes you to a cutscene and is all part of the game. I’m struggling to think of games he’s come up, which is maybe a metaphor for how I never finished FFVII. Justin says it should be easy if their heads are on a swivel, and 50-50 if they’re half paying attention.
4:30 - Justin is giving the guests in order as they’ve appeared: Billy Ray Cryrus, John Carter Cash, Billy Bush, Albert Pujols. Griffin laughs and makes a joke about how his head is on a swivel but it hurts, and I’m shocked and a little disappointed that it wasn’t a joke about how one of the greatest Cardinals of all time has a name that’s pronounced “Poo Holes”.
5:00 - The next guests listed Adam Carrolla, Clint Black, and Gary Busey. Travis incorrectly guesses Blake Shelton. Justin says Katie Couric was the next guess, and Griffin’s postulation of Kevin Sorbo is apparently pretty close.
6:10 - Dr. Drew is the next guest. Travis asks if they would be willing to guest, and Justin says he likes to think they’d have a nice long talk about it. Griffin guesses Randy Quaid. Justin neither confirms nor denies, but instead finishes listing the guests - Sharon Stone, Martin Short, Mike Lindell (the MyPillow CEO), Jim Brown, and Anthony Fauci. I actually kind of like this game, because what the fuck?
8:40 - Justin says he’ll give them an episode title for any celeb mentioned. Travis picks Sharon Stone, who covered “Pandemics, Social Justice Movements, and Animal Actors”. Griffin picks Pujols, who covers “Baseball, Downs Syndrome, and Living the American Dream”, and asked if there were other baseball players on the list.
10:05 - Justin admits he skipped Jimmy Morris because he didn’t know who that is. I didn’t either, but I have the power of Google and in the time it took him to explain why he was skipped, learned that he starting playing for Tampa Bay Devil Rays when he was 35 and The Rookie was based on him.
10:30 - Travis and Griffin discuss “Sorbo adjacent” celebrities and Justin scolds them for not talking to each other, saying that’s what a podcast is and that he’s trying to do a podcast. To paraphrase a joke from Jon Gabrus, it’s three straight white men talking, we already know it’s a podcast.
11:30 - Travis suggests Dennis Quaid, since he has a strong connection to baseball and Christ. Griffin agrees and Travis is in fact correct. Ironically, that means that Jimmy Morris was probably the most helpful clue, since Dennis Quaid starred in The Rookie. Justin offers a bonus for naming the show, and says it’s something with “Dennis”. Griffin accurately guesses “The Dennissance”.
13:45 - Justin mentions Morris was the titular rookie, and claims that people forget Dennis Quaid. They discuss the Quaid siblings a bit and advise Dennis to get back in the podcasting game.
15:15 - First question of the episode: “My boyfriend and I were looking for a bar before your Columbus TAZ show and walked by one that looked empty and not our vibe, but it had tinted windows so it was hard to tell. We walked to another bar and inside the door person flagged us down and said someone was looking for us. We were already inside this other bar when the woman who was working at the first bar said she saw us looking in and said “Please come into my bar - we have cheaper drinks. We were confused and startled and decided to stay at the bar we were already at, but we weren’t sure if we regretted it because this person went to the effort to chase us down half a block, cross a busy street, went through a revolving door to get to us. Also, the drinks at the bar were expensive. Should we have gone back to the other bar instead?” - Confused in Columbus. Not to brag, but I’ve been to a lot of bars in my lifetime and can say with some confidence this didn’t happen.
16:05 - They immediately answer that, no, they should not have gone back to the other bar. Travis accurately points out that weird pursuit aside, if they have that little business then 100% of the focus would be on them. Griffin thinks they would have had a tremendous amount of power and would get their drinks immediately, and the bartender might have cool stories. They discuss how bad the design of this bar is that it’s impossible to see inside, both because they crave attention and so that someone will notice in case they go missing.
18:45 - Travis says if he ran a restaurant across from another restaurant, he would go up to patrons at the competitor and try to lure them away. Apparently Tom Green did this with pizza delivery as a TV show, and Justin thinks he would have Shark Tank’d it if it was a viable option.
19:36 - Travis says Tom Green would’ve probably called it “Shart Tank”. I laughed out loud.
20:00 - Griffin says in Austin they basically have to have barkers for the various bars given the amount of competition for foot traffic and Justin thinks they should just go for hyper-local advertising.
21:00 - Travis offers Griffin an investment opportunity, claiming he needs angel investors. Justin is incensed that he isn’t offered the chance, and Griffin says it’s because he has no money but maybe his “crypto shit’s gonna pay off some day”. Justin says he doesn’t have “crypto shits unless I’ve been eating cryp-tacos” (Griffin pitches crypto-salsa) and that Superman hates cleaning up Krypto shits.
21:44 - Travis points out that Superman named his dog after a thing he hates. I swear this had to be a Seinfeld joke at some point, since the two things I know about Jerry Seinfeld are (a) he loves Superman and (b) he’s not funny. Actually, I know a third thing, which is that he dated a 17-year-old when he was 38. Anyway, fuck that guy.
21:50 - Travis pitches having a long stretch of connected bars by buying all the existing bars and knocking down the connecting walls. Griffin and Justin point out that’s essentially the Disneyland model, and Justin mentions the Goofy sour balls.
21:51 - I Googled “Goofy sour balls” and thankfully it was a real candy. Griffin indignantly says that they stopped making them and that “Goofy took his sour balls away”. Travis says “He washed them” and they ignore him. I laughed out loud again, man’s really winning me back. They continue on this riff, making more and worse versions of the same joke.
24:07 - Question 2: “I’m enrolled in summer college courses. In one of my classes, a guy in front of me likes to stretch backwards over his chair with his eyes closed. His head basically ends up right on my desk and he will breathe in my face. I’ve had to move my laptop to stop him from laying on it. Am I the weird one for staring at the guy as he disrupts all my belongings and my personal space? He does it more than five times a class. It’s very awkward and makes it hard to focus on the lecture. Should I say something? Help me brothers, how do I stop this stretching bandit from stealing my peace of mind?” - Cramped College Co-Ed in Canada.
24:57 - Justin has an immediate suggestion. I assume it’s the actual solution, which is to say something like an adult or just switch seats, but nope, it’s the old chestnut of put some jelly on it. Griffin suggests surprise massage. Travis clarifies that they’re definitely ignoring the “excuse me, could you not do that” option, which Griffin confirms because it’s not very funny. This takes me back to when I used to regularly listen, since part of the driving force for me stopping was the sheer number of questions that could be solved by two seconds of slightly awkward conversation. I totally get it, social anxiety is a bitch and I’ve absolutely been there, but the lack of funny kinda stems from the question. They all agree, and Travis suggests adding broken glass to the jelly.
26:57 - Griffins goes back to the massage suggestion, with “dual percussive massagers”. Justin suggests hovering over them and saying “There’s my sweet boy” and Travis suggests a “little kiss on the forehead” which, thankfully, they immediately shoot down. Still, I’m uncomfortable.
28:00 - Justin points out that, if someone actually followed the advice they give, the problem would be solved, it’s just a question of consequences. There’s some more discussion of the Quaids but my spirit is a little broken and I can’t bring myself to rewind to accurately transcribe any of it.
29:43 - Money Zone: Travis says, “Well Justin,” and Justin misidentifies him as Griffin. So far, hardest laugh of the episode. The ad is for Zocdoc, which Justin mispronounces a lot. I assume any service that advertises on a podcast is actually just a money laundering scheme, medical stuff doubly so, but it does remind me that MaxFun podcasts are the only ones where I can tell the ad copy was done in a single take with no edits. I admire it, in a way.
32:45 - A MaxFun ad for “Just the Zoo of Us”, which is apparently a podcast where they rate animals on their “effectiveness, ingenuity, and aesthetics”. It kind of worked on me, which is to say I’m debating the merits of getting a Zoobooks subscription as a childless woman approaching her thirties.
33:30 - A MaxFun ad for “Feeling Seen”, where the editor likes to play the game of taking a sip of coffee anytime the guest says how good a question is, how smart the host is, or cries unexpectedly. I cannot stress enough how much this makes me not want to listen. I don’t even have anything snide to say, I’m just genuinely put off by it.
34:19 - Griffin introduces the Wizard of the Cloud: How to “Talk Nerdy” to someone, which is meant to help you talk to the “cute nerd in your science class” by becoming more adorkable to them. Justin and Travis are disgusted by the word “adorkable”, which feels like a real split with their brand of appealing to mid-2010s Tumblr users.
36:00 - Travis points out that this article presupposes that nerdy people only want to be seduced with nerdy things, and will shun all other romance. The original pickup line is “Are you a carbon sample? Because I definitely want to date you. If you’ve seen The Big Bang Theory, you already know science and physics nerds are the best” Travis punches it up with “I’ve got a theory that we should Big Bang.” Currently he’s batting a thousand for me.
36:55 - Wikihow asks “Can math be sexy?” They talk about how sexy 8 is and Travis makes a 69 joke, so I retract my previous statement. There’s a gross astronomy-based pickup line saying “Do you mind if my comet enters your solar system” and “Hey, nice asteroids”. Mercifully, no “Can I touch Uranus?”
38:30 - More bad pickup lines, now about computers. Apparently “You’re hotter than the bottom of my laptop” is a good come-on. The video game lines are equally impressive, and Wikihow recommends that distracting gamers away from their games is easier said than done. These are more sexually charged than before, but no more clever.
43:30 - We’ve arrived at Star Wars. Wikihow says “Jedis are tough nuts to crack, so you may need to use the Force to woo them effectively.” It’s been a while, but I’m fairly certain Jedis aren’t allowed to fall in love and that’s kind of a whole thing with the prequel trilogy. Also, are we not doing phrasing anymore? Cuz Jesus, they should take a second pass at that.
43:46 - Wikihow suggests several “Yoda-approved pickup lines”, and they do some bad Yoda impressions like “pull down some trim, you will” and “wet, you will get”. This is apparently a thing they’ve done before called “Clipping Yoda”. Justin makes a “something something something, I thought they smelled bad on the outside” joke.]
46:08 - They discuss the very limited situations when the suggested “I find your lack of nudity disturbing” is acceptable, then move on to the Lord of the Rings lines which are equally questionable. Travis brings up the theory that Frodo doesn’t know Legolas’ name, and now I wanna rewatch LotR.
50:09 - Justin suggests coming up with their own lines, which results in “You make me feel like John Rhys-Davies in Sliders, cuz I wanna climb in those holes” and Griffin looking up “nerd movies”.
51:40 - Question 3: “My bank has been advertising a home ownership service to help folks buy and sell homes. I usually ignore them, but this time they’ve been offering a chance to win a flattop grill package with a $100 gift card to a very expensive butcher. I’ve been really wanting to get my dad a new grill. Brothers, I have no way of buying a house, let alone sell one. They’re contacting me, trying to help me buy a house. How do I explain to them I’m only entered to maybe win the grill and have no interest in the service?” From the Poor Hopeful in B (?).
53:00 - First of all. Second, they suggest the asker (a) admits they were only in it for the grill or (b) saying they have a budget of $750 for a furnished home. It devolves into a riff about Bobby Flay and pitches for “Flay Bobby Flay” and “Bob Bobby Flay” to see if he floats.
56:15 - Plugs for stuff and the end of the episode.
Closing Thoughts: I actually enjoyed that, although with a lot of stopping and starting to write this. Also anyone who likes Clipping Yoda may also like Action Boyz, because pedophile Yoda is a surprisingly rich vein to mine. I don’t think I’ll ever actually pick up listening again, since I have about 280 episodes of Off Book to get to first and this whole recap has made me really contemplate my mortality, but I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed it

Had a G2A nightmare - everything that could go wrong apparently did go wrong.
The first attempted order, I closed the window before adding payment information. The second attempted order, the first card I tried was not accepted. These two orders are currently waiting for payment. I cannot seem to cancel them. The third time, I tried a different card, and my redirect blocker extension caused a timeout error and so I retried the order. The fourth time, I tried the previous card again and my bank blocked the purchase. This order was canceled automatically. The fifth and final time the order went through without a hitch. Unfortunately, my third order, which I believed to be cancelled, went through anyway and I recieved and was charged for two copies.
I have since messaged the seller and emailed G2A support. I sincerely hope this can be resolved as soon as possible.

Thanks and Credits in the Comments Section due to LONG chapter.
Chapter 31: A Whale of a Tale and it’s All True
“IT’S FUCKING J-POD!”
Kalai watched in shock and awe as the two humans collectively lost their minds, hopping up and down and letting loose a series of high pitched vocalizing as she, Papa, and Mama Sakalbi stared in confusion at the two ecstatic aliens.
Andy turned and ran back to where Kalai and her parents were still staring in amazement and held his hand out, face alight and happier than she’d ever seen him before. “Binoculars! Quick! I want to see who’s out there!” Mama Sakalbi tentatively held them out, and he took them with a nod of thanks before rushing back to the bow. Kalai started as he jumped up on the bow and balanced against the roller horns to spot the black and white whales that were swimming fast towards the net.
“Eyes on Mama Shachi! Look, over there, see her?” Kalai approached cautiously as Andy pointed in the direction of a cluster of porpoising black shapes that were coming nearer.
“Eyes on! I got Grammie Slick out there too; the WHOLE POD’S HERE!” Jackie cut loose an undulating cry and waved her hands as little geysers of water and air shot out from the water on the other side of the net.
Kalai nearly jumped when a miniature version of the Orcas from the clone tank at Headquarters breached the water, leaping almost twice her height into the air before splashing back down in a massive wave.
“Look at that! Butterball’s getting some good air these days!” Andy crowed as he hopped back down from the bow and passed the binoculars to Jackie.
“Butterball?” Mama Sakalbi asked as she and Papa joined them. Kalai stared as the Orcas formed a line and charged at the middle of the ‘S’ bend in the net before diving down in front of it, sending a wave that pushed the corks back. She saw the spouts and the dorsal fins rise again for another charge at the net.
“He’s the baby, only about four years old. Grammie Slick’s taking the family hunting, see how they’re flattening the net out? We’re about to have a great fucking day!” Andy took Jackie’s shotgun and took it back to the cabin as Kalai and her parents crowded the rail.
“What are they doing?” Mama Sakalbi’s question was directed at Jackie and the woman turned to answer with a gigantic smile.
“Herding! See the ones circling around the net?” Jackie pointed to the two dorsal fins that were almost invisible in the fog that was starting to burn off in the morning sun that had started to clear the eastern mountains. “They’ll be starting to round up small schools of salmon once they’re done turning our net into a reef. Right now, they’re running along the line and probably seeing what they have to work with.”
Mama Sakalbi did a double take, “You must be joking, that level of intelligence would almost be-”
“Human?” Jackie interrupted with a smile, “Yeah, that’s our original teachers out there. We learned to fish from them.”
“I was going to say ‘sentient’, but I take your point. What I want to know is, what are they doing?” Mama Sakalbi gestured out at them, with a bewildered look on her face.
“They’re using the net as a sea wall. Thing is, the net’s hard to see in the water, but the fish can feel it. They’ll put their heads into the net, but that doesn’t catch them. They’ll try to swim around it so that’s why we put an ‘S’ bend. That’s where most of the fish get tangled.” Andy returned and picked up the explanation. “See in the center of the line? That fin with the black and white little checkmark behind it? That’s Grammie Slick, the Matriarch. She’s around sixty now, and grew up out here LONG before you all came down. They don’t always do this, but I guess with you all keeping the fishing fleets docked, she saw the net and wanted a big meal for the family. They’re going to keep pushing the net until it’s in the shape of a crescent and herd a bunch of small schools into a big baitball with pickets to keep the fish pinned in the middle. You watch, there’ll be salmon jumping all over in the middle as they school up.”
“That’s when you’ll see them charge up the center and take big old mouthfuls of salmon. It’ll be a smorgasbord for ‘em!” Jackie pulled up Andy’s omnipad and started recording.
“Wait, but you hate seals for competing with you for food, why are you this excited about Orcas who take so much more?” Papa asked as he also took out his omnipad and started recording as the pod of Orcas finished repositioning their net just as Andy described.
“Because they’re using the nets as a reef to trap the fish! See? Look! There they go! The wolves are out scaring every salmon in the area here!” Kalai dug her own omnipad out at Andy’s words and watched as the dorsal fins sank below the waves, with only a faint and fading wake to tell where they’d gone.
“Now watch ‘em set pickets! They’re going to start patrolling the outside of the net. When they get enough salmon in the middle, they’re going to charge. When they do, watch the entire middle section of our corks go under from the salmon trying to get away. They get whole heaping mouthfuls of food and we get a full net!”
Kalai watched the Orcas swimming in circles around the net like Helix Sharks, and felt a pang of fear seeing the big predators that seemed so gentle and inquisitive in the tank. “But what if they get caught in the net?”
Jackie suppressed a laugh before sweeping an arm out at the net. “I’ve never seen that happen before, and I haven’t even heard of it happening before… at least not here in the Salish Sea. All our Orcas grew up around these nets, so they’ll either avoid them or use them like they are right now.”
“I think it’s because they can see them and the fish can’t. Either way, we’re in for a show!” Andy patted Kalai on the back before pushing Kalai and Mama Sakalbi forward.
For a long while, the surface was calm, save for the circling Orcas as they all watched. Then, by degrees, there was movement on the surface of the water as fish the length of Kalai’s arm started to jump and kick in the baitball. Kalai watched, fascinated, as Orcas seemed to appear and disappear along the edges but never approached the middle of the net.
All the fins disappeared from the surface and an eerie stillness settled over the water. Suddenly, the water in the middle of the crescent erupted, with hundreds of fish shooting out of the water and a sudden surge that hit and pushed the corks outward before they sank completely out of sight. Jackie and Andy started vocalizing those strange undulating cries again, raising their fists in the air before shouting something in their language. From as best as Kalai could guess, it was encouragement as the Orcas started breaching and jumping. In those moments, Kalai could catch glimpses of their mouths full of salmon.
Kalai watched as the terrified fish swarmed towards the net, and watched as many seemed to jump over it and swim away as the Orcas gorged themselves on the enormous school of salmon they had trapped. It was an awe inspiring sight to see, and Kalai lost herself in the moment watching the amazing display of symbiotic hunting and fishing between them and the Orcas.
The engine of the boat turning over broke the spell they were all under as Andy moved the boat at a dead slow pace back towards the net. “Alright, let’s haul it in and reset for ‘em! Jackie! Get on the bow with the billhook!” Jackie whooped in agreement and gently pushed passed Kalai to grab a long pole with a small metal hook at the end.
“We’re gonna have to work fast. They’re hungry, and we all want salmon today,” Andy called over the sound of the engine as they approached the giant buoy that marked the end of the net. “Doc! Open that hatch back there and watch your step! Mrs. Vaida, stand clear in the cabin; I want no accidents today, and three on deck’s going to be a crowd with how many fish we’re going to be taking in. Kalai, I want you back in the-”
Kalai shook her head as she put her omnipad away. “I can do it! Let me help!” she was riding the high feeling of watching the Orcas, and seeing Andy and Jackie preparing to go to work while she was to be just a passenger galled her.
Kalai saw Andy give Jackie a look that she couldn’t quite interpret. “Alright, but you’ll work with me picking fish. Jackie, you’re on the Drum; trade places with me!”
Kalai saw Jackie huff and give Andy a piercing look as she handed off the billhook. “Watch out for jellies, they tend to explode,” the native woman muttered to Kalai as she took over at the net drum’s controls. Kalai was about to volunteer to grab the line with the hook, given her longer reach, but Andy had already leaned almost all the way over the side. Kalai had a momentary scare as Andy seemed to dip forward, seemingly in danger of falling overboard, until he seemed to almost levitate himself using his lower legs back into the boat and pulled the line over the roller horns. She stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do when Andy braced a foot against the side and began to pull on the line and feed it back towards Jackie.
“Way, haul away, we’ll hang and haul together! Way, haul away, haul away Joe!”
Though she didn’t understand the words, Kalai knew a sailing song when she heard one and didn’t wait for any instruction. She moved forward opposite Andy and lent a hand, pulling the heavy line in to the cadence of his chant. After two verses, Kalai heard the whine of hydraulics and the slack in the line behind them went taught.
“Stand back! Here we go!” Andy called to her and the line began pulling the net back aboard. Kalai looked back to see that Jackie had wrapped the line around the center pole of the drum, with the wheel turning to pull the line and net in out of the water. A small set of guide poles that moved when Jackie twitched the controls kept the line evenly distributed on the drum as the first corks and the dripping wet net began to appear out of the water.
“Put your hoods up!” Andy yelled at her over the noise of the machines, and demonstrated the motion. “It’ll keep the water, seaweed and Jellies out of your face and eyes, and take this!” Andy tossed her what appeared to be a handkerchief and he mimed the act of tying it around her face like a mask.
“What about you? You’re sleeveless!” Kalai’s voice was slightly muffled from the cloth as she tied it around her face before pulling up both hoods.
Andy didn’t respond, except to grin at her as he leaned out to watch the net coming up out of the water before it got pulled aboard.
From behind her, Kalai heard Jackie start singing another human sailing song. It was a bit fast paced, and Andy joined in for the chorus. On the third time she heard it, she joined in too.
“Blow ye winds in the mornin’, Blow ye winds, high ho! Haul away your running gear, And blow ye winds, high ho!”
“Coming up!” Andy shouted as there were several loud thunks before six large salmon appeared in the giant fluorescent green tangle of the net. The drum stopped, bringing the fish to a halt as Andy pulled on the corkline and scurried his hands back and forth, gathering the net up as he did until he reached the first fish. Kalai watched in awe as he seemed to magically pull the fish from the tangle and shake it out onto the deck. The second one seemed to be resting on top of the tangle and he flipped it over the corkline and shook the fish out onto the deck.
“Just watch these first few. When you get a feel for how I’m doing this, jump in. Until then, slide these beauties back towards the stern. Jackie’ll pitch ‘em into the hold.”
Kalai nodded and watched Andy’s movements intently. It looked like sorcery, with how fast he moved his hands and zeroed in on a fish. As soon as he was done, he’d whistle to Jackie, who kept singing the cadence out to pull more of the net in, only to stop when more fish were pulled up and over the horns.
The song changed twice before Kalai felt confident enough to jump in. She almost got tangled in the net herself trying to pull out her first fish, but Andy gave the net a quick tug and she was free again. Maddeningly, the fish had simply fallen out of the net without any help from her, and she fumed just long enough for Andy to point to one that was closer to her.
“Hoist up the thing, batten down the whatsit! What’s that thing spinning, somebody should stop it! Turn hard to Port! That’s not Port, NOW I GOT IT! Trust me, I’m in control!”
On the second refrain, Kalai managed to dig her first fish out and drop it to the deck. She let out a whoop, and Andy paused for a moment to give her a quick applause.
“That’s one, girl! There’s a thousand left if we’re lucky!” Jackie called out as Andy sang a verse and tackled another fish in the net.
“Keep an eye on the lead line; make sure it doesn’t go over the corks!” Andy called as Kalai ran down her second fish and was about to throw the excess net over the other side. She stopped, and Andy helped her get the fish without tangling the net.
It took until the end of the song for Kalai to find her rhythm, and soon she and Andy were running down fish in the net in a crisp and quick manner. Kalai felt like she could go faster, but Andy had cautioned her to keep pace with the songs, as there was still a lot of net to go. When Kalai spared a glance at the length of net still in the water, she saw that Andy wasn’t kidding. It looked like they hadn’t even really started to reel it all in. Ok, it’s hard work, but so is sailing, and he’s my size so I should be able to keep up with him. If he can do it, I can do it!
“Haul away you rollin’ kings! Heave away, Haul away! Haul away you’ll hear me sing, We’re bound for South Australia!”
Andy was impressed. Kalai had jumped in without complaint, and she was very coachable. He could feel himself start to flag as they were starting to come to the last third of the net, but Kalai’s persistence, even though she was sweatier and more haggard than he was, kept him going.
The pile of salmon was almost as deep as their calves, and the deck was getting slick with fish slime. For that matter, so was Andy. In a momentary lull in the fish coming over the horns, Andy caught a glimpse of himself shimmering with all the scales that had flown off the fish as they scraped against the net to hit the deck, flopping. He took a big gulp of air and Kalai groaned as she straightened up, cracking her back as she twisted and bent to relieve her aching muscles.
Andy groaned a bit and looked back towards the stern. It was getting hard to see over the amount of net they’d pulled back in, but he could see Doc and Mrs. Vaida doing their best to help throw and shove the piles of salmon into the hold. Everybody’s getting their hands dirty today. Andy smiled and heaved a happy sigh. This, this is what I want. Being out on the water and doing good, hard work.
“SHIT, JELLYFISH!” Kalai shouted as she twisted away to hide her face behind her rain slicker hood. Andy blinked just in time as a wet squelching sound sent a spray of disintegrating jellyfish exploding all over the bow as the net bunched up and got squeezed together.
Andy felt it splatter all over his arms, neck, and face, before he felt it start to slide down his shirt to his chest. Almost immediately, he started to feel the burn. His arms, neck, and chest he could stand, but the blossoming pain on his lips, eyelids, cheeks, and most horribly the inside of his nose overwhelmed all his conditioned pain tolerance.
“FUCK!” Andy screamed. “FUCKING FUCKER! RIGHT IN MY FUCKING FACE! GOD FUCKING DAMNIT! FUCK!” Andy only barely avoided bringing his hands to his face. It was a hard fought thing to deny his instinct to try and scrape it off, but he felt his boots loose purchase and his feet slide out from under him. He hit the pile of fish that surrounded him hard. He was aware of Kalai yelling for her father and Mrs. Vaida, while Jackie’s braying laugh carried over everything else.
Andy felt Kalai trying to grab him, but her gloves were too slick to get a grip and all she did was spread the stingers more evenly over his arms. Andy kept his eyes squeezed shut as he heard Jackie start to direct the confused and panicking aliens.
“Hold your breath, cuz, vinegar incoming!”
Andy felt the bitter stinging splash as Jackie poured a steady stream of vinegar out from what he assumed was the giant jug he kept for these occasions underneath the little kitchenette in the cabin. Though nothing about the intensity of the burn changed, in the back of his mind, Andy knew that it was killing the stinging cells.
“Alright, Kally, take that bucket and fill it with seawater from over the side, then dump it on him.”
Andy sputtered a bit and spit as he scrabbled onto his knees. He steadied himself with one hand on the rail beside him and the other which found the corkline. He kept his eyes shut and growled as the burning spread from his hairline down to his navel. A sudden bracing splash of cold water nearly bowled him back over. Without warning, Andy hadn't had time to get a breath and he sputtered and yowled as the water soaked down under his rain gear.
Andy shook his head like a dog, whipping his braid back and forth before daring to open his eyes. “Son of a BITCH!” Andy growled as he got a look at Kalai holding an empty bucket, while Jackie was shoo’ing Mrs. Vaida and Dr. He’osforos away to give him some room.
“Jesus, quit your bawlin,’ you big baby, you’re acting like you’ve never been stung before!” Jackie called back to him as Andy ripped the gloves off his hands and plunged them over the side to clean off the stingers.
“It’s in my fucking nose you horse’s ass!” Andy shouted back as he splashed his face. A few strings of purple stingers fell into the water and Andy reared back aboard. “Ugh, get another bucket of seawater! I can still feel this shit!”
“Andrei, as a medical professional, I advise you to cease work and-”
Andy looked over as Dr. He’osforos spoke but waved him off mid sentence. “I appreciate it Doc, but I’ve had it far worse than this. There’s a brown and yellow bottle in one of the drawers under the bench that says ‘Motrin’. Get me the bottle or enough to tranq a cow, and I’ll go back to work just fine.”
Kalai let loose a piercing scream and Andy looked over just in time to see her rocketed herself backwards, dropping the bucket over the side. The Doctor caught his daughter before she fell into the hold, but he too had a look of fear plastered on his face. Andy and Jackie moved to the side to see what had scared her so badly, and the two of them couldn’t help but laugh out loud.
Grammie Slick and two of her daughters were there, sticking their heads out of the water with their mouths open, while Butterball was playing with the bucket.
Jackie laughed and stuck her hand out, rubbing the Orca matriarch on the snout. “Raggedy Andy’s fine, Grammie Slick! He’s just milking it for sympathy from these gullible hwun’eetums!”
“What in the Balance of Nature is going on here?” Mrs. Vaida’s shocked voice caused Andy and Jackie to look at her as she stared dumbfounded at the Orcas that were gathering alongside the boat.
“Oh they’re just saying ‘hi.’” Andy shrugged with a smile, despite the burning.
“More like ‘What the hell, cousins, you still got fish to pick. Quit loafin’ around and get another set in!’”
“Jackie, Motrin… NOW!” Andy growled at her. Jackie blew a raspberry at him before diving into the cabin.
“They’re pretty friendly, if you’d like to be introduced,” Andy held out a hand and motioned for Kalai and her father to step forward. Andy dipped his hand in again to make sure it was clear of any stinging cells, before he gently guided the hesitant Kalai to stick her ungloved hand out toward Grammie Slick.
One of the daughters blew a spout before sliding back under water, but Grammie gave a few clicks before briefly touching Kalai’s outstretched hand. “Kalai, this is Grammie Slick, Matriarch of J-Pod. Grammie, this is Kalai… a purple hwun’eetum.” Andy laughed a bit at the look of incredulity on Kalai’s face and the concern on her father’s.
There was a series of shutter clicks from behind Andy, and he turned to see Sakalbi snapping pictures as fast as she could. Kalai was clearly torn between fear and wonder as she held perfectly still and silent for Grammie, who was letting her touch her before she slid back under the water herself. Andy laughed as several clicks and whistles from the pod reverberated through the hull of the boat and he leaned back in.
“Alright, break’s over,” Andy called as he caught the flying bottle of pills Jackie threw at him. He popped two and swallowed them dry before washing the gloves off and putting them on. The extra rinse would have to wait, and he’d have to tough it out until they got back to shore. His boots squelched as he picked his way through the fish on the deck to get back to his station and nodded for Jackie to restart the drum.
It was another twenty minutes before the last of the net was pulled aboard and they were able to clear away all the fish into the hold. Andy stuck his head in and smiled. In a single set, they’d filled three quarters of it, and they had more than enough fish for the gathering and to feed another ten to fifteen families besides. The spouts and the clicks of J-Pod hanging around the boat, however, told Andy that they wanted their reef back and were still hungry.
Andy ordered them to prep the net for another set and helmed his boat again, only to bomb out in a straight line and let J-Pod take care of the fishing from that point on. Once they’d finished, Andy moved the boat out of the Orcas’ way and stood outside the cabin with Jackie while the three aliens crowded the bow, watching and recording the whales going to work a second time.
“Ok, I think we might get a moment to talk,” Andy muttered to Jackie in Salishian. “New orders from the Council. There’s going to be a raid.”
Jackie sucked in a breath and looked at him, all levity gone. “Cambrians, Militia, or the Dummy Bunnies?”
“Militia and the Interior.”
Jackie whistled softly in surprise as her eyebrows shot up. “Really poking the bear, cuz… When and where?”
“Uncle Willy wants us to hit the Militia Supply Depot out by Tanner on Saturday,” Andy growled quietly as he watched Kalai pointing to Grammie Slick’s dorsal as she swam out on the picket around the net.
“You mean the one close to the Snoqualmish?”
“Yeah. Full raid, we’re to hit it and take any supplies, especially military, that we can and destroy what we can’t. The messier we can make it the better. We’ll meet up with the Resistance on the old Bessemer Logging road by Hancock Creek and they get half for taking the credit. Me and Chuck’ve been assigned to ‘lead’ you.” Andy nodded and tried to flick some of the fish scales off himself, but got nowhere.
Jackie sat down on the rail with a groan before looking back up at him with a smirk. “You mean babysit on overwatch while we do the real work.”
Andy pursed his numb lips together and considered the ramifications of folding his arms on the jellyfish burns that had started to go quiet thanks to the Motrin. “Grandma and the Council want me to ‘get my hands dirty.’” He gritted his teeth in frustration.
“What? I’m sorry, that sentence made zero sense.” Jackie shook her head like she’d just been slapped.
Andy couldn’t keep the frustration and anger out of his tone when he spoke. “Apparently there are doubts about my loyalty to the tribe and whether or not I’ve lost my way.”
Jackie huffed in amusement. “Everyone knows the Council’s fucking stupid, but this is a new level of dumb. You got us land back, you got them to allow you to break the rules to feed our people, they’re fixing the fuck ups on our waterways because of you and they think you’ve gone to the dark side?” Jackie started laughing at the nonsense of the politics.
“Last time we talked, you thought I was playing with fire and-” Andy started to throw back at her before she snorted loudly.
“Results talk, cuz. Three of our Hatcheries returned, and my whole family drawing good money in Imperial Credits? Fuck, even if you had sold out, we need more Clan Heads doing the same thing.” She smiled as she nodded towards their guests on the bow.
“They still don’t trust that I know what I’m doing,” Andy growled as he folded his arms unconsciously and immediately regretted it.
Jackie snorted. “Of course they don’t. You didn’t talk to them or get their permission first. Hell, I’m surprised your grandma didn’t chuck you out on your ear for even suggesting that you should work for the dummy bunnies.” Jackie stretched and hopped up and around Andy to grab a water bottle. “But it’s working out. There’s land being returned, money in our hands, and food about to be on our table. You’re doin’ what a Chief is supposed to do.”
Andy scoffed and started to object. “I’m no Chief-”
Jackie gave his shoulder a slap and grinned evilly as a starburst of pain and burning cut through the painkillers, shutting Andy up mid-protest. “You keep saying you aren’t, but that don’t make it true.” She resumed her seat as Andy fought the yowl of pain back so as not to give her the satisfaction. “I mean, case in point, what are you going to do with all these fish Grammie’s catching for us right now?”
Andy blinked a few times as he regained his composure and thought seriously about his answer. “We’ll pull fifteen for the gathering they got invited to… Then all the fish you can pack into the truck goes to the Exiles. The rest? I’ll call Chuck and get some folks from the Council to claim the rest and distribute it to the families that need it.”
Jackie deepened her voice and adopted a cowboy drawl. “He never eats until he sees the pots are full of meat in the lodges of the widows and orphans-”
“That’s Comanche Law, not Salish, and that’s from a John Wayne movie, you ass.” Andy huffed and Jackie giggled wickedly, flipped him off.
“Still haven’t refuted my point, cuz.” Jackie’s singsong voice caused Andy to glare spitefully at her, until she raised her hands defensively. “Alright, you’re not a Chief. So, Not Chief Tsu’titsi’uqw; you need to get your hands dirty and lead a raid. I’ll scrape up what we need and scout the target. You just meet up with us Saturday night at the Snoqualmish Casino and I’ll put a gun in your hands. Don’t worry, we’ll only get dirty enough to make the Council happy.”
“I’ll be a bit late; I’m escorting them to the Hwatcom Family Gathering on Friday.” Andy took a step back as Jackie stood up and twisted a bit to stretch out.
“No surprise there, grandpa’s an old school traditional Indian. They’re dummies, but they’re trying to do right by us, finally. Again, thanks to you, Chie-” Andy slapped the back of her head hard and growled at her, but she just started laughing, making him even madder.
“Alright, enough. Let’s get on the bow and not look like we’re sketchy Indians plotting to attack an Imperial fort.” Andy snarled, shoving her past him while she just kept laughing.
Andy stomped forward, aware of the wet sounds his boots made as he walked. Kalai turned and smiled at him as he moved to stand beside her and her father. “So how are they doing out there?”
“They just started their attack. This is fascinating! Their coordination, their ingenuity, and adaptation to human activity is astounding! I wish I had brought observation drones!” Sakalbi was glued to the binoculars and holding her omnipad up while she muttered observations into the speaker. Andy was content to watch as the pod put on a repeat performance and the net sagged again until they all came up and started swimming lazily around the net and the boat. All of them except Butterball and one of his older brothers. The two seemed to be getting into a jumping contest.
“He’s feeling a bit hyper. Must be nice to be full,” Jackie commented as the two whales took turns jumping out of the water and twisting in the air. Andy smiled and nodded and felt a hand go to his shoulder. He looked down and saw it was Kalai making eyes at him. Andy hid the grimace at the burn and gave her a wink.
“That one’s getting closer, should we be concerned?” Andy looked over at Dr. He’osforos and Kalai quickly moved her hand as they watched Butterball getting closer and closer with each jump.
Jackie hopped up and straddled the railing as Andy and Kalai shared a concerned look. Jackie hooked a hand around one of the roller horns and peered down into the water. “I don’t think so, I mean he knows we’re-”
The sudden appearance of a flying adolescent Orca only a scant few feet away from the boat right next to the lot of them cut Jackie off. Most of them only had enough time to watch the little playful bastard hang in the air for a moment before he twisted to almost shoulder punch the water as he came back down. Andy had just enough presence of mind to pull Kalai and her father down, and braced himself as the plume of water rose from where Butterball landed.
“Oh shi-” Andy heard Jackie say before water cascaded down on them and drenched them all, sending the boat rocking violently.
It took a moment for Andy to recover and he helped the two Shil back to their feet. “Quick check, is everyone alright?”
“HEY! WHAT THE HELL, BUTTERBALL! GRAMMIE! YOU HAVE A TALK WITH YOUR GRANDSON! HE’S GONNA GET SOMEONE KILLED ONE OF THESE DAYS!” Jackie screamed at the water, shaking her fist.
A camera shutter sounded and a dripping wet Mrs. Vaida stood, wide eyed in fear, staring out over the water.
Andy started laughing at the sight of his boss soaked to the bone, her hair and her fur a dripping mess. “That picture right there? You can title it: ‘Angry Native Woman Yells at Whale.’”
Kalai looked like she was on Krek’s doorstep. Akil’eas knelt next to her as he finished his examination and was looking over the readings on his omnipad. His daughter sat in front of the cabin on the little step, legs splayed out in front of her while she leaned against the railing on the side of the boat. Her father stood next to her as he finished a quick check of her vitals and her viral load.
“Unsurprisingly, you’re a bit elevated, but given your numbers over the last week, that’s saying that you’ve come back up to your normal levels.” Akil’eas had been worried. When they’d hauled in the net the second time, Kalai had stayed on the bow with the boy, Andy, while Akil’eas’d stood over the human woman’s shoulder and studied the controls.
Akil’ieas had also pitched in and helped fill the hold, but when he and Sakalbi could no longer stuff them in, they’d given up and stood out of the way. His old friend and colleague had spent the rest of the time recording, either the large predators that continued to circle and play around the boat, or the seemingly inefficient fishing practice of Andy and his people. No wonder he was so big, and his brother had been that strong. It beggared belief that their people worked at that backbreaking pace for so long, but there Andy stood, proud and tall at the end of it, while he and Sakalbi struggled to stay standing.
Akil’eas had to focus on keeping his hands from shaking and retrieved another water bottle for his exhausted daughter. Andy had them moving at a slow pace back towards a different harbor from the one they’d left that morning. They’d stopped briefly at the pier they’d started from to allow Jackie to disembark. The two humans packed all the fish that couldn’t fit in the hold up to Jackie’s truck and filled the bed of it without any help. She drove off with close to a hundred fish.
Now with the deck cleared, Andy told them they were on their way to the harbor most of his Band used. The trip had been slower going than the morning had been, but only because they were riding much lower in the water than they had been.
“King Triton’s farewell,” Kalai muttered looking up. Akil’eas followed his daughter’s gaze up to see a flock of white and gray seabirds calling out loudly as they kept pace with the boat as it headed towards the docks.
“It means work’s almost over. It’s a great sound, isn’t it?” Andy called out from the cabin where he sat at the helm.
Kalai shifted herself with great effort to look around the door to the cabin. “It sounds amazing.”
The smile Andy gave Kalai caused Akil’eas to have a pang of fatherly protectiveness, and only fatigue kept the scowl off his face. “Just wait, we’ll clean a few once we’ve off-loaded to the families. Fresh salmon tonight for everyone, and I’m cooking! Doc, we’d love to have you, too.”
“I’d love to but-”
Kalai grabbed his arm and stopped him. “Trust me, Papa, you don’t want to miss it.”
Akil’eas chewed his tongue for a moment, looking from Andy to Kalai. Sakalbi caught his eye and nodded emphatically. “Alright, if you’ll allow me to help. You must be exhausted.”
Andy beamed at Akil’eas, “You won’t hear me turn down free help.”
“Vaascon fellas don’t have no frills, Haul away, haul away! They’re plain and skinny as a lodthfish gill, And we’re bound away for Vaasconia!”
Kalai sat back and started singing between sips of water. Akil’eas sat down next to her and joined in the chorus for a Vaascon sailing song. It was strange to think that these humans also sang to their sea gods to placate them and coordinate the work. What else could you expect from a sailorman? Some things call to the soul across time and evidently even the gulf space and peoples.
“So heave him up my Turry Turry girls, Haul away, haul away! Heave him up and let the sails unfurl! And we’re bound away for Vaasconia!”
Andy’s voice joining in on the chorus startled Akil’eas and Kalai and they both turned to look back at him.
He gave them another wide grin, “I started learning some of the sail songs after Kalai told me about sailing on Shil.”
“Akil’eas, a word?” Sakalbi motioned with her head towards the bow and offered him a hand up. He followed her to the bow, leaving the two children singing together.
The harbor mouth was coming up fast, and between the noise of the engine and the net drum keeping them out of sight, there was some privacy. “I’ve heard some rumors about your feelings toward humans…” Sakalbi leaned against the railing, giving him the look that every teacher and professor had when questioning a belligerent student. When Akil’eas didn’t answer her, save to throw her back his own look, she continued. “Kalai is quite taken with Andy. It’s been quite a refreshing thing to see her come out of her shell.”
“It’s a vacation romance, nothing more.” Akil’eas felt his stomach clench and couldn’t stop himself from looking back.
“I don’t think so, Akil’eas. This is the first time I’ve seen her so on thorns and thistles around anyone, much less a male. She’s been very keen around him.” The smile she gave him was a bit galling, but he had to admit, he didn’t really know Kalai as well as Sakalbi and her spouses.
“He is… I’m sure he is a very nice young man, but as a fit consort for a soon to be Duchess? No, and I’ve yet to meet a human that is.” The thought of a human becoming the next Duke He’osforos was absurd. Sure there had been the occasional non-Shil Kho-liebhaberin or even the one Duke Aurar’ian He’osforos who was a Triki, but a human? “They’re far too individualistic and self centered to rise to the responsibilities of the Peerage.”
“That’s not exactly as large a sample size as you think it is, Leas. If you had Andy in your class, or on your crew, disregarding the fact that he’s human, what would your read on him be?”
Akil’eas locked his jaw and pursed his lips, defiantly. “I don’t know.”
“Come on, Leas, you’re better than me at reading people, and I’m damn good at it.” He hated how Sakalbi’s eyes flashed and her right ear would twitch when she thought she had the upper hand in an argument. He huffed a sigh and decided to play her little game, just to humor her enough so that she’d drop the subject.
“Dependable, fastidious and competent, judging by the state of his equipment and his boat. Self sacrificing, diligent, hard working, given what I’ve observed today. He’s got a temper, but it takes a bit to get there, and he’s carrying some pretty heavy emotional scars.” He’d not seen very much of Andy, but the old Sailing Master and Professor in him started to come out and assess the boy just as he would any of his students or junior sailors.
“That’s my read, too. Doesn’t sound so individualistic and self-centered to me. Blighted Nature, Leas, from what I’ve learned about him and his people, he broke with several of their traditions and customs to help us. He’s stuck his neck out far further for us than we would have for him and his people, for no other reason than to try and save his homeland. Were he an Erbian on Myr or even back home in Vaasconia, there’d be Groom-War over his hand.”
Akil’eas was a bit piqued about her statement, “What about your daughter? Kalai made no secret about little Sitry mooning after him, and her disapproval of their courtship.”
“She thinks she’s in love, and it very well might be that she is, but Kalai’s disapproval should tell you what it tells me, given your own rather astute assessment of the man.”
“HEY DOC! TAKE THE WHEEL, I GOTTA DRUM US IN!” Andy’s voice cut their conversation short as Akil’eas turned to look back around the drum. Andy waved him back as he slowed their approach to come in. “Take us to Dock 5, straight back and to port.”
“Straight back and to larboard, aye!” Akil’eas rattled off as he traded places with Andy at the helm.
Kalai heaved herself up to stand as Andy grabbed a large leather circle and ran forward to jump up on the bow. As Akil’eas piloted the boat into the harbor and made the turn, he saw a large crowd of humans gathered on the pier and the shore. As soon as they were in sight, he watched as Andy, standing tall, began to drum a beat and vocalize, projecting his voice over the water to those on shore. Akil’eas sputtered a bit in surprise as he guided the boat slowly towards the open mooring.
“That’s their call. His family’s song lets the people on shore know who he is and that he’s friendly.” Kalai looked back at Akil’eas before moving inside the cabin to stand next to her father. “All the families know it, but only he is allowed to sing it. It’s their version of a family crest and coat of arms. Elder Hwatcom taught us about those. There’ll be a reply in a second granting us permission to come ashore.”
There was indeed a response of drumming and singing from the assembly of humans as many started to crowd forward carrying what appeared to be coolers. Andy reappeared and took the controls back and reversed to kill their forward momentum as Sakalbi threw out their mooring lines to the waiting humans. Andy killed the engine and moved quickly out of the cabin to speak in a language that Akil’eas did not recognize. There seemed to be a bit of confusion from those gathered on the dock, but Andy opened the hatch to show the hold full of fish.
“Don’t thank me, thank them. Sockeye and Kings to all comers, courtesy of the Vaidas and the Vaida Warren!” Andy shouted happily in Vatikre as he pulled two giant fish out by their gills and handed them off to the applauding humans.
Sakalbi managed to shoot Akil’eas a smug look before she plunged her hands into the mass of fish and began helping Andy hand them out to the people.
First:
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Possible Late Post Due to Vacation. I will try to post on time, but it may be as late as 6/12/23

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Seattle’s 2023 class represents the second half of a draft-based reload which began last year, after the Seahawks finally admitted they were suffocating Russell Wilson and traded him to Denver so that he could fulfill his destiny. We were left with an unevenly-talented but surprisingly feisty roster which outperformed expectations all the way into the playoffs.
Our front office has been candid about some of its past mistakes in the draft, the most glaring of which have come when the team goes for need over talent. Last year, with the first half of our extra draft picks, we focused on acquiring as much talent as possible, rather than trying to address specific holes. The 2023 draft is very similar in that regard. In free agency, the team was restrained but practical, and added a few mid-range players to ensure a baseline of competency at the most problematic positions. This allowed them even more flexibility and leeway to be aggressive about drafting for talent.
What Seattle wants to be in 2023: I believe that Seattle would have loved to take Anthony Richardson, but the price to trade up was clearly too high. BUT - this is also a testament to the faith that they have in Geno Smith. They were not going to give up multiple first round picks when they think that Geno’s ceiling includes the potential for a Super Bowl run. I believe that is how the front office is looking at this team: They have a boatload of high draft picks over the last two years, which means an unusual number of blue chip prospects on cheap contracts. They also have a QB who has far outplayed his expectations, and if he can continue playing to even a similar level in 2023, will be outplaying his updated contract as well. I do think that Seattle has tried to take the burden off of Geno with the way that they drafted - but again, this has always been Pete Carroll’s philosophy. Pete Carroll doesn’t want the team to live or die on the arm of the quarterback. So, Seattle drafted to make every other part of the roster stronger and more competitive.
THE DRAFT
1.05) Devon Witherspoon - CB, Illinois
While I haven’t made much of Seattle’s needs, it’s obvious to anyone who watches the Seahawks that the defense needs dramatic improvement for this team to reach the next level. Tariq Woolen was a huge surprise as a rookie and a breakout star at right cornerback, but Seattle lacked an obvious answer on the opposite side. Devon Witherspoon is a true tone-setter for the defense as well as the perfect complement to Tariq at left cornerback. Where Tariq is supremely long, fast and fluid, Devon Witherspoon is smaller but more in-your-face. He’s violent, which is an unusual as well as a very exciting trait to list among the first attributes of a cornerback. The speed at which he triggers and the force with which he strikes ballcarriers are special for the position, and that physicality is especially welcome on the left side where he’ll be playing. But he’s also an adept cover man who posted great ball production in college (3 picks and 14 passes broken up in 2022), and for as much as his hitting pops off the screen, it’s actually his mental game which is most exciting of all.
He is one of those players who always seems to know what is happening before anyone else does - it looks like he’s guessing, but when he’s consistently right, over and over, it becomes apparent that he has a truly unusual aptitude for reading the game. That’s not just my own opinion, either - in Pete Carroll’s own words: “His make-up … how he approaches the game, the way he sees his opportunities and stuff. I’ve always held Troy in high regard in that. (Devon Witherspoon) is the closest I’ve come to that, someone talking and acting and performing like that … We’ve not seen a guy like this.”
1.20) Jaxon Smith-Njigba - WR, Ohio State
Tyler Lockett is 30, and going into his age-31 season. People talk about his upcoming cap hit, but he’s still nearly un-cuttable until 2025 due to dead money. Is a trade possible? Maybe, but that somehow feels unlikely. Does the team know that Tyler plans to retire relatively soon? It’s plausible - he does already have a fairly successful side gig going as a realtor. But where I’m actually going with this is … Seattle really needed a 3rd wide receiver even if the whole gang stays together. Dee Eskridge was meant to be that guy a couple of years ago, and it just hasn’t happened. JSN is on another level as a prospect, and by taking over the slot, allows DK and Tyler more freedom to attack the deep third of the field. I think we’ll see all three of them lined up in every position over the course of the season, but the way that JSN is able to attack the short and middle areas with body positioning and quick separation will potentially change the way our whole passing game works - even if he only logs, say, 50 or 60 catches. I’d be really happy with that from him in year 1.
It’s worth mentioning as well - our current OC (who some speculate could be our HC-in-waiting) is Shane Waldron, who was with the Rams as they unlocked the 90+ catch potential of Robert Woods and Cooper Kupp. JSN has the exact attributes to thrive in that kind of scheme - lots of digs, crosses, and pop routes off of play action - probably even more so than DK or Tyler. So even if he doesn’t go huge in year 1, this feels like a slam dunk pick for the future of this offense.
2.37) Derick Hall - EDGE, Auburn
Similar to Devon Witherspoon, Derick Hall is violent. The Seahawks defense has distinctly lacked a certain intimidation factor over the last few years, and Hall is another attempt to rectify that. There were some split opinions on Hall, but there are some indications that the Seahawks had Hall rated as a first-round talent on their big board. He’s not a refined rusher, but he’s very well-built and physical, and meets blockers with speed, aggression, and power.
Oftentimes we see elite athletes at the EDGE position we assume that they’ll be finesse players, but Hall is the opposite: while he’s squatty (a shade under 6’3” and 255) and very long (34” arms), he also boasts a 93rd percentile broad and 94th percentile 40 yard dash: he’s not trying to beat you around the corner, he’s a freight train with a dragster’s throttle and he’s going to hit you at full speed. He joins an already-young and talented group of EDGE defenders that includes stud free agent signing Uchenna Nwosu and two other recent 2nd-rounders in Darrell Taylor and Boye Mafe. Especially with EDGE rushers, it’s great to have a rotation. You love having a deep group that keeps each other fresh and allows you the flexibility to adapt to situations or matchups. Taylor and Mafe bring more of the typical bend and burst you expect from athletic EDGE players, and Hall’s power and violence is a welcome addition to the mix.
2.52) Zach Charbonnet - RB, UCLA
While fantasy football nerds everywhere donned black to mourn the wasted futures of both Ken Walker III and Zach Charbonnet, I chuckled to myself. There’s quite a lot of detail on this situation in that link, but the basic upshot is this: Seattle’s front office had Zach Charbonnet very high on their draft board. He was in consideration as early as pick 37, where they took Derick Hall. Our running game didn’t work very well last year when KWIII was injured, and they want to make sure that doesn’t happen again. But furthermore, even while KWIII was one of the most explosive running backs in the league as a rookie, he was also inconsistent. He ripped off a bunch of big runs, but there were a lot of others where he left meat on the bone.
I’m not suggesting that the rookie version of KWIII is his ceiling, but there was more room for improvement than I think is appreciated by a lot of people who don’t watch the Seahawks. Charbonnet doesn’t have the same breakaway ability, but on a run-to-run basis, he appears to be more consistent at getting 3 or 4 yards in the kinds of spots where KWIII was getting 1 or 2. Pete Carroll really wants a consistent run game, and if KWIII isn’t delivering that, he might just turn out to be the most exciting 1B in the league. Or maybe he’ll really take ownership of the 1A role and this situation looks a bit like the best of Nick Chubb and Kareem Hunt for the next 3 years. Bottom line: Charbonnet provides high-end depth to a position that has really struggled with injuries in recent years while also offering more potential as a pass blocker, more skill as a receiver, and more consistency and physicality as a ballcarrier. It’ll be really interesting to see how that shakes out in the touch ratios, but it’s not out of the realm of possibility that Charbonnet comes in and takes the priority spot on the depth chart. Pete Carroll indicates that he and Ken Walker will just have to battle it out.
4.108) Anthony Bradford - OG, LSU
While Seattle managed to nab not one but two starting offensive tackles in last year’s draft, the interior offensive line continued to be a mixed bag. Damien Lewis is entering the 4th year of his rookie contract and has been a little up-and-down since moving from RG to LG after a very good rookie season, and RG Gabe Jackson is currently a free agent. One of Seattle’s only notable FA signings was Detroit’s OC/G Evan Brown, whose 1-year deal gave us a veteran baseline at both C and G going into the draft. They've also got Phil Haynes, a 4th round pick himself from 2019 who's never secured a starting role but has shown some ability when given the opportunity. Anthony Bradford will be expected to compete with both of them for the RG spot in 2023 and hopefully be ready to take over by 2024.
Bradford is another tone-setter. His agility is average, but his combination of bulk and power is high-end - he’s 330 pounds and put up 34 bench reps while still testing in the top 25% of all interior linemen for his jumps and sprints. This pick is another demonstration of Seattle’s priorities: they want to play a physical brand of football on both sides of the ball. There’s a simplicity to this pick, summarized neatly by an anonymous offensive line coach at the bottom of of his NFL.com prospect profile: “I’ll take size and power all day over finesse guards who can move but don’t have any pop to them.”
It’s worth noting that Seattle picked here because Denver gave up their 2024 3rd round pick to swap 4.108 for pick 3.83. It seems relatively likely that 2024 pick is higher than 3.83, which in turn sort of makes this feel like a free 4th rounder. (Why does Denver want us to have so much of their draft capital?)
4.123) Cameron Young - DT, Mississippi State
One of Seattle’s biggest needs was interior defensive line, and this feels like one of the most obvious ‘need’ picks of the draft - though it’s telling that it doesn’t feel like Seattle specifically targeted a need until the middle rounds.
Cam Young isn’t a dynamic pass rusher, but he’s well-built for the interior and has very, very long arms (34.5”). He’s got a good anchor and combined with that length, gives us a viable player at nose tackle. He doesn’t have to be flashy to be an early contributor on the interior rotation, and by day 3 any consistent contribution feels like great value for any pick.
5.151) Mike Morris - DL, Michigan
Mike Morris is an interesting pick because he’s likely to play a different position for us than he played at Michigan, where he often played from a 2-point stance. He’s most likely going to be a 5-tech for us (a base end in 3-4/hybrid looks), because while he’s athletic - in the sense that he moves very well, shows decent balance, and has good hand-eye coordination - he’s not really explosive or twitchy enough to drop back into coverage or challenge offensive tackles with speed.
But he’s also huge. He’s over 6’5”, weighed 275 at the combine and will play around 290 for Seattle. Pete Carroll has indicated that he’ll play a similar role to Dre’Mont Jones and Jarran Reed, who are both 300-lb defensive ends in our scheme. Similarly to Young, a lack of depth in the rotation opens the possibility for early snaps.
5.154) Olusegun Oluwatimi - OC, Michigan
Now, he’s a pick that got a number of people pretty excited. I was personally a little bit surprised that they took Mike Morris ahead of “Olu Olu,” as center was both a bigger need than 5-tech, and Olu Olu was also widely regarded as a better prospect. But not only was Olu Olu regarded as a better prospect - many people thought that he could go as early as the 3rd or 4th round. PFF loves him, the Senior Bowl’s Jim Nagy loves him, and so did CFB’s awards - in 2022 he won both the Rimington Award as the nations best center as well as the Outland Trophy as the nation’s best interior lineman.
How did he slip to the 5th round? When you look at his scouting reports, you see terms like ‘functional athleticism’ and ‘adequate agility.’ We don’t have agility numbers for him, so it may well be that he simply knows his strengths - and that said, he does have some physical advantages. He’s about 310, which is on the larger side for a center, pretty good length, and also shows some legitimate explosiveness and power with his jumps and bench. But beyond that, he was a 4-year starter at Michigan who has loads of experience against top competition and a wide variety of defensive schemes. He’s smart. He can make all the calls, he knows where to be, and a center play goes a long way when a guy is in the right place at the right time while bringing plenty of power with him. Like Anthony Bradford, Olu will be challenging Evan Brown for an immediate role on the interior line. There’s guarantee, but there is a real chance this is our starting center for the next several years - and for a 5th round pick, just the legitimacy of that possibility represents a tremendous value.
6.198) Jerrick Reed II - S/DB, New Mexico
Not many people know who Jerrick Reed is, and that’s ok - he’s used to it. An undersized defensive back at 5’9” 196, Reed has done nothing but produce from high school, to community college, and eventually to a D-I scholarship to New Mexico State where he started for all 4 years. This continues a trend: the Seahawks again have taken a smart, tough player with lots of starting experience, who is a very hard worker, and who loves and understands the game. That will be important for a late-round pick trying to make the team, but the path to playing time might be shorter than you’d think.
When Seattle signed Julian Love in free agency, there were questions about what that meant for Quandre Diggs and Jamal Adams. Apparently, per Pete Carroll, it doesn’t mean anything - they intend to play a lot of 3-safety looks. It’s worth noting that this is something they were already doing at the beginning of last year, before Jamal Adams got injured (again). If this defense is playing with 3 safeties much of the time - which is made even more likely by the lack of depth and talent at off-ball linebacker - then a 4th or 5th safety is much closer than usual to being an immediate backup. Reed’s not going to get any looks on the outside, but he can legitimately back up the free safety, strong safety, and nickel positions. He also has a ton of experience on special teams, and the ability to fill 4 or more different roles on a squad is exactly the kind of thing that makes depth guys stick to final rosters.
7.237) Kenny McIntosh - RB, Georgia
Similar to Olu Olu, Kenny McIntosh is a player who many people thought could go much earlier than he did. The problem with Kenny McIntosh - in my opinion - is simply that he had a very worrying series of predraft measurements. He seemingly dropped weight to run at the combine, but only managed a 4.63 at 204 lbs. He was back up to 216 for Georgia’s pro day, but again only managed a 4.66 along with some other mediocre-to-poor numbers. Teams seemed more interested in other more-explosive backs, or runners with better resumes as pure ballcarriers.
But at this point in the draft, that lack of interest became Seattle’s gain. Because in Seattle, Kenny McIntosh is not only going to be allowed to play to his strengths - he’s going to be expected to, because there’s a specific role on this team for a player exactly like him. One of the Seahawks most underrated losses this offseason was running back Travis Homer. It wouldn’t surprise me if most people don’t know who he is, but he had a definite role as a third-down back in addition to special teams duties. Like Jerrick Reed, it will definitely help McIntosh’s case for a roster spot if he can prove his worth on special teams. But he may not have to. Travis Homer was not a particularly good ballcarrier. He was small - also around 205 - wasn’t creative, wasn’t powerful, wasn’t especially fast or twitchy. But he was a tremendous pass blocker and a serviceable receiver, and those two things earned him about a quarter of all offensive snaps (484) in games he played in over the last 3 seasons. If that seems high, that’s because it is - especially for a running back who only touched the ball 106 times in that span. Compare that to DeeJay Dallas, who had about half-again as many touches on a similar number of snaps.
While Ken Walker III and Zach Charbonnet are going to be the running backs who the offense specifically tries to feed the ball, Kenny McIntosh could easily be the running back that the team wants on the field in the most obvious passing situations. Zach Charbonnet was also one of the most productive receivers among college running backs, but Kenny McIntosh is probably smoother and more refined as both a route runner and a receiver. McIntosh registered zero drops on 90 targets, posted a PFF grade over 90 as a receiver, and is also already a very reliable pass blocker. That means there’s already a role for him on the Seahawks, and KWIII and Charbs aren’t necessarily in his way - if anything, those guys might be battling for the 3rd-down snaps that Seattle’s coaches assume will go to McIntosh. Again, as with several of these other day three picks - this 7th rounder enters training camp with a great shot to take hold of an important role early on. He may only log 20 carries and 20 catches in the stat book over the course of the season, but it might also be on 150-200 snaps, and in important game situations. And if he’s able to keep KWIII and Charbs that much fresher, and especially if he’s just the best for those situations, once again that’s tremendous value for the back end of the draft.
I’m really excited for this draft class.
Go Hawks.

Posts in the series

• First: Here
• Second: Here
• Third: Here
• Fourth: Here (Unplanned)
• Fifth: Here
• Sixth: Here
• Seventh: Here
• Eighth: This

Brief recap

In the previous post, we continued our analysis with a second round of eliminations of more religions that cannot reasonably be from a judging and fair God. At this point, only the Abrahamic religions remain to be analyzed, which we will do below.
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The reason I wanted to analyze the Abrahamic religions together last is because they have many similarities. For one, they reference the same God and agree on many details: similar people, similar places, similar events and for the most part, even originated in the same region. In addition, two of them are the biggest religions in the world today, far ahead of all other religions in terms of adoption, nearly accounting for half of the people on the planet! The fact that they are spread out in time and that they reference each other, can at least in theory, represent a pattern of recurring communication. It's also possible that they're just copying from each others. Let's see!
The timeline of appearance of the Abrahamic religions from old to new is as follows:
Judaism

• Year of inception: 3500 years ago, approximately
• Location of inception: Middle East (Modern day Palestine)
• Messenger: Moses
• Referenced prophets: Adam, Noah, Abraham...

Christianity

• Year of inception: 2000 years ago, approximately
• Location of inception: Middle East (Modern day Palestine)
• Messenger: Jesus
• Referenced prophets: Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses & other prophets.

Islam

• Year of inception: 1400 years ago, approximately
• Location of inception: Middle East (Modern day Saudi Arabia)
• Messenger: Muhammad
• Referenced prophets: Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jesus & other prophets.

Druze

• Year of inception: 1000 years ago, approximately
• Location of inception: Middle East (Egypt)
• Messenger: Hamza Ibn Ali Ibn Ahmad
• Referenced prophets: Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Muhammad & other prophets.

Mormonism

• Year of inception: 200 years ago, approximately
• Location of inception: New York, United States of America
• Messenger: Joseph Smith
• Referenced prophets: Moses & Jesus. Does NOT reference Muhammad (Islam) nor Hamza (Druze)

Baha’i Faith

• Year of inception: 200 years ago, approximately
• Location of inception: Middle East (Modern day Iran)
• Messenger: Baháʼu'lláh
• Referenced prophets: Jesus, Muhammad, Buddha...

Can the Abrahamic religions be instances of communication from their common God? It’s possible, however some issues surface:

• Issue 1: The Druze faith stands out with its secretive nature as it is intentionally restricted. This not only opposes the intention of communication, but also contrasts with the other Abrahamic religions that are all open.
• Issue 2: Mormonism and Baha’i Faith both start nearly 200 years ago in different places while not being compatible with each other. They cannot be both instances of communication. One of them isn’t, or both aren’t.
• Issue 3: Mormonism doesn’t accept Islam nor Druze, while Baha’i Faith accepts all major religions, even Buddhism, which is incompatible with Judaism, Christianity and Islam.

Let’s keep the issues above in mind and apply the same criteria to the Abrahamic religions in the same way we did to all of the others. We will analyze them in the chronological order of their appearance.

Judaism

Let's analyze the message of Judaism.

• Criterion 1 (Living religion): PASS
• Criterion 2 (Warning of judgement): PASS. Judaism warns of judgment day and explains the conditions for success and failure. This makes it unsafe to dismiss! It's the first religion to pass this criteria.
• Criterion 3 (Universality): FAIL. While anyone can technically convert to Judaism, it seems like it was specifically destined for Hebrew people, who later became the Israelites. Many prophets after Moses were specific to the Israelites it seems. The beliefs themselves are universal, in that they don’t have anything in particular that caters to a specific group. Still, it seems restricted to the ethnic Jewish group.
• Criterion 4 (Past reference): PASS. Judaism references previous prophets of monotheism who were supposedly sent by the same God. Prophets like Noah and Abraham. This means that before Judaism came along, there were previous instances of communication, which is necessary for a judging and fair God.
• Criterion 5 (Alignment with reality): PASS. The idea that a God created everything and is testing humanity here on Earth is plausible and does align with the reality we are living. Almost all humans share a common life track: birth, weakness with need of care, strength and autonomy, weakness with need of care again, then death. Moreover, all humans have a certain level of free will. While no absolute free will of action exists, the free will to think and accept or reject ideas is guaranteed. This makes the judgment of such free will possible.

Now let's analyze Moses, the founder of Judaism.

• Criterion 1 (Impeccable social reputation): PASS. He was a leader to his people, the Hebrews. He saved them from the oppression they were living in under the Egyptians (1). He was known for his sense of justice and courage (2). Many of his stories are told in the Bible as well as in the Qur’an.
• Criterion 2 (Non-involvement rule): PASS. Moses is the first to pass this criterion. Every single founder of religion who was mentioned previously, was publicly involved with either an existing religion that served as a launch pad or had a profession or interest that prepared the terrain for their claim. Moses was raised by the Egyptians, but never adopted their religion, nor was he involved in any other religion that he publicly taught or engaged in. He also wasn’t known to have any profession where he produced thought or knowledge.
• Criterion 3 (Sudden self-produced life direction change): PASS. Moses killed an Egyptian who was mistreating one of his people. According to Britannica, Moses voluntarily killed the Egyptian after making sure that no one was looking (3). However, according to the Qur’an, Moses killed the Egyptian by accident after hitting him, and was instantly regretful asking God for forgiveness (4). Regardless of which version of the story is true, Moses fled because he feared for his life. Now here’s the sudden life direction change, he came back after a while by his own volition claiming to be sent by some God who was unknown to the Egyptians, then confronted the Pharaoh himself!!! No sane man would do such a thing! And not just that, he survived everything and won in the end!!!
• Criterion 4 (Complete devotion): PASS. Moses came back to a place where he feared for his life, put forward the exceptional claim that he was sent by a God he wasn't involved with when he left, confronted the ruler, and succeeded against incredible odds!
• Criterion 5 (Wide reach of message): PASS. The message of Moses had and still has a big influence on this very day! There probably aren’t many people in the world today who don’t know who Moses is, regardless of their beliefs. He is one of the most important prophets in many major religions. His legacy is still a part of the Bible as the Old Testament.

If there is a judging and fair God, Moses is highly likely to be one of his messengers. He passes all the criteria while explicitly making the claim of being sent by a God. If he was a fraud, he would have had an existing history of it, and he wouldn’t have dared to come back to a place where he killed someone and feared for his life, then challenge its ruler and win! If he was a deluded self-appointed leader to his people, that delusion would have been his demise. He would have been killed, as other religious founders have. Instead, he and his people, although an oppressed minority without any military power, were able to escape their oppressors and defeat them! This is impossible without some powerful external assistance.
One can reasonably claim that the story of Moses is just a myth that is made to look impressive. That would be fair, except it had more impact than what a myth can fathom. That being said, even if we accept that it’s all a myth, or at least a heavily augmented truth, it is still told by other Abrahamic prophets who happen to have had similar or more impact than Moses did. This makes his story as valid as theirs can be. So, let’s continue our analysis.
Sources:
(1) From Britannica: Moses... Hebrew prophet, teacher, and leader who, in the 13th century bce... delivered his people from Egyptian slavery...
(2) From Britannica: ...When he found an Egyptian taskmaster beating a Hebrew, probably to death, he could control his sense of justice no longer...
(3) From Britannica: ...After checking to make sure that no one was in sight, he killed the tough Egyptian overlord...
(4) From the Qur’an (translation): ˹One day˺ he entered the city unnoticed by its people. There he found two men fighting: one of his own people, and the other of his enemies. The man from his people called to him for help against his foe. So Moses punched him, causing his death. Moses cried, “This is from Satan’s handiwork. He is certainly a sworn, misleading enemy.” He pleaded, “My Lord! I have definitely wronged my soul, so forgive me.” So He forgave him, ˹for˺ He is indeed the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.

Christianity

Let's analyze the message of Christianity.

• Criterion 1 (Living religion): PASS
• Criterion 2 (Warning of judgement): PASS. It does warn of an upcoming judgment and details the conditions of success and failure. This makes it unsafe to dismiss.
• Criterion 3 (Universality): PASS. It is definitely universal. Anyone can be a Christian, and it’s easy to find Christians from different countries, different ethnicities speaking different languages. It doesn’t get as universal as this!
• Criterion 4 (Past reference): PASS. It references previous religions and prophets, like Noah, Abraham, Moses, and many others. All of them being sent by the same God.
• Criterion 5 (Alignment with reality): FAIL. Some concepts in Christianity don’t align with reality well. Christians view Jesus as the son of God, but also as a part of God. God being three different entities, but still one: God the father, the holy spirit and the son. A concept called the trinity. Christians believe that God sacrificed his son in order to absolve humans from their sins. This doesn’t quite make sense for many reasons:

1: If God sacrificed his son in order to absolve us of our sins, judgment wouldn’t make sense. Also, why does a God have a son? Mortals have children to continue the species and to provide for them when they grow weak. A God doesn’t need a son...

1. If God sacrificed his son, also a part of himself, it should have been the final act of life here on Earth. Instead, he let Muhammad come after and be so successful in reversing this idea, all while claiming to be sent by him!!! And what about the people who died a long time ago and never knew about this important sacrifice?
   
2. The idea that God is all-powerful, all-knowing and all-loving doesn’t stand for a judging God. It simply isn’t possible for him to have these 3 attributes at the same time. If he is all-knowing, then he knows that many humans will fail his judgment and be severely punished. Consequently, if he is also all-powerful, being all-loving would have him not resort to judgment and not punish anyone. Since he insists on judgment with a heaven and hell, then he isn’t all-loving. Muhammad also happens to correct this idea.
   
3. The conditions of success and failure in the upcoming judgment are not particularly fair. It’s not about what actions one does during their life, rather, it’s about accepting Jesus as savior. One can be the most ruthless killer, then just accept Jesus as savior in order to be absolved of all wrongdoing. Also, what about all the people who lived and died before Jesus was even born? They didn’t know Jesus; how can they accept him as savior? Haven’t they spent their lives following other rules? Isn’t that unfair to them?
   

Now let's analyze Jesus, the founder of Christianity.

• Criterion 1 (Impeccable social reputation): PASS. Jesus had a notoriously flawless social reputation and was known for his noble morals.
• Criterion 2 (Non-involvement rule): PASS. He was raised Jewish, however he wasn’t particularly involved in any public religious activity, nor did he engage in any activity that produced thought or knowledge. He was a carpenter by trade (1), until his mission started. After which, and this is critical, he was immediately at odds with the existing Jewish teachings to the point of being in danger!
• Criterion 3 (Sudden self-produced life direction change): PASS. He was known to be a carpenter, then he suddenly turned into an itinerant preacher at odds with the established teachings (2). If he had been publicly learning or teaching Judaism before his claim, he would have failed this criterion, as almost all others have. However, it’s not the case, and the transformation is self-produced and puzzling! How does a carpenter who isn’t involved with religious matters nor any knowledge or thought producing profession, suddenly become an itinerant preacher with enough difference to the established faith to become a threat and a target?
• Criterion 4 (Complete devotion): PASS. He died for his mission (the Christian version is in contrast with the Islamic version here). There is no better test of devotion. He also was at odds with the established Jewish religion, which made him a target. Most of the founders of religion that we have seen, never entered in conflict with the existing religions at the beginning, rather, they built upon them and benefited from their involvement with them.
• Criterion 5 (Wide reach of message): PASS. Christianity is the biggest religion today! Nearly 25% of humans are Christians, and the rest know or have heard of Jesus. Now this, is communication!!!

Similar to Moses, if there is a judging and fair God, Jesus is highly likely to be one of his messengers. His feat is even more impressive than that of Moses. His mission and success in correcting and complementing the existing Jewish faith against incredible odds, adds more credibility to his claim. Jesus changed the world and continues to do so today!
Sources:
(1) From Britannica: ...Joseph is said to have been a carpenter (Matthew 13:55)—that is, a craftsman who worked with his hands—and, according to Mark 6:3, Jesus also became a carpenter...
(2) From Britannica: ...As a young adult, he went to be baptized by the prophet John the Baptist and shortly thereafter became an itinerant preacher and healer (Mark 1:2–28). In his mid-30s Jesus had a short public career, lasting perhaps less than one year, during which he attracted considerable attention...

Islam

Let's analyze the message of Islam.

• Criterion 1 (Living religion): PASS
• Criterion 2 (Warning of judgement): PASS. Islam clearly warns of an upcoming judgment and details the conditions of success and failure. Consequently, it’s not safe to dismiss.
• Criterion 3 (Universality): PASS. Islam is universal. Anyone can be a Muslim, and it’s quite easy to find two Muslims who are from different countries, ethnicities and don’t share the same language. The yearly pilgrimage where millions of Muslims gather is proof to how diverse Muslims can be.
• Criterion 4 (Past reference): PASS. Islam references many past prophets (25 in total), including but not limited to: Adam, Noah, Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, David, Jacob, Jonas, Moses, Jesus... It clearly states that God has been communicating since the beginning out of fairness, so that people wouldn’t find any excuse when judgment comes!
• Criterion 5 (Alignment with reality): PASS. Islam insists on monotheism, and clearly reverses the trinity concept that has gotten into Christianity, as well as the idea that God is all-loving, on top of being all-knowing and all-powerful.

It aligns with reality well by describing reality as a test of free will. Life is neither the suffering Buddhism makes it out to be (which it isn’t), nor is it the joyous life Tenrikyo claims it should be (which again, isn’t). Every single human is continuously tested through good and bad. When it is something bad, it is their patience and acceptance that is tested. When it is something good, it is their capacity of being thankful and generous that is tested. Everyone’s life is a mix of good and bad. Exceptions exist and are accounted for.
Islam states that God has been sending prophets since the beginning in order to remind people that judgment is coming. It states that people who didn’t get the message will be tested again. Those who got the message of the prophet of their time, accepted it and followed its guidelines, shall pass the judgment. Those who rejected the message after receiving it clearly shall fail.
Now let's analyze Muhammad, the founder of Islam.

• Criterion 1 (Impeccable social reputation): PASS. Prior to his claim, Muhammad was highly regarded by his community and known for his trustworthiness (1).
• Criterion 2 (Non-involvement rule): PASS. Again here, Muhammad was not involved in the pagan polytheist religion of his community, even though it was popular, nor was he involved in any other religion. He was a successful merchant (2) and notoriously illiterate (3). He didn’t have any profession or interest that produced thought or knowledge.
• Criterion 3 (Sudden self-produced life direction change): PASS. Muhammad’s life changed drastically after he supposedly received revelation. The first contact shocked him greatly (4). After telling his wife what happened, she took him to her cousin who was knowledgeable about the Jewish faith. He told Muhammad that what happened to him was similar to Moses, and that a day will come when his community chases him away.
• Criterion 4 (Complete devotion): PASS. Muhammad suffered a lot for his claim and was under constant threat of death (5). He used to request to be guarded at night, however upon receiving revelation that God will protect him from people, he sent the guards away from that moment on (6). He was never harmed even while having many enemies who wanted to kill him.
• Criterion 5 (Wide reach of message): PASS. Muhammad, an illiterate person living in a remote desert, without any special means or skills, was able to spread his message everywhere, and he predicted it from the start (7). He created a civilization that would change the world in just 23 years. Like Christianity, Islam is found almost everywhere, and almost everyone has heard of him and his religion. It’s not by chance that the most popular male first name in the world today is “Muhammad” (8).

If a judging and fair God exists, Muhammad is highly likely to be one of his messengers. He was leading a normal and regular life in a polytheistic society for 40 years, then suddenly started preaching monotheism, suffering for it and even going to war for it.
Sources:
(1) From Wikipedia: ...Due to his upright character he acquired the nickname "al-Amin" (Arabic: الامين), meaning "faithful, trustworthy" and "al-Sadiq" meaning "truthful" and was sought out as an impartial arbitrator. His reputation attracted a proposal in 595 from Khadijah, a successful businesswoman. Muhammad consented to the marriage, which by all accounts was a happy one...
(2) From Wikipedia: ... It is known that he became a merchant and "was involved in trade between the Indian Ocean and the Mediterranean Sea...
(3) From Wikipedia: ... Because he could not read and write himself...
(4) From Wikipedia: ...Muhammad was deeply distressed upon receiving his first revelations. After returning home, Muhammad was consoled and reassured by Khadijah and her Christian [sic] cousin, Waraqah ibn Nawfal. He also feared that others would dismiss his claims as being possessed...
(5) From Wikipedia: ...Regardless, several attempts were made at Muhammad's life...
(6) From Qur’an. Aisha said: "The Prophet was being guarded until this verse وَاللَّهُ يَعْصِمُكَ مِنَ النَّاسِ (Allah will protect you from mankind) was revealed." She added; "The Prophet raised his head from the room and said; «يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ انْصَرِفُوا فَقَدْ عَصَمَنِي اللهُ عَزَّ وَجَل» (O people! Go away, for Allah will protect me)"
(7) From Sunnah: Miqdad reported that he heard God’s messenger say, “There will not remain on the face of the earth a mud-brick house or a camel’s hair tent which God will not cause the confession of Islam to enter bringing both mighty honour and abject abasement. God will either honour the occupants and put them among its adherents, or will humiliate them and they will be subject to it.” Miqdad said, “God will then receive complete obedience.”
(8) https://www.thebump.com/b/muhammad-baby-name

Druze

Let’s analyze the Druze faith!

• Criterion 1 (Living religion): FAIL. It’s not an extinct religion, but it is intentionally restricted and doesn’t accept conversions to it. How can this be a communication from a judging and fair God if the people being judged cannot have access to the material they need to succeed? If it stated that only a specific audience was targeted, that might have worked, but it doesn't say that, at least not when it started.
• Criterion 2 (Warning of judgement): PASS. Since Druze references other Abrahamic religions, I’m giving it a pass here, even though it’s not clear what the Druze actually believe.
• Criterion 3 (Universality): FAIL. It’s far from being universal. It doesn’t want to be, and it’s not.
• Criterion 4 (Past reference): PASS. It does reference other religions, even though it’s not clear in what capacity. Are the previous religions considered as previous instances of communication? Or does it complete its worldview with their knowledge? I’ll give it a pass.
• Criterion 5 (Alignment with reality): FAIL. Its closed nature makes it impossible for it to align with reality.

Now let's analyze Hamza Ibn Ali, the founder of Druze.

• Criterion 1 (Impeccable social reputation): FAIL. The Druze faith was named after Al-Darzi, who might have been either a disciple or a teacher of Hamza. A rivalry appeared between the two. Al-Darzi disputed the role of Hamza as the leader of the movement. They were both acquiring followers and engaged in regular brawls (1). So in summary, God supposedly sent Hamza as a messenger preaching that the current ruler was the embodiment of said God (If God is the embodiment of the ruler, why need Hamza at all?!!), then another man entered in competition with this messenger, who was also tolerated by the ruler, and even ended up giving his name to the movement, all the while the followers of each man fought each other. Then after said ruler was killed, the movement disappeared from its place of inception, but survived elsewhere and became a restricted religion. This doesn’t show anyone involved in a good light, especially not Hamza.
• Criterion 2 (Non-involvement rule): FAIL. There isn’t enough information about Hamza Ibn Ali before he entered Egypt in 1017. However, he fails the non-involvement rule, as he was appointed as a preacher in his own mosque before he started claiming that the reigning caliph was the embodiment of God (2). Rather convenient since that granted him support and favors (3).
• Criterion 3 (Sudden self-produced life direction change): FAIL. He supposedly received revelation, however that didn’t seem to cause any change in his life whatsoever. Receiving an unexpected contact from some God is supposed to cause a noticeable drastic change in one’s life, unless such revelation was expected or planned. Suffice it to say that he was already a preacher before supposedly receiving revelation.
• Criterion 4 (Complete devotion): PASS. Hamza definitely feared for his life but continued with his claim. He went into hiding, which seems a little bit cowardly for a prophet. In contrast, Moses came back to a place where he feared for his life, because he believed there was a God protecting him. The same happened with Muhammad who confidently sent guards away after revelation. However, since Hamza continued with his claim, considering this as a pass seems fair.
• Criterion 5 (Wide reach of message): FAIL. Hamza Ibn Ali failed to spread his message even though he initially set out to (4). If one is to say that the message couldn’t spread because of persecution, well, the same persecution occurred for Judaism, Christianity and Islam, and yet, these messages spread everywhere despite everything.

It’s extremely unlikely that the Druze faith is a communication from a judging and fair God. Its founder fails a combination of some important criteria.
Sources:
(1) From Wikipedia: ...Indeed, in his epistles, Hamza is critical of his colleague, both for al-Darzi's disputing Hamza's role as the leader of their movement, as well as for his followers' over-zealous, extremist and provocative actions, which revealed the movement's ideas prematurely and placed it under danger of attack... During this time, the followers of the rival leaders engaged in regular brawls in the streets of Cairo, cursing one another as infidels.
(2) From Britannica: ...Almost nothing is known of his life before he entered Egypt in 1017. He became a spokesman for the religious convictions of the Fāṭimid caliph al-Ḥākim (the Fāṭimids were the ruling dynasty in Egypt), who was already accorded the position of imām, a divinely appointed and authoritative spokesman for Islam...
(3) From Wikipedia: ...According to the medieval chroniclers, he too enjoyed signs of favour from al-Hakim: when he complained to the Caliph that his life was in danger, he was given weapons, which he demonstratively hung on every entrance to the Raydan Mosque...
(4) From Britannica: ...Considerable resistance to these doctrines appeared when they were first preached in 1017, and Ḥamzah went into hiding until 1019, when al-Ḥākim was able to move vigorously to support the new religious movement... Ḥamzah claimed to be representing not just another sect but rather an independent religion, one that superseded traditional Islam. Al-Ḥākim disappeared in mysterious circumstances in 1021, and, much persecuted, the Druze cult all but ceased to exist in Egypt...

Mormonism

Let’s analyze Mormonism:

• Criterion 1 (Living religion): PASS.
• Criterion 2 (Warning of judgement): PASS. Mormonism is built on top of Christianity and Judaism, to which it delegates a vast chunk of knowledge. Consequently, I’ll give it a pass here.
• Criterion 3 (Universality): FAIL. It is far from being universal. The largest community of Mormons is still in Utah, where they went after Smith was killed.
• Criterion 4 (Past reference): PASS. Mormonism references both Christianity and Judaism. This makes it pass this criterion, however, the fact that it doesn’t reference Islam is problematic for its worldview.
• Criterion 5 (Alignment with reality): FAIL. Being based on Christianity, Mormonism inherits some of the same issues. It corrects some, but also introduces some of its own. For example, Mormonism states that there are three separate divine entities, God the father, Jesus Christ and the holy spirit. They’re not three in one, as Christianity says. This doesn’t solve the issue of sacrificing one divine entity for the sins of humans while still judging them. It only adds complexity. Are these Gods equal? What if they don’t agree on something? This also goes against Judaism, which Mormonism references, and with Judaism comes the whole legacy of monotheism! Mormonism corrects the idea that salvation only depends on accepting Jesus as savior. It adds the fact that deeds play a role, which is fair.

Now let's analyze Joseph Smith, the founder of Mormonism.

• Criterion 1 (Impeccable social reputation): FAIL. Smith’s reputation was less than stellar (1). His treasure hunting profession isn’t exactly the most honest of professions. Also, eloping to marry his wife, attempting to marry already married women, escaping justice, dying in a shoot-out with the mob...
• Criterion 2 (Non-involvement rule): FAIL. He fails the non-involvement rule on many accounts. He was heavily involved with public religious activity and even magic, in a place and time where religious revivalism thrived (2).
• Criterion 3 (Sudden self-produced life direction change): FAIL. Supposedly receiving revelation in 1823 via the angel he called Moroni, didn’t surprise him, nor seemed to have much effect on his life direction. He continued treasure seeking using questionable methods and leading the same life.
• Criterion 4 (Complete devotion): PASS. Smith was extremely devoted to his cause. He never gave up until the end!
• Criterion 5 (Wide reach of message): FAIL. If Mormonism was God’s way to bring back Christianity to its rightful state, then the mission simply failed. It seems like Christianity enjoys far more universality than Mormonism. In this regard, Smith failed his mission, as most of the followers of the religion are still based where their ancestors ended up after the death of Smith.

Sources:
(1) From Wikipedia: ...Meanwhile, the Smith family faced financial hardship... Family members supplemented their meager farm income by hiring out for odd jobs and working as treasure seekers, a type of magical supernaturalism common during the period. Smith was said to have an ability to locate lost items by looking into a seer stone, which he also used in treasure hunting, including, beginning in 1825, several unsuccessful attempts to find buried treasure sponsored by Josiah Stowell, a wealthy farmer in Chenango County, New York. In 1826, Smith was brought before a Chenango County court for "glass-looking", or pretending to find lost treasure; Stowell's relatives accused Smith of tricking Stowell and faking an ability to perceive hidden treasure... Although Smith had abandoned treasure hunting, his former associates believed he had double crossed them and had taken the golden plates for himself, property they believed should be jointly shared. After they ransacked places where they believed the plates might be hidden, Smith decided to leave Palmyra
(2) From Wikipedia: The region was a hotbed of religious enthusiasm during the Second Great Awakening. Between 1817 and 1825, there were several camp meetings and revivals in the Palmyra area… Smith said that he became interested in religion by age 12… With other family members, Smith also engaged in religious folk magic, which was a relatively common practice in that time and place…

Baha'i Faith

• Criterion 1 (Living religion): PASS.
• Criterion 2 (Warning of judgement): UNKNOWN. Baha’i Faith claims to be a unification of all the major religions. The issue is that some of the religions it references speak of judgment, like Judaism, Christianity and Islam, while others don’t, like Buddhism and Hinduism. While Baha’i Faith speaks of a day of judgment, it doesn’t seem to view it in the same way. It speaks of deeds being judged, but not according to each religion’s standards, rather, according to Baha’i Faith’s standards, which I have failed to find after multiple searches. If the conditions of success and failure aren’t clear, the God of Baha’i Faith cannot possibly be fair. I’ll mark this as unknown, but it’s actually closer to a failure.
• Criterion 3 (Universality): FAIL. In theory, Baha’i Faith should be universal, as it calls for the unification of all the major religions. It attempts to please everyone, but even while doing so, its numbers remain low, and is mostly unknown.
• Criterion 4 (Past reference): FAIL. Baha’i Faith references all major religions, but not as past instances of communication. It essentially claims that there is only one religion, and that the major religions were manifestations of God, but don’t necessarily represent said unique religion correctly. It references all major religions only to change their core beliefs in order to achieve unification. Said another way, this One God, has left people to be duped by false religions since the start, and only thanks to Baháʼu'lláh in the 1800s, did he think to show the truth to people. What about those who died long before Baháʼu'lláh was even born, and who followed Buddhism for example without ever believing a God existed?
• Criterion 5 (Alignment with reality): FAIL. This is a big failure. Baha’i Faith doesn’t make much sense, to the point of being revolting, to me at least! It attempts to be everything to everyone. Its founder claims to be Christ returned for Christians, the second coming of Jesus for Sunni Muslims, the Imam Husayn for Shi’a Muslims, the reincarnation of Krishna for Hindus, and the fifth Buddha for Buddhists. Never mind what each one of these symbols means in the context of its own religion, it just takes the concept and runs with it. It disregards most of what is associated with these symbols, it only needs its acknowledged existence. Let’s not forget that most of these religions do not agree with each other! It attempts to reconcile worldviews that are incompatible with each other. It picks and chooses what it wants from each major religion and disregards the rest.

Now let's analyze Baháʼu'lláh, the founder of Baha'i Faith.

• Criterion 1 (Impeccable social reputation): PASS. Coming from a wealthy family, he was known to give considerable amounts of time and money to charity.
• Criterion 2 (Non-involvement rule): FAIL. The founder of Baha’i Faith, Baháʼu'lláh, as well as the founder of Bábism, Siyyid Ali Muhammad, known as the Báb, and who laid the foundation for Baha’i Faith, both fail the non-involvement rule. They were both heavily involved in public religious matters before and at the time of their claims (1) (2). We are not talking about regular religious people going about their day, then making an exceptional claim out of nowhere, no! It’s practically the same scenario every time: a person is deeply involved with religious matters, or actively pursuing a profession or an interest, which leads them either by opportunity or by delusion to their claim. It’s the same here!
• Criterion 3 (Sudden self-produced life direction change): FAIL. Baháʼu'lláh had already set the course of his life and was already deeply involved in religious matters before he supposedly received his first divine revelation, which was in prison. From then on, not much had changed.
• Criterion 4 (Complete devotion): PASS. He stood by his claim and spent most of his life in prison. It’s important to note though that he wasn’t initially imprisoned because of his claim. Rather, it was because of his involvement with Bábism.
• Criterion 5 (Wide reach of message): FAIL. If Baháʼu'lláh was sent by the one and only God in order to unify all major religions, such unification hasn’t happened successfully.

It's highly unlikely that Baha'i Faith is a communication from a judging and fair God.
Sources:
(1) From Wikipedia: Some of his earlier writings suggest that he did not enjoy the business and instead applied himself to the study of religious literature… He was constantly absorbed in his own thoughts, and was preoccupied with repetition of his prayers and verses… In 1841 the Báb went on pilgrimage to Iraq, and for seven months stayed mostly in and around Karbala. There he attended lectures of Kazim Rashti and became his follower… As of his death in December 1843, Kazim Rashti counseled his followers to leave their homes to seek the Mahdi, who, according to his prophecies, would soon appear. One of these followers, Mullá Husayn, after keeping vigil for 40 days in a mosque, traveled to Shiraz, where he met the Báb…
(2) From Wikipedia: Soon after declaring his spiritual mission to Mullá Husayn, the Báb sent him to Tehran to deliver a special tablet to one whom God would guide him to. After learning about Baháʼu'lláh through an acquaintance, Mullá Husayn felt compelled to arrange for Baháʼu'lláh to receive the tablet—this news brought great joy to the Báb when Mullá Husayn wrote to him about it…

Summary

After analyzing all the religions, the ones that are highly likely to be communications from a judging and fair God if one exists, are Judaism, Christianity and Islam. They are the only religions that satisfy most of the criteria. In fact, their founders are the ONLY ones who satisfy all the criteria, specifically the criterion of non-involvement prior to their claim of a contact with a God. All the other founders were involved in one way or another, making their claim a possible result of either fraud or delusion.
It is important to note though: we haven't proven that a judging and fair God exists, and we haven't proven that these religions are actually communications from him, not at all. All we did was to reasonably prove that if a judging and fair God exists, then Judaism, Christianity and Islam are highly likely to be communications from him.
In the next post, we will continue our research and see how we can reasonably prove that a judging and fair God exists.
Until next time!

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2023/06/02/trump-georgia-election-investigation-fulton-county/
An Atlanta-area investigation of alleged election interference by President Donald Trump and his allies has broadened to include activities in D.C. and several states, according to two people with knowledge of the probe — a fresh sign that prosecutors may be building a sprawling case under Georgia’s racketeering laws.
Fulton County District Attorney Fani T. Willis (D) launched an investigation more than two years ago to examine efforts by Trump and his allies to overturn his narrow 2020 defeat in Georgia. Along the way, she has signaled publicly that she may use Georgia’s Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations (RICO) statute to allege that these efforts amounted to a far-reaching criminal scheme.
In recent days, Willis has sought information related to the Trump campaign hiring two firms to find voter fraud across the United States and then burying their findings when they did not find it, allegations that reach beyond Georgia’s borders, said the two individuals, who spoke on the condition of anonymity to talk candidly about the investigation. At least one of the firms has been subpoenaed by Fulton County investigators.
Willis’s investigation is separate from the one at the Justice Department being led by special counsel Jack Smith, but the two probes have covered some of the same ground. Willis has said she plans to make a charging decision this summer, and she has indicated that such an announcement could come in early August. She has faced stiff criticism from Republicans for investigating the former president, and the ever-widening scope suggests just how ambitious her plans may be.
The state’s RICO statute is among the most expansive in the nation, allowing prosecutors to build racketeering cases around violations of both state and federal laws — and even activities in other states. If Willis does allege a multistate racketeering scheme with Trump at its center, the case could test the bounds of the controversial law and make history in the process. The statute calls for penalties of up to 20 years in prison.
“Georgia’s RICO statute is basically two specified criminal acts that have to be part of a pattern of behavior done with the same intent or to achieve a common result or that have distinguishing characteristics,” said John Malcolm, a former Atlanta-based federal prosecutor who is now a constitutional scholar at the conservative Heritage Foundation. “That’s it. It’s very broad. That doesn’t mean it’s appropriate to charge a former president, but that also doesn’t mean she can’t do it or won’t do it.”
Among Willis’s latest areas of scrutiny is the Trump campaign’s expenditure of more than $1 million on two firms to study whether electoral fraud occurred in the 2020 election, the two individuals said. The Post first reported earlier this year that the work was carried out in the final weeks of 2020, and that the campaign never released the findings because the firms, Simpatico Software Systems and Berkeley Research Group, disputed many of Trump’s theories and could not offer any proof that he was the rightful winner of the election.
In recent days, Willis’s office has asked both firms for information — not only about Georgia but about other states as well. Trump contested the 2020 election results in Georgia, Arizona, Michigan, Nevada, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin.
Ken Block, the CEO of Simpatico Software Systems, declined to comment on what he has turned over to investigators. A lawyer for the Berkeley Research Group also declined to comment. A spokesman for Willis declined to comment on the investigation. Lawyers for Trump also declined to comment.
It is unclear if Willis will seek indictments of people for alleged actions that occurred outside Georgia, such as those who participated in the Jan. 6, 2021, attack on the U.S. Capitol. RICO experts say it’s unlikely she will do so. But, these experts said, the law allows Willis to build a sweeping narrative of an alleged pattern of behavior to overturn the 2020 election, with Georgia as just one piece. Evidence and actions outside the state, such as Trump’s statements from Washington that inspired some of the rioters and the parallel efforts to overturn other states’ results, could be presented as additional evidence that helps establish that pattern.
“The Georgia statute is broadly written” to allow the inclusion of violations of federal law as well as some other states’ laws, said Morgan Cloud, a law professor at Emory University in Atlanta and expert on the state’s RICO law. “For example, acts to obstruct justice committed in Arizona might be relevant if the goal of the enterprise, of the racketeering activity, was to overturn the 2020 presidential election nationally, as well as in Georgia.”
Cloud added that prosecutors in Georgia must prove only that two racketeering crimes occurred under the state RICO statute, but that other facts could be used to explain the breadth of an alleged scheme.
An ambitious prosecution
Willis’s investigation has already come under scrutiny as a test of applying state criminal laws to actions that revolved around a federal election — and that in many instances resembled constitutionally protected speech. The probe has prompted a debate, even among those who believe Trump’s efforts were improper, as to whether prosecutors will be able to prove that Georgia crimes were committed.
Her potentially sweeping application of Georgia’s RICO statute could amplify those questions. RICO allows prosecutors to target leaders of alleged criminal enterprises who in previous generations eluded convictions. In Georgia, it can be applied to many patterns of activity that are crimes under state or federal law, such as dogfighting or drug dealing, obstruction or conspiracy — going far beyond its origins as a tool to fight organized crime.
Several legal experts said they expect Willis to home in on possible false statements by Trump and his allies to government officials — one of the crimes that can be prosecuted under Georgia’s RICO statute.
In 2015, Willis attracted national attention as a deputy district attorney by using RICO to prosecute a massive cheating scandal in Atlanta’s public schools that sent eight teachers and administrators to prison.
Prosecutors in Georgia have obtained RICO convictions where the pattern of racketeering activity included actions in other states. In one notable case, prosecutors in Richmond County got convictions for several men they accused of kidnapping a Sam’s Club manager in a robbery scheme in 1998, stuffing him into the trunk of a car, driving to South Carolina and killing him by setting the car on fire.
In the Trump case, Willis has said she is focused on the phone calls Trump made to multiple Georgia officials seeking to reverse his defeat, his campaign’s efforts to persuade the Georgia legislature to declare Trump the winner, the gathering of Trump’s electors to cast electoral college votes for Trump after Joe Biden had been declared the winner in the state, and the Trump campaign’s potential involvement in an unauthorized breach of election equipment in rural Coffee County, Ga.
Dozens of people participated in those efforts, according to reams of emails, texts and deposition transcripts from the House investigation into the Jan. 6 attack: Trump lawyers such as Rudy Giuliani, Jenna Ellis, Sidney Powell, Ray Smith and John Eastman; senior advisers including then-White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows; Jeffrey Clark, then a senior official at the Justice Department; and Georgia GOP leaders including the party chairman, David Shafer, and its then finance chairman, Shawn Still.
Multiple legal experts have said persuading a jury that those actions broke the law could prove difficult. The debate reflects the unprecedented nature of Trump’s attempt to overturn the 2020 election. While the effort immediately prompted calls to hold him and others criminally responsible, identifying laws that apply to such a scenario has proved challenging — and could help explain why Willis’s investigation is in its third year. That dynamic applies both to the Georgia investigation as well as the special counsel’s federal probe.
Most of those scrutinized in the Willis investigation have maintained that they did nothing wrong. They had every right to pursue claims of anomalies, many have said, particularly given how close Biden’s margin of victory was in Georgia, two-tenths of 1 percent.
“There’s not a single thing that I did in pursuit of election integrity that I have any regret or concern about,” Shafer said in a recent GOP address.
“It’s dangerous,” said Malcolm, the Heritage scholar, referring to the investigation in Georgia of contingent electors. “What you’re doing is tainting political activists who are trying to play a part in an election, who are trying to help their candidate, and all of a sudden you’re launching a criminal investigation.”
Norm Eisen, who served as special counsel to the House of Representatives’ first impeachment of Trump, over his pressure campaign with Ukraine, cautioned that it’s too soon to judge the investigation, but said he believes the overall case is a “strong one.”
“Either skepticism or belief is premature because we are not privy to all the evidence that the district attorney has amassed at this point,” said Eisen, a criminal defense attorney and senior fellow at the Brookings Institution. “It just depends on the evidence.”
Eisen was among the authors of a lengthy examination of the applicable law in the Fulton investigation, concluding that possible crimes, besides racketeering, included making false statements and conspiracy to commit election fraud.
Malcolm said he agrees with the report’s conclusion that Trump is at substantial risk of being charged. But he said he believes much of its analysis is “slanted and misguided.”
Trump’s call to Georgia
Willis launched her probe shortly after Trump’s Jan. 2, 2021, phone call to Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger (R), during which Trump said, “I just want to find 11,780 votes.” That number would have given Trump exactly the votes he needed to reverse Biden’s victory.
While Trump has been widely rebuked for that comment and others during the roughly one-hour call, it’s unclear to some legal analysts if uttering those words broke the law.
Trump did not spell out that he wanted Raffensperger to break the law; nor did he directly ask the state official to find the votes, which might have given Willis a clearer path to seek a felony charge against him, such as solicitation to commit election fraud. Instead, the comment could be interpreted as the president simply spelling out the math that would allow him to reverse Biden’s victory.
Trump may have hurt himself, however, in his appearance last month at a town hall broadcast by CNN, during which he explained that he called Raffensperger to tell him, “You owe me votes because the election was rigged.” Willis could offer the statement as evidence of Trump’s intent for Raffensperger to switch votes, several legal experts said.
“Subjects of criminal investigation aren’t usually reckless enough to go on national television and admit their corrupt intent,” Anthony Michael Kreis, a constitutional law professor at Georgia State University, wrote on Twitter after the appearance. “But Donald Trump just handed Fani Willis a new piece of evidence and tied a bow on it.”
Willis has also investigated appearances by Giuliani and other Trump allies before Georgia lawmakers in the days immediately after the 2020 election, during which they described fantastical conspiracies of voting machines swapping Trump votes for Biden votes and poll workers in Atlanta triple-counting suitcases full of ballots.
It’s a felony in Georgia to make a false statement in a government matter, but Willis must prove that Giuliani and the others knew that what they were saying was false. Giuliani was not speaking under oath, so there is no exposure for perjury charges, and some legal experts say he might also be protected under the First Amendment.
Willis may also examine the actions of Clark, then the acting assistant attorney general for the Justice Department’s civil division, who wanted to send a letter to Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp (R) and state legislative leaders falsely claiming that the department was investigating “significant concerns” in the 2020 election, and urging them to call a special session of the General Assembly to appoint Trump’s electors to cast Georgia’s electoral college votes. Senior Justice Department officials blocked Clark from sending the draft.
Whether the Republican electors who convened to cast electoral college votes for Trump on Dec. 14, 2020, broke the law is perhaps even murkier.
Georgia was among seven states where the Trump campaign and local GOP officials arranged for alternate electors to convene with the stated purpose of preserving legal recourse while an election challenge made its way through the courts. Willis has offered some form of immunity to 12 of the 16 electors, according to three individuals with knowledge of the investigation. Not counted among those with immunity are Still, now a Georgia state senator, and Shafer.
Shafer helped organize the meeting and presided over it. Still has been described in news reports as having blocked members of the media from entering the room before the meeting started. Prosecutors have apparently focused on those activities in their questions to various witnesses, according to three other people with knowledge of the interviews. Prosecutors have also inquired about who mailed the electoral certificates to Washington, they said.
One of Shafer’s lawyers, Holly Pierson, wrote in a letter to Willis that Shafer had no knowledge that Trump allies would propose, later in December, to use the alternate elector certificates to block the counting of electoral votes for Biden in the Jan. 6 joint session of Congress. It is not even clear if the plan to thwart the joint session had been hatched by Dec. 14, 2020, the day the electors met. The House committee did not refer Shafer or Still to the Justice Department for federal prosecution. Pierson declined to comment.
As the nation waits to see what, if any, charges Willis will seek, one key question is what evidence she has gathered that Trump, his campaign or allies knew about all the different efforts to reverse Biden’s victory. And that’s just the first step — getting to trial and persuading a jury may present even more formidable challenges.
“Proving all this beyond a reasonable doubt,” Kreis said, “that’s going to be the hard part.”